The Bugle - Marion Cotillard's Bugle

Episode Date: November 11, 2022

The US midterms and Elon Musk draw Andy, Nish and Hari's attention. Plus special mentions for Kurt Vonnegut and Marion Cotillard.Why not listen to our new show, celebrating 15 years of Top Stories: https://www.thebuglepodcast.com/topstoriesFeaturing:Andy ZaltzmanNish KumarHari KondaboluProduced by Chris Skinner, Laura Turner and Ped Hunter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dancelaguard fans, you will be thrilled to know a book is coming out if you fund it via Unbound. We are publishing the Dancelaguard Reader by Alice Fraser and Dancelaguard, a glorious insight into the world of Dancelaguard, self-published romance maven, and online bestseller. If you would like to find out how to support it, go to thebugelpodcast.com. If we get enough support, we will publish the book. That's a real thing that's going to happen. Thebugelpodcast.com to a real thing that's going to happen. TheBuglePodcast.com to support the Danciler Guard Reader. The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world. Hello, Bugalers, and welcome to issue 4247 of the Bugal audio newspaper for a visual

world with me and his artsmen. Fresh from the now completed Bugal 15th anniversary live Bugal live tour. And thanks to everyone who came and for the other 7.7 billion of you who are unable to make it, I expect your apologies and excuses. Handwritten, let's show you a minute by the end of the week. It's Thursday the 10th of November 2022 as we record. I am back in the shared on quenchable facturitiveness in South London where I come to record. And joining me from this week, from just up the road,

it's the man who narrowly lost out in 2020 to French film star Marion Cottyard to be the new face of Shalom number five Nishkumar numero sank seabu play Andrew Cottyard I don't know what she's got that I don't have no I mean I don't think that's really a question that can be answered apart from based on a couple of interviews I read about 15 years ago some what she's got that I don't have. No, I mean, I don't think that's really a question that can be answered. Apart from based on a couple of interviews I read about 15 years ago, some slightly contentious views on whether 9-11 happened. Allegedly, allegedly, allegedly, allegedly.

Well, I mean, apart from that, it's very hard to, you know, this must have been a very tough call for Chanel, that's all I'm saying. Listen, Chanel, you're not the only organisation that can regularly produce odours a very extensive. And, Nish, thank you very much for still doing the show. I know it must have been a very disappointing day for you. They've just announced the England Football World Cup squad and despite your impressive performance on Tuesday afternoon in Comedians Football, which is a good non-characteristic number of goals for you.

You've failed. How do you feel? I'm not sure. You've failed to make the cut. Must be gutted. No, it's devastating, Andy. I thought I'd put a good shift on Tuesday. I know that Gareth was watching on Zoom I believe. But no it's a big it's a it's a it's a double sporting disappointment for me today Andy because I'm not only I've missed out on the England squad but the Indian cricket team missed out on playing any good cricket this

morning in the T20 World Cup semi-final. Yes. And I received a text message from my father as soon as the game ended that simply said, England Zindobab. And we're talking about... Ha ha ha ha ha. It's really evidence of the shifting loyalties of the British Indian community when it comes to the game of cricket.

We support whoever's winning. Ha ha ha. Um, joining us from New York City with cricket. We support whoever's winning. Joining us from New York City in the democracy-torn nation of the USA. It's the man who in 2016 came so close to being cast as Dr. Sophia Rifkin in the Assassin's Creed film and computer games. Before losing out to the French film star, Marion Cotty, like in this, the doable episode with the biggest collective this, the do-you-will episode, but the biggest collective beef towards the multi-word wedding actress, especially if you're actually my own joke resentment at being pipped by Cotty-R for Gratio magazine's press to just best dress star of 2013 award.

