The Bugle - Nazi Game Shows

Episode Date: June 24, 2022

Andy is with Nish Kumar and Neil Delamere to look at elections across the world, strikes and Russia's worst spy.We run no advertising, you keep us going!Support us via our website with a regular or one off donationBuy a loved one Bugle Merch Follow us on YouTube or Insta and see parts of this show with actual video.The Bugle is hosted this week by:Andy ZaltzmanNish KumarNeil DelamereAnd produced by Chris Skinner Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dancelaguard fans, you will be thrilled to know a book is coming out if you fund it via Unbound. We are publishing the Dancelaguard Reader by Alice Fraser and Dancelaguard, a glorious insight into the world of Dancelaguard, self-published romance maven, and online bestseller. If you would like to find out how to support it, go to thebugelpodcast.com. If we get enough support, we will publish the book. That's a real thing that's going to happen. Thebugelpodcast.com to support the Danciler Guard Reader. A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A- Audio newspaper for a visual world. Hello, viewers, and welcome to issue 4,234 of the universe's leading and only audio newspaper for a visual world. I am Andy Zoltzmann here in the second half of the solar year. It is the 22nd of June 2022, as we record so yesterday was mid summer for well I mean a democratic majority of the world

it is it is mid summer and I respect democracy and people in the southern hemisphere are frankly wrong so are we at the halfway point of the solar year or simply a metaphorical tipping point into a spiral of the unavoidable encroachment of darkness. Or has it merely just been the one time of the f***ing year that you f***ing hensh that you'll spend all that money on? Actually f***ing works. Peacefully. What the f*** are you the judge? Joining me to see in the second half of the 2022 solar year.

I'm joined by Nishkoobar and Neil Delamere. Hello, both of you. How was your midsummer? Hello, Andy. Hello, Neil. Hello, Chris. Hello, Bouglass. First things first, it's very hot in my house. I'd say it's ****ing boiling. And so for the first time I am bugling trousers. And I'm interested in whether that allows me to fly through the bullshit in a more aerodynamic I'm still wearing underpants. But I'll be honest with you it was a close-run thing. It was a very close-run thing. As it is I'm wearing t-shirt and underpants and I'm interested to know whether this allows me to fly through the bullshit more aerodynamically

Prepared for a fast movement. Well, this is a massive coincidence because I watch John Cena's new show last night and John Bugling trousers was John Cena's signature wrestling move Also, I did actually go to a mid-summer festival. I, old school vehicles will be familiar that just every so often I get a job that nobody really understands what it is, but it allows me to do some wild and cool shit. And so I'm filming a travel programmer at the moment with Josh Widdickham because it's legally required that I film the travel show with one white comedian. So, last time it was Joel Dome at this time it was Josh Ridicum.

And I was in Northern Ireland and I met some mummers who were kind of keepers of ancient Celtic storytelling and they were wicker baskets over their head. We sort of participated in a, it wasn't actually on the day but a sort of cod solstice festival and they were such nice people and it was a really incredible experience But what it always reminds me of is man white people are into some weird shit like historically Historically white people are into some weird and wild shit You're a lot weirder than you allow yourselves to be given credit for Well, it's time for me to reveal that that mummer's thing has only existed since You're a lot weirder than you allow yourselves to be given credit for. Well, it's time for me to reveal that that mummer's thing has only existed since 2012.

We had a particularly poor trappatonny led to Republic of Ireland team and a North thing get into it. I remember you did that, you know, it was 2016. So now we just do random stuff like that. You were the first person we've ever tried to know on, I can't believe it actually worked. I like the idea that increasingly people are trying to come up with traditions that can feature on British comedian travel shows. It's interesting you mentioned that the cod solstice there, which is slightly different to the land-based solstice that we have called Celebrator. which is slightly different to the land-based solstice that we have called Celebrator. I think five days later, due to taking a little longer for the seas to warm up.

