The Bugle - Egyptian Robot Artists (4210)

Episode Date: October 26, 2021

First time Bugler Alison Spittle and Nish Kumar join host Andy Zaltzman to talk all things from Egyptian robots to randy monarchs.Come see us live at Leicester Square Odeon, in London, on 13th November.We are funded entirely by you, the listener. Listeners who sign up via OUR NEW WEBSITE thebuglepodcast.com have long enjoyed the opportunity to get: mentions on the show (in the form of lies), merchandise and general sense of wellbeing for supporting this fine work of art. As of this week you can also support the show directly via Apple Podcasts. Our new channel ‘Team Bugle’ also includes The Gargle and Tiny Revolutions, shows which currently carry ads - but they will be completely ad free on this channel. So if you love The Bugle, and it’s siblings, then please support The Bugle via our website or Apple Podcasts where you can subscribe today.Buy a loved one Bugle Merch - COLD AND WET WEAVER T SHIRTS ON SALE NOW). Listen to The Gargle here: https://pod.link/GargleFollow us on YouTube or Insta and see parts of this episode with actual video.The Bugle is hosted this week by:Andy ZaltzmanNish KumarAlison SpittleAnd produced by Chris Skinner and Ross Ramsey-GoldingSee acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dancelaguard fans, you will be thrilled to know a book is coming out if you fund it via Unbound. We are publishing the Dancelaguard Reader by Alice Fraser and Dancelaguard, a glorious insight into the world of Dancelaguard, self-published romance maven, and online bestseller. If you would like to find out how to support it, go to thebugelpodcast.com. If we get enough support, we will publish the book. That's a real thing that's going to happen. Thebugelpodcast.com to support the Danciler Guard Reader. A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A- Audio newspaper for a visual world! Hello, Broigles, the half-bloodies spell checker, and welcome to a special edition of the show in which we teach you how to paint socially-saturical townscapes that really capture the essence of a 16th and century Dutch and Flemish life. It's amazing how much a podcast can be

shaped by the first two words. Get one of them wrong and it just becomes a whole different show. Later on, we'll be talking about the importance of facial detail and apparently non-important background figures, and asking what's with win-mills. But first, how to paint someone shitting out of all our soddis, let's restart, can we cancel Gerhard Richter? Well of course he's going to be cross but I didn't book him until the start of this paragraph. I tell him to f***ing channel it into his next f***ing painting then, jeez, it should be f***ing flattered f***ing thought of him. I couldn't have asked Hockney but I didn't, I just google paintings and he was the first one in the list who hadn't died at least a hundred years ago.

Honestly, pro artists, so on all these days, right? Let's try take two, let's try not to get the letters mixed up this time. Hello, Gurgles, no, absolutely not. Uh, take three, hello, buglers, yes, there we are. There we are, third time lucky, well, welcome to issue 4,210 of the bugle with me. Andy Zoltzman, coming at you, all be it, be coming at you indirectly a non-corporeal audio form from the shed here in London

It is Monday the 25th of October 2021 and I'm joined today Firstly by a man who simply loves the smell of napalm in the morning It's I'm sorry not napalm toast toast. Mixing that with the actor Brian Blesed. He really does love the smell of Napeon in the morning, which is a relic of his method acting days and his unsuccessful audition for the poplips now. Please welcome Nish Kumar. Hello, Angie.

Hello, Bugglers. Andy, before we started recording, remember when you said brace yourselves, because this intro's quite long. Yes. You were not wrong. You were not wrong. You are, you are many things Andrew, but a liar is not one of them.

Well, that is one of the, I mean, that is a lie. I'm gonna pick up on that. But you know, some things I don't know about. Well, how are you? I'm, I'm well, thanks. I'm well, how are you? Yeah, very good, very excited to be back. I've been on Bugle Hiatus, and now I'm back.

