The Bugle - LIVE, AND ALIVE!

Episode Date: August 2, 2022

As we prepare for our 15th birthday tour Andy introduces some live highlights from previous shows...4079, Live from End of The Road, with Alice Fraser and Chris Skinner4083, Live from The Sugar Club, with Alice Fraser and David O'Doherty (and Chris's daughter's passport)4204, Live from Underbelly, after a long lockdown, with Alice Fraser and Chris AddisonWe run no ads, donate and keep us alive via our website, buy tickets or merch. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dancelaguard fans, you will be thrilled to know a book is coming out if you fund it via Unbound. We are publishing the Dancelaguard Reader by Alice Fraser and Dancelaguard, a glorious insight into the world of Dancelaguard, self-published romance maven, and online bestseller. If you would like to find out how to support it, go to thebugelpodcast.com. If we get enough support, we will publish the book. That's a real thing that's going to happen. Thebugelpodcast.com to support the Danciler Guard Reader. The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world. Hello, Bugleers and welcome to the first sub-episode of our Summer Hiatus 2022.

The Hiatus came, I will admit, a week earlier the next year has anticipated due to our degree and his hospital circumstances such as me and his ultimate being, subsumed by the International Cricket Schedule to a point where I was unable to say anything other than numbers. We will be back at the end of August for the final chum rings of the Conservative Party, Prime Minister picking Democratic Chavis D'Fest, plus wherever else is going on in the near universe of the time. If you are at the end of the festival in August, don't forget to go and see all the Bewool co-host performing there, including Alice Fraser, Tiff Stevenson, Nish Kumar, James Nakito, Neil Delamay, David Odochert

and no doubt other co-hosts, past, present and future. Oh, I think I've covered it there. And also don't forget to book your tickets for the Bugle 15th Anniversary Micro Tordates in London on the 15th of October, Birmingham on the 27th, Glasgow on the 30th and Dublin on the 3rd of November. Plus, I'm doing some extra saxophiles for high shows in November, details on the internet for by simply commuting with a higher realm that's easier.

You get my website and his ultimate.co.uk where you will find links. In the meantime, our summer hiatus sub episodes. We'll be bringing you over the next few weeks the best of the bin, highlights of the new bit's legendary if we may stretch language to the point of consciousness section in the bin. It was filled up with unwanted garbage since 2007, and will have something from the Bugles Clotty magazine sister publication for Garble. But to start you off this week as we build up to our 15th anniversary live shows,

we have the best of the Bugle Live. Soon after the podcast's rebirth in 2016, the first Bugle Live show clattered into existence at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival of 2017, since when the live shows shows have provided well, let's just say, sporadic entertainment to crowds of less than a billion on several of the world's most famous continents. Here they are now some of the finest moments from half a decade of full three-dimensional presented to you now in zero dimensions. Chris hit the theme tune! A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A- Right. Right. Is that...

Is that progress? So, that's just now, the official start of the show. Hello, Bughlers! Hello, people who are not buglers. Hello people are slightly confused about what is now happening. So welcome, so this for our listeners, not here, is Bugle 4,09. We are live at the end of the road festival at the Larmatory, Indoor City. It is now one minute to midnight, funny o'clock. And this was a number of firsts for this podcast. For the first time in our proud history, the bugle is headlining a music Now, I mean, it does slightly depend. That's in Vincent. Yeah. If you really are a saint.

LAUGHTER Is she a real saint? Because I mean, she must have fiddled the paperwork, because usually you've got to be pretty much dead, haven't you? She's not even a real Vincent. LAUGHTER This is the first ever bugle to be performed outside. Traditionally, it's very much been an indoor kind of show, but today we join the huge list of things that have happened outside.

A number of amazing things have happened outside through human history. For example, the Battle of Waterloo. The wipeout of the Dinosaur. Most cricket matches. All the good ones. All the good ones, absolutely all the good ones. The assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand. Let's just hope there's no repeats of something happening outdoors leading to a catastrophic mass conflict whose echoes re-pogust to this day. Another great outside event, the crucifixion of a Mr. J.H. Christ, former assistant managing director of Joseph and step-son carpentry woodworking, donkey riding PLC. Also outside, precisely 50% of all pooping has happened outside. Do you know that pokes have a rare chemical in their bodies?

It's catholicium, Pope piosum. And that means if they don't do it, don't do exactly half of their pooping alfresco. They become Jewish. How can you not pronounce something you just made up? Don't give the game away, Alan. We are now separate from some of the things that have only ever happened inside as well, including the finals of the World Snooker Championships,

all of which have happened under a roof, the painting of the Sistine Chapel ceiling happened inside and also all of Theresa May's picnics. LAUGHTER I don't know if there's anything more heartbreaking than a Prime Minister having an indoor picnic on her own, but look at her face. She definitely does. I think she has a weekly solitary indoor picnic. Isn't that just known as a meal? I'm coming with your science.