Wasn't there a big row between the UK and Iceland about when the card solstice actually was? I don't think there was. And they use hinges ironically made of fried chip potatoes. made of fried chip potatoes. So we look at some of the less high profile festivals that people will be pitching their tents at around the world this summer, including the giant parsnip, the Root vegetable theme festival is back held this year at the Flobst and Mana in West Grunchy. Music acts include the Spuds, Hip Hop, Brass Band, Crossover Sensations,

Betty Beats and the Tuba Tubers, Max Metallus, potatoes of the Hecatume, and the controversial agrarian religion rockers, the Colt Rabbis. The Cabaret Tensies, the agriculture culture was character preprovocator Jerry Saillib, the anti-woke artichoke, alongside always threatening Dicon and Burlesque troupe the Rar-ar radishes, plus a quick turn from a sad clown,

fun in the engine, and don't miss the horse radish dress I'll show that is simply sensational. Also another festival that we look ahead to is the self-proclaimed world quietest music festival which promises quite literally to rock you to sleep. The headline slots this year are filled by American anti-thrash stadium stillers sonnolette subjudicates the rising stars of the Dol Drum and Basin, and the 1960s sole legend P.P. Arnold finally, finally living up to her initials. Also, Catnap rapper Paul's for thought appears in the HIPNO hop tent, and don't miss the long-awaited reunion of Folk Duo Muffles and Hush with support slots from Tributax,

Tranquilizer Carthy, and Mogadon McLean. There's the 12-bar snooze blue star, soothing J. Snorkins and of course S-Club 7 are back, turns out the S stood for slumber. Is of course in competition with the Lulli by loser festival, but it just shows what a market there is for this kind of stuff in our hectic caffeine-addled over work-twelled. And of course there's atwood stock coming up in a couple of against time. That's a festival based on the works of Margaret Atwood, which you possibly a little bit harrowing, I'd avoid it while we, that section in the bin.

We are recording, as I said, on the 22nd of June. Tomorrow, 23rd of June is the anniversary of a bad day in the life of Henry Hudson, the North America exploration star. In 1611 on the 23rd of June, his mutinous crew set him a drift in an open boat with his son and seven other crew members in Hudson Bay in Canada. Now, I imagine there was some pretty awkward conversations on that boat between Hudson, his son and those seven other crew members possibly involving the words, well, it's fucking named after you. You should know your fucking way out of it.

But they were ever heard from again. It was pre-instagram days, of course. It's not entirely clear what happened. There was no 24-hour TV news either in those days. But you know, it may also have involved the words boss by any chance. Could you name at least some geographical feature after someone who isn't f***ing you? This lack of closure over what exactly happened to Hudson does leave open the tantalising possibility that he might still be alive because Hudson Bay is pretty big. So it's entirely feasible that they've just been living low, possibly out of fear of having to explain to their bosses at the East India company

Exactly how things went so badly wrong And let's not forget you know, they're probably living in quite a healthy diet mostly fish and It's possible you know, I mean that would be I think that would be a good story if You know 411 years on Henry Hudson turned up, wherever he was going. So do you need us in this at all? Not really, not not, well actually we do now because we are moving on to top story this week. Democracy around the world is causing trouble in quite a lot of places,

particularly France. It's been a bad election this week for Emmanuel Macron. Just two months after he retained the presidency's lost control of the French national assembly, the FNAH, after an election which left his centrist coalition at the mercy of the left and the right wing the left and right wings of French politics with both which both made gains Neil you are European democracy correspondent as you are as you are Irish you are still

in Europe. And I know this whole Britain is heroically, gloriously free of that benign content. How did you enjoy the French election this week? Well, I can't believe this. On this show, we're going to be talking about a real strike, a barista strike, a health work strike, and a teacher strike. And it's not in the French part of the show. This is the bugle, switching things up since 2005. Yeah, so this is a very interesting story because Le Pen Seat, I think this is the most

interesting part of it. Le Pen Seat from the far right, I've gone from 8 to over 80, 89 seats. So that is a serious result for her and some coincidence because if you look at that on a graph, it goes up at the same angle that some of our friends hold their arms. It's a tenfold increase, right? So if that rate of growth continues, she's going to have about 900 of the 577 available seats at an X-delection, which is a serious achievement. Macron does know what he's doing at this stage because like you said, he won the presidency

but lost his majority. So the French people have spoken and what they've said is we want you to be the president and when you are do nothing you will do nothing whatsoever It's like being elected a pope and then we're like someone said But we're gonna we're gonna phase out mass So basically you're gonna be waving and kissing time act that that's pretty much all you're gonna do So he has to approach every single bill, bill by bill, by the looks of things, or possibly, and

the Republicans, the Conservatives are being described as king makers, which in France, not necessarily what you'd want, you will be in power, but we will decapitate your entire family and things of poverty, Swingson roundabout. But I have enjoyed it immensely watching from afar. Fennart is a perfect word for the situation because Macron has got a nut shot from the French electorate. And Fennart is the perfect noise to describe what you make when you get hit in the nuts. It's FNAG! FNAG! LAUGHTER Several French newspapers this morning have

described France as being ungovernable. And I guess I would say, plus sashange, mes amis, plus sashange. This, this, yeah, the most concerning thing about all of this is that Marie Le Pen and her far right National Rally party were in a good mood. And listen, very little positive happens when Nazis are in good moods. I don't know if we have to say a ledge Nazis, but I'll leave that up to Chris.

