The Cake Eaters - 124. A Kid In King Arthur's Court

Episode Date: December 2, 2025

Heath and Brandon visit medieval times with A Kid In King Arthur's Court! The boys discuss Celine Dion, British accents, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Brandon's dead mom, the boy band Five, and how this movie completely spits in the face of time travel rules.Follow us on Instagram @thecakeeaterspodEmail us at [e-mail]

This episode is brought to you by Square. You're not just running a restaurant, you're building something big. And Square's there for all of it. Giving your customers more ways to order, whether that's in-person with Square kiosk or online. Instant access to your sales, plus the funding you need to go even bigger. And real-time insights so you know what's working, what's not, and what's next. Because when you're doing big things, your tools should to. Visit square.ca to get started.

When you're flying Emirates business class, sampling our range of vintage wines from the largest selection in the skies, you'll see that your vacation isn't really over until your flight is over. Fly Emirates, fly better. It's not worth winning if you can't win there! I just don't know if I have the heart and the soul for this. Pretty good song, dude. It's not like in sixth grade when this movie came out. All right. Near far, wherever you are, I believe that.

the heart does go on. Once more, you open the door, sorry. And you're here in my heart and my heart will go on and on. nailed it you keep going no that's that's plenty that's plenty okay nailed it though this is the kicketers podcast that was heath with the beautiful rendition of my heart will go on my name's brandon what up dude i'm still telling you that's the way it is is my number one favorite selian d r it's it's i mean it's my heart will go on is i would still put number one Oh, because you love me too, because you love me.

But my heart will go on is the Titanic one. That's why you're singing that, you know? Yeah. Dude, it's all coming back to me. It's all coming back. It's all coming back to me now. There were moments of gold and there were flashes of light. Dude, fucking, uh, Slead Dion goes hard, man.

Like, have you seen the Ariana Grande impression of Celine Dion that she does? It's actually incredible. Like, it's, I worry about Ariana Grande sometimes, like, you know, like it just, you know, she got, she got to like, you know, like when you get to the unhealthy level of skinny and it's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, it's like, you just, you just get a little worried, you know, like you want, like it's okay to be skinny, but you also need a little bit of something on there to make sure that you don't get tipped over by a. swift breeze you know yeah i feel you i when i get like it's insane but like if i lose weight like it looks like scary right away like i moved to colorado and i lost a whole bunch of weight from hiking and i want my friends from high school and was like from hiking it was from hiking i dude i had wednesday thursday off i went like on crazy five 10 mile hikes that was because your your nose is bleeding all the time that's

It can't just say things like that. Anyways, why did I sing Celine Dion? Because this is a freaking stretch, Brandon. It's not a stretch. You sing Celine Dion. So we're doing a kid in King Arthur's Court. Fantastic movie. This movie was so fucking terrible.

Oh, my God. It was so bad. I loved it. I think Kate Winslet is in this movie. That's why we're seeing Titanic. is because he was unrecognizable in this movie exactly the fucking same dude did she she looks she yes because this is this was 95 Titanic was 97 right so this is like right around the same time i don't know i just yeah i guess i didn't recognize daniel craig right away

i was like oh son of a gun okay james bond in here with a little training montage let's go i thought Daniel Craig was the Black Knight for sure. I thought he was the Black Night for sure. Daniel Craig, Kate Winslet, Joss Ackland, which is the reason we're doing the movie, Hans is in this. Dude, Hans isn't great in the movie, but King Arthur leaves a lot to be desired in this movie. You know, he's a real... Josh Acklin turned it up. He does, they, the, whoever wrote this script really leaned into, like the way too much into the old English.

there were so many thous and dyes and if you put s on the end of every word um and it was like no they they did not talk like that man oh no come on that was i laughed it made me laugh constantly at how they put it on the end of words that never in the history of ever have ever had that like it was it was wild everyone's old english was really great stuff but yeah kate winslet is in this movie she plays uh the older princess princess sarah crushes it dude i don't understand how you didn't recognize her she looks outside of the in titanic they titanic her head was uh her hair her hair was redder in titanic but that's the really the only difference she looks again it's like a year apart she looks exactly the same gorgeous gorgeous as ever

don't sit here remember don't sit here saying i'm a ninny hammer just because i didn't recognize i did i pulled up english stuff i'm gonna speak i thought you i thought you're quoting the movie a ninny hammer is a fool or a simpleton so don't see here i know what i know what i didn't recognize kate winslet it could have been i i don't know what it was i think she didn't look like herself in this movie but maybe i'm just she definitely did she's yeah really yeah yeah remote dude dude dude dude dude you are you are a real grumbletonian i'm just gonna do i'm gonna start you are a grumbletonian a person who is always unhappy and complaining oh brad dude you grumbletonian what was uh what was the word from uh from

what was it persnickety oh yeah personally yeah you're very persnickety i am a galumpus a large clumsy person person that is who that is me to a tea i am definitely a galumpus and a ninny hammer for sure a moon calf actually a foolish unstable person this is incredible this is incredible a loiter sack dude that's i mean it's i i thought i got a kick out of their terrible english accents and everyone trying to speak in old english they you're okay first of all terrible english all of these people are English he's no I mean like British accent sorry like they're like British accents yeah some of all of all of these people are British they're not putting on a fake accent oh they well they made it seem fake

because of the because of the script is fucking terrible that's why they script is so bad it made their accent seem yeah Kate Winslet that's incredible Kate Winslet Daniel Craig and Josh Ackland are all British Well, I wasn't talking about them. I was talking about, like, all the others. I would imagine, like, they might be British, too. Because I guess it's the way they just, like, you're right.

