The Bugle - Bugle 238 – Inprismed

Episode Date: June 14, 2013

Andy and John look through the prism and toss the coin of truth. Is Andy a witch? Is John enjoying the Daily Show hot seat? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world. Hello, Bee Euglers and welcome to issue 238 of the Bugle, the world's leading audio newspaper for a visual world for the week beginning Monday 17th June 2013. I'm Andy Zoltzmann, 5 times South London lawnmower describer of the year It's like a little trolley that cuts grass Competition hasn't been great to be honest, but a winter in and joining me from New York It's the 21st centuries water cronkite the host will have you on toast the anchor who'll out flank you the Interviewer will sing right through you that comedic kabab stick himself skewering the meaty topics and cooking

them on his skill grill it's John Oliver. Hello Andy. Hello, Buglas. On a side now Andy, I'm currently drinking out of an official f***ing QLG Bugl. Oh, there we go. First actual mug, I'm physically saved and it's a beauty Andy. Can we get Paul to take a picture of that and we can, we can sure. Why not? I Because I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm gone further than that. John, I've got a bugle mug hat and T-shirt combo on. You know, I'm going the whole, I'm, you, you're a company man to the core, right? That's right.

I'm all about, I'm all about, I'm all about the, you're, I'm all about company loyalty. So, you couldn't even say it. Let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, you couldn't even understand how to phrase those words in your face. Anyway, I'm one week down as temporary guests standing summer hoax for John Stewart. It has been, without exception, the strangest week of my life. The whole thing has been a blow up, but there was a couple of moments I thought you'd like to know about.

And it, Mavis Staples was on on Wednesday singing. I love Mavis Staples, Andy. She's an incredible singer, incredible person. On the occasion that we've met, we've always got on great, even though we have close to nothing in common. You've got to think about it. She is a legendary 74 year old African American gospel

R&B singer and civil rights activist, I Andy, on the other hand, and my 36 year old white British mid-to-low range comedian. And yet, she's always been extremely kind to me. There was this amazing exchange when I went to see a backstage before the show started. And she gave me this big hug, and she's a good hugger, Mavis Staples.

She's like a grandmother's hug in a good way. I don't know what a grandmother's hug in a bad way. I don't know what a grandmother's hug in a bad way. It's a good hug. She looked at me and she said, John, the angel of sure kissed you on both sides of the face. I paused and said, Mavis, I don't know what on earth you're talking about. She said,

you're dimples. That's not an expression of her, Dandy. Angel you're dimples. So that's not an expression of her, Andy. Angel kissing for dimples. And it's not an easy one to carry off without sounding intensely creepy, but maybe Staples is one of the few people in the world who can carry it off beautifully. Anyway, it's been a fucking weird wish. It does sell like I might have been some kind of

mafia threat. Michelle, I love a thing. Angel has kissed you on both cheeks. My blood is so low you're going. No, not in soda. That Angel is disappointed in you. And I have some very positive feedback from the, from buglers in particular. Well, that's, well, that's well that's, that's nice Andy.

Yeah. But with respect that doesn't really count. If Bugle is no longer what I'm doing with that, I'm in f***ing trouble. Well I just suggest that you know, maybe one day, you know, if I ever take a holiday you're ready to step up to hosting this as well, John. One step at a time Andy, that's too big a chair to fill.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, to be honest, I'm a bit out of shape, fair point. But so this is very much the first week in, it's been the first week in part two of the history of showbiz. I see it's very much like the new testament you've taken over at the Daily Show. Oh yeah, yeah. That's a hell of a claim. You're gonna back that up or you're just gonna love it there, aren't you? Yeah, like John the Baptist, just preparing a ground for a Jew whose views some I find controversial. So, well, just by then my time. I also started a new anchoring job on the greatest test. Our producer, Chris, is new Ashes podcast that I've tweeted a link to on the

I can you put links on the bugle site as well? Yes, if consider it done, if any of you give a shit about cricket, which I know some of you do, it's been a momentous way in the history of broadcasting on both sides of the Atlantic John. Are you basically starting a new media empire, Chris. Are you going to become the new Rupert Murdoch? Well, he is my role model and occasional employer. Right. So, yes.