And I'm backed up with Bugle, well. I felt myself going down a bad road there, and I've pulled myself out of it. Yeah, because you've been on a two month expedition to space, I believe. Correct. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was a stowel eye on the sh- on the shatness shift

You didn't think you could be a stowel eye on a spacecraft, but I found a way I found a way So you were letting the downstairs of the space Titanic just Well, he was up there drinking a champagne. I was downstairs doing jigs and painting ladies boobs on canvas I should say yeah Well you've already heard her joining us for the first time on the bugle they may have heard her on amongst other things so bugle stable casts, the last post, the gargle and Andy Zoltzman's teach yourself to commit libel podge, sorry that one hasn't come out yet, few legal issues. It's the one and only, I assume, Alison Spittle. Welcome to the bugle, Alison. Great to have you on the public.

I'm so excited to be on, this is, yeah, an honor and I'll stop being sincere now. Well that is, you've already used up your lifetime allowance of sincerity on the bugle. Nish, Nish, Nish, you've still got all yours in the tank, I think, all five percent in all. It accumulates. That's a nice thing about it. It builds up, you build up sincerity interest

in your bugle bank account. And eventually I'm going to be able to do one episode, one full episode where all I do is just say the news. We are recording on the 25th of October, 2021. Today is punk for a day day, about where everyone is supposed to dress as a punk. I've gone with an inverse mohawk here. Oh, as I saw off in the case. As always, carefully, that's the first time I've heard you describe your hair as an inverse mohawk. As always, a section of the bugle is going straight in the middle. This week we have a free

board game for you. New board games just come out. We're giving it way exclusively for each, it's called For richer for poorer. It's a two-player game in which one player represents the rich of the world and one player represents the poor. Each player draws five cards from the current global crisis pile and five from the history of humanity pile in a top-trump style showdown, whoever side did or has done or is doing better out of either the current crisis or the historical event, moves their counter forward, the number of squares they feel like moving forward to accurately reflect what the winners of history and indeed the world today do. Current crises include climate, COVID, water scarcity, food shortage, just migration, employment, modern day slavery,

globalization, population and malaria. Historic events include organiser religion, empires, colonialism, plague, water scarcity, foodires Colonialism, Plague Water Scarsity, Food Shortages, Migration Employment Genghis Khan, and then Modern Day now a former slavery. The box contains one board, two packs of 750 cards, and one counter in the shape of a golden dollar sign for whoever is playing the rich. You won't need one if you're on the Paul's team, but you can cobble one together on your own, probably enough, and once you've made a piece, the rich can then play their charity card, Joker, which moves the poor forward forward probably enough, and once you've made a piece, the rich can then play their charity card Joker, which moves the poor forward one square and the rich forward two squares as a special altruism bonus move. The price of the game is whatever you can afford. I did say it's free, but obviously it's not really free. That section is in the bin, along with our Halloween costume

section, in which we run down the four most popular scary costumes ahead of this this year's Halloween a carbon dioxide molecule a cuckoo clock out of which the cuckoo pops every hour instead of saying cuckoo says say guys and a costume in which you just dress up as democracy it's basically the same as a zombie costume these days and a sausage costume as well, always terrifying. Those sections in the bin. Top story this week. What is going on in the world? The answer is, loads of stuff is going on in the world, as is self in the case and has been from well now. But we at the Bugle, we always strive to find the stories that best exemplify the current state of our announced species

and celebrity planet. And perhaps nothing captures human life. 2021 better than this headline. Egypt arrests robot artist that uses AI algorithms and computer eyeballs to make Robo art and obviously looks eerie like Joan Bakwell but is named after Ada Lovelace. On suspicion of being part of an international espionage pop before releasing the robot after a brutally intensive 10-day cross examination, the robot then takes part in an exhibition at the Pyramids entitled Forever Is Now.

