The Bugle - The Bugle – John Oliver Speaks

Episode Date: June 29, 2012

As The Bugle prepares to celebrate a fine double century, producer Chris puts some listener questions to John Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....

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Starting point is 00:00:34 The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world. Hello, I'm producer Chris. This is a special edition of a program related to the bugle I'm going to call a bugle extra. I'm joined now by someone who you might be familiar with. It's John Oliver. Hello Chris. Hello, Gluers? How you doing, John? Fine, thanks mate, how are you? Very good. Let's not be around the bush. Questions? I've got loads submitted by the audience here.
Starting point is 00:01:12 First ones from Mark James. Dear John, how did you meet Andy and why? I met Andy. I was like, I saw a lot of the extra sensual second part of that question. I think I'm met Andy at the Cosmic Comedy Club in London, which I guess now is some kind of low grade restaurant, but then it was a low grade comedy club.
Starting point is 00:01:38 And we were both about to do a gig, both on the notes to us, about to bomb pretty hard on the. And we already have been put together on it, but we were about to go on tour with each other and we never met each other. We were about to go on tour with a guy called Johnny Cannon around English colleges. And so, we kind of met briefly then before spending a lot of time together, I guess it was a lot of time together that cemented our friendship. And as for why, that is a good question, and I ask myself that every time Andy opened it, I'm out. David Callahan, do you fear doing the bugle is holding back your
Starting point is 00:02:20 singing career? Yes, I mean, obviously I started the vehicle as a way to segue into really power balance as a living and for some reason that hasn't happened yet. I don't know if it's because that's not, that's because I'm not pushing hard enough because the music industry is struggling a little at the moment. Have you heard, I mean, it's a so platinum disc, Chris. Have you heard? I've been in the cell platinum disc, Chris. Have you heard the listeners' compilation
Starting point is 00:02:48 of all your bugle-singing moments? I've got through about two minutes. I've got two minutes. It's a wonderful 15 minutes or more, I think. Fifth, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Congratulations. That is a constant copyright infringement.
Starting point is 00:03:07 That's 15 million some litigious things. Jess Bays is being separated by the Atlantic Ocean, the only way to sustain a long-term working relationship with Andy Zaltsman. What it seems, so, you know, it's a major week. I think we've become more comfortable with a large body of water between us. I think I remember when we were doing them in the same room, Andy likes to make sure there's
Starting point is 00:03:33 at least a glass of water between us as well, just because otherwise it feels different from a quite right. But yeah, I guess the vehicle has been a perfect way to keep in touch with Andy on both a professional and a personal level. The fact that I've hit record is merely a bonus. Yeah, that's right. There's so many questions about Andy's pun runs and your perspective on them.
Starting point is 00:03:57 I mean, there's too many to just pick one out, but how would you describe it? I've just wondered as any questions. Well, I was wondering any questions. I feel like I've made my views on Andy's pun runs pretty clear. but how would you describe it? Well, I was wondering any questions. I feel like I've made my views on Andy Pondruns pretty clear. I don't think there's much gray area in terms of what I'm reacting to. I'm against Andy Pondruns.
Starting point is 00:04:15 I know that I've become across as a joke, you know, it seems like a comic anguish, but you were thinking comic anguish for actual anguish. I do not respect the Pond Chris. I do not respect the pun, Chris. I do not admire the pun. And he comes to our theatre pun. I do not see it at the pun. I want to conquer the pun.
Starting point is 00:04:31 I would like to completely eliminate it from the English language. I am a Ganged one pun. I am even more against two puns. And the pun run, I think, you're a human right to the fraction. This leads quite nicely onto a human right to the fraction. This leads quite nicely onto a question from Richard Avery. How much did you pay Andy to stop the audio cryptic crossword? You might need to explain what it is to a new bugler.
Starting point is 00:04:54 Well, I've only started the view of all this. You would go back in years now. Andy did, yeah, and audio cryptic cross words and there was a clue that he would he would know the answer to because it probably that he did so much around lies that that really removes any chance of answering any of the cryptic
Starting point is 00:05:18 cause of the questions because you need to not know the answer to the company you need to know the answer to a lie that has somehow formed in and it had that is beyond cryptic that is borderline impossible and so that it happened every beautiful while and it was slowly breaking me and you know I thank the hypothetical law every day that there is no more conflict across for it if he could just if he could just destroy pan-runs as well then I would be a believer. Well let's see what be equal to 100 holds in regards. Jack Rogers when will you leave America and go back to wherever you're from? Well I don't know I'm not sure about you know i'm currently contracted to be in america