What do you know about the divorce? I mean, have you got anything to do with that or not? Well, he only has eyes for me these days. Oh, right. Let's do that one. So this is a bugle 238. Now, uranium 238 is, of course course the most common isotope of Uranium. Over 99% of all natural Uranium is the classic 238 isotope.

What an isotope. And it has a half life of 4.5 billion years. So if Bugle 238 is anything like Uranium 238, this show is still got to be moderately funny in 9 billion years time after which probably was to give it a miss. Uranium 238 also of course used a nuclear nuclear weapon so do feel free to threaten to play this podcast to people you don't like or who've been giving you hassle, safe in the knowledge that they'll probably leave you alone rather than risk having to listen to it.

We're according on Friday the 14th of June. The 15th of June, 75 years ago, 1938, saw the patenting of the ballpoint pen by Lazlo Biro. And that's a fact, the idea came to him when he got a Brussels sprout jammed in a bottle of tomato sauce and in his efforts to dislodge the vegetable accidentally drew a rudimentary ketchup, William Bourbles, and thought to himself hang on there something in this, an edible pen. So he began using pure squid ink in a razor clam shell pen shaft with a baby welca's the ballpoint. But after retailers prove resistant to selling pens

that had to be refrigerated or would swiftly become poisonously fatal, he fine-tuned it over the years into the non-enable pen we all know and love to date. But does the bioros still have a future in a world where supplies of blue ink from genuine blue blooded aristocrats stockpiled when they decapitated the Maldron de France revolution and now running dangerously low. We may never know. To mark it, there's a new exhibition in London called Byron's Byros, a display of the Byro

pens that's ace 19th century poetry superstar, Lord Byron, might have used if he hadn't sadly died 114 years before the celebrity pens invention. And also includes some of the poems He could have written with a bieiro including this one that he would have written in the mid 70s They lived a certain man in Russia long ago He was big and strong in his eyes a flaming glow most people looked at him with terror and with fear But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely deer Rarar Rasputin crappest golfer there has been his driving and his short game were really quite bad.

Rarararar Rasputin couldn't get it on the green and to see him try to put that really was sad. So, um... And the Byron would have been obsessed with golfer if he'd been around in the mid to late 20 century. And it can I just stop you there? Yep. Just, you know, the interest of the last remaining fact on Earth committing suicide. I would really love to see Ken Burns's documentary version of your sense of history. It's just me, an elegant put that on my poster, yeah. Ha ha ha ha!

An elegant pan-shot poster gigantic wonder of bullshit. Two stars for Scott's map. Monday also marks 128 years since the Statue of Liberty arrived in the Big Apple New York City. Big bronze bab York City, Big Bronze Babes magazine's Hottie of the Year, on no fewer than 127 occasions, in those 120 years, beaten in 1971 by US First Lady Pat Nixon, though some suspect vote rigging by her husband Richard, was there nothing that man wouldn't stoop to,

even fictional stuff. He's spot the really nice story about the Statue of Liberty. What a f***ing shit. As always, a segment of people is going straight in the bin. Mid-Summer is next Friday, so this week we have your full, solstice guide. All the tips and pointers for making your mid-Summer, one of the greatest of the year, including

are, are you a druid quiz? Take our simple, multiple-choice druid diagnosis test to find out whether you could be an Iron Age pagan priest. Task 1. You've moved house to somewhere with a slightly bigger garden than you're used to having. How do you decorate it? A. Concrete it over and paint it green, so much easier on the upkeep.

B. Go to the local garden centre and buy some ornamental pots and a couple of f***ing shrubs. C. Build a world or one trench down the middle of it to help you appreciate the progress the world has made in the last 100 years. Or D, by a load of massive rocks plonk them up like giant croquet hoops, make sure they align with the sun one day a year or something, smear face in weird paint and start trying to prophesy the future by poking around in the entrails of freshly killed rabbits or whatever the f*** they did.