So, top story this. Are you happy with the world, generally? No, out of ten, how do you score the world right now? Two, three. Two, four, three. Dog shit out of 10. It's my eighth. It's about a... But, on the plus side, there's a story of great positivity this week. And that is that we are now at war with France. One, two, three, four, we have declared scallop war and I don't know if you've seen this, but British boats and French boats have been clashing in the channel in a battle about scallops. I mean, it's just 213 years since the Battle of Trafalgar, so it's really just running on in the grand scheme of things. So this is, so British boats appeared off the coast of Normandy.

See how you like it, you Norman Bastard. That's for what you did to King Harold. Never forget. So around 40 small French boats clashed with five larger British boats. The boats bumped each other. Stones were thrown, and sorry if there's any children, in insults were hurled, and up to 10,000 people were killed or injured.

LAUGHTER Up to being the key word there was fewer than... It was 10,000 fewer than 10,000, but still, and in the middle of this some heartbroken skull-up so screaming, I don't know who to love! LAUGHTER I just want to be cooked in the tast of this some heartbroken skull-ups was screaming, I don't know who to love! I just want to be cooked in the tastiest way possible! I mean, boats on both sides threw stones at one another. Where are they getting the stones?

On a boat? This is the other least flotty thing! I don't know. It, you can't get fishermen in our demanding government protection while the French are bewailing the loss of what they call a primary resource Which I assume Does that not scream primary resource to you to me? It's very hard to eat a scallop these days without thinking to yourself

Aphrodite you are not what you once were So I don't know what you thought there's something I thought when it came to the fisherman and personally with all these scallops I thought they're being a little bit a little bit shellfish. Oh, f***ing hell. That's a very good choice. Well, sorry. I mean in this kind of conflict the one who wins is the one who ends up with the most muscles, right? Boom, there we go. Do my local Chinese restaurant run out of scallops because of this battle? The owner had visited from Shanghai, especially for a scallop in Blackbeam Source tissue, very disappointed. Very, very, absolutely crestfallen. He really was a crustacean. Sorry.

Thank you. Welcome to the Bugle Live. It's very exciting to be here in Dublin. This is the second and final night of the Bugle European tour. We were in Sford last night Dublin tonight Dublin up quite literally you come into lie from the sugar club here in Dublin and also doubling up as Issue 4,083 of the bugle as I said we were in Solford last night and we are in Dublin tonight and Chris your journey from Salford to Dublin today I've had a complicated day Andy yes because I mean generally it would take I mean in layman's terms not very long but we had a slight procedural glitch where you attempt to pass yourself off at passport control as a four-year-old girl. Well, I mean, you know, I mean, here's my

daughter, a passport photo, looks just like me. Sadly, the attendant at the Ryanair check-in didn't agree with that statement, and I don't live near Salford, and four trains later, and an emergency meeting with my wife, where we swapped passports several hundred miles away from where I was supposed to be, and then got another train and then another flight and then another taxi. I'm here! There we are, this is it! You are... what you are applauding there is a man's painful recovery from his own incompetence. So you took your daughter's passport, yeah I'm a f***ing idiot, I know.

I mean I looked so, so this was, our journey today yeah, it was like, it was really simple like so what we were supposed to do was start there, get there, there. It was supposed to be so, so easy. And instead, I've gone up and down, I've gone sort of from here to there, then over there a bit, a couple of times, then back over here, I've gone plus weird places to style. I've gone through Stratford.

I've gone through a weird swamp dick airport. And now I'm here. There we go, he's made it. He has made it... Hero, absolute... I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry, Hero. LAUGHTER On the pupil, this week, firstly, representing the entire Southern Hemisphere, all women and

people who hate thin-leg pink birds. It's so wonderful, Alice Fraser! When she was, she was so fine, like a woman. Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! trying to pass himself off as a female infant. You know most airports are on the lookouts for people trying to smuggle children out of the country. I don't think they have management systems in place for adults who are trying to smuggle themselves out of the country disguised as babies. It's a bad disguised Chris, you didn't even shave. I mean, I don't recommend it, no.

No matter how much you scream and shit yourself, you will never again look like a baby. And he did do that quite a lot. So Alice, your first time in Dublin? It is, it is my first time in Dublin. I'm very excited to be here. My mum was a massive Irish fan. She did her master's thesis on kind of folk music.