Nobody else talks in this movie. The way they had them speak in the old English, but like the weirdest form of it, it made it sound like you and I were just making up old English tomfoolery. Yeah. All right, Brandon, we've got, what are these roller? Bates, Brandon, these things that roll upon my feet. We got, we, we, we definitely gotta, we definitely have to talk about. I'm in my mom's car.

Sorry, dude, I've been watching. I've been gonna, dude, I got on like the British meme algorithm of TikToks. Yeah. It's really a bye-bye driver. Have you seen those? I've seen those. Oh my God, dude. The one of the girl where she's like,

She's like, I'm in my mom's car. That's a great one. And then the mom's like, get out my car. Oh, no. Like, I think I left for like 10 minutes. Like Vine was something else, man. That's how the sawdudes. So that's the account that it's like day whatever of posting vines until they bring it back.

Okay. Yeah. It's some of those like old heaters from Vine, but the saw dudes, right? That's where they, that's where they saw. saw the simi bros dude yeah i was really hoping i was really hoping for a uh a seemy valley shout out in this movie but they don't do it they got uh calvin from recita and then they banish him to rancho kookabungo at the end Calvin from recita so he's playing in his baseball game and by the way this dude this kid

fucking sucks at baseball both in rookie of the year I was going to see the same thing. I was like, this poor kid keeps getting cast in baseball movies where he sucks in baseball. It's incredible. I like this kid. What's his name? Thomas Ian Nicholas. Oh, yeah, he's a, yeah, he's a, yeah, he's a he's an American pie.

He's in a bunch of stuff. Oh, that's right. I forget he comes back in America. Yeah, him, he's, he's great. He's great in this stuff. But he, yeah, but he sucks at baseball. but he is not good at baseball there they're he's playing you know you just it's a wood bat league they're using wood bats yeah at that age that's they're not getting many hits that well it's it's it threw

me off because there's at that age a wood bat league is insane my especially because did you see where they're playing there's they don't even have a fence why are we doing a wood bat league when you don't even have a proper baseball field oh man this is another one of those things what because what was it was like uh i'm fully back in i'm fully uh backing on baseball i've been listening i listen to the world series on the radio i'm 100% ant heath i'm back i'm back on my baseball shit hell of a game seven hell of a game seven and guess what my bet is still does i tell you about my bet my bet my bet's still i have a i have a futures bet of a futures parlay where i did WMBA champion, the World Series champion, like all the champions or whatever, I bet $1,000, I can win $44,000, and guess what?

We're halfway there, halfway there, dude. That's incredible. I can't. I just need, I need Chiefs, Super Bowl. Okay. Oilers, Stanley Cup, and then the one that I'm probably not going to get. The risk I took was Lakers NBA title. Oh, no way.

you know unless they make it unless they trade lebron dude skinny luca unless they trade lebron that's skinny they're not getting through the nuggies in the thunder i have zero faith in the nuggets zero faith well that they'll be all right uh anyways dude skinny luka dude so you're right about the i mean the baseball was the the wood the wood bat league was wild what do we

why they're like fucking they're like 13 years old what are we doing a would that for so i feel like this is kind of like red don where it was like oh this this scene was shot by someone who doesn't understand how bullets work you know it was like this scene was shot by someone that has no idea how baseball no for children especially it's like they they saw it's like no king griffie junior uses a wooden bat i mean i had a wooden bat as a kid just to like play in the backyard yeah but like a little slugger yeah yeah yeah but like a woodbat league at that age is crazy yeah and yeah yeah i was just when when as soon as the first kid was like yeah maybe swing this time i was like oh son of a gun he's not good again like why do they keep we they

could have made him they didn't need to make him bad right like well no because he needs to he needs to become the hero that's why okay so that's why he's bad because he needs because then oh that's right because then at the end he uses his training to to hit the ball yeah It's a frozen rope. Technically, it inside the park home run because there's no fence. You would get stuck. Did you know what made me laugh the most in this movie, though, is him in his baseball outfit the whole time. He's sleeping in it.