Task 2, Adorted or Salisman rings your doorbell. He is trying to convince you to switch your electricity supply, you tell him you are happy with your current supplier and move to close the door. He hastily states that 90% of customers could save money by switching to his company. What do you do next? A. Pallitely say you are still not interested and tell him that Nigel from next door really loves talking about electricity prices, so why not try him? Do you be, slam the door in his face shouting, get a proper job? Do you see, make an excuse such as, sorry I'm really busy right now, my kids are about to be born in a couple of years, or perhaps sorry I'm halfway through an emergency

tracky otter me on a friend in the kitchen, I better get back to it or he'll probably die. Or do you D, start declining strange ritualistic incantations, summon your priest to seize the man, take him into your back garden, place him in a giant wicker man and sacrifice him. If it's mostly D's, you are a druid, mostly A, B or C, possible seventh-day Adventist, partial Jew or unqualified Zoroastrian. That section is going in the bin and for Southern a commemorative audio penguin. A CREATED BELL RINGS A CREATED BELL RINGS A CREATED BELL RINGS A CREATED BELL RINGS Top story this week. Hide and go leak!

A CREATED BELL RINGS The huge story. Was that a pun? Was that like a pun? No, I don't know, it sounded like a pun, but it definitely wasn't a poem. Bandits. It was a rhyme. It wasn't a poem.

It wasn't a poem. Yeah, absolutely sure of that, dude. Definitely wasn't a poem. Everyone was a poem, Andy. Because if it was a poem, there'd have been some physical reaction in my body. Kind of in a poem. It was a rhyme, not a poem. Oh, yes, sure.

No poem. No poem. The huge story of this week, Andy, concerned Edward Snowden, the leaker, who incidentally Edward Snow does not mean it sounds like the name of a British mountaineer. Edward Snowden successfully scaled Mount Kilimanjaro, only killing 32 shepherds in the process. He planted a photograph of her majesty, the queen of the summit, before killing one more shepherds for good luck. Well done Edward!

Good climbing. Edward Snowden was the whistleblower behind the allegations that the NSA and the US government have dramatic powers of surveillance over the US population, both those under suspicion of committing crimes or plotting terrorist acts, and also those who've done absolutely nothing. He linked the allegations to the Guardian newspaper

after fleeing to Hong Kong, and Andy, let's pause for a moment, appreciate the fact that it is nice to have a British newspaper expose invasions of privacy rather than outright committing them. What a nice little twist to this story that is. I mean, this was predicted by some people. If I make quotes, you are being watched. The government has a secret system, a machine that spies on you every hour of every day. The machine was designed to detect active terror,

but it sees everything. You'll never find us, but we'll find you. Not my words, the words of whoever wrote the opening voiceover for the mid-range American TV crime drama, Person of Interest, which turns out to have been an active active incredible prophecy following the honorable tradition of other TV shows and becoming basically a fact such as Battlestar Galactica, 24 Spartacus and Match of the Day.

Prism is a government code name, the word Prism, for a data collection of officially known as US for a data collection of officially known as US-984XN, which John, that chilled me to the core because that is my password for my knitting patterns for beginners.com account. Well, how did they f***ing know, John? The point is that this goes really deep at the... What? Why are they interested in that? Why? It's not that they're interested in that, Andy. They're interested in a terrorist who might also be part of a knitting circle to try and find the map of his... It's complicated, Andy. I don't understand.

They're doing it for your safety, so shut up. I think that is what I do understand. Do you know why it's called prism, as well? No, because it was intended to make little things appear much bigger than they actually were. Now, a frog not behind a prism looks like a frog, a frog behind a really good prism, dinosaur. Pong prism.

Dinosaur frog. There was some amazing allegations in this story. Snow and claim that not only do the US government store details of the duration and location of every single cell phone call made in America in a huge facility in Utah, but the NSA also had access to emails and other online transactions from basically everyone who lives in the state. At one point, during his interview, he even claimed that he and other contractors had the ability to hack into the president's email if they were so inclined. And that is one

hell of a claim, Andy. It's basically coming from someone who the media here, rather pointlessly revealed was a high school dropout. But isn't that really the American dream right there, Andy? America is a country where a kid can drop out of high school and grow up to become the president of the United States's email hacker. That's a big dream.

