The Bugle - Bugle Bingo (4225b)

Episode Date: April 15, 2022

Join us on a journey through time as we revisit some all-time classic Bugles from Aprils down the years, including a live Bugle recorded in Australia with Tom Ballard and Aditi Mittal, John Oliver on torture, a bit of #crucifyBieber, and a hefty dollop of Nish Kumar and Nato Green on Greta Thunberg.Produced by Ped Hunter and Chris Skinner Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dancelaguard fans, you will be thrilled to know a book is coming out if you fund it via Unbound. We are publishing the Dancelaguard Reader by Alice Fraser and Dancelaguard, a glorious insight into the world of Dancelaguard, self-published romance maven, and online bestseller. If you would like to find out how to support it, go to thebugelpodcast.com. If we get enough support, we will publish the book. That's a real thing that's going to happen. Thebugelpodcast.com to support the Danciler Guard Reader. The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world! Spend the magic time reversing wheel and blast ourselves into the bugle past. What year should we go to? Well, let's find out 2009 top story this week. I'm not telling you what it is. Ow! Ow! Okay, I'll tell you. Just please don't ever do that again

Torture. Look, you got all the answers that you wanted, but I have lost all respect for you and I may have been radicalised. Well, that's right. We have been away for a few weeks and in this time torture has reared its unpleasantly intimidating head again. When we left to go on break, everyone seemed to have agreed that torture was something that was confined to America's extremely recent past, but that complicated situation has now somehow managed to get even complicated. First, the US government said they don't torture, then they really find what torture was and reminded us that they never did that thing they don't do. Then they admitted that they had water water but argued that it wasn't torture and besides they've only done it three times. Then

everyone else said that waterboarding was in fact torture, especially due to the fact that we executed Japanese soldiers for doing exactly that to Allied troops during the Second World War. Then there was an awkward silence. Then people stared at their shoes and someone coughed. Then in the last week or so, a number of key developments happened. First, it turns out that when they said

they'd only waterboarded three times, well they actually meant to say it was around 400 times. Now that sounds bad but let's be fair those numbers are actually very close together if you remove all the numbers between them. So I wore just the two knots on the end of the 400. That's what I was saying. So let's bear that context in mind before we judge them. And noughts and up to noughts John No one's gonna argue with that now College sheep are hammy was water-borded 183 times in one month alone

That's a lot of water-bord I don't know what your point of reference with a lot of water-bording is for me That seems like a lot Andy that and let's make this absolutely clear College sheep my habit is to put it mildly a gigantic arson. But doing anything 1803 times in one month is a lot, especially if it's something you don't like to do to people. That is that's six times a day. I'm not sure I do anything six times a day. I breathe and I swear and I'll see those two have been basically the same. They're both life-sustaining. Obama had to turn over the Bush administration ruling that waterboarding legally did not constitute torture but was in fact merely inquisitive horseplay,

I believe, is the legal definition that's ruling, of course, by the Bush regime, split world opinion into the Bush regime and the world, essentially. And this Calichet, Mohamadir, just raised the age-old quandary from moral philosophy, John. Is it worse to waterboard one person 183 times or 183 people once each? Well, you just blew my mind. I guess the logic being of waterboarding in Cali-Chape Mohamed's 183 times in a month is that if the fear of drowning didn't crack in, which it clearly didn't, the sight of his fingers going all wrinkly would have been just too much to bear.

It does really bring into question exactly how effective this supposedly effective form of information gathering is. Because also we waterboard our soldiers to help them build up an immunity to potential torture. But I doubt we do it to them 183 times. So will he not have developed an immunity during this? He's basically biologically part dolphin now, but the only dolphin in existence who is also a gigantic asshole. Well, I'm not a huge fan of Caledite Mahamijan, after all. I think he's just too much of a terrorist for my liking by quite a large distance.

