The Bugle - Osama Bin Laden's taxi driver

Episode Date: August 9, 2008

The 40th ever Bugle podcast, from 2008. Written and presented by Andy Zaltzman and John OliverThis is a classic episode from The Bugle, to support us, and to keep the Bugle alive and free of ads, please visit http://thebuglepodcast.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dancelaguard fans, you will be thrilled to know a book is coming out if you fund it via Unbound. We are publishing the Dancelaguard Reader by Alice Fraser and Dancelaguard, a glorious insight into the world of Dancelaguard, self-published romance maven, and online bestseller. If you would like to find out how to support it, go to thebugelpodcast.com. If we get enough support, we will publish the book. That's a real thing that's going to happen. Thebugelpodcast.com to support the Danciler Guard Reader. The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world. Hello, Bueglers and welcome to Buegl No. 40 for the week beginning August 11th, 2008. The first ever Olympic Buegl with me and his ultimate in the beautiful city of Edinburgh

in Scotland and in New York City, John Oliver. Hello Andy and hello, Bueglers. Are we in New York in the same studio as Randy Newman did an interview on Monday. He didn't interview him here and the man's my hero Andy's, I feel closer to him by sitting in this chair. Where that great man socially awkward man sat. I feel like I'm pretty socially awkward as well I like to think. Everyone else likes to think that too, John. You put the tubers in a room. That would go really badly.

How's the week meeting, Eddie Brandy? Er, it's riding totally sold out, of course, John. Oh, it's only not totally sold out. Some of the tickets. Er, sell out. That's right. It's been good. Edinburgh is still standing, just by everything.

This, of course, is, as I said the first ever Olympic bugle, the as we record the Olympic ceremony has literally just begun and that means that this bugle will and accordance with Olympic tradition be faster, higher and stronger than ever. It will also skirt around major political issues, be used Prince B as a commercial vehicle for large corporate sponsors and mostly concern subjects, people don't take much notice of for the following 206 weeks. As always, some sections of the bugle will go straight in the bin. This week, a free periodic table, and the featured element this week in issue 40 of the bugle is Zirconium, with its atomic number of 40.

Zirconium named after Aristotle's pet dog Zirco, who discovered the element, well chasing ideas on a walkies with his philosophy loving owner, is principally used in nuclear reactors, which categorises it as one of the naughty metals. With a covalent radius of 148 pm, this hexagonally close pack silvery white little strumpet is also a key figure in the BLU 97B combined effects bomb, a tasted little subunition used in many cluster bombs which also makes zirconium a bit of a dick. And we have a competition as well to win one of the new elements that have just been added to the periodic table. You can have one of the following four elements, a Sarandonium, in tribute to Susan Sarandon. It's so cool because this element never degenerates.

Also, if anything, that element's getting better with those. Also, there's Makenium in memory of John McCain and unpredictable elements that can blow up at any time. Also, John Denverium, a new element whose molecular structure looks like a profile of John Denver in a steps and stabbing himself in the leg with a toasting fork. And also, perhaps most interestingly for bugle listeners, Bugle On, a new element which can be created by dipping a set of headphones into a beaker of liquid sulphur and playing the bugle into it backwards. Incidentally, Bugle On by Carbonate can be safely used as a dietary supplement to boost juvenility. Also, in the bin this week, an audio poster of Popstar just in Timberlake mocking himself in his shed.

What's he doing in there? What is Timber like doing? He's up to something, John, I'm sure of it. Top story this week and safety update. So, how do you feel? Do you feel safe? Do you feel safe where you are? I suppose that really does depend on where you're listening to this. If you're listening to this say halfway up a staircase trying to move a piano, then you're clearly not particularly safe. You're in danger of something at worst life-threatening and at best hilarious happening. But aside from slapstick, I'm really talking about the kind of safety that only governments can provide us with. And you should feel safer, because this is the week that the mastermind behind 9-11 was finally brought to justice. Well, yeah, I mean, maybe not the mastermind, but certainly the man who drove him around

a bit. This really isn't so much of a terrorist as a man guilty of a traffic violation. The point is, you should feel a lot safer. Salem Hamdan, who was bin Laden's driver from 1997 to 2001 and did it for $200 a month, about £99 said he worked for wages, not to wage war on the US. I suppose the war on the US was just a tip, Andy. Pretty generous one as well, kind of a Christmas bonus. I guess that works out at more than 15% as well, that's a pretty good tip. Yeah, not bad, it's a generous man bin Laden. That is as far as we've got in the war on as well, that's a pretty good tip. Yeah, not bad, it's a way, he's a generous man, Vinlun.

