The Bugle - Partial Recall (4203)

Episode Date: August 31, 2021

Andy is with Mark Steel and Nato Green to look at the maddening elections in California and deepening political chaos in the UK. Which country has it worse?We are funded entirely by you, the listener. Listeners who sign up via thebuglepodcast.com have long enjoyed the opportunity to get: mentions on the show (in the form of lies), merchandise and general sense of wellbeing for supporting this fine work of art. As of this week you can also support the show directly via Apple Podcasts. Our new channel ‘Team Bugle’ also includes The Last Post, The Gargle and Tiny Revolutions, shows which currently carry ads - but they will be completely ad free on this channel. So if you love The Bugle, and it’s siblings, then please support The Bugle via our website or Apple Podcasts where you can subscribe today.Buy a loved one Bugle Merch - COLD AND WET WEAVER T SHIRTS ON SALE NOW). Listen to The Gargle here: https://pod.link/GargleFollow us on YouTube or Insta and see parts of this episode with actual video.The Bugle is hosted this week by:Andy ZaltzmanNato GreenMark SteelAnd produced by Chris Skinner and Ross Ramsey Golding Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dancelaguard fans, you will be thrilled to know a book is coming out if you fund it via Unbound. We are publishing the Dancelaguard Reader by Alice Fraser and Dancelaguard, a glorious insight into the world of Dancelaguard, self-published romance maven, and online bestseller. If you would like to find out how to support it, go to thebugelpodcast.com. If we get enough support, we will publish the book. That's a real thing that's going to happen. Thebugelpodcast.com to support the Danciler Guard Reader. A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A- Audio newspaper for a visual world! Hello, Bughlers, and welcome to issue 4203 of the Bughal Audio newspaper for a visual world with me and his ozman, coming to you exclusively live and in zero dimensions from the shed here in South London.

We are recording on August 30th of August that is a new date system using to please our listeners on all possible sides of the Atlantic in the year 2021 And we are still using the old system of years counting up from the birth of Jesus Herbert Christ the influential Middle East based entertainer rather than the new system of counting down To the end of the world by which system it is the 30th of August 2021, but what a happy coincidence No, that is the end of the world, not the end

of civilization, which could be significantly closer. How do I know that? Well, good journalists never reveal their sources as I discovered during a very frustrating queue at the Berger van at the National Society of Investigative Reporters Annual Conference. Joining me this week from San Francisco, California, it's NATO Green. Hello, NATO, how are you? Hello, Andy. Hello, buglers. Uh, it's. It's wildfire season in California, which means this is the time of year where I monitor air quality index stats like you monitor cricket scores. Every minute, I'm tracking all of the sensors in my neighborhood to tell me when I can complete a full respiratory cycle because the smoky haze is drifting down from the mountains.

This summer, Andy, I was able to, thanks to the power of the vaccines, see some of my family who I had seen in a year and a half. And I spent some time with my niece, who's three, and I was wearing a bugle t-shirt, and we were playing on the floor, and she pointed wearing a bugle t-shirt and we were playing on the floor And she pointed at my bugle t-shirt and she pointed at the drawing of your head and she said is he angry? And I said just it Jacob Reese Mogged for some reason and she said he's a But she's three so it's okay Well, that's a that's a heartwarming story. If any bugle listeners want to get a hold of a bugle t-shirt to

and terrify their three-year-old relatives, do go to the bugle website and click the merch button. Also, the city product placement. Also, joining us from the very same continent that I'm on, My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. My name is Simon. he came in this morning at half past six. He was a stand up, he was a show there, but also he was sort of, I don't know what he was doing, it's best not to ask, but he was, and I'm with the last time I was at the Redding Festival, it was the most wonderful display of anger I think that I've ever seen, because I love what you've done, and I went to something that was on it about 11 in the morning and no one else is up at 11 in the morning and There was about eight people in this team and this band was so magnificently angry

And I couldn't hear I couldn't understand a single word at all. It was just like For artists and great. I don't know what they're on about. And I swear the only words that I could actually work out was at the end of this song, he just went, Why are you f**king act? Scooch, bunk, gang! Ah! Ha, ha, ha, ha! The R

R Anyway, we are recording on the 30th of August, which means by the time most of you listen to this, it will be or will be very nearly being actually September. And what a month September is the joint second shortest month of the year, not for September the Shelley shalying around elongating the year that we see so often from the likes of July, March or August, which is dragging on yet again as we record. But also September lacks the ostentatious time disrespecting shortness and variability of February.