Yeah, great is country in the world, Andy. But people are so much more worried about this kind of intrusion and, you know, kind of corporate spying. You know, companies like Amazon basically reading our minds, you bought Justin Bieber's My World 2.0, you also bought Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness. You also bought a porcelain figurine of a duck going shopping. You might also like a slash monster 3000X chainsaw. We should have bought what you interested in how to be a serial killer.

We don't mind that. We don't... The justification I guess is, well, if you've done nothing wrong, you haven't got that much to worry about, probably it'll all most certainly be fine. Nothing like this was ever, or could ever go wrong. The story has formed some very strange alliances, as people pick sides as whether this is a good thing

or a bad thing, a justifiable thing or an aberration. People who've come out in support of Edward Snowden include Glenn Beck and Michael Moore. And that just shows how alarming this story is, Andy, when those two actually f***ing agree on something, something really strange is happening. The response of the White House has been spectacularly disingenuous as well with President Obama choosing to spin this into a positive saying, I welcome this debate. Oh, oh really? You welcome it. You welcome the debate, do you? We're just waiting for the perfect time to have this debate. And it turned out to the perfect time out of pure coincidence. Was it immediately after an

illegal leak that was picked up by a national newspaper and made the rounds of the world? That's what you've heard from the administration here all week. The President welcomes this debate. This discussion is absolutely one that we should be having. It's healthy for us to be having this discussion as a country. Every administration in the end has their tails, Andy, like their poker tails. And I think we have just found the Obama administration's one. Bush administration's was, you know, I don't recall. I do not recall or I can't comment. The Obama administration is clearly let's definitely have that discussion. This is a talk we should

absolutely be having. What a good conversation to have and we should have it in the near future. It's basically just a different way of saying shut the f*** up. Shut up! I guess it's hard to know exactly where this story lies, probably somewhere between well, it's either monitor everything or you might as well buy the entire population of Islamist and one way tickets to Washington and tell them to dismantle the White House, brick by brick and make the president into a morangue which they then stamp on, eat and shit. Or, you go the other way, it's the government wants to know exactly how many minutes I'm

playing Angry Birds for every day, so they can work out if I'm lucky to throw actual birds at a building in a terrorist attack. It's very hard to know exactly where this lies, John. And what exactly does Prism record? I'm a bit concerned, it might record how much our listeners laugh at the bugle. That sounds like the kind of thing that is going to be going straight up there, tubes like a ferret after a testicle. It's how many, there's so much. It's kind of snoop on how many tins of beans you buy, then match it up with the amount

of empty tins you throw away and work out whether you might be stockpiling tins to buy to build a giant tin robot teradactyl to fly over America, calling and laying eggs. You know, where does it end, John? Where does it end? It ends before what you just said. That's definitely... Oh, that's all right. That's fine. There is a slight element of hypocrisy to our outrage around this as well, because it is... It is strange to hear people talk about the value of privacy when

so many people as part of their daily lives now volunteer up so many details of their personal lives to the public, putting up baby folk baby photos on Facebook talking about the colonoscopy they just had on Twitter and literally giving up their exact location and the location of others on four square it just it seems to be that you know we're as long as we've volunteered it is fine if you take it from us that is an overreach it's a gray line but it is a line I guess you know people untrust the government of this kind of information and I guess the government know, people don't trust the government with this kind of information.

And I guess the government has a bit of a boy who cried wolf issue of rising. They've not always proven to be throwing darts of honesty into the treble 20 of truth on issues such as this. And I guess so, if the boy who cried wolf had been laying it down today, people wouldn't have been sucked in. By May, I suppose the government would have picked up on the lack of wolves in his local area from some Google wolf tracker app, cross-referred it with all his tweets like, oh shit, I'm going to be eating hashtag wolfie, hashtag sharp teeth, and check his Facebook status updates about to be eaten by a wolf and called him out for it. I mean, this is progress, John.

