The Cake Eaters - 119. Wet Hot American Summer: Ten Years Later
Episode Date: September 23, 2025Heath and Brandon return to camp with Wet Hot American Summer: Ten Years Later. The boys talk through the Ontario Moon, how it's finally ok to joke about 9/11, Home Improvement, Tim Allen's ch...eckered past, love triangles, rebounds, Mark's sex book, and Alyssa Milano.Follow us on Instagram @thecakeeaterspodEmail us at thecakeeaterspod@gmail.com
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It's not worth winning if you can't win there!
by strange cliffs crash the Ontario moon oh the Ontario moon when morning comes too soon
when baby when I speak its name baby oh the Ontario moon fuck I messed up the end there
oh the Ontario moon I think it's don't speak its name not when I speak but that
That's pretty solid.
For a song we only get 20 seconds of, that was pretty solid.
Crushed it.
Oh, the Ontario moon.
The real, special moment.
The real question is, do you think they're singing about Ontario, the Canadian province, or Ontario, the city in Southern California?
Absolutely, the Canadian province.
What, how much it, providence?
Yeah.
Yeah, that would make sense because we're in Maine, but seeing about a whole province.
Yeah.
And Ontario of all provinces?
You don't know shit about Ontario, Brandon.
You wouldn't get it.
What about like a Saskatchewan moon?
That'd be cool.
I mean, that does have a much better ring to it.
It's my Saskatchewan moon.
All right, Brandon, why did we sing this song?
Manitoba moon.
Then you got the alliteration.
oh there you go that's not bad but tell the people why we're singing this beautiful song um so he
just gave us a rendition of ontario moon by the the famous two-piece jam band soul glimmer
some real stone cold lyricists there we are continuing our trek through uh wet hot american summer
the third and final installment heath ten years later what a journey which was
I believe yeah so the original the original movie that we did that was 2001 pre 9-11
what a world we talked about that yeah and then first day at camp I believe was
2015 let's double check that yep 2015 and then 10 years later is 2017 yeah and
set in 1991 have you seen actually speaking of 9-11 have you seen the
The TikTok, sorry, that's a weird way to start a sentence, but have you seen the TikTok where...
This is going to be in the 9-11 show. Let's do this.
Where the guy is like, you know, there's kids out there that were born after 9-11.
Like, they can't, they don't, they don't even have the capability to never forget.
Yeah.
Like, they can't, they don't even have the capability to never forget, Brandon.
Like, how are they supposed to never forget when they were never around?
I do, I do, I do love the fact that we've, we've, we've.
we have entire generations that don't know what 9-11 was because they didn't experience so now
it's now it's fine to joke about 9-11 i'm glad we're fine it's it's finally you know it's it's hit
the it's like the lincoln assassination you can joke about it now you know i'm pretty sure i brought
this up in the wet hot the the the wet hot american movie episode that we did two episodes
ago where there's the there was a um
a stand-up bit that I saw the other day and it was like there was a crowdwork or
whatever and the dude was like uh oh what are you getting married they're like oh 9-11
it's September 11th and they're like he's like how old are you and they were born after 9-11
he's like okay that makes sense that's and also probably got a great killer deal
hill or deal that's that's what you want to do that's where you're you're grabbing
one of the most expensive places for half price yeah especially if it's like a weekday
you know yeah but anyway so went on american summer they did not need to make you to get
to get married on 9-11 that's you know that's do you think that their wedding like tagline was
never forget that would be amazing that's it's like it's just i think i think i need to get
married on 9-11 now i think that's a this is like happen and and they're both really tall and so
it's just like the couple standing over never forget everybody calls them the twin towers
because they're so tall all right let's get to the tv show brandon this probably enough 9-11 talk
for you never have enough you never have a morning
like oh my god oh man if there's a tall couple out there we just laid out what could be one of the funniest internet moments of our lifetime yeah yeah
yeah i yeah i can't i can't i'm not tall enough to do that we need uh you got to be like you got to be
at least six five both the year well yeah we need like a we need like a a like college basketball player and
marrying a college volleyball player and like you know it's that would be either either gender for
either one i don't care yeah doesn't matter what's going on there that's the that's the least of
our worries it's just two tall folks get married twin towers baby twin towers get married on 9-11
never forget or like if david robinson and tim duncan came out you know that would be great
Remember when they were the Twin Towers?
Were they?
I was to say somebody was the nickname the Twin Towers.
Was it them?
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
Anyways.
Damn right.
Brandon, look what you did to me.
I feel like I'm becoming too susceptible to your shenanigans.
First of all, you say that like it's a bad thing.
Shenanigans.
I call shenanigans.
You know what I have been watching a lot of lately?
It's kind of a driving Kelly crazy home improvement.
I didn't.
Dude.
Oh, ha, ha, ha.
I fucking love Tim the tool.
Dude, I forgot how much I love that show.
And, like, Jill, I think Jill's the best character, like, you know, just, yeah, yeah, it's, she's, like, their chemistry, like, Tim and Jill, their chemistry is out of this world.
And then, you know, Al, his character and how it, like, blossoms and develops.
And, like, it's season two when he starts, like, dating and it goes terrible.
It's just an incredible stuff.
It's just, if you're looking for some good, wholesome family content, like throw home improvement on, it's good stuff.
What about when Mark goes goth?