It's just non-id solid month that gets the job done in a bog stand of 30-day time span. But could September be under threat? Rumor has it that researchers found that focus groups think people find traditional months a bit boring and confusing. So classic months like September could soon be a thing of the past as the year gets split back into 10 months, each with 110 hour days, with each hour made up of 50, 50 second long minutes. In Roman times, of course, September used to be the seventh month of the year, hence the name, which in Latin means seventh, ember. Because of course months used to be

measured by lighting different sizes of fire at the start of the year that would burn until the end of their prescribed month. And if September keeps dropping two places down the month order at the current rate of once per two and a half thousand years, by the year 9500 AD, September will have merged with next March. As always, a section of the bugle is going straight in the bin. This week, letter writing in the bin, first of September is world letter writing day for our younger listeners, letter is, and I know this is gonna sound f***ing ridiculous,

a form of communication in which people used to write words on sheets of paper using a pen, look up all those things in a dictionary, sorry, on a dictionary app, if you don't know what they mean, and send it via a postal system with a stamp stuck on the front. A stamp is, oh, there's no f***ing point. Anyway, our section in the bin is a free letter. All you have to do is provide a sheet of paper and a pen. If you don't have a pen, again, our young listeners may not,

you can use your finger dipped in ketchup. And we provide you with some free words and phrases to get you started on your epistollary efforts, including, Dear, How are you? I am fine. Fortunately, the fish were all unharmed. Gradually re-adjusting to normal gravity, thank you for the cimitar, it looks like a really good one. Thus narrowly escaping a painful encounter with a goat. It is great to be home again after

such a surprisingly elongated trip to the seaside. I have always feared your immutable power, hopefully the replacement terrapin will not prove too expensive this time, and looking forward to seeing you again on your release. Do you summon all of those phrases in your free bugle letter in the bin this week. Top story this week. America news, NATO, you are quite literally in America, as we speak, as you have been for most of your life. Bring us up to date with everything that is happening. Well, in America in general, but firstly in your home states of California. but firstly in your home states of California. Well, Andy, Mark, Chris, we have a recall election coming up

of Governor Gavin Newsom, and I am f***ing boiling with rage. And so I think I might have written 17 hours of commentary. So if you and Mark need to just go for a walk around the hedge, while I scream into the void about how mad I am about the recall, you have, like, you could, you have time to, you know, take a break. Chris may have to clean it up and post. Um, so, uh, but here's what's happening.

California's headed for a recall election of governor Newsom on September 14th. Ballots have been mailed, polls are looking close. And if you thought that what passes for American democracy wasn't stupid and dysfunctional enough, if you thought American democracy didn't do enough to empower the most retrograde infantile tribalist urges, may I present to you the California recall system

in what is otherwise stereotyped as an island of progressive, competent governance in a sea of vomit. Here's how recall elections work. And this is the second one we've had in my lifetime. The first one was in 2003 when we elected Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, who ran on a campaign of having just an Terminator movie where he matched a woman's head into the toilet and f***ing his housekeeper. Um, so, but that's something for every vote. Yeah.

The recall election is a two question ballot only. Question one, should governor Newsom be recalled, if 50% plus one of those vote voting vote for that, then he's recalled and we go to question two. vote for that, then he's recalled and we go to question two. Question two is if Newsom is recalled, which one of these 46 shit-flinging baboons should become governor instead? We have lots of options and then the top vote getter of that group regardless of their vote becomes the governor. So you like maths and the way that the math works is that the recall goes through with 50% plus one of the vote, which means that 50% minus one of the vote goes to Newsom and mathematically, just depending on how the vote splits up among the aforementioned 46 baboons, we could end up with a governor that half as many people want to be governor

than the current governor who just got recalled. And it is amazing. They're amazing. Yeah, right. It's, it's, it's evenly. Uh, thanks. Thank you for running the numbers. It's amazing that Americans have the Kutspa to lecture Cuba for having a sham one party democracy when we have governed by it.

