The Cake Eaters - 103. Mighty Ducks the Movie: The First Face-Off (Ep. 1-3)

Episode Date: February 11, 2025

We have finally gotten to the Animated Series. Heath and Brandon dive into Mighty Ducks the Movie: The First Face-Off which is the first three episodes of the Animated Series. The boys talk through 90s cartoons, the star-studded cast that this dumb cartoon has, duck puns, the Jefferson Airship theme song, and fast food tie-ins.Follow us on Instagram @thecakeeaterspodEmail us at [e-mail]

It's not worth winning if you can't win back! On the road to glory, ain't no turning back. It's got to be the mighty ducks on the quack attack. Look out clear the way the ducks are here to play ducks rock. Ducks rock! Brandon! Ducks rock! Are you kidding me? It gets better, but I want to save that for some of the next episodes.

It is incredible. I thought I was ready for this. I don't know if I am. This show is everything I love about animated kids TV in the 90s. Like these were a dime a dozen. Every toy had a series at one point. Wasn't there a Mighty Mac series at one point even? Probably.

But so this was part of, what was it called? Disney's, what was it called? Disney's, Disney's, of, what was it called? Disney's, what was it called? Disney's, Disney's, what the fuck was it called? Well, on Saturday morning. Remember that? Disney's cartoon afternoon lineup, okay? In the mid-90s. And it only had one season. This was the last, this was the last cartoon they made for that, like block of programming, the cartoon afternoon lineup. And then they canceled it.

So the funny thing, Brandon is going into this cartoon. I was like, well, it only lasted one season. I don't really remember it at all. I remember the toys. They had toys for like burger. Oh yeah. Right. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. The fast food tie ins dude. Yeah. The fast food tie ins were amazing, but I remember the toys from Burger King. I love how fucking Jim Belushi's character, he says that like every three minutes. You know, the fast food tie ins will make so much money. If you catch that, he says that like three or four times. I mean, so I thought it wasn't going to be a very good show.

I kind of enjoyed it. I'm not going to lie. Like I these first three episodes where it's everything I imagined it would be like, but it was, I was expecting so much worse because some of these cartoons in like the late 80s early 90s like those kids shows that they would just be like fuck it we're gonna make a show about this toy and they were just incredibly terribly bad you know what I mean and so like I like almost unwatchable at this point and and this isn't quite that bad. This has a good cast all around, honestly.

And so I was pretty impressed with the show. There's so many famous people doing these voices. It's unbelievable. Tim Curry is the main villain. When I saw Tim Curry as Dragones, I was like, Jesus Christ, how much did Disney pay for this show? I don't know.

Fantastic. That's good. I don't, I don't, I don't know if they have the budget information here. Because should we go over the premise of the show first or how do you want to, how do you want to rock this out Brandon? Because I, I took a lot of notes about the episodes because the episodes were fantastic and they were, they were worth taking note of. So yeah, let's give everybody a breakdown. So this is, we're doing Mighty Ducks, the animated series,

which is like we said, it was on Disney's cartoon afternoon lineup for one season. It ran from I think late 96 to early 97. Got it. So it came out like pretty much right around the same time as D3, I think maybe like a touch after. Yeah. But it has no connection at all to the movies.

It's a completely like it's a sci-fi fucking cartoon story we got going on here. You know, the Disney afternoon that it was on had some real banger shows on it, dark wing, duck, tailspin, duck, tails, Chippendales, rescue rangers, real heavy on the ducks. Well, I mean, but those are all awesome. I literally have a dark wing, duck magnifying glass. I found it when I was at my parents' house. really have a dark winged duck magnifying glass. I found it when I was at my parents' house.

Fucking magnifying glass. Yeah. I think I, I think I mailed in some, some box like cereal box things, you know? Yeah. I got that thing. But so yeah, so, so animated series. So, and then what we're doing for today's episode is the first three episodes, which were released as a standalone movie before, I don't know if it was before or right when the TV show started.

But so this was a, these three episodes were, you know how they used to do that in the 90s where they would, you know, cobble together like three episodes and be like, oh, here's the movie. G.I. Joe's did it like once a season, at least, maybe twice. So they did that did it like once a season, at least, maybe twice. So they did that with the first three episodes here, which is, so it was the move. So we're doing the animated series.

The standalone movie was the first face off, which is the name of the first two episodes. And then the third episode was, what is the name of the third one? It's like Duck. Oh, no, a trader among us. Yeah. And the, the honey, the old honey pot trick, you know? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. They try to pull it, pull a vast one.

But like he said, like what Tim Curry's in this, there's so many motherfuckers in this goddamn show. List the cast real quick for everyone because it's incredible. So, yeah. So for our main core, there's five of them, right? There's five, well, six. We lose the mate. We lose one of the guys early on.

But there's, they're like, they're, uh, they're like a vigilante superhero group, but that's not how they form. They just get to earth and decide that's what they're gonna, they're gonna be. Yeah. Well, because they, the show starts out and they're on, is it Puckelopolis? No. Puck World. Puck World.

