The Bugle - The Bugle Q&A, vol 1

Episode Date: March 23, 2012

A listener generated Q&A. If it's bad, it's your fault http://thebuglepodcast.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world. Hello Bugleers and welcome to Bugle 187, sob episode Alpha. We're off this week because John's on holiday and you know I've just got shit to do. Got to stick up a shelf with me. And instead we're doing a Q&A and you have submitted questions to the Bugle Twitter, me and Anne on Facebook. And we are going to attempt to answer as many as possible in the short time available. And it turns out that asking Bugle's for questions, Andy, is waving a red flag in front

of a very eccentric ball? I'll put a thing up on the at-hell-of-bugalist Twitter feed and I've received, it seems about 200 questions in two hours. You've stuck something up on Facebook and I've received a similar amount. Yeah, and I'm really, really thinking about quitting. Staring off the edge of a cliff of sanity.

Well, we've put out some questions, Andy. I'm happy to answer any of them and all of them. John, what's your favourite breed of horse? That's from Shane Porter. My favourite breed of horse? Good question. I guess a grey horse. That's the only breed of horse I know, the grey ones.

Which was a... What horse was that one that had a movie made about it? The Spider-Man Road. The Spider-Man Road? The Spider-Man Road? The Spider-Man Road? That's my favourite breed of horse. The Spider-Man Road.

Any horse that has Spider-Man riding it and making people cries, find by me. Well, there's been some breaking news today that, well, today as we record, way back in distant histories you'll listen to this, the art's Bishop of Canterbury is stepping down. And this question from Greg Jenner, can lapsed Jews be the art's Bishop of Canterbury? If so, let's drop the schmolts and bring on the salts. Well, look, if it's not for your campaign to be archbishop Andy, it's got to be for your campaign to be something.

Drop the schmaltz, bring on the results. Well, at the Zoltzman for IOC Olympic Commissioner. Well, I mean, also, all Christians not technically laps Jews. Well, Andy, that's definitely the Jewish view of that. You know, since Paul, the founder of the, yeah, was it Peter or Paul who founded the, God, you're a terrible Jew. Well, that's after the relevant bit, isn't it?

That's when it gets into the creative writing stage, rather than you can go and give them truth, doesn't it? That's just someone's, you know, the movie project. Well, I guess in relation to the question, Andy, I wouldn't bring that up at your job interview for I suppose you have a can Anyway, the well that's the creative writing stage the point is some Peter lapsed you yeah, Pope Pope number one. Yeah, Pope hashtag one. Yeah, lapsed you lapsed you So I don't see why I could not be the I suppose of can to bring what it a bold interview technique move Andy

Yeah, but you know who knows, it could be successful, might separate you from the pack. I'm not sure I could, I'm not, I think the hat might suit me, actually. I think that's probably true. You just gotta hope it doesn't make you look too much like you're in a Cooke-Cock's clan. I should try one on, that might be a good idea.

I'm, forgive a while. What? What? Who would win in a fight? Ask Tom Ward, John or Andy? What kind of fight, Andy? Well, I know just as a fight. There were actually quite a few on this similar question. A bit of a fight.

Well, I don't know, Andy. I guess there's only one way to find out. And that is to put on some music, strip to the waist and wrestle in front of a fire like God in heaven. That's what us Brits do, isn't it? That's how we settle every argument. That's how we settle every argument. This from the Oso Curly one, right, what's the funniest thing Horace Ormettilda has ever

said to my children? What do you reckon? Well, I'd say probably when my daughter was still less than two years old, and she The funniest thing Horace Ormertilda has ever said, my children, what do you reckon? Well, I'd say probably when my daughter was still less than two years old, and she said to me, grow up daddy. I remember that. Come here, please.

That was both very funny and a very good point. Thought that kid smart, that's a perceptive charcoe. Look, I need a more mature role model to find to grow properly. On that note Ian Hayden's got a kind of comedy joke here, which was technically funnier, the cock on the bulls. Ooh, that is a good question. I mean, that is almost like a Buddhist film.

We're talking about this former New York Mayor Ed Cox. We're talking about. Or current, current Liberal Democrat Ed Bulls. Is Labour John, you think? They've been out of it. I mean, it's only a label, really. The cock or the Bulls, I mean, they're both extremely amusing. I mean, both benefit the other as well.

I guess they've greater than the sum of their parts. I'd probably say separate balls. Big Chief Grah asks, isn't the internet great? Can we start a bugle political party? You should be co-proministers. That ain't going to happen. That's not going to happen for good reasons. And a very good economic and political reasons. Plus, John's just too busy.

No, the film is going to work. Can't do it. Can't do it. A Smurfs 2 might be happening. Whilst, hello from the to North asks, if you were to melt down Ed Miliband for scrap, what would you make from the resulting molten liquid? Well, first I'd remove that if and replace it with a win handy. What would I've guess? I'd build an Edmila Band series of action figures. I'd build 1500 Edmila Band action figures

for children. Or put them to sleep. Different poses. Yeah. Slightly annoying, the groundless grandstanding pose. Yeah, I'll give it away with McDonald's happy meals. Yeah, and the slogan, this man is too young to be a political leader. Can't get a proper job. Miss, Miss Dan, Miss Danicking it. This is the thing with Twitter names. They sound like stupid horse names.