Obama last weekend said, you cannot have 100% security and they also then have 100% privacy and zero inconvenience. This is basically an update on little Tommy Jefferson's famous cat phrase, the price of liberty is eternal vigilance. And it turns out that we actually got behind on our vigilance payments, bit of complacency about that. The interest kicked in the bailiff were looking menacing. The price of liberty has consequently gone up to a, uh, eternal vigilance plus state

intrusion, and it will only actually buy a reduced version of liberty that doesn't actually have full functionality. Once you get behind on your payments, it is so tough, so tough to get back. I think that's what we've learnt from this, uh, this prism story. And again, I think we need to look for the positives because, you know, this could really, I think I think this could really help people out, you know, have the state knowing your day-to-day schedule and everything that's going on in your life. I mean, it does raise the chance that the FBI will, the CIA could launch dawn raids in suburban Minneapolis, smash down the front door of a family's house, burst into their teenage unsbedroom, pin him to the wall at gunpoint and say, we've been monitoring emails from you

and your social group, we know exactly what's going on, and we're delighted to report that Bridget from your drama class quite fancies you as well, if I've instant messaging with her bestie, Michelle, is anything to go by, but Michelle isn't sure you're right for her. So if you want us to bump her off on some trumped-up rumor that she's Chagrothaar is Iranian niece, just say the word. We'll all benefit from it. It's a great day for freedom. James Clapper, did you cover him on the Daily Show? Yeah, we did. Except that this extraordinary thing in March asked at an open congressional hearing whether the

National Security Agency collects any type of data at all on millions or hundreds of millions of Americans, replied, no sir, not wittingly. Which, that's one of the bullseiest pieces of bullshit in political history, or un-or what are the most impressive acts of unwitting mass surveillance ever undertaken. It is possible that you misheard the question and what he thought he heard the question from Senator Ron Wyden as being was, have you ever heard a song by the 1970s Chlesma Funk Disco Fusion Band DJ Jacob and the Yamalkas not wittingly? Then you can understand that

that answer or perhaps in what English village did novelist G. K. Chesterton vomited in a hedge after eating what he thought was a bowl of spaghetti hoops but was in fact a bowl of worms answer the village of not wittingly. Or perhaps it was his answers to the three questions A which England wicketkeeper made 269 dismissals for England in his 95 match test career. B, brevity is the soul of what and C, how does your penis feel after you dip it in a gin and tonic? Not wit, tingly. Oh, but, well, and you think, you think the not-wittingly use of eccentric language is the bullsiest thing he said.

You clearly do hear his follow-up statement, because when asked about what he had said in that congressional hearing, he said he had just tried to give the least untruthful answer possible. That is some linguistic jujitsu, Andy. He's wanting the English language to tap out before he breaks its neck.

He's wanting the English language to tap out before he breaks its neck. Yeah, that is a quadruple salco. In your hosting debut on Monday, you also picked up on the filter the NSA used to make sure they don't peer into the emotional service of the wrong people. They have to have a 51% confidence that the subject is foreign and pointed out this is basically tossing a coin plus 1%. Well I've got a follow-up on this for you, John, I have a coin and I have been tossing it and it is currently returning 100% fact because they start off the current cricket tournament in England, the Champions trophy. I decided to predict the tournament, I just toss a coin to get the, to predict the

results of all 15 games in the tournament. We're eight games in currently. I've got seven out of eight right. And the one that wasn't right was rained off, so you can actually have a result. So I'm basically seven for seven with my magic coin. There's only two options there. And either you or that coin are a witch. Or heavily involved in some Indian betting syndicate.

And... Well, I actually have the magic coin with me now. The cup of day at the end, I dawned with a holy, a lascivious face of her magic tea tea, Queen Elizabeth II. I can't just see both sides. This, yeah, real quick.