And they're just, they're just playing hockey. They're just, it's just ducks playing hockey, hanging out. Did you catch the joke before the bad guys came in and started blowing up Puck World where he was like, oh yeah, you know, told the guy, no, I don't need insurance. And then his house blew up.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I got a good kick out of that. But anyways, keep going on the cast because there's so many good for the ducks and the villains. So yeah, so we have the core fire. We have Wild Wing, who's our main guy, named after the mascot, the Mighty Ducks mascot, who's voiced by Ian Ziering of Sharknado and 90210 fame. Then we have

Grinn, right? Grinn is his name. Grinn is the muscle that's voiced by Brad Garrett from Everybody Loves Raymond and The Pacifier. Remember that? Oh my God. Yeah. And then we had, And then we had a, then we had fucking nose dive. Who's wild wings, little brother. Imagine like, imagine you're, you're, you have an older brother whose name is wild wing and your name is nose dive. It's, it's like, it's like the Tom Hanks kid, where it's like, if you name your kid chat,

you're going to get a chat. That's exactly what it is. Yeah. And then we have, uh, Mallory McMallard, um, who's voiced by Jennifer Hale. She's a, like, she's done voiceovers for everything. She's, she's, uh, Jean Grey, I believe in X-Men, the X-Men cartoons. She's just, yeah, she's a voiceover legend. And then we have, uh, oh, and the Nosedive was Steve Mackle, who again is, uh, like a, anybody who's-

Voiceover guy. Yeah, like a voiceover legend. Um, and then, um, so it's those and then what the, Tanya, that's right, Tanya's the other one. What did you think about what they did with Tanya's those and then what the Tanya, the search, the other one. What did you think about what they did with Tanya's voice? So for the listeners, the, the character Tanya has like this super like, it's like, she's stuffed up, right? It's like, it's like my, it's like my voice. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. I guess, I guess she's got a deviant septum. He's okay. Leave her alone. That's it. That's what it is. Cause like, they have, but like they, it's almost like they kind of

like Elmer Fudd or goofy voice a little bit too, right? Like it's like, it's like a deviated septum. And then they try to give her like some kind of like twang, you know, like a Southern, like not quite a Southern accent, but kind of, you know, some, some twang to it, but either either way tiny his voice is weird Yeah, leave us alone he was like, but I know it's a so her and then then we got the spy guy Duke la orange His voice by Jeff Bennett again another

I think he's uh another voice over legend. I think he's, uh, another voice over legend. I believe he's Johnny Bravo. We double check there real quick. Yeah. He voices Johnny Bravo. Um, and then, and then, um, canard, canard is the guy we lose quick. Cause he's like the man, he's a team leader. Yep. He was kind of passes the mask on over to wild wing before, dude, I could not believe that, that I was like, Oh shit. He's just, he's sacrificing. Canard is just going to sacrifice himself to this fucking space worm. That's how we're, that's how we're kicking off episode one of the Ducks animated series.

Like what, what a real trial. Like they used to, they used to not hesitate for a second to put real tragedy in kids content back in the day. Well, you gotta give them, you gotta give them, you know, a reason to fight some, some, uh, now something to latch onto. That's why you kill baby's mom right at the get-go, you know, I love in the second episode when Duke La Orange is like, you gotta put on the mask, Wild Wing. He gave it to you for a reason.

You gotta become our leader. Duke La Orange was a fucking maniac. What was going on with his eye? He was wearing, it looked like he was wearing an eye patch, but then it was just, he still had like a regular maniac. What was going on with his eye? He was wearing, it looked like he was wearing an eye patch, but then it was just, he still had like a regular eye. It just like made his eye darker. My favorite wrinkle was Brad Garrett as grin talking in like-

Oh, in philosophy? Yeah, he's in like a fortune cookie. Everything he said is like, it's like if it was a duck fortune cookie. Yeah. Though the one that, the one that I remember is he goes, uh, fuck, what is it? It goes, it's something about, uh, uh, oh, he goes, uh, pain is an illusion. An illusion that really, really hurts.

Oh my God. I have some other ones written down too. It's really good. All right. But keep going through the characters. Cause those are the main, uh, really hurts. Oh my God. I have some other ones written down too. It's really good. All right. But keep going through the characters because those are the main, uh, duck. So those are the, those are our ducks. Those are, that's the main crew. And then we have a Jim Belushi who plays like their manager slash hockey coach.

Um, and his, his character's name is Phil Palm feather. And we have, uh, his whole shtick of being just an absurd, um, an absurd, like manager agent that was hard on his luck. His team just moved the Anaheim frogs. Just got the mighty frogs just got moved and he, he had to find a hockey team or he was going to lose his state. Yeah. He's like, I got to find a hockey team. Why don't you guys go out to the ice rink where there's a hockey team you can play. But then he was like, what are those are like

bad guy hockey players. They were going to be able to play in the real. I think they were called the destroyers and he says they've been kicked out of every league in the world or something like that. But all right, so now I talk to our bad guys. Well, we got to mention Captain Clayhorn, the cop. Oh my God. Who's uh, was my dentist friends. Do you remember him from NYPD? Did you ever watch NYPD Blue? Oh yeah. That that's where he's, I was like, I keep, I kept looking at his picture and looking at his picture, like, where do I know this guy from? Uh, NYPD Blue, fantastic city of angels. That was, I remember watching that movie. Um, the, uh, the, the opening of the entire episode one, I was, I was cracking up so hard

because it opens up on the cop and with the paper, it says mystery ducks, foil bank heist. And then it goes down and it's like, well, the photo they show could not be any clearer. It's very obvious to those people. Well, I know that was really funny, but the funniest part was when it scrolled down and it was like, cop angered by headline above. It's just a picture of him. The headlines were great. I laughed so hard when it showed that.