I mean, that basically covers everything about humanity today, doesn't it? I mean, Alice, you are on your bugle debut, are robot artist correspondent? Yes, yes, very much. So I fear them, Andy. The only machines with faces on that I like is Henry De Hoover, because he's quite a reassuring presence. He's got a bit of a rise smile as well, as if he's slightly judging what he's consuming.

And it freaks me out that they've decided to make this artist robot look so much like a person. And I think they're doing it for the people that have those sex robots. Like I do think they're doing it in the flavor. They can have them in the corner and go, she's an artist as well. And it's perfect. I'm very acceptable. Well, we're all just mues even. Yeah, quite so. And I don't know, I, as art is very subjective and I don't like complaining about art because

I feel like anytime that I don't like art, I fear that I might hurt the artist feelings. So it's good to have a robot artist because I can unequivocally say it is shy. Well I mean the robot hoover, I mean this shows how you know overconfident robots are getting because obviously we're expecting to to replace humanity and you know the sooner the better in the case of a lot of lines of work. But the robot who was essentially also replacing the Labrador, I don't think I'm at all comfortable with that. Nish, I know most of your material has been written by a series of robots. Yes, yes, yes, your career. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and you're very familiar with what they can create.

Yeah, I like to generate humor by algorithm. Yep. That's the way that I've worked. And it's worked out pretty well so far. Why? Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it did. There you go. That's just an example of what the algorithm can throw up. My concern with this, I have a number of concerns about this, but one of the things I would say is, I'm looking at Ada, the robot. I'm looking at a picture of her. She's got kind of brown features, and therefore, it is not a surprise she had trouble getting through customs.

Even robots are the victims of racial profiling. If I don't want to have a smooth time through customs, she should have popped a blonde wig on. I didn't want it to have a smooth time through customs. She should have popped a blonde wig on. That I could tell you from experience, that is too suave a color to have an untroubled time at customs, Ada. I mean, to me, she did look eerily like Joan Baikwell,

these. She doesn't look out the like Joan Baikwell. She, I'll give you an example of my show stopper, which was rejected when I was on the Great British Bake Off. She's got a bit of an Indian bike well. I mean, like I said, I think this has got every, I mean, it's got incredible technological ingenuity. Yeah, a robot that can create art,

or be that technological ingenuity is used for completely f**king pointless purposes. Have you seen the number of human artists we already have? Absolutely f***ing poor. We do not need more artists. And at least if you're going to make a robot to take over from humanity, yeah, as we were saying, make it look like a f***ing robot. It involves a story, but later recognition of great woman from history, that's Ada Lovelace, not Joan Baker, who's very much still with us. It involves a deep and entirely justified suspicion between nations,

which is, you know, what the world is all about. I mean, you can see from the Egyptian point of view, I think, in the robot, an artist from Britain. You would be, s**tting suspicious, I reckon. Plus the name of the exhibition is forever as now, which sounds like a James Bond film itself. So it would, you know, definitely set alarms going.

It also sounds like it, you know, it's the exhibition title has been made up by a robot that has been programmed to come up with titles for exhibitions that sound like they mean something, but don't. I'd never liked to side with customs authorities, right? But I'm afraid when a bag of wires and cameras turns up in your country, I just feel like you have the right to be suspicious of its motivations. You know?

I just, I really do feel like if you walk into a country, you're like, this is my robot. It's full of cameras, not for spying, for doing art. There's every chance they're gonna have a couple of questions for you. My dad sells textiles and JFK is a nightmare for him. My dad sells textiles and JFK is a nightmare for him. But I mean, can we, so the robots AADAR is made of wires, metal and pure 1960s, spakewall lights, which is a classily elegant 400 more modern mass produced plastics.

But I mean, can we say AADAR is a real artist? I guess time will tell if she starts churning out almost identical pieces with no sign of artist to give evolution for vastly inflated prices that need at least four paragraphs of explanation of what they claim they're trying to express, then yes. Truly, we have ourselves at the top of the range as human artist. We've never had our explain to be so well before we does it.