But what I will say is, if you walk down the street and you see a chuckle in Nazi very little good has happened. Very little good has happened in that situation. You see a big grin on Hitler's face. Nothing positive has happened for wider society. The, I'm as far as I France is not entirely contant with its silt at the moment. Have you been watching Allo Allo and the police man in particular? This episode of the bugle is sponsored by the Pink Panther. The turnout was 46 per cent. Oh, mailed.

And since the fourth round of national elections this year, so I mean, a bit of pencil fatigue is clearly setting in in France. The new Prime Minister is going to be whoever left the sugarbeabs last. That gets very complex philosophically, I think. A professional constitutional law, Dominique Rousseau, was quoted as saying, these five years for Mr. Macaron will be all about negotiations and compromise. And you might be forgiven for thinking, isn't that what all politics should be about in a grown-up world of cooperation for the common good? But that is not how democracy works,

not how it should work. Negotiations compromise are fatal signs of weakness. And as you said, this idea that France was gonna be ungovernable, the economy minister Bruno Lamar said it was not going to be ungovernable, but said it would require a lot of imagination. And could this be what global politics needs?

It's kind of surrealism and whimsical flights of fancy in high office, magic benches for all, a secret portal somewhere in the door, doing that transports the people of France to a land of giant butterflies that lay eggs made of foie gras of singing cheeses and of 1980s rugby. This could be a brighter future that humanity has been crying out for.

Vote Dali. Vote Dali! Vote Dali and vote often! Preferably whilst writing your vote with a courgette! A melding courgette. Yeah, for Dali, when? With nowhere of actually measuring time. I'm offended. I'm misrelent invention because my clock melted.

He's never going to get any of the things he wants through. He wants to raise the retirement age from 62 to 65. And how to say it, I thought most people thought that that was about balancing the books. I think it's his mates and the pub gone. You're a shagging a pensioner. He's not far along. One of the positive stories. And that's very long. One of the positive stories, so another block of seats, big block of seats, was won by the new leftist coalition. They won 131 seats and they are calling themselves NOOPS, which is not a great name because it does sound like slang for a sexually transmitted disease. Although we do have to remember

this is France, and that is seen as a positive thing. It sounds to the new ecological and social popular union, and I think that it's very welcome that they've won a lot of seats, but that is the kind of opinion that normally leads to me being described as a communist in the Daily Mail. But what are the...

Any opinion leads to that to give me a bit of a sense. I like bread oh, Kami I I one of the MPs who's been elected is Rachel Keke who's been elected and who has vowed to dance in the assembly

if she succeeded in winning that which I am hoping that she is going to be held to that standard but anyway she defeated the former sports minister. She was actually a former hotel chambermaid. And she said that she hopes this will give other chambermaids the confidence not to undervalue themselves. Now, first of all, we need to knit this in the bud. Everybody knows that if you have experience

of actually doing a job in the real world, that has no place in politics. That is not the route we want. We want people to come into politics either because they're parents for politicians or because they went to an elite university and then worked for a think tank that has investigated the possibility of burning the poor for fuel. That is the true route into politics, not this experience of actually doing a working class job. I mean, burning the poor for fuel, I think it's a rather outdated idea.

That was not meant surely now we'd sort of, you know, try and mulch them down and do it in a more environmentally friendly way. I think we finally investigate zero carbon solutions for using the porous fuel. If you want to rig a boat or to close the boat, it can't be that difficult to stop the chamber, the moment you used to be the chambermate. I think she led the chambermate's union, didn't she? Coming into the actual chamber, like a small do not disturb sign on the outside of the French National Assembly and boom you get your bill passed

