The Bugle - Bugle 247 – Mind The Gap!

Episode Date: September 22, 2013

Andy and John look at the disparity in wealth in the US, report from the Op-Ed wars, and are joined by a comfortably racist blast from the past Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world. Hello Bugleers and welcome to Bugle issue 247, the first bugle of the golden era of world peace that broke out after last week solving of a serious crisis. Sweat conveniently back under the carpet with a comforting squelch so we can all get back for two having fun. I'm Andy Zoltzmann in London, and joining us from the logical conclusion to Western culture, Los Angeles. It's the Tinseltown Teroy himself, the Hollywood hot stuff, the self-reclaimed Ginger Rogers of the 21st Century. John Oliver.

Oh, please don't let this busy be where humanity is having Andy. I have a new OMIN LA, the City of Angels, that's named after angels, a strip club on Strasbourg Boulevard. I believe the technical name for this city is City of Broken Dreams, that's named after the strip club Broken Dreams, which is just off Ventura. I'm out here for the Emmy Awards tomorrow and I, and here to shoot a couple of episodes of Community Next Week. The rest of the time I'll presumably be eating macroborosis movies, surfing with Vin Diesel, and pumping weights on muscle B-chatsy. Pumping weights. Last weekend I was at a friend's wedding in Philadelphia, which was in a Catholic church, and look, it's not often I walk into one of those and

the without feeling flames licking at the stil my feet and my relationship with catholicism may not have improved after an incident in the church just before the wedding I was standing right at the front of the front I don't know what you call it X entrance exit whatever I call it the front of the church talking to an eight year old boy and he was thirsty and he said can I drink from that and he pointed at what looked to me to be some kind of water fountain on the water I said sure go for it and he was thirsty and he said, can I drink from that? And he pointed at what looked to me to be some kind of water fountain on the water. So I said, sure, go for it. And he did, and he left away for a few seconds, before a horrified man pulled him away and followed that up by dipping his finger in the water and crossing himself.

Apparently, he was holy water and he's not a drinking fountain. That is my bad. And the kid is how either significantly holier than he was this time last week or significantly thicker because this is true the groom texted me the next morning with a link to a local news story about bacteria in holy water and the bill of the health of the judges if the kid goes down we know who's appointed the thinker at. Thanks to all buglers who've come to see my satirist for a show and so hope you've enjoyed

the show. Thanks for sending in your satirical request from the globally relevant to the downright weird. And this one came in, I won't use the guys name. And I think a lot of questions arise from this. Dear Andy, whilst I imagine much of your show will be spent holding up a myritor on just society and mashing political hot potatoes, testifying. I wonder if you consider a more self-serving and devious request.

I met up with a girl last weekend for a first date. Unfortunately, it turns out she's really clever and funny and attractive, which is a nightmare, as I'm not sure I'm any of these things She's agreed to a second date Obviously your show was my first thought for a romantic night out. Well, I've just That relationship is now over

Because having said in this email John in the, I got to it and I said, are you here? Are you here? And he neither him nor the girl were there. So it turns out that the mere threat of going to see my gig is enough to break up a relationship. John, we have a surprise guest on the, on the Google today with some very searching questions for you about some of the things you've been saying recently. John, hello, it's Tom all the way from Australia. Oh my goodness me. And you, I've got a bone to pick with you on two counts. Yeah, pick it away.

Well, one, the publicist for Smirfs 2 in Australia seems to be stalking me. Could you please ask her to stop? I don't want to go see the film. No offense, John. I just, I've gotten so many emails, it's getting slightly creepy. So if you could tell them, that would be really helpful.

And I understand that you came to Australia and were rude to a former prime minister. And that you're up for an Emmy that's congratulations. This is John Howard with the two are linked. The two are linked. Well I've got to say if that's the qualifying thing if to be rude to John Howard gets you an Emmy nomination then a lot of Australia will be going for the Oscars next year. I'm hoping to come down to call Tony Abbott and Harfell. I mean, I just held my hand out on way to be given a gong. I think he'd take that as a compliment. At this point, because of where I work, I can't possibly voice any opinion about Tony Abbott's,

no, minister in charge of women's affairs, who in 2006 said that maybe men are genetically built to lead women. Yeah, I have no opinion on that one. But you're not saying you're an, you're just raiding a fact, I mean, letting people judge from that fact what they will. No, as a representative of Australia's public broadcasting company, I need to say, Tony Abbott's in within his power, not to a point of science minister, because let's face it, Australia isn't getting hotter.

Yeah, or scientists are fat as well.. I mean it's, you know. It's like organic groceries. It was a great idea a few years ago. It just, it doesn't have practical in this austerity-led world. Well, I mean, you know, human kind of managed to live without science for millions of years. And it's probably, I've just got to come in about 1930, didn't it? Yeah, it's, it's called a culture trope. The idea of basically what you don't know doesn't hurt you, you know, ignorance is bliss, basically.

Should explain long-term bugles will recognise the Dalcettot, Scottish Australian tone of Thomas R. original bugle producer from way back in the mists of bugle history. Well, someone took a break. Previously, a couple of months ago, someone came up to me and said, Oh, you're from the old bugles. Oh, wow. I'm from the old Bugles. Oh wow. I'm from the old Bugles. Geez.

From the deep dark prehistory of podcasting. So we're welcome back for a fleeting visiting visit. What have you done with Chris? Oh he's talking about, he's doing football stuff. I said we have, so here we have, and we have Rich is the standing and producing hello Rich. I'll seize the opportunity to speak into a microphone. There we go. There we go.

That's another one. Full that done. I can't say f*** you to him. I don't even know him. If anyone else wants to say f*** you to Rich, or even to Tom, having missed out on the opportunity to do f***ing things. Yeah, c*** you from the old bugle. So welcome to this bugle 247. For the week beginning Monday, the 23rd of September,

as always a section of this bugle is going straight into bin. This week an archaeological finds section. Some very exciting news John, a new gospel has been discovered. Another new one, the gospel according to Saint Biansus, which details only Jesus is minor miracles. Rather than the major ones, they've got so much press coverage in the InnoBigGospels. These include House Training, Lazarus' new puppy in a single afternoon.

Doing an entire parable or spancing on a pogo stick. Getting his friends Kevin and Nadine to stay together despite having had a stand-up row outside the temple about whether or not to put in a new patio. And most memorably, winning a game of animal snap, despite wearing a blindfold. "'Lord, you did memorize the order of the cards,' said Peter. "'No, Peter, I had faith. I believed in the cards, and the cards fell good for me. Peter scepticised you not my son. I'll expect this kind of shit from Thomas, but not from you.' "'With respect, Gaffer, please, call me Lord. Sorry, Lord. With respect, I saw you looking through the cards, and then not shuffling them properly. No, Peter, I just lured you like a mills and booms said Jesus bullshit Lord screw you, Peter

If you didn't make the noises of the animals as soon as the guard went down it wouldn't be so fucking easy You owe me 50 shekels and where's a scary? He's doesn't pay me for the polka night last week Will you obviously cheated in that one Lord? Yeah, well, he should get over it Also been discovered a new Egyptian tomb. Very exciting news including the first known pictures of Canubis, the ancient Egyptian goddess of tedious conversation. And also the 14th century Pharaohs, the dynasty of 14th century Pharaohs including Alos Mahat is that a new hat, I have a new hat and I'd use a scarf too. Sorry I'd use a scarf for a second. It's been a long week. I've missed this.

Something's changed, Tom. We've been trending water for the last half a decade. top story this week mind the gap mind the gap mind the gap and he there are gaps the government actually care about of course such as a likability gap that's when poll suggests that the candidate is not testing as likable with the public so his team will stop at nothing to try and find a particular color of tie to fix that problem. Then there are the gaps that politicians really couldn't give two shits about such as the wealth gap. Now in America, that gap has become more of a grand canyon recently, so much so that Stuntman

are currently lining up to perform death-defying stunts such as tight-rope walk across the wealth gap, as long as they can find a piece of wire long enough. And recent statistics proved that the income gap between the richest 1% of Americans and the other 99% widened to a record margin in 2012, breaking the previous record, sent in 1927, and bear in mind that the wealth gap in 1927 in America was between the two points of a man wearing a shiny