That was lame.
That was the best.
Come on, that was the best.
When Mark went goth, that was when I was, that wasn't as, as drama filled as JTT has cancer.
Oh, no, no. When that episode, I remember like when that episode came out, it was like, oh my God, we got to watch.
Randy cancer how could it be my mom always hated home improvement though so like she would
she would bear it was it too too much too much shenanigans yeah oh yeah it was way to like
tim drove her nuts you got to follow the rules you got to do things the right way you know he's
just at the grow oh oh oh oh you know she didn't like any of it i love it like i will like it's so hard
not to like join in when he like gets all worked up and like i'll have it on like i'll watch it
this is insane but i'll watch it on my phone while i'm playing play in playstation and like i'll just
be playing and he'll start going off and i'll be like oh yeah that's that's good
that malon's uh him allen's a fucking maniac he's a he's a real right wing nut now
dude he was just ripping cocaine during home improvement though let's see well he got
Tim Allen he got arrested in college for being a drug dealer didn't he yeah yeah he got
it's like he was just ripping cocaine during these episodes I know it was but
anyways the one thing I do love the world the one and only thing I do love about Tim Allen
is he uh he always shouts out Denver I don't know why it's like uh in home in home
improvement he shouts out Denver a couple times in like the he did like two or three shows
after that and his character is always from denver or the show is is in denver nice he's uh he always
shouts out Denver i don't know why he's not from there nice he's from michigan right
oh shit no he was born in denver there you go that's why brandon his uh home improvement
was based in detroit though yeah because he went to i think i think he went to the university
of michigan i think that's where he got arrested for being a for drug dealing
they play the huskers here coming up oh no he went to western michigan university my
apologies my apologies oh the mustangs brown coast that's not the mustings don't i thought it was
the must don't don't embarrass yourself he's that's sorry brady cheese all right let's talk
about this dumb show because it i think i said it to you off air it wasn't terrible but i also
wasn't necessarily good and so there was it much much like much like the rest of the this franchise
if you're in on the joke it's hilarious if you're not in on it you're just sitting there going like
okay let's let's wrap this up and i was i was out of the joke more often than not in this but
there was a couple there's victor saved it again victor and uh neal
neal victor and neal also saved it again you know what i realized because we we taught
was it last episode of the first episode where we we were figuring out what character we are
yeah we originally we said you were the cook yeah not jean but the other one yeah um watching
i don't know if i'm him now no watching this you who you who you who reminded me of you
you was jj if you if you especially in the first like three episodes the way his mannerisms
the way he talks and like his like inflections and stuff was very similar to you there was
one scene i forget what scene it was in like episode two where i was like that
that is heath like he that that's exactly what he would say and do like the video
it was that was a good one but that it was after it was after that it was when they're at the camp
when they're at the camp and it was like the way he said something i was like that's exactly
how he says has says that shit um so yeah you're jj for sure dude all right that's fine
i don't think i would get caught in a weird love triangle like that
but I guarantee you already have do you think so I think back I bet you've been in a
triangle no you're you're a triangle kind of dude no no not at all I if it was that
friends friends girlfriends were what is always I'm not saying you as friends
girlfriend not for you I'm just saying there was some sort of triangle oh oh
well that's I guess I was thinking of two different things I was thinking like a friend
you know like that kind of try with a friend with a friend
like because this was these were his buddies right so like elephant in the room mark and claire didn't
exist those are two brand new characters yeah they just drop like i the very first episode they
just dropped them in to the scenes like they were then the whole time when when it showed
when it cut to them in their apartment or whatever i i stopped the show and i was like who the
fuck are the i googled it i was like who the fuck are these guys i knew exactly what they were
doing i was like they just are acting like these guys have been here the whole time
it was unbelievable this like i said this wasn't a terrible show but it also wasn't good victor
and neil saved it the whole george hw bush and regan nuclear bombing the camp was the worst
storyline in the history of tv show storylines in my personal opinion it was it was it was it was
was rough um oh my god when they undo everything at the end the opening theme is uh jane by our
really good friends jefferson starship did you know that yeah we talked we talked we for sure talked
about this in the first in the first one yes we for sure we did i don't think we did all right
anyways keep going what are you saying why do you think they're our friends if we'd never
talked about that before no we've talked about it during a different movie they did
something in a different movie or shell was it jefferson starship or jefferson airship i don't know
it's one of them because i think i sang the song i sing one of their i think the song you
sing was for wet hot american summer what no but we definitely we definitely talked about the
the theme song in the first we talked about um a good chunk of the songs
but um but yeah neil and victor carry this for sure um i loved uh neil and sherry neil and sherry again um when
they're talking outside of his apartment uh sherry has two sherry has two amazing quotes um
during that scene she's like hands in his box and she's like here's your box of stuff
here's your like you're now your macbook and your inline skates and she pulls out like four other things and then she goes and just a whole bunch of other stuff from 1991 I did love but she was just pulling like all the most cliche here walk man you're like all the most cliche stuff and then she goes uh because Neil's like what did I do Sherry why don't you what did I do why don't you want to be with me anymore and she's like you didn't do anything Neil and that's the point I need more out of life than eating
corn dogs and watching horror flicks on your futon which is like okay sherry what what more in life
is there that sounds that sounds pretty fucking dream like especially at like 20 years old you know
26 291 yeah um 20s amazing 1991 that's yeah yeah sherry come on you don't act like you're
better than this.
