The Cake Eaters - 104. The Animated Series: Episodes 4-6

Episode Date: February 25, 2025

Heath and Brandon continue their dive into Mighty Ducks The Animated Series. Today's episode covers episodes four through six. The boys talk through Cat Jesse's diet and other pet stories, Tai Quack Do, gay bars, the 2025 Royal Rumble, and action figures.Follow us on Instagram @thecakeeaterspodEmail us at [e-mail]

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Time to rock and roll. Brandon, let's rock and roll with the animated series, brother. Imagine if they had a- Let's go! Ducks rock! Imagine if they had a Hulk Hogan character in this. That would've really topped it off. So then they might get me, right?

There's no hook, Brandon. There's no hook in this show. This stretch was rough. This was a lot of nonsense, was zero personality. So they haven't done any character building, right? Like there's just, I feel like there's been like minimal to none character building. You could build cartoon characters, characters, right? Like, you know what this made me think of though, Brandon? Like this is like just a cart, like they had a million of these cartoons, right?

Remember the Vidal Juice cartoon, uh, men in black. I just found randomly like when, when the fuck did they have a men in black cartoon, right? But like they made a million of these cartoons, but you know what made this made me think of just watching these episodes. I was like, okay, this isn't bad, but it's not good. And I can see why it got canceled after a season. But like the one cartoon that I feel like

could have done well in the 80s and 90s, except for some of the later seasons, and will hold up for forever is Adventure Time. I've never watched Adventure Time. Oh, you're missing out. It's a fantastic kids cartoon. It's one of my favorite kids shows. Kelly and I would just watch it all the time.

That and Gravity Falls. Gravity Falls is also, those two seasons of Gravity Falls are so good. That was good. It is so incredibly well written. It's unbelievable. Gravity Falls was good. It's so incredibly well written. It's unbelievable Gravity Falls was good. There was another one Early like early like mid like mid-2000s that I think they might have brought back

Regular show. No, it was on the Cartoon Network Total Drama Island, did you ever watch that? No, I did not. It was like a, it was a cartoon where they were like spoofing reality shows. Oh my God. It was pretty good though. That was a solid one. Total Drama Island. I think they brought it back not too long ago. I mean, it sounds, it sounds fantastic. But, but yeah, that's all it made me think of was like, what are some of my favorite cartoons? Cause some like old cartoons are good.

Some are like good, but not good. You know, like I think I talked about the old cops cartoon, um, the, the street sharks, right? Like street sharks. Yeah. Um, my gargoyles, the X-Men cartoon, mighty max had a cartoon. Do you remember that? X, X-Men is the only one that really holds up.

Um, and that's probably just my nostalgia. A hundred percent. Sorry, Kat Jess, he's on a diet and he's on diet food. And I feel like you say this every, every time you're like Kat, Jesse's on a diet as if it's new information. This time we took him to a vet and he is on a prescripted diet. And so he has prescription. Is he, is he, is he on Ozepik? No, dude, he's not a celebrity. Are you

shitting me, dude? But no, he's on diet food. And the way I explained it to my parents, I was like, it's like going from pizza rolls to salad. Are you shitting me, dude? Come on. Walked right over the keyboard. Dude, pizza rolls to salad. Are you shitting me, dude? Come on. Walked right over the keyboard. Dude, pizza rolls to salad is a tough transition. Right. And that's how I explained it to my parents. And so he's just making everyone's lives miserable. Like, he'll just like get in these moods all of a sudden. Where he's like, you know what? Fuck all of you. I'm super hungry. I'm

gonna get in your face. I'm gonna get in the dog's face and fuck with him. He's just, um, you know, he'll figure it out though. He'll get there. It gets angry. I get it. I do too. I'm not mad at him about it. It just is annoying as all get out. But anyways, all right. What were you talking about before Kat, Jesse started fucking with me? I was saying X X-Men is really the only one that kind of holds up. And I feel like that's probably just my nostalgia. I doubt it holds up

I just think it holds up because I'm blinded by nostalgia Yeah, I mean and and like did Heidi like the old Scooby-Doo cartoons like those were all great Scooby-Doo probably holds up. I don't watch the Scooby-Doo in a while though. Those I Threw some on Halloween one time. I was just, you know, had the mind right. And I was like, you know what, dude, it's Halloween. And I don't want to, you know, I don't like scary movies. And so I wanted to watch something Halloweeny. And so I'd already watched the live action movies.

And so I was like, fuck it. Let's just rip these cartoons. Casey Kasem as Shaggy. Come on. It was so good. It was, it was, and like my sister and I watched like all the unhinged ones, like Muppet Babies, Flintstone Babies. There was this like stretch where they just turned

the cartoons into babies. Yeah. Looney Tune Kids. Do you remember that show? Yeah. Or Tiny Tunes, sorry. Tiny Tune Adventures are something fun. Anyways, I could think of the theme song if I thought hard enough.

Anyways, we can talk about these episodes. They're interesting. The first one... There's a couple of... I liked episode six. So I liked episode six where they turned. With Stanley Straszynski? Yeah, when they turned Stanley Straszynski into the monster.

Do you remember what he leads the league in, Heath? No. He leads the league in penalties for tripping, slashing, high sticking, and ref clobbering. There's nothing worse than getting hit with some ref clobbering penalties. So we won't we won't we'll start. There was only episode six was definitely the best one out of the bunch. I need I need a I I need a whole movie on Taekwondo, though.

I need I need more of that. That was that was the best part of the entire thing. I was like, and I need more. When his sensei deck was calling him Ice Hopper, instead of Graz, I got a real, I went, ah! I got a good chuckle when he's doing the flashback. What's the duck guy? What's the mean the big guy's name? I forget. Oh, my grunk. No, sorry. Oh, my God. Not. But the big one. I've got all the characters. Where did he go? I just had all the characters

pulled up. This is bullshit. But he's doing his little flashback, right? And he's like, when he's telling them how he's great. Yeah. So he's doing his flashback, telling the story of Taekwondo. And at the beginning, he goes, I was I was a what is this? He says something like I was born from a hard boiled egg. And he's trying to describe how he used to be a dick. He's like, I was born from a hard boiled egg. That got a good laugh out of me, a hard boiled egg. It was...

