The Cake Eaters - 102. Dawson's Creek Season 1: Episodes 10-13

Episode Date: January 28, 2025

The boys have decided to tackle the beast that is Dawson's Creek! This week they go through Season 1: Episodes 10-13. Heath and Brandon talk through each episode, bros before hoes, friday the 13th, beauty pageants, prison visits, the start of Pacey and Joey, Dawson's constant mistakes, and the season one finale! Follow us on Instagram @thecakeeaterspod Email us at [e-mail]

Hey Spotify, this is Javi. My biggest passion is music, and it's not just sounds and instruments. It's more than that to me. It's a world full of harmonies with chillers. From streaming to shopping, it's on Prime. It's not worth winning if you can't win them! The strands in your eyes, they color them wonderful, stop me and steal my breath. And emeralds from mountains that thrust toward the sky, never revealing their depth. And tell me that we belong together. Dress it up with the trappings of love.

I'll be captivated. I'll hang from your lips instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above. Sing it, Brandon. Sing it with me. And I'll be your crying shoulder. I'll be love suicide. And I'll be better when I'm older.

I'll be the greatest fan of your life. My God, Brandon, how's that out of key rendition for you? I forgot how ridiculous the lyrics of those verses are. Oh, good, dude. My absolute favorite is, and dressing up with the trappings of love. Like the trappings of love. Yeah, that's that's what Kelly and I's relationship is built upon. It's just filled with trappings of love.

And then he was talking about emeralds and mountains. I'm pretty sure he referenced Lord of the Rings there for a second. The emerald, emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky, never revealing their depth. But that's a lyrical genius right there. They just don't take them like they used to. That's a whole lot of nothing. That's like the whole point, right? Like songs don't, like if you're looking for depth in certain songs, like you might just keep looking. Like sometimes you don't need the lyrics to make sense. You just need it to sound good for the song. Classic white man poetry, just talking to talk.

Oh my God, dude. That's classic. This is a privilege. You know, privilege poetry is what they call that. I think. What's the quote about brevity is the brevity is the soul of wit. I forget if he says that. Dude, I, I do have to say though, Brandon, this is back to back episodes where we

had absolute bangers from the 90s. The soundtrack. Like, I'm going to tell you the soundtrack only gets better from here. We had absolute bangers from the 90s. The soundtrack. But like. I'm gonna tell you, the soundtrack only gets better from here. My goodness. It's top notch.

You don't have to talk me into this show at all anymore. All the way in, last episode, I was like, oh no, oh no. Like I was actually exclaiming out loud when I thought it was like, dude, Oh no, oh no. Like I was actually exclaiming out loud when I thought it was like, dude, the, the chaos, the fact that like the teen, like, you know, it's like teenagers, everything really is the end of the world. I kept, I kept, I kept, I screamed probably eight or nine times throughout every single episode of this fucking season. Just talk to each other. But then I was thinking, I was thinking back and I was like, I know I say that now as a wise, you know, 30, 30, how old am I?

Early 30s? Three? You're 32, aren't you? No, 33. As a wise 33 year old, it's easy for me to say, you know, just talk to him now. But as a teenager, I didn't talk about my feelings at all. I was just as bad as all these motherfuckers. Well, I mean, as someone who has never, I don't know if I'm necessarily emoted in like a, a normal human fashion. And so, you know, I'm at the best.

Like if someone cries in front of me, my God, I don't know how to react as a person. And I am so bad. And like, you know, not to put her on blast, but Kelly, you know, she's a sweet cancer, right? Like for our astrologists out there. So she's got that sensitive soul and I am a fiery Aries. So I accidentally hurt her feelings all the time.

Right? On accident. And, and boy, you know, if she, like if something happens in life and, and she starts crying, it's, it's, I start just like patting her gently, you know? It's like, Hey, Oh, Oh, See I, should we, should we stop? Oh, oh, oh, oh, we're leaking. Dawson had a little bit of that with,

Oh my God, I relate to that. It'll be okay. If his eyes are all big, he's fucking. When she's just in this room crying, I'm like, oh my God, that is me trying to console someone. Like, okay, you know what I do? I just grab it and I bury it deep within myself. And I just, I just leave it there.

And then if someone tries to talk to me about it, I go, it's all good. See, I'm a, I'm a big fan of the, the self deprecated joke. Like, you okay, Brandon? Yeah, I'm not a fucking pussy. Yeah. What's, what's the Midwestern cry for help? Oh, live in the dream. Yes. You hear a Midwestern man for help? Oh, live in the dream. Yes. You hear a Midwestern man telling you that he's live in the dream.

My God. He is dying inside. He is dying inside. Send in some help. He is on the edge, my friend. He is holding on for dear life. I am terrible at consoling people as well, but I'm the opposite of you. So I'm a, I'm a Gemini. I don't know what that means, but I am what you would call a sympathetic crier. Oh, I, listen,

I will cry with you. I won't see. So that's, that's my problem is you start crying because you're sad. I start crying because you're crying. And now we have two people crying. You know, now, now the train has left the station. We're, you know, we're not, we're nobody's, nobody's helping anybody here. That's where, that's where I came in and just gently pat each of you on the back going, but no dude, it's a, it's, I can't, I cannot remember for the life of me the last time I had a genuine cry for myself, but I've probably cried because other people have cried at least 10 times in the last two weeks.

Dude, sometimes, sometimes all it takes is a commercial. Somebody's crying on a commercial. I'm balling. I was going to say it like sometimes, you know, like you can get, I get really caught up in like movies and stuff. I did win grams like this last episode this one I because none of them were really crying. Jen was kind of crying but they didn't they didn't touch the sympathy for me on this one. But I will say I was watching Law

and Order two days ago and one of the detectives dies in the episode I was watching and I fucking I was bawling my eyes out. I was over is over listen I don't even like the character. I didn't even fucking care about the characters just cuz everybody else is fucking crying Dude, did we did we talk on the podcast about the last time I watched homeward bound? Oh, do you like it? That's oh my Brandon dude, I saw sometimes I'll be so I oh my god. Are you a masochist? Sometimes there's like, you know, I just gotta get it out.

It's gotta happen. I can feel it. I'm feeling a little rough. Like let me just dude. I was a dude faster. I can do that shadow to shadow and just be like, I can't do it pop dude. See that's where I lose it.

I can't that's where grams, I think it was like grams breaking down in the church. It wasn't necessarily the the TV. It was more of me. It was more of like my biggest. Right. Like that was more of like, oh, my God, like one day I'm going to have to deal with this. And right. I mean, grants, we got to talk about grants. I got some thoughts and right. I mean the grants we gotta talk about grams

I got some thoughts on grants. Yeah, we can we can get to these I can't do that I can't do the masochistic stuff. I'm all for it. I can't do it with dogs though, dude Like I mark me. Oh my god. I've never seen it. I never will don't It's listed as a comedy on HBO. Those sick fucking bastards. There is nothing funny about the end of that movie. But the vast majority of my algorithm for TikTok and Instagram is dogs. It's like 95% dogs.

And every once in a while, it'll take a veer into dead dog, sad dog story territory. And I'll be sitting on the'll be like sitting on the toilet at like 6 30 in the morning and just get the worst videos ever. And it's like, you ruined my fucking day. I can't, I can't recover from this. When Ben Kirk Herbstreet's dog passed.

And I am just, dude, I am innocently, I am innocently- He had a fucking press pass now. Imagine innocently scrolling, you know, social media one morning. And then that just comes up and you're like, oh, and then and then all of a sudden it's like, oh, OK, so I'm crying. I'm kicking up my morning crying uncontrollably because Jenkins just turned 13 years old.

Like, awesome. Thanks. Thanks, algorithm. Like, awesome. Thanks. Thanks. Algorithm like dude, anyway, I am a like I'm a sucker for for dogs in general, but if you like turn it up to 10 for anything golden retriever related, like it's so much worse. Like, I don't know, I love golden retrievers. And so like anytime one in some habits with them, I'm like, I'm ready to fucking end the world. I'm ready to throw down. Dude, there was this one speaking of things that randomly made me cry on social media,

which is a really weird topic that we've gotten into. Dude, there's this have you seen the commercial for like the English soccer guys for men's mental health awareness week? Oh, my God. What a tearjerker. Like it was just long story short, the commercial is men's mental health awareness. And it's like grumpy dude goes with outgoing dude. Probably hit too close to home, I guess. They go to the game and then all of a sudden, like the last game of the season, he just puts the Jersey over the seat

for his outgoing buddy because he killed himself. And I was like, what the fuck is happening in this commercial? It was, I was just drenched. I was like, this is the saddest fucking one minute commercial I've ever seen in my life, dude. It was, it's like, what are the Brits doing over there, man? Like, this is fucking sad, you know?

But anyways, singing Savage Garden, that's what they're doing. Well, I mean, that video is so good. The fact that they all just look like the most like stereotypical soccer hooligans you could imagine to do as hey, listen, as an Exeter city football club foundation member, I'm basically half British Exeter city, but the Grecians that's where we're at. Anyways. All right. So we've got Brandon.

We've got, let's get back to the pod. Good Lord. We've gone off the rails. We've got the final four episodes of Dawson's Creek. Why are we talking about the crying? Because like, dude, they did everything in their power. That last episode, they played, they threw going back to dogs, they played the Sarah McLachlan animal shelter song twice, twice to milk them. And then they hit, um, rascal flats with every, not rascal flats. It was a girl. It was the original one Not Rascal Flats, it was a girl.

It was the original one, I believe. Oh, it was, okay. The original, the OG, but my god, dude. Well, Melody Fritton did? That's the version they play. I don't know if it's the original. It was so good. But we've got four episodes, episodes 10 through 13.

Amazing. We've got, it starts, kicks off with double date. Then it goes to a Friday, the 13th episode. Then we've got a beauty competition. Then we've got- Melody's is a cover too, sorry. All right. Well, you just broke, you just interrupted my quick break.

Well, because I told you I was gonna figure out if it was the original. And then you started yapping about God knows what I wasn't even listening. I was talking about the episodes we're about to talk about to try and tee up. You know, we got our last four episodes. Pacy, Josh Jackson, Melody Crittenden's version of Broken Road, not the original. Just a heads up. Who sings the original?

The original was co-written by Marcus Harmon, Bobby Boy, and Jeff Hanna in 1994. I don't know if it tells me who. Marcus Harmon is the original recording artist. Did Rascal Flatts do anything original then? They rip this one off? They bogarded Life is a Highway because of that Cars movie, but like, they, they bow guarded life as a highway because of that cars movie, but like, dude, the OG life is a highway is so much better. Yeah. Rascal flats.

I love that music video. The life is a highway music video went over big at the, at the babysitters. Like when that, when that plays, you know, behind lightning McQueen, you know, it's a great, great visual, great, plays, you know, behind Lightning McQueen, you know, it's a great, great visual, great, great, um, great times all around. I mean, ka-chow, I get it, dude, but I'm just saying the, the original is, is so much better.

It's like, dude, those, those, um, memes are, it's like, Hey, do you hear, got struck by lightning last night. It's just like, all right, all right. All right. So we've got, let's, let's start off with episode 10, Brandon, because do you want to take a guess at what the, uh, the original movie title was? No, but it made me think of double dare with our boy, Mark Summers. Shout out. Double dare. Yeah. No, it's a modern romance was the original title

Bad romance, this is where we start off with uh with goddamn Bob calling, right? Yes, Bob is not taking the break. Oh, dude. got so much because he did call about a work thing. So he should know his fucking role. I've got three main plot lines and a couple questions that came up for me during episode 10 because episode 10 I have answers. I even have an answer for a question. You're not going to ask. I fucking love it because we got Pacey and Joey working on a science project together.

We got Dawson asking out Mary Beth because Jen goes out with, um, the dude that plays Elliot's cliff that play, he plays Elliot's boyfriend and scrubs later on, um, and then they end up on a fucking double date to the carnival. Yikes all the way around. Um, but those are, those are the two really main pieces of the storyline. And then we get some of his parents drama with... Yeah, well, there's just two scenes. There's the first phone call and then the second one where like halfway through he comes in and he's like, Dawson, I'm trying to fucking talk to you here.