That is as far as we've got in the war on Terra, seven years after the attacks on New York and the driver, and not even the getaway driver, the getaway driver. Well, I guess we can all sleep much easier in our beds at night, John, knowing that the world's number one ranked baddie will have to get another person to show for him around. That makes me feel much more secure.

And to be fair, John, he was slightly more guilty than people have made out. He was convicted of supporting terrorism and also having one of those in-car air fresheners hanging from his rearview mirror in the shape of bin Laden hitting Abraham Lincoln on the head with a baguette. That is very provocative. Prosecutors had wanted a 30-year sentence

to deter would-be terrorists to be more accurate to deter people from driving them around. And it's now going to be virtually impossible for Bin Laden to get a cab. That's what we've achieved. Let that monster stand in the rain with his thumb out as cabs with their lights on just drive past and letting use that time to think about what he's done. Bin Laden's gonna have to walk if he wants to get somewhere, or learn to ride a bike, which I'm sure is very difficult in those mountains, so yes, I think we can all agree, Al-Qaeda is officially on the run.

Quite literally, on the run. The court took a massive one and a half hours of deliberation to come to the conclusion that, including time served, he should probably be releasing around five months. And how did this evil, hardened killer of non-react? Well, Andy, he smiled as he left court, said thank you to those in the room and then bye-bye in English. Bye-bye! That is not how I picture the first sentence that Guantanamo going down. That place just keeps throwing up surprises. I thought that whoever it was would be dragged out by their hair screaming death to the west. Not thank you and bye-bye. He's just more like the end of an Orsman's concert. Well maybe America could try and build

bridges with the Alkaida community by employing this man as the president's new driver. To show that he can be converted from driving terrorists to driving a leader of the free world around. I think I'll driving a leader of the free world around. I think I'll be a message of hope for everyone. Well in terms of rehabilitation, the judge said, I hope the day comes that you return to your wife and daughter's in your country and you're able to be a provider, a father and a husband in the best sense of all those terms. I'm not really sure the negative sense of all those terms is, but...

Have them responded, God willing. And I've always thought it must be tempting in that situation, if you're the judge to say, no, not God willing, me willing. I am the judge. You'll be released if I will it. I don't want to be a dick about this. And you know, I'm not saying I'm God. I'm just saying that this is genuinely my decision. It does conjure up a rather lovely image of Dick Cheney watching the sentence come through. And just kind of throwing his remote control at his television saying what the f*** what is the f*** point in setting up f*** military trials if they go soft at the

first sign of a defendant not being guilty what the f*** the point of that that is a compelling mental image and I appreciate you putting it in my head. Good. He probably had his wang out as well while he was doing it. And okay, now you've ruined it. His wang out ready to celebrate. I know, you've done this, you've started this. I'm angry with you, not I've never said anything about celebrating. I was merely suggesting that he might have just had a shower and rushed out of the shower to see the result come through

and not add time to put his jock strap on. In terms of how important the figure this man was, the CIA officer admitted that in the wanted terrorist deck of playing cards he'd be the two of clubs, but that's not even true. He wasn't even on those cards, he didn't make it to the deck. Instead he'd be the Joker and that you look at him and just say, well why did they put him in here? Well if that doesn't make you feel any safer then try this. Would it make you feel safer if you knew that the CIA had attempted to forge a letter tying Iraq to Muhammadat

at the 9-11 pilot to hasten the war in Iraq? What's that you say? It wouldn't make you feel safer? Well you may want to ignore this next bit. The new book The Way of the World by Washington Journalist Ron Suskin quotes two CIA officers are saying they were instructed to forge a letter. It says, the White House had concocted a fake letter from Habush to Saddam back dated July the 1st 2001. It said that 9-11 ring leader Muhammad Atta had actually trained for his mission in Iraq, thus showing finally that there was an operational link between Saddam and Al-Qaeda.

Something the Vice President's office had been pressing the CIA to prove, since 9-11, as a justification to invade Iraq. There is no link. And the White House issued a brief statement on behalf of the two men saying, no, they didn't. So that clears that up. This is like their weapons of mass destruction, Jonirak, pretending there were no weapons. But that's exactly what you'd expect of a country like Iraq.