I'm thinking I'm moving across the Atlantic. Colombia has elected its first leftist president Gustavo Petro, he beat off the challenge of Rodolfo Hernandez, who was described as a Gaff-prone media mogul. Well done, Columbia, for at least paying some attention towards going on in the rest of the world, but well dosed, or at least a bullet, well delayed. Follows a recent trend of wins. It follows a recent trend of wins for left-wing candidates in South and Central America and Peru, Chile and Honduras. Petro ran on a pro-environment anti-in-equality ticket, shamelessly trying to ingratiate himself with the future. And he took it off of his victory. Today is a party for the people. And he said these words,

may so many sufferings be cushioned in the joy that today floods the heart of the homeland. And that was an unusually poetic response to an election victory compared with Boris Johnson, just singing, I'm horny, horny, horny. Who wants a job? Who wants a job? Compared to Boris Johnson's attempts to change the national anthem to sex bomb by Tom Jones. So I carry on. It's a pretty extraordinary thing to see Columbia be faced with the prospect of a nationalist gaff-prone demagogue with funny hair and go nah

And you know why it's because the Colombians are fucking gutless have the courage to tank your country for comedy values Britain did it America did it and now Colombia's like, oh, no, we're gonna like someone that wants to make people's lives better. You're f**king pussies. Yeah. Yeah. I, Columbia is a nation of pussies and you can quote me on that. And I'm pretty sure there's never been any negative connotations for anyone saying bad things about Columbia or Columbia. I loved the way this was reported that Columbia has, has elected a former guerrilla to government. Oh my god and everybody in Northern Ireland is going, oh, hows of you. How very quaint of you. We're way ahead of the curve on that. I looked it I looked this up. He was in M19. Now I'm not in shot entirely sure of his

CV. I think he went E17, and combat 18, M19, then he got a free transfer to FC 20 and now he works in forever 21. But one way or the other, he was at M19 then he got a free transfer to FC 20 and now he works in forever 21 but one way or the other he was at M19 and he takes over the time and I quote where Columbia is struggling with low credit ratings a large trade deficit and a national debt which is predicted to end the year at 56.5% of GDP 56.5% of GDP can I just can I second-licious your pussies? You'll be warned. At one point when the IMF came into Ireland, 125% of GDP. Imagine getting sunburned to 125% here of body. That's all of you and a quarter of somebody else. Like your brother didn't even go on hold this and he just wakes up on a couch or in the red leg or what?

I don't know how Petro didn't like how it wasn't even a bigger gap because he was against it was Hernandez I think wasn't it? And he was lunatic. He called Hitler a great German thinker. Could you imagine being that wrong? Hitler was an Austrian. And then to compound that era, he tried to get out of it by saying,

I actually meant Albert Einstein. And I would say if he could tell the difference between Einstein and Hitler, that should probably disqualify you from most conversations about global leadership. However, it probably does guarantee you a lucrative Fox News slot. I'm not sure, I mean, where could you possibly not be able to tell that? Tell that difference that the the Einstein Hitler problem.

Andy, are you pitching for a new game show? I'm trying to hit like... LAUGHTER LAUGHTER That's not just trying to pitch a proof. I mean, who said the following? E equals MC squared. And who said the other following? They didn't like my paintings, so now I'm gonna kill everybody. Wow.

I reckon that game show could run for a thousand years. LAUGHTER I almost got legs. I'm a new series, a new series three, like, to be fair. I... series three like, we first. I would love to go to Columbia because I met a brilliant Colombian man in the taxi woods. I was sharing an Uber in America and I got into the, in Beside the Sky and I said where you from and he goes Columbia and I went, ah, I love Columbia. Well from what I know, like Valderama, love Tim, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Shakira, I'd love to go to Columbia.

And he said, where are you from? And I said Ireland, and he was opposed, and he went, I love your butter. That's what he said. And I was like, really? And he went, it's addictive. And I was like, of all the things, surely not the most addictive thing that a man from Bogota could possibly come up with. No one has ever smuggled the pound of carry gold up their whole through customs. Really? Brexit has made things tough. There.

Think about the pound of butter. If you're going to smuggle lightning up your whole, it slides right up there. I don't know, Molly. Condition it, saying at the other end though. I don't know, Molly. Condition it, saying, at the other end though. I don't. I'm not sure any butter is good enough to be tainted by ass. Well, carry gold clearly. His point was welcomed by the US Secretary of State,

who said that it was a good sign that Columbia had been able to participate in a fair and free election. And let me tell you, a left-wing leader winning power in South and Central America has not always been welcomed by the US government. If I was petro, I wouldn't be opening any packages marked as from the CIA anytime soon. Oh, cigars from Illinois. That's welcome. Of the cigar making industry. Castor recommended these. The Chicago Iron War Association. Fantastic.

