The Bugle - McCain, Andy and John plumb new depths with their Obama attack ad

Episode Date: August 2, 2008

The 39th ever Bugle podcast, from 2008. Written and presented by Andy Zaltzman and John OliverThis is a classic episode from The Bugle, to support us, and to keep the Bugle alive and free of ads, please visit http://thebuglepodcast.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dancelaguard fans, you will be thrilled to know a book is coming out if you fund it via Unbound. We are publishing the Dancelaguard Reader by Alice Fraser and Dancelaguard, a glorious insight into the world of Dancelaguard, self-published romance maven, and online bestseller. If you would like to find out how to support it, go to thebugelpodcast.com. If we get enough support, we will publish the book. That's a real thing that's going to happen. Thebugelpodcast.com to support the Danciler Guard Reader. A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A- Audio newspaper for a visual world. Hello, viewers, and welcome to issue 39 of the Bugle for the week beginning August 3rd, 1908. 1908.

Wow, well, that's near enough, isn't it? Are you just lopping a centriol? I was just wishful thinking. I just think it was a happier world. It was about to get a lot unhappy, though. But yeah, I'm just saying, let's go, but let's pretend it's 1908 and not make the same mistakes again. So I'm Andy Zoltzmann and I'm here in Edinburgh, which for comedians for the duration of August is London.

It's Mecca. It's Mecca, only more so, and so and certainly my show without the crushing crowds There's no stamp Easter so the Andy's ultimate And in New York City it's John Oliver. Hello. Hello world. How is Edinburgh? Okai. Okai. Okai. I'll even go so far to say Luneu Andy like doing this bugle on Sunday because of his Edinburgh commitments. And he's trying to do this bugle on the Sunday. It's not going to church. Only instead of aiming to get his to heaven,

we're really going to hell instead. I had to do a wedding greeting Andy this week for an Israeli wedding. Apparently, it's an Israeli tradition to have stra in a celebrity on a given greeting. I could only imagine how devastated the bride and the groom are gonna be

as it's explained to the length who I am. Why I qualify for this position and why I'm just ruined their greatest day. Hello, Shalom. Muzzle tough to the bride and groom. Is it not supposed to be a Jewish celebrity? Or just any celebrity? Yeah, I think it is.

The new qualifiers are celebrity who looks Jewish. I think that's it. I think I'll skate by on that. As always, some sections of the bugle go straight in the bin this week, a section on home lighting, how to make a darker and seem lighter, the wonder of switches, and also a feature on candles and kalashnikovs. We'll tell you how to set the tone for a romantic dinner with an Uzbek guerrilla fighter. And also, we all know that Moths are attracted to lights, John. We all know that and I'm not judging them for it. But we're going to show our listeners this week how to capture four Moths, trap them in a Perspect tank, chucking a ping pong ball, and then using a standard string of household

Christmas lights to maneuver them around. Get them to reenact the classic 1992 Wimbledon Men's Doubles final between Mac and her own stick and Graven Renovurg, which of course Mac and her stick won 1917 in the fifth. The Wonder of Lights. Top story this week, attack! The United States of America, the most indebted and therefore greatest country in the world, is currently in the process of choosing who it wants to be signatory to that debt and when they've chosen that person they may as well be president as well while they're at it.

Really what they're looking for is a guarantor for the $9 trillion debt. That's the most important thing. The presidency is like the free travel bag or carriage clock, which is there as an incentive. And the important thing is that neither side officially has a candidate yet, until the conventions, which are still a couple of weeks away, a barma and McCain are merely the presumptive nominees.

