The Bugle - Bugle 266 – Flip Modi Squad

Episode Date: April 11, 2014

Andy and John focus on the elections in India, at least someone in the west is. Plus, Baby King news! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dancelaguard fans, you will be thrilled to know a book is coming out if you fund it via Unbound. We are publishing the Dancelaguard Reader by Alice Fraser and Dancelaguard, a glorious insight into the world of Dancelaguard, self-published romance maven, and online bestseller. If you would like to find out how to support it, go to thebugelpodcast.com. If we get enough support, we will publish the book. That's a real thing that's going to happen. Thebugelpodcast.com to a real thing that's going to happen. TheBuglePodcast.com to support the Danciler Guard Reader. This is a podcast from TheBuglePodcast.com. Hello, Bee Eugles and welcome to issue 266 of the Bugle Audio newspaper for an unapologetically

visual world for the week beginning Monday the 14th of April 2014 with me and his ultimate the man recently voted least likely Messiah by Expectant Jew magazine which the fair cooler I can just I don't have the admin admin skills I keep falling off donkeys I can't look a crowd I get on with my dad and I don't have 12 friends and joining me from New York City is the man who's post a campaign for his new TV show my David Letterman instantly packet in after 78 years in showbiz. It's big, big, big, bloody billboard himself. John Oliver.

Scorched wall policy, Andy. That is what they're going for. I didn't, it wasn't even the strangest thing I did this weekend. I do, particularly weird thing on Monday. I had to do a charity gig for New Theater, which I was supposed to roast X-May Blumberg, which wouldn't have been that big a deal, apart from the fact that he was there, which always makes any joke a little trickier to tell when you can see the direct consequence of the joke,

kind of desperately faking a smile in front of him. And there were some options that we'd written in terms of degrees of harshness of joke. Let's say, you know, between light ribbing, heavy ribbing, and partial removal of the rib cage entirely. And there's one joke in particular I thought I'd decide whether or not to do on the fly, because I was fairly sure that in a room full of extremely rich people, it might be a little too harsh to go down to anything other than aggressive silence. The joking question was, I know that we're blue, but it's a tremendous fan of theatre.

So I'd like to show off my acting chops for a moment if I may, and then I would turn around, roughen my hair, turn back around and say, you did a fantastic job as mayor. No, the problem with that, being that one, everyone in that particular room loved him, and two, it involved looking him directly in the eye. However, the decision of whether to do or not

ended up being made for me though, because I've actually had to another joke about the controversial stop on Frisk Policy that the oversaw the New York police enact on minorities during his time in office. And that joke was, people have criticized stop on Frisk, but I truly believe it's completely random. It's just like Roulette, where you spin the wheel and the ball lands on plaque at 87% of the time. And he laughed at that so hard at it. I thought, you know what? Fuck him. Because he was wiping tears of laughter for his eyes. Despite the fact that he was literally the only person in the room who was definitely not allowed to laugh on that joke. So I then mentally decided not just to do the first joke, but to close with it and when I did,

it bombed so hard that honestly the only person laughing in the entire room was me. That was it. Still, you're a bit of fun, Ali. A bit of fun. Light roasting. Bit of fun. Some world-class graffiti though, as you mentioned, already appearing on my pokes around the city.

One, my favourite work, ambitiously, in the medium of collage, which entails ripping my face off my body and attaching it to the face of a bikini model in the next store poster, meaning that essentially my body had no head and my head had a body of massive boobs. The ball has been set pretty high. I hit the mustache, won't cut it anymore. You need to bring in other mediums to it. I'd very odd gig this week as well, in which I gave a speech at the launch dinner

for the Wisdom Cricket as Almanac, which is the annual Bible of Cricket, the most revered book in the greatest human invention ever concocted. And I had to give a speech in the long-room at Lords, basically the most famous room in Cricket, in front of some of the most famous Cricketers England ever produced. And last year... So, I had a like-o Andy. Well, the guy who did the equivalent speech last year was International Shobu's legend Michael Paylin of Monty Python fame. So it was, I guess you would say the recession hits hard.

Yeah, I mean, that is definitely, that is a trade down that is going from That is basically going from a top-end Lamborghini to an aged donkey in terms of transport but But it went reasonably well, although David Gower who was one of my favorite cricketers growing up didn't laugh quite as much as I was hoping you might but It was still as the basically as close as I will ever get to playing international cricket as doing a gig in the home of cricket in its inner sanctum. So it was it went it certainly went a lot better than it could have done. Yeah, David Garrow. Even if he did have a cover drive that just made you want to write poems.

This is Buegel 266, 266, of course the 266 were a six piece punk band in the 1970s. You never actually played a gig together because they were generally too sick due to all of them having chronic illnesses. The most ever got on stage was for, and even then one of them had to leave after one song due to a stomach virus, the 266 I believe you can still get there, there works on some websites and the 14th of April John, this is a historic anniversary in the history of words, in 1828 this is the date that Noah Webster copyrighted his first dictionary in America. So, in tribute to that, the first webster dictionary, we will be using several words that appeared in that dictionary

almost, well, it's 186 years later. So, it was the power of the man. As always, a section of Bughal is going straight in the bin. This week, with spring springing, summer on the way, Hemmisfree's permitting week, give you part one of the exclusive bugle audio picnic. BEEP!

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Oh, God! BEEP! There we go. BEEP! BEEP!

BEEP! BEEP! That story, in the bin this week. BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Top story this week. Top sorry this week, ballad bananza, India election edition. John I'm

going to have to stop you before you get into that. There's just some breaking news that's far more important than that. British baby shits itself in brand new hemisphere. Alleges New Zealand based scientist George Winter Middleton, the not-year-old professional prince, has been accused today of soiling his god-given royal nappies, south of the equator, for the first time on the New Zealand leg of his lifelong bow down before me I could have you all killed, world tour. Bill before the baby. Dr Zynzane.

Bill before the baby you sheep. Dr Zynzane, Rataputu, to for Ouch from the Auckland Institute of Science, claimed that Prince George, who's reportedly Prince to at least one thing or person every single day of his nine month long life so far, is likely to have, in her words, done some extremely unroyal business at some point during the first three days of the tour, on which his support acts include his father and mother, who work respectively as a Prince family business, and a prickly dress barn for all her nation's woes. Dr. Ratapotovsky forgot that royal babies might be magic and excrete their unusables in the form of a high-end designer perfume. But

claim that's, if not, all those cute little pictures of a happy baby playing with its future subjects and possessions are just a big stinking lie. Why don't they tell us what's really going on? Prince George of several fixed abodes did not deny the accusation directly But was overheard gurgling in Morse code words of the effect of be thankful that I'm merciful for my vengeance Would otherwise be deadly before hurling his crown across the crash and knocking a charred mind a spark out before glaring at the camera and Belching Kipish There was some terrible reporting here about the baby in New Zealand and there was And they were following the first baby play date with him, you know, the baby king basically in a room of baby peasants crawling around. And

a lot of news was made of the fact that apparently he stole one of the other baby's toys. And he did not steal that toy and because under the monarchy, under the rules of the monarchy, he merely found a toy that was already technically his. He's taking that toy back. He's entitled to that toy and that other baby can come visit that toy in the British Museum between the hours of nine and five week dates. Otherwise that baby needs to shut the f*** up. So, he's gonna get on your show as a guest.

That is the plan. Because he's not a man. He's not on many interviews yet, is he? No, I mean, if you gonna get them on your show as a guest? That's the plan. Because he's not a man... He's not on many interviews yet, is he? No, I mean, if you could get the first words of the baby king, Yep. That would be a huge scoop. First words, I don't know if Goo Goo gag accounts or if, give me all of your money, I deserve it.

That's probably what... It's probably what his blood is gonna be telling him to say. I'm power to the people. Well, I'll be it power to the people Bad people behind the baby king So anyway, I know smaller news the India's election began this week and it is so big that it's technically going to take five weeks to complete. This truly is a big deal, this election, but somehow not quite so big that there is any f***ing coverage on TV about it here whatsoever, because that would presumably interfere with the current round the clock, CNN coverage of the search for the missing plane. Did it ping Andy?

Did it ping? Everybody be quiet, I think I heard a BING! The scale of the election in India alone is staggering before you even get into the political relevance. More than 814 million Indians are eligible to vote in the polls. It is the biggest election in the history of the world. Well, biggest political election, I believe that technically more people may have voted here on whether or not a squirrel falling asleep on a chipmunk was and I quote the cutest video ever. But more people will vote in the Indian election, the vote in the last six US presidential elections combined. An America should frankly see that as a direct

challenge. This is a country whose entire belief system is based on American superiority, and they cannot let they stand. They have to find a way to get more people to vote next time. Give hamsters the vote if that's what it takes, and then frantically breed hamsters. They must respond. They must. It is a big challenge.

I mean, a five week voting period, as well split across nine stages across India's many states. Maybe America should consider that a five week vote. That could lead to a lot of TV pumice, just physically exploding on screen. We'll do it. By all build up, got too much to sustain. I mean, technically it's already an 18 month long season, but sure, we could spread out

the actual voting as well. Done. Done. long season, but sure we could spread out the actual voting as well. Done, done. A bomber described American democracy, said, in a nation of 300 million he said, democracy can be noisy, messy and complicated. I think he said that just offered to work in from a nightmare, about trying to change the diaper on a giant baby congress that simply wouldn't stop simultaneously crying, screaming, giggling, vomiting, and shitting. So, when you upscale that, John, as I believe, the technical service, to a country of 1.2 billion people, with, as you say, 800 million voters. It's not so much noisy, messy, and complicated, as being like 250 simultaneous mega-death concerts on the battlefields of Pashendale,

being attended by emotional teenage neuroscientists who've all just submitted scripts for the new matrix moving. It's, it is complicated, John. It is beyond the comprehension of any human brain. There are 15,000 candidates running from 500 political parties and yet for the first time ever in India there is a non of the above category on voting machines. So India could still end up voting for no one out of 15,000 options. And if that happens Andy,

does that not technically mean that Indie becomes British again? Isn't that the default? Non of the above, I'm reading between those lines. Hello, Sengip, put that bag over there and get me my toast. There's an old white brick Britain could get back in control. According to the 2001 census, over 70% of the Indian population lives in a total of 640,000

villages. Now, if it's anything like the villages where I grew up in in Southeast England, then there is a lively possibility that the British Tory party could win this election. I imagine Indian villages aren't quite as well to do as the villages of Kent. But you never know, John. You never know. Those 15,000 presidential candidates or candidates are expected to spend around $5 billion on campaigning, which is apparently second only to the most expensive campaigning history, $7 billion on the US presidential campaign of 2012 Andy. Yes! Number one, suck it India and that really puts the 2012 campaign into perspective, because to spend that much money on so many fewer people than living India. That really brings it home that holy shit we spent a lot of money on the election back then.

America spends more on democracy than anyone else Andy, therefore it clearly That really brings it home that holy shit we spent a lot of money on the election fact then America spends more on democracy than anyone else handy therefore it clearly loves it more the more you love something The more you spend on it that is the rule of any good absent father fact Fact and the records are still set to be broken here too So don't even think about going bigger India because Kentucky is apparently think about going bigger in India because Kentucky is apparently potentially spending a hundred million dollars on just their Senate race in the midterms this year, one hundred million dollars to become Senator of Kentucky, Kentucky, Andy. I mean, no offense Kentucky, but you know, you are Kentucky. That's, it's just Kentucky.

I'm just presenting that as a fact. A hundred million dollars for Kentucky seems like, you know, it's a lot for what is undeniably Kentucky. But as I said, trying to understand Indian politics, to me that is like trying to cook a 12-course Oatkwa Zayn dinner in someone else's kitchen in that it is very difficult from the outside and pretty confusing even if you're a top chef

and have been basically staying in the kitchen for your entire life. And obviously corruption is a huge issue in Indian politics and it's starting to affect the electoral landscape. There's not so much fingers in the till as India, as giant designer gloves made of tills. The Economist magazine claimed that in the past decade of Congress party ruling India politicians and officials are reckoned to have taken bribes worth between $4 billion and $12 billion US dollars. Now you just, you have to admire the work rate on that, John. That is, I mean India's economy has been growing, so maybe they just see it as some form of commission,

but that is, these guys are the nobby styles of political corruption. The two key candidates, the two favourites are Raoul Gandhi, a member of the Dynastic Gandhi's, but who is somehow underdog to Narendra Modi, the ex-chief minister of Gudjarat. And Modi is running on a bold campaign slogan of toilets, not temples. So he's running on a pro-toilet, not temples. So he's running on a pro toilet platform, and that is a strong platform, Andy. It works both as a positive for him

and a negative for his opponent, because he's essentially saying, my opponent wants you to shit in the street. And that is a strong attack. Or to shit in the temple, which is even stronger. Even stronger. The point is, it's brilliant campaigning. Ha, ha, ha. He uh i'm he's a very controversial

figure uh no end Ramodi to say he splits opinion there's like saying Wayne Gretzky wasn't afraid of putting on a pair of ice skates it is a considerable understatements in one article in successive sentences uh uh i read one right to say no other chief minister in in in India evokes as much hatred as an arranger of modi and no other chief minister in India evokes as much hatred as Narendra Modi. And no other chief minister in India commands as much respect as Narendra Modi. So we see the divisive nature of the man. I guess a lot of political leaders have been divisive. King Solomon in that famous baby slicing incident.

Potentially divisive. The difference being that Narendra Modi, I don't think he would necessarily wait for one of the mothers to say, please don't cut that baby in half by that time. He'd probably already be halfway through cooking two massive portions of roast half baby whilst announcing, look, I've made enough food for everyone, why is that woman crying? Is opponents say that he is an autocrat who fell to control what was a deadly anti-Muslim riot in Gujarat in 2002 where a thousand people were killed. And he has not only denied wrongdoing Andy.

He said that he's only regret from the time is that he failed to control the media well. That is not an ideal response. Just say, I should have handled the media better for that type of apologise. I don't know, short of putting blindfolds on them. I'm not exactly sure what he's employing there. He was so on the same subject because a lot of people do understandably hold us against him, but when I asked my Indian friends about it, their response has generally been a kind of hollow look of fear for the future of their countries and a swift change of subjects.

One of my friends just refers to him simply as the mass murderer, which is also a term that was used about him by the chief minister of state for Connecticut. So it's not just ordinary bit. This is fellow politicians describing him as a mass murderer. And he was quoted again in the economist magazine as saying that he regretted Muslim suffering as he would that of a puppy run over by a car. Now I guess there's, what gets his number of explanations for this? One, he really, really loves puppies. Two, he really, really hates Muslims.

Three, he is obsessive about not damaging the suspension on his car, which is understandable given the state of Indian roads We're in which Mike's in Mike's parents booking a booking making a booking with a taxi company is tantamount to making a will Or the other explanation and where his own explanation was that Hindus care about all life puppy Muslim or otherwise. I guess the difference being that he's never authorized the mass slaying of a thousand puppies But I didn't he didn't go on to say that anyway So basically many Indians trust Modi about as much as Zoe the Zebra would trust Leopold the lion if he came round to her house and said Can your little boys that come round to play with my lad Lionel?

He loves playing with other animals his age whilst slavering unstoppable with a napkin tucked into his collar and hiding a bottle of ketchup behind his back. But he does still have a massive level of support. He did a, seems to have done a reasonable job with the goodger at economy. He's relatively untainted by the corruption stick, but it is frankly a little bit terrifying that this man who basically built his career on the politics of division could soon be in charge of the world's largest democracy. I know a lot of my Indian pals are not altogether comfortable with this. In a curious twist this week after the voting had started, Modi admitted something about himself for the first time. Now I'm going to give you a multiple choice quiz, John. Can you guess which of these things he finally admitted for the first time? Was it A, that he once broke into Mahatma Gandhi's old house and drew a pair of cartoon trousers on the portrait of the great man?

Was it B, that he once travelled on a bus without a ticket? Was it C, that he has totally addicted to base? Was it D, that he is indeed an Islamophobic mass murderer and was just stringing people along for the last 12 years as a joke or E but he is married. Well I think probably I'm hoping for his sake and E it's that he's totally addicted to bass because that is a struggle that we all fight on a daily basis because we're all addicted to bass it's just some of us choose to fight it on a daily basis I'm a recovering base addict myself

Well, I'm afraid it wasn't that well, he's not said that out loud. It was he he's a he's admitted for the first time that he is married Which is odd when you compare it with Western politics where politicians generally are desperate to parade their spouses around like a walking military badge even when they spend most of their time colluding with other women other men, camera phones or fruit but it's a kind of bizarre story apparently married when young separated when almost equally young took a vow of celibacy to devote himself to politics which again is opposite to how most people in our parts of the world approach politics, which is basically just to have some improved chat-up lines. And so there is finally come out this week in his official election registration that he has a wife.