Uh, it was, yeah, uh, I mean, the first, I, I, I tried to cheat using chat GPT and it
Oh, I did, I did too and it lied. It straight up lied to me.
It did a terrible job and I was having such a hard time paying attention during this.
It wasn't, like I said, it wasn't terrible. I just, I don't remember any of the details.
It was like I blacked out during most of it. We could talk about Connie did a great job.
you know she was like a fashion yeah fashion designer and she's ready to that that had me cracking up
she's ready to settle down with coop she has him coop is engaged to jenny and um coop and katy justice for
jenny did well coop and katy kiss and then katy decides you know what coop well okay so i was with her on
this because they kiss and then great it as with all the other instances in this show all
of this takes place in one day okay so she they kiss jenny freaks out breaks up with coop
calls off the engagement and then they're at the dance and coop is like um we can be together now
forever well he says yeah and he says it so terribly because he essentially says well the jenny thing
can't happen anymore so let's why don't we give this a try and it's like oh how how fucking
romantic of you coop to you know immediately after you call off your engagement to be like well i
got no other choice so it might as well be katy i was with katy on that where i was like dude i'm
not going to be your fucking rebound you fucking loser i mean i think that was cold-hearted she is just
chasing coop and then just dumped her she always she wants what she can't have you know but i was with
I mean, don't we all?
I was with her on that where I was like, you don't, yeah, I don't, you don't want to, like, the immediate rebound.
It wasn't, it wasn't even, wasn't even like a half hour later.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I did love another bit they kept doing throughout the episode is they would just turn around in the middle of a scene and somebody would be standing right there.
They call it out, I think, in, in one of the later episodes where, um, uh, Coop and, uh,
and the cook guy what's the cook guy's name oh gary is it gary whoop and gary are uh like talking in the
in the uh the cabin the the bunks and then they after they're done are you and uh
gary turns around andy is just laying there in the bed and he goes oh have you been here the
whole time oh i forgot about that ad's storyline was great too with the uh the uh the
younger king of camp deegs deegs um so i actually was just looking at the kid from deegs because he's young
Sean from psych yes he's young Sean he's uh he's in like everything he was in um he's in a million
thing everybody loves raymond skyler gazondo jzondo i don't know how to say his last name
but he's in yeah he was in um uh he was young Sean and psych he was in um what was that uh he was in
in the vacation remake with Ed Helms that was a terrible
just called vacation he's in one of the night of the museums he's in the newest
Superman too I believe the amazing Spider-Man the amazing Spider-Man too with what's
his face not the new guy and not the original but the middle one he wasn't those
ones yep yep Howard Stacy is his name oh my god he is a legend among
legends when it comes to the buddies movies Brandon Air buddies buddy's buddy
snow buddies he does space buddies Santa buddies spooky buddies treasure buddies he does one of
my god he does one of the the puppy voices right yeah okay yeah I remember he's he's B dog
B dog dude he's also uh do drop in walk hard that
oh yeah yeah he's into so anyways he's in book smart too did you ever watch book smart no
that's a that's a great movie book smart um
great movie it's like a it's like a 2010 updated super bad but the two main characters are
our our ladies yeah but that's a great movie book smart highly recommend book smart
his king of the camp battle with um andy was unhinged it was and then when andy gets
shamed and they all just turn their backs on him.
And they said,
Louser.
Yeah, they punch him and then they turn their backs up.
Loser.
When he first meets him and they're doing the softball thing,
that,
that,
we mentioned how they're always,
watch out.
Go to a second.
Let's take it over.
Go to say,
but pick this son of a bitch off.
That's a great way to pick somebody off is to announce that you're going to pick them off.
I thought the same thing.
But that whole softball thing, we mentioned how they're always, you know, paying homage or taking things from other summer camp movies.
There's, um, did you ever watch Sleepaway Camp?
It's like an 80s.
I think I brought it up in the, in the, you know, yeah, because they reference it a lot, you said.
That softball scene is, is a reference to Sleepaway Camp as well.
I don't know if you've ever seen, it's like a real viral clip of that scene that's on like TikTok and Instagram.
it's a scene where it's the best it's the best like trash talk scene i've ever seen in a movie
and sleepaway camp because they're playing it's like an older counselor and a younger camper
and they're like trash talking while they're playing softball and the older counselor goes uh i forget
the people's names but he's like hey why don't you eat shit and die kid and then the kid
snaps back and he goes hey rick why don't you eat shit and live summer's here and you can now
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Oh, this is it, the day you finally ask for that big promotion.
You're in front of your mirror with your Starbucks coffee.
Be confident, assertive, remember eye contact, but also remember to blink.
Smile, but not too much, that's weird.
What if you aren't any good at your job?
What if they dim out you instead?
Okay, don't be silly, you're smart, you're driven, you're going to be late if you keep
talking to the mirror.
This promotion is yours.