I think it's in the second episode when they cycle through a bunch of other headlines too, but then they cycle through a bunch of headlines. Cause apparently in this world, the city of Anaheim has like four different newspapers. It was like Anaheim times, Anaheim Chronicle, Anaheim. It's like four different newspapers. It was back when the print business was bow booming. He's remember capital. It was just so good. It was Capital J. I forget he's capital J

But yeah, the bad guys we have Tim Curry, I already mentioned as Lord Dragonis and He is the main bad guy cuz he comes so he comes back. He destroys puck world in a revenge because he broke out of Galactic prison. The Duke, the cane, what's the, what's the name of their, like their God. He's not a, he's not a God. Do Drake, do cane, Drake, do cane. Um, he's the planet savior over, um, sorry, on's overlords.

And the legend says that he did it with a high tech goalie mask, which gave him the ability to see through the sirens cloaking technology, which is a game changer. And with it, he sent them to a mysterious dimensional limbo. Did that cloaking shit was a serious fucking thing that was a, that was a game changer. And so that's where the last of, um, of these guys escaped the dimensional limbo and they returned to puck world. And that's where boom tack time. Yep.

I'm more sure. His minions too. I love that Zagoroyus. His minions too. I love that they call him his minions. Yep, we got Siege. He's voiced by Clancy Brown. Who again, voice over. He's voice is a bunch of Spongebob characters. Yeah.

Patrick, right? I want to say he's Mr. Krabs. I could be wrong. It's either Mr. Krabs or Patrick. It's one of the two. Somebody else correct us. I mean, he's in a he's in a million things, though. Shoshan Redemption, he's the captain. Yeah. And then we have troopers. My God. And we have race.

It was forced by Tony Jay. Again, another of these voiceover legend people are like there any he was in Beauty and the Beast in the Beast back of Notre Dame He also x-men. I feel like he was x-men to you. Hey Arnold. He was x-men and then teen Titans Teen Titans, yeah, Rugrats. He was dr. Lipschitz. So what which one was the third? What was the name of his third little minion?

There's Siege Wraith. It was a commander's chameleon You forgot about chameleon the guy that changes. Oh, there he is chameleon Yep, voiced by Frank Welker again, I believe he was uh, Scooby-doo not not Scooby-Doo, but he's a lot of voices in Scooby-Doo. Yeah. So just, yeah, just the, the amount of star power in this fucking nonsense

as commander xenon. I don't know if we've met that character yet. I don't think so. I think he comes in later, but Jim Cummings, everybody should know from Winnie the Pooh, he did. should know from Winnie the Pooh. He did. Did he do Winnie the Pooh? I know he did Tigger for sure.

Yeah, Tigger Winnie the Pooh. Curious George is the voice of my childhood. I used to do it. I used to do in Aladdin. Oh, nice. I used to crush Winnie the Pooh. Yeah, that was my jam fuzzy little buddy all stuff with fluffies, I remember the first time I saw the Was the heffalumps that like acid trip heffalumps scene? Yeah, I flum some was also that mess. Yeah changed me as a person I'm pretty sure I was high on cough syrup the first time I saw

But this all right, so they really did a great job of the individuals they got for this show and going into it. I thought it wasn't bad. It's, it's definitely a 90s cartoon. That's just absolutely insane. But as far as those go, it's really good. It's yeah, like it wasn't it wasn't like, like, I was pleasantly surprised. If you as soon as ducks rock hit, I was kind of like, Oh, are we? Are we are we in for are we in for something? Okay, that's the thing I forgot we forgot. The theme song you graced us with earlier is written and performed by Mickey Thomas from Jefferson Starship. Did you ever listen to Jefferson Starship? I don't know. I don't think so.

What name a song? Gosh, they got a ton. But they were a real weird fucking 70s, 80s band. They had like three different names. So Jefferson Airplane was the original band. And then like in the mid 70s, maybe it was the 80s, they had like a TIF going on. And so then they like a couple of them switched to Jefferson Starship. Because it's even you get even go even higher and further.

Yeah. So like when I was thinking, I was thinking of Jefferson Starship songs and I was like, wait, no, that's Jefferson, Jefferson airplane. Not Jefferson Starship. I mean, the theme song was fantastic. It was pretty I mean, it's no no, Dawson's Creek, but it's pretty good. I don't know. Like Dawson's Creek just had a top hit. This is a custom song made for these ducks to, to, to rock Brandon.

It feels like we're on the road to glory. Ain't no turning back. Got to be the mighty ducks on a quack attack. Could you handle that kind of quack attack, Brandon? These five? No, dude. No, that's I mean, just just grin. Grin is always taking fools out.

I do love how they gave everybody like a fucking everybody's character name is like somewhat uh, somewhat duck related. And then there's just Tanya. Tanya. She's the Donatello of the group. I mean, she's, she's the, uh, she's the electrical lady. She's the, you know, the. Does machines. Yeah.

She's the backbone. You know, the, yeah, she's the backbone. When they, when they introduce Mallory commando and weapons specialist, she's like, and I hate machines. That was those, those intros were, were so good. Um, yeah, unbelievable. This goddamn cartoon, man. Because Kinnard is the team captain. Duke La Orange being the most notorious jewel thief on Puck World.

But now, skills to good use. Well, him and Nosedive have a rivalry. Well, we find that out in episode three when they're both trying to get after, um, well, even before that, they're, you know, they were button heads a little bit. Okay. Um, how did you, how did you like Tanya's description? Hold on.