So the campaign is still very much in its infancy, which would explain why the last week was so being so childish. As yet, neither side has called the other a poopy head, but I worry that it's coming, Andy. That would be like 1988 all over again. Do you catch it's never recovered of that? It will get more and more infantile to it, always does. I mean, who not for four years before that, 1994, when Ronald Reagan, in an apparent gesture of conciliation, gave Walter Mondale a hug. Without Mondale realizing that in doing so, Reagan had taped a piece of paper to

the back of his jacket, saying vote for loser. And you know voters, that kind of thing can really affect the way they see people. You don't want to vote for a loser. You don't want to do that. That's right. McCain's campaign has been attacking Obama, left, right, and centre for what they perceive as arrogance. And let's be fair, Andy, they perceive that correctly. They're onto something with that because Obama is running for presidents, which is about as arrogant as it gets. The only problem for the McCain campaign is so is he.

And that was his key mistake. It's a boomerang insult. McCain is also running for president, making him exactly equal in the massively arrogant stakes. History really hasn't thrown up many shy presidential candidates very few world leaders in the past have suffered from low self-esteem Apart from I think Alexander the great apparently clamped up around people and talked to the issues He thought he was a terrible leader. That's why everyone called him Alexander the great They were just trying to give him a bit of a more outboost

Well, it's yeah, but it was different once he got out on the battlefield test That's really where it was most comfortable. It was like Lindsey Davenport on a tennis court. A parmer does have a certain swagger about him. There's no doubt that him planning to give his speech except in the nomination at Mile High Stadium, the 76,000 Cedar home with the Denver Broncos, is a bit flashy. It's a bit flashy, haven't they? That is not necessary. 21,000 of the convention center would have been just fine. Well, I think the Denver Broncos are actually going to be playing a game during it as well.

That'll be the interesting thing. It was a crowd getting spear tackled. There were rumors of the content of his speech. Apparently, he's going to ride onto the stage on a horse that's been spray-bainted gold and will leave afterwards by rocket pack. And there's also claims that he plans to refer to people in the speeches, puny humans. Does seem arrogant. But people want firm leadership in this day

and age and we live in an uncertain world and we want someone who's going to treat us like a despotic alien and I think you know he can tap into that. I'm hoping that during this speech at the stadium John he will snake out a 14 foot long tongue and just eat someone out of the crowd. Just I think that's just something that will establish his control over the American people. Send a message. Send a message to the American people. Go, right, next time it could be you.

It's a powerful image. It's a very powerful. Well, not quite as powerful though, as aligning Barack Obama with Britney Spears and Parrot Hilton as the McCain campaign did in one of their attack ads. People say this was a bit childish and not really fair and I guess Spears has relatively little government experience so there's a kind of similarity also she's yet to provide hard financial figures to back up her songs. It's been a very divisive political figure Britney Spears. To be fair, the not so subtle

subtext of her 2007 album Blackouts was a series of energy saving but controversial environmental measures, including the title track which called for a blackout in Canada during the winter months. And if you listen carefully, you can hear the backing singers singing they might as well hibernate. There's a lot of similarity between Obama and Paris Hilton as well, one they've never won a major golf title, two they're both taller standing up than sitting down,, they both saw Charles and Charge on television and liked it, but can't remember the name of the guy who played Charles. Four, they both disapprove of genocide, so

that's good. Five, they're both scared of teradactyls, and six, they've both dreamt about how funny it would be to turn up to a party with a rhinoceros' head on, but then never refer to it and see what happens. This week saw a series of attack at the Norkayne campaign mocking a barmer's popularity and the one with Britney Spears and Prior to the Olden was titled Celeb and another one recently has compared him to Moses and McCain said it's important to display a sense of humor which is true and it's even more important to show a good one. He said that he's proud of these adverts and his 96 year old mom very hopefully responded

by saying the adverts, and his 96-year-old mom, very hopefully responded by saying the adverts, was stupid. He's tried everything to make himself appear younger than that he is, and his mom really has become the secret weapon, not only because she's still alive, which I think it was there, the initial tactic, but because whenever she stands as an actor and says things like that, which is surprisingly often

for the controlled campaign that it is, he does look like a naughty child. Oh, mom, my kind has been complaining to assess things like that, which is surprisingly often for the controlled campaign that it is. He does look like a naughty child. Oh, mom. McCain has been complaining that he isn't getting any attention from the media, and unfortunately now he's not even getting any attention from his own political ads that he is paying for. In fact, the last eight of his ten ads have barely featured him at all. He can't even get into his own commercials.