Anyway, speaking through the tears, it's Harry Condabolo. Hey Andy, hey, hey, this. And this, I had a feeling you and I were going up for the same part, so I just didn't think it was that one. Yeah, I didn't think, yeah, I didn't realize that you and I had both been pipped to the post to play Edith Piaff. Lucky I've got there again. LAUGHTER Lucky I've got there again. So, Harry, we'll touch on this later, but America once again in the aftermath of a democratically eviscerating itself. How is New York this morning the day after the midterms? Well, you know, we still have good coffee. Right. We're still, you know, we're still not

underwater. That's good. Yeah. Everything is going the way it goes every day. But the long term ramifications of what may happen in the next several weeks You know is heavy on all of us. I don't know if this means anything, but my My son I think from the tension of the election should himself today How old is it times. He's two. He is two. Right. But still, is that relate, and he's been doing it for two years, but to be fair, it's

been the 10th two years. He just keeps losing bowel control. And I don't know, Andy, it's sad to see him embarrass himself like that. Yeah. But essentially, you've just, you have, you have parented a piece of physical satire on American politics essentially and I'm sure we should have shut down. But parented is polite. I am here.

I am present, yes. We are recording on the 10th of November on this day in 1793 a Goddess of Reason was proclaimed by the French Convention and this was in the A slightly lively decade for France in which they ditched Christianity and attempted to form a religion based on reason It was called the cult of reason it marked a departure from worshipping strange magical deities. It was the world's first state-sponsored secular atheist religion. So would this singular watershed moment in which politics cleaved its other way

from its favourite mechanism of social control and indoctrination towards more considered logical humane system of truth freedom and rationality? No, it was absolute chaos within a few months it had collapsed and all the leaders had copped a bit of a denogoning curse courtesy of what the Australians would know that called Gillo the Gillotine. Marianne Cottyard's views on the cult of reason that briefly held to in revolutionary France were not made clear in her appearance as Mal in the Christopher Nolan film Inception. And on this day...

What's going on in the shed today, Andy? What happened here? What's... I feel like I've let this go for as long as... Right. In terms of representing the voice of the listeners of this podcast. Right. I feel like I've let this go for as long as I can possibly let it go.

Have you just discovered the existence of Mary and Cartier? No, no, I haven't. No, I can't remember how I began writing that bit. What I would say is that it's that time of the year where I've sort of reached a point and obviously I know I wipe my brain clean on December 31st every year, ready for a new year of news. And by mid-November, usually I can't take another fucking bulletin without screaming. And sometimes, you know, you just turn to another source for inspiration. And in this case, I think it must have been some kind of wiki pdf chain that let's marry a country.

Anyway, having briefly Googled it, Cotty, I did subsequently renounce her views on 9-11. All right, okay. She's back on team 9-11 happened. All right, okay. And what about you? What side, but you want to come in if you'd... I, Andy, being asked, what side you? What side, but you want to go on, I'm going to go on, I'm going to go on, I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on, I'm going to go on, I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on.

I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on. I'm going to go on as listen to this, it will probably no longer be the 10th of November, since it's already quite late in the 10th of November. It may well be the 12th of November, in which case, on this day in 1927, the 12th of November, Leon Trotsky was expelled from the Communist Party in the Soviet Union, leaving Joseph Stalin as an undisputable control of the Communist superblock. Marian Kotijod has has never played the past trotsky. Or Stalin in any known film or stage play. And in 1990 Tim Berners-Lee published a formal proposal for the World Wide Web, thus inadvertently paving the way for today's bugle podcast featuring me, Nish and Hari

in three separate locations, Cheers Timbers, much obliged. And also paving the way for numerous potential deep fake videos of Marion Cotty are playing table tennis against Trotsky. How do you fucking sleep at night, Berners-Lee? This is on you. You know, I know that fans of this podcast get you and love you because whenever I meet fans

of this podcast after shows, not once have they asked me what I assumed they would ask me, which is why is he like that? And they must get you at a level that we don't. Well, it's the slightest thing anyone said to me, how are you? The list of shit with this podcast just sat there and nodded their heads going, yeah, yeah, he's clearly just a old guy in the box. I remember that's found its way. That's found its way to the text. I'm feeling like the Wizard of Oz here. It's almost sequestri.