It's she's an expert in science and technology and she's so good. She could set a timer on a VCR. The one-liners that Jim Belushi has are so un-kid friendly that it's wild. It's almost as bad as when they're making the Marx Brothers, was it the Marx brothers jokes in the next year? It's like, no kids gonna understand what the fuck he's talking about. You're no kid. No kid was setting the VCR alarm or the VCR timer fucking 1997. And then what is it?

What does he say? He said something about grin. Uh, grin is, uh, he's so strong. He could bend steel by looking at it. And that's where it is like pain is an illusion that really, really hurts. What's he, what does he say about duck? Duck orange.

Cause he says he's just, he's just the most notorious jewel thief, but he's out putting it to good use. Oh, there was another one-liner that maybe I missed it. I laughed really hard too. When the cop goes over, he's grilling him and then it goes over to the filing cabinet and pulls the box of donuts out of there. Dude, his food, the food work with that cop was insane. Cause he dipped a hot dog in like a milkshake. Um, well yeah, he was doing some weird stuff with the food.

They were, they ordered a delivery from wiener world. Oh my God. That's, uh, it was, it was so good. And I love, I love how the planet there from is like obsessive hockey. Like that's the only thing they fucking do. And that's like the first thing they think about after they crashed the earth. They're like, we've got to play hockey to stay sharp.

I think that's an episode too. I've got that though. We talked a little bit about the history of where the ducks came from, where they were in puck world. Maybe they were just, they were just some hockey, super hockey bros, dragoness and his, and his bros, they come back to Puck World and they're gearing up to attack everyone. We, before we go too far, I feel like we need to talk.

Before we go too far, every time I try to describe the episode, you interrupt me and go on a stupid fucking tangent. We need to talk about his bros though, cause you got the chameleon guy, you got Siege, which is like a, he's like a battle turtle, right? And then the other one, what's his name? Wraith.

Wraith is like a fucking wizard? Is that what he is? Yeah. That was, yeah. He's a, he's a creepy looking guy, man. I didn't mind. And he's always very, he's so pessimistic. He's always like, I don't think this is going to work. Dragunius, you know, yeah, he's he's he's not a locker room guy is what I'm trying to say.

He's the Goldberg of the of the the bad guys. Brandon, first of all, I take deep offense to that as we've established, particularly in the third movie as Goldberg really stepped up as a true leader. He gets better. He grows into it. Maybe race will too. Maybe race will too. Yeah. Goldberg, the leader.

All right. So the ducks get rounded up by, uh, canard and canard is like, all right, you guys, we are going to go. And we're going to take out dragoness and his ship before he can finish. Yeah. But he, he recruits wild wing and nose diveosedive from like the slave, the walk of the slaves that Drogonis has going. He destroys the world and then he like enslaves everybody, right? Kind of. Yeah, not really, but kind of. As much enslavement as you can show in a kid's cartoon. Exactly, exactly. And that's where we get the, the recruitment of the resistance. Yep. Because they're going to go and track, you're going to track him down.

And he doesn't want nose dive at first. He just wants wild wing. Yeah. But no, no nose. No, that's got a real little brother syndrome and everybody is adding on to it. They're not doing him any favors. He's just, he's just young, arrogant, full of, you know, piss and vinegar, Brandon. And his name is Nosedive, you know, once again, you, you get what you name your kids.

Don't name your kids dumb shit, you know, yeah. Cause it's Chet and then what's, what's the, thanks. But it's Colin, right? Colin and Chet. Yeah, and they, they definitely fit the pill. The best is they're, they're going to break into the headquarters. We get another one-liner from Phil where he's like, yeah, they were going to jam his copiers.

That's the one where I was like, yeah, they're going to jam his copiers. That's the one where I was like, no kid understands that. No kid got that. It was, and then, Talk about dating yourself, you know? As, God, why do I keep forgetting his name? Conrad, not Conrad, Conard. Conard.

As Conard is describing all the other guys, Wild Wing is like, yo dude, everyone else has like, it's like Batman in the Justice League. Everyone else has a superpower and Batman is just chilling. And that's the same thing with wild wing. And so wild wings kind of doubting himself. And he's like, Hey man, you're the best goalie. You can take anything that he can throw at you.

And then, uh, wild wing hit him with a good line. I thought too. He's like, yeah, but did you know I was half chicken? Oh, I got a really good. Oh, and then, uh, see you later. Percolator. That line really cracks me up too. I don't know why that was, um, so, so they go to break in their plan gets completely disrupted there.

Uh, they get caught. The bad guys, henchmen kind of take everyone down. Uh, dragoness catches wild wing. He's about to turn him into, um, crispy duck. Oh yeah. Is this, is this when race hits us with a, the fucking sick ass one-liner? Do you have that in there? I don't think so, but, um, I got, couldn't, it couldn't interest you in a nice

pasta salad instead. When he talks about the crispy duck, but I think it's when they, when Wraith and siege pop up and they're taking down the other guys, see, he goes, let's pluck some duck. And then Wraith goes, nah, let's roast them. Yes. Fantastic. And as thisraith goes, nah, let's roast them. Yes. Fantastic. And as this is all happening,

Nosedive is bored as shit in the plane, just mashing buttons, figuring out what happens. Did you notice that? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, they left him behind. They left him behind, so of course he's gonna do it. But they do end up, Grinn takes out some of the bad guys and they're able to go rescue Wildwing just in the nick of time.

