The Bugle - Economic Armageddon Approacheth

Episode Date: September 28, 2008

The 46th ever Bugle podcast, from 2008. Written and presented by Andy Zaltzman and John OliverThis is a classic episode from The Bugle, to support us, and to keep the Bugle alive and free of ads, please visit http://thebuglepodcast.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dancelaguard fans, you will be thrilled to know a book is coming out if you fund it via Unbound. We are publishing the Dancelaguard Reader by Alice Fraser and Dancelaguard, a glorious insight into the world of Dancelaguard, self-published romance maven, and online bestseller. If you would like to find out how to support it, go to thebugelpodcast.com. If we get enough support, we will publish the book. That's a real thing that's going to happen. Thebugelpodcast.com to support the Danciler Guard Reader. A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A- Audio newspaper for a visual world. Hello Hope Uglers and welcome to issue 46 of the world's greatest and only audio newspaper for a visual world. For the week getting Monday 29th of September 2008, with me Addy Zotsman in London.

And in New York City, it's Emmy Award loser John Oliver. Hello, Viewglues and f*** you, I mean. Have you recovered from ashamed yet, John? No, that that shame lives with you, I mean that's as stench that things. When you fly next into Britain I do hope you're met by an angry mob at Heathrow Airport pelting you with tomatoes. Yeah, you let us down. I did indeed go to the Emmys, which were, as I expected, and I believe as I may have even said, a three hour exercise in self-satisfactionous smugness. Even Oprah and the, even Oprah let herself down.

She's essentially queen of the United States. Pretty much the queen of hearts as well. She inherited that title from Diana, who gave it to her on her deathbed. The point is, even Oprah in an opening speech, which in hindsight was very much like the opening speech delivered on that Titanic, said, it's been a difficult year for television and also a difficult year for the world, not in that order, Oprah, not in that order. And this is the first time in what a long time that it did London, New York

Combination has been back together. This is like it could be over a month It's like your retro. Yeah, because I was in Edinburgh So it might it might be July that was a last on this Yeah, wow, God just feels right in it just feel right. It feels just right. We're both where we belong You are no longer welcoming this country We're both where we belong. You are no longer welcome in this country. As always, some sections of the Google are going straight in the bin. This week, a home gadgetry section. We profile the gadgets set to revolutionize domestic life in October 2008. And the gadgets featured include the automatic cutlery selector. Simply type in

the dish you're about to eat and the cutlery selector will advise you what you tentals you need. Endorse by the former German tennis star Angahuba, the former world number 4, who were said, never again will I slice my bottom lip off whilst trying to eat a soup. Also features the portable personal Woodfire Rucksack. Enjoy the warming comforts of a genuine log fire as the winter approaches and save unwaisted energy with this wood burning backpack. Simply strap the fireplace onto your back and wherever you go in the house you'll be snudder warm, includes free emergency burn treatment kits, endorsed by hypothetical bugle fan David Swimmer. No more chilly walks to the kitchen for me

last the 41 year old former actor. I back this all the way, it's flaming brilliant. And also featured is the John Oliver autographed bonsai dog trimmer, as used by daily shows tar and renowned jokes with John Oliver. Keep larger breeds of pooch down to a manageable household size. What? Hold on a second. What are you doing, Andy? Just had a work with our manager, you know. He thought it would be good for your profile. With the Bonsai Dog Trimmer, you can keep larger breeds of pooch down to a manageable household size with this electronic leg tail and snout shorten up.

With replacement blades, canine friendly antiseptic swabs and bandages, and a genuine limited addition John Oliver and Dors miniature poopsgoop to keep your neighbourhood clean. I'm John Oliver, you can't afford not to have this item. Sell out, you don't even like dogs. Top story this week, Armageddon News, and well, long story short, it's going pretty well. Closer and closer to mankind's implosion, we'll get there people with the new dinosaurs. In fact, I think the scientists may want to have another look at how the dinosaurs became extinct. Are they sure it was an asteroid and not a bunch of greedy diplodocus short-selling shares in leaves and screwing everything up?