And so basically, what I'm saying is I'm related to someone who respects your culture. And I'm Jewish, so I'm fine. I'm neutral. Also, joining us today all the way from Dublin about 10 minutes walk away. It's the wonderful Davin O'Docketing! APPLAUSE Are you still on the next time I punch you, David?

Thank you. I'm glad you're alive. It sounds like it's going pretty well. Andy, I don't think it's going well enough to get the European residency you crave, though. Sure, Polter and Fleetwood did well enough in the Ryder Cup last week. They can come in. J.K JK Rowling, out of push.

You and Banksy, still not sure. I saw his picture shredding itself last week. I'm like, what does that remind me of? Oh, one of Andy's Oldsmans gigs! LAUGHTER Surely, really? What? Do you mean the ticket holders before one of my gigs? I mean, you got 1.2 million for doing it, that's why I remember you.

So David, I mean, I left my shirt, I went to a very good school in many ways, but it did leave me with certain gaps in my knowledge of the world, for example, while clearly the entire history of Ireland and the other side of the British Empire, left me with gaps about, for example, how to rewire a plug, how to change the tyres on a car, how to talk to a girl, what to do to a girl, once I talk to it, do they need feeding, do they osmos? Do they need feeding? Do they osmos?

So huge gaps in my knowledge of the world all bit that I was able to express those gaps in grammatically perfect Latin But so David can you for my for an ignorant English one please explain a little bit about the history of Ireland Chris could you put on a YouTube clip called Irish Music Sad? Ireland was founded by footballer Stephen Ireland in 3,000 BC. Ireland's indigenous people were the leprechauns or leprechans, as nobody's ever called them, but they died out tragically, owing to the fact that they were all male. I never existed, nothing kills the people of quicker than never having actually existed. Your next major character in Irish history, Andius said Patrick, the patron saint of strangers taking a shit behind the wheelie bin in your front garden, and that is how he has commemorated for one day around the world. St. Patrick got rid of all the snakes, and so thorough was he, he got rid of any archaeological evidence that might ever have been snakes on the island.

Around the first millennium saw the arrival of the Vikings. And they're so unlike any Scandinavian people I've ever met today. It's like one day they must have woken up and gone, Hey you know, let's not rape and peelage anymore. Let's invent social democracy. And IKEA and Lego and aha. Ha! Then nothing happened in Irish history for 600 years

till the arrival of Oliver Cromwell in 1649. And he... Ha! He absolutely wrecked the place. Although scene is a modernizer in Britain, still seen as that today, in Ireland, he is seen as a genocide-al-f**k head. Potato potato! Who caused a population drop-off to some expert put his high as 83% of the Irish population? Thanks, Cromwell, the apparel of Ranset Wangers.

Excuse me if I occasionally visit the British House of Parliament where there is a statue of you to take a shit just in front of it. Cromwell was eventually defeated by Conor McGregor at the Battle of Cromwell. In 18, proper 12. With his rallying cry, you'll do nothing, you f***ing prick. But McGregor was in turn defeated by Queen Victoria

at a bout in Las Vegas, where he had motivated her by criticizing her family, her nation, and her religion. turned defeated by Queen Victoria at a bout in Las Vegas where he had motivated her by criticizing her family, her nation and her religion. Queen Victoria loved Ireland and left us with her greatest legacy, the shop Victoria Secret on Grafton Street. Short for Victoria Secret was that she wished she'd done more to prevent the Irish famine 1845 to 1849. This is like shooting fish in a barrel in front of these people.

Ireland has always loved a craze from line dancing to yo-yos, from Tamagachis to Catholicism. But they tend to come and go. They say you only play this town twice in your career said the Pope in Dublin on his recent business. Once on the way up, it's great to be back. And the 11 people in the crowd jiggle their rosary beads and shook their little bags. Although normally a republic, Ireland is still a mystical place ruled over by Anya. I've never met Anya, but apparently you can recreate the feeling of meeting her if you put your peen slash lady peen in a Dyson airblade. If you feel something crazy in the air, listening to this podcast, that's Irish presidential election mania!

For some reason, a reason nobody can quite remember Ireland has a T-Shock or Prime Minister and a President. The President is a non-political role. The idea of which is that you do the gigs the Prime Minister doesn't have time to do, such as shaking hands at the rugby and apologizing for institutional atrocities the Prime Minister has committed. The runners and riders have assembled for this once every seven years event and what a group. Does the incumbent Michael D. Higgins?