I don't care if I have any mails or I don't care if I have any voicemails. Who the fuck's calling the house Did I so I put he needs to he's got a figure his shit out He's either got a he's either got a cup bait or he's got a fucking dude. I'll be stop being a pansy Took the words right out of my mouth. So that's why that's so Dawson getting stuck in the middle of his mom and dad's divorce and his dad putting him squarely in the middle of it, wrong. All the way around. Not a big deal.

I understand. He doesn't really put him in the middle of it. As I mean, if, if, even if his dad doesn't ask him that Dawson should be like, Hey dad, Bob called. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I mean, Dawson should, you know, bros, right? Like Dawson should be a bro to his dad.

Bros before hoes, even if that hoes your mom. Yeah, exactly, dude. Like if your mom, now if his dad was the one that stepped out, then he's gotta be bros with his mom. Well, yeah, exactly, yeah. Bros is a gender neutral term. Yes, he is hoes. Exactly, like if your dad's being a hoe,

you gotta bro up with your mom and protect her. Exactly. So if your mom's being a hoe, then you gotta bro up with your dad to protect her. If your mom's being a hoe, then you got to bro up with your dad to protect him. So like, you know, that's, you get it. Yeah, come on. It's the bro versus hoe hypothesis. It's plaguing our country for years. What's the Parks and Rec thing where she, Amy Poehler goes on like over it, where she like lists a whole bunch of like these things. One of them was ovaries but for brovaries. What about in the office when it's, but my hoe ain't my hoe no mo. He's just flying that song over and over again. But, but he got it.

I did just the preview. It's the 32nd preview. It's the preview of the iTunes. Um, all right. So, but, but Jen and Dawson kick off this episode, Brandon, with the question of questions that happens throughout all relationships, can you be friends with your ex? What is your answer to that question?

I'll go next because that was that very first thing. This episode kicks off. It is the table's oldest time. There's a lot of different opinions. What do you think? Do you think you can be friends with your ex? It's definitely possible. It's not easy though.

It's fucking hard. It's not easy though. It's fucking hard. I am a firm no. Like my opinion on this is unwavering and unchanging. But you've had like the worst relationships in the world. Well, yeah. And if not, to be fair, yes. It's not necessarily people. Like the good ones that you would want to be friends with,

I fucked it up too bad that they don't want to be friends with, I fucked it up too bad that they don't want to be friends with me. And then the ones that I just wouldn't want to be friends with, but thank you. She can probably hear this, so it's fine. But Kelly always gets so mad. Cause she's like, what if we break up? I was like, I'll never talk to you again.

She's like, well, why would you? And I'm like, That's what I do. Like when you break up, you're an ex. You are an ex part of my life. That's it. That's how my brain processes. And I know myself well enough that like, there's no way I can just like be a normal person.

Right? It's definitely, it's not a one size fits all. It's definitely a case by case basis. And it is possible is what I'm saying. It's not ideal. It's not ideal and it's not easy, but it's possible. You got kids. You got to figure it out for the kids, right?

Like that's important. You like always figured out for the kids, but if you don't have kids and you don't have to like operate within the same friend groups or anything like that. Like that's why you don't like stay away from your close friend groups. And then you can just cut, right? You just cut, run, you move on with your life. Cause where it gets complex is like you're in the same friend groups.

You have to spuck and see each other all the time. And like that sucks dude. Those I will say again, it's possible, but with those, you need a cool down time. You can't go, you can't go immediately to friends. You need like a, like a mental health, like, you know, like six to eight month cool time. Break time where you're not just to get over. Yeah. Yeah. On both sides, because like both sides, like, right. Because as soon as each, each other person sees them with someone else, you're going to instantly like human nature, right? You're going to be definitely should not be going on double dates a week after.

Well, that's high school is a little different. I guess. I've made that same exact mistake. Yeah. The doubt that like, that's what I like. When I was watching, I was like, shit, I yeah, fuck. The doubt that like, that's what I like when I was watching it. I was like, shoot. I yeah. Fuck. That's fuck dude.

The gall and like the lack of self-awareness of cliff to ask Dawson for, for dating advice. When that was the next episode. I guess. So here's my answer to a question that you, I don't think you're going to ask is in the original DVD release, episodes 10 and 11 were switched. Interesting. I guess they- All I can find though is that the DVD was switched.

I think the original air date is still double date first and then the scare. Yeah. The original air date is Tuesday, April 28th for double date and then Tuesday, May 5th for the scare. Yeah, the original air date is Tuesday, April 28 for double date. And then Tuesday, May 5 for the scare. Yeah. But on the original DVD release, they were flipped, which makes sense because in the scare, he talks about a first date with, with Michelle and Graham's, we had Graham grams fawning over him. So it would make sense that they were flipped that the scare comes first. But I don't know.

Um, but, but anyways, yeah, the, the, we can start. Okay. So, so I am a firm. No, you can't be friends with your ex. You are a sometimes. Base base by base case by case basis. Yeah, but it's very hard. It's like, I was trying to think of a good analogy

and I couldn't think of one on the spot here. So just keep going. Okay, okay. So I've got like two main talking points for season, for episode 10, then we can kind of go where we want to, but we started, we'll just go into what we already started, the double date, because we've got Dawson asking out Marybeth.

And at first I felt terrible for Marybeth, but then I realized Marybeth was, and Dawson were both using each other for the same thing. Dawson was using Marybeth to spy on Jen,. Dawson was using Mary Beth to spy on Jen. Mary Beth was using Dawson to spy on Cliff. Well, no. Not spy, but I know Mary Beth had feelings for Cliff. She did, but she had no idea they were gonna be there.

He didn't tell her it was a fucking double date. Oh, I, well, like in the, okay, so I mistook that, but I was so mad at Dawson. I was like, hey, this nice girl just very clearly told you, like, hey, you're not over Jen. Maybe we shouldn't date. It's not the right time. You convince her that it's okay.

It is the right time. And then you go on a fucking double date with Jen. Surprise now, double date. He doesn't tell her it's a double date because she walks up. Dawson, what the fuck, man? They walk up, they meet at the carnival and then Jen walks up and Dawson's like, oh, hey, how's it going? This is Mary Beth. And then Mary Beth is like,

that wasn't a coincidence, was it Dawson? Yeah, that's right. That's right. And then she only, later on when she starts talking about her feelings for Cliff, it's only after she's already realized that Dawson is still madly in love with Jen. So it's like, you know. Okay. Can we talk about that poor girl's moment of realization? When he wins the thing and just stares at her and doesn't give her the fucking stuffed animal. Oh, and Mary Beth calls him out. She's like like, a classic pissing contest, right?

And like, yeah, he wins the stuffed animal, has, who are we gonna give it to, for your sweet lady, hesitates, like. No, he doesn't hesitate, he freezes. And then, and then what does he say? We need to talk. Yeah. What in front of Cliff and Jen? Dude, Dawson did Mary Beth so dirty in this episode.

It is not even funny. Like he was the absolute worst. That would have been the worst day of my life. Right? Like this is, this is where it's like, oh oh I'm a nice guy. It's like no, there was nothing fucking nice about what you just did you asshole. Like we have the social I'm a nice guy. Like we have you're not nice. Go fuck yourself dude. We have the whole conversation with him and Joe before he goes where Joe's like you're just using her and she's like yeah I know.

where Joe's like, you're just using her. And she's like, yeah, I know. Just cause you know, doesn't make it any fucking better, bro. Dude. And we'll get to it at the episode. Just like, there's to be no surprise that Dawson handles the Joey, Jen love triangle in the worst humanly way possible.

So we have the whole conversation with Joe where she's like, Hey Dawson, you're being a fucking asshole. Like she's like, I'll let it go this one time, but you know, don't make a habit of this. And then I forgot we have the whole thing when he's asking Mary Beth out at lunch and she's like, are you sure? Cause I know you just got dumped. She calls him out. And he's like. And he lies.

He's like, he's like, oh yeah, I'm honest. Honest to God, I'm over her. The worst. As soon as he said, I forget exactly what his quote was, but he was like, I'm definitely over her. I'm definitely 100% ready for the, to go dating. That should have been the red flag where if I'm married, Beth, I'm like, okay, you're a little too,

a little too emphatic about that. But- A little too gung-ho, my brother. I feel like you're a little too, a little too emphatic about that. But a little too gung ho my brother. I feel like you're, you're trying to compensate for something right there. That's what she said. Well, she did. She didn't say that. She should have. Can imagine what it'd be like if she did. Yeah. What's that? Billy Madison. No, no, no, they didn't.

But you can imagine what it'd be like if they did. Yeah. Well, that's it. Chris Barley is talking about his buddy that hooked up with Veronica. Is it a fucking Matthew McConaughey? Is it fast times? Or is it be a lot cooler if you did? Well, it's not fast times at Ridgemont High.

It's dazed and Confused. That's right, my bad, my bad. You were in there. Listen, as someone who constantly has to throw out ballpark names and things, you're in safe company. Got the right actor, similar high school age. He's in Fast Times, right? Is he in Fast Times?

No, no, no. You're thinking of Spicoli is Sean Penn. Yeah. And that's Sean Penn. And he's, but he is, when he's like, Hey man, you got a joint? Be a lot cooler if you did. Yeah.

Or, you know, he has the, the, the, the line that goes down in infamy now. It's like, that's what I love about those high school girls. I get older and they stay the same age or, or my favorite line of his in that movie was like, Hey man, I'm just out here living. L I V I N. Did you ever watch a grind? No.

Oh, it's such a good fucking movie. It's a, with Adam Brody, but it's about a grind no, it's such a good fucking movie it's uh with Adam Brody But it's about a bunch of you know Stoner skater guys, but there's a dude There's a character in that movie called sweet Lou and he's he's modeled after That he has he says like a couple of those exact lines Yeah, he has a he had a long where he's talking about high school girls and he's like, I keep getting older and they just stay the same or some shit like that.

It's pretty much an exact quote. Weirdly. I already had that quote in my head. Cause when you were talking about how old you were, I was like, I was like, wait, how old is Kelly? And you were saying it's like, wait, no, yeah, she, she gets older as you get older, buddy. So that makes sense.

So it's like, no, no, yeah, she, she gets older as you get older, buddy. So that makes sense. So it's like, no, no, no, Kelly's like 29. It's like, no, no, you're, you're you've gotten old. So she's also gotten older. Crazy how that works. So yeah, yeah, it's, it's, she's a, she's about to age out, right? Oh, she's, she aged out of DiCaprio a long time ago. Well, no, I meant for you.

She's an age out for you. Oh, for, stop. It's terrible, dude. Don't say that out loud. Don't mean, anyways, all right. So this double date, it's a fiasco. The pissing contest was my favorite. And then Dawson being the worst and being like,

we need to talk. Hey, so it turns out, even though you told me I wasn't over Jen, I'm actually not over Jen, but that's when Mary Beth being the nice girl that she is, she's like, well, good news is, is that I actually have a thing for Cliff. So worked out, you know, I can get some. And then they swap places on the Ferris wheel

and Jen and Dawson end up fighting on the Ferris wheel and Cliff and Mary Beth, it's just you know, uncomfortable. Have you ever fought on a Ferris wheel? That seems like a nightmare You know, I'm not big on heights and so you might not necessarily catch me on a Ferris wheel and you know I can tell you this if I am gonna be in a Ferris wheel, I'm not going to have one flimsy little piece of metal, um, keeping me in that fucking thing. I'm going to need a little bit better strap. And also can't watch rescue nine one one as it, do you remember that show as a kid and like, Oh my God, were they dramatized?

Like the nine one one calls. Um, and, and like the Ferris wheel ones where like the kid fell out, was dangling from the Ferris wheel. You forget about that. You know, Oh dude, I watched a lot of unsolved mysteries as a kid too. Oh yeah. I do that. I'll dayline too.