monocle and a child's washing its rags in an open sewer. So that was a pretty, pretty objectively impressive gap back then. Well this has to be seen in historical context, John, because this is a great triumph for America when these figures were announced America as a nation went what's that oh mr. Krushchev you've gone eerily quiet stick that in your datcher and collectively farm it so it's very much great victory for America kind of this is the this is the this is really the end point of the cold war for me well according to tax filing the top one percent of us are in this collective nineteen point three percent of household income and that is just what they're filing and the account that came in island bank account for the hundred dollar bills that

have stopped into their comically oversize matrices and those statistics don't even focus on the even narrower opa percent which is the very small percentage of people who are op. South Africa has once again done extremely well over the last 12 months, Andy. Some of these statistics are so horrifying, their impact is almost physical. It's like numbers suddenly have the ability to reach out and slap you in the face.

Over the last tax year in the state, the top 10% of richest households represented just under half of all income in the year and over the last three years 95% of all income gains have gone to the richest one percent of people. Did you feel a physical reaction to those numbers? Didn't it somehow feel that those figures had gone into your ears, traveled through your body and then spent a few seconds kicking you in the balls? I don't know how that's possible and I know that it isn't.

But someone tell me, someone tell my balls that and because they feel awful sore right now. We've had kind of similar discussions over here. George Osborne, I remember in the year at the budget, I think, said, those with the broadest shoulders should bear the greatest burden. Then, stock from it, it said, sorry, not not greatest burden. I meant flashiest golden cape. Those with the broadest shoulders should bear the greatest burden. Then stock from it said, sorry, not not greatest burden, I meant flashiest golden cape. Those with the broader shoulders should definitely wear the flashiest golden cape. Which is not just the complete lack of concern from most wealthy politicians in the face of poverty. If the inexplicable anger that they have at

the poor for somehow getting themselves into this mess in the UK Michael Gove who is Secretary of State for Education but who also seems that he would feel right at home in a Dickens novel walking through an orphanage whacking children with a pointy stick he made some comments recently about me honest on that is actually part of his education policy so that right okay well that's exactly he made some comments recently about food banks which is punching down so hard i think you may have disordered the issue he said during a departmental questions that you can be

the users of local food banks car budget properly which i guess is true and the if by that you mean to apply very literally don't have enough money to form a functional budget through his disservice of a human being if you mean anything other than that of course, then you are a flaming asshole. Someone who, I believe in Spanish, you would call Pendejo on Fuego. Pendejo and Fuego.

Have you been doing some lessons, John? A little bit. I think that means, I'll hold on fire, not fighting our soul, but I'm hoping it gets the basic point across. What's that title of a John Denver album? What, what, what, Pendejo, on Flagot? No, I'll hold on fire. Yeah, I think it was just before the final album. Yeah, go, did say this, basically saying that people are using food banks because of poor economic decisions. And that is true. The only problem is that the economic decisions were not made by the people using the food banks, which must have led those little bits of gravel they were getting taste even more

bitter. Yeah, look what you're essentially saying seems to be, look, the government should simply help to make better decisions such as the decision to not be poor by parents chose not to be poor and their parents before them it boggles one's mind try to understand why one would actively choose to be in poverty to produce some people just love the taste of dirt just take your bootstraps and pull yourself up by them

and if you can't afford bootstraps I simply don't know what to say to you. It's good possibly be paving the way for the next general election, a nationwide call of the poor. In fact, David Cameron was recently overheard in a one-man press conference in his own bedroom, practicing a speech in which he said, what do they actually do? I know the last government call of the poor, cunningly disguised as World War One, did not prove particularly popular, but I think the majority would accept that poor from other countries are now so much more efficient than our own British poor and sacrifices will have to be made literally in some cases. Where's my chainsaw? Bring forth the pleb! Bring you can't go

has been widely criticized as being out of touch but uh... actually don't think they would understand a poor person and if they were physically touching them with the solar their shoe while standing on their face which is metaphorically essentially what they're currently doing anyway because this currently comes on the back of the conservatives in britain also standing by their controversial bedroom tax, which docks housing benefit by 14% if welfare recipients

in social housing have a second bedroom, something which is objectively not their fault and is a massive and also lines up with a massive shortage of council one bedroom properties for them to hypothetically move into. But this policy seems to think that you might be able to punish poor people out of their difficult situation, which is like a doctor hoping that a comatose patient will wake up if you repeatedly slam them with a prank of wood. I guess it's theoretically possible, but even on the off-jobs that they do wake up, they're going to wake up justifiably angry.