Osk's, and this, some of you might be able to answer. Is Rick Santoram really as mad as a bag of hammers as he seems, how long before Armageddon if he gets elected to the big deal? He is, he is mad as a bag of hammers. If he gets, I won't be around. If he gets to be president of the United States, I won't be around to see Amageddon

and because I will have thrown myself into the Grand Canyon. So you'll have to let me know in the afterlife. Right. Will there be, will there not be quite a traffic jam to get to the Grand Canyon? Well, I also, also, I think I'd be in real trouble because we did, we did a piece

of the first Republican debate where I held up, we were doing it like it was a horror movie and I held up across into Rixandor's face in the press room and started chanting, yeah, either I walked through the valley of the shadow of death. I remember singing his face and it was a face of a man who was definitely not a muse to bite. I was removed from the press area after that. So I think I'm probably on some kind of list. At best case scenario, I get a full tax audit. Worst case scenario, it's the chair Andy. Mood case scenario deportation.

Ha ha ha. Andy James Edwards tonight, there'll be a sequel to the congressman's penis. Ha ha ha. It's a franchise Andy. Yeah, I mean, that's not in my hands. I guess those who end up digging up John's John Grisham's backyard to find what's been buried underneath. Do you have this more manuscripts? It's like a Oxy-Rinkus. Fair point. Any more so. Sean T Ellis writes, will you mention my friend Alex Turs? I'm trying to get his name on every

podcast I listen to, so he thinks I'm stalking him. No, no absolutely We won't won't do that. Absolutely. The name Alex Terce will never be mentioned in a podcast Barra Kluf asks what's your favorite cheese? Good question. I like cheese now. You're to go a long way Andy to beat a good parmesan. Yep. Yep. It ain't just about sprinkling on pasta, Andy. Yeah. Well, that's a multi-purpose cheese, the parmesan, isn't it? Strong team player. Yeah. And yeah, also it's a flare player on it's own, but it'll do a job for you. Yeah. An excellent, you know, sliced into a salad. when there's very few

salads that can't be improved. That's what I'm talking about. It's based on it. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, Pomazan is the iniesta of Cheez's Andy. It's an unsung hero and it's technically perfect. Yeah. But it's, yeah, I mean it's just floats into spaces that you don't even know exist. What about, what about your diet? What about you Andy? I mean you're a man who's uh, eat normally an entire brie on a day. That's right. Well, I don't know. I like an applause, John.

Yeah, what is that? That's a kind of soft, moldy number. Yeah. Generally comes in a little wooden round box. Is that a room clearer? That is a room clearer. Yeah, that can definitely vacate a premises. It's a funky cheese, isn't it?

The George Clinton cheese, all right? That's right. Yeah, it looks like a really comfortable mattress, and it's a really easy one. It tastes like a really uncomfortable mattress. A lizard with tape George has got an ambiguous question here. How did Andy find America? And I don't know if that's geographically or in terms of enjoyment. Well, both ways, Andy.

How did you find America? Well, I just looked down out of the plain. Yeah. It's pilot land me there. That'll do. Oh, shit, that's new for me. Yeah, a little bit further, please. A little bit further.

That's Mexico. Too far. Back, back, back. And what about how do you find it in general, Andy? It's awesome, Mike. It's the greatest country in the world. Number one, number one. So, yeah, they haven't learned how to say math.

Math. Don't need to. Or sport. Don't need, yeah. That's plural. Math. Singular watch. What is up with you people?

You are monsters. Don't need to say words accurately, Andy. Right. Not when you have the amount of hot dogs that't need to say words accurately, Andy. Right. Not when you have the amount of hot dogs that are in this country. Hot dogs are nuclear weapons, because you can play fast and loose with language. Sure is.

You want to call me on that? No, it's been good. But I've eaten too much red meat. Yeah, well, that's in the eye of the beholder. The beholder being a doctor looking at the scan of your stomach. LAUGHTER This question from Kender's rule asks, is it okay to teach one's baby to high five before he can even talk?

I was saying not only okay, I'd say it's essential. It's advisable. I taught my baby to flip John the bird. It was too weak, so... Yeah, you taught them bird before you taught the high five before you taught speech. So, yeah, you wanted your kids to be able to send a message early on. Yeah, you told them bird before you told the high five before you told speech. So you wanted your kids to be able to send a message early on. Yeah. So yeah, get them train them up early. Yeah. Oh, this one, we're going to go a bit blue here, John. This is from Kev Bo the Toe. Yeah. What does Rick Santoram think of whilst sexing his wife? And that is that sexy as in the veterinary sense determining the gender of. I think that

is exactly what it is. I mean, we need to know. Sure. I mean, if America's already made one mistake of electing a Kenyan Muslim to be president, it doesn't want to make another mistake of electing a man who's married another man who's then given him multiple children. I think that is the, that is just how much Rick Santorum is against equal rights for gay people and he checks his wife's gender every time he walks in the door. Just to be sure, he doesn't want to be breaking God's completely unwritten law. So I don't know, I mean, it's hard, I don't want to be breaking gods completely unwritten law. So I don't know, I mean it's hard, I don't know. I'd imagine he just thinks, thinks of Jesus

whilst engaged in the procreation of that. I think he probably thinks of Jesus or Stanley Matthews. So then I mean, the line between those two is just wafer thing. Jesus Stanley Matthews and tax breaks for the rich. Oh yeah. Ha ha ha. I don't know, wonder they've got for the rich. Oh yeah. Ha ha ha. I wonder they got so many kids.

Ha ha ha. Oh yeah. Well that's it, John's got to go off and do an interview. But, well I've quite enjoyed that. We might do that again next time we have a week off. Thanks for all your questions. I've not been able to answer more. But you know, John's in Shobbush.

He's got a pop tour man about a dog. I'm a, that's right. By the time you get back to our apartment Andy, got him. We were already calling it our apartment. All of your possessions are going to be inside my dog stomach. That's right. You're going to be flying back like my friend. I'm going to be flying back in a collar. I pitch you guys in bunk beds. It's lovely. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha you