The Bugle - Bugle 279 – Chills, thrills and Blatter aches

Episode Date: November 21, 2014

It's cold in Buffalo, almost as cold as the hearts of Vlad and Sepp. Plus, dick news and Norwegian Dead Guy day. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Hello, Bugleers, and welcome to Issue 279 of the Universe's Prime Source and Reliable Lies. The Bugle, I am Andy Zoltzman, and I have the paperwork to back up that claim live in London, Ditto, and joining me from the icy wastelands of America were angels fear to tread, largely because they're mostly quite old, the angels and the cold really gets to their joints. You know, 85% of all angels suffer wing arthritis once they're more than a millennium old. Anyway, it is the warming mug of satirical soup and the frozen picnic of frontline politics, it's John Oliver.

Hello Andy, hello viewers. Well, to start Andy, I did indeed come perilously close to doing this bugle from inside a 15 foot snow drift. Because on Tuesday, I was supposed to do a gig in Buffalo, which you may have seen on the news as being the recent recipient of an almost cartoonish amount of snow. I was about to leave for the airport when I heard a news report

describing Buffalo experiencing something called of snow. I was about to leave for the airport when I heard a news report describing Buffalo experiencing something called Thunder Snow. And it's never a good sign, Andy when you hear about the form of weather you were not previously aware existed. Buffalo does not get to make up its own weather front, Andy. Today is Thunder Snow, tomorrow it's lightning tornadoes with maybe a dash of quick fan fog. You know, the stupid air that sucks you into it like a vapor. You've never heard of that. You've clearly never been to Buffalo. So I had to cancel the gist, sadly, but I was then in Denver on Wednesday where I was informed of a spectacular annual celebration that I'm angry I was not a world before Andy and I think you will appreciate this. It's something called Frozen Dead Guy Day, which takes place in Colorado every March.

And if you're thinking, well, that can't be what it sounds like, then you're wrong, because that's exactly what it is. The background is, in the late 1980s, a Norwegian man brought his dead grandfather, packed in dry ice, to a town called Nedoland in Colorado. He'd incroiged technically froze his grandfather and put him in a shed where he remains to this day. And the frozen dead guy days are still already from Friday through Sunday on the first full weekend of March. They feature such community events as coffin races, a slow motion parade, and frozen dead guy look at my contest. I'm a pulled Andy that this is

not more widely known and it's not for lack of trying because the frozen dead grandpa in question is in a tough brand shed and is inspired to documentaries. The first one is called Grandpas in the Tuff Shed and then the newer version is called Grandpas is still in the Tuff Shed. If you think you well this is all very, but do they have a special ice cream flavour named after this frozen Norwegian Grandpa corpse? The answer is yes, this is made by Graffi ice cream and it's called Frozen Dead Guy and it's apparently fruit flavored blue ice cream mixed with crushed Oreo cookies and sour gummy worms.

This, Andy, is just the kind of shit that I guess you do when humans live over 5,000 feet above sea level and do not get the recommended amount of oxygen to their brain. You do great things. That's what I'm saying. That also sounds like how religions start in a kind of using modern technology. This would be a good religion, Andy. This is one you would want to take. If it involves coffin races and blue ice cream, then I think that's something everyone can get behind. Just one question on this.

Do we know why the Norwegian guy took his dead frozen grandfather to a color order? I think if you even have to ask that question, Andy, you'll never understand the answer. Right. I mean, was it an accident? Did he just leave home on his trip to Colorado and think, oh, no, I've brought Grandad's corpse with me. I'm going to have to...

I'm going to have to walk away around this. It's certainly a very bauzy way to walk through the nothing to declare like. LAUGHTER But also... I've got another liquid above a certain number of milliliters. Is it that what you wanted? What I mean, that was it?

Was it is grandpa's dying wish? I mean, that seems an odd wish for a very old Norwegian man to have. And what I want is to be. I love the whole thing. It throws up so many questions. And yet it turned up the audience mentioned it. And then I think shop and then they seemed offended by my shock.