Like the fact that he's just sleeping in his baseball. And also, I thought it was hilarious that they didn't do what these movies. Like, instead of like just making the food look normal, like, they made a joke. about how like any of us would think the food back then is like the most disgusting thing we've ever seen as like agis and beef or like pig snout and stuff is incredible he he hated the food and he he when he makes her big max it's not a big mac first of all he did not make her a big match you don't know why he had these special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions on his sesame seed bun was not there he just had a double cheese right yeah he had a double cheese burger

with tomato on it which a big macs don't have tomatoes and b yeah just sang the song tomatoes would not they wouldn't have they wouldn't have had access to tomatoes at that time tomatoes are native to america they're not all be patties cheese special sauce and that drove me crazy when he called it a big mac i was like you you god damn fucking liar i just made me laugh so hard they i was like oh my god he's absolutely cooking her cheeseburgers as soon as he's this is I don't know I don't know why we also we also have to so bad but I actually really enjoyed it

we also have to talk about his his backpack he brings a backpack to the baseball game first of all wild choice wild choice not like a not like a like a like a backpack yeah a duffel bag yeah no yeah it's just a backpack and then and during the earthquake he goes back into the dugout to get his backpack and do you know what's in his fucking backpack do you would you like me to list you the items that were in his backpack that he brought to a baseball game he's well the walkman that's a good

that's a good technically disc man this that's what i meant this man disc man roller blades he's got a pair of fucking roller blades in the back you got to and from it's called transportation brand he's there his family drove him there his terrible terrible family uh he also had a gigantic flash light in his backpack what the fuck was that about safety if you're rollerblading home brandon in the dark yes when he pulled out the flashlight in the caves i was like what the fuck is this he might he might have been an eagle scout brandon well he had the swiss army knife that was the That was the other thing you had.

I actually, I loved it so hard when he was like, even better. I got a Swiss Army knife. I was like, yes, yes. When Swiss Army knives were like, I remember as a kid. So I have in my notes. Had to have a Swiss Army knife. You had to. I never carried a Swiss Army knife, but I have in my notes.

I had one this big. Oh, like you might as well not even ever had one. It was like a little baby miniature one. so i never my parents are like this kid's never going to use this swiss army night but he won't stop asking for one so they got me like a keychain version of one to shut and shut me up so i never i never carried a swiss army knife um they're just so fucking big is the problem and it's like what am i like i don't know like you need a backpack to carry it i'm not going to carry a backpack everywhere but so i never i was not a swiss army knife kid but this and then i remember uh psych

remember when like he's always talking about how is he's a trusty swiss army knife um and then i started to think to myself should i have been maybe that's where i went wrong in life is i wasn't carrying around a swiss army knife yeah i mean think you think of you think of how much more successful i would be right now if i was a swiss army kid you know well because if you what you could have really used some of the discipline that um you learn in the eagle scouts and the boy scouts you know like young brandon that's that's the problem they kick me out of those things so quick well see that's the problem brandon it's not the swiss army knife it's you it's it's but like just being a degenerate and having a swiss army knife is still being a degenerate just you have an awesome

swiss army knife for even more trouble you would have you tried you would have used it for ill not good that's that's very true you know what i mean like you wouldn't so like i i tried i tried scouts they kicked me out i tried uh karate they kicked me out dude you are a terrible kid i'm so sorry like it's i'm sorry i didn't have a mom okay i was just about to say something like that's gonna say jesus it's almost like you had like a traumatic childhood where one of your parents passed away suddenly i don't know i will i will say it's like you're acting dude you unlike the the kid in the first kid you had a reason to act out I will say I got kicked out of both of those organizations before my mom died.

At Fandual Casino, you get even more ways to play. Dive into new and exciting games and all of your favorite casino classics, like slots, table games and arcade games. Get more on Fandual Casino. Download the app today. Please play responsibly 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. If you have questions or concerned about your gambling or the gambling of someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario at 1866-531-2,600, to speak to an advisor free of charge. This Giving Tuesday, Cam H is counting on your support.

Together, we can forge a better path for mental health by creating a future where Canadians can get the help they need, when they need it, no matter who or where they are. From November 25th to December 2nd, your donation will be doubled. That means every dollar goes twice as far to help build a future where no one will be doubled. seeking help is left behind. Donate today at camh.ca.ca slash giving Tuesday. So you just sucked. Oh, yeah. And then you're like, well, now at least I have an excuse to suck. Yeah. Now we're cooking. And now I have sympathy. I have sympathy that can be leveraged into poor behavior.

from these idiot adults i will say though this the sympathy uh was very weird to to handle that that drew me off more than anything really oh yeah especially because my my mom soon my mom let's let's delve into therapy hour here um because my mom passed away in the middle of my sixth grade right right smack in the middle how old are you in sixth grade 10 12 12 right well i would have been 11 at the time 11 okay um yeah uh like like like christmas break she passed away um and so when we came back when i came back to the to middle school it was real weird and i had two in sixth grade we did like a it was like a history we had like a home room yeah and your homeroom was technically two classes it was history in english yeah kind of

together like the two teachers were like a team for your homeroom kind of thing and then and then you split out yeah and then we would we would have home room and they would do everything except for math and we would split out for math in elementary yeah yeah so yeah so that's what like the sixth grade set up to you was so like you have your home room and then they have their core one and then you split out for whatever else yes yeah and so the two the history english the core teachers i had they got real sympathetic with me real quick and it it was weird to handle okay i could imagine that especially from like teachers and like friend it like you just like they they they bless their hearts they were trying their best they uh yeah they would like take me to

lunch every once in a while like yeah like one like well i guess one on two it was like one-on-one lunches uh one on two but yeah it was weird oh i was not i was not prepared for that kind of you know especially especially older older female attention i was not prepared for that no Oh, my, I would have, I would have handled that poorly as well. That would have made me, that would have made me so, because you know what's better than that? Just going to lunch and being a kid. Yeah, instead of having to eat lunch with teachers, that's the worst. That's the worst possible thing that could have like that.