You know, everyone lies about weapons. If they did have them, they'd say they didn't have them. And if they didn't have them, they'd claim they did to look tougher. So we had to assume by them saying that they didn't and everyone else saying that they didn't, that they did. And if it takes a forged letter to accept that, then I for one am quite happy to eat that forged letter. Other forged letters came out this one is quite clearly a forgery I think. It goes, Dear Mr Atter,

you've been selected to help destroy the West to claim your free prize. Please contact Mr Roomsfield. That's a bit obvious. On Washington 2625 3223 yours Alan Kaido. I don't think that fake letters are a tremendous idea, Andy. You can make history a lot more entertaining, which is why I released this week a series of fake love letters between Gandhi and Prime Minister David Lloyd George. This is one from Lloyd George. DMG, it says, and then there's a little smiley face and a flower that he's drawn afterwards. Hope you're well.

How unfair it is that we cannot be together due to my nation violently suppressing yours, and please let's not argue about that like we did last time. I hate it when we fight. You left a t-shirt here when you were in London rounding up support for independence, but I sleep with your t-shirt on my pillow, it helps me miss you less. All my love and complete contempt for your struggle, DLG. What a glimpse landing to an awkward relationship. Although, to be fair, there was no need to fake that letter. There were real ones between them and actually there were quite a lot bluer than yours. I just think these about this is better for the kiddies this lot.

But what I'm saying is, Lloyd George was a vigorous man. But we shouldn't be surprised about these forged letters because let's not forget that Iraq itself was a forgery It was faked by Britain out of some old bits of the Ottoman Empire and passed off as a genuine country So it's hardly surprising that it should spawn other forgeries and I've also got a recording here of Saddam Hussein actually talking to Muhammad Atta about how to really stick it to the USA. Listen to this. This is proof how to really stick it to the USA. Listen to this, this is proof. So sorry that was just a recording of a horsey. Still, no smoke without fire, John. We had to invade. We had to invade. But I don't think there's anything wrong with forging evidence

for war, John. Surely, it's actually far better to tell a little white lie when you've got to do something a bit awkward like the Iraq War, rather than forething the unpalatable truth down the innocent immature throats of the public. It's like when you're explaining to your little child that his or her pet Impala has died. You make something up to protect little nipper from the harsh realities of reality. You don't tell your impressionable young child the harsh truth. You don't say, hey, you know Spike, your beloved pet Impala, yeah well I've got a bit of bad news. He's dead. Pretty nasty actually, he was gradually hunted down by a lion over several soul freezing minutes.

Enduring a hideous deathly terror as the massive carnival closed on him with a dreaded inevitability of a Viking pillaging a post office. The certainty of an agonizing end clamping his heart and soul until the lion's savage claws ripped into his tender flesh, sending searing bolts of pain through the very soul of the young antelope, as his spindly legs betrayed him, and the merciless teeth of the lion crunched into his stupid neck, and an elemental scream of annihilation from the impalus-discbaring lungs, rent the skies as every nerve in spikes-body burnt with appalling finality. Before the great beast finally ended the primeval suffering with a final blood-curdling howl.

Spikes, limp and lifeless forms, then paraded around like a disappointing school trophy, before the lion set about ripping the twitching cadaver into a thousand pieces of impalicar patcho, the final indignity of absolute defeat visited upon little spike, who died feeling totally irredeemably alone. Sorry about that. It was my fault entirely, really, I shouldn't have taken him to that safari park. Or if I did I should have kept him on his lead and not covered him in zebra blood and released him into the lining closure Still a dare to dare stop crying. It's how nature works

Right, let's go swimming to cheer you up that you wouldn't say that. That's all I'm saying you wouldn't say that He's stupid neck. They have stupid necks in parlors have stupid necks. Have you never seen them? There's kind of nothing about like that Little can get away because they've got twisty horns. So he makes me sick. There's the complacency in the Antelope world. They've been eating by lines for you know thousands of years now and they don't have anything about it. Nothing. Well and you are calling out antelopes like a heavyweight boxer. Yeah well if I'm wrong they can come on the bugle and defend themselves. Erak now, and news came out this week that the Iraqi government has an $80 billion budget