Yes. What, what have the people involved in the project has actually, has said, we are well aware that the fictions of 1984 and Brave New World are now facts. AI is developing rapidly. I don't remember the bit in 1984 where Big Brother was like, and now a robot painter. If this is the dystopia, it seems like we've landed with the most benign one. Yeah, I've seen the terminator. It wasn't about a robot who traveled back in time to paint a boy. It wasn't about a robot who traveled back in time to paint a boy. That would be amazing. It's so great. Paint me like one of your past boys. I try to think of a pun that's like artist-based for Albe Back, but I can't do it.

I'm sure Albe Back was a 1930s futurist wasn't it? Randy Foreman Monux news now and I mean this is I mean this is right in the sweet spot of the vehicle. It really is. And Alison, as the bugles newly appointed, uh, round the former monarchs correspondent, uh, I mean, what a story to, to, to cover on your debut. The former king of Spain, it has been alleged was

had to be injected with female hormones because his libido is considered to be a state problem. Well, it's a kind of definitely pressed hard in my mind that the monarchs are just livestock and he has been treated like a prize ball by being injected. But you know, when they get, when their temperament is a bit too much, outcomes, the injections. But I wonder like as a royal, I know you have food testers before you eat food and stuff.

I mean, did he have a person that would take a bit of his injection and go, yeah, I'm definitely not horny now, sir, Bob, I mean, there's so many other ways that you could bring down some of the be the injections Injections feels far far too strong. Maybe read them a book about how the world is going to end in a few years. And that definitely, anytime I feel sexually aroused, I just think at the end of the world. I think it's maybe Catholicism or something like that. It's just a press issue. But yeah, so it's become of national importance, this man's the leader. How many women will see Shagging?

Like what's the... Well, there are stats on that. Oh yeah, the cricket stats. So how many ones? Jesus, Saltsman. Well, I mean, we're looking at a solid, kind of, you know, 5000 odd, according to a book released in 27, 5,000, this guy's doing 10 doorken numbers.

It claimed claimed that Wang Carlos II had around for 5,000, that's that's half of 10,000, different lovers in his lathoriotic career. And in what they described as quotes his passion at period, which is, I mean, I guess I couldn't call it his blue period because the Picasso fans will get across. But from 1976 to 1994, apparently, he bended precisely 2,154 women. And all of this just goes to show, it's amazing what you can achieve when you don't have a real job. Now I should say, I don't have a real job, but my equivalent stats are very, very different.

I was going to say, after you're writing some very complicated checks that I don't think, I certainly am not going to be able to cash as someone who also does not have a real job and has not put up those anything compared to those sorts of numbers. His sex drive was so powerful that a former police chief said that it was a state problem. And so he had to have these testosterone blockers to dampen his, the sheer force of his libido. Now, obviously, there's a lot to get into in this, but I have to say my first question is, why in the name of God have we not been employing this with Boris Johnson or Matt Hancock. Just think about how many

lives we could have saved in the pandemic if we had missed it to the front bench with these things. We should have put a diffuser up in the houses of Parliament to dampen their horn, even 130,000 people dying and Matt Hancock still grabbed handfuls of ass meat. No, that helped him, Nish. That helped. Yeah, that's it. He found out the numbers. He was like, hands out, ready now. Where's that CCTV found? We're playing. That's it. Boris Johnson can barely get anything done because of his prodigious capacity for fathering children. And you just

sort of think like, I mean, I don't, I'd listen. I would not be in favor of this personally, but I'm just saying, let's have the conversation. I mean, I believe Indra Gandhi tried something similar in the 1990s with a lot, most of the men in India. So I mean, like, I'm not saying it always ends well. But I am saying the specific instance of the front bench of the United Kingdom, why think I'd not read the full report into the COVID crisis here in the UK, the government commission, to for all the lessons that we can learn. But maybe that is one of them. I mean, it's probably the thing that is most likely to be learned and everything I've

will just conveniently forget about. We can build a better world. What it's like to point to me about this, is that this happens, you know, recently, and you know, King Wan-Karl of the second, sadly, missed out on a nickname, but you know, old monarchs used to get nickname is based on their behaviour Ethelreddy Unready, O-Noth-The-Quiet, Pippin' the Short short, Sebastian via sleep and a Bulgarian moniker, who is apparently called Evalo the lettuce. What?