In Israel is looking ahead now to its fifth election in three years after Prime Minister Naftali Bennett dissolved Parliament. His fragile coalition of not one ideologically incompatible party, which is essentially what we have in this country, not even two of them, not three, but eight, eight ideological, eight ideologically incompatible parties, that's collapsed unsurprisingly. I mean that seems too many incompatible parties to be in one coalition. He's been in power for a year but has had to deal with this eight-prong coalition and a hugely uncooperative opposition. Some of whose members were recorded as saying that they would vote against anything if it helped bring down Bennett's government, even legislation to support

the disabled and victims of gender violence. Good one democracy, that is exactly how you're supposed to work. So essentially, Bennett's government could have tried to pass a bill saying that children should not be forced to eat each other at school, and Lecude, the party of former Prime Minister Lecniahu would not have voted against it but would also have sent truckloads of ketchup and mayonnaise to all schools labeled with the words best serve with raw child. That was Marcus Rashford's initial plan in the Christmas and then he had to be talked down to something a bit softer. So we could be about to say a comeback for the, shall we say, corruption tainted Nets

and Yohu. Tainted is not quite strong enough. He's fully painted in it. He's absolutely dipped himself like a member of the Blue Man Group in pure corruption paint. Yeah. If I tainted you mean immersed. I can't believe it lasted a year.

Ace are ideologically disparate parties. It entities who talk entirely, distinctly to each other. Like Snow White on the door of Skodone make one film and they got on. There's only 120 MPs by the way. Eight different groups. And then the opposition. Have you seen the color colder go off the kinesis? it looks like Jackson Pollock just spanned up skittles

it's just too many colors it's amazing Joe Biden was there in July and he like it was Jude there in July and he's just is breaking into a treaty and I would ask. Just like I'm that chord. No. LAUGHTER MUSIC S.B. and O.S. News now. And Neil, you are the bugles spike. Oh shit, I should have said that. I'll ask you that. No. I don't know. At least you used my chord, then.

Let's pop it to my note. Andy, I genuinely thought you'd made a mistake there. You're a underrated actor. Either that or you consistently make a lot of mistakes. The Chris has to edit out the bugle. I found it completely plausible. Let me know the answers to this one. You are the bugle's SP noise correspondent.

A sensational story involving a Russian spy pretending to be Brazilian. Over 10 years to try to sneak his way into the international criminal court. I mean, you've got to admire this even though it failed on day one. I mean, 10 years building up a full-side D that then fails on your first day in the job that you tried to get into with your fake ID. I mean, that's plenty to work on for your next bug gig, I guess, but it's a sensational story. Yeah, he went to Trinity College for four years, got a degree in M with the US and studied there, got a degree, and day one, he failed. It's not exactly the boring identity, is it?

It's where you're just having a chat with your fellow GRU officers. What did you do, Lads? Well, I planted explosives behind enemy lines for the illegal occupation of Crimea. What did you do? Same, yeah, same, but not really Crimea. It was Dublin and the explosives were, you know, Yegor Bums. But I mean, it was Greg Rack. What did the other students in this class said?

But anyway, he couldn't speak Portuguese. So the line in this legend was he forgot to speak Portuguese. He didn't even learn Portuguese. Yeah, what did the other students in this class said? He kept himself to himself and he didn't say much. So basically, he's hanging around Trinity College, not saying anything.

So his cover is Connell from Normal People. That was the extent of the research he's done on this. And he got away with it for years. But I mean, it is quite difficult to find, you know, if your friend is a spy or your spouse is a Russian spy rather than Brazilian. So I would suggest you just kind of test them every so often. So like, just bring up on conversation stuff like, like, and see if they're revealed stuff about themselves. Victor, you know, who would win in a fight? Would you say between Pele and a bear? And see what he says that.

What's your favorite religious landmark? It's got to be Christ the Redeemer, right? Right? Oh, Salads with Cathedral. Who controversial? And then you leave like on-season chickened out, and then before you put it in the oven, you say, I'm putting this in like this.