And as everything's blowing up because they set off the timer too soon, because Mallory wouldn't idiot Mallory. She accidentally pushes the button instead of flipping the switch and blows it up a little bit sooner, but Nose Dive. Tony's got to explain that a little better. Yeah. Do not hit the red button, flip the blue switch. Yeah. Something.

Cause what is she, cause she's like, well, what's, what the fuck is the difference? Yeah. I got about nine minutes. Yeah. It's, oh, it's, and so, but luckily Nose Dive comes in out of nowhere, saves him just in the nick of time. Well, so Cunard opens the little hatch to get everybody gone and there's no ship

there and he's like, God damn it. Nose dive. You fucked us. Yeah. Fuck us. And then that's when those dive pops up. That's true. That's true.

But they, it doesn't stop there, Brandon, because this is where they go ripping and they follow them into the dimensional gateway and they get attacked. Dragones unleashes the space worm on them. So the space worm is attacking the ship and Canard opens up the door and Wildwing's like, no, Canardard don't go. You can't leave us.

You're our leader. And canard, this is me just summarizing lightly, right? You're doing like a Keanu impression. Canard hands him back the mask and he says, no, wild wing. You are the next leader. Let me do this. I'm going to save the ship. No, canard.

And he jumps out and the worm starts warming him up and they close the door and then they take off out of there. And that's when they crash land on earth. Brandon. Yep. Both, both them and, uh, Drogonis crash land in not just Earth, but downtown Anaheim. Yep, yep. And you know, Dragones' forces got away, but they know they're there in Earth,

and it's only a matter of time before they start attacking. But they have the cloaking, they got the cloaking thing. Yep, which is not good. But we do have the mask, which should, you know, it help Wild Wing there. Yeah. And in the end, that's where the ducks say, you know, what, they say they got to stay here to protect

any future threats and they're going to set up a secret base underneath the, this goes into episode two, I think, but when do they go to the mall? Is that, is that the end of episode one? That's the end of episode one. Cause he's like, uh, nose dive says something about, Oh, this may not be so bad after all. Uh, because they saw them all. Oh yeah.

He sees them all and he calls it like a beacon of civilization or something like that. Yeah, exactly. And they go into the comic store and they go to the comic store and they're freaking everybody out. But then they start talking about hockey. They're like, what is?

That's in episode two, I think, if we move into episode two, when they go into the comic book store, okay. Well, one of the, uh, I forget if it's season one or episode one basically just ends with them deciding like, Hey, we're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna stay here. We're gonna find them. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. There's episode it's either, I think you're right. I think it believes in episode two, but fucking wildly exists. Some fucking stupid shit where he's like, um, we got to stay here. We got to find Draconis, but in the meantime, we need to keep playing hockey to keep our wits sharp or some shit. Yes, that was the best cause they, they're, they land there and they're like, man,

it looks like puck world. And then they see them all and they're like, Oh, a sign of advanced civilization. And, and they scare the people. And that's when they're like, wait, let's go to the comic book store. And then they make friends at the comic book store people. And then of course, wild wing, the leader, he's got the mask. We got to play hockey. We got to get sharp. And so they go to the, they're like, Hey, comic book store people, is there anywhere where we could play hockey?

And luckily enough, they just have to part the curtain and there it is, the pond. They don't even ask him. They're just talking about hockey and the comic book guy is like, oh, you guys like hockey. You want to know who else likes hockey? The sad guy in front of the pond did behind this curtain here yeah behind door number one yeah that was it was really good um arrowhead pond man

side of uh the fame the famous i should say the infamous uh iceland team usa infamous Iceland team USA junior goodwill game shootout. Remember that? He's at the at the pond. But my favorite was when Phil talks about how the lawyer missed the part of the contract where they're able to build a secret base underneath that's the arena. But do you hear what the lawyer is doing now? Okay.

He's I free. What exactly serving hot dogs. That's what happens. You cannot miss fine print in a contract that allows five space ducks to be able to build a super secret base underneath your arena. That's a tail as old as time. Brandon. There's so much contract talk in this show. It's ridiculous.

There's that. And then when in episode three, when Nosedive and Duke the Orange are fighting and Duke's like, dude, you gotta lose. It's in your contract. So Nosedive pulls out his contract and he's looking up and he's like, oh shit, it does say I need to lose. I need to get a better agent. There's so much like contract talk where like, oh shit, it does say I need to lose. I need to get a better agent. Uh, there's so much like, uh, contract talk where like, oh shit, my lawyer miss that or, oh, my agent miss that. How can we, how can we invest or, um, how can we cash in on this? Like these, he's always looking how he can make a buck on the fast food tie ins.

Dude. Yeah. Uh, like when the, when the, the honey pot comes, he saw he's, he's just, he's like, Oh, I got a new priority. Something like that. Well, the first thing he says, he walks in and he like does the Ouga or whatever. And then he's like, I can make so much money off of you. But this is the secret base under the arena.

They go out to look for Dragones, but that's where they see like some guys trying to mug a lady. And they're like, we got to stop these guys. We got to stop these guys. It's Duke. He's like, we got to save everybody. Yeah. Okay, Duke.

I don't know if that's your priorities here. So, but do you remember what they say? They take out the trash to stop the bank robbers and they say, there's a new sheriff in town and he's wearing feathers. Yeah. Yeah. I'm wearing feathers. Oh, that was, did you hear Phil call the ducks boobies? No, I didn't. He, he, Phil goes, come on boobies.