I'll dayline. Yeah. So, so yeah, the worst double date ever. But then on the other side of things, do we have young love blossoming Brandon? This Casey and Joey. The ending leaves a lot to be desired. Yeah, I agree. But we have to talk about the snails. I was just gonna say, dude, what do you think about the menage a trois? The, the snail threesome that backfired, but that is the most,

like I thought that was the funniest teenage boy thought process in the history. I was like, hey, so dudes having a hard time getting it up, not a big deal. So I'm thinking, hey, maybe you just need to have a little more fun. The more the merrier. Let's grab another snail and then what happens Brandon, that snail is carnivorous and it ate the other two. Yeah. I didn't realize, you know, I didn't realize there was cannibalistic snails out there just lurking around. Is it cannibalistic? If it's, if it's different species of snails, I just see it as snail on snail crime, you know what I mean?

Well, yeah, I guess. But like if a wolf ate a dog, would that be cannibalism or a coyote? Is it a coyote eating a dog cannibalism? Yeah, cause that happens a lot. Yeah. Just questions to think about guys. So they have this project together. The snails get eaten.

Then they have to go trolling for snails actually look kind of fun. They've got the little little robo. They go into the reeds. They're out there just doing some snail hunting. But what happens Brandon Pacey and the most Pacey move ever forgets to tie up the boat and it is floating downstream on its own. What? Classic Pacey dude. That is the, that is a 15 year old boy mistake if I've ever seen one, right?

I keep forgetting these kids are 15. Well, I think they're closer to 16 now. I mean, yeah, well, Pacey's 16, I guess, because he's driving the car. But Joey, when she's talking with her dad, she says it again, I'm 15. That's true. Yeah, just a 15 year old. Whatever. Just a little baby. This is his head. Do you remember? I'm just a baby.

It's from broad city. Did you ever watch broad city? Yes. I know that. I love that fucking show. Well, when they like, I think they were cleaning his house, right? It's the partner. And they're like, okay, you need to pay up. I'm just a little baby. Just a baby. There's a little girl that does it, that got turned into a meme too, where she's like, I'm just a baby.

When her mom's trying to make her do something. It's pretty funny. But yeah, both very good. So yeah, so they're working on the science project. They get stuck there. They have to fully clothed, walk back through the creek, to shore so they can find a boat and they can get it going. And then, you know, they just walk back to the truck or the truck, the truck. Yeah. They walk back to the truck and then tail is old as time.

Brandon, do you think this move actually works? Like, Hey, don't want you to get hypothermia. Better get those wet clothes. It's, it's, how many, well, it should work. Hypothermia is, is no joke for sure. But there's a lot of, you know, there's a lot of films that have started in a similar fashion yeah let me get you out of those wet clothes well yeah you got to get out of the clothes yeah but anyways so art imitates life he's but Joey is changing and Pacey sneaks a peek in the rear view mirror, Brandon.

Yeah. Yeah. It's realizes, Hey, this, this Joey might be more than a friend. Yeah. And so Pacey is like, Hey, my favorite is when Pacey pulls. Dawson is like, all right, Dawson, I'm, I'm going to ask your permission because I think I got the hots for Joey and Dawson's like, why do you need to ask my permission?

So he's like, he's like, yeah, you're total, you're totally fine. And then basically he turns to walk away and he's like, wait, no, fuck you. I got a problem with this. Yeah. So my favorite, he says this is my favorite line. He's like, I'm talking about the long tortured subtext between you two.

I don't want to step on any toes. The long tortured subtext. What a way to describe the Joey and Dawson relationships. Very well done. Honestly, props to Pacey for being a bro. Right? He like fully passed the bro code. I would not have asked permission.

Like fellow bro. I know that you don't know you like this girl yet. So just in case that revelation comes, let me bring this to you. That's the old. That is proactive bromanship. Yeah, that's that's pro bromanship. Yeah. That's, that's pro bro now. Dude, the pro bro now. That's good shit. That's good shit. I love you like there. As soon as I said it, I was like, I don't know if that landed.

No, that's, I mean, it landed like, like every Barney joke in how I met your mother. So, but you want to talk about a series that did not age well with the times. How I Met Your Mother might be one of the most poorly aged sitcoms. And have you ever gone back to watch it? It's like, you know, like Barney is like, or he's not, he takes like being a creep

to a whole different creep level. And then they try to pass it off as cool. It's pretty rough. Oh Ted is- Ted's a creep too and Robin's the fucking worst. Yeah, well Ted is just a typical hyper manipulative nice guy. I think I'm the nice guy, but I'm actually the bad guy.

And then I am the nice guy, but I'm actually the bad guy. And then I, I am the guy that gives the girls, the complex over the nice guys because I think I'm nice, but I'm actually a manipulative piece of shit. You know what he is. He's a, he's a Dawson. It's a great point, Brandon. Like Dawson grows up to be Ted Mosby. Yeah. It's just, it's like he has to, instead of a director, he becomes an architect. Yeah. No, same manipulation, same thing.

But anyways, so Joey and Dawson, wait, no, sorry. Joey and Pacey, Pacey goes in for the kiss. He just comes in hot. He was like, Hey, I'm going on full vibes. There was a gentle spark that was sparking here. He just comes in hot. He was like, hey, I'm going on full vibes. There was a gentle spark that was sparking here. So let me just lean into this moment. And he goes in for the kiss and Joey's like,

oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, let's, let's slow down here, P.C. I have just gone from hating you to gently disliking you. There is not a feeling bone in my body. And then he calls her out. He was like, is it because of the kiss or is it just the person or no, wait, no. He said, would you be thinking about someone else on the end of that kiss? He said it's something like that.

Oh yeah. That's right. You know, God, that Pacey, he loves needling Dawson and Joey to be like, all right, let's- Well, dude, dude, if I was in his position, I would do the same thing. I would be-

How could you not? I would be making such like backhanded comments every fucking chance I got, just to be like, let's fucking, you know. Let's shit or get off the pot. Let's fucking make a move here guys. Either way, either way. Yeah.

One way or the other, anyone, just anyone say something somewhere along the lines and then we'll figure it out from there, but like having sleepovers with your girl best friend. That's a girl. Yikes, bro. It's, it's like, it's like it's it's like uh when uh and not picking up i won't like jesus christ i won't use any names but it's like uh going back to our zilla days it was going back when um a very good friend of mine there was a

lady who also worked in our department that was madly in love with him and the entire time i was just like somebody needs to address the situation. Can we talk about it, please? Can we talk about it? Before it blows up uncomfortably when someone overindulges. Exactly. I just realized that-

Which may or may not have happened. Well, I just realized that situation they subscribed could be- It's like six different people. it could apply to at least seven different scenarios. Yeah, like it's that was, that was a wild west when we were there. Oh, dude, that was, that was worse than like restaurants, the, like the, the incestuation. God, don't phrase it like that.

Well, it's, you phrase it in the worst way possible. But anyway, it was just as bad, if not worse than like working in a restaurant. It was it was unbelievable. Well, it's because they just fucking the fucking people in charge. God bless their hearts. Just hired the hottest mid 20 year mid 20s people they could find in the Denver area.

And we're like, nothing could go wrong here. Throw them all in an office and see, see what shakes out. But anyways, it's, um, yeah. So that's sorry. Dawson's reaction to Pacey telling him that he was gonna give it a go with Joe was the most, it was like, no, it's chill. And then he's like, wait, no, it's not cool. And Pacey's like,

so which one is it gonna be, guy? Like, you, anyways, it was just Dawson being Dawson. Anyways, it was just Dawson being Dawson. And then the episode ends with Dawson's parents hugging it out and like, hey, we're gonna let Bob keep on calling. The fact that she took the phone call with her husband in the house and it was Bob, she's like, oh, he's talking about that, I don't know.

He answered and then gave it to her. What are you going to do? That's right. Like hang up. And then it's night. I don't think they have caller ID. Oh, do they not have, they need it. It's 1998.

Well, as soon as they get that out, his dad needs to get that color ID rocking. Insanely. Anyway, so that's, that's, that's, that's wraps up episode 10. And then we move into the Friday, the 13th episode, the scare. Do you want to, do you want to take a, a guess at the, the original movie themed name Friday the 13th nailed it, dude. Fucking nailed it. Genius. I am, I am genius.

So Dawson, what are your thoughts on Dawson's practical jokes? Because I thought the fake finger and the french fries, it was yikes. It was, yeah, it was, you know, it's, it's a, he's 15, you know, what do you, what do you expect? As soon as the creepy dude came up to the car though, with Joey, when they were, and knew that was the lady killer instantly. Um, and do you want, do you want some fun? Do you want some fun facts? Yeah, before that, I had to say Joey,

talking about like, she likes scary movies loaded with Cheez Whiz. Do you remember Cheez Whiz? Yeah. When she said it? It's not still a thing, it's very much a thing. Well, I mean, people know it's like poison, right? I mean, when I was a kid, it was youthful, innocent.

So I was like, wait, hold on. They got fucking cans of cheese. This is, this is cool. Like cheese whiz was like a delicacy in my brain. Like throw some, like I would make like the best cheese whiz cracker and then put a little slice of summer sausage on, on top of it. Ooh.

Yeah, a little cheese went, dude. I was into charcuterie boards long before, you know, Pinterest took them over. It was just cheese wins. It reminds me of the movie for Christmases where they put the cheese was on the crackers. And she's like, I've got some odor of race. Like, who are you trying to impress? Yeah, dude, I've been crushing, crushing Lunchables since the day I was born. I

know way too much about circuitry boards. Yeah. But the fun fact, he yeah. The movie they're watching at the top of the episode. Did you recognize that movie? Huh? It's I know what you did last summer. Sorry. That's right. That's right. Yeah, the star and our girl SMG Yeah Written by the same writer we talked about this in the in the first episode Yeah, Kevin Williamson wrote I know he did last summer. He also Wrote the screenplay or co-wrote the screenplay for, uh, Scream. Yeah. Which this, this episode is like references

like all of the horror movies that he's, he's been a part of. Yeah. I loved it. Did you know, fun fact, the scene where Jennifer Love Hewitt is circling and like yelling, you know, like that really famous scene where she's like circling, yelling. Did you know it, a little kid won a contest to like direct a scene and that was the scene he directed. They ended up using it. I think they were like, Oh shit, this is actually pretty iconic. Like it was, they didn't think they were going to do it, but he won like a contest. He's like, all right, I got this spin and scream. It's gonna be dope.

And then all of a sudden it's like, Oh shit, the old spinning screen. Yeah. Got to say, but Dawson's jokes were hilarious, but what was funnier was that Jen broke up with him and then was offended when she was like, wait, you're not pranking me? Well, they both broke up. They both do that thing where they've broken up. Like I think it's at the beginning of the double date where Dawson is talking to Joey

and he's like, why hasn't she talked to me? Why hasn't she reached out? You guys fucking broke up. Yeah. Like what do you, she, she owes you. And he's like, that's the other thing is like, dude, you broke up. They, they owe you nothing at that point. And as soon as you come, it's like, it's like your employer.

It's very similar, right? Like once you get laid off, like they owe you nothing. You owe them nothing. It's the same thing in a relationship. Once you're broken up, as soon as you can come to the grips and realization that like that person owes you no apology for being the worst, if they happen to be the worst and you'll, you know, you'll live much easier afterwards, you know? Yeah. Like, like she owes him no justification or explanation.

And then he gets all pissy about her getting asked out by clip. It's like, dude, she broke up with you. Yeah. And Cliff asked her, she didn't ask him, you know, she's, she's not running around saying, Hey everybody, come ask me out. Like she did. She did. I don't know.

Dawson just bugs the shit out of me. I guess he's the worst. He, yeah, but she did. She went from being like, Hey, I don't think I can do this. I need to be I need to figure out life on my own to dating Cliff or going on a couple dates with Cliff real quick. She did not give herself enough time to figure out life on her own. That's for sure. You don't know and teenage years that was a lifetime.

Sure. You don't know. In teenage years, that was a lifetime. Oh, did teenage years go slower or faster? Well, cause like everything happens at the speed of light, I feel like. It's like, Hey, we broke up four days ago. How are you still hung up on this? Big question.