I also found a webpage listing five good points of Narendra Modi. They listed these. One, excellence or rhetorical skills. Two, charisma. Three, quick decision making ability. Four, clarity of vision. Five, strong base support. Now can anyone think of any other political leaders from history who possess those five qualities? Yes, I guess, I guess what we can infer from that is that those five good qualities could equally be described as five bad qualities Particularly if you score five out of five from those five Arts news now and Well, I'm I'm imagine John America has been Absolutely captivated by the exhibition of the artworks of the former president George

George W. Bush have you seen the pictures? I have seen them Andy and you know I've sat in front of them and I've asked myself the question I think lots of people do when they stand in front of a work of art great or otherwise and that is what the f*** f*** What the f*** Is that angular muck? What the f*** The bush has always split the critics, the paintings The basically a series of portraits of great world figures that bush found himself playing alongside

as I believe he recalls it Described by various art critics as quotes the most erotic set of world leader portraits since Queen Victoria's New D Kings calendar of 1857. Another critic said this is what Rembrandt would have done had he been alive today and had both of his arms cut off in a combine harvester racing accident. Another said these truly awful schoolboy level portraits are the best thing Mr Bush has ever done by a f***ing mile. While Donald Rumsfeld described them as the greatest cultural achievement in the pantheon

of human creativity. Bush has announced plans to paint a mural of some husky dog-splaying whiffle ball on the roof of the Senate building. But of course he's not the first leader, world leader, to have done similar portraits. In fact, we've dug through the archives and discovered have done similar portraits. In fact, we've dug through the archives and discovered this audio portrait done by British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain in the late 1930s who used to do little audio portraits of all the world leaders he encountered. Mr Hitler is a rather small man with this funny little moustache hair like a wet rat. And the most extraordinary thing about men is he has a quite ferocious six pack and abs like a fucking wildebeest. Most intimidating man, I found myself puffy in his balls.

Fascinating. That's never been broadcast before. That's been stuck in the BBC. Oh, that's a beautiful portrait. Eight decades. It's stunning. It's just stunning. It's just stunning. In other news, and a bit of a follow-up to the environment story that we covered last week, if any, you can remember it beyond the story about Napoleon's penis. Of course, there's concern about who's going to pay for all these measures that have to be taken.

And the United Nations World's Institute for the Science of the Environment's Unwisers announced the selling of naming rights for cloud formations, popular cloud types such as Sirus, Cumulone, Nimbus, Stratocumulus, Alto Stratus, Fluffy and Wooley, announced it to be branded with the names of some of the world's leading companies. Virgin, whose interest range from airline travel and consumer finance to television, mobile phones, olive oil, islands, freshly fallen snow, and the 1960s former Somerset batsman Roy Virgin, the first fully sponsored county cricketer. A reportedly interested in taking over the Sero-cumulus Stratiformis clouds, group overlord

Richard Branson explained, we see these clouds as very much in tune with the 21st century customer. They don't want something heavy, brooding and portentous. They want something nice, pretty and unthreatening. The Virgin C-ratts, as these clouds will be renamed, is the perfect cloud for today's busy young professional. I already own a collection of some of the most historic, sirochumular stratiformuses in history, the ones that were in the sky in the day of Queen Elizabeth's coronation in 1953, and some of the ones from the day the Elvis died as well. Meanwhile, Russian petroleum giant Babushko, that of course is the multi-billion-rubble oil giant owned entirely by granis, is rumoured to be considering a bid for the stormy classic cumulonimbus, but could face competition from the Russian government

itself, which is keen to be keen on buying the cloud, as a political gesture to symbolise its looming threats to the global political equilibrium. No further bullshit, your witness. Your emails now and we have one here from Barbara Mendes-Yoché from Brussels, brackets waffle capital of the world. You got their first Barbara will played. She says, did John Chris and Andy in order of perceived skills as MCs? Yes, Barbara, I think that's fair. I thought I would let you know that tonight

I'm going to the European Parliament to watch MEPs take part in a freestyle hip hop battle dueling on topics relevant to Europe. No, this is not a plot line from an as-yet-uncreated European political-sensirical comedy where the political advisers, it's a real event. MEPs are teamed up with real MCs and there are several rounds of the battle. The best thing is how transparent they are about courting the youth vote.

They say, this show aims to get young voters interested in European politics and the upcoming elections. Well, Andy, politicians in getting a rap battle is going to drive young people not just away from politics, but probably towards suicide. You watch this and you think I can't live in a world where this is a lousy one. I've found a webbing, can you? He's just an audio. I mean, the visual, believe me, is sickening enough. This is just the audio of a section of the one hour 42 minutes rap battle.

DJ. Okay, here we go. Drop your ex to me on his every one. Yeah. Yeah. This is the saddest thing I've ever seen. Don't show it to your PPC. Everybody's not a PPC. Oh, PPC shout out. This is the saddest thing I've ever seen. Oh, PPC shoutout.