Because the way this last month has gone, that seems a lot more plausible. When we left you last time, the government was preparing a $700 billion dollar bailout of Wall Street, and that seemed like a great terrible idea at the time. So what has happened since then? Well, first, Washington Mutual collapsed on Thursday night. As a CNN correspondent said just this morning, the biggest bank collapse in the history of the US, the history of the world, and the history of the pre-world. There were some pretty big banks in the pre-world, Andy, or at least we can't be entirely sure that there weren't. Some people do think the universe began with the big bank. Check it out, please do this yourself, you stand by that do you?

Secondly, John McCain inexplicably decided that the situation was so serious that he would suspend his campaign, which took everyone by surprise due to the fact that it was the decision process of a man who has completely lost his mind. Either that, or maybe it was an incredibly crass piece of gamesmanship because he was essentially saying, I'm going to rise above petty parties and politics and I'm going to do it much better than my opponent. So now they're trying to outposter each other in terms of leadership. Each candidate is now whipping out their presidential penis and slapping it on the table in front of them saying, this is what I've got on day one, show the American public yours. Let the people inside whose penis they want carved into Mount Rushmore.

I can't quite decide, John, if I think McCain is being careful or reckless, whether he's being bold or cowardly. And I guess this is either the action that you want of a president or not the action you want of a president. That very most depends on how you view it, which presumably depends on how you view American politics, which in itself depends on how your grandfather views American politics. That is great punditry, I'm a thanks more than. McCain eventually made it back to Washington on Thursday morning, but about an hour after he landed, it was announced that a deal had all but been done, at which point he started

moonwalking around the capital in triumph, screaming, that cannot just have been a coincidence, I, John McCain, American hero, have saved the dollar from itself. So he went over to the meeting, reportedly sat virtually silent the entire time, and the deal very promptly fell apart. After that, the victory moonwalk came into something closer to a shame shuffle. And so as we record now, the deal is off again, and banks are on the precipice, and Andy McCain is right. This is not the time to be recording an episode of the bugle. We need to concentrate all our efforts on solving this problem,

even though we, like him, are not on any of the finance committee set up to deal with this. That's not the point. This Bugle will now take an impromptu 15-second suspension to make any other podcast continuing to broadcast look bad. The suspension begins now. Okay Andy, that should have showed the world that we carried off. Let's get back to it. And Bush did his best to threaten Congress into passing the bill this week

by delivering an emergency address to the nation for the first time since 2002 when he told everyone about what a great idea the Iraq war would be. And now, like then, he concentrated on terrifying people into thinking that not backing him would be disastrous. Crying wolf at the wolf that he himself had placed outside. He yet again said, now is not the time to play the blame game. When is going to be the time to play that game? Because I'm really looking forward to a little round. I tell you why Bush hates the blame game so much because he loses it all with He prefers connect for it tends not to end with everyone pointing out how much they hate him quite as much.

I don't know, you've not played connect for with him John. I've played with Rumsfeld once and things are a little bit ugly. But I guess the blame game for George W. Bush will run pretty much from January the 21st 2009 until the end of time. So I guess there's no need to rush into it. Now I think that's his point. You know we can all just wait until January the 21st and then just you know go for it. As he walked up to the podium and looked into the camera, my blood suddenly ran cold, Andy, as I realised that whenever this president looks directly into the lens, something terrible is about to happen. He began saying, I know many Americans have questions tonight, and

he was right there, Andy. Chief amongst them was what the f***? George WTF Bush and the speech turned out to be mainly a series of threats. He started sounding like a bad gangster. Hello America, lovely home you've got here. Shame if something happened to it. Sat in danger as well. 700 billion should keep you safe and seen. It's interesting, 700 billion, John, is almost the exact cost so far of the Iraq war. It's almost that Bush has got something about things costing 700 billion dollars.