So that's my thought. But anyways, yeah, it just Jen and Dawson in this whole episode, a bug that I don't know this episode was insane because how did they get to the bar again? Like how did they get to the bar where they met Ursula? No, they met her at a convenience store. The gas station. Yeah, that's the gas station where the lady killer was. Yeah, I'm so sorry. I forgot. But the fact that Pacey.

Where do they keep finding these old ass fucking women like this? Is this girl Dawson's girl at the at the Providence bar? Yeah, but the fact that Pacey picks up crazy girl, then like great. Joey has some amazing quotes to Pacey in this episode. Let me hit you with them real quick. Okay. There's one where she's stuck in like Ursula was is the girl's name, the crazy girl's name. Yeah, she's fucking bet you crazy. Her name is Ursula was, is the girl's name, the crazy girl's name. He, yeah, she's fucking batty crazy. Her name is Ursula. The, this is so many red flags, but, um, Joey's talking,

Joey's talking to Pacey about, like, I think it's like right when Ursula hops in the car with them or whatever. And Joe, he goes, uh, Pacey, your bizarre mother complex is going to get us all killed. Even though Joey was the one that about ended up in a shallow grave. We got to talk about grain on the ride though, too. Like the wood grain on the ride. They got to bring that back. We need to bring back station wagons with wood grain. Like, come on.

The Bronco is having a resurgence with Ford. Bring back wood grain panels on the rides. Let's go. I want an electric car made only of wood. God damn it Brandon. Fucking Ursula dude dude, like these, the old ass women that they find. That's some crazy shit we would have done as kids. Fight with your boyfriend, hop on it. I would have never done that.

We got your back. I would have never done that. It's small town stuff. You just trust people. That's true. It's like, no, she can't be like that. That's right. It is very small town stuff. My big city living, I would have been like, this bitch is fucking crazy. Yeah. Small town is like, hey, she can't be that bad. Like, you know, they're, they're,

they're screaming. We all scream. We all, we've all screamed before, you know, that's, that's not a big deal. Then she, she gets into, so she gets in their car. She comes back to Dawson's for the fucking seance. Oh my god. That that thing where she starts describing the knife in her purse was insane. Yeah, that was that was wild that and what their prank on Dawson was pretty good though. Like they got him and his reaction was a very perfect Dawson reaction. He's like, mine were innocent pranks. It wasn't killing Joey. Like in his defense, that was right. He was just putting like rubber snakes and shit. They up the stakes a little bit. I mean, he did set a timer

for the lights to cut out. He did. That's true. And from what we can gather, he does this on a regular yearly basis where he's throwing fucking rubber snakes. So Joey and Pacey are probably like, you know, eight years into this being like, knock it the fuck off. Like enough, like let's, let's, let's re-correct this to the point that he'll never do it again. They're all the way in, but like the, um, the, the crazy boyfriend breaking into the house and then like, and then like Joey beating the shit out of him with a pan and then Ursula being like, look

at out of here. These kids are crazy. That whole scene was ridiculous. She hits him with a frying pan five times. I thought she was going to cave his head in. Yeah, she does zero damage to it. Yeah, so maybe it's just like she, maybe she didn't go head. Maybe she was going shoulder, right?

Like maybe. From head to shoulder. The first hit and then the second hit, I was like, okay. And then she hopped on top and started swinging. And I was like, she's going to fucking kill this guy. Yeah. And then she hopped on top and started swinging and I was like she's gonna fucking kill this guy And I love that Ursula just like total like crazy toxic couple there's like hey, we're in love these kids are crazy Oh, yeah, and then earlier when she's talking to Dawson and she's like, you're totally in love with the brunette

She starts talking. She starts asking about what's his I friend I don't know fit the guy's name, but the abusive guy. And she's like, yeah, he's abusive, but, and he can be a monster, but he's my monster or some shit like that. That's a, oh my gosh, the Stockholm syndrome of abusive relationships is fucking terrifying. Dude, the psychological damage of it. The gaslighting? That dude these probably a grade a gas lighter

Oh, yeah, cuz like especially the shittier of a person like the more degenerate of a person you are the better gas lighter You are easy And then she comes with the territory and then she's gas lighting too. And she's like, these kids are fucking crazy. Oh my God. And then it all ends again with the fucking sleep over, dude. Like Joey and Dawson and their, dude, like I get that Dawson's parents are going through some stuff. Like they're, but like, dude, small town America,

ladder going into the boys' room, 15 years old, like somewhat, like that's, that's tough. That's, you know, someone's getting pregnant for sure by 16, unless, I guess, unless you're just a complete nerd, like Dawson, and you're just, you know, but like, dude, someone's getting pregnant. You're having sleepovers every day with the opposite sex, 15, 16 years old. Your hormones are running so uncontrollable.

Like you haven't figured out how to control yourself at that point, right? Like, I don't know. It's just like the whole slumber party at 15, like that is a one and like, and, and like everyone just know it. Like if it, if, if, if it was like a basement window that she was sneaking into, but like, they just have a permanent ladder on the side of their house for her to come up. And like that like breaks my brain that like, they just keep having slumber parties. Yeah. It's,

it's teenagers in high school. That's it's crazy. Yeah, anyways, and that's how they yeah, this episode went so far off the rails. I was like, where are they going? Like it was just like they're like, all right, hold on. Hold on. We have I know it's May 5th. I know it's May 5th, but you know what we need? We need a Halloween episode real quick.

A little nod to Friday the 13th. Friday the 13th, dude. We haven't even talked about Graham's and her hots for Elliot, or Cliff. Cliff Elliot is his name. Oh, I forgot, yeah. She has a completely different, like her talks with her about Dawson at 180 from with Cliff.

She's essentially being like, you should fuck Cliff is what you need to do. Listen, if you're going to get teenage pregnancy, hit up Cliff. Yeah. Fuck the dude who goes to church. Yeah. At least the baby will be Christian when it lives out of sin and it won't be a, an extra in a wannabe Spielberg movie. Is that the life you want for your baby? But anyways, I, it just Ursula, them picking up Ursula and like as the sleepover is going, that's when the news comes on and says, oh, they caught the lady killer at such and such place.

And they're like, oh, shit, that was the guy at the gas station. There's no way they just laugh that off. Like that is like they have a conversation that he has with Joe is chilling. Yo, oh, it someone did either too much research or is too comfortable and familiar with the characteristics of a psychotic serial killer. Cause they wrote a bunch of, wrote a bunch of screen, a bunch of horror movies.

So he's, yeah, he knows what's going on. Yeah. Okay. Cause cause like you said, that was a perfect, like as soon as he walked up, it's like, oh, that was him. That's him. And the way he looked to like, yeah, he had a very Ted Bundy look though, with the glasses and the bomber jacket and the sweater.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah, that was fucking chilling. Oh my God. No. Do you want another fun fact? Yeah. Hold on.

Have you seen the meme where it's, um, the, I'm sure it's made up, but it makes me laugh every time. It's like, yeah, my dad used to work with Ted Bundy and every day he'd start the week going happy Monday, Bundy or Monday, Bundy, or like, you know, something like that. It's like, and how he survived. I have no idea. That's probably what drove him to it. It's like, I gotta, I gotta start murdering somebody because this guy is

bugging the shit out of me. I just, I just can't help but think of like, you know, that's me. That's me. And someone's just secretly plotting my demise. I mean, there's a comedian and I don't know his name. I'm sorry. I feel like I should clarify. I'm not Ted Bundy. I'm the guy that would say, how do you Monday Bundy and would get murdered. But there's a comedian that I saw, I saw this clip on TikTok.

Well, this bit he does about the guy at his work that does finger guns. And he's like, I do the finger guns back, but I do it very slow and deliberate. Well, more unsettling, dude. I love that. I mean, if, if you're not, if you leave your finger guns holstered within a corporate office and you're just doing it wrong, right? Like you should have, you should have those, those guns unbuckled and be ready for use at all time.

You never know when you're going to have to draw just great meeting gang. I'll have to, I'll have to find that clip and send it to you because his delivery is so good. It's just like, it's very slow. My fun fact though, do you want my fun fact? Oh yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. So we established Kevin Williamson, the guy who the writer for Dawson's Creek wrote a crap ton of horror movies, including a few of the films in the Scream franchise. So in the 2022 film Scream, this episode from Dawson's Creek. So the Scream, it's again, it's the Mighty Ducks thing where Scream is referencing Dawson's Creek and the Dawson Creek references scream.

It's that, uh, what were you talking about? The Tony Soprano thing last time with the Gilmore girls. Yeah. Tony Soprano with the Gilmore girls. We have the, Hey, it's, it's screaming. Dawson's Creek, Dawson's Creek and scream. Uh, the other fun facts though, not only is that in the background of Scream 4, I think I mentioned it before, but Joshua Jackson plays a character in Scream 2.

And then the guy who plays Cliff, what's his fucking name? Scott. Scott Foley, the guy who plays Cliff plays Roman Bridger in scream three. Oh, nice. Let me let me scream callbacks here. Yep. Oh, and then additionally scream for and from 2022. Also filmed in Wilmington, North Carolina. Nice. Small world, then small world.

Oh, and then, uh, when they change, when Joey changes, grabs the remote and changes the channel away from, I know what you did last summer. Did you see what movie pops up? I know. Uh, what is it? Cause I show me the money. I don't remember. I remember that.

I remember them. I was like, oh shit, I think that's a, I know what you did last summer when they were watching. The movie isn't show me the money. That was, I was quoting the movie. It's Jerry McGuire. Oh, I didn't hear him say show me the money. I think I missed that.

He doesn't, I said that. I missed, I don't know. I think I missed your thought process there, Brady. I probably, I just said it when I should have shouted it. That's probably my bad. You know, I didn't, I didn't reenact it. I just said it, you know, that's my fault. Yeah. So I didn't pick up on it.

I thought you were saying like a title. I thought you were saying like a title. Isn't that a movie? Show me the money. Probably. I don't know. One for the money. But that's what he, that's what he screams into the phone and Jerry McGuire,

show me the money. I's what he, that's what he screams into the phone and Jerry McGuire. Show me the money. I know. I, I, uh, the human, the human head weighs eight pounds. The little kid in the car. Yeah. So good. But, uh, do you know why that's a fun fact? Why Jerry McGuire? Kitty Holmes is future husband.

Oh yeah. That's right. That's right. Yeah. Jim. Yeah. Tom Cruise. was his future husband, his future ex-husband. Oh yeah, that's right, that's right, yeah, Jerry McGuire.

Yeah, Tom Cruise. And I gotta say, my biggest takeaway from this season was how much Katie Holmes killed the character of Joey. Like, she crushed it. So to skip ahead to the beauty pageant one next, there's- Okay, let's go, well, that's not skipping ahead, that's where we're going. Let's jump on in.

I'm gonna skip ahead towards a scene at the end when they're announcing the winner. And it's scanning all of the contestants and everybody's looking ahead and fucking smiling. And then it gets to Joey and she's fucking side eyeing the girl next to her. It was so good. So good.

Her facial expressions are amazing. Her, her Les Mis. Wow. That was, that was rough. That was not great, but I fucking, you know how I feel about musicals. I hate Les Mis in general. Yeah. Yeah. I can't, what's, oh my God, what is the song that she sings? On my own.

Oh yeah. On my God. What is the song that she sings? Uh, on my own. Oh yeah. On my own. Garbage. Garbage all around. It's not, it's not in Les Mis, but whenever, whenever I hear Les Mis, I always think of the Barbara Streisand movie where she plays the little Jewish boy and says, Papa Papa can you hear me Papa can you hear me all the I don't know why dude I always whenever I hear I thought you were I thought you were gonna talk about beaches but you know what I'm talking about where she plays

a little Jewish boy and she is like Papa can you hear me, can you hear me? Papa, can you hear me? And it's not in Les Mis, but for the love of P I always, my brain just permanently associates that little Barbara action with, with Les Mis. I don't know. I don't know why I thought Barbara Sharzan was in beaches. She's not. That was the breathing bet Midler. I was, I was definitely thinking Bette Midler.

That'll happen. Tomato tomato. Tomato tomato. All right, so let's go into the beauty contest. I told you offline, I think I just watched maybe too many in a row. Cause I just- This was a bit of a lull.

