The Bugle - Bugle 249 – America stands that little bit smaller

Episode Date: October 13, 2013

Andy and John provide more evidence for the complete collapse of the USA, discuss the end of Sachin Tendulkar, reveal that Brazil is run by clowns and psychopaths and get some passive aggressive love/abuse in an email Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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truth, righteousness, justice, personal health advice, rant and demands, African dance tips, and the good old-fashioned fear of the Lord. This is the week beginning, Monday the 14th of October 2013. I am Ian the tortoise. Sorry wrong job My name is Andy Zoltzman father to a non-merded son Anodotin good health as well husband to a very much still a life wife And I have no particular vengeance beef to grind in this life all the next currently. I'm in Bangalore The Garden City of India. I think the garden has been on sick leave during the last 20 years of rapid urbanization But still and joining me from Chicago where he's doing his new Chicago

theme show, John Oliver's chick, cargo, a hilarious romp through the seedy underworld of illegal poultry smuggling, it's John Oliver. Hello Andy, hello, Bughlers, yes, I'm a Chicago Andy, you're in Bangalore and in doing a bugle linking these places together, these two cities are now officially twin-dinned bullshit. I expect to see plaques in each place by tomorrow morning. And once again, this is a shiny example of how you can take technology so amazing and use it for something so pointless. What we're doing now is essentially the equivalent of taking a space shuttle and usually as a coffee table it completely unnecessary and it's slightly insulting to the technology involved so uh...

how do you work and because i know that the gastronomic school board currently read prorne one and his ultimate zero uh... have you have you recovered from your own personal prorne mcgadden i think you really thought that prorne was passedandee and more specifically you taught it that it was Barth. Yes, that is a pretty accurate summary of the situation, John, that prawn went through me. It went through me like Henry V8 through a wife. The prawn of Pooner incidentally, coincidentally, the title of a puppet leader installed by

the British Raj in the 1780s, I believe. So that prawn gave me a proper one-to-one churning. So, but other than that, it's been grand, and thanks to all the buglers who've been to the shows I've done in Mumbai Puna, which I was slightly incapacitated by having spent 24 hours commuting with a god I did not want to be commuting with and in Bangalore last night as we record So and just Calcutta next Friday to come on the 18th so do do come along to that if you're in the area John You're gonna be being Calcutta then? Well, you are my swing by me been Calcass or then? Oh, I'm my swing by. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP The reason for this, John, is that during his reign as Pope, he had made people fast on Saturdays three times every year, no food, no oil, no wine, and the moral of the story

is, do not stop the Italians having lunch, or wine, or oil to slick their hair back with, or you will end up extremely dead. And you're in Chicago, John, and it is 105 years to the day on Monday, since the Chicago Cubs last won the World Series. So big celebrations to mark the historic occasion, John. Oh, very much so. Any day now they're going to win a World Series, Andy. But that any day may be another 100 years in the future.

I mean, I've guessed statistically they're probably you know over half way through the gap between their World Series victory. Yeah, we're losing probability. Statistically they should win it but unfortunately statistically they are also the Chicago Cubs and that might be the bigger problem. And it will also be 10 years to the day since the Cubs fans Steve Bartman plucked the ball from his own field as grass to deny the Cubs a probable place in the World Series in 2003. So, sure, happy day in Chicago on Monday for baseball fans. On the 12th of October, which is today, as we record, in 1823, the first raincoat ever sold was sold by Charles McIntosh, its inventor in Scotland.

It was initially developed as a medical device to stop Scottish people osmosing when it rained, which they'd always done until then. In fact, in the famous Battle of Scluti Baron in 1365, which was fought in a torrential downpour. The English King Edward III described the Scottish forces as, quote, waddling into the fray like an army of giant tomatoes, so red with anger and swollen up. That's a fact. And this is Beagle 249.

And 249, of course, the reaction of Angela Merkel, when she went to Celebrity Chefs, gluten-malvain's new geologist restaurant in Berlin, which serves recipes all featuring rocks. She was offered the daily special, which included some soft, porous sedimentary rock consisting of calcium carbonate deposits, two for nine, she shouted, bring in Smedas granite, gushtnid, and anachronic wats, under them igneous moustache, gusplatch,

itch b9, hard rock, frowline. And a section in the bin, 125 years ago, on Monday, the 14th of October, 1888, the earliest surviving motion picture was shot, John, entitled Round Hay Garden Scene, filmed by the French film pioneer Louis Le Prasse near Leeds in England. It was 2.1 seconds long, John. Now, you might want to pass that on to your next director. 2.1 seconds. Can you honestly claim that the probe by a similar level of editorial ruthlessness? These 2.1 seconds involve four people walking around in a garden, two women and two men. One of the women walking backwards, two of the men walking around the woman. I think it's two seconds satirical slamming of 19th century gender politics.