It's been so routine to them in two decades. The fact they have a frozen Norwegian grandpa in a shit. How come? Because they've built a holiday around. The Democrats had their convention in Denver, didn't they? Was it in 2012 or I can't remember? 2009. 2008, was it that long ago? How come a bomber managed to do his entire speech without mentioning the frozen dead guy?

I think a game, it's the kind of thing that now makes you question his presidency. It's a huge thing to leave out. Yeah, I mean that's just doesn't add up, frankly. I mean, you've got us chucking a bit of local colour to these things. I've also sadly had to add to postpone a gig due to the snow in Buffalo. And that gig is in folks done in England. Where due to the snow in Buffalo, my gig next Thursday in folks. No longer, no longer be taking place. Because I think all the people who were gonna buy tickets were too worried about the snow in Buffalo to actually buy those tickets

That gig is no longer happening So you're so you're not actually fully frozen at the moment you're in anaheim I mean anaheim. I mean, Anaheim, California, where there is a 15-foot less snow than there is in Buffalo. Because it was... Although, I'm with even about two miles of Disneyland, as I'll say here now, Andy, and I think I'd rather be under 15-foot of snow than there. Having to maintain conversation with a six-foot depressed goofy. Under 15-foot of spiritual snow. Because we heard on the radio this week that at one point all 50 states were recording sub-zero

temperature somewhere in those 50 states, even Hawaii, John. Are you at a thought that the only ones that will be suffering this meteorological vengeance of the Lord would be the states that legalised gay marriage, but obviously Big Fellas going for collective responsibility this week? Well I guess they're probably a little warmer anyway, Andy, because they're about to burn in the fires of eternal hell. I guess that's probably just the thought out quickly. This is Bugle 279. course, that is the number of identical hats owned by Napoleon, who was trying to collect 360 of the hats, his trademark Napoleon hats.

So we could have one for each degree of a circle in order to tilt his hat according to his mood, the prevailing political situation, etc. Before someone pointed out that he could have just turned his original hat on his head and he stopped collecting them, 279 for those hats. And this is for the week ending Friday the 21st of November 2014, which means it is exactly 91 days since Albert Einstein, the celebrity scientist, published a paper entitled, Does the Enersher of a Body depend on its energy content? Subtitled, Should I Have Fed This Dog? Seriously,

someone should have told me to feed this dog. You know I'm a busy man. And a section of the vehicle has always going straight in the bin. The 24th of November, which is Monday. Next is the 155th anniversary of Charles Darwin, the original Chuck D, publishing the origin of species and to commemorate him laying down his evolutionary action. We are giving out for every bugler a free genetic mutation to help you evolve into an even better species than the one you currently are. Choose from a range of options, including a full 360 degree spinning waste enabling you to turn around to what's happened behind you whilst running in the opposite direction, particularly good if you are a regular stuntman in action films. Gills saved money on that costless scuba diving kit at Pogo feet.

Ensure that your evolutionary descendants always arrive where they're getting too happy with the bugle Pogo stick foot gene and a moral compass, which has never been proven to exist. This one, Accurates to within 120 degrees. That section in the bin Top story this week the Cold War Refrost itself and looking a lot it might be a little early to call this and it's still just towards the end of November And so much can still happen, but Vladimir Putin has had himself a banner year. I believe that 2014 was always supposed to be the Chinese year of the mechler-monarchal

Russian asshole, Andy. But frankly, it's lived up to the hype. Because Putin has arguably invaded Ukraine, arguably shot down a civilian plane, and inarguably hugged a koala at the G20 this week. And I'm pretty sure that those were his three new years resolutions of the start of the year. And he hit the hatchet with just a month and a half to spare. Yeah, it was quite spicy. G20, the world's other leaders lined up to tell the Kremlin cranks to the he was a cast iron cockhammer or words to that effect. David Cameron claimed he was

robust in his comments to the Russian leader. I mean, I imagine Putin was quite literally shitting himself in his still empty grave. Whilst the Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper told Putin bluntly to get out of Ukraine to which Putin responded, hang on, let me just let you up on Wikipedia. Can I, can I what? Can I dare? Can I not more like good stuff i have a lovely day it was that was an amazing encounter with Stephen half for the committee prime minister it was actually even more passionately regressive he said apparently said to put it well i guess i'll shake your hand but i have only one