And if they put temper, bioano on it, Brazilian, Navichok, Russian spy. And then if none of that is out of them, shave your pubic hair into a narrow strip, and then present it to him. And if he goes, I see you've got a transnistrian don. Russian spy. No one calls it transnistrian. Clearly Russian spy. The details that he came up with for his backstory are absolutely spectacular. He claimed that at school his fellow people

used to joke about his looks and accent and call him Gringo, which is why he did not have many friends. He also tried to claim that he hates fished, contrary to most other Brazilian people, because he dislike the stench of fish from a port near his home where he grew up. He also claimed that he had a real and honest crush on his school geography teacher. Now, this Daniel Day Lewis does more prep for his roles. This guy's background details are so weird. I think obviously the logic in his head is he's like, well I'll try and say something really strange so that it'll just, but it just sounds made up as

s***. Like, he may as well have said, oh the thing about me is that I absolutely love yellow and green because of the Brazilian flag, I am Brazilian. I would love if that's how the Dutch police and the Dutchers, I'm quite a bit of the CIA, said it to him. Frankly, this challenge made up as f***. Um, I mean, he's, I mean, he was, you know, he's covered stories, he said he had certain holds in it, although apparently he did, whenever playing football, you know, as soon as I was a free kick within 50 yards

of goal, line it up saying, I can definitely stick this one in the top corner. So, you know, it wasn't totally without merit. So, what would you put in your, in your, in your, in your, you know, let spy listen when you go undercover, if I needed to present to me in Brazilian, Andy, I don't have to look very far. First of all, I've been set on, I've been confused on several occasions for a Brazilian by races. Second, secondly, last week at Tuesday football, I absolutely reberto Carlos won in with the outside of my right foot. It was a banana shot. And just

because you were there, you happen to not be there Andy. Doesn't mean I'm making this shit up. Right. Now I mean, I have seen you play football numerous times, Nisha. And it does sound like you are making that shit up. Just based on a wealth of evidence and the laws of probability. Probability, biology, physics, this is absolutely bullshit, physics, absolutely. Statistics, I think we all know if you did anything as a Brazilian footballer, it was revolved or somebody went near you and you fell in the ground

on your face. This is horse shit from a pair of no offense c**s. LAUGHTER I scored a real and honest Roberto Carlos style free kick. I feel that your spy training lacked a little bit in the interrogation module. If we slightly poked phone at your abilities and you called the two investigating officers CUTS! I mean it should be in the next lane of duty.

That's just my hot Latin temper. Well, the thing a good surface. You have to be questioned by a f*** of higher rank and born the high and and the fulfilled that particular remit. Strikes news and well, my... Strike one! Strike one, Strike two! And possibly indeed, strike three.

There's an increasing sense that the United Kingdom is progressing its national post-imperial doted status from fumbling, via bumbling to outright crumbling. We're in the middle of a kind of slow motion self-defineration that, well, end, I think, as most of those early defineration's did by landing in a huge pile of shit. And this week to add to all the other issues at large in the country, the moment, prices going up at the fastest rate for 40 years, the government's ceaseless quests to remove all hope, truth, indignity from public life, and the willful fracturing of the nation and its society that is the price of Boris Johnson fulfilling his childhood dream of being the shitest church limpersonator on the circuit.

Well, this week we are entering Strikesville. There are rail strikes this week. Three full-day strikes have been called this week, the biggest rail strikes in 30 years, but brought the nation to a Stanstill stroke to sitting on the sofa in it's underwear watching daytime TV yesterday because it couldn't get to work. We are in strange times, Nish. I can't remember there being such a sort of breadth and range of dissatisfaction at large in in this country for a very, very long time. Listen, Andrew, we're back in the 1970s. Ray O'Strikes, Kate Bush is back at the top of the charts. It's all starting to seem a bit like Kate Bush cast a magical spell to take us back

to the 1970s. She did it via the medium of her song, running up that hill, appearing in the Netflix show, Stranger Things. But either way, we've ended up back in the 1970s. And if you think that's implausible, ask yourself this honestly. Can you honestly say you don't think Kate Bush has magical powers? No, you're fucking calm, okay? She's some sort of weird witch, she's dragged us back into the 70s. Yes, the entire country at this point is basically, it's very difficult to talk about this without screaming the word, and so I'm going to do my absolute level best to do this. The cost of living crisis has kind of swept through the entire country. The RMT unions are not even asking for a pay increase, commensurate with inflation, right? It's

a pay increase that would not meet inflation. And yet the government is refusing to engage and the government is now actively trying to blame the unions and the Labour party, which has in keeping with the current Labour leadership refused to take a position on the strikes. Whatever you think about that decision, it means that the Labour party cannot itself be blamed for the strikes, but the government is blaming everyone other than itself for this. Boris Johnson is treating these strikes like one of his own children and that he's tacitly refusing to accept responsibility in spite of all of the overwhelming evidence. One, there's some extraordinary things have been said about it to buy us L would conservative politician Said that the railstruckers were Putin's friend Because they're destructing the government from the Ukraine crisis