Now, a lot of Democrats are mad that the recall is a waste of 250 million dollars when Newsom is up for reelection literally next year. And I can't imagine hating anyone so much that I wasn't willing to wait another six months to stop hating them. Or they're mad at the threat that Newsom could be replaced by a reactionary racist who hates government so much that he wants to abolish lanes on the i5 freeway to make freeway driving a sort of choose your own adventure type experience, but also doesn't understand the government

enough to know that the federal government runs the freeways and not the state and the government doesn't get a say. I hate those things, but as I've said on here before on the bugle, I hate Gavin Newsom. And I hate Gavin Newsom. And I hate Gavin Newsom. Most people didn't become aware of him until he ran for governor in 2018, but he's from San Francisco. So I've had to deal with his bullshit for 20 years. I was really about to one of the candidates, Larry Elder.

Oh, good times. Right wing radio host who spent 27 years honking into the foghorn of syndicated radio, who doesn't believe in a number of things, he doesn't believe the gender pay gap exists, he doesn't believe in climate change, which he describes as a croc, and doesn't believe in gun control, meaning that logically he believes in guns being out of control, which is a tough one to get behind if you're a fan of people not being unnecessarily shot to death. I mean, would you like him as a governor of California? No, I mean, people can be asking me, like, who do you put for question two? And there's no good

options. There's like the guy who thinks that we're going to solve our drought because we have significant parts of the state that are literally running out of water by piping water from the Mississippi River without understanding that it has to go through thousands of miles of desert and mountain to get there and requires the agreement of all the intervening states. Would you, you know, would you like the people that want to round up homeless people on put them on barges and send them out to see in floating concentration camps. Would you like the person who wants to, you know, just left the state burned down in the hopes of some sort of, you know, Phoenix like renewal. Like there's, it's like if we get to question two, we're done for. So. They all are they all serious though because because we have here, there's a tradition here of people like there's a bloke called Lord Buckethead

and he stands at elections and he just puts a sort of a bin liner thing, the sort of little kitchen bucket bin thing on his head. And he doesn't, it's just joke. It's not a very funny joke, but it's a joke, but they're not really serious, but I get think your man to people seem to be quite serious. Mark, have you not seen who our prime minister is? Yes, you make a good point. When Boris Johnson first popped up, it wasn't there's some part of you that was like, this has to be a bit.

Yeah, you make a very good case. In other American news, the Supreme Court has been busy. And I thought you are a Supreme Court correspondent. And I know you harbor a lifelong dream of being appointed to the Supreme Court to safeguard America's future. And the Supreme Court is the decisive voters in the Supreme Court to safeguard America's future. And the Supreme Court is the decisive voters in the Supreme Court are one of the legacies of Trump. How is that going for America?

For Trump good, for America bad. In a nutshell, the conservative majority of the US Supreme Court issued two, six to three rulings last week against the Biden administration's controversial more good, less bad initiatives. So they, first, they ruled against the White House on immigration and evictions by way of an obscure procedure called the shadow docket. Originally rarely used and only for emergencies, the shadow docket became a popular tool by the trump administration conservative judges

to issue sweeping policies in the middle of the night with no explanation no written sign decision uh... no oral arguments and on an accelerated time frame what could go wrong uh... and so the court blocked a biden decision to suspend a trump policy that required immigrants to wait in Mexico until their immigration hearing. And the policy hadn't been used during the Biden administration, hadn't been used for many months at the end of the Trump administration, but the court wants to put it back on immediately because of one judge in Texas that they want to uphold. And it's a weird argument because the so first of all, it's not even up to Biden, by the way, like just to implement this, they want him to implement the policy immediately. Even if he wanted to, he has to negotiate with the Mexican government and the remain in Mexico policy depends on the Mexican government agreeing. So the Mexican president Lopez