It's good stuff. And then I do love, the other thing I love though is in every episode, he does... What's his name? Dragones. is in every episode he does. What's his name? Dragoness. He drops a mallard line. Like in episode five, he calls them the miserable mallards. In episode six, they're the medley mallards. That's a good little I love when he drops that. Yeah, there's some there's some good play on words with the Oh, the other one was foul friends. That was a good word.

Yeah. Oh, and then he, uh, the other thing I got to pick, he drops in episode five. We're gonna, I'm just going to bounce around here in episode five. Uh, Brynn, the grid dude, he drops the same fucking line. The pain is a loop is an illusion line. He, that was from episode one. He drops the same exact line again. He also loves talking about how the bad guys throw him off his center.

Yeah. Well, he loves talking about that. That's that Taekwondo shit, bro. Very meta. Sorry, I had to put eye drops in. I really do need to, I think we need to work that into our, um, our proposed like spin-offs is I need a tight quack dose spin-off. Oh, that's, that is, uh, in power play. That's episode six with his, his master's lessons, um, that he asked to recall because that, that goon he's going to help that goon find his center. because that goon, he's got to help that goon find his center. You know, it's good stuff.

So let's talk about episode four. Just, we can talk about it super quick because we talked about this slightly offline, but like it is an episode called it's episode four Zap Attack. And he creates a little energy creature that starts unleashing havoc. And when the little energy creature attacks him on the ice, they replicate. Yeah. Once you hit them. They're like little gremlins.

Oh my God. That's exactly what I wrote down. I was like, oh, so they're little electricity gremlins. Nice. This is a tale as old as time. I swear to God, I saw this in Ninja Turtles not that long ago because I've been rewatching like the original cartoons every once in a while. Did I use my Amazon promotional electronic credits? Most unhinged shit. It's really good stuff.

Um, looking through my purchases on Amazon would tell a tale of deep, um, you know, mental problems. Let's just say that. Oh, okay. You look through that and you're like, is this guy okay? Why is he watching the Gnome Mobile? The answer to that question is no. It's always been no.

But also that movie was so good. We recorded it on TV one time before Disney started scrubbing their stuff and they just relentlessly played it. And I just remember it so vividly for my childhood that like when I pulled it up my sister was like, Oh my God, the no mobile. Where did you find this? And then we watched it. We had a good time. That and the purple people either. Do you remember that movie with a young Neil Patrick Harris?

Do you remember that movie with a young Neil Patrick Harris? No. Unhinged made for TV movie. I found it on DVD and I sent it to my parents' house as a surprise when we got back home because we recorded this made for TV movie. And I was like, hey guys, I got a surprise for let's do a movie night. And I pulled it up and my parents were like, oh my God, stop. No, cause it has a catchy song. And so my sister and I would watch it

and then we would just be bopping around the house. I had a one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people leader. One-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people leader. Little Richard was the judge of the music contest that Purple sang in. Maybe I do remember that. Little Richard was the, like, was the judge of the music contest that purple. Oh, maybe I do remember that. Dude, it was like Neil Patrick Harris, Doogie Howser, just. I've never been a Neil Patrick Harris fan.

There's, there's some other person in this movie, I think, too. But anyways, I don't know how I started talking about this. I, there's going to be a lot of weird side tangents because I, I had to watch these twice Brandon because I watched them twice. So I watched them yesterday and I don't know if I just blacked out during, I woke up this morning and I was like, I don't fucking remember anything from these episodes. Like, I don't know if I just blacked out during it or like started daydreaming. Like, and just, you know, I don't know. It just, I, cause I was watching them, but I must've started a doom scroll and not even

realized what I was doing. You know, I did that. Then we're like, right. I did that a couple of times where I started doom scrolling and then I looked up and I was like, Oh fuck, I were like an episode and a half past where I lost his paying attention. I gotta go back. Um, but I definitely did not watch him twice. Yeah.

I just, I had to do another go through with them in the background while I was doing some fee thing this morning. Yeah. That's yeah. But, uh, but yeah, zap attack, they little, little, uh, electric. I have a note here before we get too far into the episode. The first note I have, because it starts off with them. The episode starts off with them hopping in all their spaceship

and leaving the headquarters. I don't think we talked about the secret base enough. The last episode that's under the fucking ice rank. It's sick. It's so huge. It's a dude. Brandon, you don't know shit about underground secret bases, dude. This is the foundation.

I don't. This is the foundation of so many comic books, dude. If Krang can have the techno drone deep within the Earth's crust. They can have a fucking secret base. This is definitely deep in the Earth's crust. And there's like multiple entrances and exits. There's one that like is under a billboard. It's fantastic.

And they show up with a boat halfway through this episode. Where did we get a boat? Brandon, I cannot believe you're talking shit about the fucking duck mass speed boat. That was so sick. Like all I could think of is like, my God, whoever was making the toys for this show, if they didn't make those toys, they fucked up. This show was a thousand percent driven by,

I'm pretty sure they made all the toys before they made the fucking cartoon. That happened a lot. Actually that happened a lot. Like Mattel would just rip shows. I'm a hundred percent serious. I think they made all the toys before the show. And then they just, they were like, Oh fuck, we got to find an episode for this boat guys. We made a boat. Dude, that boat is sick. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles got like that towards the end. And I was the sucker for every single like special character that come out.

Like my God. Oh, I used to, I used to, I had all, I had all these fucking Mighty Ducks toys. Oh, I had, I had wild wing. I had a, I don't, I don't think I had the boat, but I had, I had, I had all the, the, the characters for sure. Oh my God. I would use it to compete in wrestling matches. You know, nice.