But I think with torturing with water running 183 times, it's like anything, John, when it becomes a routine, the magic has to wear off. You know, after the first 10 or 12 goes, he'd probably just started thinking, oh great, a free shower. How much damage can this do? And in fact, would that make it okay

under human rights legislation? If you actually clean your terrorist aspect and washes hair with a fruit-centred shampoo whilst waterboarding him? I don't know, call Jean-Léa, I hope bothers you, buglers. And I think also must be the same for his torture as John, or as they should probably be called his physical quiz masters,

fingers on the buzzers, sorry, buzzers on the fingers. Well it's been Lardin. Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz So, that's a punishing position was more fun than this. One of the other developments was that the Obama administration this week released a memo revealing that Condoleezza Rice gave verbal permission for waterboarding to be used on Abu Superdaya in July 2002. Now, this was something that she surprisingly could not recall doing during the Senate Armed Services Committee last autumn. It must have just slipped her mind, Andy. I've forgotten literally all of the times that I've given permission for tortures to be used on their Tony's.

It's strange I remember lyrics to bad songs. I remember the Liverpool back four from 1982, Phil Neal, Alan Hanson, Mark Lawerson and Little Stevie Nichol. But I'll be damned if I can recall anything to do with authorizing torture. So, you know, I presume that I've never given permission to torture her. Paul Condoleeta probably felt the same way and she clearly did. It's really food for thought, Andy. You can be absolutely sure that you never did it then boom. Someone tells you that you did. It's chilling. Yeah, the former National Security Advisor, then Secretary of State, now of course,

managing the direction of the fast food chain, specialising in Italian snacks, topped with South American birds of prey, Condoleezas, Condor Peaches. Oh boy. But what might... She gave the CIA the green light apparently, also there was a memo from Donald Rumsfeld, who winched in this memo about why the use of stress positions like force standing could not be made more difficult for the victims.

He wrote, I stand for 8 to 10 hours a day, why is standing limited to 4 hours? Now, the amount that he stood first he suggests that even his chair thought he was a total dick. But it's interesting, it's getting off me, Donald. It is interesting, though, that Rumsfeldt viewed being forced to behave more like Donald Rumsfeldt as a form of torture. He showed an unexpected level of self-awareness. And today, Khaled Shake, you're going to have to fail to make adequate long-term military plans on the strategically incompetent for 24 hours straight.

Confess! Confess! Now, the other argument here is what if it does work? Former CIA director Hayden and Bush's only general general McKayze, as well as professional Dick Cheney, Dick Cheney, argued that in essence torture does work and that it helped prevent Cullid's Shake My Hamid from attacking the library tower in LA. Now this is a very nice story, except for the fact that this plot was foiled in 2002 and Cullid's Shake My Hamid wasn't captured until 2003. But those numbers don't seem to add up. And anyway, whether it works or not, you're

still not supposed to do it. Slapping someone in the face with an uncooked German sausage is a surefire way to make sure that they remember you. That doesn't mean that it's a good idea. Chef Smith, one of Fox News anchors, got so frustrated about this argument that he had a very admirable midday meltdown saying, and I quote, we are America, we don't torture. I don't give a rat's ass if it helps. We're America, we do not f**king torture. Then there was a magnificent pause

and you could hear him say, oops. Ha ha ha. And now we'll have it with Cindy. If you have a Fox News employee, that angry about your national security behavior, you are way over the line. He is the canary in the cold mind who isn't dead but who's just going, Batchit crazy on his perch, the sweary canary.

2011. Middle East update, the forgotten countries and the internet has been dominated by Libya all this week due to the fact that we as NATO have been trying to bomb some freedom into it and it's been all Gaddafi said this, Gaddafi said that, Gaddafi did this to his civilian population with that and it's all definitely newsworthy. No one's denying that. It's just that there are other countries in the Middle East and we're not giving our physical or indeed mental attention to. They're also deserving of being discussed. What about the plucky countries that no one's really talking about? The forgotten Middle East, if you will. Your Israel's,

your Sirius, your United Arab Emirates's. What are those crazy little bastards up to? Well, let's take a look. Israel, Jews news. Israel is currently spending its days shitting itself at the moment over the situation all around it, which is not very different from how it's been spending its last half a century.