Go get them.
it's never just coffee it's the great best clapback in the history of
clapbacks now you got to live with that shame that you ate shit yeah yeah oh my god
yeah but but dwee that's real real psychological deegs not dweeb oh sorry sorry sorry
d's is the new deeggs is the new andy he's got a set his uh partner in crime
Seth you know is he wet Seth wearing goggles or what he's got some weird
glasses he's got like athletic glasses okay don't don't
the Rex backs dude they were kind of reg specs but not you know like they're new
they're they're the new like fashion I feel like they're the new fashionable ones for kids
that are gonna just like be too reckless to not have their glasses attached to them
at all times I I'm getting I have an eye exam later to
I'm going to get some new glasses, some new prescription sunglasses, and some new rec specs.
Oh, let's go, the athlete.
Oh, yeah, dude.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
But we're getting a scholarship.
Got to protect your eyes, kids.
Got to protect those eyes.
Yeah, you got to protect the paint too.
That's true.
A little Kurt Rebus.
Yeah, dude.
No free layups in here.
All right.
What haven't we talked about?
So let's go, we can just go through some of the characters.
And I think that'll help us just talk to that.
I have some great quotes to go through to.
Because like, let's start with, we've got Elizabeth Banks.
Let's start with her character.
She is now a newscaster, but she is doing investigative journalism.
And she goes through just chaos to get back to the camp to figure out.
that like this it it all goes back to camp firewood type of ronald reagan was willy shits his pants
i hated the ronald regan storyline so much and then like the the them showing it and it was just
like that circular ball of turd and then like the girl has him look into her eyes and he doesn't
shit his pants and he saves the camp that's why he wanted to destroy it because he's willy shi
his pants well but he didn't want to destroy it he did but he didn't because it was
all a it was all a joke yeah that's right forgot about that i actually forgot the fact that they
undo everything with the joke at the end just it's made it i get what they're going for but it like
it ruin because they even they even talk about it um while the confetti's like going off they're
like well what was the point of this and what was the point of this thing that's
like yeah it's like yeah okay we we get it you're really funny but we all we also
should point out so um but adam scott is playing bradley cooper's character of
ben um we're gonna get to that yeah it's like yeah but i want to point out so the
there's the reason they do that is because they couldn't get the schedule to work with
bradley cooper but they also they couldn't get the the reason why everybody is kind of
displaced and there's only like a core people in the camp and there's a bunch of other people out
you know doing whatever is because they couldn't get any everybody's schedules lined up so like
elizabeth banks all her scenes are shot elsewhere separate all of jeans and chris pines everybody's like
on different schedules shooting whenever they can the um the dude from fray the dude from fraser was
just on a webcam yeah they think i did you okay so i was gonna ask you about that one um did you because he was
all right are we done here like good luck with the rest of your shoot do you think they
just like left his like no sign off on no they did that on purpose because he well he takes
the mustache off but then he goes and he grab if you if you if you it keeps the camera on
and he goes and he grabs emmy and he starts like caressing his emmy he was
doing a bit but yeah so that's why everybody they couldn't get anybody scheduled
to his line up so that's why everybody is in different in different spots and locations
um and that's why i've been and if you if you remember back to first day at camp
bradley cooper is only in like a handful of scenes uh because the same thing happened then they
couldn't get his scheduled like they only had him for like a day and that's why he plays uh
they they like in the episode one they're like he's like oh i'm also a dj and here's my dj mask um
and then you see that dj and all the other scenes because it's just a mask and it's supposed to be
Bradley Cooper.
So they did a lot of finagling with people's schedules and trying to actually get
a step shot.
I laughed so hard when I saw Ben Scott and I was like, oh, I know exactly what they're
going to try and do.
Or what's his Adam Scott?
I'm sorry.
But when he was like, do you think they're going to notice?
It's like, what?
No.
Like you got a nose job to fix your deviated side.
them you look the exact same it was a medical condition you look the exact same i love i
love what he goes i thought that was the funniest thing that they could have ever done was to have it
be just a no like to explain it away with the nose job well i loved how when he when they get he gets
to camp and he goes up to abe polar and he's like hey so and she's like don't know she's like i know
she can't even tell she goes did you fix your deviate
something that's all that matters that was my favorite part of the whole show it was like
that it was great and then okay and then we also like we'll just kind of like trail into the other
part of their storyline so michael ian black is back as his stay-at-home husband mckinley but they
get a nanny who is in on this like big stupid joke the whole time but like her part of the joke is that
she's a psycho murderer and is like messing with the two of them and their couple.
And so they end up killing her.
Yeah.
And when it all comes out as a joke and they're like yelling her name and then they walk away and they're like, all right, so we're going to chop her up and we'll leave a hand here and a leg there and a foot there.
it was like oh my god that was that was a wild part of the show that they had them kill her
and then it was a joke yeah they um the whole the whole the whole back and forth with uh with him
with her mckinley and then uh claire being like this is just like the movies this is it was great
uh and then you know melissa elissa milano we're we're bearing the lead here it's alissa milano who plays
Renata, Renata.
Yeah, Renata.
Alyssa Milano, one of the all-time babes.
From Charmed, right?
Charmed.
When that was on TNT.
Who's the boss?
Yeah, who's the boss when she was younger?
Oh, dude, who's the boss was great?
We watched that a lot in our house.
Hold me close, young Tony Danza.
I'm so glad you said that because I sing that all the time.
Friends ruined that song for me because that's all I think of now.
Oh, if I close now, Tony Danza.
Yeah, that's all I want to sing.
Yeah, who's the boss is great.
But yeah, Alyssa Milano was one of the original bombshells.