Do you wanna guess the original title? It's... Sleeping Beauty. No, no, Sleeping Beauty. It's the dumbest guess ever. What is it? Pretty Woman. Oh, that makes sense.

Pretty woman, walking down the street, pretty woman. I watched that movie at a young age where I didn't understand what was happening in the movie. And then I was like, Oh, she was a prostitute. Like you know, like when I got older, did not pick up on that as a kiddo when I watched it. I had that exact same reaction. I watched that when I was really young.

I probably watched it like three or four times before I hit like, before I hit like middle school. Yeah. Just a nice guy helping out a lady having a hard time on the street, man. And then that first watch after puberty, I was like, oh shit. Like, oh, he paid, he paid for her services. And that's why it's so wild that she's, you know, the belle of the ball. Yeah.

Belle of the ball. And I, I just, every time I think of beauty contests, I think of two movies, right? Drop Dead Gorgeous, which is amazing. I still quote it, right? It's like- Great band too. Where she's definitely the most smartest. He's like, oh yeah, great, we're at a most smartest.

You're real educated. There's some really good shit. Like there's some, there's some like, dropped it. Gorgeous is fucking fantastic. There is some next level one liners. And if you're into that type of humor, it's, it's worth a watch. Like it is, it's like, um, it's like best to show, right?

Like that movie it's, it's, it's a mockumentary style, uh, TV. It's, it's terrible. It's a terrible movie, but like my God, if you love beauty pageants, if you have ever been to Minnesota, like it is amazingly funny. Yeah. And it was, and then, and then of course, Miss, miss congeniality. What's when, uh, when she's like, March 3rd is my favorite day. Cause it's not too hot and it's not too cold, but it's just right for a warm jacket. Yeah. Yeah. You, well, you, you butchered the delivery, but yes, cause she doesn't, William Shatner was asking the questions and he goes, what's your favorite, describe your favorite date. Yeah.

She goes March 13th, cause it's not too warm and it's not too cold. It's perfect for a light jacket. Yeah. Oh, that's really good stuff. I feel like we've talked about this before. I'm not a big Sandra Bullock girl, Sandra Bullock fan. Yeah, I mean, I just saw a conspiracy theory that Sandra Bullock has or the center book fan. Yeah. I mean, I just saw a, um, conspiracy theory that, uh, Sandra Bullock has an

Adam sample and we just haven't been paying attention. It's you and your conspiracy theories. I told you, the crazier, the better. It's so fun. I don't care for Sandra Bullock, but I will not entertain that conspiracy. Yeah. But like in a fact that it's out there, it's really good stuff. It's really good stuff.

You know what? Remember the whole Sierra thing? It was when I was in middle school, you were probably a junior or senior in high school when everybody thought Sierra had an anus apple. Oh, I don't remember that. That was like a whole thing. I think she went on a talk show

to like disprove it or something. I wanna say it was Oprah. I I think she went on a talk show to like disprove it or something. I want to say it was Oprah. I feel like she went on Oprah. The other Sandra Bullock movie that I randomly like is the one Heat, where she's a cop with Melissa McCarthy. That one is pretty good. She has some of those like terrible movies, but like when they're on TBS, when they're

on TBS, they're, they're, they're super watchable. Like the proposal with her and Ryan. I hate that. Not Ryan Phillips. Ryan Reynolds. I don't care for Ryan Reynolds at all either. She did go on Oprah. I fucking knew it.

She went on Oprah and it'd be like, right. No Adam's apple. No. That was wild. I remember chatting about that on the school bus, man. went on Oprah and be like, all right, no Adam's apple. No. That was wild. I remember chatting about that on the school bus, man. Being like, are you guys paying attention to this? What a wild, what a wild world.

What a wild. So beauty contest and this is, oh my God. So like this hits a low, but like it, it, it tees, this whole episode tees up 13, right? Because Jen convinces Joey to enter the beauty contest to win money for college. Miss wind jammer. Yeah. And, and Pacey way ahead of his time also needs a little bit of

cash for his own apartment. Jews. He found a place in like a shack for two, $250 a month. And so he's, he's trying to get 5k for his apartment. And so Pacey finds a loophole in the rules to enter himself into the, what is it? The miss miss windjammer, miss windjammer. Um, yeah. You're missing the most ridiculous part of that story is him and his dad, his fucking dad who hates him.

Essentially his dad hands him the emancipation papers and his like, let me know when you want me to sign them. Yeah. Like feel free whenever you're ready. Get the fuck out. I'm unbelievable. Dude. I, I mean, we should all feel terrible. We also find out he has a sister in this.

Yeah. I mentioned his sister. That's weird. We should all feel terrible for Pacey. He literally walked down on, like he made a mistake in a game as a little kid and he walked down on his dad being like, God, while you're skipping ahead here, that kid fucking sucks. Sorry. Yeah. But, um, but anyway, the fucking dad, um,

so he joins this so that he can get emancipated from his father and his brother so that he can get emancipated from his father and his brother who he will. And he is endlessly ripping for being in the closet. Like just come out of the closet, dude. No one cares. It's the nineties. Oh my God. Just being the worst little brother ever. Um, and, and Dawson is covering the competition with help from his mom.

Um, and, and then while this is all shaking out, this is where Jen like Jen sees the light in Dawson's eyes as he begins to see Joey for more than just his homely neighbor girl, but as a real true beauty, which I'm so glad that she calls out. She's like, Hey, this is just fucking lipstick and makeup. Yeah. I don't want you to like me now. I want you to like the person that's been creeping and crawling into your room for the last five years.

Yeah. It is crazy how it's just took a little bit of lipstick and he was like, Oh, it was the, it was, what's the, she's all that. All you gotta do is take her glasses off, dude. Did you know what you take the glasses off and you let the hair down. It's a combo. He does not want you to get to come. Wait, the, when not another teen movie makes fun of that, like what a hunchback?

That's easy to make sexy. I need someone so homely, so terrible. And it's just like a normal looking dude. That was- She's just like an art student with glasses and a ponytail. And it's like, okay. And they're talking about like hunchbacks and stuff.

Like not another teen movie. Really. It's an amazing movie. Yeah, they did such a good job. When they spoof the whipped cream scene in Varsity Blues when Chris Evans comes out. It's so good. It's so good.

But anyways, so yeah, I mean, honestly, I knew I'd go fast with the beauty contest one because I'll be honest, it kind of, I kind of had me scrolling ever so slightly. Like at certain points of like, oh shit, hold on. You got to pay attention, buddy. Um, but yeah, there's not a whole ton. Cause it, it, it tees it, it tees up the love triangle, right? It tees up the fact that like, Jen and Joey tried to become buddies, but like while it happens, Jen starts to regret losing Dawson. Dawson starts to see Joey as

more than just Joey and Joey is starting to get confidence and bravery to tell Dawson the truth versus just, you know, sitting back passively. And that's, that's really, it does a good job with those three teeing up this next piece. And it also does a good job of establishing reestablishing Pacey as the black sheep of the town unfairly because his dad's just such a dick. Yes. Cause we get Hannah, Hannah Von Winning? Yeah. Yeah. What's, what's the, what's the guy from goofy movie to

Oh, uh, first of all, it's not a movie to it's an extremely goofy movie. Yes. I'm at Bradley uppercrust the third This is the Dawson Creek version girl version of that So Dawson Creek version girl version of that. Yeah. How long would we upper crust? The third best. That is the best cartoon. It's the fucking it's so good.

So good. We'll have to see if if Portman does the singing voice for that one too, maybe we can do an extremely goofy movie. I don't know. I don't think he does though. I'll shut off the top of my head. I don't think he does the singing voice again, but No, there's no singing.

I'm pretty sure there's singing. Oh, I guess when they're doing that. Yeah, there's a little bit, but it's not as like good or as prevalent. Yeah, it's not as central to the story. Hanavan winning though. She's a fucking bitch. Um, she comes in real hot, making fun of Pacey, but she's, uh, she's the Joey to the club that is like putting this on is like, is it a cut? It's a yacht club, right? Or like a regatta club or something like that. Yeah. You didn't hear them talk about the regatta gala afterwards? I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. Do you remember when you got stuck on that with the cruel intentions, the regatta gala? It wasn't cruel intentions. It was skulls. That's what I meant. It's not what I say. It's what I mean. Did you see them making a TV series for cruel intentions?

Yes. It's probably going to be terrible. Yeah, it looks terrible. But so the regatta gala, we got the wealthy of the wealthiest over here at Capeside. Hannah Von Winning is one of those. She goes to an all-girls prep school, I believe, right? Yeah. Because she's making fun of Pacey and then Pacey throws that at her.

So at least I'm not a fucking lesbian, you weirdo. And then they go back and forth because apparently Pacey asked her out when they were like six years old and she stood them up. Yeah, unbelievable. Fucking the wealthy dude. We need more. We need more CEO desks, man. Geez, Brandon. Let's Let's not get into it. Revolution is starting here. That's fine. I'm all for it.

Oh, you think the darkness is your ally? I was born and it molded by it. Did you watch that video? What video? The UnitedHealthcare one? Yes. It's crazy. Did you watch that video? What video? The UnitedHealthcare one? Yes. It's crazy. That dude slides up like fucking nothing.

Gun jams. Yeah, wild. Gun jams. I watched it though. Silencer and the gun jams. Anyway, Hanavan Wenning, and then they introduce us to a couple other of the contestants. We get, uh, Roberta Crump, my favorite. She's out there fucking crushing it.

Do you think she was crumping for her talent? No, she didn't. No, she played piano. They showed her. Can you crump? No, no, that's, that's above my, that's above my skill set. There's an episode of community where Troy is trying to do it. It's like, am I crumping?

Am I, am I crumping? Is this crumping? Am I crumping? Is that the, like the arm one? Yeah, it's like, I don't even know. Like it honestly, it looks like you are having like a very, um, physical emoting reaction to getting tased. Like that's what it kind of looks like. It's like, you're getting tased and you're like flail.

Like imagine a flailing inflatable arm to man getting tased. That's grumpy. Oh, here we go. I found a, this little, here we go. I found a Joey quote about the pageant here. Okay. Because yeah, because like you said, Jen convinces Joey to join, even though this is like, it goes against everything Joey believes in. Which is why there's a scene where Dawson's like, laughing at her. Because it goes against everything she

believes in. And then she just takes that to heart because she thinks she's like the ugliest woman alive, which is very weird. But you know, it has always like blown my mind. As an ugly person, when hot people don't realize that they're hot, it blows my mind. How do you not know? Oh my God, right? Yeah, I agree. It's like, hey, dude, you are not only handsome, but you still have all your hair. What are you mad about? What are you upset about? What are you? What are you upset about? What are you angry about? Oh, dude, if I, if I hot, if I, if I still had my hair and like looked as ugly as I do now, but still had hair, I would never be angry about anything.

Oh my God. What is there to be angry about? You full hair, full head of hair past 30 and you should be just every day you should wake up just like, my God, we did it. Unfortunate. We did it. And number two, you should never wear a hat. If you are wearing a hat and you are over the age of 30 with a full head of hair, like I get it.

I will. But like some exceptions, best to not wear it. Like I get like a ball game. You know, like if you need to shade your face, cause you're going to a baseball game or something, I get it, right? But you should do everything in your power to keep that lettuce out there flowing in the wind.

Like you should be setting yourself up for as many slow-mo like wind takes as possible. So I will say there are some exceptions. If you've got like that hockey, like just above the shoulder flow, those guys look good in hats. Cause you put the hat on, you tuck it behind the ear. And then every once in a while,

that's when you can pull the hat off and you do the shake, the flow shake, and then you put the hat back on. And that's it. So I allow that. That's fine. Okay. That makes sense. But see, but like, what did you, what did you put in there?

Like, so he's wearing the hat, but what are they doing? They're still taking it off to let it breathe every so often. You got to let it breathe. But if you've got, like, if you've got a full head of hair and you got like a high and tight kind of cut, don't wear a hat. Don't fucking wear a hat.