You just can't shake. Well actually that very point was pointed out to Secretary Paulson and he said, yeah, but the Iraq war was expenditures. This is purchasing assets, holding assets, reselling assets with money coming back into the treasury. And he's right, Andy, that's not like Iraq. That was in every sense an impulse buy. That was like buying a 20 foot porcelain swan.

We really thought we wanted that swan, but now we can't get rid of it. It does seem clear that President Bush has virtually no power whatsoever. In Washington the moment, and I don't trust anyone connected to this administration. They're asking for $700 billion just weeks before leaving office. Is it suspicious that they're asking for it all in 20s? I'll tell you, come January the 21st, they're loading all the money into the back of a truck and heading for Mexico. The Prime Minister resignation news now and Gordon Brown has not resigned following the party

conference in Manchester this week. His premiership is now slightly less dead in the water than it was this time last week. In fact, he even almost managed a convincing smile, so the whole thing went pretty much as well as could be hoped. And the most ear-catching thing that Gordon Brown said, John, was when he said that in these difficult times it was no time for a novice, a dig simultaneously at the conservative leadership and at his rivals within his own party. But I would like to take issue with Gordon Brown over this, because I think in many ways this is time for a novice, because

people who aren't novices have got the world into this mess. The novice might at least come with some fresh ideas. And I guess this is a bit like being told by a surgeon in the middle of some botched surgery that really your best hope of surviving the mess that that surgeon has made is for the same surgeon to sort it out. And when you ask whether the surgery really needed to happen in the first place because you had an ask for it and you were quite happy with the two legs you had before the operation and you really think that three legs is being greedy in terms of legs and you're now quite cross with the surgeon for what he's doing. The surgeon

then pulls his mask back over his face and then it's ringing, ringing, ringing, chaining sword time. I mean I didn't see much of the Labour Party conference handy due to the fact that America was destroying itself this week. Was it as success, as much of a success as a dead man walking could be? Virtually any party conference peaches viewed as a success in the immediate aftermath of it happening. Before people turned to the outside world and realised that no one gives a flying f*** about it. But Brown has painted himself as a serious man for serious times.

And I get, I think this is an error because I think if anything serious times Needs someone to lie in the mood of it and I think we're in Britain could do with a frivolous man in charge of the country at this difficult time And what about his inevitable defeat Andy? Is that just slightly inevitable defeat or a very inevitable defeat? I think maybe it's slightly less inevitable than it once was the that inevitability has decreased I mean it's still inevitable, but you know, it's actually inevitable. Lot of death. You know, after you've had a salad.

Nicely put, thanks. Every time I hear a salad from now on, I'm going to think about the inevitability of death. Yeah. UN Roundup now, and the UN General Assembly has been in session, which to most of the city that I'm in at the moment means bad traffic. But it usually also means Hugo Chavez doing his US baiting stand-up routine, calling Busha Devil, claiming that the UN stinks of salt up before dropping his microphone on the floor and screaming, UN, I'm outta here! I'm

then break dancing off as Lil Wayne blasts over the sound system. But sadly, he decided to skip his favorite gig this year in favor of going on an oil tour. And could he resist pissing off the US whilst doing this? Well, kinda smack addict, resist chasing his dragon. He started with some light sparring

by signing an oil deal with China, which was just a bit of dry humping leading up to some frantic verbal pumping. As he started singing, singing, you are so like me. And in front of song about Bush and the future US banking system. He never disappoints Andy. He is the ultimate showman. I don't think there's been enough songs in this whole financial crisis. I think maybe if Paulson had announced his bailout package in the form of, you know, kind of a skiffle number, I think people might have been better disposed to it. Shavehaz also claimed this week that the current crisis proves that socialism is the best