Yeah, one of one of Brandon's first crushes.
And in specifically in Charmed, I'm glad you mentioned Charmed.
Yeah.
My mom when I was growing up was a huge charmed.
Charmed head, Charmhead.
well because it was on i'm gonna coin a coin uh they probably already have a name but i'm gonna call
him charm heads dude the the run that charmed had on tn t and team big mike loves some charm like
when he was just like doing the dish in like they hand wash their dishes and so he loves
throwing some charmed on working around the house when i'm when i'm at my my dad's because he's got
uh he's got the cable so when i'm i might go back to cable i'm getting sick of all these shit i
think we i complained about this last time it's fine keep going sorry let's say what because you
wait you wake up 6 a.m early and guess guess what's on t and t charmed
that it's like uh it's like when you travel you know and and you're in the hotel
and it's it's you just end up watching the most random shit that's on but like you know like
yeah and it's it's always something like it's like oh dude i haven't seen these
episodes of south park or it's like you know like or um
a random I can't even think of the hour-long shows but you know what I mean
like it's just like the most random fucking shows ever or like a like a random
action movie like if caught air comes on dude over it right but that's yeah like
any of the team like a Fast and the Furious as you know like any of the TNT
classics so Charmed was is on was on TNT it's it's it's got to be on
HBO Max right maybe yeah off to check I might
it might be time to rewatch charm dude i think we're gonna so paramount has a deal
do you think there's any mighty ducks charmed connections dude i think we're gonna make the
unfortunate switch from hbo to paramount because hbo is like 180 dollars a year and paramount
is running a deal for 30 dollars a year i'm gonna need you to rethink that mainly
because i have paramount well what if we make a deal you want to make a deal because i'm
poaching off your HBO right now you can do you want to mooch off my paramount i have paramount
well that's yeah i think you're missing we're we're cutting down on our streaming services
brandon we have a child coming yeah you're gonna you're gonna raise that child in a
charmless world yes it's gonna have we want paramount plus so it's eureka's castle little bear you know
like the classics rug rats dug that's double dare oh whoa okay okay hold on hold on hold on
all eight seasons oh wait yeah all eight seasons he's all eight seasons are on peacock wow so okay
you can cancel hbl then we're good okay all eight seasons on peacock my god what a journey
okay so that was time to rewatch charmed baby dude i i mean dude that's we just talked about it's
me with home improvement it's been great i'm i'm trying to do some some rick and morty in
there but those later seasons are starting to lose me a little bit i never i never got on the
rick and morty uh train uh d danny was was was into it so i watched some
of it but i never got oh dude dude mighty ducks charmed it says they share the same stunt woman
oh my god all right what's the genie effer baby let's let's talk about the next storyline all right
let's get back to victor and victor and neal because uh victor is a flare bartender still a virgin
And Neil is Victor's co-worker.
That scene at the bar was amazing.
That was great.
When they're like back to back at the bar.
It was so good.
But then Victor- I do love us at the bar scene when they're like,
my favorite thing about their dynamic is whenever they're like doing something and
Neil's just like, you're the man, Victor, you're the man.
And how they explain away his inability to be in some of the episodes by him just taking like a nap.
And then he just like weight the background covered by blankets.
Yeah.
He's like, oh, man, nap really got away from me.
Yeah.
That was incredible.
And so Neil is trying to get back with his ex, Sherry.
And she's dating that one guy that's in all the other stuff.
Well, our net, right?
Yeah, I always think of him as the sex addict from the league.
Remember, I was, I was watching the league while I was doing my fantasy football draft.
I'm an idiot, not Will or not.
What the fuck is his name?
He's a guy that's always in stuff.
But I was watching the league as like inspiration for my fantasy football draft.
I don't know if it worked.
I was really stoked on my first three picks.
But then right when I thought I was going to get, um, either Jaden Daniels or Josh Allen, they got
snapped right up.
Rob Heuble is the name.
I don't know why I thought it was Will or not.
Rob Heubel.
What was Bradford Gillian or whatever the fuck?
Yeah, Bradford.
That was, that was amazing.
And then Victor is recruited by the, like, oh, who are they?
They, because they were, they tried to get, um, from the first day of camp,
they tried to get Coop on their stuff.
Donna and Yarrow, yeah, Donna and Yarrow.
yeah donna and yarrow and so they want to have a baby and they want victor to see their baby they want
yeah because they think your yarrow has uh slow swimmers yeah and so
when neil is getting victor ready for sex that was a wild clip too
don't don't say hi don't say goodbye don't see that was incredibly funny
Don't say hi.
Hi.
And he's like, stop making that face.
Pretend you had a bank, I think is what he says.
And then he gets like a serious face.
Smile.
And he does like a Joker smile.
God.
And then when they actually start doing the deed and they all have to, she makes him wear different masks.
That was so weird.
When he came out of the bathroom and they were just, it was just like cut to them wearing the masks,
I was I was legitimately terrified I was like this is this is how I feel during horror movies that was so was terrifying but his reaction after he has sex like he's like that like that was hilarious to you like nobody believes him they're like okay dude grow up like you know cut the bit man yeah like would no it happened oh my god and that and speaking of that then he ends up with um oh why am
my blanket on her name now the the makeout girl he ends up with the makeout girl Abby who is now a
sex advisor yes she and she she makes him show her his penis well yeah she makes him show her show her his
penis uh in the middle of the child the kids did the kids dance but yeah her whole her whole thing is
she's like she's like if you're if you're having sex your your dick should be
weathered and in age it looked like it got ran over by a tire I think is what she says in
one time it's like an old oven mitt or something like that yeah and she the first time
she sees Victor's dick she's like it's like a newborn baby it's so so peek and smooth clearly
you're a virgin oh my god she does she does have another when she's talking to
um amy polar about the the british dude um and she they're talking about how amy and the
british dude are fucking she has a magnificent quote where she's like uh she like stares at aby polar
and she's like okay i'm just gonna cut i want to know about his dick i want to start with his dick
right here right now and she goes i want circumference ball weight girth
Amy Poehler, we can go to her storyline. She is a Hollywood producer dating a famous movie star,
and they are gearing up to like launch there. Actually a famous movie star. Did you know? Yeah,
Garth Garth, Gustav. I understand. Well, Garth. Garth McCarthy. That's the character's
name. Yeah. But he's played by, and I don't know how to say his name, Jai, Courtney.
I don't know if I'll say he says. He's in, um, I don't know who this guy is. Oh, he was.
He's in a bunch of stuff.
He was in Suicide Squad, the newest terrible Terminator.
He was in the- I haven't watched.
Did you ever watch The Divergent, those like Hunger Game rip-off movies?
He was in those.
He's in, his newest movie is a shark movie called Dangerous Animals.
Looks amazing.
I haven't seen it yet, but I am a sucker for shark movies, all in.
But he's, he's a fantastic actor.
um and his the british accent uh love it it's amazing and who is the kid that she ends up like
they end up dating the like the guy that's the play producer now oh that's uh luke is the
character name i want to say okay no logan logan logan that's it john early
john early who is in uh in the last our last episode i mentioned search party he has to
you watch search party yet because you need to watch what it's on hb o watch before you
cancel hb o watch search party please i keep forgetting before you cancel it to be a watch search
party all right all right i'm pulling up a tab and putting it in there right now so don't for
but he um amy and the british guy they have another great quote where uh when um because they
do the whole he does the whole i love you thing um you're my muse um you're everything and then he gets a
a movie gig and it's like never mind but peace bitch um but when in the scene when he's like
expressing his love to her he uses an amazing line he's like he's like tell her how much he loves
her how she's his muse and she he goes i want to work on a project with you called forever
i don't think search party is great fucking life i don't think search party is on hbio bringing
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oh did that they cut it out it it was an hbo show that's weird they they sold it off again
okay so hulu so you get you got plenty of time to watch it then yes i just see it was
originally well originally it was a t and t show and then they moved it to hbom max um but hbom max
must have you know they dumped it they make terrible just the worst decisions ever
HBO max well that's not surprising real uh real cracker barrel situation they got going over
jesus don't get us looped into that brandon keep old jesse or whatever his name is
what's the cracker barrel guy i just i assumed i didn't know he had a name yeah they have a name
yeah yeah okay it's like old jesse or something like that old jessie just i'm old jessie the cracker
bear cracker
okay
is that inappropriate
uh no
it was just some
white-and-white crime
name
sorry
is that inappropriate
again damn this
you're not
you're not inappropriate
you're just you're just weird
um
a couple i have a couple other quotes i want to i want to talk about before we get to
um excuse me before we get two we do it one dumb to circle back to mckinley and ben
they have the bit a bit going through the whole the whole show uh
where they keep they keep talking about the the better business bureau and they're like
oh yeah the bb doesn't mess around yeah that's classic that and then um dude i'm
I'm not, if you pushed me far enough, like when I had to deal with H&R block fucking up my taxes, I got those taxes for free thanks to you.
Better Business Bureau.
How don't they mess up your taxes?
Dude, I don't even want to get into it.
It was the most, the asinine mistake.
And the lady literally was like, just submit it incorrect.
I was like, you want me to submit my taxes?
It's better than not submitting it.
Well, I was like, well, we have a week, so there's, there's no need to just submit them incorrectly.
That's true.
I had them, like, I made the mistake of having someone double-checked my work.
Should have just submitted my own work, you know?
And the person that did it messed it up.
And I was like, hey, this is showing weird going on.
Why it wasn't so hard?
Because it was two different states.
And just the lady that, like, that's, that should be the easiest thing in the world.
Did the lady put in a wrong number somewhere?
And I was like, hey, this jumped up like almost $2,000.
I shouldn't be getting almost $2,000 is too much.
And they wouldn't fix it.
And so it took me almost a week.
And then finally on the last day, I got someone to fix it for me.
I was like, thank you.
This shouldn't have been this art.
Interesting.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Yep, got me real fired up.
But anyways, all right.