As always, a section of this podcast is going straight in the bin. This week, we have a greatest human creation in history, knockout competition, round one. This week was a historic week because the number of things made by humans in all history reached 17 trillion, 592 billion, 186 million, 44,416. That of course is four to the power of 22, which means that we can have a 22 round competition to find the best thing ever with four items in each heat and the

best one going through to the next round. This competition will take probably hundreds of thousands of years, but we're going to start it with the heat one, round one, and the four items in the competition this week to find out which is the best thing ever. Ah, T.S. Eliot's the wasteland, a flint accident made by some guy or other in what is now spain 30,000 years ago, the enchilada and a rudimentary picture of a horse drawn by a four-year-old Marianne Cottyard at nursery school. God, please. You can vote on that.

On every round of this conversation for however fucking long it takes. That section is in the pit. For these guys I believe in you right now make the start. I genuinely feel like one of Mark Chapman's friends. What is it in the sports presenter, Mark Chapman? No, that's it. The man who was to John Lennon bought you the six-one-side will be to marry in Cartier. LAUGHTER

LAUGHTER MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC Top story this week. The US midterms have happened. And they didn't happen quite as f***ing disastrously as everyone seemed to be anticipating.

You were sick! You were sick! Donald Trump's red wave of Republican votes has failed to materialize. And Joe Biden, he president described it as a good day for democracy, by which I think he meant not a f***ing shit day for democracy, which is really all we can hope for around the world these days. It is being viewed, Harry, has got a big blow for Donald Trump and one which could prove a significant setback for his goal of the destruction of all hope and life in the universe. Were you surprised by this, Harry. Well, let me first say that election day in the US

should be held on Halloween, because it is by far the scariest day of the year in this country. I do not trust other people in this country. It's also the day that TV political reporters get to pretend they're weathermen, which I think was their true dream. Do you guys have magic screens in the UK or do you have dignity left in terms of news of going? Oh no, no, no, no, no. We sometimes have full 3D recreations of the country that news presenters wander around. In fact, the, so it's all started with the swingometer. That's right.

And the man who invented the swingometer died this week. It was in his 90s and viewed as one of Britain's greatest suffologist, let's believe. So I mean, this was, I don't know what he would make of this, this, what it's the monster he is unleashed. I mean, look, it was definitely better than it was predicted, right? Because they predicted a red wave and all the right wing places called it a red tsunami. You know, which it wasn't, you know, the Democrats, they didn't completely screw it up.

But the sad thing is regardless of what happens, the human race will likely still be destroyed by climate change, nuclear war, or this is a long shot. Dinosaur's returning to Earth, what was rightfully theirs. So, in the broad scheme of things, this is somewhat irrelevant, but yeah, suppose it was a good day for, it wasn't the worst, but the thing is, it just seems so premature because those Senate races haven't been decided yet. Herschel Walker and Raphael Warnock are still very close. They have to have a runoff election. They're still at close election in Nevada.

It's not decided, so there's still a chance that the Republicans will have the House and the Senate. I don't understand how we're... What are we celebrating exactly? what are we celebrating exactly that that what are we celebrating exactly i don't really understand that um... the hersial walker race by the way with raffle warlock is

uh... very painful to watch uh... i have i'm looking at my notes right now i have a d next to raffle warlock for democrat and i have a D next to Raphael Warnock for Democrat, and I have a D next to Herschel Walker for dummy. He's a former professional football player with no political experience. So of course, Trump endorsed him, because he's like, I deal candidate.

This man is running on family values, even though he has many children that he actually does not know about, it appears. You know how they make that joke? How many kids do you have? Two that I know of, he can't make that joke. Because he actually does not know. And many of the children that he does know exist

have said they will not vote for him including republicans including children of his that are a republicans and he actually has a chance to to be the senator uh... one of the senators uh... from georgia also uh... it should be noted on the family values thing He has been accused of threatening women and paying for abortion, despite obviously being against abortion, but it should be noted that he has multiple personality disorder and he has claimed that it wasn't actually him that did those things. But it's because he has multiple personality disorder, which is the strangest version of Shaggy's It Wasn't Me.