surplus, which was made over here with cries of, I'm sorry, how f**k much. This apparently does not count the 48 billion which America has spent on reconstruction. Now you might think, what is happening to all that money? Is it in a bank? Well, yeah, but obviously not one bank that is simply too much money to fit inside a single building. I guess they could build a bigger bank to put it in, but that would involve spending some of that 80 billion dollars and why do that when they can just wait for us to build one for them? The truth is they're probably saving it for a rainy day. And rainy days are pretty infrequent over there, Andy, so they're probably saving it for

a sandy day and then immediately building a hospital or 10. I think it's, I'm going to understand that America is pretty angry that, you know, it's footing the bill for reconstruction, which is a bit harsh given that they paid most of the bill for the initial deconstruction that has meant the reconstruction is necessary and it's about time someone else stepped up to the plate and I can relate to this John because I went to a restaurant recently where I set fire to a silk tablecloth and I'm the one who asked to pay for it when these guys are charging 20 quid for a plate of dead cow is that fair? I don't want to get involved, Andy. That's between you and the restaurant.

I'm going to be switling on this. I guess we just haven't felt comfortable asking for any more reconstruction money back because you know, there are all I now. Andy, you don't want money to come between friends. Iraq have become like our old college buddy. We let money to after we kind of accidentally burnt their house down. Asking for it back would just be awkward and we don't want things to be any weird at-betweeners than they already are. This really is the ultimate business model. Get

invaded, destabilise in the region, pushing up the price of your primary export around the world, leading to a huge boost in your economy. The only way for America to get out of the mess that they're in at the moment is to invade themselves. Or if they don't want to do it, at least let someone else have a go. I'm sure Canada would love a crack at it. Maybe Canada and Mexico could team up in a kind of classic pincer movements. Is it thing I am an American taxpayer now Andy, so I technically have some investments over there and I would really love a plaque or something. Maybe they could just name anything after me, a road or a tennis court, something like that. Just a John Oliver tennis court. I just want to get a bit of visual bank from my buck.

Bugal feature section now and Cougs. And there's been a coup in the African country of Mauritania. It's the first coup for three years, so you can see why they were getting itchy feet over their John. I don't see what's wrong with military coups myself. Every around the world, people are not happy with their governments. And a military coup is just a quick way of voting them out by the military on behalf of the people. So what do we know about the Mauritania coup and Mauritania as a country? Well, what do you know about them, John? Well, throw that ball into your court.

Well, low dandy, because I know for a start I've lost count of the number of times that we've received email saying, why don't you ever cover the news in Mauritania? You're conscious avoiding of this nation's current affairs seems almost racist. I mean, the truth is, not a week goes by that we don't do Mauritania in update, but it's usually cut out due to time constraints, whether it's about their currency and the the uh... uglier or their dialing code which is we all know is plus triple two or their capital which is andy uh... scorer long and complicated name

that's right and it's new at shots new at shots of course in fact john there is a reason why the capital is new at shots it so cool. Because when the first post-colonial moratonian leader, Mokta, Old Dadda, was naming the new city, he sneezed. And the name stuck. New Act shot. It was supposed to be called New Scruttington under French after Dadda's favourite British village. Troops overthrew the first democratically elected president this week, after he attempted to dismiss some army chiefs. Wow, that firing did not go well Andy. I bet he was rehearsing how to

let them go and have probably read up about the potential consequences, you know, crying, shouting, anger, disbelief, all of that stuff, not though, being immediately overthrown by a military coup. I guess they need to add that to the management training manuals now. Yeah, well that's what I did when I was fired from my own me having proper job Best date there I was with a tank. I thought you got stuck in the lift because the office was on the fourth floor I've made my point at the military promised to hold fresh elections as soon as possible and in a statement released a day after Wednesdays coup a member of the junta promised the polls would be free and transparent He then said I wish I was a real boy!

And a little cricket sang, when you wish upon a star, and a kindly old man called Jepetto came to take him away. What I'm saying is, that's bullshit. John, you've been singing quite a lot in the Bugle in recent weeks. Really? I've been rapping a lot. You're gunning for a part on Broadway, aren't you? You're using this to audition for a musical. I just want to be in the movie Mamma Mia 2.