A tiny wizard poise who negotiated the tricky events of the last seven years with a plomb. He hosted the Queen's first ever visit to Ireland without giving her a wedgie. I'm commemorated the centiner of the 1916 rising without mentioning that he'd love to give the Queen a wedgie. Job done. So he should get to do it for another seven years, and everyone wants them to, with the exception of five people. The five other candidates who are running for its job. There's no reason to mention the other candidates

because you'll never hear of any of them again. Suffice to say that most of them three out of five have been dragons on Ireland's dragons dead and they look like they're only running for president for a prank. They lost with one of the lads at the golf club. The other two are ladies and they hate science. Michael D. Higgins will definitely win,

and he'll have another sweet seven years in front of him, where his main job will be to commemorate the centenary of the war of independence in 2019, without giving the Queen a wedgie, and the centenary of the war of independence in 2019 without giving the Queen a wedgie and the centenary of the civil war in 2022 without saying he wants to give Michael Collins slash Aiman Ireland. Yeah! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Who said comedy can't be educational? There's no one ever suggested that maybe we form some kind of like a little bit. The logic seems inescapable now. Has that never been tried?

Oh no, we can't, because you hate those bloody Europeans putting their towels out of the pool early in the morning. Trying to straighten your bananas? They're not your bananas, Andy. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER BUZZ BUZZ So, joining me today, I am very rustier. It's so funny. Quite... Well, simultaneously, disconcerting, strangely emotional.

And it's also making me think that I've lost all the skills that I once had. What do I have to do now? Oh, yes. There's more people. Yes, so joining me today, to, the rest of the show. This is more Peter's to the show. Yes, so joining me today to boil the bones of the last week of news into a hopefully digestible stop. Firstly, right here, right now, in person, please welcome for the first time in a beautiful live show,

Chris Adison. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Good evening, Andy. Good evening, Chris. Lashanna Tova, happy Russia-shanna to you. Absolutely, yes. I've had an awesome... ...hazard been. ...has been... Happy year.

Happy 5782? Oh, yes. ...to hell of a year. What a good year. Oh, it's just wondering. So, obviously, you're 3,700 years in the future. Yes. What's it like?

Well, if everyone here was offered, was it 5,782? Yep, 5,782. Would you take it? Would you take it? Would you take a 3,800 year hibernation at this point? I think that is a majority, Chris. You've just had a 20 month hibernation, you wish we were complaining about a second ago.

I still haven't tidied my cupboards You're never gonna tidy your cupboards So How's your lockdown been really good actually? I had a tremendous lockdown for all my money into face masks While they read I did that just suspiciously in October 2090, but I don't want anyone to read anything into it I don't want anyone to read anything into it. Yeah, it's been an absolute shit show, same as everybody else. Does anybody actually think they had a good lockdown? Thank you.

In a ruling in Texas, well, a ruling the American Supreme Court by an arrow five to four majority, Yn ymdwch i'n texas. Yn ymdwch i'n ymdwch i'n ymdwch i'n ymdwch i'n ymdwch i'n ymdwch i'n texas. Yn ymdwch i'n texas, ymdwch i'n ymdwch i'n texas, ymdwch i'n texas, ymdwch i'n texas, ymdwch i'n texas, ymdwch i'n texas, ymdwch i'n texas. Ymdwch i'n texas, ymdwch i'n texas, ymdwch i'n texas, ymdwch i'n texas. businesses or in people's not being shot by the range gun, toting lunatics, but does believe in state intervention in people's wooms, which I mean, Alice, do you think this is, are we misrepresenting this? I mean, it does seem slightly hypocritical. It's such a peculiar law, Andy. I don't know if you've looked at the details of the law, but it allows

bounties for snitches, like a weird pro-life video game where you just whack someone who's helping and their coins transfer to you. Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing. But I don't know, then one of those coins was a sperm and you have to quickly gestate your new baby to term and look after it for 18 years even though you don't know where that coin has been. If your grandmother was right all coins have been up someone's butt hole. Sorry, I got to read. Look, it's so badly written as a law. You have to assume that they assumed it wouldn't

pass. It's like, it's very dog who caught the car and then had to figure out how to administer a rule that lets you basically just take $10,000 of someone involved in helping someone in distress. It's completely incoherent, almost impossible to enforce. And will the, it's like if someone just transcribed a drunk uncle's pro-life rant onto a napkin and then slammed it down in front of the Texas legislature and went, this whole thing before puking into a pot plant. That's basically how the American Constitution was written, isn't it? I'm sure the founding fathers were fucking happy. It was written in a Frank and Benny's on a Friday night.

