The Cake Eaters - 123. First Kid

Episode Date: November 18, 2025

Heath and Brandon crash the White House with Sinbad and First Kid! The boys discuss Sinbad's phenomenal performance, Will Smith being considered for the role, ZTB's life after Home Improvement, mall life, what a terrible person this first kid is, and Heath has a bloody nose.Follow us on Instagram @thecakeeaterspodEmail us at [e-mail]

It's not worth winning if you can't win there! I can't remember, like, because it's literally, it's just, come along and ride on the fantastic voyage. Do you want to go? Do you want to go? Do you want to go? Come along and ride on the fantastic voyage. Nailed it.

That's versus like B-52s is like, the love shack is a little. place where we can get together do you think love shack baby do you think a this is a kick you just podcast everybody that's Heath this is Brandon do you come along for the fantastic voyage of first kid Brandon do you think um a song about a standalone building where you go to fuck people is appropriate for or a fifth grade dance. Jesus Christ, I mean, when you break down the song, lyrics like that, like, geez, Brandon, I've never really, you know,

it's just it's it's it's just love shack. I guess I've never like, wow, that's one of those things that you just don't think about because you've heard that song so much since you're a kid, like I think rock lobster would would have been more appropriate, you know. You're singing that song at the top of your lungs as a kid with your parents. at weddings, you know? I've never thought about B-52's Love Shack being a, you know, love shack. Yeah.

It's a place where they can get together, you know? Yeah. Oh, my God. And, oh, well, so anyways, first kid, Brandon, what is this is such a 1996 classic from Sinbad. Sinbad. Totally underrated. I had no issues with Sinbad's performance. Sinbad crushed it.

the rest of the movie absolutely in his bag like sim bad knocked this movie out of the park i loved it i was like god i forgot i was all in on sinbad as a kid dude i did i loved i love fucking sinbad one of my one of my i was going to say good burger him and jingle i think we talked about it when we did ger burger but him in jingle all the way is one of my favorite acting performances of all time when he's calling in the bomb threat he's fucking beating people up at the ball for over a bouncy ball. It's such a great performer. It's so good.

It's incredible. And, you know, like, we did Good Burger. His performance in Good Burger was off the charts, too. Yeah, it's Sinbad. This is, I'm surprised. Sinbad. It just never quite hit after this, you know? He had a very quick moment in the sun.

Yeah. But God damn it, it was bright. Dude, necessary roughness. he was so good in that oh i forgot about meteor man did you know he was not the first choice for this rule oh really who was the first just like kaz like oh dude you we can't talk about sinbad in a movie brand and without bringing up your favorite your favorite um which is the um the shazam madela effect yeah yeah shazam kazazam kazam with sinbad

versus shack i did i never i only knew it as shack i told you i was only ever it's only ever it was always shack yeah it's i don't know what weird like knockoff movie they got like it was like cg i'd sinbad in there or something i don't know but um he was also the a voice of one of the dogs in homeward bound too so we got to shout that out because that is a great one of the one of the one of the street dogs yeah yeah he uh dude that's a that was an underrated movie and it's not the tear jerker that the first one is you know it's not no i dude i just saw i just saw it what did you speaking of tear drinkers it should i'm such a i'm such a sympathetic cryer i can't fucking help it but i was on uh i was scrolling through tictock yesterday and it was a

a video of somebody showing their kid the first homeowner bound for the first time, like the end of it. And the poor girl was just bawling her eyes out. Her mom's like, but he made it home same. She's like, I know. Well, the kid like

all, because, you know, Chance shows up and then what's the cat's name again? Sassy. Sassy shows up. Yep. And the kids like, the little girl, she's like, shadows coming shadow's coming and the mom's like not saying anything and she's like shadows coming and then you know it does the whole dramatic pause and she starts water in her eyes and she starts doubting that shadow's coming and then fucking dude pops up over the hell the music the music the crescendo like you know it's i forget what it is though that homeward bound music though as it

crescendo's up with shadow and like something about his little limp when he comes oh my god it's like you've got a heart of stone if that doesn't like hit you just a little bit the best part of the TikTok video is the once shadow pops up the little girl

turns to her mama goes I told you he's coming but uh back to first kid before I start crying here yeah did you want to take a guess at who the first choice was think

think time frame here this is what nineteen ninety six martin lawrence not martin lawrence martin lawrence would have been solid though right dude i watched uh welcome you're very close though you're very close okay um okay once a um tch martin lawrence corp martin lawrence co-stars martin lawrence co-stars uh boy now you're gonna make always bad boys oh well will smith number one choice interesting i that would this is way to i guess not at the time right like this is like this is like pre right in the middle of fresh prince or maybe yeah kind of towards the end when did fresh prince end like 98 99 something like that and it's before um independence day and before um men in black and so yeah it probably would have been a pretty good like test the waters

of tv to movie type of role but i'm probably smart by his team to turn it down you know if they turned it down maybe yeah i i didn't i didn't see who who eventually said no but i saw that will smith was their original choice to play send that's part dude going back to martin lawrence speaking of actors that i forgot how much i loved as a kid dude i watched i watched the new bad they released like a bad boy sequel like two years ago yeah I watched that. It's fantastic. Really? Yes. I highly recommend it.

Dude, I, so I watched Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins the other day. It's like one of my comfort movies. Like weird comfort movie, I know, but like, my God, that movie is good from beginning to add. Fucking James Earl Jones is in it. Star-studded gas. Like it's, but then I was like, you know, what movie has Martin Lawrence done that you're like, nah not worth the watch like blue streak is one of my favorite blue streaks like the my like number one martin lawrence movie how can you how can it not be i loved black night that's a great one too

black night it's basically the like his version of kid and king arthur's court you know like it's um anyways i just dude i um what's the the national security or whatever that one was good too i was I don't know if I ever saw national security. That it wasn't bad. It was with the guy from saving Silverman is like Steve Zon or something like that. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyways, yeah, dude, I was, like, Sinbad, thinking about Sinbad and him being so good,

I was like, you know, Sinbad never got to Martin Lawrence Heights. And then I was like, I wonder what Martin Lawrence is up to. His movies in like the late 90s, early 2000s were all bangers. like they were never like big high profile movies but they were all really good you know like that was that was once again like movies like welcome home rasko jenkins and blue streak and all that stuff they did all their money in rentals and like DVD purchases and you just can't make movies like that anymore they don't make any money streaming you know yeah just a sad day where we're at but i don't know reminded me like i was just like oh sim bad i can't believe he didn't like blow up blow up because he was too great Sid Med was too comedian focused That's true Because he was stand up first

Yeah he was a stand-up guy Through him through Whereas yeah Martin Lawrence Just a list actor I don't know what he's I don't know if he's Doing anything besides because they did You had the the two original bad boys right The first one would have been right at this time right

So this would have made sense why Will Smith Turn turned first kid down because he's he's bad boys would have been 95 so a year before so he's just he's getting his his dude bad boys that first bad boys movie all of those first time i saw it oh my god i went back because like i said they released a a new sequel last year 24 now that i'm looking it up yeah um i watched that and so then i went back and watched the other three the other three i watched all uh all four of them those movies are so good they are exactly what like an action movie should be where it's just it's just non-stop because it's it's it's michael bay right you think he did all four of them

right yeah um it's like prime michael bay like it's it's it's masterful cinema is what it is it's a per those are those are perfect action movies yeah yeah i even even the the two newer ones are obviously the original two are the best way better but the the two newer ones are fantastic as well yeah Martin Lawrence man if you haven't seen if you haven't seen the the two newer bad boys I see him a watch give him a chance yeah it's um you know what I also love about Sinbad is that he can just like be himself you know like he can like there was a moment in time where Sinbad could just jump on a show and be Sinbad for like five men And it's and every will be like, oh, yeah, dude, do you see Sinbad on that episode?

Or do you see, like if you look through his credits, half of it's just him being himself. Is it that's always sunny sin bad, uh, Atlanta. He's sin bad. I forgot about the him. Him and it's always sunny when he's hits him and Rob Thomas and the, uh, like the, uh, insane asylum is so good. That's such a great episode. Yeah, there's just so many. things where he's just sinbad that's amazing there's a lot of heavy hitters in this movie though too like you went to we had sin bad obviously uh brock pierce plays the kid who and that's the reason we're doing this movie yeah uh young gordon brock pierce is young gordon he's the reason we did

little big league as well both him and um uh the redheaded timothy busfield both a little big yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i saw i noticed that too he's but you also had uh you had um robert uh gilliam Gil, I don't know how to say his last name, but he plays Sidbad's boss, the older black guy. Oh, yeah. I guess kind of his boss, not really his boss. Art LaFleur. Art LaFleur is technically his boss, I think, who's another great actor.

He's the man. Dude, he's in, he's in a little bit of everything too, right? Like he's, he plays Babe Ruth. Yeah, and Stanlight plays the baby. He's in, he's in Field of Dreams. Yeah. He's in, um, what else? the other guy is in field of dreams too the one that we just talked about um yeah yep

he's also in the um he plays one of the coach art lefoil plays one of the coaches in the replacements yes that's what i was that oh dude i was actually i watched it on the airplane the other day the replacements is like the ultimate stop and watch movie like there's i don't think like i was thinking about that like i watch because then i watch it with just like I was back in Nebraska and like it was just on and me and my dad were like oh nice the replacements is on like both of us right away like oh nice it's it's it's one of those stop and watch movies every time like it might be one of the most rewatchable movies because no matter what part you jump in when it's on TNT it's like oh okay cool where my favorite part

is when they sing in the jail oh no I will survive yeah that's my favorite part of the movie It's incredible. That's that move. That might be, I'm trying to think, this might be a bold take. I think that might be my favorite football movie of all time. The replacements? The replacements. It's at least top three.

Dude, it's because like what varsity blues is so good. I was going to say it's varsity blues, remember the Titans and the replacements. Yeah. Well, I guess Friday Night Lights is so good to. I'll say replacements is top five for sure. but it's yeah between them singing in the um in the jail the tide in who's deaf uh the kicker who's in with the fucking bookies um the the offensive lineman the sumo wrestler and then the two uh bodyguards bouncer guys too that movie is so good every every character is a home run

when they audition the cheerleaders they just get nothing they get the strippers yeah it's it's so good Dude, so Art LaFleur also, he plays a coach in like everything, right? Is he, is he in, I was trying to remember this, and I never actually checked it. Do you remember it would have been right around this time, 1990, mid-90s, the, what's the full fucking title with Tony Danza? The Philadelphia, the garbage kicking, what the fuck is it called? The garbage picking, field goal kicking Philadelphia phenomenon. Is he in that? Yes, he is.

Okay, I was like, I think he's in that movie, too. Okay, good. Great, great. Because he's, God, hold on. He's in Santa Claus 2 and 3 as the tooth fairy. That's right. That's right. The coach in a Cinderella story, my favorite Hillary Duff movie of all time.

Dude, I freaking love that with Chad Michael Murray. Don't get me started on Chad Michael Murray. Too late. Too late. You like that site quote? Yeah. yeah it's oh my god oh i forgot he's in uh one of my favorite polly shore movies too in the army now as one of the sergeants he's he's either a football coach or uh like a general secret service

some kind of government official oh my god it's his art lefleurs um i mdb is an awesome scroll like it's an awesome scroll some of the stuff because it ranges decades you know know like he's in freaking cobra dude and of course he plays a captain yeah dude the the the cast list for this like we mentioned we mentioned uh uh the right before our robert uh gulium gilly i don't know how to say his last name rob yeah but that's that's that's refiki from the lion king oh that's where i recognized his i was like dude i recognize this guy's voice from something yeah he was rafiki did you ever watch benson it was an old like 80s TV show he's the main guy in that um he was also in um fuck is it just called

sports show sports hold on let me look let me look at it sports night that's what it's called sports night which was like uh 98 to like early 2000s uh it's basically like a you know it's a it was a spoof uh it was a tv sitcom that of people that like worked at sports center kind of thing he was in that oh was it good no oh okay i mean it's it's worth uh maybe like go watch a couple episodes or go on youtube and find like a best of cut you know he's one of the he's one of the guards in uh war games freaking oh yeah yeah yeah okay

yeah and we're we're skipping over the the the the the the i'm probably the biggest name on this list besides sidbad he's you boy what you boys we're we're skipping over your boy zachary hi brian dude brad i do as soon as like i actually said i was like oh shit brad's in this movie freaking love britt and he plays kind of this similar vibe is brad he plays he plays himself essentially just a bull i don't know i don't know how familiar you are with him with his personal life out after oh no not not no not at all improvement no not at all i he literally pretend that they all just fade off into the sunset even though i know they usually go on to live very trouble lives zachary ty brian has been in

jail multiple times um for most of it for domestic violence if i'm not mistaken yikes yeah he's he got he literally just got arrested earlier this year uh for for domestic violence um he has had a uh a rough go since uh since the end of uh his acting career here damn he was in tokyo drift yeah he's like a tiny little side character oh okay yeah um but yeah zachary type brian uh pretty pretty terrible guy yeah he's i i had no idea definitely yeah definitely playing himself draw drawn from his real life inspiration here in this this movie when he's you know pushing over mascots and yanks and that's i mean picking fights with people he started he started he

his acting career is kind of being the bully older brother on home improvement and it just kept going from there yeah he's also uh also from colorado aurora colorado colorado colorado boy just like just like makes sense make sense that he's from aurora if he's yeah you know like that's a lot of aurora behavior that you just explained yeah yeah yeah checks out dude obviously he didn't freaking take any of the the lessons that Tim and Jill taught him during those moments in home improvement. Did the more I keep watching? I was like, I don't know, I don't know if the actual Tim Allen's a great role model either.

No, no, no, like the lines that Tim and Jill and the show gave him were fantastic. You know, he learned the fictional advice. Yes. If he would have taken the fictional advice to heart, he might have turned out a little bit better. You know, like I just finished up one of the episodes where he asked a nice girl to the, or he's dating a girl and he got his heart broken because she asked someone else to the dance. I don't know. I can't remember.

Oh, damn. You know, but we've all been there. We've all been there. But dude, that show is so it's like, it's such a good show to just throw on in the background. I've never been skirted for somebody else for it for a dance. Usually they just say, uh, no, they'd rather go alone than go with me. That's the, you know, it's not even that they have another option. just like i would just rather go alone you know just that's one of the saddest things you've

ever said on the podcast i just that's incredible brandon that's really sad man i knew that i knew that would get you oh my god oh oh jesus christ i just got a bloody nose on the pod oh spending too much time with tim allen yeah dude dana is doing that much cocaine no it's just a in dry weather, you know, don't mind me. I'm just going to have a little tissue sticking up my nose. What great, like, in real time for the listeners. A little peek behind the curtain. Yeah.

It's like, oh, my nose weirdly just started running really fast. And it's like, oh, shit, it's bleeding. I used to do one of the most embarrassing stories. Well, not just now because who gives a shit. But man, when I was a kid, it was so traumatizing. I got a bloody I blew my nose and then I went back to my desk and I didn't realize my nose is bleeding and it started gushing like a faucet and was all over like it was so hard so fast like it was like dripping down my and I was just like oh my God and my shirt was covered in blood it was it was wild I was so embarrassed I was I had to get a new shirt for my mom. You know, it was the whole thing.

Damn. It wasn't as bad as when I was messing with my fruit box and it accidentally squeezed it and it sprayed pink all over my white shirt. Mama Dee was not happy about me ruining that shirt being a dummy. Anyways, all right. Bloody nose aside. Sorry. That's a wild ride for our listeners.

I'm sure last five minutes. Listen, we go on tangents about blood. Dude, one time I got a bloody nose in a basketball game so bad, it started coming out the other nostril. Why do you got so much bloody nose? Dude, I don't know. I used to have to put Vaseline in my nose as a kid every night before Ben. Jesus Christ.

Yeah. Dude, it was so bad. I had like those little tampon things. They put in your nose for basketball games. I had one in each. side. I couldn't breathe. I was just running around the court like to just blood all over my face. Dude, it was. Yeah, it was wild. One time I almost had to go to the hospital. It lasted for 30 minutes and I started getting woozy. It almost went down. Imagine bleeding out from a bloody nose. That'd be,

dude, my parents were so, they're like, it's been like 20 minutes. We haven't been able to get it to stop. I used to, they'd put like ice packs in my head because that's what the doctor said to try and clot it up here. Did you ever do anything? Like, did you ever get like surgery on your nose to fix it? Because that sounds. No. Oh. Just.

They told to put Vaseline in my nose. I worry that I'm not too far. Because I never had any issues like that with like bloody like random bloody noses. I never had other than like, you know, catching an elbow to the nose. My nose like never bled. yeah um but i am a serial abuser of flones so it's only a matter of time um before it's i'm just ruined yep that stuff's not good for for the old nose cavity no but so it's so good he's so yeah anyways fresh he's spray dude it's nothing better it's like buck all right anyways

bloody nose aside oh lord have mercy we haven't even start we haven't even start we haven't we haven't even talked about this movie yet he's first kid first kid so we've got the president's son who is misbehaving because he doesn't he's upset and and he's a he's a piece of shit kid is what he is yeah but so this so 1996 is this is this would have been Clinton's second term yep okay so this is a fictional world where he he lost or he didn't run again yeah yeah what a what a world that would have been no monica Lewinsky well wasn't that in the second term that's when it all like came out but I think she was I think she was his what eight or whatever first term in the first term as well right yeah maybe I don't know I was I was five years old when that happened

my time lines a little i was i was 10 i only i only knew about the cum stuff and i thought that was hilarious um has little boys do but so yeah but so so uh davidport president davenport and is his shitty little son luke yeah um i did not care for the mother either um yeah she was kind of the word linda like she was a real karen linda did yeah she was uh she was real quick to throw uh the secure social secure the social security secret service guy under the bus yeah like right away too and like the kids being an absolute brat and she's given the guy i kind of felt bad for um what's his face his character the guy from little big league what's i was honestly i was ruined for him for woods yeah yeah i mean at the end he took it too far but

at the beginning like that kid was being the worst he took it he took it too far when he Pointed the gun at Sinbad. I had no issues pointing the gun of the kid. Jesus. That kid fucking sucked. Him and his dumb snake. So that was the other thing. Like, can we get the lid on that thing?

Like, how is it so hard to pop the lid back on? Or is that snake popping the lid off? Like, I know. No, no. He pops it off. Well, the first couple of times he just straight up takes the fucking snake out of the thing just but the last time when

the snake's like running over the his computer or whatever it's when he goes to throw his shoe right I can't I can't go to the dance and he throws his shoe and that knocks the top off for that's right yeah that's right because it always I was just like God this snake is never in its cage and it is

no dude it's a huge it's a big old python yeah dude it's probably one of the many that have gotten loose and terrorize the state of Florida probably they're an invasive species yeah i also felt bad for his dog brandy oh dude she did not like they never on a like i don't know they did not do a good job of walking her like she was no no no i'm glad they found her at the towards the end when he just walks her out and

fucking let her lose couldn't believe it i was like wait hold the phone did this kid like i get it that you want to like run away or do something but to put your tracker on your dog's collar and then just set it loose is pretty fucked up right like i guess it's a it's a brilliant idea for what he was trying to do but yeah it's zero regard for the dog yeah like what if the dog gets hit by a car like he let it loose on the national mall yeah like that's i was really upset when that happened actually like i was like all right like that's i get what you're trying to do but like do you hate your dog like how do you just i don't think you cared about that dog at all now Jenkins and Josie would be the worst for that.

They wouldn't go anywhere that they did come back. The one time Josie ran away in Houston, I thought she ran away, looked, I left the back gate open and she got out and I was freaking out and I was running through the neighborhood, came back, she'd been sitting on the doorstep the whole time. She literally just walked out of the gate, peed in the front yard and walked to the front door and was sitting at the front door waiting to get let in. Yeah. When I was, uh, when I was growing up, we had a, uh, Australian Shepherd Zena and she,

Oh, love that. She was, she was a fucking runner. Warrior princess. Yeah, warrior princess. She, she was a runner though. Like you gave her any kind of daylight with the door open and boom, she pushed you out of the way and gone. And so she did that constantly.

And usually we, you know, track her down like a couple streets down. One time, though, she fucking booked it and just was gone. We couldn't get her, couldn't find her. she was gone for like three four days and then we like gave up we were like i mean we we you know did your best we threw a sign up we you know we you know did the fuck we lost our dog thing and like four days later i'm walking home for you know get off the bus walking home from school and she's fucking laying on the front step just like i'm back uh right out of food pretty hungry yeah but yeah but yeah she was a runner dude you had to watch that front door

because she was going to book it. Oh, man. And so also and then Woods gets fired because of the incident in the, where he's like roughen up the kid trying to take him into the dressing room, right? Yeah. Well, then the kid moons everybody. Yeah. I forgot.

That's, I forgot that happened. At the end, they were like, yeah, when you saw your butt? And I was like, when did they see this kid's butt? Why are they talking about his butt? So I had to, I was like, wait, what happened? it's like oh shoot that's right i forgot that like there is an incident outside of him roughing him up a little bit he didn't really rough him up he just grabbed him by the collar right or did i am i he grabbed by his upper arm he was gripping him pretty good dude

yeah yeah well because the kid wasn't fucking listening yeah and a mom like the kid wouldn't listen and then the mom would yell at the secret service guards for the kid not listening and it's like well you're the mom yeah tell the fucking kid what to do don't tell the secret service to tell the kid what to do yeah he's the secret service is a uh it's not a fucking babysitter yeah it's there there could not be worse babysitters for your your teenage child right like go on like this if you need child care get child care not the secret service uh anyways that drove me not another another president wasting taxpayer money exactly you know just my god but like that it was hard not to feel bad for the

kid because the mom was the worst dad's the president like he's just getting his he lives in a fishbowl at school because everyone's mean to him you know it's tough tough stuff out there well that this was a new school right some of yeah yeah new school so um yeah so new school uh they don't freaking brad boy yeah fucking ctb out there causing a hug um the one girl though uh what was your name katie yeah she was about that life from the get go dude as soon as he walked in her eyes lit up she was she was all about it how did you feel about sim bad letting him get punched at school where they were like oh the first time yeah i yeah i thought to say he because he was like they're like aren't you give like what did

what did the teacher say she was like aren't you like aren't you supposed to like like she's like said something about like giving him what he needs or something like that right and then And then Cibab was like, I did. I just did. Yeah. Like, he needed to get hit in the mouth by someone for being a jackass. Like, you know, like, we get it. You're sad about your parents being gone all the time and like you're just always feeling locked away.

But that doesn't mean you're going to be a jerk. Yeah. Like, it's nothing, no life situation outside of like having to like rob in order to like feed yourself is can justify. You know what I mean? Like being a. dick yeah well even even in those situations you know when you're not robin don't be a dick then you know yeah you can still be nice in between the robberies yeah but no no i i totally agree with him letting the kid get punched yeah i would have done that too i'd have been like fuck you dude

uh um yeah they they lock him away because they don't want to him to him to be a risk on the campaign trail because he's such a little dick and so they have to are they on the campaign trail is that where they're going they leave that's why they leave and sinbad is like in charge you know i wasn't i didn't really pay attention to why they left um okay campaign trail that makes sense yeah but speaking of the kid getting punched in the face one thing i really need to talk about um i don't have a ton of notes but one note i wrote down was the fake blood that they're using this movie is it was way too red it was like they got it was like it was like it was like uh cherry coolate yeah classic like blood's not that red it threw it threw me off and they they use a lot of fake

blood in this in this movie there's at least like five scenes where somebody gets put either punched in the nose or this uh this is everything you want with a moderately produced kids movie you know moderately this is a disney movie yeah but it's it didn't have a huge budget did it oh shit it did i mean it's a disney movie fifteen million dollar budget for this is pretty pretty good i wonder they had such a good cast yeah the box office gross 26 million that's not happen it had a 21% uh critic score on rotten tomatoes oh yeah it widely panned like it's i liked it though i don't know like it's it wasn't like a good movie but it was i don't know it was it was everything that movies were when i was a 10 year old kid you know the only good thing the only redeeming qualities are sindbad's like one-liners

so like just just go in his ties sinbad's ties come on dude simbad Simbad crushed with the ties. That's the only good part of this movie was Sidbad's one-liner. So like if like you don't need to watch this movie, just go to YouTube and type in like first kid, best lines and you know, watch that. You'll get it. I don't know the training montage at the at the boxing school class. So fucking long. Oh, it was so good.

You could tell they were like, guys, we only have like 75 minutes of usable film Hill. we got to make the training montage longer i i love that when the kid supposedly punched simba out in the nuts he was like a foot away yeah like the glove was like i was like i rewound it twice i was like did he hit him was he supposed to have hit him there and it's just air it's just he just sticks his arm out like that kid was one of the some some fast air though that was one of the least athletic child like child actors are never good athletes but my god this kid every time he was jump rope in i did feel bad but i was like is he going to trip on this jump row like i feel like he's not like built for this type of training montage but it was really nice of sinbad to at least like you know

took him to where he feels comfortable just let him be a kid i don't know like safe space i don't the boxing gym threw me off because he they walk in and the entire the entire gym including the guy who owns the place yeah it's like who the fuck are you yeah and then he goes oh i'm uh so-and-so and then the dude like rattles off yeah like his whole life story and it's like how did you you didn't know who he was when he walked in oh okay so you do remember me yeah well not only he knew his whole entire he remembered his whole entire life story You think if you, my point is, you think if you would ever, if you remembered all of that information about somebody, you would kind of know what they look like. You'd be able to maybe recognize them, even if it's been, what, 20 years, 10 years?

It was just, it was weird. It was weird to go from who the fuck is this to, oh, you're my favorite person in the entire world. I don't know, Brandon. Simba might have put on some weight. might not be recognizable no he was in pretty good he was he was looking pretty lean at this time he's in pretty good shape he was i i had no uh doubts about his jump roping when when his punch knocked that kid back classic classic bag work you know in a kid's movie who's great is dude i don't know i loved sin bad throughout this whole movie he crushes it the the rest of the movie

is was was tough to get through yeah i they could have they could have done better with the lead kid right like i i feel bad saying that because like i had no issues with him like as an actor acting wise and like i thought he did really well there just the character itself was written as such a fucking dick that i didn't care hard to empathize with his character because it's like dude you're just kind you work the worst the whole time at the roller rink when he's like synbad's like dude we got to go and he's like, no, no, no, no, no, not yet. And then his whole, I could not understand what his, what his plan at the fucking roller rink was. Oh, there was no plan.

He wanted to go, because it's Katie's birthday party, she invited him. He's welcome to show up. But he, they had to sneak out, but he didn't, he could have stopped sneaking. I thought that the same, the same thing. It's like, dude, when they got to the roller rink, just go up and say hi, yeah. Yeah, like it said he's wearing, he's wearing the disguise, he's hiding. He's like, I can't, she can't see me. And she invited you.

And she's looking for him. And he keeps like, it's like, oh, it's almost like he's hoping that she roller skates with someone else and sits by someone else. And I thought the same thing. I was like, dude, you don't have to hide anymore. Yeah, she invited you. You're welcome there. Yeah, you don't have to hide from her.

You have to hide from the Secret Service. Yeah. In fact, she's fucking pissed that you're not there. Yeah. Like, that was the roller ring. did have what my favorite fucking line of the movie though i wrote it down i don't know why it cracked me up so much but it's it's katie she's skating with her two friends right and the one friend is like talking about all you know these other kids that are dating and and all that kind of stuff

and then the other friend well in mid skate like looks at katie and go and this is her exact fucking line she goes great party katie you're so popular I don't know why, I don't know why, but like just the, that fucking cracked me up. That was my favorite line. I, uh, dude, I also, you're so popular, so popular that, uh, that, that, that piece sign necklace. Oh, dude, I had a, like, I remember I got it at the fair. I had like a Nike version of like that piece sign necklace. I thought it was so cool.

Did they have a tracker in it? No. Oh. No. I bought it at the fair. I don't know if you heard that. The Wayne County Fair in 1995 did not have technology. I did like the the X Secret Service guy in the wheelchair that was selling him all the cool shit.

He was rad. I loved with so it's it's when they're at the mall trying to find him at the end. And the wheelchair guy's like rolling out of the thing and he's got the thing. He's getting ready to go try to find him. and he's like shot buddy whatever walks over and he turns to him and he goes you need to call the secret service tell him that the prince is here they'll know what that means it's like how that dude can just call the you can just call the secret service that seems like a weird thing to be able to do even even even if you used to work there that seems like

a weird thing to be able to do and it's like of course of course of course they know what the prince is here means everybody knows what you mean when you say the fucking prince is here That's not like a super secret code. Actually, you can contact your nearest U.S. Secret Service field office, which is listed in the emergency numbers section of most phone books. Do you have a number there? Give them a call right now, live on here. No. I don't believe you.

We get arrested. I don't believe you. This is how you get deported, Brandon. My God. been asking for it for how long now but yeah that's so you can't actually brain and so you were wrong like you and back at this time they could have jumped to they could have gone to the pay phone they could have jumped to the back of the yellow pages emergency numbers u.s secret service boom it would have taken 10 minutes but i just that that whole that whole phrase cracked me up though

call the secret service tell the princess here they'll know what it means I don't know I was okay with it I like that guy yeah no it was awesome yeah saved the dish it's a good shop owner and the secret service is sad to lose him

because I do love that he was posted up at the mall selling um like secret service technology yeah posted up at the mall dude the 90s were a different time no I was gonna say remember malls I miss malls those were fucking cool shit

yeah we used to my parents like i just have a couple buddies come with my parents would go do the real shopping for the stuff we need they drop us off at the mall you were two three hours oh dude maybe like we'd usually get like usually have enough money for like maybe one little like something rather if i could grab a you know a pack of cards or you know spend the five bucks in the arcade dude i used to just fucking post up at the mall on like saturdays um would only buy like a food court like lunch or whatever he's posted up at the mall trying to mac on some honeies dude yeah that was the prime walk around that was the prime spot to find like

hot girls was the mall that's how you met people from other towns you know for us it was people from other towns because we had to drive to sue city to go to the mall yeah or 20 like we had to have an escort 20 minutes to nor fork or 45 to sue city see i had all is where you met like the real fancy ladies you know North Norfolk is yeah I had big city girls I had I had three malls within throwing distance you know

I had my choice go to the go to the Westminster Mall Jesus I that was city city folk you know dude the Westminster Mall was the fucking spot dude they had they had so many fountains

they had a and each fountain had like a fucking like one of them had like weird hot air balloon art in it nice yeah dude fucking post up get a little pretzel little fucking uh soft pretzel and some cheese dip dude i loved an orange julius oh dude loved an orange dude what's wrong like orange orange july so much shit walls were the best they were in orange julius in orange julius

specifically at a mall top tier can't fucking beat it it was oh dude it was it was it felt like every sip was like you know what it tasted like it tasted like it tasted like freedom is what it tasted like dude i also and forget what there's it might have been out dude fucking amigos is there's not amigos outside of nebraska's there what's amigos i don't think so it's like a it's like a nebraska taco bell oh no no no no we have uh so colorado we we obviously taco bell uh i'm trying to think what was dude well i don't i don't think we had like a regional one we had uh taco bell del taco taco taco um i guess love six back in a pound are you kidding me taco johns like back then probably was a lot more regional than it is now now it's kind of

you know kind of all over the place but i think back then it was probably more like wyoming colorado just but did we didn't really have like a the best thing to get out of mall is freaking authentic new york slices of pizza from Sabarro. Sabarro. Dude, that's one of my favorite scenes, like, at the office when Michael's like, it's my favorite place to get pizza in New York. It's authentic New York pizza.

It's a Sabarro. The, the Westminster Mall had the best, like, pretzel shop. It wasn't. Antians. No. No, it was, it was like a, it was like a, local. I get, yes, local.

Are you? For you what even it was called? It might just been called like the pretzel shop. But it was, you know, it was light years better than Antianz or Wetzels. It was so good. So I used to anytime I went to a Westminster Mall, post up, you get that. And then once you, once you crush your, your soft pretzel, you wander across the food court. You know what you get there?

What's that? Dipping dots, dude. Oh, ice cream of the future, Brandon. I loved that the final standoff was in a mall. And I loved even more the pop-up virtual reality station. Those I forgot about this. Do you remember the old roller coaster simulators? Those are the best in the mall.

The roller coaster simulators were the best in the mall, man. Because it was like we're in Wayne, Nebraska or Norfolk, Nebraska. And we're like three hours from the closest roller coaster. So we got to get our virtual version of it, you know. Have you seen the thing? where um like you put your kid when there's still light in the hamper and then you put like a roll like a first person view of a roller coaster on youtube and then like you you like take the and it like you're like oh going up up up up up up and then it's like it's like oh that's a good idea i'm pretty good

yeah yeah yeah i forgot about the virtual reality stuff and then the uh kind of like when i was older we had um flat irons mall in like oh old like right kind of right outside of boulder that opened up and that always had um like crazy stuff in the like little courtyard area they would you know like the the trampoline harness shit you can do oh yeah they always had like that posted up there uh top no those those like center like because before it wasn't just like the weird shops it was like weird stuff that your kids would do yeah you know it's it's just interesting um yeah i'm miss malls man yeah i i loved that they had that pop-up virtual reality simulator it was pretty only costs 10 bucks too that's a fucking yeah how long was it

30 minutes probably i don't know if they said but yeah i was 30 minutes yeah dude yeah that was a it's crazy but the graphics that they showed for that virtual reality were pretty good for the times you know it was it was right on par it was fucking yeah so fucking stupid it was exactly what you would expect from from that but anyways i i don't know brayna i thought this like i the whole time i was watching it i was like yep 10 year old me i remember when it debuted on disney remember being super fired up for sinbad in it watched it anytime it was on TV like it wasn't good it wasn't something that I was like yes I love this movie but it was something that was like if it was on Disney channel's like oh nice first kid is on it was pretty

it's it's okay you know it's it's it's all right it's it's definitely not the best it's not it's nowhere near the best Disney president based movie well my date with the president's daughter is your favorite right it might be the greatest movie ever made Jesus Christ. I mean, I do love what's his name? Will, Will Forte? Not well with the president's daughter. It is a good movie. Well, uh, Will Fredel from each other hockey states is what you're looking for. Yeah. Yeah. What do I say? You said, uh, did you say Will Ferrell? No, you can see. I don't know what you said. Yeah. I think I mixed a few names together. But anyways. Um, yeah, my idea. I thought this is, I thought this is pretty decent.

And I mean, there's not a lot to like talk about like. No, we we go we do have to talk about mongoose 12 because that's how he lures him is through the old school breaking chats dude it's a python lover and mon goose 12 they're in a freaking snake so you get the connection there right yeah yeah because mongooses are the only they they love killing some snakes you know sorry I didn't get viper boy though because he's got a he's got a python it's not a viper yeah but maybe he's a little more poisonous he's got he's got a little more venom he's no randy orton that's for sure oh higher voices in my ear they come to me they understand they talk to me i think it's i love i think it's they counsel me not they come to me i think it's oh i don't know dude come on don't you can't expect me to i just go with vibes i'm just i'm helping me out here if you don't want me to sound stupid singing a song that that that chip has sailed long ago brandon i just go on

vibes and hope and dreams that i'm going to get the lyrics right um my favorite is it like i forget which of the european cities they were i might have been france when they started they started the trend of singing his uh theme song when he comes out yeah yeah i do i do i think that was france huge upgrade for for orton that was i had oh this just says about where i was in my college years, but that was my ringtone. That was your ringtone? Yeah. I liked his, not original, but the theme song he had before that was so good.

It was good, but I mean, I was like, hey. I forget how it goes. You can say, and now we're going to buy. That became the raw theme song. That's why he had to cut it. but i like they're always always they're always trying to cut down randy but um have you heard some of the stories about what he was like on the road when he was younger he was he was he literally blew up a bathroom with a piece of dynamite yeah he was a he was he was a

he was a classic uh nepo baby yeah yeah yeah yeah dude have you ever watched the show heels it's on Netflix it was on stars for two seasons no i wish it would have gone longer it's pretty good is it i never i never watched it's it's intense though like they pull no punches with small town wrestling shit like it's it's it's pretty good it's worth a i'm i'm on season two on netflix like it's it's exactly what you'd expect from a stars original eight episode show about heels and wrestling it's exactly you know what i mean like it's and it has a freaking arrow dude the green arrow is the main character oh uh yeah i know who you're talking about though love that guy and then uh he he he uh did a little w w w s stuff didn't he yeah yeah when this was happening

because cm punk is in it uh dude the lineback from the steelers yeah uh yeah dude he's in it um the guy from the Steelers who James Harrison James Harrison is one of the characters in it James Harrison yeah I'm pretty sure it's him yeah Colorado State legend yeah yeah dude a little rammy I hope that I hope that I wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait what is it James Harrison I thought it was is he no but it's not I'm James Harrison is not a Colorado state legend who's the Pittsburgh Steeler that was a Colorado state legend James Harrison is in heels yeah I'm saying I got my

thing wrong he's not the Colorado State legend who the fuck was it Joey Porter is who I'm thinking of my bad Joey Porter yeah that's my bad I'll say it's so stupid that's me that's on me um damn I can't Jesse

okay I'll have to check out heels though yeah dude check it out it's pretty good it's pretty good I've I've enjoyed it Evan Amel is the dude Green Arrow's name. Yeah. Oh, Alexander Ludwig is in it, too? That's the, that's the mean dude from Hunger Games. Yeah, he's also in the Vikings show.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Did you watch The Vikings show? Was that any good? Yeah, that's pretty good. I kind of lost Steam after season two, but that was just me. It's just a dude It just gets away Dude Michael Malley is in heels

Michael Mallory is in heels Michael Mallory He's guts dude Michael Malley I don't know I remember but From guts You know who Michael Malley is right

Oh yeah I don't remember what character he is Chris Bauer Do you remember him He's in like a true blood He's in like tons of HBO series Never never once watched True Blood

Anyways, all right So first kid Do you have anything else left to say About this otherwise? Let's give it some cakey ratings Uh No Oh, I do

Another one of my favorite scenes I do want to point this out Just because it was good So he's teaching him how to dance Right Because he he asked the girl To go to the dance There's a weird bomb threat

So he can't go to the dance But then he's they stick him out So he goes to the dance But Sandbad is teaching him how to how to dance because he's like I don't know how to dance so they throw the uh who was it the lake side whatever yeah lake side it's on he's teaching him how to dance and he's like it's like it's pretty much just like that scene do you remember uh hitch when uh will smith oh yeah it's pretty much just that scene where he's like just find your groove find the beat

stay stay in the beat but then uh said bad goes uh he goes oh and then you gotta yeah throw a little pelvic thrust in there the ladies love that they're a little pelvic dress and then the kid starts doing it and he's like throwing like multiple pelvic thrusts and said bad's like no no no one one per song one per song one per song that's a great rule to live by though one pelvic thrust per song it's like that's one of the nflicts team's did that celebration from key and peel where he's like no more not one just does like a little subtle one didn't Aaron Rogers do that? I think Aaron Rogers did that. No, it wasn't Aaron Rogers. It was like a

DB that I think that scored on a touchdown. Okay. Your boy, Aaron Rogers, you know, he's not my boy anymore. Packers put the hurt on him. Once a, uh, once a Packer, I was a Packer. He's. I will do the same thing I did with Brett Farf. He comes back into the fold once he retires, quits playing for other teams. Wow. What about what about Flacko? How you like in the Flacko? Oh, too. Don't even get me. I know why you brought that up because you know I fucking love some flack. Oh my God. I fucking love that guy. I might love him more than there's just Stephanopoulos or what's that guy's name?

It's that Stephanopolis. Stavros. Stavros. I was close. That's pretty close. It's still Greek, wasn't it? Yeah. I mean, yeah.

A little little racist, but. Oh, sorry. I did. It was a Greek name that started with an S for me. That's pretty good. but yeah oh dude i that's one of the saddest things that happened like the broncos being good is one i know it's helpful for you but for me god that's real bummer that flacco jersey hasn't gotten enough air this year you know yeah i uh i still got the i still got the last two games

available um so we might have to bust it out dude well are you i might have to have you text kelly for that okay it's like hey listen i know you've got a fresh baby you can't sorry the cat's in the blind so they're i don't know i don't know how i feel about that phrase fresh baby i know you've got a fresh baby but can heath come out and play yeah i don't know i don't know how i feel about fresh baby

that's yeah oh it feels like you're going to eat it or something this one's fresh yeah yeah um it was a new how about you it's a press yeah this we got a baby hot up the presses i got to like hire shannon to come babysit or something like Shannon can you come babysit Kelly well i go watch football go and go play with my friends oh um but yeah that that was all i had for for first kid uh it was okay it's pretty solid i enjoyed it i enjoyed it it was it is it is it is what it is you know yeah i thought it was a solid sin bad performance what did i i think i gave congo a solid like three right on the button right or was that high you gave highlander three on the button you gave congo 2.48 oh boy i kind of like this a little

better than congo if i might being honest brandon first kids you would you fucking would i do dude like these movies are right up my alley i kind of still like him as an adult adult too. It's like these are the movies that I like to just put on when I don't have anything. You know, like I'm milling around. I don't really want to pay attention. Like these are perfect movies for that. So I it's kind of a low score for Congo, but Congo was pretty bad. Actually, it's because you're not an Amy guy. That's what it is. Yeah. I mean, we establish it. I don't know. Do you have a cake? Did you see? Do you see the TikTok comments that people agree with your people are agreeing with your AB take that it was. Yeah. I mean, we established. I don't know. What did you see the TikTok comments? So people agree with your. People are agreed with your Amy take that it was. That it was. wildly irresponsible to bring you a lot okay nice all right I thought I thought I thought I might catch some heat on like like dude get over it's a movie type of he it's like dude it's just throwing it in the wild my god dude this is it's worse than the horror stories you hear about them making the movie of Milo and Otis you want to make a loop that'll do it shit yeah you unplugged yourself

yeah sorry sorry about that unbelievable let's blame cat jesse what's your uh what's your cakey first kid i go 2.51 2.51 okay 0.51 yeah interesting okay better than Congo better than uh the what hot american summer sequels yeah i like this movie okay okay i shoof i don't know this is i was not i was not super sold on this well i'm gonna go i'm gonna go two one two one yikes freaking no love for simbad i guess said that's the only reason it's a two one if sindbat if it's if this is will smith instead of sinbad this is getting a one

it wasn't like bad bad though like it wasn't wasn't bad it wasn't good it was just it was just boring it was it was hard to sit through the whole thing i was like let's wrap this up here until the end when he pulled the gun on the kid now then i was like now we're talking i don't know i maybe i did just like the right amount of multitasking because i was taking i didn't take notes on this one and so like i i I was folding some laundry, you know, doing some of that while I was watching. I was like, oh, this is a pretty good-paced movie. Like, this is a bad.

I don't know. Maybe it was the multitasking that, like, pushed me through it because I didn't think it was bad. I literally, that's a great, it's a ringing endorsement is this movie is solid when you don't have to pay attention to it. Like, all the way. The main thing for me was literally, like, as soon as I was like, God, forgot, forgot about how good sin bad was he was like that is fantastic it's worth it just to get a little taste to sin bad you know like i can't wait for freaking jingle all the way i said if you want we actually can't

do that movie we can't um what's uh it's it's a bit of a stretch but uh the girl who plays tami in d1 nice has like a small uncredited role in jingle all the way dude we have to do that next for christmas come on let's do it this is it we've had deeper stretches we've had deeper stretches that that's a that's the one we I need to save in the back pocket though you know okay all right that's our that's our our Christmas you know that's our safe Christmas movie when we're in when you know well we'll get to it we'll get to it but all right all right but we can do that that's that's a bit if you want to taste a sin bad that's the movie you go watch is jingle all the

way now this isn't good this or or a good burger god good burger he's so good and good burger small but jingle jingle all the way is such a better is is a much better said bad movie though because you get to see him fly off the handle which is the best part of sidbad is when he's like screaming and shathing and stuff and you get you get you get prime that in in jingle all the way whereas here he's he's too buttoned up you know i feel like arnold is like the perfect like uh nemesis for him too like him and arnold they're a great they were a great uh ying and yang for sure in that movie yeah yeah anyways all right cool well that was first kid it's good not bad

You know, Oh, yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Oh my Oh my

Oh my Oh my Oh Oh Yeah I'm going to be able to be able to be