solution for the world, whereas George W. Bush, by contrast, he claimed that democratic capitalism is the best way forward. So again, it just seems like I'm never going to agree on that, John. That don't seem to be finding any middle ground. He did argue that capitalism is the best system, but that would have sounded a bit more powerful. Had he not been in the process of essentially nationalising the banks at the time? And yes, indeed, Chavez did chirp socialism is the only route to salvation in the time. And yes indeed, Chevere's did cheer up, socialism is the only route to salvation in the world. And we've heard that before of course. Only thing is, it's usually followed by millions of people dying, but it's great to hear it again. But yet again, the press

attention was taken by Sarah Paling, doing nothing. The press were controversially allowed only 29 seconds to film her meeting world leaders at the UN and were allowed to ask no more than zero questions. But amazingly, even that still turned out to be slightly too long. As they managed to catch the president of Pakistan making what seemed to be a clumsy pass at her. Initially, Pakistan Information Minister Sherry Raymond asked her, and how does one keep looking that good when one is that busy? Which is creepy.

It's barely appropriate in the UN bar. It's one in astronaut because one has stars in one's eyes. Most thought of this was as bad as it was going to get until it turned out that this information minister was in fact just playing wingman for the president Who entered calling her gorgeous and said Now I know what the whole of America is crazy about you. Let's get one thing straight mr President at most only half of this country is crazy about her and the other half is dry wretching into a bucket whenever her name is mentioned And the other half is dry wretching into a bucket whenever her name is mentioned. Sarah Pailin had another interview this week with Katie Curricay, journalistic volcano, and even managed to look bad in that interview.

She essentially reduced foreign affairs to good versus evil, saying, and this is a direct quote Andy. It is obvious to me who the good guys are in this one and who the bad guys are. The bad guys are the ones who say Israel is a stinking corpse and should be wiped off the face of the earth. That's not a good guy who is saying that. Now one would seek to protect the good guys in this, the leaders of Israel and her friends, her allies including the United States, in my world, those are the good guys.

Excuse me, Andy, I just need to go off and self-harm for you. It's just that the pain is the only thing that reminds me that I'm still alive. Well come on to be fair John, she's only found out that there is a world in the last couple of years. My daughter is, you know, just coming up to two in a few months and so I guess she's kind of got the same foreign policy experience as Sarah Payton. And she probably has a similarly simplistic view on the Middle East situation. I think I'll be happy with your daughter running for vice president with her good guy, bad guy, googoo gaga attitude towards the world.

Other news now and China is in space. It launched a rocket containing astronauts to attempt China's first ever spacewalk, the rocket Shinjou 7, is supposed to be the first space rocket visible from the Great Wall of China. There was one fascinating story with this, John. The Chinese state news agency published a supposed conversation between the three astronauts on board this rocket, published a supposed conversation between the three astronauts on board this rocket kind of describing what was going on on the rockets and you know the trip so far and fortunately they published this before the rocket had taken off In another spectacular example of Chinese media management shall we say following on from the

use of a pretty girl to mouth the Olympic anthem. Yeah, there are two possible explanations of this Andy. One, the Chinese government is so obsessed with controlling their public image that they fake to transcript and they mistakenly released it too soon. Or two, the Chinese government are so obsessed with controlling their public image that they've carefully scripted all conversations to be taking place in space. It's going to be like a play. The astronauts have been rehearsing for months. This is Curtin up time. Obviously they're learning quite a lot from America, I think. Of course, the real conversation on board was in fact much more mundane as

we now know. We do have a transcripts of what that conversation was and here it is. Nice take off, Wing Lau. Thanks, Lee Chang. Anyone know how to land this thing? Just kidding, I'm fully trained. How's my Ling? Oh, she's okay. Oh good. Why'd you ask? I just, I heard you two were having a few, no, no, no, no, we sorted that out. She's fine with me going into space now. Well, that's because it means you can't stop her from, uh, nothing. Stop her from what mate? Nothing. Hey, did you see the table tennis last night? Good game. What are you inferring mate? Is she seeing that rocket scientist again? Is she? I'm a f***ing astronaut. What more does she want? Well she probably wants someone who doesn't wear a f***ing space suit in bed. At least take the helmet off before you know. What? Is it a crime