Yeah. And honestly, Let that shit breathe, man. Number one, you're wasting your full head of hair with high and tight. Like there should at least be some kind of quaff. It depends on your vibe Well, yeah, I guess like you I mean don't you don't want to look like an alpaca like kids do now We're like the top of their head just looks like an alpaca But like you still want to like, you know, I think about the worst hair. Yeah, Gen Z has like the worst haircuts. I agree

The alpaca one right like that one deserves to lose their hair. It's fucking Gen Z has like the worst haircuts. I agree. That's the alpaca one, right? Like, dude, that one makes people laugh. If anybody deserves to lose their hair, it's fucking Gen Z people. Yeah, it's like, dude, if you're gonna use your hair to look like a llama, then I don't even know. I don't even want to talk to you. Get out of here. All right, let's go. Let's get to- My quote, to go back to the quote that I found about the pageant.

We're gonna get off of the beauty pageant and get into this season finale. So the pageant, it's a blue-blooded tradition which celebrates the grand achievement of being born rich, the culmination of which is this asinine formal dinner held at the yacht club where some young new-by-all whose daddy owns the bank is crowned Miss Windjammer. It's the most archaic display of ageism, racism, and sexism known to man. I fucking love Joey. She's the best man. Yeah, dude. Joey, you wouldn't like Joey cause she's a hater through and

through like Joey. Me and Joey would be best fucking friends. Yeah. You guys, you guys might hit a spark because you would bond so deeply on your hate. Like that's what they say. Like, right? Like you don't need to find someone that loves all the same things. You're in. Yes. Like all the, like Kelly and I both hate pickles. Guess what? We remind each other regularly when we're getting burgers. Hey,

you say no pickles. That's a good call out. Good call out. Saved, saved many meals for each other with that no pickle dance, you know? So anyways, because I don't even like it on the side because then the juice like, like, you know, like if I forget to say no pickle and it's on the side, I got to take it off of there and then I got to take my napkin and I got to wipe up all the juice. If you go to like a, cause I'm assuming you get a sandwich to that point on a burger, right? Sometimes they do the burgers with just a pickle on the side.

Really? Yeah. You don't want to cross that too often. But if it's a good place, sandwich or burger place, that knows what they're doing, what they do is they'll wrap the sandwich for the burger and then double wrap it with the pickle outside of the original wrapping. That way you don't get to... No, there's too much essence of pickle getting through the wrap. Do you hate pickles that much?

Yeah, I vomited like you would not even believe. And it came out of my nose and stuff. And I just... Sometimes... Taste aversion. taste aversion. It's science Brandon. Sometimes I like thinking, wondering to myself how you got Salvo with like the most uptight, ridiculous, high maintenance dogs in the world. And then I have a conversation with you again and I'm like, Oh, he,

they are just taking after him. It's like a father like son. Wow. It really is, uh, what nurture. Wow. It really is a nurture over nature. It really is. Wow. I feel absolutely targeted right now. And just because I'm more anxiety than person and it reflects directly into Jenkins doesn't mean you have to like tell me about it, Brandon.

I mean, I'm the same way. Sometimes I'll think to myself, why does flapjack scream and bark at strangers all the time? And then I think to myself, oh, it's cause that's what I do. Why is, why is Jenkins so jumpy out in public and he gets startled? Yeah. Why is he, why is he deathly afraid of other people? Oh, it's cause I am. That makes sense. Why does he, why is he deathly afraid of, of other people? That's cause I am, that makes sense.

Why does he, why does Jenkins really hate leaving the house? Oh, whoops. All right. Anyways, so we have, wait, wait, we gotta, so Hanavant, just to recap the winners and losers, Pacey enters, he does a fantastic, uh, Braveheart, uh, rendition. Oh yeah. And the dress loved it. Pacey enters. He does a fantastic Braveheart rendition. Oh yeah, and the dress loved it. But he loses. Yeah. It is nightwear. He did not get enough credit for wearing the evening gown while doing Braveheart.

But he he never had a chance of winning. What does Dawson's mom say the this club would rather burn it to burn everything to the ground than crown a male win. This win, Jemma. And then third place goes to our dearest Hannah von Winning. And then second place, Joey Josephine. She wins a free health spa day at the little salon, right? Yep.

And then did you see what Hannah won? It was like some, like where they do the plays, like it was like a theater, but she won, it was only a Tuesday or Thursday matchday. Yes. He got to go on Tuesday or Thursday. And then like we mentioned before, Roberta Crump, our crumper, she wins first place. She really did deserve to win though. They showed her playing the piano, her talents, and then they showed a couple of her answers and her answers were by far the best. She was like,

I'm going to go to, she said she already got into Juilliard, but she's going to take a year off to join the Peace Corps and then go back to Juilliard. So, yeah, all around, Roberta Crump, grade A, A plus. Very, very, and then, and then the episode. And you can't beat Roberta. That's a fucking, that's a great name. Roberta Crump. Yep. The color birdie. With Dawson telling Joey on the little dock

that he loves her and Joey's like, nah, dude, you love this version of me. I want you to love me, me. Yeah. So, so yeah. All right. Classic. Classic looking Dawson, dude. Classic Dawson.

All right, let's get into the season finale because my God, we've got a lot of moving pieces because it kicks off with Joe. Well, it doesn't, I don't know if it kicks off with it. It gets real fucking meta too. Yeah. And they just jump in, right? Cause they are, we've got, I think it starts with something else before this, but like the big thing that happens is Joey and her sister, her sister's like, Hey, we take turns going to visit dad in prison on his birthday. This is your year.

I went two years in a row. You got to go. And France too. Yes. And that's where it kicks off with Joey getting an opportunity to go to France because, um, someone dropped out, which is, which is good. And of course Dawson's the worst about it, right? Like, of course it's, she's spending a fucking semester in France. She's moving there forever.

And he acts like she's going to be gone for the rest of drives me fucking crazy, dude. Yeah. Yeah. It drives me fucking crazy, dude. Yeah. Yeah. It's how long is the semester? What? Like five months, four months, not very long. No, yeah, it's, it's, it's terrible, but that, that was the most annoying thing.

But yeah, she gets that opportunity and then she, she, her sister's like, dude, you've got to go visit dad. It's been forever. Like let's go. Yeah. Cause yeah, she said she, it's been two years. Cause like you said, they are alternating birthdays. She mentioned to Dawson, she hasn't been since the last birthday, which would have been two years ago. Yeah. So yeah, she hasn't seen him in fucking forever. I wonder how long he went away for.

Did they ever say that? Um, they didn't say how, how long he went away for. Just said he went away. She mentions he went away. He went away for trafficking, uh, weed, which that's a lot of, to get a trafficking charge is a lot of fucking weed. Yeah. So trafficking and it, and he's in the federal pen too, right?

Do they not say that? I thought he went to federal pen. I don't think they mentioned the name. Okay. I didn't know if they mentioned him going to federal pen. Cause if he goes to federal pen. It looked like a very low security one though. Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe. Which makes sense cause he's just, he's just weed and the sticks of Massachusetts. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe. Which makes sense because he's just he's just weed and the sticks of Massachusetts. Yeah. And and so because trafficking is a federal crime, but they might they might release him because no past offenses and all that stuff to like a state. Yeah, yeah, because it is still a mistake because they go to fucking four hours away, four hours away. It was like Dell, Delham, Massachusetts. I forget what the bus said, but it is still in the state because they go to fucking four hours away, four hours away. It was like Dell, Dell Ham, Massachusetts.

I forget what the bus said, but it started with a D. Yeah, but Dawson, the key here is, oh my God, and this is crazy too. But the key here is that Dawson goes with her, but because the bus ride takes so long, they get past. They got a plan. They, you got to plan that better. Well, I agree. I like if, like, first of all, sister needs to tell Joey,

you got to be there before five and Joey needs to leave at eight a.m. Yeah. If you're visiting somebody in prison, that's a morning activity. Yeah. It's, it's not a, it's not a, so anyways, then they, they try to paint the guard like a jerk. And it's like, dude, it's, it's very strict. He can't, you know,

it's, it's tough. So, so, but then they have another sleepover, but they don't just have a sleepover. They have a sleepover at a hotel room and Dawson for the first time realizes that the stakes have, have leveled up in their relationship. And he kind of tells, you know, like, Hey, I think I have romantic feelings for you. Yeah. The, what is it? The loveless motel. I think it was one of those hotels.

Oh my God. It, it just, um, and, and I love how she's like, yeah, I'm gonna go to France and escape my life here at the Cape Town or whatever. It's like, dude, you're gone for three months. It's a semester. Like three, I need everyone to understand that that semester is going to fly by.

Yeah. Well, so, and then, so to go back to the beauty thing a little bit, there's, they're asking the questions and Dawson is facilitating the questions. And he asks, one of the questions he asked Joey is, where do you see yourself in five years? And she's like lists off a bunch of different exotic places. And he goes, what does he say? He goes, Oh, you always talked about leaving Cape side, but I thought you just meant like Boston. What a fucking loser, dude. I thought you just were talking

about going down the road. My God. And, dude, what did you think about it? Cause like, uh, so, so that happens and then they go into it. Let's finish this. And then we can move on to some of the other storylines from this episode. But so then they, then they go, they stay overnight. They go back the next day. Overnight they have a, uh, they have a, like a weird conversation. Yes. Well, cause Dawson is trying to tell Joey how he feels.

And Joey is trying to do what Dawson did when Joey was trying to do this in like the very first episode when she was like, hey, I feel like our slumber parties have changed. And Dawson's like, nah, dude, it's cool. And I feel like they just switched roles for this, hotel slumber, where Dawson's like, hey, I think the roles have changed. And Joey's like, no, uh, switch roles for this hotel summer where Dawson's like, Hey, I think the roles have changed.

And Joey's like, no dude, it's cool. Even though like, and this time she's not being naive. She's actually like, no, let's just try and fake it till we make it. Yeah. But then, so yeah. And then he, uh, they're, they have like the, the, it gets into more like. He starts like talking about his feelings, he says some weird stuff and then he like clams up, freezes and like puts his head in the pillow.

And it's like, this is the time where I was like, just fucking, just talk. And then she mentions like, what the fuck are you so scared of Dawson? Because he's like, my head and my heart don't like, they don't match what the fuck are you so scared of Dawson? Uh, cause he's like, he's like my head and my heart, like they don't match up and I'm just so scared. What the fuck are you scared of? So I, I, I don't empathize with the scared part, but I do empathize with thinking a thing in your head and then saying it out loud and having the version that you say out loud be so much worse than what you were thinking in

your head where like, yeah, you know, you got to keep talking it through. So, so like I say that as like, I am the king of like, that as like, I am the king of like, accent, like I am Winston where like I can instantly kill romance in a room in like 30 seconds. And, and like I, in my brain, I'll be like, okay, this is like a nice romantic thing to say, and then I'll say it out loud and it will be the worst version of that thing to say romantically and just suck all the oxygen right out of the room.

Like, and Kelly will vouch that I am the king of this. And so like, I did empathize with Dawson where he was saying like, Hey, like the things that I want to say in my head, it makes sense in my head. But then when I verbalize it, it slowly starts to unravel. I get it, I've been there. It's 90% of me communicating. You just gotta keep talking though. But you gotta get there in the end.

The problem is that usually I just keep tripping over my feet instead of finding my own part. Like you said, you gotta get there in the end. If you just stop, then we don't go anywhere. Anyways, but yeah, so that was rough. But then Joey just, she gets to the prison and she's just all the years of hatred that she's been holding in erupt, right? And you can't, she, once again, just Katie Holmes, shout out, crushes exactly how you would expect a 15 year old girl to react to her visiting her dad

in prison for the first time in years. It's not going to be a, you know, logical conversation that's going to take place. Right. Like it's going to be emotionally charged. Yeah. Throughout the entire thing. And it's probably going to lead to a storm out, but then we, Dawson comes to the realization and Katie's dad, not Katie, but Joey's dad come to the realization that,

we do that all the time, that Dawson is in love with Joey because of the way he talks about her, right? The way he looks at her. Well, she storms out and the dad's like, tell me about my daughter. And he goes on this fucking gushing, yeah. I'm fucking monologue that takes like seven minutes. That's exactly what you would expect from Dawson Leary. Come on.