Well, that's it. Well, this is the right way to do it John. If you've got a cap that appears to be very, very ill and you want it to be a bit more sprightly, the way to make it move is to shoot it repeatedly and it will start twitching. It will definitely start twitching. The current conservative attitude towards combating poverty seems to be the same attitude that say don't massacres have toward sex. Look if it doesn't hurt you are clearly not doing it right. According to the latest figures one in three council tenants affected by the housing benefit to have fallen behind on rent since the policy took effect. Now obviously this has not gone down

at all well and the government have just issued a response to these figures saying obviously this is very disappointing and not all we intend with this policy which was supposed to create equality not division. Therefore you will be ruthlessly targeting the remaining 66% to make sure that they fall into debt they can't afford to or a feast that forced to leave their homes, families and communities just to see the looks on their faces. And many of literally fallen fouls of the new regulations, John, in that they have to take on extra job stressing as pantomime chickens to publicise international awareness week, just to make ends meet. But interestingly, it's been confirmed today, exclusively to the bugle, that the queen has fallen foul

of these new housing regulations. It turned out that she had in her homes a total of 174 unoccupied bedrooms. As a result of which she and her current squeeze, Prince Philip have been relocated to one bedroom council flat in Brixton, from where her majesty will continue to rule her subjects with her characteristic non-committal neutrality, very much a potato fist in a potato glove. neutrality, very much a potato fist in a potato glove. Oop head off news now, and last week you might remember the Vladimir Putin took to the pages of the New York Times to write an op-ed about American foreign policy, especially regarding Syria. Well this is set off something of an op-ed arms race around the world right now as John

McCain fully qualified captain Cranky Pants. Look at the following self to respond by writing an attack on Putin published on Russia's Pravda website. Now, the peace was headlined, Russia's deserved better than Putin and accused the Kremlin of punishing decent, rigging elections, backing tyrants, censoring the media, fostering corruption and banishing political opponents. McCain said that Putin was undermining his country's reputation

through support for serious government in the face of the West's outrage over its use of chemical weapons. The op-ed said he is not enhancing Russia's global reputation, he's destroying it, he has made her a friend to tyrants and an enemy to the oppressed and untrusted by nations that seek to build a safer, more peaceful and prosperous world. That is one step short, and he is just drawing a cartoon of Putin's face with a penis coming out of his forehead. And this now seems to be the new wave in international diplomacy, or more specifically international smack talk, just using each other's newspapers at the back of a bathroom stall door

these are pets truly proven that the pen is indeed petty of the thought well i'm a came may have slightly screwed up in there the particular location of the article because puttons was in the new york times america's most famous newspaper but the came to put was published on Pravda's website, not even Pravda itself,

which was Russia's most famous newspaper, around three decades ago. One Russian opposition activist, Ilya Yashin, tweeted McCain evidently doesn't realize that Pravda.ru is not the Pravda newspaper. He remembers from Cold War time. And another said senator mccain mix up the pravda newspaper and the pravda dot r u website

it's the problem is russia's communist party still produces it's own separate pravda periodical but the publication has such a small distribution that most russians would not even be able to buy it from new stan but still that's not a point and the point is that he did it it's not what he did or where he did it if that he did it at all that's the point that the point you try to make and mccain and put in a far far from alone and the in writing off his

in each other's papers this uh... in the if the u-n general assembly annual meeting next week the circus ring the true such memorably crazy speeches from the likes of gadafi and arthur dynasties and iran's new leader president has san ruhan he has just written a couple of days ago and offered here in the washington post in it he urges other world leaders to seize the opportunity presented by selection to engage a ran in a constructive dialogue and he said that his country was ready to facilitate talks between the Syrian government and the opposition uh... he says gone is the age of blood feuds.