to love your job these days? No, but you know just keep them separate. Oh, Carnage fuchsias. That's really pissed me off. Hey slow down man, you're gonna hit that separate. Oh, Carnage Fuchsias, that's really pissed me off. Hey slow down man, you're gonna hit that satellite. What on it mate? Hey look, I'm sure you two can patch things up. I'll patch you up mate, cut them down on each hand, get your hands off my rocket. Who'sucky, I cannot believe you're on this mission.

Food news now, and Peter, the people for ethical treatment of animals, sent a letter to Ben and Jerry, of Ben and Jerry's ice cream phone, urging them to replace the cows milk they used in their products with human breast milk. And it's interesting to think what people were doing when they heard that last sentence. I'm off this bugle podcast.

I'm guessing that joggers have run into lampovers. Cyclists have ridden into ditches, and statistically, someone somewhere listening to this podcast must have frozen motionless as a spoon of Ben and Jerry's ice cream was moving towards their mouth. It's a request. Came off the back of last week's news that a Swiss restaurant will begin purchasing

breast milk from nursing mothers and substituting it for 75% of the cow's milk in the food they serve. This clear publicity stunt has led to mass bookings in the restaurant from babies and perverts. I have to say, John, though, that's the idea of human milk ice cream. Yeah, not hugely appetising. No, I've tasted human milk both a long time ago and relatively recently albeit slightly second-hand as my young daughter aged a month chundered it straight back up into my face. And I just can't imagine even how many strawberries you put in it. It's just not going to be what you want in a cone.

That should be a quote from you on the front of the new Ben and Jerry's you know ice cream. And his old man, not hugely appetising. In a statement Ben and Jerry said, we applaud Peter's novel approach to bringing attention to an issue, but we believe a mother's milk is best used for her child. Well played Ben and Jerry, you got out of that once moving. Very nicely done. What you don't want to do is employ that you will agree to battery farm breast milk. A factory of women with their whaps out being mechanically milked into a trough.

It's the most cost effective way of getting it, Andy. Well, that's how we made our business. That's how we made ice cream in the war, John. You know, women did their part. Let's not forget. That could be the worst thing you've ever said. Ha ha ha! Could be the worst thing you've ever said. Ha ha ha! The W going. I knew it. If you recall, he told her he'd bought her her favorite thing that it

began with G and then she couldn't guess what it was and then he said then oh and then she guessed what it was but I was left in the dark as to what it was. You've sent in some very good suggestions for what that word beginning with GR might have been. This comes from Sherry Garfio in Denver, Colorado. I don't have to guess what he got for his wife. I know. It surely was a great diameter. Well do I remember when my dear sweet husband gave me my first great-eometer? It was the night he proposed to me. In fact it was in place of an engagement ring. Somehow he knew not to bother with a big flashy rock. But what I really long for was my very own great-eometer and boy did he deliver.

I admit it's a little unwieldy getting on and off the bus with its strapped around my finger, but it's certain to turn heads wherever I go. So that's a possibility. A gradian would say. Do you believe in some some kind of device for mapping underground? This one comes from Dave Anderson who writes, I myself have overheard many husbands giving something to their wives that begins with a GR. The irony that Andy did in fact have the correct word although although he mispronounced it, and though this has nothing to do with accents, the word is gravel, as in Mike Gravel. Since the infamous presidential bid one can hire Mike to come to your house for dinner and like conversation for a reasonable fee. You can ask him all the questions