I just want to say in the rational society where everyone gets all their tubes pegged at puberty and then you have to do a test to get a child license and it's a one question test which is do you want to have a child and then they randomly select one social media post you've made and you have to name your child that post in full. I'm not that's not be tricky for me that means my first child would have been called die mother f*** a die. DMD's also. Six weeks is, I mean that is absurdly early. I don't know, to put some people have realized their pregnant or at least certainly come to

term psychologically with the implications of pregnancy on your life, your lifestyle, your responsibilities. I know when my wife and I found out that she was pregnant in 2006, well it took me a good, well decade and a half and counting to get my head around it. If I want to go out and watch sport on my own, I've got to monetize it. I'm being... I'm being... LAUGHTER Um, I mean, Chris, I know you're a massive fan of the brutal inhumality of American press interest politics, what's your... Well, the thing is, my problem with this law... is that it makes it even more difficult to ask that age-old question, am I in Texas or am I in Saudi Arabia?

LAUGHTER Filing the ground? Check. Large areas of desert, check. Distinctive hair gear, check. Religious lunatics are standard, check. Somewhat punchy attitude towards immigration, check. They're talking, but I can't understand what they're saying, check. Hatred of women, masquerading as moral high ground, check. Really, the only way you can tell now whether you're in Texas or Saudi Arabia is to order some food and see whether it comes

with barbecue sauce or hummus. And the tigers as well. And it's us. Let's be forget. Let's try to take some positive from this situation. I realize that that's like saying to somebody who's been wrongfully imprisoned, hey, at least you don't have to pay any bills

and they're closer free, but nobody ever gained by being relentlessly negative, obviously, apart from the billionaire owner of the Daily Mail and Jeffrey Boycott. For a very long time, it's been a huge concern that medical procedures in the United States are ruinously expensive. And to some degree, this law solves that problem.

It's a big American approach to solve the expense of medical procedures by banning medical procedures. But it's a little like solving the problem of being overweight by soaring your legs off, but be careful what you wish for, I guess, is what I'm saying. Well, you don't have to be pro-choice to see that some of the arguments are completely off the rails. My favourite one that I saw recently was the guy who said that if women can't abortions, if women can't get abortions, sorry, they'll be more selective about the men

they sleep with and only bang men who they would be happy to have father-deer children. And so all other men will have to step up their game, which is such a cute argument from somebody who's never met people before. a fydd ymwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r capacity as a Republican voter. The Republican party, by the way, is technically no longer registered as a political organisation, but they handmaid's tail reenactment society, which has the double benefit of allowing them to circumvent rules on donors and make the hoods they bought for their wives tax deductible. Most decent people believe that you don't really have a right to make laws concerning women's bodies if you don't have a woman's anatomy, but of course the largely male legend that you're of Texas was able to get around this on a technicality by being a bunch of f***ing.

I think the best way to fight this horrific tendency for largely male legislatures to make decisions about women's bodies is for women to say, okay fine, fine. Well then you make all the decisions then. The whole thing would very quickly stop if the likes of Texas governor Greg Abbott were being rung up every two minutes by a woman saying, is this milk off? Or, hi, I'm just in Nando, should I go with macho peas or peri salted chips?

Greg, hello, sorry to bother you. I was just going to send you something free birthday and I was wondering, do you think it should be a dog or a cat that I get the turd from? LAUGHTER Look, I know plenty of people who are kind, normal people, who have feelings about abortion or aren't sure what they think. And to those people, I would say, you're right.

It's a really hard ethical position to be in if you think women choosing not to carry a pregnancy is murder from day dot, which is actually what a blast assist looks like. But it's a really fascinating trolley problem for philosophy class. And until we can measure the weight of a pending soul, and unless the issue is situated inside your own body, just pretend the unborn child is like collateral damage in a drone strike.

Oh, wow. You know, that seems quite comfortably in the realm of quite sad boohoo, none of your business. LAUGHTER APPLAUSE quite comfortably in the realm of quite sad boohoo none of your business. That will throw your pocket money into artificial wound technology and then every unwanted baby can be put grown in a bag and used to colonize the stars or whatever. It's good to have a dream. I remember that. But luckily the satanists are standing up against it. My people.

Yes, the Tannik Temple has launched legal action against the ruling. Chris, I don't know when we first worked together. You were dabbling in. Yeah, very much so. We occult. Yeah. I'm 74. very much so yeah. We occult. Yeah, I'm 74.

Hello, Bugleers, producer Chris here. Thank you so much for listening to this and do please come to our live UK and Ireland dates, even if you live nowhere near Ivovo's places. What a chance to travel it is. The full information for all these episodes is in the show notes, but for the record they were Bugles 4079, 4083 and 4204. We'll be back with another show just like this, but different next week. you