This newmismatic May Bob, this one-pence powerhead who know with all things just DT Queen Elizabeth for seconds. Can't just see both sides. This, yeah, real quick. This numismatic and may bob. This one-pence powerhead who know with all things and speak if only true. So I thought we could maybe find out what the world should do about the big issues using this coin of truth. So I mean, are there any questions you particularly want to ask the coin about the world or your own career, John?

Sure, Andy, does Kashmir belong to India or Pakistan? Andy, I know that was a gray area when we British through those lines. Okay, so we'll go with... So, Doug, Doug, yeah, go on. We'll go with... Okay. What's heads, so that's the answer there. That's the answer. That's basically the answer that we British gave in to our it's heads. So I'm sort of sort that out yourselves.

Yeah, sleepy. I'm not making that mistake again, John. I want certain when I was after the cricket World Cup in India, an India of playing Pakistan and the World Cup semi-final. But what I thought was a little light-hearted tweet off about how the winner would get to keep Kashmir. And I had some of the most concisely worded abuse held at me on Twitter that I've ever been the the honored recipient of. I'm not going to make that mistake again. I'm going to go with is prism right or wrong? Heads for right, tails for wrong. It's tailed, it is wrong.

It is okay. The coin of truth. I've spoken. But does this mean that I am actually a terrorist? Heads for yes, tails for no. I'm not a terrorist. So that just goes to show. So this whole Andy. It's Kate Middleton going to have a girl or a boy. Okay. So what do you like? So a boy heads girl tails. Right. Actually, let's let's flick that around. That's crazy. Yeah, you go heads boy tails. Actually, let's flip that around. That's crazy. Yeah, you go heads boy tails. Okay, right. It's a boy. It's a kid.

King, we have a king. Norman Teppet rest easy. We will not have a lesbian coin being artificially inseminated to create an heir to the throne. Andy, what's the freaky thing about rats? The what? The freaky thing about rats.

What their heads or their titles? Okay, right. Heads, rats, heads. That's true, yeah, I think so, yeah. I'm not that freaked out by their titles, which is a bit of manky string, isn't it? But their heads, that's like looking into the very soul of the devil himself, but miniature.

Syria, still rumbling on a balding man's head of an issue, an increasing distance between the two sides, increasingly hard to attract attention and allegations that chemicals have been used, and the Russians want to cover it up. So should we arm the rebels in Syria, heads for yes, tails for no, it's tails, we should not arm the rebels in Syria heads for yes, tails for no. It's tails. We should not arm, we should not arm the rebels. Well I guess the coin is saying it's a complicated issue. We don't know exactly who the rebels are. It's quite a nebulous concept. Yeah well I think that's what the coin is saying. They seem to fractured. Yeah I mean look there's an argument to be made either side and the coin clearly says give it time

look for some kind of political solution. It's difficult. It's a very nuanced coin this, as you'd expect from something with... It's not a knee-ocon coin, is it? No. You expect with a coin's face on it, she's a very wise woman, she's very diplomatic, I think the coin has lived up to that as well. And finally, Michael Gove, the education secretary, said to me, extraordinary this week, they've revamped the GCSE system to try and make it tough. And he says that he hopes this will equip British children better to quote, win in the global race, which, as a view of education, I think, is one of the most chilling things I've ever heard of British politician say. So,

but so this is, is the purpose of education to win in the global race or is it personal improvement and spiritual performance heads for winning in the global race is go right. He is right. Michael go is actually correct. In my sounded like the lunatic rantings of a deranged madman, but the coin of truth has proved that govian education is the waifur that is all we are now we are just cogs in Michael Goves plan for British economic control of the world we can't build our empire again we can educate our children to win in this hypothetical global race thank you coin the coin has spoken that was a tough one to stomach that one. No man can say it.