Obrador can just say no, and then they can't do anything. It's like weird to me that the Trump Supreme Court's ingenious plan to stop immigration is to put Mexico in charge of our immigration policy. That's like some next level racist jujitsu. And the same people that are mad that there aren't enough workers willing to work at low wages are trying to make it harder to get more workers willing to work at low wages into the country. This makes me think that the right-wing apropos of our earlier discussion about putons, that the right-wing was an elaborate plan by left-wing performance artists to infiltrate the American state by pretending to be the most incompetent fascist ever in order to accidentally

drive up wages by letting 600,000 Americans die of COVID and then stopping immigration. Maybe Trump was the Kaiser Zose of raising the minimum wage. And we spent all this time worrying about the threat of Russia undermining, but half the US used to be Mexico. And it would be amazing if the result of that was that they took it back. I, uh, Trump threatened that there would be taco trucks at every corner. And seriously, I f***ed with taco trucks. I'm super into it. But I mean, in terms of, you know, the history of America, I mean,

America was founded on an eviction, you know, the eviction of, of, of the British. So, you know, surely this is something you should be, you should be clicking to. I mean, this is, this is like, you know, the this is something you should be, you should be clinging to. I mean, this is, you know, the right to bear right. These are these kind of curious and 18th century phrases that, you know, it is your right as an American to willfully misinterpret to the disbenefit of people today in order to commune with your founding fathers. Right. Deeply unpatriotic, have you, Nathan?

I'm afraid. Deeply unpatriotic, I'm so sorry. And just in terms of the Supreme Court, as I mentioned, you have these three justices appointed by Trump, giving it six to three conservative majorities. It's starting to look like putting the future of American lawmaking in the hands of people appointed by a certifiable lunatic might not be long-term a sound strategy. The jury is still out. Right. And we'll, under this court, never be allowed to return. One final piece of American news, Havana Syndrome has been rearing its head again at night. Oh, I know, this is a topic close to your heart. Can you just explain what Havana Syndrome is?

Yeah, sure. So Vice President Kamala Harris was delayed on an official visit to Vietnam because of suspicions of this Havana Syndrome. And the Havana Syndrome began so named because it began affecting diplomats and spies at the US Embassy in Cuba in 2017, prompting President Trump to close the embassy. Mark, you may not know this about me. Immediately after that, I moved to Havana with my family. So I was living in Havana when all this was happening at the time they called it Sonic Attacks, and the Cubans were so insistent that they were not doing anything to the Americans,

that they invited the FBI to come investigate. And you have to realize what a big deal it is for the Cuban government to invite the intelligence service of a country trying to overthrow them to come investigate. It would be like a cheesecake inviting me to investigate its shortbread cookie crust, a gutsy move if you wanna survive. And so, the...

We're very invited all ACs to come and investigate. We've got a really, really difficult problem. And we've asked for ICCs to send its best detectives. Well, that was about the greatest reality TV show that we've ever seen. Sherlock Holmes, ISIS edition. Oh. Oh. But moving on to Britain News now. And well, exciting news from the Prime Minister, Mark, who as we've documented on this esteemed podcast of historical record, swore the

hypocritical oath on taking office whereby he undertook not to be prevented from saying or doing things for fear of being accused of hypocrisy. And now obviously people don't really mean oaths, but he has really embraced his hypocritical oath as prime minister. I mean, Boris Johnson is to hypocrisy what Wales are to plankton murdering. It's just his night. We just didn't even think about it. It just happened in spectacular quantities. Oh, yes, sorry. No, no, no, this is a, this is a, it's a, it's a marvelous little quote from him from this week because there's a, there's a sort of benefits ceiling and it went up a little bit

over the course of the pandemic. And it's been removed again because the claimants can't be continue claiming this sort of extra bit that they were getting in the pandemic as old. But there was a marvelous thing he said because I prefer that people increase their wealth through their own efforts and not through handout. Not through handouts.