And when he does, he's just weird weird one of his recent slogans was an American president for America and sending aside the slightly worrying under tongue to that That isn't a proposal that's just the constitution you have to be American It's the one thing holding me back from taking my rightful seat in the White House I'm never be president Andy me back from taking my rightful seat in the White House. I'll never be president Andy, it kills me to say that and even while I'll never be quitting either. And don't try to

placate me by saying that I could be king, I don't want to be king, I want to be queen. But we're not so familiar with attack ads in Britain, John. I thought I was watching an attack ad against Gordon Brown the other day, but it turned out it was just the news. But I think maybe it's time for us to try and launch the attack ads to British audience. So I've actually written an attack ad about you, John. Oh yeah, give me a best shot. All right, well, here it is. John Oliver is the real Richard Nixon, but more so. He's a man who comes from the same continent to Spanish dictator Franco. He's a man who may never have shoved an old woman into the path of a train, but he has certainly never stopped an old woman being shoved in front of a train.

He's a man who shamelessly urinates at least three times a week and revels in eating the flesh of dead animals, sometimes in sandwiches, and this is the worst part, sometimes not. This is the man in whose lifetime more than one billion people have died. John Oliver has never publicly expressed his opinion to the compulsory execution of all women who frowned in public, and who despite having had ample opportunity over the years has never ruled out releasing nerve gas during the Super Bowl. And even worse, John Oliver was once a member of the British National Youth Theatre. Is this the kind of man you want presenting the bugle? You might as well get Paul Potter recorded podcast about hedge trimming. Take that, John.

Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, I just wish that I'd prepared to the tack ads in response of my own Andy. Hit it! Andy Zoltzmann Andy Zoltzmann, if that is his real name, chooses to live in London, England. The very place where just 160 short years ago, the communist manifesto was written. Coincidence?

Impossible. When it isn't plotting the destruction of the bourgeoisie, he's less civiously fantasizing about Florence Nightingale. Family man-missed assultman? Or crimey and warfare fetishist? Plus, can you really trust a man who so irresponsibly lost his own bin? And his ultimate. Careless with bins.

Careless with our lives. I'm John Oliver and I approve this message. Well, we're both looking in trouble here. Next week's bugle could feature neither of us. Gordon Brown News now and Gordon Brown is under increasing pressure. John Anathis has been big news in the States. But Foreign Secretary David Miller banned was viewed by the press to be maneuvering himself for a leadership bid. Basically our political press are so irredeemably pure oil here as well John, that all cabinet ministers are now considered to be plotting against the Prime Minister,

if they so much as complete a single sentence without saying what a fantastic job Gordon Brown is doing, or without inferring that they fancy Brown and would like to kiss him on his peachy cheeks. Brown to me John, well he is struggling, he does slightly resemble a golfer who continues looking for a lost ball that he shanked off the course. Even after everyone else has gone home, the golf course has been sold off to the developers and turned it on oil refinery and Armageddon has come and destroyed the entire human race. And he's still there. It can't be that far off the course, it felt fine off the club. The conservatives are sitting increasingly pretty on top of the polls, but I basically

doing nothing. All you have to do really is an opposition politician in Britain now is say, oh no it isn't every couple of days and then avoid PR gaffes like getting a swastika tattoo above the collar line of your shirts Getting your wang out in front of the queen or calling for a jihad and if you don't do those three things You're pretty much okay because that collar line is so important. Yeah It is very important doesn't below you can get away with it. And in other leadership news, Ehud Olmertz, the Israeli leader, is to step down, a man who has had more scandals than a dyslexic shoe shop owner. Touch me, I'm real.