We do have some advice for any bugle listeners who are planning to go on holiday to Mauritania. Firstly, take a hat and some sun cream. Secondly, check your tickets. I'll use joyous folks to be going to Mauritania. Are you sure it wasn't Spain or Florida? And see, take a tank and join in with the coup. It's hard to get involved in a military coup in most countries, so knock yourselves out, get stuck in and have a blast. As you're ending, the Culture Minister was the first to appear on TV,

reading a statement announcing the coup on behalf of the military. And there must have been a few magnificent moments of confusion there as people thought that the country might have just been overthrown by the Culture Minister. There have been very few culture-based coups since a ballet company ruled Belgium for two years in the 50s before people noticed. So, I have a fact about Mauritania, the French colonized Mauritania, but can't now remember why, it might have been as a practice for colonizing somewhere more useful, or because the French are lazy and Mauritania was quite close. Mauritania has had more coupos than a professional pigeon impersonator,

but is really good at both droughts and poverty. Less than 3 billion people live in Mauritania, and also actress Genevieve Bougeold has never been to Mauritania, as far as I'm aware, and if she has been, she hasn't told me about it, John, which I guess is her prerogative, but it does reveal how little Bougeold and I communicate these days. The two things, though, Andy, we in the West need these dictatorial villains, like Wily Coyote needed the road runner, because if Roadrunner had looked to make peace, then the Coyote would have spent far, far less on weapons trying to destroy him, the Acme Company would have gone out of business, and the whole economy built on the act we Armstrong's trade would have collapsed. In other change of government news, Tajikistan has elected US rock group Tom Petty in the heartbreakers

as his new prime minister. Petty, the 57-year-old spokesman for Tom Petty in the heartbreakers, said, whilst it is a great honor to have been elected by the people of Tajikistan, it is with regret that we, Tom Petty in the heartbreakers, must turn down this position. Whilst we are prepared to consider non-musical projects, we feel that at this stage of our careers, governing a nation with such a jubish human right record is not the right move for Tom Petty in the heartbreakers. It's just north of Afghanistan as well for Christ's sake, that doesn't sound safe for a band like us. Petty continued, we hope the Tadjiks understand our decision, but we have compensation, we are letting the people of Tadjiks on use our classic hit free-falling as their new national anthem, Royalty Free. Our shouts. That's what Tom Petty and the heartbreakers are all about.

But the heartbreakers long time base player Ron Blair said, I can't believe Tom Petty has turned this down. I'd love to knock Tajikistan into shape. It's so far away and so strategically crucial to the Western military operations in that region. I reckon you can pretty much do anything you want there. I reckon the heartbreakers would do a great job. What else are we gonna do? Flats around the world the same three f**k gourds over and over again? I want to see my face on a banknote before I die Is that wrong? And I've written a new song about hydroelectric power in Tajikistan. Do you want to hear it?

Come back come back Other news now in a sense as a supposedly endangered gorillas has shown that populations are actually doing much better than people thought Yeah, well done the gorillas has shown that populations are actually doing much better than people thought Hurray! Yeah, well done the gorillas. We can start eating them again Sorry, I just really really really feel I have to come down strongly on that that is not what this means Is that not how it works? It's been a couple of years since I ate a gorilla and you know I know I know it has it But I think you need to push on with that. It's great, that two years has been terrific, but don't lapse now.

Don't go back to your old ways. Just go so well with my banana sauce. I'm not, I'm not saying it doesn't. I'm just saying it's a bad idea. For anyone confused about the bewildering number of primates in the world, monkeys are lady apes and gorillas are male-apes and the ones with brightly-colored humbadoogas are the clever ones. I hope that plays it all up. Let's say that word again, that. Humber-dougas. I think that's going to have to become official

now. What a right-pain in the humbadooga. Kiss my humbadooga. Kismar humbadooga. It is finally some good news from the world of nature. It turns out that we're not wiping gorillas out quite as fast as we thought we were. Are we still wiping them out? Of course we are. But we're doing it slower

and we deserve some credit for that. Baby steps, Andy. A census of critically endangered Western lowland gorillas has found out that there are in fact 125,000 of them living in the northern part of the Congo. And they're really intelligent and incredibly intelligent, a census. I guess that either involved them turning up to census stations during office hours or sending in forms absentia. Now what, what amazing beasts they are