Oh, well, wild wings six time under continental champion. That's so good. I, um, I, I had these swamp thing, toys that were like the perfect size for my WCW characters. And so the swamp thing tag team was a mainstay for bad guys. Like they were in a lot of squash matches, but like competitive squash matches. One thing I loved, and they used, they've done it a couple of times with like big groups, but they need to bring it back. They did it a couple of times with new day, the new day, but I had a power Rangers tag team and you just, I would just swap out the, you just constant rotation of all the power Rangers. You just swap two of them out, two of them in, you know,

and they keep moving. That's the thing we need to bring back in tag team wrestling is the big group that you just swap team swap members out, but you're still, you're still the champ. Yeah. I forget what they call it now. Cause my brain is just rotting. Yeah. But yeah, they did it. They did it.

They did it a few times with the, with the new day when they, with the three of them, when they were rotating in and out, but they need to make a, we need a, we need that back. The tag team division got a little love at the Royal Rumble. Did you watch the Royal Rumble? So I fucking, this is going to date the podcast, but I fucking love Motor City machine. It's Chris Saban is one of my all time favorite wrestlers. I fucking love Chris Saban.

We were the Kelly loves the Royal Rumble. Oh yeah. Your Royal Rumble is Kelly. Kelly loves the Royal Rumble. Um, we saw Motor City machine guns here in Denver when, um, NXT they were at NXT, I went and saw my boy Joe Hendry. Let's go. Say his name and he appears Brandon. You know what's the most embarrassing thing

about what happened to my Spotify rap is that was number two. His theme song was number two, dude. It is such a banger. It's catchy, dude, it's catchy. Oh, I love from London and Paris and Tokyo, America, Scotland and Canada and Mexico. Say it Brandon. I believe in Joe Hendry. Oh, we didn't we that was disappointing. You're such a

clapped. No, you, you clap. Your second clap got drowned out. It didn't, it didn't register. Oh, damn. Clap, clap. Yeah. It's so good though. Oh my God.

Anyways, anyways. But yeah, Chris, I love Chris Saban. Alex Shelley is pretty cool, but they're like that. The original like Motor City machine gun TNA run, top notch dude. Yeah, it's the the rumble. Twenty twenty five rumble was good this year. It was good. We don't have to go into it, but I I enjoyed it.

I know the final got a lot of hate, but I love. I think they did it. I think they did. I mean, nobody else like John Cena doesn't you know, he doesn't need a Royal Rumble win. Agree. You're doing they're doing Reigns Rollins at WrestleMania. So neither of them needs to win. Yeah.

The only one that I maybe should have won was Punk, but you don't you don't again, you don't need the rumble for to work him into the Cody Rhodes thing. You know, you just, you can have him win the elimination chamber. You don't even need to have him win anything. You just fucking put him in the match. Yeah, that's very true. And I, I thought that they did the right thing where it's like, if punk wins, everyone bitches, it's like, oh, saw it coming.

Like no one saw this coming. And it was like when Shinsuke Nakamura won. Yeah. You know, it does similar to that, where it was like, oh shit, Shinsuke won? Yeah. Royal Rumble? This is crazy. Yeah, they did Shinsuke dirty on that one, though. Yeah.

But this, so Jay gets Jay gets the boost and he's fucking over. The whole stadium was doing the fucking thing. That was insane. That's what I said. Like when I was like, can we look at that stadium? I was like that dude, anyone saying that that dude is not over enough to win is fucking stupid. Yeah.

And this, this gives them the easy way out with Gunther. Cause now you just do Jay Gunther and you don't have to like make up a storyline for anybody else, you know? Yeah. Um, so it's the easy way out that way. But, um, what was it you know, yeah. So it's the easy way out that way. But what was it? Oh, the like, you know, dirt sheet scuttlebutt that I was here in beforehand. Did you hear the theory that people were positing? They were I forget it obviously definitely not true. And it wasn't, um,

I don't know how popular it got, but there was a theory out there that they were going to be a surprise 31 entry and it was going to be the rock. And he was going to, Oh, that would have been crazy. Wait, did you see with the last Royal rumble thing, did you see Penta blackout and forget that his fucking feet can't touch the ground? I'd have to go back and look at that, but I'm pretty sure only one hit only one hit. I don't know. I could have swore like in real time. I was

like, oh shit. What do they do? Yeah. Like when it happened, I like I saw it instantly. I thought it was over. You just keep it moving. They said they they're like, one, one. Oh, so you just keep it moving and don't show the replay. That's exactly what they did. Yeah, which I guess probably means both hit if they didn't show the replay. If only one hit, they probably would have. But you just keep it, because I mean, there was, I forget what year it was,

but there was a Royal Rumble where Rock had, he got, he, he's two feet clearly hit and he still won the fucking thing. They just, you just move past it and ignore it, you know? Anyways, that was, that was a fun spot though. And the women's rumble while Charlotte Flair winning was a little boring. I thought they still put on a good show. It was a little boring, but who else are you in a all everybody likes to talk about all the young NXT girls, but you can't have any of them win. No, they're not ready yet. They can't main event WrestleMania.

No, no, no, no one. That's a, that's why it's like, okay, Charlotte Flair, but it's like, who helps? Yeah. Like there's, do you want Nia Jax in there? I don't know. No, I mean, it, because you don you would, do you want Naya Jax in there? I don't. No, no. I mean, it, because you don't need to, cause the Naya Jax Tiffany Stratton storyline writes itself. Well, are you gonna, are you,

are you gonna run back Charlotte and Rhea though, for a third time? That's true. Yeah. Is it my, is there a bunny match? Is it like that? That's, I don't know. It's, it'll be, that'd be interesting. We can, we can get back into the Ducks series,

but I enjoyed the rumble. I thought it was a good time. I thought the ladder match, dude, I, my favorite new theory is Cody Rhodes turning into Homelander and becoming, like that is one of my new favorite, like dirt sheet theories. And that was running rampant last night because of the way he finished the match with, with Kevin Owens. But that's my favorite is like, like someone was like, no, look at everything he's done. Cody has been a heel the whole time. We are just cheering for the heel.