thing to say to you you need to get out of your crane and that is some tough smacked or from canada Andy. Although I think it's a little telling, Canada only ever does this when they're at a summit alongside 18 other world leaders who are also angry with Russia. You put Stephen Harper alone in a room with Putin. And he's also much talking shit to him as he is, offering him a lifestyle glass mooseful of maple syrup. You know, which is not to say that something does not have to be done. Over a thousand people have been killed in eastern Ukraine since the ceasefire came into place on September the 5th.

That's 13 people killed a day in the eight weeks since a truce was declared. That is a bold interpretation of a fucking ceasefire, Andy. They really might want to work a little bit on the cease part of that equation because they've definitely got the fire bit down to a fault. Oh, well. As I was saying, one of the key images of the whole summit was Putin getting his photo taken holding a koala. And frankly, if that experience did not calm him down, there's nothing he's going to. I think it might actually have been a huge missed opportunity by Australia to bring peace to Ukraine, because if they said to Putin, which do you want, Crimea or this koala as a pet, then he's taking the koala back home when

he's giving Crimea back, because anyone in their right mind would prefer a koala as a pet than a decilot largely useless peninsula. Well, if only the native Australians had thought of that when cooking, right? Cook landed in 1770. So he ended up leaving. He was the first of the G20 leaders to leave Brisbane and told reporters that he was the first to go because he had to get back to Moscow to work and quotes needed four or five hours sleep. So he was just tired, Johnny,

was so he was poor little Vlad, was tired, I'll give it a little bit of advice to Vlad, take more than four or five hours sleep, try seven or eight, it's no wonder you're so crotchety the whole time. Take it from me, I have frankly appalling sleeping patterns, Vladimir, and I behave like a bit of a tool most of the time. And using to have significantly worse symptoms than I do, and in a job in which those

symptoms are a significantly more significant problem. It's been an amazing 2014 for Vladimir, because let us not forget, he also even hosted the Winter Olympics this year in Sochi, a Russian city that has a sub-tropical climate and is one of the only practices in the entire country where there is no snow in the wintertime. He's had a hell of a year, Andy. Putin has spent a lot of time and energy over the last 12 months, finesting Russia's relationship with the rest of the world. And by Finesthing, of course, I mean f***ing, he has been f***ing Russia's relationship

with the rest of the world. A relationship that was not unf***ed as soon as he started f***ing it. Because that relationship between Russia and the rest of the planet Andy is currently astrained as a 70 year old sprinter hamstring, for which I mean it is about to snap at any moment. Just this year there have been a tit for tat, spy expulsions, tit for tat and bastard expulsions, gas supply cutoffs and the kind of diplomatic back and forth that range from bitchy to full on war and juicing. And look, we've still got six weeks at the 2014 yet, but it is hard to know how Russia can escalate their diplomatic dick swinging any further without Putin going in front of the UN, unzipping its trousers, swinging its hips around and getting himself a rhythmic helicopter motion

going. And if you think that this might all be the media overhoping the Cold War yet again, like military industrial Don King, then consider this. A recent report by the European Leadership Network argued that Russia's highly disturbing military strategy has resulted in almost 40 dangerously close encounters with NATO forces and civilian aircraft in just eight months. That's over one a week, Anthony.

That's not good news. Now, these included the most high risk of them, included a close encounter between passenger plane taking off in Copenhagen and a Russian reconnaissance aircraft, which did not transmit its position. A collision was only avoided thanks to good visibility and the alertness of the passenger plane pilots. Joe Biden has waded in and he said it is simply not acceptable in the 21st century to for countries to attempt to redraw borders by force in Europe or anywhere, or to intervene militarily because they don't like the decisions their neighbour has made. And that is true in the 21st century.