Or it could possibly just be the start of something absolutely filthy before they ran out of film after 2.1 seconds before anyone could even get their tail coats off. And a number of films being specially released to mark the 125th anniversary, including three meals in a donkey sanctuary. That's a George Clooney vehicle

in which he plays the owner of Los Angeles as leading donkey sanctuary, attempting to deal with the hostility of the pure bread Donkeys against three half-donkey half-horse hybrid mules who are given to the sanctuary one day by passing Russian billionaire brutal predictive satire on species prejudice in 26th century America. The fourth man, that's the long-awaited sequel to the third man, also a film entitled Slow Motion Footage of Arnold Schwarzenegger biting the heads off swans, pretty self-explanatory and strangely compelling. That section in the bin.

Top story this week, America has gone f**king crazy. America has now I think officially gone in St Andy the i think history doctors a currently checking their watches and are officially ready to call it time of credit us twelve oh one october first kept in america and he's currently rocking back with the four to the corner of

a psychiatric ward must have something about how he believes in the helicopter what is happening here is complete madness uh... the government is still shut down for no logical reason whatsoever and Republicans are still managing to posture about like pontificating peacocks about how this clearly bad thing is actually a much more unclear good thing. But if we look

out of watching outside of Washington DC Andy, there are other stories that make a case for this being one of the more eccentric times in american history it's not just the u.s. politics which is gone nuts it's the american judicial system too in a higher this week a judge ruled that a man was the uh... a man who was declared dead after he disappeared nearly three decades ago cannot now be declared officially alive even though he's returned home and it's in good health. You heard that right, a man lost an appeal to overturn a legal

ruling that he was dead and he lost that appeal in person. I think the key question is, who the f*** was his lawyer, Andy? How do you lose that case? It's a simple thing, you're on, other defence calls to the stand, the defendant. Yes, there he is, arrest my case. Are we done here? Well, it's almost like he's an inverse one-man Republican party. He's legally dead whilst being actually alive. Whereas the Republicans are actually dead whilst being legislatively alive.

I'd take an opposite view, John. I think this is the correct decision by the courts. I think the law has to be firm on chances like this guy. The problem is you make one exception to a law. You open the floodgates. If they let this guy through, who may or may not be alive, as he claims with his moving mouth,

and his breathing body, then all of a sudden, you're gonna just have a load of corpses turning up to court saying, I'm alive too. Come on, Judd judge give me a chance one role for one another rule for another. Yeah according to the law he walked in dead and he walked out dead as well. The dead man walking in question is Donald Miller who left his family behind in debt when he ran out of them in 1986.

He was officially declared dead in 1994 and then he re-emerged back in two thousand five uh... attempting to apply for a driver's license apparently he was not entirely aware that he'd been declared dead uh... so has been trying to overturn ever since due to the fact that um... you know he's being alive but uh... the judge claims that the state law prevents any death rulings from being overturned after more than three years

judge alan davis called it a strange strange situation saying we've got the obvious here a man sitting in the courtroom here appears to be in good health he then turned to donald miller and said i don't know where that leaves you but you're still deceased as far as the law is concerned that is and absolutely amazing thing to have to say out loud in a court

well it's this kind of official in transigence that is making america the glorious nation it is today with its government basically headbutting itself as hard as possible in the face i think it's a glorious moment for america and he's ex-wife lawyer said that his clients were satisfied with the ruling well of course he's andy for America. He's out is under our higher state law a haunted house. So, don't ask any sign of this shutdown coming to an end, because it seems that America, as a nation, is being treated by its politicians like an unwanted Christmas orphan, and basically finds itself being forcibly conneveled across a now unstaffed grand canyon of political self-interest. No immediate hope, and due to things like the people involved, that's the problem. Well, I guess as the old saying goes, you can't spell Tea Party Republican without f***ing