Boris Johnson, they said, so this not, this probably his own, this teeth were probably given to him by a bloody wealthy donor. There's nothing fit this man. And it's only weeks ago that he was being investigated because he had 200,000 pounds, 200,000 pounds to spend on doing up his flat that was already the flat where the bloody Prime Minister lived. So it wasn't some shithole with all mold creeping across the corner, and mushrooms and earwigs everywhere. So how do you spend 200,000 pounds on doing up a flat? Are the bloody, it the wallpaper, the bathroom towels might have arsonal season tickets and they get, they on say round to do the electrics and the bloody, it's a wallpaper, the bathroom towels made of arsenal season tickets and they get

beyond say round to do the electrics and the bloody all the plaster in was rock four cheese bought from a bloody farmers market. The wall has bloody pumped through by some device made by Histon Blumenthal or something and instead of a doorbell they've got a real life opera singer and you press her on the nose and she sings the magic flute. How the fuck do you spend all that? And then she wouldn't say where the money's gone from it and it ended up, it was a bloody handout, it was given to her by a Tory bloody lord called Lord Brownlow. I don't know, he must just think, well why can't the if claimants are the need of finance, they should do what I do. And presumably, they think that they just go, when they're at the law direct, just ask the woman who does the service wash,

can you give me £50,000 for the paper? And that's how you get wealth through your own efforts, its own fact, own bonus within the poiters you dropped us. So just to read between the lines Mark, you are suggesting perhaps that Boris Johnson and David Cameron have not found their own personal success through sweat, talent, toil and meritocracy. Well, does it really amount to sort of, you know, well, this is the said, the way this system has worked, you work hard and you show a bit of acumen and a bit of initiative and up the ladder you rise and these, they're idiots. If they were in any other, if they worked in the car wash or something. People are going, oh, f**k, psych. What are you doing?

Oh, what are you f**king doing? You've spung the wrong place. You've spung the building. Instead of the car, you f**king idiot. What did you learn at school? That's technique cocking a pig's mouth. Well, that's not going to help you. Well, does Phil like this episode

becoming a competition. Who's, who's politicians? Oh, shit. And it's tight. It's tight. Oh, would it fall asleep with Mayan Ma? I don't know who I would swap with. I should buy a shiggy in the transfer window. And a cheeky little bit has come in from Britain for the military dictator of Mayan Ma.

I feel like our countries are in a race to see who can be first to single-handedly demolish the myth of white superiority. Yes, well, long since, long since past year. So Boris Johnson, as you've suggested, has floated to the top of the political pond by clinging to the turn of privilege. But this is very extraordinary. This idea of people's wages rising through their efforts rather than handouts. That link between wages and effort is at best tenuous, compared, for example, a nurse versus the CEO of a FTSE 100 listed company. I mean, it is fair to say that the CEO does not work, does not try 120 times harder than a nurse. Now, NATO is a union representative.

Have you ever told the workers that you represent that if they just put in a thousand percent more effort, they could be walked together with 10 times their current pay packet and just pull your finger up? Yeah, right, yeah, no. That's why I usually tell them that the best thing that they could do is to go on strike and shut these mother f**kers down.

That this is, you know, I'm rebuilding Marx's labor theory of value in the streets, which is you don't have your money because someone else has it. Unfortunately, we know his name and we can walk to his house right now. Not just, yeah, just put it in, put it in a bit harder for the next 13. Britain is running out of European Laurie drivers. Markers are, um,

college correspondent, any possible reasons why in Britain post Brexit, there are fewer people coming from the EU to do the job? It's a, I know, I don't know, it's a absolute puzzle. I mean, we have a perfectly fair reasonable referendum on Brexit, during which one of the main arguments from the leave campaign is fucking bastard forum, fucking working bastards coming over here in our country. We're better off without an all that and then certain people bloody pick up on that, builders and that, you know, I still love the arguments from builders that go, figure his all the remaining published builders come over here. We can't keep up because they'll say to they'll say to someone, we'll come round on a Wednesday and then they come round on a Wednesday. We can't