Come on. He's doing like the agent thing. I was like, Oh, it does that really? And it was what he said. And the subtitles lined up with it as well. So that was an interesting, um, but a little pervert, man. Yeah. Uh, that's, uh, they also have a one-liner is like, um, well, it looks like

Jorgana's is off the Christmas list or something like that. Oh yeah. He's a nose dive. He's like, I'm not sending these people anymore. Christmas cards or some shit. It's ridiculous. Um, but when they do, and then Drogonis has a really good line, too, where he says,

one day I'll pick my teeth with the wishbones of those meddling mallards. Meddling mallards, I was trying to remember what it was. Yeah, meddling mallards. That's a good one. Yeah, we do got to we we do need to talk about the hockey scenes. Oh, when they're, they're fighting the, not that it's not the Berserkers, but that's kind of what it, like the destroyers, I think, or something like that. Yeah. Well, there's that.

And then there's the opening scene where they're playing the main cohogs. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. And then, uh, I feel that there is an episode. It's either it was, I think it's the end of episode two when they're playing another game. Um, yeah, the hockey is, I don't know why, I guess just to give it some sort of connective tissue to the, to the movies, but like, the hockey doesn't make any fucking sense. The puck, the, the, the premise of puck world is, is insane.

I don't understand what you're talking about, Brandon. The, like what else are a handful of ducks, you know, hockey planet supposed to do when they crash land on earth. How are they supposed to keep up their energy? How are they supposed to stay sharp? Right. They got to play hockey. Well, that's the thing. It's not that they came here and learned about hockey and we're like, this is cool.

They already knew everything about hockey before they got here. The best of the best. It just so happens that we also played the same exact game. But have you heard of a little thing called coincidence, Brandon? You have no imagination. You know what I would have loved though? I would have loved a cartoon yawn

bobbing around, like giving them wisdom. Oh, yeah. I mean, we, we couldn't do Hans cause Hans passes away in D3D. Yeah. But we could do a little cartoon yawn where they're, you know, they're like, they like wander into the, like they w they could have wandered into the skate shop. That would have been sick. I don't know. I kind of like just having mangy manager Phil just out there.

Oh yeah. Well, he's still there. This is just like every, every once in a while, they like, you know, they break a skate and they got to go, Oh, let's go to the skate shop. We're going to give you a skate and there's Yon. And he drops like the most profound advice on them. Well, I think that canard and like the way that he left is supposed to be that cause wild wing thinks back at canard and that's where he gets his wisdom. Yeah. But I mean, I'm just saying Brandon, you brought it up.

I'm just, you know, just deciding. Yeah. It would have been cooler with you on the little tibbles, little tibbles running around cartoon. The little tips did the end of this episode- You're telling me you wouldn't love a cartoon tibs? I, you know I love all things tibbles, but that's basically what Phil is. Ah, wow, yeah, but Phil's more of a pervert than tibbles was.

The episode ends with the ducks being super pissed at Phil for blowing their cover. But now Phil is all in on action figures, comics, even a cartoon. And then grin is like, that feels like bad karma. Oh, how ridiculous. Yeah. The cartoon, the, the fast food Italians. Yeah. Do they still do fast food? I mean, I know they do it with like, um, with like actual dishes, like they had the good burger burger and they had the squirt, the spongebob burger or whatever. Spider-man one. Yeah. But do they do? How? What's, what's the, uh, the kids toy game looking like these days? Is it still as good as it was or is it

fallen off? McDonald's brought back the ones for adults and then, but like, I think they still have, I, every once in a while I think they have them. Remember when they did like the, the McDonald's did like the Disney collectible cups. Yeah. Those were fucking fire. I miss those. I used to have, I used to have every one. I don't know. I don't know where they are. I, I they must got lost in a move or something. Maybe they're in my dad's basement I'll check I Line King McDonald's had the sports ones too. Like I got like a Larry Johnson cup

Yeah, and it Smith Cup. I the best were like a little glass Batman returns one. Oh, yeah, we, we don't have the full set. We only got three out of the four. I love a collectible cut, man. That's my, that's my jam. Yeah, I love it. All right. Should we move to epi? Well, that pretty much ends like the, you know, the ducks, that's the first two part series. The ducks, they're on earth. They're playing hockey. They're solving crimes. Cop knows about him.

Not super jazz, but he's just got to deal with that shit. Cause then in episode three, they got to steal the proteus chip because, um, dragoness wants to use it to destroy the world. Yeah. Cause it like powers his, uh, his little cannon thing. There's a little cannon thing. Yeah. What was it called? I never caught the name. What did you call it? A proteus chip.

I missed. I didn't catch the name. Interesting proteus chip. OK. Yeah. And that but their big idea is they can't find it. They can't find the chip and where it is in the desert. They've been looking for forever. And so what they need to do- Did they explain why it was in the desert in California? I think that's just where it fell.

I think it's just like where it fell and was housed. They didn't really, I don't think- Was it something he already had and just lost or- No, they had to find it. Yeah. It was there. Interesting. Yeah.