And, and now I think, I don't know, it's just my favorite thinking about Cody Rhodes being homeland. Or my favorite though, was Kevin Owens t-shirt making fun of Cody. But the one, the Canadian dream, son of a security systems technician. Is that what it is? So that was genius. And then when he wore the Stardust, when he wore the Stardust shirt, that was,

what was the other shirt? Who's the suck eggs, right? Is that shirt that was what was the other shirt? Who was the suck eggs? Right. Is that was the was that the other one? Yeah, that was great, too. I love Kevin Ellis is amazing. I love that. A lot of match that was crazy. There were so many times like that, that one spot where

they had the like the ladder set up on the rope and in between the other ladder where there was two or three instances where they just missed killing each other. There was definitely three of those. Yeah, there are three instances that stand out to me where I actually went, oh shit. Yeah, like thinking they were going to have to like end it. Yeah.

Because of the way that they just fucking threw each other on those ladders. It was like that little suplex that that looked bad. Look, anyway, the ending, that fucking spot was crazy too, though, with him just fucking crunched up in the. Just hold it up. Yeah. There's a homelander, Cody Rhodes. That's my it up. Yeah. Dude, homelander Cody Rhodes. That's my new favorite fan theory.

I hope to God they do it. It makes, I mean, it would make sense if they, if he, if he, if he fights Sina, you know, yeah. Or if they build it up in like Romans is, you know, super over as like a face. And then Cody turns heel to, you know, you either die the hero or you live long enough to become the villain Brandon. And this is his villain arc, just like me. Do you think that works the other way too? You either die the villain, long enough to become the hero. I think that's what's happening. That's what's happening with Roman, you know?

It's very true. I guess. All right, anyways, let's hear it. Like, there's so little to talk about with these part two shows we just spent like 10 minutes on the little rumble. We're gonna, for the three people that are still listening to this show, we're gonna. Dude, some people, we gotta do more Dawson's, that's for sure, cause the people love Dawson's.

And I can't wait for it to get into season two. Anyways, keep going. Sorry. I was just gonna say, we're gonna, we're gonna power through the rest of this animated series. It is little episodes as possible because it's, it's gonna, it's gonna get rough. Especially this middle stretch is going to be real rough. Yeah. And you're going to get a lot of side tangents. We miscalculated the number, right? Like, we're like, Oh, let's do three.

And then it's like, okay, we don't know enough to fucking talk about it. Three episodes. It's, it's very standard cartoon, like script, pacing, how they go about it. Who's that? It was just Josie. Was that Josie? She was looking real rough. I was like, for a second there, I was like, is that a fucking like stray dog?

For the listeners, Josie just stood up from her nap, mid nap, um, panting very heavily. And Josie now looks like a stray dog that might've been run over a little bit, like in her old age, like she, her blood, like when she gives you, like looks at you with her dead eye, she is a little scary. You know, she'll just like turn her head and she's got her eye that's completely blank from her cataracts. And then she does like the tongue thing

because she's missing most of her teeth. So she'll just like do like a little like tongue, like lick at you, like. And she's on three different heart medicines. Oh heart medicine and a shot in the hip. And she just looks as beat up and spit out as you can imagine. The 13 year old, how many is good, but she's doing so good. Like we go, she walks more than she ever has. It's just, you know, sometimes in the middle of zoom meetings at work,

I'll have to pause them because she'll start making some weird noises. I'm like, fuck dude, is this it? You know, like, yeah, I had a vet assistant that was like talking to me about how he just found out his dog had the same issue Josie had. And he was like, no, we might have a month or two. I was like, well, Josie's been on this medicine for well over a year and she has a fucking spring chicken. So don't, you know, yeah, don't write the, you know, write the funeral speech for your dog just yet, buddy, because you know, this whole, this whole thing. But anyway, sorry for the listeners, but yeah, just continuing at a spite, you know, it is going to take everything this world has to throw it.

Just Josie to take her down. She ate an entire Walmart chicken carcass from from tail to tip and. Somehow and also ate a pair of my glasses. Somehow she ate my glasses. Glasses like it was like I took her her to the vet because I was like, how, they're like, somehow she passed all the tiny shards of glass with no impact to her bowel or anything. And I mean, dude, the shit that she has done

with the amount of money I've spent on vets to be like, yeah, you were smart for bringing her here because that's insane, But somehow she is good. She's good. Did I ever tell you about the, uh, the vet trip? It was like, maybe I had flapjack for maybe like four, three or four months at that point. Um, the vet trip I took him to where it was during the pandemic too.

Cause I got flapjack, um, like a month before, well, no, I got, he wasn't supposed to be. I got him a month before COVID hit. Um, I had signed up for all the, I was like, I'm going to do this the right fucking way. I signed up for like four puppy training classes. They all got canceled. Didn't do, didn't get, wasn't able to do a single fucking one. That's why he's a fucking sociopath. But I had him for like three or four months.

We were living on the 17th floor of the Atlanta apartment, right? So like fucking potty training was a nightmare, like taking them down the elevator or whatever. But there was this one time, it was like, I was taking them for like the last potty break before bedtime or whatever. So it's like fucking nine o'clock at night or whatever. We're going down, we get in the elevator and it's in the middle of the pandemic. So everybody's like got masks and gloves

and all that kind of shit. So we get in the elevator and somebody had just taken off their gloves and thrown them in the corner of the elevator. So we get in the elevator and he makes a fucking beeline for the gloves, grabs them and swallows them before I can wrestle them away from him. And so I was like, fuck.

I was like, fuck, what do I do? So I called the vet and I was like, so he swallowed at least one, I'm pretty sure there's two, but it was at least one latex glove. Do I need to bring him in? And they were like, you don't need need to he should be able to pass that kind of okay, but like, bring him in just to be safe. Yeah. And I was like, Okay, yeah, I'll bring him in. So it's like fucking like 10 o'clock at night at this point, I'm driving him to the

the fucking event. It's pandemic. So I have to I have to sit in my car in the parking lot while they take him. Yeah. But so they they come to grab them, they like force him to throw up and they come back to me. I'm like in my car and I can see the lady come out, like I'm looking at my rear view mirror at the front door and I could see the lady come out and she's carrying like a bin, like you know, like those, like a big gray bin, like in like science class or whatever you know what I'm talking about. She's carrying one of those, or like a dish bin for like a restaurant or whatever. She's like carrying one of those, walking to my car and she gets to the window and she goes,

so we made them throw up. We found the glove. We got the gloves. There were two gloves. There was also three socks. And then she listed like fucking seven things that was in his stomach. There was like socks, there was a, fuck I forget what exactly else there was, like socks, like a whole bunch of fucking lint. Like there was like just, he was like a fucking dumpster. She was like, and she had it all in the bin too. She was like, this is everything we got out of his stomach.