Yeah, that's like the dumb. It's like, what do you want to talk about? My dead mom? What are we doing here? They're probably doing. Because then the worst part about it is, it's like they're trying to be nice. and all those things, right? So it came from a nice place.

So you can't be a dick about it, but also you're 11, you know what? Everyone's favorite thing to do is an 11-year-old boy is. Let's go eat with my teachers. Awesome. Like I've never met an 11-year-old boy before. Let's go. Let's go eat. Let's go eat Panera bread with two 35-year-old women.

Let's do that. And they took you to go get hospital food. That's the word. That's what Panera bread reminds you a hospital food. Well, it wasn't, we didn't have, uh, the Panera wasn't in Denver, or wasn't in Colorado at that time, but we did have, uh, the Atlanta bread company, which was like, it was like right next to the middle school, too. So that's where, that's usually where we went.

That's, that's, that is wild to me. It was like, I would, I would have probably handled that poorly on accident just because I'm like, what? Yeah. It was, uh, anyway, it was, it was, it was, it was weird. It was weird. Anyways, all right, King, King Arthur's court. That was, that was incredible.

So, so he gets sucked down an earthquake hole after he chokes, doesn't even swing the bat, doesn't even take a chop at that picture. That's the worst part, man. Didn't even try. Didn't even, didn't even give it a try. There's nothing worse. Swing the bat, you'd strike an out looking, man. That was always, that always sucked. Yep. And dude, if your sister is roasting you about swinging the bat, you're in trouble, dude.

She wasn't just roasting him. She thought he was going to die. She was like, I'm taking your room. I forgot about that. She didn't just think he wasn't going to hit the ball. She thought he was going to die. Oh, and then he gets, he gets, he gets sucked down the earthquake hole to um king arthur as an old man and merlin just died marlin died a few years earlier is what they say yeah but but his like spirit that's trapped in a well yeah is what brings him back called called for help which caused the um the space time continuum yeah yeah you get it you get it yep pretty self-explanatory yeah pretty that's why this was a good movie quite got 5% on rotten tomatoes i saw that so low that's that's insane that might be the lowest

rotten tomatoes first kid which we just talked about had 21% yeah it's 5% rotten tomatoes did you know they made a one of the lowest sequel to this oh uh a kid in aladdin aladdin's palace yeah which uh what's his name the the same kids in it uh thomasy and nichols but um so they made the sequel but disney pulled out disney didn't want any part anything to do with the sequel so it was uh just whatever the production company was disney was like we're out i don't we don't want this anymore they also this is based on a uh mark twain uh story oh is it yeah the mark twain story is a connecticut yankee and king arthur's court i believe disney has uh tried to do movies based you know loosely based on that because the the mark 20 book obviously doesn't have a

it's not a kid playing baseball that it gets sucked down there but um disney's done like three different like takes on that story and they're all terrible no they're all fucking terrible did i also loved lord belasco and his whole deal hit that whole character was so bad and i i couldn't look away from his hairline it honestly honestly it made me want to start growing a ponytail like him oh dude i've been thinking about that for a while doing a skull it yeah like a holkogen ask skull it you you do holkogen and i'll do lord belasco um and then we'll just we'll fucking kill it dude dude you know i could do a whole cogan too it's good huh 26 inch pythons brother You got to do the facial hair, too, though.

Every. I don't grow really well right here. So I would have to, I don't know, have to make sure that mustache really gets in thick. But every time Lord Belasco was on the screen, his overly acted unhinged parts were so, I just, it was so. Every time Lord Belasco was on, I was like, this is just. so bad his his weird beef with it was anyways it was i did i got to pull my notes on my i did not understand his his motives or his plan because he was so he was going to marry kate winslet but so she's the so she kate winslet is in love with daniel craig's character

Daniel Craig's character is not a knight He doesn't own any land He's not like a noble He's just a sword master He's a commoner And so he's he's a sword master He's his name is master cane

So he's like the sword master He's like He's not a night though right No he's not a night He's not a night He's a train he's a trainer Basically Yeah yeah but he's not a knight

He doesn't run any land And so uh king arthur is like you can't marry him because he's a he's a fucking bozo dude yeah um i'm trying to make bozo come back by the way um but yes so brony so she she can't marry for love so she's like in that case i don't you know i don't fucking care who i marry let's just uh so they so they plan the tournament to decide and so and lord belasco's trying to get in there he's trying to marry her so he can run cam a lot but his whole thing is he like throughout the movie he's like no i don't they're like why don't you just join the

fucking tournament he's like he's like no i don't want to do that that sounds terrible he doesn't want to have to do it he just wants it doesn't want to have to work for it but then you get to the tournament at the end which he does end up joining and he dominates he's the best fucking night around why was he so scared why was he so scared to join the tournament just join the fucking term is scared i think that he just didn't want to do it And I think he just wanted to straight up get that freaking crown. I guess, but I mean, it didn't, didn't seem like the tournament was giving him any trouble at all. He could have, it didn't.

It was a plowal. He should have probably not made it to, he should have, if he did make it to the final, he shouldn't have won it, right? And technically they cheated, right? He won. Yeah, because technically they cheated because what's his face? Daniel Craig gets knocked off his horse and completely knocked out. yeah and um uh the kid in king arthur's court what's his name calvin freaking calvin just

takes his stuff goes in there they cheated lord belasco one called him yeah like but the point my my thing is yes lord belasco is a as a bad guy but like technically he won he won but and then like he's with his other plan to like he's so over the top with his other plan that it's like dude lord like lord belaska like if you just took a fucking chill pill laid low and won the tournament nobody would have had an issue you know yeah just don't don't be a fucking weirdo leading up to the tournament nobody's gonna try to take it away from you that well my god he couldn't have spelled out that he was a weirdo bad guy in any plainer english exactly king arthur you know and kith's like oh jesus i trusted him it's like well you're the only one everyone else

thinks he's a creep like have you spent five seconds and heard that's it every time he spoke i was like god this line of dialogue is terrible like it was so bad like the script whoever wrote this script should actually be kind of ashamed of themselves because it was one of the worst things i've ever real it was awful it was it was so bad but i still i don't know what it was about this terrible see and i there's a picture of kate winslet and i still don't think it looks like her anyways um that looks exactly like her dude i don't freaking see it i don't see it you don't i did she looks exactly like she does in titanic just titanic she had red red her hair i haven't seen this movie in a while so when when when was last time you saw titanic

dude you got to you got to rewatch titanic remember why did dude did titanic titties dude you can just go on the internet and go straight there you don't need the three hours of titan you need the you need the context you got to have context for titties oh my god anyways you're just raw dog and tities dude no i just i don't i i don't the titanic was good i watched it in the theater like we went it with a group of people and i think I watched it maybe once or twice outside of it and that was it. I didn't really need to.

Both six. Since this is a dead mom episode, my mom loved Titanic. She took me to the theater multiple times to see that movie. Oh, geez, okay. Yeah. Titties and all. Oh, my God.

You shouldn't have me, it was me singing my heart will go on. That's what triggered all this, Brandon. Like I just, I triggered a core memory for you. You're welcome. No, no, no, it got triggered to see she's popped up on, on Kitting Yard's score. I was like, oh, damn.

I'm a big, I'm a big Kate Winslet fan. She's legitimately one of the most gorgeous people I've ever seen in my entire life. The tricycle that he has the blacksmith build is the worst thing. I think it's a quadcicle. Wasn't there four wheels? Oh, I thought it was, well, it looks, it's a tricycle. it's got just a little like it looks like a tricycle for little kids they're yeah but i think it had it had two wheels and then it had the two support wheels so

yeah it was a quadcicle yeah well it was a bike with training wheels yeah quadcicle okay whatever shape and then the makeshift the makeshift roller blades this this blacksmith dude epic that's that's what i'm saying like he stomped all over the butterfly effect Stumped all over the blood or five. He played the rock and roll within three seconds. Yeah, like his his defense to put one headphone in each of the like noise things. Oh my God. Your music won't help you this time.

He's like, I don't need it. Well, I forget what. Oh, it's so bad. When they catch him and they're like, you can, you have to battle. uh lord belasco but you can choose the type of combat and what is he what does he say uh because he he picks the music he's like uh what the fuck kind of combat did he call it oh let me see if i have it he became the headless horse man well that's at the end when he was hiding his what the fuck does he call it

what was it again uh what part of the movie was it it's at the very beginning uh when they capture him and they're like you have to battle lord belasco um in combat but you can choose yeah i thought he chose rock and roll yeah but he called it something he called it like musical combat or something like that it was so it was something so stupid that i can't even think of it go he says combat rock combat rock yeah what the fuck is that chooses combat rock and then blast him with his walkman disc man yeah this one sorry it's like that was no clamor that was rock and roll yeah combat rock go fuck go fuck yourself and him not being able to find the bathroom was funny to him i i just kept cracking up that he's sleeping in his big

baseball uniform like he's in that baseball uniform at all times every day like just just nonstop he did take the baseball pants off to sleep though um and then he was just because he's rocking the undershirt and uh and the boxers and that's when his love interest uh princess kate comes in she was a bit of a pervert honestly yeah dude and uh when he gives the king bubble gum mad dog bubble gum do you remember that uh yes but though when when hans has the bubble gum all foaming at his mouth he's like what do they call it mad dog i don't know that was so and when he swallows all right it's like oh don't swallow it oh that was a funny interaction with it yeah just another just another chance from to stomp all over butterflies and completely

changed the timeline that's that puts world war three in south america or something i don't know like it's just you knows what what impact on the timeline people in england having roller blades before any other technology and having training wheels for a bicycle the roller blades were crazy when a a in the fact that he's got fucking rollerblades in that backpack and then he then he gets the blacksmith make uh katy a pair and they're just fucking mobbing down the castle always took her on a picnic like he was a real romantic with katy it's i'll give him that like took her on a bicycle picnic like took a rollerblading like he was a real rescued her like he was a real man throwing on that receipt of charm yeah that's

oh he yeah this this movie was something else i don't know i it just for some reason it tripped my bad movie trigger of like this is terrible but i'm all the way in daniel craig like that whole training montage of daniel craig all in there um i thought daniel craig was the black night so when kate winslet debuted i was like oh oh kate well i didn't say kate i said princess sarah because i didn't know it was kate winsland i thought it was just an actress i can't believe you didn't recognize kate winsl not even in the slightest not even in the slightest did you recognize hans at least i did okay recognize him right away yeah oh yeah no this fucking this movie um when uh when they're going to rescue her and uh

because she gets kidnapped by lord belasco um and they like ride the horse up because he's in like he's in a he's in like a different castle right yeah so they're right up to that one um they're like swimming through the moat to get to the the secret passageway they go through all this this whole ordeal um where they get they savor they're trying to get out um and then out of nowhere um they're like cornered and king arthur goes man i wish i had a scallow and he's like oh you're talking about this thing i don't know where he pulled that out of where he was keeping that did he have it the whole time yeah yeah he was carrying something he was had it wrapped in garb okay did you miss that i i saw him before i was like i was legitimately

confusing where the fuck he pulled that out from he there might have been a moment or like because they when they were first leaving and running across to courtyard or something he had like a package in his hands he was like running with stuff in his arms don't i don't remember him carrying a big thing the whole entire time though right but that's what i was going to say i don't think he was carrying it the whole time i think that he had it at the beginning and that's my brain was like oh yeah he had that when they first left because i feel like if you're carrying around a big fucking thing the king would the king would be like oh is that a what is that is that my sword yeah well do you got do you have my fucking sword there dude king king arthur was pretty happy

in this movie like he he thought belasco was a normal dude while he was trying to you know there he was basically stalking his daughter within his own castle and he was just over there eaten haggis and pig snout yeah yeah um but oh and then the other thing when they're when they're we're trying to rescue her and the the the dude uh you know catches her grabs her and he has her like on the he's about ready to push her off the castle yeah he pulls out the disc man and blinds him with the laser what the fuck was that that was epic that was like that whoever the writer was it never used a disc man before no that's not how it works like that's like if a if a modern kid who had never interacted with such technology

where they would saw this movie they'd be like no kidding no wonder they quit making them you could blind each other with your disc man if you open it up. It's like, no, you couldn't. That's, that is absolutely not how disc man ever works. No. It's insane. And then the dude ends up falling.

And it's the worst green screen fall you've ever seen. It was so bad. I think I kind of, like, I, this was, this is what you wanted Congo to be for me where it's, it was so bad and it was so nonsense. I was just kind of chuckling

through the whole movie of like this is bad like this is but like it was I remember when it came out and I remember renting it and being like dude what is this what is this fucking piece of shit that I just spent my dollar on and I was not a fan of it

I owned this on VHS and I loved it as a kid I was all about it yeah I was not a big fan as a kid I would I would turn always watch it if it was on like but i remember being disappointed i it was never like go rent you know that was reserved for the real bangers like surf ninjas you know that's i also just you have to watch surf ninjas i've seen i've seen surf ninjas it's one of the best kids movies in like ninja kids movies of all time you're ridiculous um going back to the disc man though when he when he's blinded him with the lasers the guy like oh the the other guy's

like oh what is that and he calls it like the great equalizer right yes yes it like zooms in on his face when he says it it was like so it's supposed to be so dramatic but it was again the worst line ever written yeah it was it was it was just it it it deserves all of its 5% on rotten tomatoes it really does right like it it it deserves all of its 5% To be honest, the fact that it has a 4.8 out of 10 on IMDB is pretty a sound high. That's like, I'm really shocked that. That's so high. I got to jump into some of the reviews and see what these bearable sends a positive message funny.

Entertaining and fun. This guy gave it seven stars. This is a seven stars from Travis Moran. This is incredible. We got to get Travis on the pod. okay so this is a kid's movie and a good one i like time travel movies a lot especially when the traveler takes up with him like the inline skates so he wants the butterfly effect yeah the wooden bicycle is awesome taking the night's place and the jousting near the end was

predictable but satisfying and king arthur and princess coming to the future told you at the end made for a good wind up to the future because like i told you off air man it seemed like they came to the future though brandon no but katy was on second base when he when he goes up to hit at the very beginning of the movie she's already there maybe that's the butterfly effect though that's probably the butterfly effect um this is i don't think they went to the future though i think what my theory is he fucking fell asleep on the bench because he never plays he's a fucking loser and he had a dream where he fantasized about his teammate falling in love with her and uh winning over her dad who happens to be king arthur um that's my theory he's i'm not a doctor though the rest of these

reviews are um one of the worst live action offerings from disney shockingly awful oh nine stars super cheesy but four-year-old me loved it all right nine stars that's worth the nine stars it's um i i thought that that um he also calls out the fact that it's uh based on the um a connecticut it Yankee and King Arthur's Court. Okay. Yeah. 15 people find this helpful. Nice. An awkward family adventure film, five stars.

Interesting. Anyways, it's, I was really surprised, 4.8 stars on IMDB, because it's, it's a rough movie. It's very poorly written. It, Daniel Craig crushes his role, you know. young daniel craig i i thought daniel craig uh i think all all the actors uh even fucking bolesco blasco i thought did a fantastic job with with what they were given well because they made his character the weirdest person in the whole world like the way he was like creeping around

the castle and then the shit that he would say it was so weird they're still calvin's doing the training montage right he's in there with with everybody princess kate's in there i don't know if princess sarah was in there but princess kate and uh daniel craig's character are in there training him and lord belesco walks up and goes uh are you ready to fight a an actual person and pulls his fucking sword out on him and goes to kill him and everybody's just standing around yeah welcome to england in the late time it's you know i watching that's when he gets kicked in the balls and watching this movie and thinking back on rookie of the year i could have used some more thomas ian nicholas kids movies you know like we could have used two more

bunch dude yeah but they didn't get as hyped like we could have used two more movies where he was bad at baseball to kick it off you know like i could he used two more movies where he's like yeah yeah this kid's real bad at baseball let's then turn him into a hero you know what this movie could he used is a little julia little julia cat i mean let's see here he was in uh yeah rookie of the year a kid in king arthur's court um a kid in aladdin's palace and then it goes to american pie 99 judge and jury he was in that 96 i don't know what the fuck that is oh is uh in in the 80s he was in a lot of tv oh he was in harry in the he was in the henderson's the tv series the tv series yeah wow i didn't even know there's a tv series that's incredible

he was also in uh an episode of bay watch an episode of married with children and double trouble here he was in an episode of who's the boss as well as the tony danza show yeah do you think him and close now tony dames do you think him and tony dants are like best that's right he was in he was in Halloween resurrection that was a good he's he's this I just feel like you know they miss an opportunity have you seen Halloween 10 of his movies between 95 and 97 have you seen Halloween resurrection no are do you have you seen any of the Halloween movies I mean back in the day in like middle school I'd watch scary movies with our you know with the parties or whatever but I'm not a big scary movie guy Brandon like how Halloween

Wean Resurrection has Buster Rhymes in it. Oh, nice. And Buster Rhymes puts on the performance of a lifetime. Stop. Dude, he steals the show. But Thomas E. Nichols is in that to you, as well as Ryan Merriman, the dude from Smart House. He's in the resurrection as well. I just watched Smart House, actually.

Is there a way we can do that for the Bond? Is there a way we can do it? Yeah. I don't know if he's smart house. Dude. when they when when when pat throws him the party and then they um him and his buddies practice their dance for the girls it's so i think i think i've brought this up on the the show before but the band that they listened to is because i thought it was o town but no it's five the greatest

the greatest british boy band of all time that album i think it's just i think it's self-titled I think it's just called five. That album that Slam Dunk the Funk is on is a masterpiece of boy band music, dude. That, I love that album. I've been trying to find the vinyl version of that album for decades. And the only place I can find it is on, there's like a weird web store based in the UK that has it. You'd have to go to Europe. They won't, yeah, they won't ship it to me.

Yeah, because it's. So I've debated on flying. to the uk to buy that vinyl and then fly back um smart don't get me started on five as well as the girl band the girl band that the sister listens to bewitched another oh another great right another great uh uk pop band say you will say you won't say you'll do what i don't something like that say you true stay to me say i be oh dude me and be wish hey boy sitting in a tree something something that's another great that album that's another great pop album that song's a banger kelly put that on in the car a while back and i was like oh for everybody listening if you

like pop music at all go listen to five and be witch they are amazing top notch british pop that was a mouth that was a mouthful to say the uh when because they did that sale of e song for like one of the disney channel

concerts right but both so both beitched and five did Disney Disney was like all in on them during that time yeah they they had uh that was when they were doing like weird like live concerts yeah and yeah both of them did that oh dude that that that That bewitched live concert of Sayla V is just the absolute heat, Brandon.

You got to check it out. Sometimes it pops up. I've seen it. Sometimes it pops up on my algorithm and I'm like, oh, yeah. I am all in on Bewitched and five. They are two of my favorite pop bands of all time. I fucking love them. I'm so glad five came up.