I have ever heard. And really an incredible way to apply corporate law to yourself. Look, it wasn't me, Herschel Walker. It was Herschel Walker limited. But that race is still, despite everything I've just told you, that election still up for grabs. Well, I guess in terms of why people have been more positive about it, from I guess the center, the left and the sort of anti-Trump world, is that the candidates endorsed by Trump seem generally to do a lot worse than was expected.

And Trump himself, the former president, human, ametic and post-apoi-tantramist politics, was reported to be screaming at everyone as the results emerged and showed that the 2020 election result in which he inspired more Americans to vote against their incumbent president than any of his predecessors had ever managed was no fluke. Even if of course we all know it was entirely fraudulent and that 25 million corpses voted for Biden. 300 million votes for Trump to discount it because someone counting votes in Georgia took

a piss in a gender neutral toilet and CNN just put some made up numbers on the screen. Everyone for whatever reason went along with it. We all know that, but the point is that it wasn't a fluke. I mean, Nish, I know you and Donald Trump haven't always seen I too I politically, and you've probably had some very awkward golf days within my imagine. But I mean, I was seeing articles and various papers saying this, you know, this could mark the beginning of the end of the Trump influence on American politics. Is that too early to say, do you think? Well, he was supposed to make an announcement about running for 2024 and now there are

rumours that he may stand that announcement down and he's being encouraged by people in his inner circle not to announce in the immediate aftermath of these results, which as you say, there does seem to be a correlation between candidates Trump supported and maybe them subsequently underperforming. And the Republican party seems to be caught in this very difficult situation where Trump is still very popular with the Republican base. Who are, and I mean, I don't wish to speak ill of people, but at the same time, they are two a man, cunt. Just an absolute pack of flatter thing witch burners. And it's because of this, the so-called red wave didn't materialise,

red wave witch. Let's not beat around the bush. Sounds like a sanitary product. Which feels fair. I would say fairly appropriate given one of the key issues in these elections was women's health care. And surprisingly the Republican position is strongly against. They came out very strongly against the concept of women's health. And that seems to have bitten them in the backside because abortion, which had previously not been a hugely decisive issue in polling around how people were gonna vote in national elections, has now become incredibly important.

And in three states, California, Vermont, and Michigan voters voted to protect abortion rights in their state constitutions. Because that was also something that they were voting on. Because I have to say American democracy is like the film tenet in that it really only makes sense to the people within it Sort of a group of baffled on workers with popcorn dribbling down their chin as their jaws hang open in sheer confusion as to what's going on but I totally get what's happening right now. This makes complete in other sense to me,

an American who is born and raised here, and has witnessed every moment of this last 10 to 20 years. This is exactly as it was written. This makes complete sense. But the scale of the defeat, because it does, at the moment, seem like the Republicans will take control of Congress, and the Senate is probably going to come down to this runoff between Senate is probably going to come down to this runoff between Raphael Warnock and I mean Herschel Walker who is the absolute piz. But all this talk about Trump potentially delay his announcement, that implies a level of self awareness that has never haunted Donald Trump. Say what you will about Donald Trump, he's not a man overly bothered by how people

perceive him. So I mean, I think I still think he will probably announce, but just because the man's got absolutely no sense of himself. A positive thing about it is that the youth turnout was, it had the second highest youth turnout, that is, voters between 18 and 29. In almost three decades, the slightly depressing thing about that is the youth turnout that is voters between 18 and 29. In almost three decades the slightly depressing thing about that is the youth turnout was 27%. Which is obviously sub pub but that age group heavily voted for the Democrats and it was pretty and it's turning out to be quite a decisive group of people. Unfortunately old people seem to hate their children. And that is a real like

political problem that we're seeing all over the world. There is just a generation of people that seem to look at their children and grandchildren and think, you f**king sponging f*****. I have got to do whatever I can to ruin your futures. You've ruined my life, you've ruined my lives. And I'm going to take my revenge on you. And that seems to be the big thing. Global politics throughout the world is just a generation of people who fucking hate their children and grandchildren.