you might have had about his presidential run, including What were you thinking? To which Dave suggested Mike Gravel dinner package, which I can find no trace of all the internet So I'm just gonna have to take it word for it apparently for $49.95 you get appetizers for four Entrave oven baked turkey with gravy salmon or herb roasted chicken sides including mashed potatoes and seasonal vegetables and sorbet and coffee for dessert And of course, Mike Revell himself. So what a great gift for a lady. An evening with Mike Revell. Dave concludes I think you'll all agree this is exceptional value for money and any woman

would be thrilled to be treated to dinner with a form of presidential candidate, albeit a joke one. Michael Schal suggests that the woman on the train's favourite thing is of course your favourite GR as well. Great Britain made possible, of course your favourite GR as well. Great Britain! Made possible! Made possible, of course, by the current economic situation. He brought her great Britain in what I think is a very lovely romantic gesture. If only my girlfriend would pay attention to my needs for landmasses.

Jerry Gillham writes, If the man on the train's wife is anything like me, her favourite thing starting with GR will be grappling hooks. And then he normalizes a hot-y from history. The 19th century Australian father of genetics, Gregor Mandel, who of course also begins with GR. Maybe, maybe he gave Gregor Mandel's rotted corpse. Mark Ellis from Atlanta, Georgia, suggested it is in fact the 1984 classic film, Gremlins, or possibly Gremlins to a new batch, but he says that is unlikely as we all know that the original was far superior to the sequel. And he knows what I'm talking about. I do know what you're talking about without having seen either of them. My flat he writes, if I were lucky enough to have someone bring me my favourite thing that begins with G&R, it would most certainly be a big suspense-filled basket of John Grisham

novels. He is one of the world's greatest ever authors, with ever in italics. Christopher Lupone writes, I think the man brought his wife Greenland. His wife has a fjord fetish, she probably also gets a horn eskimos, seal skins, and particularly eskimos in seal skins. I believe they prefer the term Inwits skins and particularly Eskimos in Seal skins. I believe they prefer the term in width but your right Eskimo is a funny word. It's a funny word. Another quick email here, this is from Harry in Devonoo says, dear Andy and John, brackets in order of Jewishness.

Correct. I was pleasantly surprised to find that as of the 24th of September, Andy's ultimate is now a Pakistani cricketer. This is some more Wikipedia fun. Oh done, again, Bughlers. I see that you are now a man of many talents and nationalities. The Bughles righteous crusade to bring the word of misinformation is spreading to more articles at a rate that former Downing Street director of communications and strategy, Alistair Campbell will be proud of.

I'm sorry, John, your article is still the boring pile of factual mediocrity it always was. Hotties from history now and this nomination from Matthew Faraday, who writes, I nominate the Statue of Liberty. How has it taken so long for the finest green lady in the world to be nominated? This 305-foot tall green blue copper woman towers over New York as equal parts symbol of freedom and smoldering sexuality, wearing nothing but a cloth, a crown and a declaration of independence. This hotly from history makes democracy look sexy. Just asked the Irish immigrants of the 1840s, didn't go back to the British Empire did

though. No, once they saw 30-foot breasts, it's hard to go back to the British Empire did though. No once they saw 30 foot breasts it's hard to go back to that phallic symbol you Brit's call a clock again. Keep your Florence, you're doing another mad. My dream girl is 35, 27, 36 meters that is. From Matthew Faraday and Detroit, Michigan, USA, USA, USA. Outstanding nomination. That I think that just goes straight in I think that goes straight in as Miss September Yeah, although the RS immigrants the 1840s of course would not have been attracted by the sexual liberties 30 foot Press on the grounds that they didn't exist yet for another 40 hundred years

Well, you say that Andy. I think I think I think the idea of them was there even if they weren't so thanks for your emails and Hotties more of which and next week thanks for your emails and hotties, more of which next week do keep your emails flooding into the bugle at timesonline.co.uk. BELL RINGS Sport now and Yankee Stadium is no more as a baseball stadium. Yankee's romped to victory over the Baltimore Orioles, but still missed out on a playoff spot.