We left that shit behind in the 20th century and the 19th and the 18th and the 17th and most centuries since Europe started existing. The G20 was hosted by Australia and their entertaining Prime Minister Tony Abbott, entertaining not necessarily in a particularly good way. And a few weeks ago, he claimed that, he said these exact words, I'm going to shirt front Mr. Putin, you bet I am. Shirt front now, this is,

I wasn't aware of the term shirt franting, I assume it's an ancient Australian mating ritual dating back to the 1970s in which dominant males resolve disputes by approaching each other whilst wearing shirts and then grinding their chests into each other until the stronger man's shirt has worn away due to friction hence shirt franting, which also explains why Australian men soften wear no shirts or an unbuttoned shirt. So it suggests that they have successfully shirt-fronted all other competing males.

So this is what Abbott was going to do. He's the leader of the opposition Australia, Bill Shorten, described Abbott's shirt front threat to Putin as a brain snap, which is very promising, John, that's the first signs of any activity in Tony Abbott's brain since he became Prime Minister. And also, as a result of this, there was another story that a convoy of heavily armed Russian warships, including at least one high-powered missile cruiser, was in international waters very close to Australia's northern coastline. Now that's, I mean, that is very much a man

responding to the leader of a country. He views as Bunetham. Tony Abbott claimed this is just part of freedom of navigation. It's nothing to worry about the fact that there was some f***ing massive Russian warships. And let's bear in mind where this is, John. These are Russian warships near Australia. There is not a lot of Russian coastline near Australia unless they're looking for that bit of the camcacup peninsula snapped off in the 1950s in a rogue nuclear test. I imagine this was a direct response to the shirt front threat, John. I mean shirt fronting versus four heavily armed warships, but that is a convincing Russian win. I mean, they were quite close to Papua New Guinea as well, but I'd imagine Putin doesn't have any particular beef to grind with Papua New Guinea or the mighty Solomon Islands.

And that nucleus standoff with mighty Vanuatu that kept Lenny Brezhnev sleepless for 600 consecutive nights in the mid 1970s, and mercifully a thing of the past. Fiefer update now and look, Buculus may well be aware of the existence of Fiefer, the governing body of global football and a dark stain on the soul of humanity. FIFA are not so much an organization as they are a misery cartel. Think of them as a private members club for some of the worst people on the planet. And yes again, like corrupt clockwork as they have disgraced themselves. Last Thursday a report was published that FIFA had ordered, which completely cleared Russia and Qatar of any

wrongdoing during the bidding process for the 2018 and 2022 World Cup. What is the price Andy that FIFA's report cleared FIFA and anyone related to FIFA from any wrongdoing? Who could possibly have seen that coming? It was truly extraordinary. Yeah, FIFA might not be a country, but it does behave like a country. I think you yourself saw at the last, oh, the 2010 World Cup. And it behaves like a country whose leaders would love to have regular military parades instead of four yearly football tournaments.

FIFA is unquestionably the king's shit in the turd bucket of sporting administrative organisations. And one of the things that helped it find itself not guilty of corruption was not publishing the vast majority of the investigation into whether or not it was guilty of corruption. And it just made even more baffling the decision to hold the world's biggest sporting event in a glorified sandpit populated largely by charlatans and slaves. It's just unbelievable this decision had no one believes this John. It is not that decision could not have been made properly, honestly, and completely without any suspicious sums of money and or massive coincidental watches changing hands. It just kind of happened.

Closing is, while FIFA, you know, extrapolating a bull-chick inclusion from a bullshit report was not in and of itself remotely surprising. The aftermath did end up being quite surprising because less than four hours later after the report was released. Michael Garcia, the man who had spent two years investigating and working on the report, criticized FIFA for mischaracterizing what he had written. He apparently delivered a 430-page report in September of this year, however, that was already a beautifully flawed system in place to process that report, because FIFA had chosen to split their ethics committee in two, like a sociopathic Solomon, with an investigation unit carried by Garcia, and then at a judicatory unit with German judge Hans-Wachim Eichert in charge.