But, is, I, honestly, you've cried wolf, no, he's cried wolf too much. I've no idea, I think that's almost certainly all bullshit. I am wolf. I know these all independently verified by a three-minute internet search, which is an usual level of research. Yeah, and if there's one thing we know, it's the internet, is an organ of ceaseless veracity. Yes. Which I believe was King Wankarloss's

nickname. But it's a shame that he missed out on being, you know, he's simply Juan Carlos the second rather than Juan Carlos the unfathomably horny. Juan Carlos the remorselessly pre-effic. But disappointment. Like, one of the problems is that he, he had an affair with a Miss World contestant called Barbara Ray and there is an allegation that she received millions of euros from Spanish state coffers to make sure that she didn't talk about the affair.

And I just think when a line item in your country's budget is the King's raging hard on, you've really got to have a serious think about yourselves as a nation. I don't like to cast the Spanish as a pack of Iberian Lossarios, but when on budget day, the Spanish Jardsler is having to use phrases like, and obviously we will have to allocate tax money to pay off people the king as Gisney. But obviously it is very hard here in the UK at words, coincidentally, that Wancolos wrote on a postcard, went on a state visit to this country in 1986. It's very hard for us to relate to the idea that a member of any royal family might be accused of behaving in a sexual way. We don't know what's that look, that's like. The claims were made by former police commissioner, who has himself been accused of spying

bribery and fraud. So it might not be the most reliable sources, but it is fair to say that Juan Carlos has not fully escaped the taint of wrongdoing over his grays, also facing claims that he sent Spanish agents to Britain to harass a former lover. He's running the classic, I'm a magic king, You can't touch me, legal defense on that one. Oh yeah. Recent reports. He's been an ex-self over a year, whilst corruption cases against him have been investigated. Obviously, we don't know whether or not he's guilty. And these cases also look like they might collapse because of the, I'm a magic king. You can't touch me, Lord. But suffice it to say,

he has been spending like you an ex-self in Abu Dhabi. Draw your uncle. In other other world news, the right wing American TV pundit Candace Owens has advocated an American invasion of Australia to quotes free and oppressed people. She's claimed that Australia is essentially a tyrannical police state, which is not technically true unless you are a would-be asylum seeker being held in one of Australia's special islands. But apart from that, I'm sure, and to be honest, I'm sure. I imagine that's not what Arch Conservative Canada's Owens was complaining about. But in terms of, you know, we live in an age of exaggerations, niche, I mean, where do you put the idea that Australia is an oppressed people that needs to be freed

by America? Where does that stand? I'm unequivocal on this, Andrew. I think that that is the biggest exaggeration in the history of the human race. This is the age of exaggerations and there's never been a worst time to be alive. Candace Owens is to be completely fair to a f***ing imbecile. And I think, I think that before we engage in any comment of that, we need to just clear that up and say, in her defence, she is an absolute f***ing moron. And also, in terms of American criticism of the Australian COVID-19, sure the Australian government has balls up. It's vaccine procurement.

But nonetheless, Australia's had fewer overall COVID deaths over the entire crisis than the USA announced every weekday, last week. So in terms of, you know, oppression and freedom, it's got, I don't know how you balance those things. Also, the US's recent record of invading places is at best patchy, I think it's better say. And the logistics of invading Australia are, you know, that's a lot of coastline.

I mean, I mean, if they found bits of the Middle Eastern desert inhospitable, they're going to have a real mother of a time when they get to the bits of the Middle East and desert inhospitable, they're gonna have a real mother of a time when they get to the whole of the middle of Australia. That, I mean, if an American invasion of Australia goes along the same lines as the American invasions in Afghanistan and Iraq, I think that means we're 10 years away from the COVID vaccine being president of Australia.

I'm kind of warming to the idea of the US invading Australia. I'd like to see how home and away deals with that. You know our neighbours, just very hostile neighbours. They'll have to change the theme tune. You know the problem in a with ways I'd like you know hurricanes explosions and I'd love to see them deal with the American enforcement of democracy. Old people news now and well huge russians in the old community here in the United Kingdom as Raining Monarch of the Year, Aquinas with a second, has refused

an award from the Oldie magazine for Oldie of the Year and she's spurned this over by saying you're only as old as you feel. Now, I mean, this is a huge moment really in our national history. I mean, people accusing the Queen of being old at the age of only 95, and it's quite clear that she only as old as you feel. I can see the government jumping on this and basically cutting pension. Yeah, I did. This, that's my exact fear, Andy. The government is now going to go, well, the Queen's saying she's not old at 95. Bang goes, you win a fuel allowance, Ethel. Ethel, you 87 year old spring chicken.

It is slightly concerning. It does suggest the queen is basically saying, look, 95 is the new 40, okay? It's a real outbreak of self awareness from our raining monarch to go, look, sure I'm 95, but it doesn't really count because God is protecting me. And also the best available medical care in the United Kingdom is protecting me. But it's mainly God.

The subtext, Alison, is very much see you in Magaloo. Let's go. What? The subtext is, see you in bag of loof for tops off Tuesday. Yeah, it's about 18 to 98. She's got a few more years left. One's best clubbing years are ahead of one. She's got a few more years left. One's best clubbing years are ahead of one. And in fact, coincidentally, 1898 was the year that Queen Victoria went to Magaloofe. Absolutely, Hammond every night. Queen Victoria was the one who coined the phrase no carbs before marbs, right? That was

the Queen Victoria original. Yeah, she rejected the Victoria sponge. Yeah, it's very, it seems I would be very annoyed being the recipient of the oldie of the year award in 2021 to know that the Queen has rejected it. So, you know, I think I've been looking at who is one this year. Deia Smith has won this year. She, for me, is evergreen. I wouldn't consider her to be an oldie. Who else is here? That's after winning the OV award. Leslie Karen and Sir Jeff Hurst. Right.

Apparently. Yeah. So I mean, I mean, so what, I mean, other than just still being alive, what, what's, what the, what the judge is looking for? It has to, listen, I'm editorializing here. This is totally my opinion. And I can't back it any this up, but it feels like these are the awards that they give to old white people who they can trust to be in public and not say something racist.

That's just how it feels. Oh, I'm sorry. I don't remember Prince Philip winning one of these. That's all I'm saying. Well, I'm just after having a look at the awards here. You know who's given out the awards? It's the Duchess of Cornwall. And I feel that the Queen has gone a very elaborate plan

to avoid her daughter-in-law. And she's known by rejecting an oldie awards. BELL RINGS BELL RINGS Attempts to avert the end of the world news now and the COP26 summit is even more imminent than it was last week when we talked to about it. It begins on Halloween, which I'm not sure is the case. Yes, it's a feeling of frustration.