I still think that Trump is in a strong position because they weren't voting against Trump. They were voting against guys that are in Trump that Trump indoors. That's a different thing altogether, you know what I mean? Like that's not just because the, you know, just because Joey, the friend spin-off didn't see that doesn't mean friends as any less popular. All right. This is just a bunch of failed spin-offs, but he's still the big guy. Right, yeah, that's what puts it in harrowing terms.

I don't know, like you, Nish, the more I learn about American politics, the less sense it makes. That said, when you compare it with Indian politics, I think that might be the most confusing thing ever devised by humanity. It is politics is not actually that complicated, Andy. It's just he who bribes the most, wins the most. Isn't it just the British system with just more open bribery. It's honest. It's a more honest form of democracy.

One of the big contested races was what was happening in Pennsylvania. Dr. Oz, the TV doctor, probably one of the few things Oprah has done to harm humanity. Making him and Dr. Phil famous, but he ran for the Senate against John Federman, a Democrat who only wear sweatshirts, which makes him relatable to the average man. Love the hooded politician. Love it. Fantastic.

And he obviously he's white, otherwise that wasn't going to work. And obviously he's white, otherwise that wasn't gonna work. But he had had a stroke, and the big issue was would people vote for Dr. Oz despite the fact he had a stroke, and happily they didn't, even though people were hammering Federman for like, oh, he was slurring during the debates, and he was having trouble remembering things and I'm like

Are you kidding me? I saw them. He sounded fine and also You're worried about people slurring their words and getting confused and not knowing what they're saying we've had Trump George W. Bush and Ronald Reagan as president you're really concerned That this is gonna be a problem. And luckily enough Pennsylvania voters understood that and voted for Federman against, you know, this weird compositor of a doctor and the shamwau guy and Laurie Grineer from QVC. He's a man who sells diet pills on television, and he luckily did not win. In terms of the Democrats,

and what is gonna, we've been talking a lot about Trump and him running for president again, Biden was asked whether he would run again, and he said yes, which initially when I saw the headland, you know, should Biden run, I'm like, absolutely not. I mean, at best, at a man at his age, should be jogging or fast walking, he's way too run to really. And then I was like,

oh, run for president. Absolutely not. No, no, that is a terrible idea. He did something quite strange yesterday. There was a press conference, I think, at the White House, and he was asked a question, and he was just silent for, I'd seem like 10 or 15 seconds. And I know some people would say, well, you know, this is a sign of an old man who maybe doesn't have quite the faculties he would. And I realized what it probably was,

was something that we just don't see in politics now. We've just become completely unused to it. And that is someone thinking about what they were about to say before saying it. And it was so unfamiliar. I just couldn't quite comprehend what or why he was doing it. To be fair, Joe Biden isn't really known

for his tact and carefully deliberating the words. And the only fact he looks reasonable is that Trump absolutely didn't. So Biden's like, man, he takes an extra second before he says something ridiculous. The bar is very live for Strangeloos in that particular job at the moment. As long as he's not got his trousers and pants around his ankles and he's actively flinging his own shit to reporters, he looks like an absolute power dime of normalcy.

If anything, that would race as approval rating. Like, finally, this is entertaining. I missed how entertaining Trump was this is a blast Didn't see this coming. Yeah Biden World star Listen, what are we hoping for are we hoping for the next two years seeing the Republican party tear itself to shreds as they can't choose between Ronda Santis and the Republican Party, tear itself to shreds as they can't choose between Rhonda Santas and the Maga Wing of the Party and its leader Donald Trump. Yes, that's exactly what we're hoping for.

The Humanity's best hope is the Republican Party implodes into itself. There are so many issues currently facing the entire planet and obviously, maybe facing the people of America that are completely dependent on the Republican party having their own internal civil war. So I guess all we could do is encourage that. Ron DeSantis, guess what? I heard Trump saying, your willy was terrible. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. Terribly sized, doesn't it? Way terribly does it smell terribly, is it clear? And it hasn't been filled written on it in pens. At the end of the day, it could have been worse. And surely that is the motto of American democracy.

That is the literal translation of E. Bluribus Adam, it could have been much f***ing worse. His penis was two inches long and seven inches wide. It looked like a brick. I stole that from Kurt Vonnegut. Kurt Vonnegut says something like that in breakfast of champions. One of the funniest things I've ever read in my life. That one phrase.

Harry Kodobalov is maybe the only stand-up in the world who has material overlap with Kurt Vonnegut. You haven't read Kurt Vonnegut's book on cricket stats. Shades ripped off over the end. What does Kurt Vonnegut say when a ball gets past somebody and hits a boundary? He says, so it goes. boundary. He says so it goes. I genuinely can't believe, hurry, that you have the f***ing audacity to accuse Andy of being too obtuse with his coty-ass. How genuinely how dare you accuse him of being obtuse when you have produced a bonnig at cricket joke. You know this isn't me, this isn't me.

This is a Stockholm syndrome, please. This isn't me, man. I've been on the bugle too much, man. This isn't me. I don't talk like this. What happened to me? Okay, something that's a great thing with podcasting as an art form isn't it?

There's a niche for everything and I think this podcast is very much in that niche for Kurt Vonnegut fans who admire the acting work of Marion Cotty R and Big world. There's a niche This podcast is an obtuse fetish. It is one of the really low down categories on PornHub. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Other deranged individuals now, news now, and well the Elon Musk era of Twitter has, well it's begun, some stuff has happened. Musk, when it comes to Twitter, Musk has been very much like a cesium coated walrus belly flopping into a crowded paddling pool.

It's caused total and utter mayhem. It's been a, I mean, it's been an interest. It's been a curie. I mean, he's been baffling the world for a long time, but I think now may be more than ever. Let me, before we go further, let me just say this. This Elon Musk is the perfect reason why I think Nelson Mandela should have been more vengeful. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

He gathered a prison and he was like we have to build we're building a nation and Elon Musk was allowed to keep his wealth and his look what happened you should I'm not saying go full on Edia Meena Mugabe I'm not saying go full on but a little bit you know if you just nip this shit in the bud, we never would have gotten here. Meanwhile, this guy got to do what everyone to do, and now he's storing the world. So you're blaming Nelson Mandela for the fact that the switches become even more toxic in the last couple of months.

You know, I never thought, I'm sure you never thought someone could make such a logical leap, but yes, I am. I am saying that Nelson Mandela was too peaceful, too kind. He had an opportunity to destroy the Boers and he didn't take it. Right. Yeah, it's, I mean, listen, it's not, it's not that he's not had a great week.

It's what I would say. Nelson Mandela or Elon Musk? Well, both philosophically. Nelson Mandela is not yet come back from the dead, so I guess you've got to count that as a bad week. Plus, he's just been blamed by a podcaster for the career of Elon Musk. That's a double L in big nails comment for those workers. I guess I got to cancel that show in Johannesburg now. But yeah, Elon Musk on Twitter is, I mean, it's sort of been a chaotic day today, because he planned to introduce a verification scheme by which Twitter users could pay $8 to get the blue tick that is a stamp of verification on the website.