So the system was that FIFA would commission an independent report they would own, which would then be adjudicated by a completely independent unit they also own, who would then rewrite it independently. The New York Times has described FIFA this week as exhibiting fastically shady behaviour. And the Wall Street Journal has accused Seth Blatter of running FIFA like a third world dictator, which is frankly a little insulting because he really does run FIFA like a first world champion. FIFA is a nonprofit organisation with over a billion dollars in the bank. It created its own laws and it has a headquarters in Switzerland.

It could not be any more fastically shady unless that blatter sat in a gigantic throne stroking a hairless cap. As you say, you cannot spell plainly a whitewash without year, what a pile of shite. And it's rebounded on England who've been one of the main accusers of FIFA, because in the reports, they found the English FA guilty of dodgy dealings and some allegedly corrupt activity and being accused by FIFA have been corrupt. It's like being approached by a dolphin

who comes up and blows a glass mug in your face and says, you know your problem kid, you swim too much. The fact is top level football is as dead on the inside as Lucy, the celebrity skeleton of the Australopithecus afferent species of hominid from 3.2 million years ago is dead on the outside. In fact, it's fair to say that even now, John, the old girl has a stronger ethical compass than FIFA in that she has no ethical compass at all, rather than one that points unerringly

to dodgy North. And I don't really give a shit about someone stealing Christmas, John, but I do give a shit about someone stealing the World Cup, and that they're alternatives to Christmas. You have Easter, Hanukkah, Mother's Day, and Ramadan. But the World Cup, John, is the World Cup. Is there nothing sacred anymore? BOSS IS FULL OF SHIT NEWS NOW AND A GREAT BREAK THROUGH JOHN HERE. We now have a shit-powered bus in running in Bristol.

A bus powered by human excrement is running between Bath and Bristol Airport, I think, and it was launched yesterday, the boobus, and it's great environmental fanfare. The great thing about it, John, is this bus, which is fueled, as as I said by treated sewage, is decorated with five sort of double life-size pictures of people having a shit on a toilet. And this is really laying it, the cards of its fuel on the table of its bus. And it's good to see a piece of transport being that honest, about where its fuel comes from. You wouldn't get a conventionally powered bus

that runs on normal petrol with massive pictures of deady, rocky children on it. So I mean, it's good to have this level of honesty. It's got a picture of a man sitting reading a newspaper, an old lady knitting John knitting whilst whilst doing her daily business. She looks like she is booked in for a tough one. But behind that, when knitting, I mean, I know it's nearly Christmas and she's probably got, but I mean, that is, I guess maybe this is just, I mean, I know it's nearly Christmas and she's probably got butts. I mean, that is, I guess maybe this is just, I mean, this is what happens when you get old, you start to think,

I haven't got that much time before the merciful claw of the Reaper. I'm going to have to start multitasking. Then behind that, there is a dark skinned man holding what appears to be a grenade, which I don't know what it is. I think it's possibly a mobile phone, but it does look a bit like a grenade. And then a young lady bit of our face, women don't do that kind of nonsense. And another bloke sitting reading a magazine, which could be the new scientist or could be something written by Al Qaeda,

we will never know. But this is a great moment for British transport, John. We have beaten the rest of the world. The rest of you might be able to put a lander on a comet that we can power a bus made of shit. The New Gold competition time now, and well a new competition here, not one you can win a prize with,

but this competition is, whose country is the bigger dick? And we all attempt to find which country has been the biggest dick in any given week. and the two countries, two countries for the first week of this contest. Your country, John and my country, the USA and the UK and the UK's entry this week is a local council that has told a woman she is going to lose about 15% of her housing benefit on the grounds that she has a spare room under the government's so-called bedroom tax that has penalised people having unoccupied bedrooms resulting in the queen moving out of Buckingham Palace and living in a bedside in the elephant

and castle. After it turned out she had 439 unoccupied bedrooms. What makes this case different John is that that spare room is especially fitted secure panic room to protect this one from a violent ex-partner who was my death threats against her and physically and sexually abused her. And she's now all losing benefits because of this. I mean, I think that makes Britain quite a bit of a dick this week. The US entry is a $1 million bill for a Canadian woman who gave birth prematurely in Hawaii and whose baby had to spend two months in intensive care. So, oh, the wonderful warmth of human compassion. So, John, we'll let you be the adjudicator for this first contest. Well, I know there's a two very strong pitches and it's hard to choose between

the two. Now, can you not just split that award down the middle? We need a winner, John, because it's going to operate on a challenge system. Because if you, Douglas... It's really hard to punish a panic room. That's... They really raised the dick bar. Pretty high there. I think I'm going to have to rule. The Britain was the biggest dick.