World leaders are expected to lead in turning threats into opportunities. Gone is the age of blood flu feuds. What the f**k is that Andy? America looks to a rant to be a cartoon nemesis, not a persuasive sense of reason. Rouhani is supposed to offer blood-curdling threats, not salient advice. Also, as encouraging as the tone of his op-ed is, Andy, Rouhani really might want to deliver that whole Donny V.A. to blood-fused arguments to lots of Iran's closest allies, as well as to its supposed enemies. The whole op-ed, which is owned not so much as provocation for more explanation as well as

olive branch, and it's just, and it's just the latest indication that Rouhani may actually be willing to try to thaw relations with the United States, at least getting that tempered down to cold from the current f***ing freezing moment. In other news, this was a story, actually sent in for satirization by one of my audience members. This went an amazing story. During the Second World War, butchers in Germany and allied an occupied Austria, Poland, Northern France were outlawed from making sausages because the intestines were needed to make

zeppelin airships. Which is absolutely extraordinary. I've got to show where you ban sausages there, you also ban people. That just shows how much Germany wanted to fight that war on because that's their biggest sacrifice. The German people love a sausage to a fault. I'm too including a massive personal fault. It's not the Belgians, but in fact maybe the Belgians were asked, you know, if you have to sacrifice waffles to fight a war and that's why they went just let him in, let him in. You're asking too much. But I'm not sure, I don't I don't think I wasn't aware that

Basically airships were made of sausage. Yeah, the airships are not kosher and it but chose them It actually comes up because I did some research into this and the Hindenburg of course famously went down in 1936 or 3637 around about then and And you hear that you know the the Germans obviously knew of it's the fact that it was basically a giant flying sausage If you hear the German comment on it because it would probably heard the English Commentary and all that kind of disaster Unfolding but I might see it on YouTube and finally German German commentary on it and I brought transcripts

Strand transcript of that commentary A few bugleers today a'r transgipt o'r ffadau'r cwmryr y ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ffadau'r ff Feuer, Feuer! Und so ist es leischverschlunden. Ja, ja, das, das, das, das, ja, ja, ja. Ja, ich habe da, da musst du auch monchiden, in das großen, grossen Ballon. Ja, wo ist Bang? Ja, wir haben hier aber trotzdem geheidet und schnitzgeflütz. Geflütz. Ja, ja, ja, ja. Ein Track Frankfurt 1, bei den monchten Freien. Ja, ja, ja, die Aboonschen bleibt auch.

Guten Schnitzgebang, Bang, Bang, Bang, da läuft und läuft. Das macht einen Explotenkraft. Exploten,, but I should lure at the back and bow. A rumenegge, a clinsman, Reich. Reich! Reich! That gives a little insight into... Beautiful language, Andy. It's the true... the true harem. I'm pretty sure that's racism.

through the true harem. I'm pretty sure that's racism. Another extraordinary story coming in from Russia, and this really kind of shows the nation that John McCain is taking on. There was an argument between two Russian people. There's nothing unusual there, there's Russia. I've had some pretty big internal disagreements in the past, often involving trains going to pretty far away and pretty cold destinations. This argument happened in a grocery store, again, understandable. And it ended up with one man shooting the other man.

Now again, it doesn't say that's surprising, perhaps one of the men was saved Vladimir Putin and the other man was perhaps a journalist. You know, it's an alteration of resolving disputes through shooting. But this disagreement was about the theories of the 18th century German philosopher Immanuel Kant. You see, and the truth is the difference between the Russians and the French right there. In France, an argument about philosophy ends with some passive aggressive smoking outside

a coffee shop in Paris. In Russia, it ends with a gunfight in a grocery store. That's right. That's why the Polish and them could never get on. In a words of fragment, the Roosevelt's, oh, those Russians. Was that Roosevelt or Boney M? I can't remember. All I know is that if you play Brown Girl in the ring backwards,

it's basically a fully-costed explanation of the new deal. And Daddy Cool, if you play backwards, is an admission that FDR had immediate air-hot bumped off because you wouldn't let him have a go in her plane. Anyway, in the course of this fight, the suspect took out a pistol and fired rubber bullets at his opponent who survived. But it's, I'm going to extraordinary to have just a simple argument about philosophy and in the shooting.