lunatics. And they seem to be indulging in what looks from afar, and I am the far-in-indigient, and I've not been following this story too closely, because I've been quite busy and thinking about cricket and stuff. But it looks from afar like an elongated session of political, autoearotic asphyxiation, which makes it very hard for those who aren't into that kind of thing to understand, and it is fraught with needless risk. The only differences of the belt is not only tied around their own throats, but also the throats of the rest of the country

and indeed the global economy. But I guess the thing is, John, it's now reached the stage where neither side can be seen to back down, which is dangerous political territory and history shows how dangerous it is. The Titanic, not wanting to show the iceberg that it was prepared to sacrifice sailing in a straight line on principle, Joan of Arc's drunken claim to have flame retardant skin that she wouldn't go back on, and Julius Caesar's claim to be completely immune to knife wounds. To outsiders, John, I think this deadlock appears more self-serving than either A.

Roger Federer throwing hyper-intellectual English writer Will Self in the air and smashing him with a tennis racket diagonally across a tennis court. Or B. more self-serving than a mozzarella addict in an all-you-can-eat buffalo-tit themed buffet. And a fair amount of imperial-grosserch went into that joke. The Times of India addressed this issue this week with these words, What is chilling is that American politicians are willing to engage in a game of brinkmanship that is tantamount to detonating a nuclear device over their economy. A bunch of intransigent American politicians are holding not just President Obama,

but the entire world to ransom. And the Republican official response was, oh do stop, you're making us blush, it's nice to be paid compliments but we're just doing our job. So have there been any constructive suggestions for how to how to solve this crisis? John, because I've been thinking about this a lot during my downtime in India. I think you know there have been some constructive suggestions from the American people who, I think, in general, are suggesting, I'm shot the fucking government right now, I'm shot it, I'm shot it. I guess the options are 1860s on it and start a massive war with itself.

It eats some hot dogs. What's the baseball, obviously? The best suggestion I've heard is that Barak Obama and John Boner, who I know is not officially pronounced like that, but I believe it's due to be recategorised to pronounce it to Boner to express what this crisis is doing to his political plonk trumpet. They are bar a bomber and Boiner are going to have a bare knuckle slug out in a disused corn silo and idaho.

I think that's the best way to do it. And the best idea, I think John, is to learn from ancient Greece and have a sex strike, like sister to style. And these depolitions of America to be hit where it hurts by their various sexual partners with holding Humpey privileges until this crisis is resolved. Now, it's clearly not gonna be easy, things aren't as simple as they were in comic dramas and fifth century BC Athens. It's going to need a concerted effort by the wives and husbands of the senators and the congressmen, as well as their mistresses, toy boys,

concubines, assorted haring, support, arreacan rent boys, inflatable and cultured old, blow up Glenn Beck's and camera phones. But it might just work, John. It might just work. Latest news just coming in on the wires is that Vladimir Putin has just bought Alaska back for its original 1867 purchase price of $7.2 million, less 25% because there are a few of bears there than they used to be. And also on the service of bears, apparently a feral colony of yogic bears has escaped from Yellowstone Park when his rifling through bins meditating and stealing people's hats, collars and ties.

They've also outsourced Pentagon to Starbucks, who are now flying drones filled with coffee over Pakistan and bombarding people with scalding drinks. Whilst the latest prediction from the UN simulation team suggests that by 100 years today, John, the 12th of October, 2113, the entire American population will have emigrated to get job stitching luxury silk nappies for Chinese babies, apart from one Democrat and one Republican, who will be faced to face on a salt-flat in Utah,

cudgles in hands, prepared to jook it out, until one of them dies of a heart attack, and the other triumphantly shouts yes yes victory is mine I know I was right all along that is to be honest that seems like the logical endpoint to what's happening here I just even as you were describing that yeah that's probably it that's probably what we're heading listen these are tough times in America he not just financially not just politically not even just legally but now physically too because

last week it was officially announced that mountain mccainley the highest peak in North america is actually eighty three feet shorter than previous thought america is eighty three feet left all the net thought it was and that is a national disaster and the it's fucking shrunk or the initial measurement was wrong or it's wrong candy why would it have done that could it be that the tall is mounted America is now so a pool that what America's become that it's

physically retreating into the ground and shame and it incredibly slow right meaning that in ten thousand years it's just going to be a vast gaping hole for America to throw whatever's left of its hopes and dreams into. This is just terrible Andy. Mount McKinley is quintessentially American. It's like saying that it turns out that bull'd eagles have one less wing than was first thought. And the majestic icon of Americana has just been flapping around in low-villosity

circles for centuries. And look, there's only one possible response to this, Andy. If it really is 83 feet short of the previously thought, they need to build another f***ing peak onto it. America cannot afford to be seen to be weak, Andy. In fact, they should build a 300 feet tall of this time just to teach that mountain a lesson and make you think twice about shrinking again. Send a message to the world or I guess as a possible backup plan you just give Mt. McKinley to Canada.

Canada, they probably snap up that pitley little hill now that it's eight feet shorter than a majestic American icon. Well you're just thinking all this John, that as with so much of what comes out of America now, China must be laughing its collective nuts off with its part shares in Mount Everest, K2 and its 7 and a half thousand metre beauty Mount Gonga Shan. And I guess this is a good new story for the Republicans, John, because it just shows how Barack Obama is diminishing America in every way. And let's not, let's not forget Alaska, where Mount McKinley so proudly resides, became a state under

Republican President Eisenhower in 1959. It was named Mount McKinley after a Republican president, and now a Democratic president has fucking shrunk it, and it actually turns out it's partially in Kenya as well. So. I can tell you, Andy, that I'm not alone in feeling this outright, because I mentioned this story on stage as Chicago last night, and now, sooner or I said, Mount McKinley is 83 feet short of the previously thought. A man and I swear this is true, shouted out, fuck that, people are having it, Andy.

America is not that one stand because the mountain now currently stands at twenty thousand two hundred and thirty seven feet which is clearly pathetic that's like the height of when you stand on top of a chair or something it's nothing certainly not like the soaring twenty thousand three hundred and twenty

feet that it used to be which is so tall you can practically touch the heavens. It was last officially measured in 1952, so what we really need to find out is what happened. You know, did Russia somehow steal the peak? Did they take it in a daring midnight raid or just shave a foot or so off it whenever we were looking? Where's our f***ing peak Andy? The US Geological

Survey claims that the reduced height could either be the result of a more accurate measurement technology or a climate differences. Yeah, that's true. Or Andy, it could be the result of a group of Russian KGB agents who've been climbing the mountain every month, digging a bit off the top, filling their pockets with rocks, and then emptying them out of the bottom of the mountain. You give us our peak back, Ruskies. You give us our peak back. We're going to come with 90 feet off your tallest mountain, Mount Eldress. How would you like that? You wouldn't like it. Well, I guess I mean, it might actually, I mean, the fact that it was last measured in 1952

and the story's only come out now, but it's a different complexion on American foreign policy over the last six decades, John, all those wars of questionable purpose. Maybe they were just trying to steal 83 feet worth of peak from another country's mountain. Where does all of this end, Andy? If you're going to turn out that Lincoln was actually four foot two after all, and they're going to need to think down is memorial i just don't know what to believe in anymore and the point is you're right

this doesn't look good for president barma is gonna get annihilated by history over this you so we like about president jr.w. bushand he never lost eighty three foot of an american mountain top this all makes me sick. In the news now and this entire nation of well over a billion people came to us stand still this week with probably the biggest piece of news since this nation first bumped into Asia and created the Himalayas all those unforgettable years ago Because today might what is this John what could this news be has India overtaken China in the global race has

Accurbeen found an injection against poverty who knows no it was not that what it was John was the retirement of Sachin Tendulker the great cricket and that might not mean too much to our American listeners and listeners from other tragically non-cricketers countries. But Sachin Tendulkar is, it's hard to overstate the level of fame and sort of the icon that he is in India. It goes way beyond celebrity into the inner reaches of day efficacation. He's sort of like Babe Ruth crossed with Abraham Lincoln in India.

And he's announced his retirement after 24 years in the Indian team and he's gonna retire after his 200th test match for our American listeners. That's a really long game of cricket taking from reality. Five days in which you can check out from reality. Now, baseball gives you what? Three hours, that's not enough. Five days, embrace it, America. India is now in preemptive mourning for the passing of their greatest sportsmen. Admittedly, that is not the most extensive list of great sportsmen.