And it was an evening, John, I watched it on British television, kind of suffused with nostalgia for all the great moments that haven't taken place there this year, but have in previous years. I guess we've all got our favorite memories of Yankees taking, John, for me, my best memory of the house that Ruth built will be the night that I smashed three home runs in Game Six,

the World Series back in 1977. Bear in mind I was only three. Now a lot of people say it was Reggie Jackson who hit those dingas but if you actually look back at the footage it was actually a little gingerhead English kids living at his dreams and parking it into the bleachers for the sheer love of it. Three pitches, three moon shots, Dr Long Ball was in his surgery and he diagnosed the case of triple big fly. The toddler of Tonk, they call me the small sultan of circuit clouding. Great days. It seems funny to think I'll never play there again. Well we sat, we sat in those dugouts, aren't you? Yeah. We had a little tour around it where Nandi was over here.

We had a little walking tour. There's a over here. Yeah, we were walking tall. There's a lot of history that's being bulldozed like a sleeping passador. Yes. Babe Ruth's daughter threw out the first pitch and did you see it happen Andy? I missed it. I missed that bit, I'm afraid. I'll really because apparently she bounced it and there is a tradition of booing at anyone who bounces the pitch and I do hope they booed her. It will be the wrong way to go out for

those fans to suddenly get by light because my boss John Stuart fulfilled a lifelong dream of throwing out the first pitch at the next last year and he bounced it and he was boot. If you're gonna boot him the least you can do is boot at 96 year old one. What if you're flinging it over the over the catcher's head? Does that get booed as well? Because surely that's your default. You just ping it into the crowd. I think yeah I think yeah just go hard. Does anyone ever follow it up with a bit of verbal and imaginary batsman? What I'd love someone to do with the first pitches to look like they're going to do it and then throw it to first. Of course I guess also for me the Yankee Sen will always be the stadium where Pitcher

Colter Bean made his major league debut in 2005. The first of six glorious appearances for the Bronx Bombers, and to my mind he's probably the Yankees greatest ever player. I know that's a controversial view, and the stats don't really back it up, but to me Colter Bean epitomizes everything that the Yankees do for. In British sports, the big news this week is that West Ham United, I've been punished for contravening league regulations when they signed Coloss Tethes and Havier Mascarano, the Argentinian international stars, and Tethes' goals kept West Ham up that season at the expense of Sheffield United

and it's viewed that without Tevers they would have relegated. But I take a contrary view to this John because in the year before they signed Tevers and Maserano West Ham finished 9th and the year after when they both left they finished 10th which suggests that Tevers and Maserano were hugely divisive in the dressing room and in fact they damaged West Ham and therefore rather than West Ham paying Sheffield United compensation because United got relegated in place of them. All the other clubs should be paying West Ham compensation for the damage they did to themselves.

But you never hear that truth in football anymore. You are a lawyer's husband, don't you? Test it for us. to first. Bugle 4 cost this week and my first forecast is that the first Bugle column will appear in the Times Newspaper on Saturday or will have appeared on Saturday depending on when you listen to this. And you can get that at the Bugle page on the website if you're unable to access the print edition. And also our forecast this week is how much of your house will you still own or be able

to live in this time next week as the financial crisis continues to scraw over the world like a badly scrambled egg. John, watch your prediction for this. You better hope you have a porch because that's all you're going to have left. Just a porch. I think you might be left with just a roof, a roof with some pillars on the corners. And you know, that could be worse. It's not nothing. At least it's a roof over some pillars on the corners. And you know, that could be worse. It's not nothing, at least it's a roof over your head.

Good luck keeping your house, good luck also to our friend Gavin who's getting married next Saturday. Happy wedding to Gavin and the thing up. Try not to cry as much as I did at my wedding, which was a lot. It was a lot. Thanks for listening, we'll be back next week with Bugle 47. which I did at my wedding, which was a lot. It was a lot.

Thanks for listening, we'll be back next week with Bugle 47. Bye. Here we go. you