I'm also not going to get the transcript of this, just a regular conversation in the grocery shop about philosophers. Hey, Eagle, we've been in this grocery store since 3pm, it's now 4pm, this really has been the shopper now. I really fancy a duest old bread roll. I'm just quitting, this is me checking it. But this behagel is too expensive, I'm not shelling out for that, it's a lock of money. Well, you might think that, but I've left my cash at home. Oh, you're going to need your credit card then. It's been stolen by the wife. How's that divorce coming on? Ssh, legal matter. Can someone's please just knock me out? How can you do this to Tom? It's the first time we've been back in years and this

is how you're welcoming back. Your pistol mology, your pistol mologyistemology better see a doctor could be kidney stones. Anyway, um, a more hot, hot, hot, hot. A more hot. Here's a question about a manual cant. In 1790 a manual cant defined laughter as an affection arising from what? A, rude words, B, a stained expectation being suddenly reduced to nothing nothing, see a man riding a bicycle into a hedge, or D, a woman doing something a man would not dream of doing, or vice versa. Answers on a postcard to the late Mr. Cantonist. The

Bugle feature section now and the arts. A new series, John, starting this weekend of the smash hits historical costume soap opera, Downton Abbey. I know it's been a big hit in the States. As well, does it been a big hit in Australia, Tom? We don't have television, so I wouldn't. All right.

Just stand around being comfortably racist. Does that I believe? I think so. And don't so- And commentate on that for again. Well, Americans often come to Australia and make sweeping statements in there. What was it, John, three day tour? And suddenly they know everything about Australia.

It was not three day. It was not three day tour. It was a week. And in that week, frankly, you managed to pack in a lot of comfortable races, right? All of the stuff. What is it about you, Americans? You go to a foreign country and you just intend on pissing people off Australia, Afghanistan, Iraq,

no Syria, it's just not right. That's learned behavior, let's not forget who started America. We did it with a much better class of jacket though. That is hereditary in irritation. To answer your question, Denton Abbey is huge, but is interrupted by endless advance, which is incredibly frustrating if you're trying to follow the very boring plot. Well, I mean, there have been a lot of controversy actually in the papers about the number of

the infinite monkeys who write the dialogue who died due to the all conditions in the writers room. Of course, David Cameron loves it. He sees it is very much gritty social realism. And we have some exclusive previews of series four of Down to Abbey, or the thrilling plot developments. Can Lady Grantham finish her apple? Will Mrs Hughes hold a fork? What is Lady Ethel pointing at a stick? And will Bates ever find his missing penis?

Also, when Cantankristen, oddly moustache German houseguest, Adolf Hotler arrives with a 100 man servants all dressed in intimidatingly sinister uniforms and starts ranting on a dinner about building an empire that will last a thousand years, can Chief Butler Carson restrain himself from saying, well you've got a myth, you've got some strong ideas. And also, will Lord Grantham ever be able to remember all the lyrics to Funkadelic's number one hit, One nation under a groove. It was the show continues to be dogs by allegations of editorial and aquanism. Also in the art section,

I will look at video games. John, no Grand Theft Auto out there. I imagine you spent most of the last week playing Grand Theft Auto. Sure, but I mean, I'm actually physically in LA and he's all been living that game not playing it. 170 million pound budget, apparently, Grand Theft Auto 5. So, then to believe that Michael Angelo had been alive today, he would have been programming

computer games, he would have been a painter decorator. Are you suggesting Mickey Paintbrush would shoot their drug dealers in a virtual one? I'm just saying he'd have designed a game entitled Bible One, Genesis of Doom. And it would have had a lot of people prancing around with a meetout. But that's not the point. Other games coming out, having to compete with Grandfet Auto Fide, including Janet Napolitano's Bob Sled Mayhem, unexpected departure for the former Homeland Security Secretary. Teddy Roosevelt's Beast Slayer, let's an early 20th century

hunting, hunting expedition game, described by the Gaming Magazine gratuitous gorse bladder as quote, two bloodthirsty, even by 21st century gaming standards. Bernard snout traffic warden as a cracking gamer, arguably too realistic. And the eagerly awaited fall of Empire 3, General Social Decay, can you continue the slow destruction of an empire, picking up where the hit fall of Empire series is left off, of course the first fall of Empire overreach, fall of Empire 2, cling to power. They left off fall of Empire 3, challenges you to mastermind a gradual collapse of once thriving economic powerhouse and the fracturing of an increasingly complacent amoral society. Amidst an intangible sense of unease, next year's Fall of Empire

4, total mayhem should be absolutely sensational. Your emails now, and we have an email here from Johanna in Germany who says, dear John Andy and Chris, in order of who have you need some German lessons? Well, she said that now but she hadn't already heard today's view of what that might change that order. She says, I'm very sorry to have to tell you there is no German word for teasing yourself and leckenthasen which you made up when I taste myself in Afghanistan. Mean something in German but definitely not what you thought.