But it's such big news here, John, that Indian MPs reportedly stole 2.3% less money than on the average day. That was out there. Put it into perspective. And to give you some context, John, the Indian cricket team without Sachin Tendorka is like Silvio Burlusconi without his penis. I can think of no other way

of really expressing what this man means to India. He made his debut, aged 16, in November 1989. So that gives you an idea of how long he's been this massive figure in Indian public life. Basically, when he first played for India, bits of the Berlin Wall were still in pretty good shape. Those bits had had had pretty active disagreements with the fledghamers, but bits were still standing. Mr. and Mrs. Chow Chescu at that point were still planning a nice family Christmas with

each other, and it didn't quite work out that way. Nelson Mandela was still in prison in South Africa. Margaret Fattua was still in prison in Downing Street, thankfully both sentences ended up ending the following year. And Tim Berners-Lee was still a geeky dreamer with a vision that one day people using his great invention of the internet will be able to send pictures of their plinky dinks instantaneously around the world and most poignantly of all john

to give this some kind of historical context tailor swift was still one month away from being born hope the call boy so that i mean this has been i have it has made the news in america john it hasn't andy but it's it's very hard to explain to people why this matter so much to pretty much anyone else in the world other than americans it's they they they're teflon when it comes to this kind of stuff

tenor girl is from uh... mum buy and uh... where i spent a week uh... recently uh... but will know if they pay attention to last week show um... and uh... i thought i'd go and have a look around the market area uh... of south mumbye and i i got in this taxi had a bit of a language barrier uh... with the taxis river and i thought we deliberately left a language behind for everyone to talk here but um... anyway he just gabbled in coherently at me as most of the law but anyway so i uh... kind of managed to get across the marwan to go to this area called chau bazaar which is uh... a big kind of flea market selling all kinds of things out of

weeks, odd months, clothes, bootleg copies of your films and my book. Absolutely everything. So anyway, he drives me there and he points down this street and says, basically, they're there. So I walk down the street and basically all it had was motorcycles bears. Next week, more motorcycles bears, I turned the corner, motorcycles bears. Now, it's a bit late. But it's fair, this taxi driver clearly took one look at me and thought, this guy looks like the kind of guy who wants to build himself a motorcycle from scratch. I've never been read so well by a stranger, John. It was uncanny.

Uncanny. I also there saw, you see some incredible sight in India, scratch I've never been read so well by a strange job it was uncanny uncanny I also there saw you see some incredible sight in India just to bizarre things and I saw in this market there was a full car engine to which was tied a goat and I felt thought if India can ever make this experiment work they are going to dominate the world clearly there's trouble and the both uh... in america and in india where they're one cricket god down but one of the things you should do if you ever want to feel better a self

it's right to find people in a worse state than you so you can feel superior to them we tried this with the u.s congress last week and he might put out the the third of India's Congress has a criminal record. And if America and India want to feel better about themselves, they might like to look over to Brazil, where they actually have a comparable rate of congressional criminals, about 200 legislators, or a third of Brazil's Congress, are facing charges in trials overseen by a supreme federal tribunal.

This level of corruption is just one of the things that has prompted the recent riots in Brazil. And for Brazil, one of the reasons politics is such a carnival of crime is that until 2001, politicians could not even be tried without the authorisation of Congress, meaning that there was so much deference pay to elected officials by the legal system they were effectively above the law there are some truly incredible stories behind some Brazilian politicians

what was elected to congress while under investigation for murder after having an adversary killed with a chainsaw with a chainsaw and the the same and reportedly dispatched other bodies by dissolving the main asset he's not senator and the the whole serial killer uh... another president

yeah what it's it's a very fine very blurry non-existent line if you live in brazil uh... another brazilian congressman is wanted by interball after being found guilty of diverting more than ten million dollars from public road project offshore bank accounts and brazil's highest court uh... convicted another congressman of having poor female constituents who could not afford more children surgically sterilized in exchange for their vote

take about brazil by which i mean hang your fucking head in shame which is just basically a bow without the getting up again bit yeah exactly and other charges include employing slave labor on a catalyst state to ordering the kidnapping of three Roman Catholic priests as part of a land dispute in the Amazon I mean they're really raising the bar of qualification to use the word corruption. I think we might all be in much better shape than we thought we were. Well let, as Jesus himself said, let he who has never kidnapped three Catholic priests in a land dispute cast the first dog. The frustration towards traditional politicians in Brazil is now so high. The Congress includes Francisco Evarado of the air a silver a professional clown

better known as tyrannica or grumpy who is elected in two two thousand and ten to brisill's lower house with more balance in favor than any candidate in the nation's history they elected a clown and the clown the platform you ran on was also incredible his His ad said, what does the federal deputy do? I don't really know, but Vunk for me, an Altelier, and also a promise to help those in need, especially my own family. But once he actually got into office with this historic margin, he actually took it very seriously, pushing a piece of legislation allowing children whose families move frequently to receive