Oh yeah, that's true. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, he just, he goes on for hours and hours about how amazing she is. And it's like, okay, dude. Okay. It's the same thing. Or like when he was on the boat a couple episodes with, uh, Pacey. And he like describes, he's talking about Joey,

he describes love to a fucking T and at the end he's like, uh, oh yeah, that's not love. Yeah. Doesn't he, doesn't he, at the end of the, the monologue to the dad, doesn't he say she's everything? Yeah. Yes. Yes.

And so I think we have to like, I think we can all agree, right? That it is probably very difficult for Pacey to be Dawson's friend. Like, like, does that, is that a fair thing to say? Like, I feel like it would be so difficult to be friends with Dawson Leary. Because like the worst you would, even with a picture drawn out for him of like exactly what you mean with commentary and you know, like he just, he thinks he's smarter than everybody. And so he instantly dismisses everything that everyone else says. And so they tell him truths to his face constantly, but he never hears them

because it's not his truth. Yes. Cause he, he didn't come to the realization. Yes. And, and so he becomes somewhat insufferable. It's, um, yeah, I would lose my fucking mind. Like Pacey tells, gives him advice. He asked Pacey his advice.

Pacey gives him the advice. He then ignores Pacey's advice and proceeds to do- And he blows up in his face. And he doesn't understand. Yeah. Why it didn't work out. I mean, to be fair, been there before, right? Yeah.

Been there before. That's a very teenage way. And it's not like Pacy's crushing life right now. Yeah. You can take Pacy's advice with a grain of salt at all times. You know, but it's, yeah. It's, it's- He refuses to acknowledge that anybody else

could possibly be right. Yeah. And then we'll save the end for the end. Cause the last 10 minutes of this episode were on fire. They were just absolutely on fire. I loved it. Cause like, excuse me, the other storyline that we have going is we got Gramps coming back

for just a quick spell, like, hey-o, what's up gang? And then it caused too much stress on his heart being awake. And he had another stroke. So he was asleep. He was in a coma. Do they let you go home if you're in a coma? That seems wildly irresponsible. Yeah.

Yeah. They will. Like he had the proper setup. There's a few shows with that setup. Like I- Shows, but in real life, do they let you go home if you're in a coma? If you are at the end, they will let you go die at home.

I know they usually do that, but even if you're in a coma, because if you're in a coma, the reason that they leave you in the coma is that so you're not on the precipice of it, you know? Well, he's I think he was just on life support is all and I think that like you can get the life support set up at home. He wasn't, he wasn't in a coma though. Oh, maybe not.

I don't know. I don't, I feel like he was faking it a little bit. He was just, he was faking it a little bit. He was just he was a stroke. He had a stroke. He's on life support is like what I kind of picked up on. It did remind me of. The the podcast, I've mentioned it a couple of times on here. How did this get made? They have Adam Scott on there a couple of times, and he mentions

like one of his favorite days on set are always the days when he's just like, all he has to do is like sleep while the other people are doing stuff. And he's like, those are the fucking best days. It reminded me of this because I was like, the dude who's playing Gramps was probably loving the whole season before this, when he's just laying in the bed while everybody else is acting around him. That would be the cushiest acting job ever. You just fucking, just lay there, don't move, and try not to make too much noise. And you're like, I got this, dude, I fucking got this.

Dude, I think you just hit how I break into Hallmark, right? You just gotta play somebody in a coma. I can start as coma guy on a daytime soap opera, right? You just got to be, you just got to play somebody in a coma. I can start as coma guy on a daytime soap opera, right? I would love it. I would love it if every time there was a guy in a coma in a Hallmark movie, it was you. How do I, how do I get that gig? How do I get that? I don't think that's so good. I don't think there's a lot of Hallmark movies utilizing comas. But there can be. It's an untapped market, dude. It's an absolutely untapped market.

Yeah. In Hallmark movies. Or you just keep playing the dead body in long order. No, dude. I could be like a frozen. Hasn't this guy died already? Didn't he die last episode? It's like a psych level, like it becomes like a psych level.

It's just like, oh, Dead Guy 4. Like that guy crushed 50 episodes of this show as Dead Guy 4. Like, coma guy one through 58. You know, Per Happily from Parks and Rec? Yes. I forget his real name, but he was a legit reporter, like news reporter in LA. And now he just plays news reporters in TV shows and movies. He's in like every, I would say every,

because there's a few roles he does that were, but like 99% of the roles he does, he's a news reporter. He does like, per taply, he's like a news reporter in the Fast and Furious franchise. He pops up in like a couple different ones of those. Like he only plays news reporters. Have you seen the actor that only plays Hector's? The actor that only plays Hector's, like it's like him.

It's like, dude, I'd be it's like him. It's like, dude, I'd be so good at it. It's like I said, at Hallmark movies, I want to be like the brother or the weird uncle or like the guy that's like, you can't be like that close. You got to be like, like a townsperson, you know, like, uh, like the hardware store owner, the guy who owns the diner, you know? Okay. No, no, I would want to, like I would own the Christmas tree farm. Definitely own a few Christmas tree farms. Sometimes that's where the love interest is, you know, is working. Well, it, I guess depending on the plot line, I'll always be,

I'll always be one business removed from the main plot line. There you go. That's true. It should, the business should switch, but you should be a business owner at every single. Yeah, exactly. Right? Like I am a business owner, but like what it is depends on the story. If you are the Christmas tree farm, guess what? Someone needs to chop it down. Come to your hardware store. Or you like run the coffee truck outside or something like that. The hot cocoa truck, you know,

cause it'd have to be a little more ridiculous. Or like I'm the electrician that puts up the town's Christmas lights. There you go. Yeah. You know, like that's, jeez Hallmark, call me up, dude. Call me up. I don't know how you go about getting an agent,

but we should get one. Yeah, got to. All right, all right, all right. So let's go back. I will say it did touch my heart when Graham's, like I said, like when she choked up, when she broke down in the church saying that she missed her husband.

That I felt, oh dude, that just, cause like she processes her grief through kind of being the worst, right? Like it's, it's very Midwest of her. Like that makes so much sense. I don't think that was, I think that's just her personality. I don't think that was her process in her grief. Oh, I know.

Oh, sorry. Maybe that's dude. A lot of Midwesterners process grief through like being the worst to others. Right. It's like, I'm going to process my grief through kind of being a stick in the mud for everyone around me for the next few. I feel like she was like that before though. Oh, okay.

As well. Um, yeah, I don't know. I just, I, I felt, I felt really bad for Graham's cause you know, she's now she's just got to, you know, cause I feel like, you know, maybe Graham, I putting this personality onto Graham's, but I feel like he was, you know, like the way that Jen relates to him. I feel like he was like the fun grandpa that counterbalance the stick in the mud Graham's, you know what I mean? Like her kids, her kids out of town in New York. Yeah.

Now she has, now she has Jen, it's a little close, but it was pretty much just her and Gramps for awhile. Yeah. And when Jen leaves, she's on her own. Right. Um, and it's just that realization. Let's face it. Jen's not the.

Pleasant company, right? Like she's, she's not the one you want around all the time. Yeah. And like, honestly, I I gotta give Jen this feedback. It's like, dude, if your Grams needs religion to process her grief, if you let it ride one fucking day, dude, just- If all your Grams wants is for you to go to fucking church one time with her, go to fucking church.

Just once, it's not a big, dude, I- Go to church and shut your fucking mouth. Right. Like you're her. Partner for years is dying and like, and she's like, just and I'm glad she does it in the end, right? Like you have the moment in the church. I'm glad she did. But she was even going back to when, like when she woke up

and she was in her grams, it's like, it was the power of prayer. Let her have that. Like, right? Like, don't be a dick then. Let her fucking have that. You can be atheist. You can not believe in it. You can do all those things. But for the love of God, her husband just woke up. Yeah. Let her have that. There was like an inkling of hope. And let's, I don't know, just, even going back to before Gramps, you know, passes, when she first gets there and Graves is like,

just come to church with me. And there's even there's one episode where she's like, you can stay out as late as you want, as long as you come to church on Sunday with me. And it's even, there's one episode where she's like, you can stay out as late as you want, as long as you come to church on Sunday with me. And it's like, just fucking suck it up. And just one day. I mean, even if you gotta go every week, like she's one day out of the week, you're living in her house and you are providing zero help to her.

You're not doing fucking chores. Honestly, you're just adding a ton of stress more than anything. Exactly. You're taking away from Gramps. You're taking the tension away from Gramps. Like just, like throw her a bone, be a team player, and go to church and shut your fucking mouth. Just five seconds. How long is a church service? Like an hour, hour and a half tops, right?

Yeah, they're not that long. Yeah. Two hours tops. And then she'll probably take you out to fucking lunch afterwards, you know? Yeah, dude. Oh, that's like a thing, right? Yeah. Like we always had the church grat out to fucking lunch afterwards, you know? Yeah, dude. Oh, that's like a thing, right? Like we always had the church crowd at tacos and more afterwards.

I worked at a, when I was working at a frozen yogurt place, we had the church crowd on Sundays. They were the worst. They were so fucking messy. Well, yeah. You, you, not to get into it, but you hit the nail on the head as to why people have such complex relationships with religion. Right.

Is because like, and maybe it's just me, but I always feel like whenever I've encountered the most hyper like religious, like over the top, they're usually kind of the worst. And so it's like this complex thing where it's like, okay, well, like, dude, like, shut the fuck up. You're a hypocrite, right? Like there's just so many depths of hypocrisy when, when people try to preach at you. Yeah. Well, it's always the loud ones. The loud ones are the worst. You know, as an ordained minister, they don't speak for all of us. Same, same, same.

I got my certificate over here. I will say there was, and whenever I would go to Rockets games, there was always the dude on the corner yelling at people. And so finally I was stuck there cause it was a busy, you know, busy intersection and I had to wait for the crosswalk. And I, and I finally just really noticed like,

Hey man, have you ever thought about not yelling? Like, I just, like, I'm, I'm sorry. It's you're never going to win me over. I don't care how good your point is. If you are standing on a corner, yelling at me, I'm not going to respond well to your message. That's just me as a person, but I feel like a lot of people follow that. So I just tried to encourage him. I was like, have you ever thought about being nice instead of yelling?

Like, don't fucking yell at me, dude. You catch more flies with honey, right? You got it. Like, hey, hell might be chill for you, bro, but there's other options. I don't know. Hell might be chill, bro. All right, all right, let's get back to this episode,

because otherwise I'm gonna have to stop signing go pee. So the last piece of this episode, it comes good goes quick and we talked about it in the last episode is just Pacey and his brother. The conversation like gets deeper where he's just fighting about the failing grades and Pacey's feeling bad about himself and Joey and Pacey kind of like bond about being the,

the black sheep of the town. And having terrible dads. Yeah. Yeah. And then Joe gives this great piece of advice to Pacey and Pacey hits her with the, Oh, is that what you did? Yes. Oh, so good. So good. And then, and then she's like, all her with the, Oh, is that what you did? Yes. Oh, so good. So good. And then, and then she's like, all right, dude, sorry, you got to steal your dad's car again and we got to go here and he's like, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa, it's called borrowing. He's mentioned that in a couple of different episodes where he's like, when family's involved, I prefer to call it, call it borrowing. Well, in the exactly, dude, I, okay, hold on. We didn't talk about it. Not to get us back after I say, let's wrap it borrowing. Well, in the, yeah, exactly. Did I, okay, hold on. We didn't talk about it. Not to get us back after I say let's wrap it up. So I don't pee. Um, when Pacey borrows the car, the reason that Jen has to, or Joey has to stay in

the car and talks to the dude, do you hear why he doesn't have the key? He can't stop it. He hot wired it. He hot wired this dad's car. Yeah. Oh man. That's really good stuff. It's incredible stuff. So it's not called stealing. I feel like even if you're borrowing it from family, anything that you hot wire is stealing. I think his dad would definitely consider it's oh her dad is his dad is Absolutely gonna report him like his his dad is Yeah, the epitome of like parent throwing chilled child to the wolves for if they fuck up at the same point

So he hotwires. How are his dad's car? They drive four hours back to the prison. They get there fucking midnight, it looks like. And Pacey bribes the guard to let her have a quick chit chat with dad. And he comes sauntering through the yard. See, this is why this is definitely a low security prison. Oh, well, it's also 1998. Things are just different. But the... I don't know if those are that different in prison. Well, that's true. That's true. But dude, how hard they were trying to have like a heartfelt moment. I was laughing so hard because they were trying so hard. Like the, the, the grabbing of each other,

his hands between the chain link fence, like they touched each other for the first time in five years as father and daughter. And like the way the shot came in from above, like the, the one lonely lamp on the fence of the prison where daughter and father were reunited. Like it tried so hard to be a moment. I loved it. Like don't get me wrong. It was solid.