Hahaha. Queen Victoria's Nickers news now, and an old pair of Queen Victoria's Nickers, or pants as we call them in Britain, has been sold an auction for £4.5,000 which sounds quite a lot for a pair of pants John but to be fair there was quite a lot of pant she had in layman's terms a big bot. The great Queen had a 50-inch waist and a 65-inch chest which argument made her a bad role model for a country that has a tendency towards obesity, but we forgive her due to her other virtues as a Queen. She also had another pair of lucky pants that she actually wore whenever

the British army were having a big battle, thus starting a royal tradition whereby every year on the first week of August the monarch gives a tent made out of his or her undies to a local scout group, who were then allowed to camp out in the royal drawers in the grounds of Windsor Castle. This did of course lead to problems in the reign of Ed with the eighth, the notorious adeviant sex enthusiast, who made a tent out of leather thongs and a metal jockstrap that conducted lightning and led to the electrocution of six cobscouts. But Andy, this is the style of Queen Victoria's underwear. But this is unquestionably the lead story of

the week. Why on earth are we burying it so far down the bugle order? What are you frightened of, Sultzman? This is a huge story that deserves to be heard. The underpants got sold for £4,500 and all I can say is, I'm sorry Andy, I went up to £4,300 but then I had to pull out. There is no single object in the world I wanted to buy you more. I've already got one of Queen Victoria's bras, John. It's not the car under it. It's not the same. It would have been an amazing scene just to present a wrapped presence to you. Have you opened it? Go, what are these? Those are Queen Victoria's knickers. Nailed them to the wall. You are welcome.

It's something I could do with really, because I have had quite a lot of complaints from my neighbours in London about the giant nude Queen Victoria that I have outside our house. Let's have police put some pants on. It's, she's showing too much. Orcioneer Charles Hanson said, these pants, considering their provenance and pedigree,

are very exciting. Or Charles, you're f***ing right there, exciting! They're the most f***ing exciting pants that have ever been f***ing sold! They should be on you flag! Well, I'm not sure if there's a flagpole big enough in the country to take them, John. Proof of Queen Victoria's gigantic posterior comes from Poet Laurel Alfred Lord Tennyson, or as I've always thought of him the grandfather of England cricket captain Lionel Tennyson. Let's put each man on his rifle pedestal, John.

But anyway, here is a recording made on wax cylinders of Tennyson reading his last ever poem, a tribute to Queen Victoria. This was recorded the day before his death in 1892. I am Alfred Lord Tennyson, Poet laureate and inventor of the breakfast buffet. Here is my new poem. I like big butts and I cannot nay, will not lie. All you other of my brothers cannot deny that when Queen Victoria walks in with that it's some bit some waste and around thing verily in your face. You get sprung, wasn't too direct

was it? Well wait till you hear the rest of it. Bugle Feature section now and the Olympics is nearly upon us. Get ready to see the finest athletes in the world running, jumping, throwing things and then urinating into cups. Cause let's not forget Andy, this is also a great time for fans of urinating into cups. It looks like the Jamaican sprinter you've seen Bolt could be the star of the games. What a name for a sprinter to have, John. That's great, it's Bolt. To the me that is the most appropriate name for a sprinter.

Since the Yugoslavian 100m gold medalist from 1952, there's one of me of us as a vuck. What a runner he was. What a great he was. What an agree, a supervalve appropriate name. There were real criticism of the internet restrictions that journalists are being placed under in Beijing, and you would be in real trouble over there

at the moment, Andy. You would have no facts, no facts. You'd be swimming in an ocean of guesswork. Oh God, I still get flashbacks of that. Those days before WikiFedia. Also, the greatest piece of putting an athlete under a pressure I've ever witnessed was issued by the State General Administration of Sports in China who told their top athlete this 110 metre hurdle run a Lou that if he cannot win another

gold medal in Beijing and I quote all of his previous achievements will become meaningless and I don't think they just meant sports. I think they're basically going to just throw a race his entire life. So he's going to want to win that race. I will certainly be watching the 110 metre hurdle for the first time. And since Colin Jackson said goodbye. Well, there's a lot to look forward to in the Olympics. Johnson, amazing pioneering developments.

They're expected to feature during the Beijing games. The javelin can be much more exciting than usual because it's being done rather than everyone throwing in a competition. It's being done on a one-on-one knockout basis. Now where the javelin throws will stand at opposite ends of the stadium and just hurl javelins at each other until one of them gets skewed. And the winner is the last javelin thrower standing. Well, let's face it. You know, once you've seen one spear fly through the sky in land about 80 metres away, you've seen them all. But you'll never tire of seeing giants, men, being skewed by javelins. Other developments expected to feature during the

Olympics are a new high-tech swimming costume with an outboard motor, since starting to use it in February the Dutch-Shur Olympics swimmer Peter van den Hugenbant as broken 35 world records in both men's and women's events, before he crashed into a fishing boat at 120 miles an hour last week while swimming across the North Sea and hurt his head. Also a new event in the Olympics, the 4x systematic repression of political descent relay, Chinese very much favourites for that. Also a new medal will feature John, it's been recently discovered by scientists. It's halfway between Brom's and Silver and is awarded to athletes who try really hard.

And we have a special Bugle Olympics quiz question now and if you get this question right, you win a special Olympics prize which is the former American gymnast Mary Lou Reffen. And the question is this, many have complained that the Olympic Games had become too big. The first modern Olympics in Athens in 1896 featured 241 participants from 14 countries competing in a total of 42 events. 112 years later in Beijing, there will be approximately 11,000 competitors from 203 nations competing in 301 events. If the Olympics keeps expanding at the same rate and Beijing hosts the games again in another 112 years, in 2120, how many competitors from how many nations will be competing in how many events? Is it a only 19 competitors but from 2 million different nations competing in half a billion different sports? Will it be exactly 10 billion competitors but from

only one nation all throwing dogs into a lake? Will it be C 502,000 competitors from almost 3,000 nations competing in 2,200 different sports including speed surgery and desalignum's unicycle mayhem. Or D, none, the Olympics will cease after London 2012 for two reasons, one, New London Mayor Boris Johnson and two, Armageddon. A, B, C, or D. And the correct answer is C. John, there will be 502,000 competitors at the 2120 Olympics. So we do hope those you've got it right, enjoy the use of Mary Lou Rettingies, stock orders, supple and flexible as she was in 1984, but tremendous cook makes a lovely case, not too eggy.

And to mark the Olympics, as the Olympics goes on for the next two weeks we will have an Olympic prize quiz every week. Now stop screaming, it's gonna happen. Whether you like it or not. Your emails now and here is a hot-y from history, nomination from Zach Martz, who says, dear John and Andy, I've got a nomination for hot-y from history that you will lose your scalp over. A female so hot, she encouraged a birthing America to decisively cut the cord from its controlling mother, i.e. Great Britain. A true hotty who died young, so forever remains hot and voluptuous fraternity.

That is finding the positive there. Who is this extreme American hotty? None other than Jane McCray. Being a super hotty, McCray's death at the hands of British allied, Iraq one natives inspired thousands of young, horny Americans to join the rebel cause out of fear of losing all the top-notch TNA in the colonies.

Besides the legions of truth, her death rallied. It was the way in which she died to this truly hot, strapping andy. Legend has it that when Demi Godess, James McRae was captured by the Rockwa, she was fought over by two warriors, unable to decide who would win this revolutionary Helen, the two young warriors did what anybody would do when fighting a woman, they scout her! Oh yeah! Even British General Bagon was outraged by this loss of super-last Queen McRae, however like any true Brit, after calling for the warrior's execution instead pardoned him.

There you have it, a woman so hot that even dead and scalpless she caused enough erotic dreams to inspire R.C. Yanks to kick out your spineless and seemingly unicancestors. But wait, he says, it doesn't end there. Get this is, this is where it really kicks in Andy. In 2003, archaeologists assumed her grave only to find but what? The cheat been spending over 200 years in the co-op-sified arms of another woman. Sarah look Neil! Oh baby yeah!