They didn't, not a lot of, not a lot of, you know, the kids show Brandon. You're not explaining anything though. Not a lot of plot holes here. Oh my God. Well, the key is they can't find it without wild wings, X-ray vision on his hockey mask. And so they could, they could, they could, but that helps immensely. Cause he could see through the rocks. Cause they've been Brandon, did you not watch the episode? They've been looking for it for so long that drag Dragones is just like,

fuck this shit. We're what can we do? I'm tired of looking. And that's where chameleon says, well, why don't we get wild wing to find it for us with this mask? Oh, I must have missed that part. Yeah. Yeah, I probably dozed off. Yeah, that's why I asked if you watched the episode. Yeah, I only paid attention to the parts with the hot girls in it.

Well, the hot duck. Lucretia Decoy. I don't think that was her name. I don't think that was her name.? I don't think that was her name. Yes, it is. Lucretia? Yes. Lucretia.

Yes, hold on. That sounds like an STD. I don't know what to tell you. Well, it's Lucretia, not Lucretia. Well, same thing, Lucretia Decoy. I love that her decoy is in her name. It's just, yeah, it's fantastic. And so she, the, the lady that does her voice was the voice of a Lill and Phil.

Oh, that's fun. Well, a little rug rat shout out. Lucretia is known by Tanya as a double agent. I don't like the way you say it. When you say it, it definitely sounds like an STD. You're the worst. All right. So Tanya gets taken out and tied up and Nosedive and Larrange are fighting over the new honeypot.

She ties up Tanya and then throws her on top of the scoreboard. Yeah. What a place. I mean, you gotta think there's a better place to hide her, you know, yeah. Phil finds her almost instantly. But yeah, they get suckered in. She, the funniest part about this episode, I didn't take as good a notes, but the best part about the third episode was she completely betrays them. And then within seconds after betraying them, she's like, all right guys,

Hey, so damn it. I'm sorry. I, I convinced you to give them the, the proteus charm. And I really fucked up. I'm sorry. Can I, can I help you get it back? Yeah. Yeah. Uh, well, cause it isn't, they have her family or something, right? Oh, that's right.

They abducted her parents. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so she's like, can you at least help rescue my folks? Yeah. But, uh, but yeah, she was a, yeah, she was a D.C. real decoy. Yeah. Real honey pot. Yeah. But, uh, but yeah, she was a, yeah, she was a D. Coil. A real decoy. Yeah. Real honey pot.

Yeah. Uh, but the good news is, is that they thwart draconis. Oh, one. Another thing that I really liked is, um, when his henchmen get away with, uh, with the chip and she's like, Oh no, they get away and those types like, yeah, it's okay. They do that all the time. Yeah.

Just, just admitting that it's like, Hey, it's, it's okay. It's pretty much part of the show. There's a lot of that for sure. I remember cause I, I, uh, when we first did this podcast, I watched a good chunk of the animated series just to watch it. And he does that throughout the show. There's a lot of those winking things where it's like, you know, oh, don't worry, we'll get them next episode or something, that kind of shit where it's just ridiculous. I'm pretty sure he goes, uh, I'm pretty sure there's a scene in one of the, it

might be the last episode when he like talks about, um, like another season, you know, this, uh, so, I mean, that's pretty much the final thing. They thwarted, I did like her secret name was Vonda Mc Drake. Did you say it? Yeah. Like I'm Vonda Mc Drake. Yeah. The names, there's some-

This, I love 90s nostalgia more than anything, but sometimes they didn't do well. No, yeah, this, uh, loves nineties, nostalgia more than anything, but sometimes they didn't do well. No. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of, yeah. There's a day they really did not hold back in the nineties on content creation.

There's no subtlety. It's very heavy handed. Yeah. Yeah. Especially with like all the, all the duck pun names. That's what cracks it is. There's all the duck pun names. And then there's just Tanya. That's probably the joke too. They're just, you know, there's, there's like, there's a few mirrors lined up next to the coffee and there's,

hold on last Doug's name should be Tanya. That shit's hilarious. should be time yet. That shit's hilarious. I just assume every writer's room in the eighties and nineties had like mirrors with cocaine on it. Oh, there's, there's no way these people want to like hard drugs while writing this. There's no fucking way. Cause cause if you look at it from that lens, it makes complete sense. Yeah.

Oh, it's so lens. It makes complete sense. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So awesome. It's like a puck world. Getting destroyed. Yeah. I imagine, I imagine there's like a whole day just built on fucking puck world. Yeah. Just doing line after line and then just being like, dude, puck world. Okay.

Puck world. I just, I do have to say line. And then just being like, dude, puck world, puck world. I just, I do have to say though, I thought it was going to be so much worse than it actually was like it, it's, it's not good, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. It's, it's very, it's not terrible, but it's, it's, it's, it's very boring in parts. It's a very slow moving cartoon. Yeah, it's, it is. I mean, it's just so weird because like some of those cartoons like this, like

where they put, they tried to layer, you can tell where they tried to layer in jokes for the parents and stuff, right? Like they always make sure to do that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I will fill there with it's, you know, fucking boobies. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All filled there with, you know, fucking boobies. Yeah.

Anyways, I, I, the fact that the ducks, the mighty ducks became such a phenomenon that they created a cartoon based off the hockey team's mascot is something else. It's crazy. It's something else. This is just the sign of the times of just, it's like, you know what is going to be a big hit. It's, it's the old, it's, Phil speaks directly to it. Whenever he's, whenever he's talking, he's like, you know,

we've got the fast few times action figures. This is at the point in time where they were just like, if, if anything made any amount of money, they milked it to the fucking bone. They're just like, let's throw everything we have at it. Hold on. I have to read you the description of Puck World real quick. quick because so, um, so their planet of humanoid ducks dubbed puck world is an icy planet perfectly suited to the ducks. Favorite pastime hockey for citizens of puck world hockey was not simply a sport, but a way of life occupying virtually every aspect of day to day existence.