schooling and health care not only that but he also became one of the very few lawmakers to actually attend every single legislative session winning the best congressman award in the in the process and yet after only three years silver has now given up and is leaving office saying he's deeply frustrated by government gridlock and bureaucracy he plans to quit rather than seek a second

term in next year's election saying we work so hard every single day and nothing happens you can't get anything done here nothing gets done i'll get more done as a clown and that really is i think the profound statement on what people to take away this week and it might be the most fitting sentence possible after the event of the last four night i'll get more done as a crown your emails now this one comes in from murray in sydney who writes

there and he john and chris in order of likelihood of getting the snip uh... uh... Sydney who writes their Andy John and Chris in order of likelihood of getting the snip well oh the strong start to an email anyway yeah some context of this i recently had a verse that me writes Murray as at least one previous listener has done i decided to take my mind off my testicular disconnection by listening to the bugle oh no he cannot start becoming a habit

we're gonna get who's at some point waiting to hear the rest of the event i asked the surgeon going in if i could have had fun john and he said sure and asked what i was listening to i said a funny podcast to which the surgeon replied

is it the bugle holy shit i was a little surprised at his response right marry and he said he had about a dozen patients listen to the view of the having a second no i don't know that john john you know a market is a market you know it's true it's a niche

demographic but you know it more as well as it it's a key demo but you know it more as well as exploit it it's a key demo or a keyhole demo Murray continues on the way home I tried to distract myself and my increasingly a my increasingly aching jungle shrapters and I got to thinking a dozen represents just under five percent of the bugles ever made this surgeon said you the about eight hundred of a sector means a year a bit of googling so

that there are over half a million done each year in the UK, US, and Australia, the primary bugle markets. By my calculations, this random sample means that there is a statistical certainty that every single podcast is being listened to by at least one and probably several men under gave a second not all the growing from the google is caused by andy's pun runs oh boy well that gives this podcast a very different context and he concludes to those men currently under the knife and listening to this this broadcast let me just say take a deep breath

relax and look forward to feeling like you've been kicked in the love spots for the next few days you also have infertility. Murray. Well thank you Murray. I'm glad we can share that special time with you. It's nice to know we have some anesthetic properties as well. We also had a couple of emails in the people who listen to the bugle

whilst running marathons uh... leham robberts and steven from college station texas uh... but i'm afraid next to having your testicles surgically rearranged that just doesn't stack up on the right it does that and we have another email here from lee roe saying dear olive and andy uh... since I've begun listening to you, a lot, I've been enjoying myself very much. I feel very nostalty listening to your podcast as it reminds me a lot of part of Monty Python. I'm not even sure if you two are

even as funny as Monty Python, but like most people in the US, I just like listening to you Brit talk. That is dam they would find praise and they that is i want to see the way of the insult wrapped in the very thing velvet glove there but that i can easily imagine you to performing the men's thinking by a crocodile skit or the result of silly elections he clearly lies more people that that that that made that clear

so he goes on the side so even if you are really that fun I've had a lot more brints to talk than I have. Blow me. Some wanker hanging out in a pub, drunk off some warm abomination of a drink, could probably make up a speech and be indistinguishable from the beginning. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. blow me. Some one hanging out in a pub, John coughs some warm abomination of a drink,

could probably make up a speech and be indistinguishable from your telly and radio celebrities. Thank you and may the gods bless you. Good email, Lee Rockers. I cannot work out if you like us or hate us. And I think it might be a bit of both. both. Okay, do keep your emails coming into info at thebugelpodcast.com. Check out our SoundCloud page, SoundCloud.com slash the hyphen bugle and I've got the merch and voluntary subscriptions at thebugelpodcast.com. So we better want it down for this week. I hope it's been

a sonic experience never to be forgotten i've been on a phone in the in bangle or john's been on a phone in in chicago i think that probably makes it a unique recording in the history of broadcasting so uh... so we've got the next two weeks off uglis uh... in the build up to probably the most historic uh... event in the history of human creativity maybe even since Michelangelo finished the Sistine Chapel. Bugle issue 250. We're a quarter of the way to the thousand John. That's right. 2.5% of the way to 10,000. That's how I was

to think of it. Yeah, that's much, much significant so we'll be back we'll have subbuggles out for the next two weeks and back with bugle 250 in November thank you for listening bugleers goodbye Thank you.