So what are your interesting quotes so we can kind of wrap this up?
talking about nothing and we still have some storyline to talk about i've only got two more because we
hit the the uh the i want to start with your dick was the biggest one that was fucking
hilarious um when when um chris pine and jason schwartzman are given their backstory
about what happened to him and they're talking about how they're like murder robots and everything
and he goes chris pine says he goes um all of that murdering was beginning
to murder us that was a great fucking line yes and that was really good and then um uh when uh
when we get gail and jean when they uh reunite um and jean's trying to get her to come help he says
we need you there gail we need you there to help the camp you know the camp like you know the ins
and outs of the back of your hands which was that's a great that's a great uh like normal
saying mess up is to just combine a bunch of them great and then there's uh so that those are my
quotes but there's two other things uh i want to was one thing i want to mention and there's another
thing we need to talk about okay um the one thing i just want to mention uh to circle back to uh victor
and uh the the three-way mask situation when he when he pulls up to their cabin did you see what he's carried
he has like a little uh bouquet uh of like uh not even a bouquet it's just like a couple of
flowers he picked on the way over but then he has a and neal him and neil split it
yeah they split the bouquet oh but then he also has like true bros yeah but then he also
in addition to the flowers he also has a six pack of wine cooers that's
bartles and james right it was that it was a different you know name but that's what it was
yeah yeah okay it was the same packaging they just changed the name so they couldn't you know you know
one of those foods yeah but yeah bartle james yeah my grandma used to pound those things
when we would go like uh camping and boating and stuff she would just that's that's amazing
i thought it was also really funny how immediately after he was done she was like oh my god i'm
pregnant yeah she felt a kick yeah i felt a kick that was hilarious um all right who else do we
the well i got one thing we need to delve into here okay
What's that?
Are you talking about JJ when the guy that he was sticking up for is literally banging a girl behind the hay bales right behind the girl that he's dating?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That storyline was so darned.
Well, along those lines, though, we need to talk about, we need to talk about Mark's fuckbook.
Did you?
Because I.
when it started doing the voiceover of him like reading what it said in the book and i was like
this is wild um so i paused it to read some of the the stuff did you see what it said no
it was um let me see if i can crap i don't even remember
hold on that was what episode five let me see if i can pull it up here the fucking his
fuckbook was insane there is he was like it was like by day and the one day he had like seven
women and at the at the end of it he said it said something like um it's like i got to stop for some
fucking reason hold on i'm about to pull it up here did you like how god the worst storyline
it's the last i'll say it was the ronald regan
george bush and then governor bill clinton that was i hated
bill bill being the dude in the that was weird i have the i got the
fuckbook though if you if you we can because we don't even need to talk about ronald
and all that well i was going to say that's like jean and gale and
h john benjamin can't of vegetables and beth like that's their whole thing
the nuclear bomb it was terrible um yeah um all right what's uh
So the first the first entrance in his fuckbook, Monday, June 18th, 1991, what a day.
Mandy and then he's got like, so it hasn't called his four girls names and then it has like a, you know, a blurb about the girl next to it.
So it says Mandy, gulp, didn't miss a drop.
Sandy, right in the eye.
Bernice
She took it all the way to my nuts
Karen
This is what I was
After Karen it says
Had to stop
It wasn't smelling too good
Then she turns the page
And it's
He's got like a weird little
A weird little poem he wrote
Or not even a poem
It's just the line
It says how I love the
Let me cunt the ways
and then he drew like a lady's body
and the arrow was pointing to the vagina
but then so
the next page is
the next page is
Connie June 19th
1991 so the next dare
what a body on that little minks
and a mouth three exclamation points
Da Vinci would blush
oh
what the
then it says what they should call her
is no gag reflex
hoover all nickname her j edgar and then at the bottom of the page it says boom
exclamation point like he gave himself a there's more there's more oh my god see then then so this
is a good one to you so then it's june 22nd 1991 and this is sandra sandra for the whole day
and it's got it's got checkboxes right first checkbox anal
done second checkbox blow job done third checkbox filled her panties then she wore them to the store
checkboxed finger banged in the grocery store checked that it says this is licked he lime pie off her ass check
and then uh and then the next one is angry jack dragon check do you know what an angry
dragon is i didn't look that up i don't know i don't even want to know i i think i know what that
is and i i i yeah and then i don't even want that in my search history and then the last checks
box is the best because the last checks the last checks the last check box is pulled out and came in a
briefcase wow and then then we got more so the next day the next day june 12
23rd, 1991, Chandra.
So we're going Sandra, now we got Chandra.
The first checks box is,
fucked her so hard, her nose ring fell out.
And then second is,
fell asleep while she blew me.
Jesus Christ.
And then the third box, you can only see half of it,
but it starts with wheelbarrowed her down the hall.
That's hilarious.
That's it that my god, I can't believe you stop the movie to make note of all these
the voiceover he was saying was wild because he was talking about it was he was talking about
finger banging in the grocery store and i was like i gotta figure out what the fuck he's talking
about here hold out and came in her briefcase that's wild
but that's your homework he go look up what an angry dragon is and get back to us no i do not i think
have a feeling what that is i think i can guess i don't i don't think i even want to know i think it's
something coming out of the nose would be my guess well we'll see um use your imagination he's
that's okay um well then we also have uh the camp tiger claw he came in a briefcase dude
i think the only other storyline we haven't touched on is the whole they sell the camp to camp tiger claw
but they camp tiger claws secretly working for your boy ronald dragon and somehow we got a dax shepherd
sighting i forget why i have that i have that down here i have dax jacks fucking sucks um i also
have another note right with so she goes to the house that um clinton tells her to go to um
and it's the house that dax is at he like opens the door she walked did you see that door no she
walks up to the door, the door handle is like, it's way higher than it should be, the door
handle. And then underneath, underneath the door handle is a lock. And then underneath,
like the normal lock is a deadbolt lock. I think somebody put that door on upside down.