I mean, yeah. Buck world, baby. I can puck world. And then what, wait, what was the, what was the, the, the Jesus figure? What was his name again? Uh, do wait, hold on. Drake, you can drink to cane. You get that? That's a duck punting.

Right, isn't it? Isn't Drake a it's a type of duck? Yeah, I'm making sure it's Drake. Yeah, Drake is not Drake. I guess a drink is an adult male duck. It really crushed it with those. Yep. And then Tanya. And then maybe Tanya is a duck pun that I'm not aware of.

Maybe Tanya is like a Google. No, oh, she does have a lot. She does have a sick last name, though. Her last name is Vanderflock. Yeah, it is Drake Duquesne. Vanderflock. That's my grandma's maiden name is Vanda Hayden. Wow.

Very Nazi coded. What? Wow. That's very Nazi coded. What? That's just, we're just a German, German, German family. Yeah. When, when did they leave Germany? Long before the war brand. And the grandpa was going to serve, but he got his grandpa, I got his thumb blown

off in basics when a mortar fell off the tip of the artillery. Who was he going to serve for? The U S. Just asking. Just ask. Family's been in the Nebraska, Northeast Nebraska, Northwest Iowa region. Interesting. Southeast South Dakota.

Yeah. Is that okay with you Brandon? I guess I'll take your word for it. No one's going to give a shit about this part of the podcast, but I need to yell at you for a second. Cause you know who's picked up. For what? Well, I have real beef with you for a second.

That's my short Z impression. Did you like that? Yeah. For what? Everything you do is shit because, because do you know who was picked up on the Heath being from Iowa? Kelly, Kelly, my partner, my life partner has started telling fucking people that I'm from Iowa.

Perfect. I love it. It's not funny, Brandon. As it is, cause now it's true. The stupid story because she thinks it's funny for me to tell the Leslie Nope story and like she's like, ha ha ha. Like she thinks it's hilarious. Oh, it's so funny.

And it all came from your fucking ass. And I just, I hope you're happy with yourself, Brandon. Nobody, nobody to blame but yourself. He's, you know, it's, it's only funny because you care so much. You know what the funniest part about it is, you Brandon, is that she asked my sister about it. She's like, hey Heath, I heard this. And my sister's like, oh yeah, it's. Where was your sister?

Was your sister born in Iowa too? No, my sister was born in Wayne, but the reason I had to go to Iowa was because the doctor was out on vacation and Mama Dee didn't like the backup. And so Big Mike was, he loves that story. He's going 20 over with the flashers going, just hauling ass to the hospital. Cat Jessie, are you serious, dude?

20 over is hauling ass? Well, I mean, it's... Why's he got the blinkers on? Because it's an emergency! Just fucking go. You put the blinkers on so that the cops will be like, Oh, and then they give you the escort. At least they did back in the day.

Cat Jessie is like all up in the microphone right now, too. He's on a diet. My God, you couldn't ask for a fucking more piece of shit like cat right now than cat Jesse on a diet. He will just make everyone's life as miserable as humanly possible because he's hungry. He'll mess with me. He'll mess with the dogs. He'll just, he'll do anything to create chaos to get his food bowl filled Anyways, I just want to yell at you for that for like to the point where Kelly asked my family

Story as to why that happened, it's your fault. Anyways Mighty ducks the animated series Brandon. I thought it was kind of good. And, you know, like if I was forced to watch like Sunday morning cartoons from the 90s, I would pull this up. Like, have you watched any of the other weird ones like Cops or Street Sharks or that weird Zelda one? Or do you remember like the old Mario one or Sonic the Hedgehog? I used to love those. Some of those aren't very good. I used to love Street Sharks.

I have a lot. I haven't gotten to rewatch it. It's on the peacock. Oh, is it? Okay. It's on peacock. I just saw it because I was looking at X-Men 97 was really good. It's the original X-Men is real good too, but I haven't gone.

This one's these first three episodes were solid. I feel like they were good. Once we delve into the middle of this season. This one's the, these first three episodes were solid. I feel like they were good. Once, once we delve into the middle of this season, I feel like it's going to be a real slog, you know, like episodes like 10 through 12 are going to be real rough. It's, oh yeah. Like this is, like you said, the, the first two episodes were kind of built like a movie or like a short movie. And so like they're pretty well done.

And so, yeah, there's only a matter of time. I mean, even the original turtles cartoon did not take long before they've got dimension X and they've got space, whatever, and Bayou frogs and shit. You know what I mean? Like it, captain planet goes off the deep end pretty quick too with some of their characters. Like it's, I mean, the street sharks, the first episode, their dad, like tries to like, you know,

they like save their dad and like an evil scientist is like, all right, you guys, like all you brothers, we're going to test this stuff on you because I took out your dad and they turned them into street sharks. Um, it's chaos, but this wasn't, this isn't bad. Anyways. All right. Well, you know, my deducts the animated series thrown on for the kids on, on Saturday or Sunday mornings before the, before the games. You know, and this was, this was the first three episodes. Next episode, we'll do four through six.

We'll do four, five and six tackle those. Come on out. Great. What a journey. So So you