Once again. They played the shelter dog song. Yeah. Dude. And shelter song, Sarah McLaughlin. Oh, it was so good, Brandon. Yeah. Dude. And shelter song, Sarah McLaughlin. It was so good. Brandon, the last half of this episode was on fire for me.

Like I was so in like the soundtrack was in like them trying so hard with all these heartfelt moments to go from Sarah McLaughlin to God bless the broken road to, um, I'll be, I'll be, I'll be is before. So they play the first, so Jen, they just, they did everything in their power. Like musically, let me walk, let me walk everybody through this. Yeah. Walk them through this because they did everything in their power to make you cry as much as

humanly possible. Jen comes back. This is before Gramps actually dies. It's the morning before, I believe, or the day before she comes into Dawson's bedroom. She climbs up the ladder and is like, hey, can I do what Joey does? Can we have like a little sleepover as friends? She says it like that too. Can I do what Joey does?

She cuddles up with Dawson on his bed and this is the first, right now is when they first, you first hear Arms of an Angel is the name of it, the Sarah McLaughlin song. The one they play in all the animal shelter commercials. So they play, they hit you with that, which is like, I'm already balling. As soon as that song hits, I'm balling. When that song hit, I was like, God, I hope Brandon doesn't make me sing it cuz I do not want it stuck in my head So they so that and then it fades out whenever and you get Pacey and Joey at the prison Joe er Pacey's robbing the guard and then she goes and talks to the dad and halfway through the conversation with the dad

They hit you again Sarah McLaughlin arms in a second time, just in case the first wasn't enough. So that whole thing goes down, then it's like the next morning. And Joey, it's after Joey's dad is like, Dawson loves you. Obviously, oh my god, fucking idiot. Yes. This is so good. So she good. So then they're coming back. She's rowing the boat. She's rowing the boat. She's running. She's running the creek across Dawson's Creek. And she's rowing the boat. She's rowing the boat and she's running. Oh my God, across the creek, across Dawson's Creek, Brandon, she's rowing the boat across Dawson's Creek.

What's playing while she's making her way to Dawson's place? I'll Be by Edwin McCain. Oh my God, it was perfect. And it's like crescendoing as she's going up the ladder and Jen is like going into Kiss Dawson, but Dawson's like, I'm not sure. I'm not really leaning into it.

I do need to point out. Yeah. They apparently fell asleep over the sheets in jeans, in their normal clothing. Well, I mean. I had a lot of issues with sleeping in jeans. That's a hard no. You are sober and you are sleeping I had a lot of issues with sleeping in jeans. That's a hard no.

If you are sober and you are sleeping in jeans outside of like napping on the recliner, I am worried about you. Especially over sheets. I am incredibly worried about where you're at in your life. Over sheets and blanket. They had nothing covering them. Except for the jeans. But yeah, oh my God, dude, as that song's crescendoing,

like I was like, I was, I was like, oh no! Oh no, Jo, oh no! She's going, cause she's fucking rowing and all of a sudden you're just hearing, fucking Edwin McCain, he's dressing it up with the trappings of a love dude. Oh my God. And he's just, oh my God, he's going to be captivated and hang from their lips instead of the gallows of heartache and hang from above. Oh dude. And then she comes in and she's looking

in the window and she's like, oh shit, they're making out. And Dawson's like, no I didn't. Comes out at the worst possible time. Worst possible time. We're not making out, I was gonna say no, I didn't think I was into it. And then Dawson's like, oh my God, I've gotta go. And he goes running after Joey. Brandon, can you tell I was in?

Oh my God, keep going, sorry. It was just, oh my God, it was so, dude, when that music came on and she's, because she didn't actually row, right? They're pulling her with the row, but my God. You can tell, because she gets in and before she starts rowing the boat, it's just moving.

Yeah, it's just moving. But dude, her rowing across Dawson's Creek to Dawson and that fucking boat as Al B is playing. I was like, oh my God. Yes. Joey. No, she's going to tell him she loves him. Because I'm like, anyways.

But so she sees them. She freaks out. She bolts. Right. Like you said, Dawson freaks out to you. So it's chasing her. And then that's when we get, Bless the Broken Road is when she is like wandering through town and he's just one spot behind her. Oh my God.

Well, and then this, and also that's where Jen finds out that Gramps passed. That's Gramps' past. Yeah. Yep. Because they hit the crescendo of that song right after Gramps breaks down and they're hugging and then Joey and Dawson, he finally gets her at the dock. He ever in a long lost dream, let me to where you are. Oh my God, Brandon. Yeah, so he catches her, finally catches up with her. And then they kiss, unfiltered,

hand behind the back of the head. That's how you know it's love, right? Oh my God. Woo, man, they just, they put a year's worth of passion into that kiss. And then, oh, and they make fun of cliffhangers and Joey calls it, ah, here we are, Dawson. Cliffhanger as normal.

Oh my God, dude, I love Joey. That was when I was like, God, I fucking love Joey, dude. She's the best. She was the best at being the worst, but also not the worst because she's just like, dude, what a rough, rough situation. And she does it very well. But anyways, like you said,

the music in this episode along with the dramatics and the last, the backend, like, especially that last 10 minutes is jam packed. It is jam packed full of everything. Oh my God. I, this is, this is hands down my favorite. Like I was, I've been thinking about this a lot Brandon. Like I love the ducks, right?

Like we did this because of the ducks and we've done some of my favorite movies, like from childhood, from growing up. This is probably the most fun I've had with this. And this might be my favorite thing that we've done because I just, it weirdly hits all of my favorite things at the same time. And it is so, it's like not, I would have hated it as a kid.

So like, we've talked, we've very well established this, but my God, I was so all in on this show. It was amazing. It was like in this, even the lull of the beauty pageant, I was like, okay, I see what we're doing here because we're teeing up this last episode, but my God, that last, that finale, that just, and it followed episode one too,

where it was just like, there is a lot of shit happening here. Like, mother of God. But yeah, the decision was made and Dawson made his decision. It was Joey. And now, and now- Cliffhanger.

And Brandon, I am like, what in the world is gonna happen in season two? Like what in the world? And I'm not gonna look. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna look. to happen in season two? Like what in the world? And I'm not going to look. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to look. We'll do season two soon. I think next, I think next we're going to do animated series.

Are you up for that? Oh, I'm also very ready for how terrible that's going to be. It's going to be so funny. We'll do a couple, we'll do some animated series and then we'll come back for season two. So my one last thing, I might get a lot of slack for this, but I, so I do not care for hospitals. Hospitals are not my jam.

It's the most, it's the place I get the most anxiety at. Agree. Watching, watching Jen visit her grandpa in the hospital was anxiety riddled with me. But not only that, not only did she visit him, she, she proceeds to sit next to him and touch his face for 30 minutes constantly. Touch it. She's touched. She's like grabbing his hand and like, she's like, I don't that dry. That gives me so much anxiety. It was driving me fucking crazy. You're yeah.

Brandon, you are going to catch flack for that. You're the weird one for that one. It's like if it's a love one, you know, I don't know. Yeah, I would. I would do that for my wife, but that's about it. That's the one gram like your grandparents. I would never touch my my wife, but that's about it. That's like your grandparents. I would never touch my grandparents at a hospital. I had multiple opportunities to never did it. Not, not doing it.

Get that for tick tock. Oh, that's classic right there. That is, I can't dude. It's just, I don't know what it is. It fucking weirds me out though. I mean, listen, you're probably going to have a few nightmares about like holding your dead grandparent, but I don't know. Yeah. Jesus. God, we just ended that on the most Brandon way possible. Jesus Christ. I had to get it out. I had to the whole time I was watching it.

I was like, God, no, Jen, no, Jen, no. All right. Do your cakey rating. God, I don't know how you could give. So we're doing season one as a whole, right? Season one as a whole, right? Like, yeah. Okay.

Where on IMDB, the lowest rated episode was I think 7.2, and the highest rated episode was 8.3. That doesn't help me because our skill's at a 5, bro. Yeah. I'm gonna just to just scale it Scale I gotta so I gotta think about this cuz it's not it's gonna be a different You know like comparing this to movies it's not it's not a one-to-one comparison No, but we're gonna we're gonna make it work cuz I mine I think is like a four point eight Mine, I think is like a 4.84. 4.84.

Cause it's got, it had a couple, like there were a couple episodes where I was like, eh, I'm kinda, I'm kinda out on this episode. But man, when, when those episodes were on, I was all in. And it became one of my favorite shows. when those episodes were on, I was all in. And it became one of my favorite shows. Like I became a Dawson's Creek fan boy of this show.

Like I'm all in, I'm a Dawson's Creek fan. I cannot wait for the next seasons for us to dig into those. Cause it's gonna be so good. So you have 4.84. Yep. I'm gonna go, I think I'm gonna go 4.1, 4.1, because, and I'm only saying that because, so I love Dawson's Creed.

Season one's good, because like he said, it starts with so much happening, but I know where the show goes. I know it gets even crazier. And there are better TV shows. I am just rating this on pure emotion. Season one of the OC I would rate higher than this because the OC is fucking, it's, it's even more batch crazy.

It's, it's probably too generous of a rating cause there's many shows that I obviously like more than this one, but like for this podcast, for watching it for the first time, like 30, almost 30 years after it came out, it was so much fun to go through and watch for the first time. Like that really, like the, the first time watchability experience highly factors into my rating here. It was my first time, right? Like if this was the second, third, fourth time I was watching this, if I already knew what was going to happen,

it would absolutely lower the rating. But as a fresh set of eyes, this was hilarious. It was like, because even when they tried, like when they were trying hard, it was hilarious. Because you knew what they were doing. It was just, it was, It was just really good stuff. The detention episode was a highlight for sure. That was a really good one. The whole teacher 15 year old thing gives it a,

looking back I could probably take some rating off of it. But once, once they got rid of tomorrow, it was, it was on fire. It was go. Yeah. Um, yeah, I've seen it with four one. Cause the next episode was the fucking baby episode after they, they kicked tomorrow to the curb during the hurricane episode. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm, I'm serious. 4-1. Because like I said, I know where it goes. And it gets a little crazier. And I believe it gets better. That might be rose-colored glasses looking back. But I believe it gets better.

But so yeah, 4-4-1. This show is fucking fantastic. It's such a product of its time. Yes. Yes. It was a full product of 98. As 90s kids, we're definitely biased about it. I was 12 when this came out, right?

Like it was made for someone like me. Yeah, especially now, like when we're like mid 30s and up and it's like, you know, it's hitting every nostalgia point you could imagine with not only the soundtrack, the fucking video store. Uh-huh. The clones are fantastic. Um, but yeah, it's, it was just a lot of fun to go back and watch this for the first time and, and from beginning to end, I was all the way like that first

episode, they got me, I was, I was like that first episode. They got me. I was I was like, holy shit. This is crazy. And it was I was all in. I was all in great. Great. Great time. Great hits. Good oldies.

All the good stuff. Yeah, but so we'll circle back to season two. We're going to do it. And then a couple episodes of the animated ducks series up next. And then we'll circle back to season two Yeah, done and done. What a journey and I wanna wait For season two of dawson's creek because it should be awesome. Just like this one

Okay, that was off the cuff off. So you