Because usually it's flipped around. Usually the doorknob is underneath the locks.
I got Brandon you're just being so persnickety right now I'm just it threw me off I was like
why is the door why is the door knob up so high and why the locks underneath it no one else
gave a shit about the doorknob they and you know nobody else probably gave a shit about the
fuckbook but you're welcome because I did I don't know if I owe you a thank you for that I
don't know if I owe you you owe me a thousand thank you for I pulled out and came in a briefcase
That's amazing.
Brandon, at least it's, you know, something to work towards.
That's what you should have done, Heath, you know.
Came with a briefcase.
Wouldn't be worrying about this baby.
Oh, God.
Damn right, Brandon.
All right.
Would you, would you be upset if I nicknamed your kid briefcase?
Yes, I would.
I would be upset with that.
Okay.
Good to know.
Good to know.
yeah it's all right any anything else do you have to say about this
movie i feel like that's all the notes i got i feel like we covered every
character to oh we forgot about the beekeeper the beekeeper still there that's the
only thing oh yes oh damn yes okay good call out that's i meant to say it like the beekeeper
grown up and calling out to mckinley that he showered was really good stuff
did you see did you hear when he showered no he's like it's at the end of his little
intro he's like the beekeeper still here 10 years later and don't worry mckinley i
showered last week oh that's i thought he said last night no he's last week nice okay well better than
nothing yeah the beekeeper is still rocker yeah i did like how he was the dj at the dance too
so he's he's at least he's spinning for people to hear him it seems like people are actually
listening now yeah yeah he's he's connected to something yeah that's that's
seen in the first one where they pan down and he's just talking to nobody was amazing yeah
i mean this is just if you really like wet hot american summer this probably would have been
funny for you and a lot better than first day i'm yeah it's way better than first day first day
was was terrible yeah it was not needed but uh we've talked about it before about how niche
of uh of humor this is and i said something similar um at the start of this episode
where it's like if if you're in on the joke,
then it's delightful.
You're having a great time.
But if you're not in on the joke,
you're sitting there and you're waiting for this to fucking end.
Yeah.
So it's it's very,
that's why it's like a,
it's a cult classic.
It's very hit or miss.
You either love it or you hate it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And like I,
like I said,
I was out of the joke.
I was in on the joke for the first movie.
100% out of the joke.
Yeah, loved it.
And then these two, like the miniseries afterwards, I was out of the joke more often than I was in on it.
So it was, you know, really the only need to, the only one you need to watch is the first one.
Because that's a good, hilarious, like, irreverent comedy.
The miniseries, they get to try hard with these.
Yep.
And it was just, yeah, this one was fine.
What did I give the last one for a cakey rating?
is a wonderful question that I do not know the answer to give me T minus
T minus five seconds for well I do I will say that Connie does Marguerite Moreau
Connie does a great job VP of cosmetics magenta is the color of the year crushed
her role as Katie did a great job of leaving coop hanging again you know
again i was on her side at the end i was like you know what emotions are too raw right now we need
to take a beat okay yeah give me a beat my pa two two point three seven is what you gave uh
first day it came though all right then i'll give this uh two point three nine oh two point four
right two point four yeah let's do two point four okay okay okay
I gave first day at 2.25.
I'm going to give you gave it higher.
I know.
I probably deserve lower than when I gave it.
Okay.
So you were criticizing.
No, I was criticized as you.
Come on, Brady.
That should have been way lower.
So you gave it higher.
No, I should have, I should have gone like two.
Yeah.
Well, because you, you gave the original movie 3.63.
Yeah, because it was good.
I gave it a 3.5.
For this one, I'm going to go, because it is better, I'll go to 2.5 for this one.
Yikes.
2.5.
Generous of you, Brandon, generous.
Yeah.
Well, you know what?
That's what I am generous.
Yeah.
Adam Scott being Bradley Cooper from the nose job was worth it.
Yes.
Adam Scott being really Cooper and the whole babysitter the babysitter plot line
Victor and Neil and then Marguerite Connie is Katie those are your four um your four
takeaways those are the shining stars everything else is kind of man you know
there's a couple there's a couple quotes like I like we mentioned that are that are
pretty good here and there but um yeah Victor and Neil just yeah
the best bros dude we need we need to find a friend like like fucking neal neal's a
neal's a diehard dude everything you got everything he got this is great like I'm saying
when he when him and victor are like doing anything and he's just like pumping him up is
amazing yeah he's the best victor you're the bad it's him coaching him how to sex was pretty
wild yeah although he like like throws down the mattress and he's like this is the lady and
uh victor's like where where's her head he's like heads up here here's just like a normal lady
just a normal lady uh anyways all right well anything else to say about this uh show brandon
it was probably two episodes too long probably could have been six episodes
I think we said the same thing for a first day of kid where you if you cut this down into a 90 minute movie like we did with the first one it's not bad infinitely better yeah it just it drags on too long because like I was telling you before we said recording I got to like episode five and I was like okay let's let's wrap this up you know yeah exactly started multitasking but that's our that was our trip to camp firewood heath we did we tackled wet hot American summer got it all all wrapped up yeah I don't
what a journey
don't sound too excited
well it wasn't very good to end it
Brandon but the original movie's good
good
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.