But there was even more instability than usual coming out of the, oh come on you promised land this week. Just in Bieber, the floppy head asexual objective affection for teenage girls around the world was visiting Israel this week and unwittingly stumbled into something of a diplomatic snafu. He was scheduled to have a meeting with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, but it was called off for the last minute with both sides differing on why. Now, before we delve much further into this story, Andy, let's not gloss over what's a very important fact. Let's not bury the lead here, which is that before it was cancelled. Benjamin Netanyahu was scheduled to have a meeting with Justin

Bieber. We all live in a world where that nearly happened. Benjamin Netanyahu, Prime Minister of Israel, very nearly had a meeting with Justin Bieber, 17-year-old singer boy. Is this how far from a peace agreement we now are? We're just throwing Bieber at the wall. Hoping he sticks. Well, I mean, it's not, uh, it's not, I mean, that's not so new, is it? I mean, that's not, forget the gold or mere had a meeting with Donnie Osmond in the early 70s.

To be fair to him, Johnny, he's not the first young heartthrob in the Holy Land to endure a mixture of public adulation and official interference. But it's just hopefully as a more effective legal team than some of his more illustrious predecessors. Well, sir, I don't know much about Justin Bieber, Johnny. He's just a name to me. Well, I have to look him up on WikiPede, you're famous for hits such as baby and the follow up single

toddler. And if you play his hit single baby backwards, it quite explicitly touch states that Justin Bieber will only date committed and certifiable Zionists, but he has a tattoo of aerial saron on his back and that he thinks Israel should extend their settlement program into other areas including Jordan, Turkey and Iowa, although whether he knew that when he was singing it or if he was just stitched up by my people who, of course, run the entire entertainment industry, we don't know. We've got a stitched up job. As proof by my unending run of success in prime time British television. You are a one-man argument against anti-Semitism, Andy. A spokesman for Benjamin Nuttanyahu said that he'd been approached with the idea of

a meeting, and that the Prime Minister had been, I quote, open to that. See, straight away, that is surprising, Andy. I'd have thought that if someone asked the Prime Minister of a major country located in one of the most violent flashpoints on the planet, whether he wanted to meet Justin Bieber, he would be closed to that. Or the very least, his instinctive question would be, why? Why exactly would I do that? I have a lot to do with my day. Apparently, the Prime Minister's office suggested, including children from communities in southern Israel, that have been under intense rocket fire from Garza in recent days. But the spokesman said that proved impossible because Bieber's representatives had turned down the idea of including the children. Wow. So the special Bieber summit was scuppered

over the situation in Garza. I guess that is a much of a surprise Andy when you think about it so many of Justin Bieber's lyrics are based around the current affairs in Gaza and the West Bank. You've talked about what it's like when you play it backwards. Never mind that Andy. Look what it's like when you play it forwards. Look at that hit baby. If you just imagine that the subject of the song is Gaza and the Palestinian territories, it's clearly a song trying to win that land back. Here's how it goes. You know you love me. I know you care, just shout whenever and I'll be there. You are my love, you are my heart and we will never, ever, ever be apart. That clearly speaks to the determination of hard-line Israelis,

complete refusal to agree to a two-state solution. Bebe, Bebe doesn't stop there Andy. He goes on saying, are we an item? Go substitute that for Garza, quit playing. We're just friends. What are you saying? Said there's another and looks right in the eyes. My first love broke my heart for the first time. Now, that's a little poetic license from Beaver there Andy. I don't think he's suggesting by any means that this is the first time the Jewish people in their history have had their hearts broken But he continues saying I was like baby baby baby. Oh, I thought you'd always be mine mine Why did he think that Andy? Why was he so sure because the land was promised to Moses Andy That's what B. Bieber cannot get his head around

in the plaintiff chorus of that song. It's all there, it's all there. In another Twitter message, Bieber wrote, I want to see this country and all the places I've dreamed of, and whether it's the PAPS or being pulled into politics, it's been frustrating. And he was quoting there directly from George W. Bush on a visit to Iraq in 2003. And Bieber might have a postgraduate diploma in brushing his hair,

but he could not punctuate his way out of a wet paper bag, John. There was a frankly distressing lack of commas, not to mention the apostrophes that should be there I mean he's at least he's three apostrophes down it's uh absolute fucking disgrace I I was fucking nail him up if I had that job this just well there's a hashtag for Twitter There's a hashtag for Twitter. Ha ha! LAUGHTER

BUZZER BUZZER 2018. The Windrush story has been quite spectacular. And we've basically been trying to send people back to the West Indies, who arrived in Britain sort of between 1948 and 1970. And I think it was all part of the subtext of the Brexit vote, that we have this very vaguely worded referendum, yw'n 1948 i'n 1970. Mae'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwyr i'n gydwch yn ymwch yn ymwyr i'n glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r glawi'r g not just for years, not even for decades, but for several decades. LAUGHTER

And despite being in the UK legally, we've threatened them with deportation, we've denied them access to health service treatment, benefits and pensions and stripped them of their jobs. And there is no final way to apologise for the injustices of empire that we perpetrated on other people than by treating them like total shit. No, it's some strange time for Britain. I believe there's some indigenous Australians who are trying to get something going

with the first fleet generation as well. Sorry mate, you don't have the paperwork, move on. You can't just yell tyrannolias at my face. Move on, buddy. Keep on heading out. I love how Britain just thinks they can send people back, like it's food at a restaurant, just saying, I'm full, we've got to send her back there.

That's not good. We are far more tolerant of food in restaurants. As you see, like, kind of shit we eat. Tom, Tom, Tom, Scottish restaurants. I mean, I mean, basically you could have a murder scene on a plate and people would just lap it up. No, no, no, no, no, right. It needs to be deep fried first. Deep, deep fried murder scene or is it's also known?

Hages. Oh yeah, I've room little, uh, Scotland food show. Uh, Aditi, of course, uh, as an, as an Indian, um, you have been, you, the lucky recipients of the wisdom of Empire over. I'm still waiting for the thank you card, but let's go. I think one of my favourite things about being a part of the Commonwealth was that our wealth was yours and your wealth was yours. Just looking it after for you. Although, you know, I have to say, I think that this, it's almost like the douchebaggery is like, it's generational, because now it's, as an Indian, I don't think I can move anywhere in England without someone very well-meaning, very well-intentioned being like, oh my God, you're from India, but you're English, you're really good.

When did you learn? And I'm like, how do you not know this? You shove the language down our throat, but you wonder, you're like, I'm like, this is this a thing that the British culture, in general, has such a short collective, like a collective, shorter memory, so tiny, that halfway through colonization, they forgot why. Like, they were like, why are we making our slaves? Come on, what's the taxing money coming from?

And that's when we spread cricket to everyone. Just to make sense of the whole shabozle. So, um... Do I have to say this? I think one of my favourite drawbacks of colonialism has been the fact that your shopped the language down our throat. So now, whenever someone's racially abusing us,

we know exactly what they're saying. LAUGHTER But the thing is, they never know what we're saying. That's what I did stand up in India. And a lot of Indian stand-ups do setups in English and punchlines in Hindi. And it did feel like it was a deliberate code. I'm going to be talking about you the entire time.

It's your first time in Australia, isn't it? That's right. And what have you been here just a few days? What have you made? This is my 56th day in Australia. I've tried to kiss a koala with consent. The best way. The only way. You know, tons, I was under the impression that their breath would be a lot more losingy because of all the life.

I'm all the nucleophysiating or whatever. No! No, it's called chlamydia and I'm gonna have to get tested after this soul. You can kiss a koala on the cheek. It doesn't have to be fully on the lips, I don't know. Go on, tell you that. You don't know how to love like an Indian accent. LAUGHTER I think my wife said that in her wedding spirit.

LAUGHTER Can I use that as a show title someday? Tom, you've been an Australia for what 28 years now? 28 years, yeah. What have you made of it? I'm on the fence. I've tried a Kisakawa and the people talk funny. It's weird, but that's all right, I'll do.

We've been demanding proof of residency from some of these, suppose it, let's call them what they are, British people. But demanding proof of residency for every single year of, for example, the 1960s, which is just a kind of basic paperwork that the ordinary British person keeps stapled to their rib cage. Because you don't know when you're going to need to prove your identity from the 60s, you know, when the FBI are going to turn up at your door and demand to know exactly where you were on the 22nd of November 1963

So they can rule you out of there inquiries into the Kennedy assassination Well, I think it's only Lincoln left, isn't it? I've got a good Lincoln joke in somewhere right? Hey Andy, if you've got paperwork from the 60s, you weren't there, man Hey Andy, if you've got paperwork from the 60s, you weren't there, man. LAUGHTER Um, the problem is, the proof that people had of their arrival in Britain, their landing cards on the initial journey, were treated like the logistically important and historically irreplaceable documents they are,

if and only if you leave your historically irreplaceable documents in the care of Islamic State, who don't seem to have a huge affection for stuff from Eerid's gone by, or a museum director who just hates his job and wants to destroy all physical elements of human existence. I basically threw them away. Now, I'm not a technical expert, as I believe I've proved during this show.

I think it's actually a bit strange to me that they're so insistent on paper, paper, work, considering half the communication that happens in the British public is apparently through a bus. Ah, yes. Have you? Like, in this story itself, right, there was that... There we go. Oh, that's it. Oh, there's the headline.

Whoops. I thought we should have done that at the start, and I... There we go. I mean, that took me a long time last night. Oh, well, you know. There we go. So, here we are. This is one of the vehicles that... To reason, when she was home secretary in 2013, there we go. Has she heard of the internet? Is that...

All the young kids are not on the internet now. They are looking out of windows spotting vans. That's the big hobby now. It's the events for the dealers and home. It says, in the UK, legally, go home or face a rest. And there's a story this week that apparently Theresa May intervened to make the language more intense, like to either strengthen it up, toughen up a little bit.

Originally, it's a British science. I originally just said, excuse me, terribly sorry about all this. Would you mind perhaps considering returning to a place of origin at your earliest convenience, what, what, and just a picture? Just a picture of a crumpert. It made no sense at all. So I'm glad that she got involved in sort of clarified what you've done. So with a traffic in London, I mean, that's... That is really only going to reach about eight people at a

party. The true meaning, in case you're wondering about the subject of Go Home or Face to Rest, is this the subject of it now? Here it is. You're making me homesick. Classic British double bird. 2019. Top story this week. The environment is being saved. Great news here. Britain has been visited by the 16-year-old Swedish climate activists,

Greta Thunberg, who has basically made our politicians aware that the planet is extraordinary action. She was the goal of kicked off this wave of school climate protests that we've talked about before on the bugle and it's extraordinary seeing the reaction of our politicians. She addressed a parliamentary committee, and politicians have been lining up to thank her for finally telling us that we did need to do something about it. And it does raise the question, why were we not told before about climate change?

Why did this one 16-year-old get frivolous access to this secret information that even our senior political leaders were not aware of?'s one of the great scandals of British politics She's been much criticized by the the right-wing commentary at in this country by the sort of people who describe themselves as being classical liberals Which is a phrase that means I'm liberal but before the abolition of slavery And it's good to see that the venn diagram between people who don't believe in the science on climate change add the people who are willing to publicly bully a child is in fact a circle.

Ha ha ha ha. She attracted criticism from Brendan O'Neill, who's a writer from Spite Magazine, who said she looked like a cult member with her monotone voice and look of apocalyptic dread in her eyes. Spite Magazine is a magazine that apparently promotes free speech. So let me use some of my free speech to tell Brendan O'Neal to go jump up his own

ass and die. And she's also been criticized by parrots. She's all aware of switching his episode off. And we know he's a fan. He's also been criticized by Toby Young. Now, they don't give you some context. Toby Young is the Lord Voldemort of rich white male privilege. In that every time he thinks he's done, he comes back and he seems to plan to spend a lot of time being angry with a child. Lord Voldemort is the most evil

wizard in the world and his big plan was to kill a baby. King hell, Voldemort. Anyway, what are we talking about? Plan is something like that. Reading about Brendan O'Neil, it's hard to take a grown man seriously, but basically his argument is that a girl made him feel bad by mentioning science. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER

Brendan, I'll write this in his article. Anyone who doubts that the green movement is morphing into a millionarian cult, to think as a cult the West, particularly nicely made a house. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Should take a close look at Gretchenburg. As you say, increasing looks and sounds

like a cult member with a monotone voice. That is just all teenage friends. All teenage, and obviously, I mean, it's not necessarily a cult, you might just have a dream of working as an announcer at a train station. The look of apocalyptic dread in her eyes, the explicit talk of the coming great fire that will punish us for our eco-sins. He highlighted this, and I guess that shows at these days,

there is a fine line, a fine and evidently hard to discern line between deranged member of a cult and someone who's vaguely up to speak on his side. Spike Twakesee were in trouble a couple of months ago when it was revealed that they'd actually received some of money from the Koch brothers, NATO, your fellow countrymen, of course. And what that basically means is there are a bunch of f**ks. LAUGHTER Sir, nicely translated into that modern colloquial English. Um, also, to be honest, I've actually this supposed look of a poccaliptic dread in her eyes. Presumably, that's because she knows that by saying anything,

people like Brendan O'Neill will write articles about her. And also, to be absolutely fair to her, if she is looking at climate change science, she is looking at the apocalypse. If I meet anyone under the age of 21 who does not have a rocket apocalypse with Brendan O'Neill, I think they are off their rocker. This is not a tool of order cult.

A sinister cult that threatens to preserve our plan and everything we hold to terrifying, truly weirdly terrifying. But surely, guys, one of the prime defining features of cults, they tend not to be supported by thousands and thousands of peer-reviewed scientific papers. Yeah, this is very few scientists that backed up the bag one from Wild World Country. Of all the things for teenagers to lecture us about, the scientific evidence about the

threats the climate seemed like, I would prefer that. I don't know if you've ever tried to listen to a teenager talk at length about how we don't really appreciate Nietzsche enough, but I'll take client science over that any day. It's her visit here has been the sort of cresting of a wave of the last couple of weeks that's included a mass protest by Extension Rebellion, a large group of young people. Sorry, I mean us. I'm a cool young guy.

Sorry, grandad, I'm about to scrylex a dumbstep all over this Snapchat. Wiki-w Wiki, while, while, west. It's been a lot of scrylex reference. I'm just Google, Google, Snapchat wiki wiki while while west It's been a lot of screlex reference Just Google is for work. I'm the only one paying you for product placement. Yeah Extitural rebellion is a group that describes itself as a movement that uses non-violent civil disobedience to bring issues on climate change to the For are they say they want radical change to minimise the risk of human extinction

and ecological collapse. I saw self-interesting. Well, to that I say, get back to San Francisco in 1967. You're f***ing hippies. Minimize the risk of human extinction. Well, let's light up a doobie and sing some Dylan Ronda Kangfire. You're stinking beatnik.

Pfft. Jesus. I saw a headline in the independent that said, Extinction Rebellion, Climate Change Protesters glue themselves to the London Stock Exchange, which I understood to mean naked climate change protesters glue their own clothes to the London Stock Exchange. That's quite a good way of protesting, didn't you? To glue yourself. To glue yourself, to say so. I've always said there is no more potent protest than anything that involves the exposing of a penis and testicles.

There is nothing anyone wants to see less than a hippie's bullsat. And that was... What was that from the news? LAUGHTER We didn't miss Easter law. LAUGHTER That was actually a quote of what are the fairos when he insisted Jesus Papa loincloth on while he was up on the crucifix.

The fairos came to that. Oh the fairos! Sorry, listen, I'm a little behind of my Bible studies. Fair enough, you're an even worse Jew than me. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Anyway, I guess Jesus will, he probably would have glued himself, had the technology been there instead of obviously nails with the option to break it. To my point. God, or all kind of help. We are, don't worry, we are.

And I mean, if you think climate change is bad here, wait, wait, you'll see what is going on there. Why above pre-industrial level? That is it for this week, and do download this week's Gargle and indeed all previous episodes from your usual podcast placings. We will be back next week with Bugle 4,226 assuming there is still anything in the world worth talking about. There might not be, it might all be fixed.

You never know, until then, goodbye. You can listen to other programs from the Bugle, including the Bugle, the Last Post, Tiny Revolutions, and the Gargle, wherever you find your podcasts.