In order to preserve America from collapsing from an overdose of steamy, revolutionary lesbian overhotness, the two women were re-buried in separate graves. Macrae's grave was even surrounded by 8-foot high pointy iron fence to ward off the horny hooligans who commonly prowl near the graveyard. This woman cannot help but raise flags all over America even two centuries after a death. John and Andy, I give you Jane McRae, a truly revolutionary, hotting from history. Wow, Zach, that is her hell of a story.

I need a cold shower. After that. And it's just raised an interesting question, was it, in fact, the Boston T&A party? And another hotting from history nomination. Dear the bugle, I humbly submit to you a pasty proselytizing puzzling prehistoric pernicious promiscuous profligate papyrist. I refer, of course, to the Pope. And now the Pope would fit the post better than Pope John the twelfth, who is noted for his evil and corruption. He actually turned the Basilic

Ruffian John latter into a brothel. Nailed his niece, castrated gardenals, blinded Benedict, his confessor, drank to the devil and other various fornications. He died the way he lived in the middle of some steamy adultery. Now if that promiscuous of papers he doesn't get your robes ruffled, I simply don't know what will. Thanks, Abuggler. PS, I would sign the email, but I'd get excommunicated. Oh boy, that this has come from a bugle fan inside the Vatican. Another email here concerning the love calculator that I mentioned a couple of weeks ago and it's from Emily Marlow. It says, Dear John and Andy, in episode 36, John mentioned the site he used which calculated the chances of a successful relationship between Barack

Obama and the media. I was intrigued by this and decided to put the names John Oliver and Andy Zoltzman into the love calculator. Brace yourselves, Andy, what do you think? What percentage chance do you think we have of a successful relationship? Um, hoping we're around about one percent. What are you talking about? Oh, John, I'm incredibly hurtful. I'm happily married. Yeah, well, I'm having a major job. I'm incredibly hurtful. I'm happily married. Yeah, well, I'm getting old. You personally, I just want to stay friends.

I don't want to take it to the next level. This relationship has gone stagnant, Andy. You've got to push it forward. Let's keep it alive. It's just hard, long distance, as well, John. You're right, it is difficult, Andy. But the fact is, Dr. Love has claimed that we have a 41% job.

That's a successful relationship. Still better than most marriages. Still better than a lot of the reviews we got on the yesterday life, day, day, day, day, day. That is also true. According to Dr Love, the chance of a relationship working out between Andy's ultimate and John Oliver is not very big, but a relationship is very well possible if the two of you really wanted to and are prepared to make some sacrifices for it.

Probably not. You'll have to spend a lot of quality time together. and are prepared to make some sacrifices for it. Probably not. You'll have to spend a lot of quality time together, that's going to be difficult. And he says, you must be aware of the fact that this relationship might not work out at all no matter how much time you invest in it. And she said, I hope this does not held the end of the bugle as we know it. And it goes on, say, if it's any consolation, John, and he's chance of a good relationship with Florence Neuysigale is even slimmer, a poultry 11%. Really? 11% Andy. Well that's not what she's been saying to me, not in girl, in my dream. I guess I think you and Florence Nightingale, it'd be one of those relationships where it

is just physical, but you just cannot stand each other. It's just raw animal rutting, followed by just both of you kind of sending each other on their way. It's just a magnetism, but which isn't backed up with any kind of emotional compatibility. Right, Ronald and Nancy Reagan. So thanks very much for all of your emails. Do please keep them flooding in to the google at times online.co.uk or else Or else what? You canco.uk or else. Or else what?

You can't just say, or else what Andy? You're going to play that leaf. I like to leave that hanging, John. Sport now and the saga of Green Bay Packers Quarterback Brett Favre continues. First he retired, then he burst into tears, then he came out of retirement, then he retired again a few months ago, then burst into even more tears, then announced that he wanted to come back and now Green Bay are offering him a deal not to play. And the plan might be to offer him $20 million to not play American football.