It's all dates to choose the hot summit., COP26, I mean, according to John Kerry. Be better than April Fools though. I'm a little bit of a stick. Marginally. According to America's special envoy for the climate, John Kerry, COP26 is the last best hope for the world. I don't really entirely meant that when he said best. I think he probably meant it's the last remading not totally shit hope for the world. Sort

of like Churchill's famous quote on democracy. When he described democracy as along the lines of the rotting chip a lot of sausage in the buffet of turns. Words of that effect. Nishau optimistically, you that the world can finally come together and actually do anything to say. Because it seems like COP26 is very much the new Catch-22 No-Win situation. And yes, it is possible to find long-term solutions, but it is really politically inconvenient, so there's no real way out. politically inconvenient, so there's no real way out. Yeah, it's the, it's the Glastonbury of Empty Rhetoric. It really is, it's, you know, this is it, John Kerry has set laid down a gauntlet

and it feels like the rest of the world has looked at that gone. Oh, no, thank you. That gauntlet looks pointy as fuck. Already we're getting stories about internal dissensions, unhappy sponsors, and perhaps most worryingly this week, the news that Saudi Arabia, Australia, and Japan are lobbying to play down the need for the reduction of fossil fuels. Now listen, say what you want about Saudi Arabia and you get chopped up and left for dead in a bit. But I love to hear it now I feel in danger.

I retract that laugh. I retract that laugh. The subtext of that is MBS is a delightful man with a wonderful beard. Please, no problems. He says the same about you. I don't think anybody's in bread roll again, but yes That guy might have found his bread rolling arm removed Who's the daily telegraph prefer at the moment you're

I think it's probably a dead heat I think if you ask most of the readership of the daily telegraphraph, they sort of see me as a Croydon-born Mahamibin Salman. Well, there's a question on, you know, the targets that are going to be set and there seems to be, you know, some skepticism about, overreaching because as the old saying goes, if you shoot for the moon, your cannonball's probably going to land back on your head. So generally why just drop it on the floor. Issues set for discussion at COP26 include, do we actually need warruses? What do they actually do? Icecaps? Have we adequately avenged the sinking of the Titanic yet? Or do we still need to teach them a lesson? And if the world does end, who won? Well, that brings us to the end of this week's bugle. Alison's been absolutely delighted to have you on the show, where else can our listeners find your work? I got a podcast with Faren Brady called Weel of

Miss Fortune. I have a podcast on my own called the Alison's Spittleshow. I'm on Twitter, I don't want to be there, but you might as well follow me. And please tell me to stop scrolling and go to sleep. And I'm on Instagram as well. And am I doing any gigs? No, no. What is it this week? I'm gonna be doing a sex-based gig in university. Well, it's like, it's for their sexual health night and I'm gonna be doing comedy there.

So if you wanna come to that in UCD, only if you're a student, please don't come to a student-based sexual health comedy night. If you're a member of the you will be put on a list. I'm afraid. But that's about it. Yeah. And Nish, what has you got to cut me up? I've going to, of course, the legal life show on the 13th. The legal life show on the 13th. And if you live in the UK, all of the episodes of the series of late-night match are available on the UK TV app. And also, I am going on tour from February to May next year. And I'm going all over the United Kingdom.

And there are no plans for international dates as yet due to the United Kingdom basically being a repository for COVID. So we're going to keep, as soon as that changes, if it ever indeed does change or they don't just rip us off like a derelict building, we will announce those international dates. But yes, tickets available at nishcreamar.co.uk. I will also be on tour in February and March. Tickets available shortly on the internet. That concludes this week's bugle. We are

reverting to Friday recordings for the next few weeks. The current sales of the news quiz is just ending, you can find all them by the BBC website, so we'll be off for about 10 days and then back early. In November, thank you very much for listening. You can still vote for the bugle in the National Comedy Awards for greatest thing in the history of humanity or best comedy podcast, I don't forget which is basically interchangeable. The live show, 13th of November, tickets available online, don't forget to listen to The Gargle, where you will hear Alice Fraser and Alice in the various other guests. Also it was the final ever edition of the last post, last week, so do tune into the daily shows from 2020 and the

updates to 2021. There will be more lies about our premium level of volunteer subscribers on next week's bugle four as one half of that time and space this week to join the bugle voluntary subscription steam go to buglepodcast.com and click the donate button to make a one-half-fourth bearing to keep the show for free, floating and independent. Goodbye!