Your emails now and just time for a quick hotty from history nomination This one's from Rebecca who says I have written to submit Alexander Hamilton as a potential male historical hotty for August I've long gazed into the smoldering eyes staring back at me from the $10 bill Wondering what sultry secrets they held. Born in Nevis, the bastard son of a Scottish led, he possessed the son-drenched eroticism of how stellar got her groove back, with the modest ripping romance of Braveheart. In the 13 colonies, he quickly established quite the reputation, becoming Washington's right-hand man. As the first secretary of the Treasury in US history, you can be sure that Hamilton had access to all the money he needed to keep

several ladies in high style. He became the central figure of the United States first ever political sex scandal. The steamy love letters he wrote to his married mistress were published by political enemies. Unfortunately his life was ended early by the villainous VP Burr. But that only cemented his hotness in the minds of future generations. Whatever downturns the economy might cycle through, I'm convinced that US currency will never truly decrease

in value as long as Hamilton's smoking hot visage is printed on it. Economically yours, Rebecca. And a, I'm looking at a $10 bill now and the guy he's absolutely stacked he's not he's ripped he's got an incredible jawline he's got I'm not going to say it he's got it's going on whatever it is it's happening with him he is 12 bucks of hotness on a 10-buck note, Andy. Testify. Do keep your emails flooding into the bugle at timesonline.co.uk or else. Stop issuing those empty threats, Andy. I really don't think

they're healthy. Sport now, and the Olympics has now officially kicked off. We all know, John the Olympics are all about enabling authoritarian regimes to plant some new flowers by the side of the road and pass it off of the social progress. Absolutely, that's the spirit. That's what it's all about, always has been and it's also about enabling the international community to see people throwing things really far and moving really fast or quite weirdly and say to what was it, to what? The Dalaii who. But anyway, here's my predictions for the first week in some of the less well-known sports. In synchronized monk beating, I think the

Burmese are going to be tough to beat, although the Chinese are always strong. In egg poaching, well, I've got to be in the running John, I'm on fire, I've poached two of the most perfect eggs last week, and really, I think, you know, the star Australians eggs last week and really I think the star Australians are going to be quaking in their boots and in toe-stubbing one man is on the Germans. Let's just go, I've got the steel toe caps, they just don't feel it. But swimming is kicking off and here's some advice to our bugle listeners on how to win an Olympic swimming race. Firstly, intimidate your opponents by making shark noises on the blocks. Then distract your opponents by asking them how recently they shaved, then whilst they're

trying to remember, tie concrete blocks to their feet. Also once you hit the water, splash your arms and legs around like a puppet in a microwave, that's what all the good swimmers seem to do. Also wear goggles, and finally store on the blocks as if you were scared by the funny starter hooter and thought that the Japanese swim was about to harpoon you then when all the other swimmers have held themselves into the water get your coach to throw a toaster into the ball to electrocute your opponents. Once he's removed the toaster, dive in and romp to a spectacular victory.

Good plan. I don't think there's a rule specifically against that yet. I mean, they might ban it before you get to the final, but what that point most of the opponents are dead anyway. So I think you take, you before you get to the final but what that point mostly opponents are dead anyway So I think you take you at least getting on the podium in other swim and use US swimmer Amanda Beard Controversially posed naked for group painter as a protest against the poor treatment of animals and in fact British athletes Also posed naked before the Olympics, but there's was for power eight a drink by Coca-Cola. I suppose that's a protest in a way and it's a protest to highlight people not drinking enough power eight. But naked sports is an area that I really think is worth thinking

about Andy. Not only would people having to play sports naked kind of combat the inflated egos that you tend to see in most sports now. But I'm also, I'm not sure that there's a single sport which wouldn't benefit from being done in the buff. As it shot puts, Fence just saw me about that. We take it back to the old Greek shot put throwing, just seeing a man or a woman spinning around with their bits wanging proudly in the breeze.

As the shot put is projected and the wang settles in triumph. That's a part well shot. What? I think you've put too much thought into that, John. I think fencing naked would be, would be dangerous. Is it dangerous or does it encourage you to be a better fencer? There you go.

I just think that humanity has not grown up enough as a species, not to just try and skewer each other's plums. So finally, just time for the Bugle forecast for this week. And the forecast is, will I get to my show in time? As we record now, it's just past two o'clock, British time. My show starts at 240 at the stand for anyone passing by. But will I get there in times on bearing in mind that I do have to get into my costume? Well, I mean, I know that title while, and I guess it really does depend on how long this prediction section lasts.

And if it really drags on. Yeah, there's definitely an option for it to wrap up quickly, but it doesn't seem like that's going to happen.