And it was like somebody fucking, like he ate a whole trash can. And I was like, Oh my God. I didn't like, I didn't, when did he get any of that? You know, that's really good stuff. And I looked like a fucking just like the worst dog. Yeah. Lunatic dog owner. I'm just like, Hey, so you got a puppy and it is a

fucking trash grandma. You're doing fucking nothing, dude. Get your shit together. Watching her like come back with the bin full of shit. It's like burned into my brain. I'm never gonna forget that. I was like, Oh, God damn it. Oh, that's, that's so good. Um, my favorite is the, this is my last thing. My Jenkins has really been on this kick of pooping in the middle of the street, or we don't, not the street, but like the, the drive for our apartment.

And so there's been a couple of times where people have had to just sit and wait for my dog who chose the exact middle of the fucking road. Not the grass that is everywhere around us, but he loves waiting for this strip of road, and he just hangs out right in the middle. And people just, and I have to do the embarrass, I'm so sorry, you kind of malign sorry. He never does this.

He never does this. Honestly, he does it all the time. It's what made him such a great city dog. Like in Seattle, there are times where this pays off, right? Like in Seattle, that was awesome, dude. Like to take Jenkins on a walk in Seattle was such a breeze. He would just poop anywhere.

Yeah. Like you don't have to find grass. It was fine. But anyways, anyways, we'll get back to the episode, but that's my, that's my funny thing that Jenkins has been doing where it's just like recently for some, like he's been doing it for a very long time, but recently we've just been catching traffic. Um, yeah. Anyways, right.

He's like waiting for the cars to go. I swear to God. He's like, all right, so this person is obviously going to be backing out of their spot within the next minute. And I'm going to do it right in front of their car, behind their car. So that my big ass owner is just stuck being like, I'm so sorry. I'm probably late for work. I'm so sorry. Anyways. All right. All right. Back to it. Let's do these last two episodes. We can wrap it up.

We'll just do like, we didn't talk about. What were we talking about? I see. We didn't talk about episode four at all. Let's just. Yeah. So we did the little Gremlin guys. Fucking Tanya has this super secret best friend and she won't she won't shut up about his fucking island that he has. She brings it up every chance she gets. Oh no, I do have to say, someone had a quote, and I forget who it was, I forgot to write it down, but they said, how are we gonna handle these killer kilowatts?

Oh yeah, the fucking, I loved the- Ooh man, they went like 1950s Batman, you know, like the live action, like jumping Jehoshaphat's Batman. I did love when they're buying the squirt guns, all the names of the squirt guns. My favorite. Oh my God. The squirt guns was fantastic. The super squirt or 2000. That's what I, that's what I called my college girlfriend. I almost, I, I bit the end of my tongue because I almost made a mom joke. Like a mom joke. I almost, you, I bit the end of my tongue.

Cause I almost made a mom joke. Like a mom joke. I almost, I almost said, isn't that what they call your mom? And I was like, oh, she's dead. He's I know that's why I should have just let it rip. I just need to be like that needs to be our new thing where I'm just horribly callous, but like my like corporate America brain was like, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, let's let's pop. Those are thoughts we hold in buddy. Those are,

those are those are the thoughts we hold in. Yeah. Let those intrusive thoughts win up making a sexual reference about Brandon's dead mom. But you know what? I just, I should have just done it because. Yeah. Hold the trigger, man. I should, that's, yeah. Yeah. That's, I would take it, but anyways, they,

the killer kilowatts and they are taking over everything because they start to take them out with the squirt guns, but then they get into the equipment. It's very, very Transformers ask where they take over the big, like the bulldozers and the backhoes and all those things. Um, and they start attacking. Um, and yeah, you know, they, they eventually take out the killer kilowatts and my favorite part is they're driving their ship

and like a last one pops out and they're like, oh shit, again, this is like the fourth time this episode, we've thought we've defeated these guys. But then they say- Nosedive says, oh shoot, the show is becoming a rerun of itself. Yeah, that was a good line. That was a good line.

It's becoming a rerun of itself. Yeah, that was a good line. That was a good line. It's, it's becoming a rerun of itself. Um, but they, but, um, I forget which one it is. It's like the, the, it's a Duke low orange, right? Yeah. Yup. You're right. Duke law orange. He sends them through the walkie talkie back to dragoness and boom, that little thing starts wreaking some havoc. And then scene. But one thing, the last thing I want to talk about for this episode is, so the reason the dude is on the island, Tanya's friend, is because he lost faith in humanity. He shut himself off. He's hiding away on his island.

Very Brandon-esque. Yes. Oh, dude. So jealous. But so then he comes back, he helps them, uh, with his little magnet thing. And then he's like leaving and they're like, Oh, you're going back to your island. I thought we helped you restore your faith in humanity. And he goes in humanity. No, you just helped me restore my faith in ducks. I wrote that down. Actually.

That was a good line. I think I wrote it down. Excuse me. Yeah. Well, I was super think I wrote it down. Excuse me, yeah. Well, I was super jealous of his eyes. What faith in humanity? You restored my faith in ducks. That was a good, that was a good final line. Yeah.

I don't know if it was the final line, but it was a good thing. Well, it was. It's his final line, and then he walks off into the sunset. I do wanna know what broke his faith in ducks. How you know, I understand is breaking losing faith in humanity, but the ducks too.

Yeah, he must have had an awkward pond incident somewhere, right? I guess I know. Oh, the last thing about this episode. Sorry, I've said that like four times. But the last thing about this episode is they do have a hockey game at the beginning. Did you catch what team they're playing? Cause this is one of our cat, this is what keiki categories he's got to pay attention to team names, dude. Oh, I was not paying attention to the game they were playing before this. They were playing the Hoboken flamingos. Oh, love that.

Are there a lot of flamingos in Hoboken? Yeah. Why not? Probably long flamingos. Oh, okay. Okay. That would be a great logo too. Like not like an actual flamingo, but like a long flamingo. That's a good shit right there. There's a lot of jerseys you could sell. I would buy one for you. Absolutely. All right, so I would buy one for sure. Absolutely. All right, so episode five wasn't bad. I mean, it was bad, but like episode five's plot line wasn't terrible. Fill in the blank.

Fill in the blank where Bill gets mind controlled by Dragones and they use all of the ducks' publicity appearances that Phil has. And that my favorite is Phil is basically, uh, the dude that managed Elvis. Right? Like I forget his name, but it's just making him do all the, like where he, remember like he made him do a thousand of the shittiest, most hokey movies. These, the reason there was Elvis on everything because he was a former,

like basically ran a circus, right? Like a traveling circus. And so he treated Elvis like his traveling circus. And that is the only thing I could think of when I think of Phil, because that's like all the shit that he's having him do. Like all the crazy publicity, most random things, like where they're doing like extreme sports in a blizzard on a mountain.

You're talking about the reckless behavior show. Oh, this is ridiculous. It was, and my favorite was that the passcode for him to turn on Phil was like he would, he would met, which this also is a shtick from a thousand different, um, cartoons from the nineties and late eighties where someone from the team gets mind controlled by the bad guys. Uh, but it was roast duck. They would call him as like roast duck.

Yes, Lord, drug on us or however they say it. Is it dragoness, draconis, draconis, draconis? I think it's how they say it. Is it Draganis, Dragoanis, Dragoanis? Dragoanis I think is how they say it. But I loved at the end of the episode when they call him again, after he's like figured it out and like came up, it was the bandana that like stopped it or something. Yeah.

So he's wearing it and they call him and they're like roast duck. He's like, that's not gonna work anymore. And he goes, oh no, no, no, I was ordering a takeout. Chameleon. When he comes in, get you some, um, it was, it was an interesting episode, I guess, right? But that was the one where, um, no, no, that, um, I, I did like when they

were doing the extreme sports, so that was fun. And like nose dive is like, who would be dumb enough to do this? And nose dive is like on the hang glider, like, all right. I mean, yeah, I crashed it. And then he crashes it into the mountain and then he falls fucking God knows how far. But I did love after he knows the snow catches your fall. Yeah. But after that, after he falls and they're like tending to him, uh, in the

ship or whatever and a wild wing is like, is he doing okay? How's he doing? Is he, is he good? And chunky goes, well, that just depends on how much he likes concussions. I miss that. That's, that's, uh, man, back when, you know, we used to really joke about CTE, that's like, have you seen the, like the old intros into like the football? It is like, they're like, this is the intro to Monday night football in 1993.

And it's like, it's just a hundred targeting penalties. It's all it is. It's like, oh my God, that's just a whole bunch of penalties. It's really good shit. And we were just like, this is normal, you know, and then we would do it as kids. And everyone was like, these kids will be fine. Yeah. I forget who it was, but there was like, um, it was a it was an old football player. And he was on a podcast, whatever. And they were asking him, like, would you ever

let your um, they're like, ask me if you let your kids play or whatever. He's like, No, no, no. And then he started talking about the concussions. And he was like, fuck, who was it? I forget. But they were, he was talking to somebody after like, after he had retired, he was talking to a doctor after he retired and they were like, so how many concussions have you had? And he was like, oh, I've maybe one, one or two. And then they described what a concussion was. And he was like, oh shit, that was like every play. And he was like, Oh shit.

That was like every play a thousand. Yeah. Uh, man, uh, speaking of concussions and CTE, that is actually a perfect transition to our next episode. Stanley. I keep wanting to call him Stanley yell nuts. Um, but that's incorrect. And dude, Stanley yell nuts. That book and that movie, like the accompanying movie to the

book, it's one of the few where they killed it. Matilda, I feel like did the same thing where they just absolutely, they captured the book so flawlessly in the movie. But they did a great job. Barton Guster, dude, saves the day. Yeah. Well, that's too damn bad. I'm tired, grandpa.

Did you, did you see who Stanley plays for though? The team, the polar bears, the power bears, polar bears. Yeah. I don't know why power bears i don't know why i said the power bears it's like a it's like a grinder category the power bears a grinder category do they do they have categories i mean i i don't know, Brandon. You tell me. It sounds like you're speaking from experience.

I don't know. I don't know if they have categories. They should. And that should be one of them, though. Power Bears. I will say this. I have never had more fun than going out dancing with Kelly and her friends at the gay bars.

Oh, my God. I wasn't sure how that story was going to end. Oh, yeah. Oh, God. I wasn't sure how that story was gonna end. Oh yeah, oh sorry. Yeah, that is, God, I could have gone anywhere, huh? But my God, it's Kelly took me out bar hopping in Seattle. Well, and then Van would take me out to, we'd all go out. Which one did you go to in Seattle?

Brandon, I- You don't remember names? Jeez. I don't know if I remember the names now either, but you know, like that whole string on Capitol Hill and all up in there. Like we weren't too far from Capitol. We'd walk home. Yeah. That's where the, that's the hotbed.

Yeah. And but anyways, yeah, man, I've never had more fun dancing. Like, dude, you can just like Kelly's one of Kelly's friends, I'll never forget was like, is he okay? And I was like, oh no, he's fine. Let him, let him just do a thing. I was so shit faced and everyone was just like, this guy's great. My favorite thing, uh, cause I'll go with, uh, um, Kelsey and Gerald, um, to the, to the Denver, the Denver gay bars. And my favorite thing to do, especially with Kelsey is cause because I don't know

what it is with gay guys, but they fucking love a good graphic tea. And so they will have the wildest shit on their fucking t-shirt. And so my favorite thing to do with Kelsey is to go to those bars and I'm just sitting there reading everybody's t-shirts. Just boom, boom, boom. Because there's Well, I just, I'm just sitting there reading everybody's t-shirts. Just boom, boom, boom. Cause there's, there's so many good ones. There was one that was like, there's one I saw that I always reference with Kelsey. You just said, come in me, bro. Oh, that is fantastic.

Kelly always has to help me. Um, just cause I, I'm not very good at understanding of someone's hitting on me. Right? Cause they've never experienced such a, right? Like, what do you think girls hit on T? Like, go on dude. If they did that, that ship has sailed very long ago, right? But like Kelly will be like, Hey Heath, let's, let's calm down a little bit. Like, remember you're with me and I'll be like, Oh my God, were they hitting on me? And she's like, yeah. And I was like, oh my God. Yes.

Like, is that what, is that what girls feel? Like, is that, is that what it feels like to like feel good and have someone be like, hey, I'm just like randomly interested in you. And it's like, wait, you haven't had to get to know me first. Guy would always say, like, man, those guys were so nice. Cause like, he, they were, like, they were just like, that was just such a pleasant conversation. were so nice because like, he they were like, just like, that

was just such a pleasant conversation. Like they were just, you know, couple couple sweethearts over there, you know, just salt to the earth. Yeah. He's God damn it. I'm like, Oh, yeah. Anyways. All right. So but those the t shirts, the next time next time you go to a gay bar, check the t-shirts. Coming to me, bro was a great one. Uh, another one that I loved was a dude who should have said breeding stock. Oh my God.

That's fantastic. Just take a peep at the shirts next time. They're, they're, they're hilarious. I love some good unhinged graphic keys. Like nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that. All right. Let's, let's get to this last episode. It was the best episode. We talked about it gently. It was hockey goon with a grudge against the ducks. The best cameo ever. Taekwondo.

Taekwondo. But it reminds our buddy, Grin, played by Brad Garrett, which opens up a lot of opportunities for like spinoff shows and movies with Brad Garrett. We've already done one though. Yeah, we did. We did one. One of my favorite. Yeah.

So, him as, isn't his name Mern? The Merninator? It's like, it's like a double, it's like a double name. It's like Mernie Mern or something. He calls himself, he calls himself the Merninator, you know, him talking shit to the kids. Dwayne Mernie. Yeah. Yeah. He just, what the fuck? What does he?

Yeah. It's like the Mernin. Is it the Merninator? It's something like that. It is stupid. But in this episode, the hockey goon reminds a little grin of himself before he meets, uh, the his his sensei his quacking sensei. Yeah, I like I said, uh, I need I need a whole spin-off on Taekwondo. We got to I need that to happen Because it's it was it was the best part of the show. It's going to be the best part of this show. He was amazing.

I love how he, right. When he shows up, uh, grand like interrupts him and he like walks up to him and he's like, it's my one fucking scene. And this guy's fucking talking, stealing the fucking seat. Like, God damn it. Why? When they, when, when they're looking for someone to take out the ducks and they hear him say, I'm going to kill those ducks.

And then they send him back as the crazy purple monster. He looks like one of the monsters from, uh, from space jam. And I just, it's the most absurd moment where like everyone, the crowd's like, Oh my God, there's a monster. Like it's just of all the things to do. It's just like, all right, we made this. And the fact that everyone's just like, Oh, so this player now has been transformed into this massive, hairy purple monster and is trying to take out the space ducks that are also

crime fighters with the secret base under the stadium. My God. That's the key. I remember those is these people have already not only have they been incredibly desensitized. Yeah, they've already not only have they accepted that the space ducks exist and fight crime, they also pay money to see them play hockey. I did love when they kidnap Stanley and they bring him to the spaceship in front of Dragunius

and he's like, where the hell am I? This isn't the locker room. And then he looks at Dragunius and he goes, my coach ain't no lizard. It was, I mean, I actually kind of enjoyed the insane hockey goon, but, uh, you know, it, it ends basically with what grin just kind of like taking the lessons and they take them all down and, and the hockey goon becomes a referee Brandon. Right. Full circle. hockey goon becomes a referee Brandon. Uh huh. Right. Full circle. Yeah. He becomes a, and, and the irony is he gives a penalty for roughing or whatever.

I was just taking a peek at the episodes we're going to cover and I do have to say, I'm actually kind of excited. There's a play on the old Dungeons and Dragons cartoon, and it's called Dungeons and Ducks. That's episode seven. That's going to be fucking sick, dude. Take me to your leader, which I'm assuming is probably going to, like, it's probably going to get within the orbit of like Star Trek episodes. Um, then there's another one that's fine, but then beat to the future. And it's a mix of back to the future and star wars, a new hope.

Oh, wow. Yeah. Um, and so, yeah, there's a couple, there's a couple of episodes that are coming up in our next run that should actually be somewhat interesting. The wildly panned Dungeons and Dragons cartoon series. Why not do an episode that parodies it? And it also parodies ElfQuest. Oh, yes. Jesus.

Okay. Like this is, there's going to be some interesting episodes coming up, but these three were a little rough. This cartoon, while you know, not terrible, it's also not good. It was like the stereotypical, let's put a cartoon on kids will watch it because it's the ducks and we did. Let's let's let's sell some fucking toys. Yeah, let's and they sold the shit out of some toys and some merch.

Yeah. But yeah, like we said earlier, we're going to try to power through the rest of this series. So instead of three episodes, we're going to do five. But I'm excited for the next five though, right? Like I gave us some hope. I gave us some hope with some of these parodies. Seven through 11 for the next episode. Uh, and then 11 is micro ducks, Brandon. So it's like a honey, I shrunk the ducks kind of episode. So like

we've got some stuff to, we got some stuff to look forward to, I think. Okay. And then, uh, well, at some point we'll take a break in between in the middle of these animated series, just to do some other movies to you know Break up ourselves entertaining like my god Like I don't know how like that the next rip of five episodes is gonna be enough to you know Yeah, and we the next two movies we're gonna do some deuces. He's some doozies. I'm pretty excited for it Yeah, the movies are gonna be sweet. But yeah, so this, this show,