It is strong off. I mean, I have to say that I've been, it's what I'm willing to undercut him. I'm planning on low-balling for. And I'm, I'm currently informing the Greenback Packers that I will take a mere $17 million to never play football again or for the first time for them. Also, I mean, I think I would be terrible at American football and probably bring the game into some disrepute. And by pulling on a green bay jersey, I think I could do some damage to the franchise. So, I mean, really, it's definitely best that I'm kept away from their summer camp. And everything has its price.

That's the American dream. So get back to me, green by. Apparently, these Cincinnati Bengals are paying awesome, have been lard and $25 million a year not to play for them, because of how bad it would be for PR. Yeah, I mean, it's difficult though, isn't it? Because I mean, he'd fill the stadium. Yeah, it's definitely. In terms of bombs on seats, I think people

really want to see him over here. And he would certainly open up some lanes. So I think he would get caught a lot of attention from the opposing defense. So I mean, he'd be like a magnet. But they would certainly come in for some criticism for it. You're right. Some very solemn British sports news now.

And Michael Vaughn is no longer England cricket captain. Are you okay, under? Just sit by your computers and the white further instructions. John, I don't know if our American listeners realise quite what a momentous event it is when a wadding-be picked up and lose on to. They don't have any better places. It's kind of like for America, it'll be like losing your president and you know all of the

top MLB players and Oprah Winfrey in one single of us crash. Steady on. But we know you're hurting. That's gonna be a state funeral for Michael Vaughn's captancy next week, where a video of the 2005 Ashes series will be paraded very slowly around London behind a horse drawn carriage.

He didn't really play very well in those Ashes though to be handy. I don't know, I've got the job done effectively. Keennings in the third test. Now it's not the time for Chris Arsene. It's the time for Eulogy's under you, right? Yep. And Olympics anniversary now, 72 years ago today,

John Jesse Owens won the 100 meters at Berlin, sparking one of the most misunderstood actions in sports history as Hitler rose from his seat, shouting, oh, look at him run, look at his little legs! And in his excitement, stretched out his arm to give Owens a congratulatory high five. That's according to controversial historian David Irving's new history of athletics. That's right, he really criticized Owens, didn't he?

For leaving Hitler hanging on that high five and the history could have been very different if Owens had just given in the top love that was requested. And also in sport, the X Games continues all week. How do you know that's happening? I've flicked it, I've flicked over it last night. And is there anything stranger than the sight of 40-year-old men on BMX's? The X Games is the only place that that is acceptable and not really creepy. A grown man on a BMX as people shout, oh that was sick, I didn't. I was saying that all the time how sick everything was.

That was a sick, sick 220. Everything was sick, I presume it was good, they sounded happy. I have to say though, it is really fun when I smashed their heads into the floor. I will admit that, it is really funny when they face plant down. So I enjoy it for that. That's it from the Bugle this week just time for our Bugle forecasts and well since it

is the X Games the unquestionable sporting social and showbiz event of a year. John how many faces do you think are going to get planted in the X Games this week? There are going to be at least... well, there's one now. I think there's going to be at least 50 faces planted there and they're all going to be sick. Every face planted is going to be a sick face, sickly planted. Right, well that's probably because once you've planted a face, you have to water it on a daily basis. Otherwise, it does get sick. I think this... We're going to be more faces planted in this week than in the history of the exegames put together.

I just think the world needs more faces planted. The skateboarding as well, and you can face plant with that. And there's motorcycles, and you can face plant with a motorcycle. To be honest, that kind of face planting is a little too heavy for me. Ha ha ha ha. Well, I'm going to plant my face. Yeah. Oh, do it.

Defy anyone to stop with. Sick. Sick. Yeah, very sick. Have a sick week, Bueglis. Real sick. Yep. If symptoms persist, do consult a doctor.

Give it two days of your feeling really sick. But do go and see a doctor. Bye! Cheerio! you