Leckin is to lick, Tarzan doesn't exist, but it sounds similar to Tasson, which means Mugs. I'm pretty sure Licking Mugs would have the same effect as tasting yourself, but maybe John, you can try this, and you seem to be easily talked into something like that. Into them, he says, Germans would describe tasting itself like this. Six selbst mit anem electroshocker and gruffer iron Sounds aggressive even for German it does but that's because taking yourself is aggressive amongst the wall As he says I won't say Chris which by the way is

Chris in German, but we'll try something different Chris, for Germans, your accent sounds very sexy. That's not a compliment. That is basically accusing Chris of war crimes. What have you become? Well, you might say, this email will put you in your place, Tom. It came in from Laura in Helsinki. I'm saying, hello gentlemen, I wonder if Andy is a representative of the chosen people, things this might come a little bit late. The Finnish Amateur Athletic Association has apologised for revoking an obvious 100 metre victory from a Jewish athlete in Helsinki. In June 1938. Finally, justice.

Justice. I mean, you know, my team has, or the team that I'm a, a, a lapsed non, non subscription being member of. Yeah, I'll say, I'd say mother's half for that, if I thought you knew what that meant. We cannot, we cannot afford to spurn any sporting victory. That is, since I, I win in the 40-year triathlon from Egypt to the Fromisland. We've not, not done so well. Any manipulation of the results is shocking continues the article that Laurie sent in and goes against our fundamental values and sports. I present my sincerest apologies

to those who have suffered injustices and to their families. So I mean, you know, I guess it's an example, isn't it, don't you know, the world? You should never too late to apologize. Or that you're, if you're very slow at doing admin, like I am, you get to it, you know, 70 years too late. Yeah, but you still get it done. I want an apology for being disqualified from my school leggings school sack race 1981 because I crossed the line slightly out of my sack and I maintain that I was still enough in the sack according to IWF regulations that that result should should have stood do you think it was probably anti-semitism? And it that we say yeah, I'm gonna actually say the kid that took the gold medal in my place was was not a Jewish boy That's men up. I mean, I was about the only Jewish boy in the school

But that's not the point to quote you know There's nothing more chilling than hearing a very wealthy English voice say get back in that What is me the Jew has escaped from his sack Punish you it's I think was a radio for comedy series in the 1930s The bulletin club is Um, and we just like to wish a get-well soono, who sent us a very nice email this week, I hope all is going well. And you will.

Yeah, hang in there, Jon. So all the best from the bugle. That's it for this week. Jon, you're going to still be an LA next week. Yes, I am, yeah. Good luck at the Emmys. Thanks for what you mean on an emotional level. Good luck surviving, Matt. Thank you. I'll take it. level, the lack of surviving map.

Thank you, I'll take it. Well, you know, it doesn't necessarily mean that modern culture is just an abyss of nothingness. It gets close to making up this way of arguing with love. We'll just see if in between some of the speeches and the tears you can hear the distant echo of civilizations past asking why. I tell you, Andy, I'll throw that into my acceptance speech. Yeah, you do. If you drink heavily as well, that probably will help things. Do keep your emails coming into info at thebugelpodcast.com. Thanks again to everyone who's come to see my show. I'm hoping to tour it, hopefully around the world, not just Annie and Britain, well, we'll see. Thanks again, and check out our SoundCloud page,

slowncloud.com slash the hyphen bugle. Don't get the bugle merch and volunteer subscriptions at the buglepodcast.com and we'll be back with bugle 248. Next week, Tom, thanks, it's been great to see you. Until we're pun run, it was good to see you. Go f*** yourself yourself you're no longer welcome in this country all this podcast thanks goodbye bugleers goodbye bye John bye John Thank you.