He, unfortunately, what that led to, because it does suggest that Elon Musk has no experience of Twitter. The way they're going about it, because obviously, inevitably what that led to was a string of people paying the $8 and becoming verified as George Bush, Tony Blair, and various world figures, two fake accounts for Bush and Blair, which had verification presumably purchased through the $8 scheme. Well, having a discussion about how much they missed starting the Iraq war,

that's hilarious. That happened. That happened literally happened. So then in an attempt to fire fight the problem, Twitter has today started blocking new accounts, probably $8.00, Twitter, so currently the only accounts that could, so as things stand today, the only accounts that can pay for Twitter are accounts that already have Twitter for free. Many of whom I imagine already have their blue ticks on it. So it's just been a day of absolute chaos at the end of a week of absolute chaos. Musk has also said that he's as we record he said that they're going to end to it as working from home scheme and that he will be personally reviewing people's reasons for why they need to work from home and you're just like to you genuinely not have enough to do at this point. The reason I think, and a lot of people seem to think he brought it, is because people

are making fun of him on the website. So here's my plan. Let's start slagging mask on the regs. Just every single week on the vehicle, and get him to buy the vehicle. Let's get a cash injection from Elon Musk, a 40 small billion, and let's just start like, hey, Elon, you fucking weird, he looked like you were carved out of ham, but somebody made your face too small for your head. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Andy, don't negotiate. I'm going down. This is exactly the sort of financial planning that's afflicting your own financial status.

Try not to negotiate. The guy paid $44 billion for a website where people just say a picture of cats. I really think we can get more for the people. We'll go 24 million. Billion. Sorry, Billion, Eel. Since he took over Twitter, the Saudi Arabia's Kingdom Holding Company has become the second largest investor in Twitter, and it's just

the latest thing that Saudi Arabia have bought ranging from the concept of golf to Premier League football clubs. And as the old song goes, money can't buy you love, but it can buy you a series of investments that bake your regime into the life and culture of the world in a completely unaccountable fashion. And it, well, I have actually noticed that, I mean, it, there's been talk of a mass, mass exodus from Twitter. And, and, and the, I think the bugle Twitter following has dropped partly, I don't know because I barely post anything on it and people can't be asked for that anymore.

Our people are just going to leave Elon Musk with a $44 dollar Online white elephant which is basically just him Shouting at his own reflection. I mean I Think maybe six to eight months. That is what Twitter will be It's kind of it. It's kind of almost the best practical joke you can imagine He's been 44 billion and everyone collectively agrees that they're done with it at the same time It's real chaos somebody has been Pretending to be somebody has who has paid eight dollars is pretending to be Ben Shapiro and Has entered into a conversation with someone else who's pretending to be Ted Cruz.

And Benjamin Rose tweeted, I've always wondered what a woman's body feels like and looks like in real life without clothes. That would be so cool. To which the fake Ted Cruz has replied, the first time I entered my human wife, I said Growning Intweria, this is exactly how Mother said it would feel. So I mean like, okay, this is what happens when somebody buys something without any knowledge whatsoever

of its internal workings. Any one of us could have told Elon Musk that if you buy Twitter and tried impose things on its user base, all hell will break loose. I think also what we're finding is, and we see this this age of corporate dominance of the world is that there is a force that cannot be beaten and that is the force of human childishness and I think Elon Musk has butted up against that. We saw that with the boaty

boat face thing here a few years ago and I I think, mate, is that all right? That's the only play we've got left as a species against the destruction of our own planet is being unbelievably childish at every possible opportunity. And maybe that's all we need. We don't need love. We don't need to talk to you. How dare you accuse me of childishness, Andy?

Or indeed, any of the three of us of childishness, because we're all verified on Twitter, which means, as I've just found out when I clicked on my own blue tick, that my account is verified because it's notable in government news entertainment or another designated category. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. That's bumped in up to 30 billion.

Um. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Elon, please, just have a wink before you buy something next time. That's what I would say. This is the only thing that makes sense, is Elon was backed up in the sack and made a wild decision. Oh, shit. Well, that brings us to the end of this week's bugle. Don't forget, next week, beginning on Sunday in Leeds, the 13th of November, I'm doing a week of satirist for high gigs, 13th to the 18th, Leeds, Bath, Brighton, Tumberidge Wells, Cardiff and Worcester. If you're

coming, do, I think Cardiff might be sold out in Tom Ridge Wells, very nearly sold out. The homecoming, the homecoming, the homecoming, the homecoming, the homecoming, don't call it a comeback. Yes, in the Trinity Arts Centre, lovely venue, the only place my late grandmother saw me do stand up on, it's fair to say, I was not her favourite comedian. Anyway, that was a long time ago, but do come along to the shows. If you are coming, do send your satirical request for the show to satirize this at satiristforhier.com.