keep up without coming. So the suggestion has come that these haulage companies hire more British lorry drivers but then the problem is that it takes, you know, some time to train the Laurie drivers on to get the license to drive these, these, these vehicles. But I mean, Mark, I mean, should you need a special license to drive a 25 ton Laurie if you are British, because surely being British is license enough in it. Something being a member of the nation that has transported more goods around the world than any other disclaimer, fact maybe false, is that not proof that you can handle a five-axle articulated lorry? I think so. I think if you can ride one of those little

veil-o-motor things that the Parisian centres, the people are now sort of, you know, those things that go on pavements and in the road and managed to up turn they up turn lorries that's probably that's probably dealt with about a thousand of them no you know those and they go through the co-op and through your house and you know those annoying people I think if you can ride one of those that's probably enough isn it, or a golf buggy? Golf buggy, yeah, because that's got a bit of stuff on the back sometimes. Yeah, just... Yeah, well, yeah, it can't be much to a lorry, can it? It's red tape, red tape that says that you need some vague understanding of our gear's

work before driving a 20-ton lorry at the M6. That's holding back as a notion. living at 20 tonne lorry at the M6. That's how the back of the nation. Palettes. The business actually quasi-quarting as rejected calls to relax immigration rules, claiming that it would be a short term temporary solution. The fuck, psych?

Isn't that what politics is all about? Which short term temporary solutions? Are the fucking reason we left the EU in the first place. To get away from a long term lasting solution to the thorny issue of you are killing each other and industrial numbers every one or in an unusually chilled out century to generation. Also, you know, we voted for Brexit in order to take back control of the controls we already controlled anyway, but more so, I think. But we did not vote for Brexit to bring an end to the God-given British right to filter useful people from other countries when we can't be asked to generate enough useful people

ourselves. Whatever happens to be required at the time whether it's doctors, surgeons, lorry drivers, number four batsmen or donors to political parties. Now, that is all right. All right, to find what we need from the world. In other British political news, some very exciting news about Michael Gove, who we've discussed in various bugles over the years, he has been seen, quotes, dancing alone in an Aberdeen nightclub, whilst quotes, Mary.

Now, I mean, it's, this is just not a headliner I expected to see Mark, Michael Gove dancing alone in a nightclub. I mean, is it a sign of the end times, do you think? I've got a terrible feeling this is going to be good for him. Right. Isn't it? Well, isn't it making him look vaguely human, which he isn't?

Yes. I mean, it could be, I mean, I guess, is Michael Gove dancing alone publicly in a nightclub better than Michael Gove dancing in the privacy of his own dungeon, as it normally does. I mean, I guess it would be more worrying if he was dancing not alone, but that would make it really concerning. When his wife's left him, isn't he? So I suppose it means that it sounds like he is more fun in a nightclub than say Andy's husband, who I can't imagine dancing in any capacity

in the nightclub. No, I don't know. My nightclub stats are pretty poor, to be honest. Not many visits, not a lot of dancing. My favorite part of the Michael, like, I don't know anything about this person. I don't even know what Aberdeen is, but I read the story. My favorite part of the whole thing in the article describing Michael Gove dancing alone in the nightclub is that the article said that his arms occasionally swung in time to the music, like he was hitting every six feet or something. Yes, I mean, it's a it's a understandably upsetting concept for many people go dancing. It's an image that frankly is now scared into the subconscious of all who've seen it.

It's just something that doesn't seem right like a pole dancing pope or indeed a nightclub DJ becoming a Cabinet minister, which is sort of the flip side of that. There are reports unsubstantiated that he claimed he didn't have to pay the five pound entry fee to get in because he's chancellor of the Dutchy of Lancaster. There are other reports also unsubstantiated that the when he started dancing the faces of everyone else in the nightclub melted and their harrowed screaming souls evaporated into the ether. That is just a rumor that we should emphasize. It's not the first time a prominent conservative has appeared at a surprising music venue.