TRIGGER BELLS Your emails now, and this one comes in from, oh, I should probably, I should probably use the name, give them the Compton email. Password. Wow, this sounds good. Password is not, yeah, password is the topic. Gentlemen, brackets, ladies at the weekend

have tabloid reports of to be believed. Well, you're going to get this level of intrusion, John. Now you're a showpiece, I list them. Of course. My internet service provider recently insisted that I change my password after having a dozen attempts rejected because they were, quotes, recognisable words, including one, Q, two, W, three, E, four, R. In cheer for us, Trace and Childish protest,

I typed in eeulogy, inspired by the mug on my desk. Imagine my dismay when this was accepted as a suitable password. Eulogy not a recognizable word. What the f***? Someone needs a word with the OED. Samuel Johnson must be spinning in his grave.

LAUGHTER So regards, I don't want to give away your name, Mr. GC. Just in case people can guess what obvious passwords you clearly go for. And this coming from random bloke who writes, on the subject Mrs. Vladimir Putin the second, dear Chris Andy and John in order for likely to actually pay attention to this email rather than letting the content skid off the surface of your mind while you ponder cricket stats or the crossing pressure, all those people wondering why that Jewish presenter is looking somehow both younger and more Jewish. I would like to turn my application for being Mrs Vladimir Putin the second whilst, yeah, because we've

not covered as many stories since, because well, we've both been pretty busy. But yeah, Putin is getting divorced and I would not like to be Vladimir Putin's ex-wife. I think that is one thing that I would not like to be in the world. I wouldn't want to be Vladimir Putin's ex-wife, current wife or future wife, Andy. He seems like a handful as a husband.

Well, so it is true that I am a man and in a long-term relationship. I believe that just not put me out of the running. In fact, it occurred to me as I listened to last week's bugle that if there is any reason why I've taken so much shit from my misses for the last 20 years, and I mean as soon as I'm a ship at regular intervals with the intimidating tidal lapping at the shores of my unconscious every day, as if to remind you, don't relax mate, there's another force-tengale of misery squits on the way.

I do hope your wife doesn't listen to this. Then it can only be to prepare me for the armsort of abuse, at the hands of one of the world's most dangerous and deluded leaders. You think you scare me, Putin? Bring it the f*** on! I have sometimes, and prefer yourself with this, guys. Sometimes, forget to do or buy something for my mrs. You can threaten me all you want with your poison umbrellas, polonium and interrogation, so enhance you sometimes forget to even ask the questions. It means nothing to me. Perhaps it's a common sensation that long-term male partners feel this way, that that young Rob

Stark was in fact the luckiest character in Game of Thrones. So what if sex will be an unwelcome and possibly violent encounter from a man who leaps on to me from the back of rampaging tiger? It will at least be sex For the positive. Oh, this is basically This is why you're not Just send it direct to your lawyer The unlikely possibility this communication microste polypuro desk of my current overlord Maybe you shouldn't read out any of my identifying

information. If you see me in the street, you'll know it's me, the desperate stare of a lost soul awaiting the sweet release of death. Cape up the good work, Japs! Yours, random bloke. So I mean that's a pretty strong application, you know, from a'm in Nene, can't any woman truly time Vladimir Putin? If you had to choose between being Mrs. Putin and Mrs. Burlusconi, what's him? Boy, boy. That is a, when that's one of the ultimate philosophical questions, isn't it?

It sure is, yeah, that's right. I think Buddhist monks have been up mountains for decades trying to figure that out. That's probably the best place to be. Before finally the answer when they throw themselves off a mountain screaming, neither it's neither. So thanks for all your emails and your kind words of praise and congratulation for John's hosting efforts on the daily. So do get your emails coming into info at thebugelpodcast.com. Check out our SoundCloud page, SoundCloud.com slash the hyphen bugle. You can buy merch and take out your voluntary subscription if you haven't done it yet. And I'm sure you all have all of you at theBuglePodcast.com

where Chris will also post a link to our new cricket show. So that's about it for this week. John Besselut for the difficult second week. Thank you very much. Don't go too experimental. Save that for a week for it. John's Dogman star. And we'll be back next week with Bugle 239, until then from the centres of showbiz on both sides of the Atlantic. Goodbye. I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the

I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the I'm not a fan of the

I'm not a fan of the to flee from.