Nish, anything to plug? Australian vehicles, specifically those that live in Melbourne or Sydney, all have sufficient means and interest in getting to Melbourne and Sydney. I will be doing my shows there. The Melbourne show on the 28th of November is sold out and then I'm doing another show on the 29th and then I'm doing a show in Sydney on the 30th and then a show on the 1st of December and all of the tickets for those are available at nishcoma.co.uk.

In a slightly surprised turn of events given that in the southern hemisphere the water goes down the other way down the plug hole, it's I have sold at a surprising pace. There are only about 20 tickets left. Up is down, left is right in Australia, but the tickets have sold at a speed that are surprised, all of us, and include myself and my agents in that conversation. So yeah, there's only about 20 tickets left for the three remaining the three remaining gigs, so I would act quickly. Harry, what have you got coming up? I got tour dates and an announcement tour dates. I'm in Nashville, Tennessee November 15th at Lanna, Georgia on the 16th

Bugle Stronghold Tulsa, Oklahoma on the 17th Tulsa, Bugle, I'm in San Francisco Lawrence, Kansas on November 18th St. Louis on November 19th. If I survive that tour, Olympia Washington, December 13th, Sandy Agove, December 16th to 18th, Tucson, December 19th, Santa Cruz, December 20th, and Sacramento, December 21st, all that, of course, is available on HurryCundabolo.com or Google, Hurrie, and comedian, and you'll figure it out. And the announcement, I am the co-host of the show,

snack versus chef, which premieres on Netflix, on November 30th, with my co-host Meg Stalter, who is on the show Hacks. So if you like the political content of this show, just watch that show so I can make more money. But thank you for listening. Because we have a week off next week, because I'm on tour there will be some bonus sub-bugal

and then we'll be back the following week before I then head to Pakistan. I've done today's show having been jabbed with all manner of diseases yesterday and yeah after that I was feeling a little sluggish before the start which I'm going to blame on a little bit of polio in the arm. We will now play you out with some entries on the Bugal Wall of Fame to join the Bugle Voluntary subscription scheme to make a one-off or a current contribution to help keep the show free, flourishing and independent. Go to the BuglePodcast.com and click the donate button. The Bugle Wall of Fame

Simon Hawkins was the person who suggested to the ancient Greeks that they make the columns on their temples round instead of square. And Paul Browning actually bred a working sphinx unlike the Egyptians who were only able to pretend one out of stone. Finnegan's south he discovered that the south pole was in the wrong place and moved it a couple a hundred miles further south until it actually worked. Mar-How not only invented the balloon but was the first person to make a model of any quadrupedal mammal exclusively out of balloons. Philip Caravilla suggested to Ian Fleming that James Bond should be a secret service agent.

Fleming had originally wanted his character to be a postman. Tom Vestas invented the sofa by accidentally breeding an armchair with a bed during a botched experiment, and Adam Warren was the person responsible for the 3000-metre steeple chase being accepted into the Olympic track and field program, this after he suggested removing the traditional piranhas from the water jump. Jeremy Ackerman Yost launched Elvis Presley on the path to superstardom when he suggested that the singer change his name from Ferny's bludging.

And Thomas Taylor discovered that there is a biological difference after all between chickens and Macrol. and Thomas Taylor discovered that there is a biological difference after all between chickens and mackerel. It had previously been assumed that they were just the same creature adapting to different surroundings. And finally Kevin Leider formalized the sonnet at 14 lines long up from the original six at which pointed it really just been a limbic with an extra line tagged on the end for advertising purposes. Congratulations to all those people for joining the Bugle Wall of Fame. To join them go to the BuglePotcast.com and click the donate button.