Eerily reminiscent Mark, of course, when Enoch Powell threw his underpants onto the stage of the small faces gig in the late 1960s and may they call me sign at Steve Marriott, or when Norman Tebbet punched sex pistols from a pool cook in the face at a gig at a hundred club in 1976 while shouting, I've never felt so alive. And who can forget Margaret Thatcher, mimeing along to sister Sledges, he's the greatest dancer in a top of the pops recording shortly before the 1979 general election in which she became prime minister of view to the crucial moment in winning over the electorally important disco fan vote. Yeah, I think New Labor probably as well. They were very, they were very nightclub, he went there, he had a mandrelson and people like that on top of that.

But it's funny when it's these, isn't it? Pretty Patel. All right, give it up for my main man. You all know him as Gavin Williamson, the notorious GAVIM coming at you. In sadder musical news, the Rolling Stones drummer Charlie Watson's bank is final drum. It's died at the age of 80. He's hit a drum or symbol, an estimated half a billion times over the past 60 plus years, probably more or less based on some rapid mathematics. The stones, none of whose members went on to record Mull of Kintai or the Frog Chorus,

thus giving them an overall win in their rivalry with the contemporaries, the Beatles. Had many still overcome their disappointment at never being selected as Great Britain's Rep Centre for the Eurovision Song Contest to become one of the most influential groups in the history of rock and roll and I mean they did try to get into Eurovision despite you know penning such classics as Gimme Shelter simply for the devil and the Rolly Rolly Rolly Stone themed tune for a kids cartoon that was never released after the incident during the filming of the video which are five times older crashed into a car show room in the Italian Alps and destroyed a vintage alpha remade, once driven by Alberto Asgari. I digress. Anyway, watch this.

You know, you're one of the most, I guess, influential rock drummers of all time. Mark, are you a stone's fan? Yeah, I am. And yeah, you're right about Charlie Watts. So he was a jazz drummer, and that's what, that's one of the reasons it was so, one of the many reasons why I think the stones are so extraordinary. And give me a shout out as a classic example of it, because it's not a classic rock drum in it.

So it's a lot to be to know that I can possibly be technical, but it's sort of off the beat. So it's a bit peculiar. It's a very great intricate song. What I thought was just, when he died, and I saw seen other comments from people, and most people, just, you know, many, many people have gone along to the stadium shows. I've never been, oh, I'm sure that is my stupid thing on that, never got gone, probably because from about, in about 1984, when they first started doing these massive 50,000 seats,

stadium shows, I thought, I don't want to see they're actually ridiculous, they're too old and past it now. And that, but they are, these shows, everyone who's been to one pretty much says they are amazing. Except you get the snobbery that you get in any sort of culture of people going, oh no, that's no good, it's all solace. You can't enjoy music if 50,000 other people are having a marvellous time as well.

That ruins it. To really see it, you needed to see them in a scout hut in Penrith in 1961, a year before they were formed, when they couldn't fold any instruments, and Charlie watched used to bang a Brazil nut on a dart ball. And Mick Jagger didn't have any microphones, so he had to just write down satis faction on a sheet of paper and hand it out to people and that's what this is to yourself. That's when you really get to enjoy it. Oh, these fucking people. And it's the left who are the worst. They can't stand any of them being popular. It's just in awful. Well, if you want to see the Bugle Live in a non-stadium venue before we hit the stadium circuit in an estimated two to three years time. There is a bugle live show on Tuesday, the 7th of September, at the Underbellys London

Wunderground venue in Earth's Courts, tickets available on the internet. Chris, will we put a link on the website or not? We have put a link on our new website, which is now live. Oh, yeah. New website. Essentially. Andy, how would you feel if you were standing on stage and you got to hear, you got to say where and hear 50,000 people say in one voice in the bin.

That gave you. Oh, yeah, with lights and stuff. And there was a hundred foot high, Andy's all went on the screen. Yes, master of time matter of time. There was a stage show with actual hair. But then there was loads of people who were listed to the first ones going each rubbish now.