Oh no. Don't try everybody knows that I work you will die Don't open the door to start solution. We need to stop all the slow at the order It has to stop I can't take it anymore democracy is dead. I think I that's what we've learnt. We've learnt from that. I think that single event might have done more to destroy political unity and consensus in Europe than two world wars could ever manage. That's sort of that's slightly unforgettable. That's sort of that's slightly unforgettable. I mean, I guess the ancient Greeks have to take some responsibility for this and obviously the hip-hop movement in America. But here's another guy, Andy. Let's see what his flow is like.

Do you plan to meet him about men and women in the equality? Oh! That was at random Oh Oh no Just for the technology By the way I'm on Twitter Oh Oh

Fuck you By the way I'm on Twitter Oh Fuck you Is there anything more revealing of that It's our event than a man in the middle of a A rat battle say by the way I'm on Twitter. What does he rhyme that with hold on? That's clear

He didn't even bother to rhyme it with Twitter, Andy. That was just a shout out. Shitter. Rhyme well spat, Chris. Thank you. I think, you know, that could... Well, we've got a potential referendum coming up on our membership of the European Union. I think they'll just play those wraps. I'm out. I mean, that'll be written basically rowing across the Atlantic. Dark days, dark days for the concept of politics.

This email came in from Christine who writes, dear, hoagie the dog, Freddy the nomen, tash the dead dog too soon, brackets in order of life, in life, I mean, it's only 16 years ago. That might not pass the way. That's an edgy joke, no, that's an edgy joke. Yeah. Not, that's unacceptable. I know from the BBC website that an article from October 2006,

hence for some reason, just become the fifth most read on the BBC website. The article says that by the year 3000, humanity was split into two subspecies, one tall handsome and intelligent, and the other 3,000 humanity was split into two subspecies, one tall handsome and intelligent and the other short, unattractive and dim. I would contend, however, that contrary to the findings of hair, doctor Oliver Curry, evolutionary theorist at the London School of Economics, and presumably a fully paid up member of the National Socialist Adoichi, Arbiter Parti. Has this has already happened in the sense that the world is split into Bughlers and non-Bughlers.

Should I alert the media, ask Christine Yorse int in Cili, she signs it. So I don't know which side Bughlers would be on. I know I'm very much split between those, when it comes to tall handsome and intelligent, I used to be a maximum of one of those, and even that is seriously fallen by the wayside. Due to an obsession with sport and an inability to concentrate. So, it's a more fun group.

The second one's the more fun group, and it's where you want to be. So, to get your emails coming in, to info at thebugelpodcast.com, don't forget to check out our soundcloud page, soundcloud.com slash the hyphen bugle. Just time to quickly re-plug my fourth coming gigs. 17th of April this Thursday, me Jeremy Hardy, Mark Steele and Joe Wells doing political animal, the other belly on London South Bank. First of May, I'm doing my cricket versus the world Show and then two more political animal dates on the 8th of May and the 11th of June. I'm doing the Edinburgh Festival 13th to the 24th of August. I'm doing my satirist for higher show at the stand. Further details

no doubt to be bombarded at you in a desperate effort to improve my ticket sales over the next few months. Just time for a quick round up of the horoscopes, labourers, capricorns, geminise and toruses may well hurt themselves if they hammer a rivet into their arms. Aries, cancers, Virgos, Pisces, Danger May Look, if you drop a toaster in the bath, and Sagittarius, Leo's, Aquarians, and Scorpioids, never give up unless things are looking on promising or you've run out of time and money. So that's it. John, so you've got two weeks to go until...

Yeah, two weeks. The big launch of the show is a vent of this or any other millennium. Yep. How's it all shaping up? It's good, Andy. It's good. Yep, not panicking at all.

It's good. It's fine. Yep. I love seeing my face plastered on buildings, and we're entirely comfortable with it, Andy. It's not weird at all. What you need to do is have it plastered all over the walls in your own flat as well, and then you get more used to it. Yeah, that's a good idea. I know I've certainly done that. I've got a 10-foot portrait of myself above my bed so when I wake up

every morning I feel special. So we may or may not have a show next week depending on various things including quite how the tension in John's voice that you probably just picked up on there is registering. So I hope we will be back next week but if not we will have a sub-bugal to keep you going over the Easter weekend and you have a fantastic Easter. I mean, it's a tough time of year for my lot. What have you got with your wanted- We lost a lot of it, yeah. That was short-term decision-making.

Justice, just a Sunday. He was killed. Bye-bye! Bye! you