I mean, there is no end to what's yeah, what the Ukraine card can be played within British politics It's absolutely unbelievable. Yeah. I do understand why I think, you know, when British tennis players lose at Wimbledon, that's where they're going to say, well, you know, Ukraine, you know, I couldn't think of my backhand. I just spread out from politics into everything else. I'm going to scroll the word you cried on.

My tax return this year. I just hand that in. I'm just going to hand in after that. My tax return with just the word you cried written on the front of it and given it to them. I love the fact that network rail seems surprised by this. Like you're offering 3% the union is asking for 7%. The railway workers, they mind the gap. It's literally their job. Like, travel was difficult. The buses were rammed and the traffic was awful. Nobody got to Hogwarts.

It's getting heated now. I saw a woman worker call Thomas the tank engine a f***ing scab. So it's getting to a point where, you know, there's a lot of tension. The A levels around, one of the maths questions was, if a train isn't leaving Birmingham at 1 p.m. traveling north, and another train isn't leaving Edinburgh

Traveling south. How do I get home? So I Don't know like Barra Johnson has said that he's going to be in this for a long haul Do you think he genuinely has full carbon and approval for all the government's approach to this because he criticized the railway workers for having a 19th century Practices approach of which point surely Jacob Reese Mogwent. Well, let's not be too here because he criticized the railway workers for having a 19th century practices approach. At which point, surely Jacob Reese Mog went, well, let's not be too hasty here. Let's not let Nanny throw out the baby with the bath water.

Let's just have an early light and agree to telegram each other on the morrow. Let's just see how it goes. But for Jacob Reese Mog and 19th century approach, reeks of pandering to modernism. At the same time though, there are pay rises for some sectors, billionaires, but you know, they go up 9.4% year on year. So you can see why lower down the economic food chain, people who can't afford to buy

that crucial fifth private helicopter or by an 18th century warship to submit as their kids show and tell for school or to hire Vin Diesel to act as their bodyguard for the next five years to make my team more like a movie. You could feel why people who can't afford those things might think they do a slightly larger slice of the half-digested remnant of the leftover pie. Why aren't you just admitting what happened in 2010 that has caused obvious? Why aren't you saying that the reason that there was a fall in people's living standards was because of the Icelandic volcanic ash cloud? Why would you admit that?

I got an email from Tory Party headquarters today and this said that's what it is. Neil, I find this very offensive. I think what you'll find is that in 2010, David Cameron was very worried about Ukraine. He was very worried about Ukraine. He was very worried. He thought he saw it coming and so it wasn't really able to focus on things like making sure inequality didn't run riot. The conservative party is and has always been very that's why Suez happened. The profuma affair was just as a result of Tori HQ having its eye on the potential war in Ukraine in 2022. Sorry, Suez. I thought Suez was your new nickname for Sue Eller Brever, man.

I just thought. Wow, she's gone real straight, hasn't she? Well, that brings us to the end of this week's bugle. Neil, Nish, thank you very much. As always, do you have shows or other works that you would like to plug to our listeners? I'm finishing my tour at the Edinburgh Fringe on dates that are August. August, bit August, bit August, bit August, bit August, bit August, the 22nd of August until the 28th of August at the Assembly in George Square at the end of a

break. I tomb dondia assembly and for Edinburgh I'm doing the last 12 dates and I have a new podcast it's called why would you tell me that for myself my friend get experts on about the weirdest things we can possibly talk about that interest us so we've done in our region, Sarvan and Weld Fund we've done the Myers Surinam Tode and we've done the Muswar people who live in China, who live in a matrilineal society. And we've done Chuluk Mania as well, 17th century, first duch, specklet of Ascent Bubble. So all sorts of mad stuff, wherever you go.

Thank you for listening, Bueglers. I have to go and watch some cricket for the next five days. We have a week off the Buegl next week. We will put out a sub-episode full of delectable delights and then we will return in a couple of weeks to see what the f*** is going on in July. Until then, good bye. you