Yes, Team GB! Team GB! It's another gong. So, Bueglis, this is going to operate on a challenge system, kind of, when a stays on. So, you have to challenge Britain. You have to knock Britain off top spots. So, if you think your country has been a bigger dick

than this week's champion, email us proudly with details of your nation's behavioural blooper and see if you can not Britain off top spots. And if you're off from Britain, do submit your nomination for another example of Britain being a total dick of a nation to see if we can defend our title. Paps, you're from Tanzania, want to nominate your country for flogging off the ancestral lands of the Marseille to be used as a hunting reserve for a Dubai-based luxury hunting company to fly billionaires and royalty from the UAE over to shoot some lovely African wildlife, not with cameras either, with guns.

Maybe you're from Thailand and aren't too happy with the military. Jans, you're currently being governed by Hawaii or you're from Mexico. Whatever it is, email us to info at thebugalpodcast.com with the words in the subject box, my country tizardic. Your emails now, this one came in from Tim, John, just an FYI, right, Tim, that despite John's slightly aggressive use of the past tense last week, Dame Verilin is in fact very much still alive and presumably now out for revenge for your blatant character assassination last week, Dame Verilin is in fact very much still alive and presumably

now out for revenge for your blatant character assassination last week. What's up? Are you going to break a bastard over the back of my head? What is through is the she's a dirty fighter, I think. Yeah, keep an eye out for it. Now this email came in from Andy Rocher, a Brazilian bugler, who says he's still not over the fact that Diego cost a place for Spain. Life is full of many cruel twists. Hello, Andy, John and Chris. I came across this picture earlier this week. And as you can imagine, my head almost exploded. It is a picture, John, of Vladimir Putin and set bladder, holding a football together. And that's, it's hard to see where civilization can go from here. And

he continues, I cannot put into one email all the thoughts that came into my head, most of which included profanity. So I decided to ask you guys a few questions in order to get some clarity about my feelings here. Question one, John, what do you think is the complete opposite of this picture? I guess, I guess the complete opposite would probably be Mother Teresa and a baby holding a dove. Well, I mean, Andy offered his own answer from Brazil. He says Mother Teresa giving a football to Nelson Mandela. OK, that's nice as well. You are on the right lines. Question two. What do you think would happen if a mere mortal touched that same football that Putin and Blatter have both touched? You mean like Ghostbuster style, it's something terrible, probably, I think

two days later you'd die. Well, you're sort of on the right lines of the film scenario and you suggested it would be the same situation as happens when the Nazis opened the Lost Ark in the first Indiana Jones movie. Um, their faces would melt or something like that. Lastly, do you think that bladder and pution are planning on worshipping this ball as it represents a higher evil of sorts? It could be the ball using the Germany, the Brazil came in the World Cup and these men now believe in its evil powers. That is very much a Brazilian view on that football. So it did feel in looking at the reaction faces of the crowd during that game. It did look like they were honestly thinking they were watching something evil happen. It was like seeing a basket full of

puppies drowned in front of you. I imagine for a Brazilian football fan, seven puppies in a very short place. We have an email here from Michael regarding the merch, the new merch. Oh, says, dear John and Andy, I've seen your must have Christmas jumper, but I'm concerned that the description of the item may be inaccurate. It's described as a unisex jumper. However, I feel that describing it as a no-sex jumper might be more appropriate. Well, for start, you don't know that. You don't know it. Is it likely? Yes.

Yeah. And I think if anything, we should be selling that, Andy. That this has a excellent as a contraceptive. Well, well, we should be... Those should be adrops of these across the overpopulated regions of the world. Yes. I mean, I think would the Pope approve the Beagle jumper as a form of contraception?

Because it's not, I mean, it's, it's, you know, it's basically prompting natural abstinence through the application of questionable fashion. It might be true. This might be the only way you can convince him to get on the birth control train. Well, that's how monks work, isn't it? They're where those, those rather unflattering brown casks and they shave the tops of their heads. And, you know, that's basically what it's about, isn't it? I'm, and if you can get the Pope to walk out on the balcony in a Vatican wearing a beautiful Christmas jumper. We're going to show at least 15 Christmas jumper.

Well, you say that, John. Are you at your skepticism last week, as indeed I may have done as well. We've already sold 65 Christmas jumpers. And this is despite, I believe ridiculous, despite a website malfunction that meant some people who tried to order it in America weren't able to, but that's now we rectified. 65, don't that is the biggest selling jumper in the history of the Northern hemisphere?

Stop buying it. Now I know that you're a weird spell fake me. Jesus, nobody needs a Christmas jumper with our face is knitted into it, Andy. How many sheep does it take to make 65 bugle jumpers? Oh, I'd think about, I don't know, I think it's a hundred sheep per jumper. I mean, this is... Think about it from the sheep's point of view,

as it's being incredibly sheer, thinking, where's my wall going through? And then the sheerans think, I did not grade new, so I'm afraid. LAUGHTER I'm not sure how much sheep will. It's in that. It might be from purists acrylic from the acrylic of groves and the Amazon. Yeah, so yeah, acrylic, the acrylic sheep. I'm not sorry. I got the prototype. It's totally

unworm though. And I mean, it is very, very bad job of telling this. It does make it. I'm essentially saying don't buy it. And you're stuck with over the back. I mean, obviously it's not wool. It's some kind of bastard eyes. It might be well. I mean, it's for an advance of space wool. You know, this is it's space space wool.

Yeah, it's the kind of wool you could wear on a comet and not get cold. And yeah, I also, I guess, you know, it's got a lot going for it, that it's got R2 faces on it, which means that anyone looking at you wearing a Christmas jumper, you're probably going to have the most attractive of those three faces. I mean, that's, so that might, I guess that might counteract you earlier. I still think with our faces on that jumper, as well, he's looking at a 120% guarantee of no pregnancy. And one of our backroom staff, we call them, has a Photoshopped picture of Rehanna wearing the bugle jumper John. Did I send it to you? I can't remember.

I mean, that's, she was really shining bright like a diamond edge on, I could see what you're going on about. She always does. She always does. Well, I think she particularly does whilst wearing a bugle Christmas jumper. Matt's. Well, MEGH, she was shining like the normal amount of diamond, which did a lot. With Rihanna, it doesn't matter what, she's wearing Andy. Well, I'd disagree with you on that. I mean, I think she's at least 8% more attractive in a bugle jumper. Okay. That's a huge claim. And I think the Pope would be at least 10% more attractive. Particularly if he accessorises

it with a hat. He loves his hats. So you can get the Christmas jumper if you want it or if you want to send the send ones to a major religious leader at thebugelpodcast.com. Don't forget to check out our SoundCloud, paid SoundCloud.com slash the hyphen bugle and keep those emails coming into info at thebugelpodcast.com. My tour dates this week, as I said, folks didn't is regrettably being snowed off by the North American weather.

But I will be insured on Friday, all the shots on Saturday, this week, Saturday, the 29th of November, and then the third in Wimbledon, fourth in Ailsbury and sixth in Reading, and then the eighth in Cardiff recording my DVD. So do come along to all of those, thanks to all who have come to the shows so far.

And thanks to the six of you who had bought tickets for Folkston, I'm very sorry that there were not some more of you. Next to Lo andy. Yeah. Big, big, big. Yeah, I'm so sorry. I've been to Folkston, no, that's not true.

That's it for this week's Bugle. We will be off due to thanksgiving next week. And then we'll be back having given all our various thanks to stuff in December. Until then Buglelers, goodbye.