I'm glad this show existed though. Right? Like I'm so glad it happened. It was just such a fun sign of the times where it's like, all right, we've got this, we've got this, this entity that is making a shit ton of money. How else can we milk this entity to its fullest? Yes. And they did it. This did it. Right. Yeah. Oh, I can't imagine the toy revenue they made. I can't imagine it, you know, cause they were cool. Like that. I mean, that freaking going mass speedboat. Are you shitting me? That was so cool. Yeah. Like what a sweet bath toy too. You know,

if you market it as a bath toy, you know, maybe put a little squirt gun at the top. I was never a big bath toy guy. I was never a big bath guy in general. I like stewing stew in there, you know, it is, it is at people soup. But, um, when I was little before, we didn't have like, we lived in an old fucking house and that's why I swear it was haunted. My parents can say that it wasn't all they want, but I know things, man. Uh, but we didn't have showers. And until my dad built one out of spare chem light that was used to build

trailers that like from the place he worked out, they used to give the employees the spare pieces. Like we're weirdly cut. Anyways, um, he built our shower, but before that we could only do baths, but I had like these sick, like toy cowboys and army men and stuff. So like, there would be some pretty epic, you know, battles that would take place in the town, you know, and it was pretty sweet. And, but once, you know, once I got too tall, really, um, we graduated to the shower, you know, the chem light shower, just don't, you know, get a splinter of

that shit is it's plastic. You'll have to get it removed. You know, probably wouldn't pass code, you know, probably wouldn't pass code, you know, like probably wouldn't pass code, but in the nineties, when your dad has access to spare parts of the trailer, you know, it works. It's fine. I used to speak into that. I used to, cause I worked at, I think it was mentioned this before.

I worked at a mini golf place for, uh, for years. Um, and we had fiberglass clubs Getting a fucking fiberglass splinter was the fucking worst So goddamn painful and impossible to remove The shit was just I'm pretty sure I'm like my my hand my fingers must be just riddled with fiberglass. Yeah It's the worst anyways, but yeah, here we go. Here we are, you know, just a couple, couple old guys talking, old animated ducks, you know. Here come the mighty ducks fighting to save the day. Wait, hold on, what's the rest of the words?

On the road to glory, ain't no turning back. It's got to be the mighty ducks on the quack attack. Brandon, look out, clear the way. The ducks are here to play. Ducks rock. Yeah. Ducks rock. You know about that, Brandon. I do get down to this theme song every time it plays. I don't give a shit about the episode, but I will play the theme. That was like the one takeaway I had from the episode yesterday. I was like, God, I really like this theme song.

It is, it is nice. It's not as good as like the Winnie the Pooh one, right? Like I'll sometimes just turn on that. You know what I'm talking about? The gotta get up, gotta get going. Gonna meet a friend of mine. He's warm and he's fuzzy. I love him because he's just Pooh Bear Winnie the Pooh Bear. Oh my God, dude. I'll just put on that show to listen to the theme song and then move on with my day. And then I'll skip to the next episode and just hit the theme song and they move on with my day and then I'll, I'll skip to the next episode and just hit the theme song and like, dude, there's something about it. It just kind of like,

I don't know, it gets me fired up a little bit. Yeah. It's a great song. It makes you feel good, dude. You know who makes you feel good? Winnie the Pooh, man. Like, you know, he's just a good guy. I fucking love Winnie the Pooh. I was a Winnie the Pooh kid. I used to watch that shit. I had all the movies with Tigger movie. Oh my God. And that first movie, that OG movie, I mean, when Pooh gets stuck in rabbit's house from being a fat, fat bastard, eating all that honey. Oh my God. Classic.

And then, and then rabbit tries to like make Pooh's ass, not as like just a source because like, you know, rabbit's got to live in this hole and this rabbit hole and he's just got Pooh's big ass and, and it's fucking, and he tries to paint a face on it and it tickles Pooh's butt. And he's like, so about that cracks me up to no end. And when he's a little rain cloud, my God, right? Like how many, I still, I don't know if I will ever see rain clouds and just, and not say, tut tut looks like rain.

Yeah, that's good. Oh yeah. What are the things? I'm a Eeyore. I'm a sucker for Eeyore. Love you. Sorry, Brandon, but you being a sucker for Eeyore is one of the least surprising things I've ever heard in my life. Like if anyone that listens to this podcast is like, you know, I wonder who possibly could be Brandon's favorite Winnie the Pooh character. Wouldn't idiot.

Wouldn't they obviously never listen. I don't know if I'd say favorite. He's top two for sure. I probably I put Pooh. I had a view of the classic,'s classic, you know, especially, did you ever watch, um, the, uh, like the live action, uh, Christopher Robin with, uh, it came out like five or so years, maybe five, 10 years ago.

No, not that one, dude, with you and McGregor. So, Oh, I did watch that. That wasn't bad, but I rem, there was a like live action where it was like people in like mascot costumes. I know it happened, but I swear I like had it in a fever dream. I know it happened. Are you thinking about the I don't know if those were mascot, but they there was a Winnie the Pooh horror movie that came out. Oh my god. Yeah, I saw that. But the Christopher Robin movie with Ewan McGregor, it's an okay movie, but there's

a TikTok Instagram reel clip that gets me every fucking time because it's a compilation of Winnie the Pooh lines from it. And it's just him being the most relatable person ever or whatever. Oh, I think I've seen that. What are some of the quotes? It usually opens with him in the kitchen after he knocks all the shelves down. And he's talking to Christopher Robin. He's like, your shelves make a terrible ladder.

And shit like that. Yeah. Yeah. But it's him just saying all the classic poo lines where he's, you know, he's talking about how he's hungry and he's sleeping and all that kind of shit. So I did not make it up in a fever dream, Brandon. Welcome to Poo Corner was a live action Winnie the Pooh television series. Three seasons. Yeah. Three seasons ran from 1983 to 1986. 85, 86. Okay.

86. That's before my time. It doesn't, it doesn't count. The fine. Well, I remember why I remember watching as a little kid. Cause the final episode date was the month after your boy came into this world after I was so rudely driven across state lines to Iowa, because my parents' doctor was on vacation.

Okay. I'll throw you a bone. I won't talk about it. Yeah, I baited the hook for you, Brandon. I was gonna let you have it. But all right, all right. We can wrap this up. The last 15 minutes.

It's not fun when you're part of it, you know? So you