Starting point is 00:06:07 uh... in biocomps and the u.s. government i guess i'm here for the foreseeable future and then all the people are really remember where i'm from so then i'll just become a little bit of hope i think one bit from town for town uh... i'm going where i belong who's right this is lawce Taylor, who's Ruth? Would you paint a massive penis on?
Starting point is 00:06:29 And why? Great question. You're going to go a long way to find a better Ruth than the Vatican. Because what you guarantee, Dave, your attention. And it can't be angry because the penis of course one of his creations So it's both an insult and a tribute in a way. I think I think the Vatican would be really something to really ongoing around next week as well
Starting point is 00:06:57 So I might even give it a go John I've never charted helicopters before funnily enough But I think for that that would be reason alone to chart your first helicopter. Again, nice aerial view. Matthew King. I'm a dinejad, Sharves or Kane, who would win in a fight? Someone Kane. Now that might be because I've had some personal contact with Hermann Cain, but it's also because I think that is a
Starting point is 00:07:28 man who is pure, confusing charisma could bamboozle with a parliament through so he just wouldn't want to hit him in the face. Where you've met him, you don't want to strike him, and obviously that would be a huge advantage on his part. Jason Bellam, what do you tell the people of the daily show you are doing when you are recording the bugle? Basically just a regular appointment at almost Jane's Lady Boy in Portray.
Starting point is 00:07:54 Yeah. Well, you have to shift it up, because you can't just, they're not going to believe I go to that particular important for, you know, four straight years uh... so no it's basically a uh... uh... you've got to come up with a new paul the ball but imagine that it's a lie each week uh... Greg joiner if you could have any of the bad shit crazy dictators and despots mentioned in the last two hundred episodes
Starting point is 00:08:22 to replace Chris i meanMe, who would that be? Again, that's not a strong question. I think all boys. Who would you like to say f*** you to on a weekly basis? It might be an easier way of putting it. There are so many. I think, you know, I think that actually would run a pretty loose ship of a podcast. So I think, I think to hear that actually producing a podcast I think would be quite interesting. Partly because, you know, there's a little bit of previous between a, you know, that free and the bugle. If you've found out anywhere like that, I uh... the view uh... if you found out any about that i'm getting a little
Starting point is 00:09:07 you know how you you're good to you sit back in your chip in christ but that's not the way interrupts as soon as i get to it hello you would be here jump in and then the next four hours will also you're gonna look at length remember that you do the year-end with the two line of like this It would be interesting to see you we can check off first Andy or me
Starting point is 00:09:31 Caron nights I'm almost at the end John a caron nights if you could change one thing about Andy Regardless of guilt or consequences What would you change What would you change? Oh, God, you're just spoiled for choice. It's hard to know with Andy. You know I've come Mr Burns in the Sims Center, almost every human disease known to man, who are kind of working against each other in perfects and critics.
Starting point is 00:10:00 It's hard to know that if you're a little one thing from Andy, the whole thing might just fall apart. So I'm trying to lead him as he is just to kind of human case study in life. Wow. It is quite scary when he out all of a sudden comes out with a real zinger of effect because you've got a doubt it. You've got a doubt it. Yeah, that's right. He's been boiling you've got bullshit and he hasn't even been for too long. Final question, I think it's a very appropriate final question from Sam Schaeffer. If your life were a musical, which lets face it, it pretty much is, what would your big finale number be? I was standing in question. My big finale number, every musical needs one. You've got a choir
Starting point is 00:10:49 of children behind you. You've got a fake helicopter about to decide this end from the top of the stage I can decide on. You've got a brass section. You've got a brass section, you've got a t-shirt cannon. God, you've got a long way to better a valid slow version that they've got back by some extra lots and some with real passion and worth with your sweet orchestral backing I think it would be that. Take it down and then bring it up. Exactly. John, thank you very much.
Starting point is 00:11:30 You're welcome, very welcome. Congratulations to you on 200 Bugles. Thank you. Well, yeah, congratulations on 1-9-9. Let's not get the Yips right now. I'm going to assume we're going to make it. We're going to make it. Yes. And you can find out what Andy thinks of you next week.
Starting point is 00:11:48 I think I already know, but it'll be nice to have a confirm. It's almost like that bit after blind dates where they get to listen back to the reactions of the other person, yeah. Like, you're actually what it is. Well, I'm sure you'll still be together for the 200. Yeah. Well, thanks, mate.
Starting point is 00:12:05 Nice job, John. Thanks very much. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪

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