You won't want to go and see it now. You have to go and see the third one in the sound in work and it was just silent. It was much better than that. I was just me sitting on a bench complaining about the world. Well, that brings us to the end of this bugle. I normal thanks to NATO and Mark. NATO-NI shows coming up. People I'd like to see you at. Sure. As usual, please follow me on Twitter at NATO Green, Instagram,

Mr. NATO Green. I have a couple albums out the best way to support the arts is on Bandcamp. Check out the Whiteness Album on Bandcamp or wherever comedy can be screened and downloaded. If you are in Northern California, and you want to see me live, I'll be appearing on September 19th Sunday at the 40th annual comedy day.

It's a tradition where we have five hours of free stand-up comedy in the park. It's like our company picnic comedy festival that we do every year. So looking forward to the return of comedy day at Robert Williams-Metto on September 19th. Mark, you have your own podcast now. Yeah, I'll do a little bit of a sort of, yes, yes, I, this doesn't sound like a rival, you know, lots of been, when someone, when one of the people in the Godfather breaks away from their own family. Yes, it's called what the F star, star star is going on.

And, yeah, we've done 10, we've done 10 we've done 10 which puts us only 4103 We do I a dive for the next 30 years does that that might do it? Yeah, so there's that and then I've got a book coming out and And one of my shows about towns Will be there be another series of that soon and and stuff like that there you go to buy stroke go to all of those and the new live show seventh of September by your tickets instantly now um I will be on tour next March delayed from uh what I've mentioned I'll be going November, Stroke December, it's now going to happen in March, almost certainly. So further

details to come. In the meantime we will play you out with some lies about our premium level subscribers to join the Bugle Voluntry subscription scheme, or to make a one-off or recurring donation of any size, go to the Bugle Podcast.com and click the donate button. Travis Carrata is not particularly excited about the prospect of living in an extra terrestrial colony. I can't help thinking it's not going to be all it's cracked up to be, says Travis. Everyone who ends up there is going to be smuggers hell about having escaped to a new planet, which I think would pull pretty rapidly.

And I don't know what the food would be like, but I reckon it's unlikely to be as good as here. Samantha Lasel is also not likely to be volunteering enthusiastically to be on the first spaceship to blast off to another world. I reckon the novelty would wear off pretty fast once it became clear that the infrastructure will take some time to match what we enjoy on this planet, and I'm all about the infrastructure me continue Samantha, don't believe anyone who tells you otherwise. It's what makes our species so much better than the others, with all due respect to the

termites and bees who have, I will admit, some serious infrastructural chops. Joshua Summer Hayes, however, does not share the skepticism and is prepared to lay aside some lingering concerns about it taking potentially many many generations to get wherever it is we're going. I get a bit bored after three hours on a train to be honest, Andy, says Joshua. Joshua, however, would love to be in the first batch of humans to arrive at a new, far distant home for humanity. What a great opportunity to develop some new recipes with whatever crazy fruit and vegetables we find enthuses Joshua. I'm not eating alien, though. Almost certainly not. Gemma Dan would be right alongside Joshua on the rocket. I'm not that fast about living

on another planet, says Gemma, but I reckon in the time before Batch 2 arrives, we could place some awesome practical jokes on them, like all learning Klingon, or building a 100-meter-votive statue to form a child star Mickey Rooney, or all wearing 18th century clothes, or potentially getting someone to dress up like a Amelia Earhart, and putting her in charge of the whole gaff. Something to really make them think something weird is going on. And finally Tim Strickland is undecided on whether to apply for the mission. Let's face it says Tim, anyone who's ever watched a sci-fi movie knows these things aren't a cakewalk in the cake park.

I mean if it's not alien mega beasts eating you for breakfast or surprise volcanoes, belching out poisonous lava, or the new sun running out of fire, the chances are some tool and the crew is going to try to turn the whole thing into his own personal fiefdom, and I can't abide fiefdoms, so put me down as a maybe. Here and if, this week's lies. Goodbye.