I love five. I can talk about five all day, dude. Kelly and I are meeting at our dad to watch the game. Oh, you know what we need to do? you can have to listen to that song on the drive over you definitely should listen to listen to listen to listen to um so outside of slam dunk the funk listen to uh party line 555 banger absolute banger and then um listen to uh when the lights go out that's a that's the sexy song that's the that's the that's the that's a baby making song when the lights go out someone did uh someone redid that one of the baby when the lights go

did that something something one of the like american boy bands oh because that that's that's my that's my baby making song is when the lights go out dude did five maybe it was just dude maybe it was just i was just gonna say like this focus because because okay so the five that is a cover of somebody else that's a cover of uh jim a lion and kyle murcada no no i i just brandon i just think that i was listening to five as a kid and i thought they were someone else like i kept getting them confused with otown i thought all these songs were other people i thought maybe when the lights go out was uh is it a cover no david guetta does baby when the light

Oh, maybe it's not a cover. I don't know what Google told me it was a cover, but then when I go to Wikipedia, he just not see it's a cover. But yeah, when the lights go out, slam, dunk the funk, and then, uh, dude, party line 555 is my favorite. That's a, that's a fucking banger. Listen to those on, on your drive. Man.

I just, I had no idea. I was a five fan. I thought they were. Oh, dude. I've been, I've, I've been shouting from the rooftops ever since Smart House about how great fibers smart house was an incredible movie i wish there was a way we could do that one because that's a disney movie worth the watch i'll have to look that up and see if we i'm also going to look up halloween resurrection to see if we can if there's a way we can do that because you got

you have to watch that just for bust around's performance he steals the god damn like i'm legitimately he steals the show that's insane but um yeah um well cool i mean i don't know brain i don't have too much else to say we didn't talk about king king king Arthur's court too much because it's like it's just a bad it's just it's bad it's it's terrible it's it's 1995 hour and a half live action Disney movie where they tried to like they tried to make it work but it's it's so terribly right it's I do have another plot whole thing I want to talk to you we talked about Lord belasco why didn't he just join the fucking tournament but also so King Arthur she so Princess Sarah can't

Mary, Daniel Craig, Master, Kane, yeah, Kane, because he's not a knight or nobleborn or whatever. It doesn't only land. But, and he can't enter the tournament because he's not a knight until at the end, like right before the tournament when King Arthur is like, oh, I'm going to open it up to everybody. Anybody can join. And then that's what allows him to join. But like a couple like before that he makes um calvin a night why could why why didn't why aren't we just making master kane a night and letting him compete or just make him a night just let him marry i don't know um but brandon i want to come out come come come back to this because you and i have been touch that so revealing mistakes okay i mdb they put this in the goofs they put it in the goofs

as calvin steps up to bat for the first time princess katie can be clearly seen in a knight's jersey that's exactly what i told you travels to camel that's what i'm saying but they put it as in as a goof that's because they're stupid I don't know what to tell you, Brandon. In the in the in IMDB they say it's a goof. It's not part of the movie whatever first of all, goofs are still part of the movie just because it's in the goof section doesn't make it not canon.

I'm just saying I don't think you understand how anything works. I'm just saying that she yeah she's in she's in the scene. No, I know, but it's a mistake. Because she, everyone agrees that her and King Arthur traveled forward in time to go hang. One person agrees with you and he gave the movie a nine, nine rating. He's not a reliable source. Technically, he gave it a seven. My apologies.

He is not a reliable source. I'm just saying, Brandon. That's all I'm saying. So what do you? So are you proposing they jumped in after? They, yes, like Merlin sent Katie to go be in love with Calvin. I was. And then Arthur is just like, yeah, dude, this kingdom's in good hands with Kate Winslet.

So I'm going to come with and just be, I'm going to get some of the get it down on some of these rollerblades and Big Macs. Also, they called out the poison to may or poison apple that it's in the goofs. It's like, no, no tomatoes in this time. no tomato and no tomatoes on big mac so what you're saying is so what you're saying with me is everybody agrees with me no they agree with you on the tomatoes so they don't agree they agree with me i'm willing they traveled forward in time i'm willing to to accept that as a possible theory that they jumped in after him only because i was thinking when he's when he's getting ready to to leave and he's talking to katy and katy's like don't ever forget about me like i love you ever

you know we're so we're just the happiest couple ever in the world i was thinking to myself like when he goes back into the future i feel sorry for every girlfriend that he ever has after this because he's because he just had the love of his life he's going to constantly be like you're no katy you're not you're no katy that's true he's never coming back from the expectations that he's going to have of of women in present day is going to he's going to be the worst boyfriend ever yeah because uh you know making rollerblades for someone isn't a big deal you just spent some money to get down the street you know yeah but yeah yeah he's just that every buying her shit every girlfriend he has from here and out is going to be constantly compared

to Katie. It's Canadian Tire's Black Friday sale. With the lowest prices of the year. Hello, can we go? Limbo again. Shop the Black Friday sale at Canadian Tire and save up to 60%. November 27th to December 7th. Conditions apply. Details online.

So when she popped back up, I was like, okay, well, at least we can dodge that bullet. He's not going to trauma. You know, he's not going to emotionally manipulate any future girlfriends. uh anyways i i don't know i i'm i kind of enjoyed this movie i'm i am of the belief that it was a dream that's my theory i'm willing to accept the theory that they they jumped in um right after him and they i i guess i'll accept that that's a possible

explanation and at the beginning they ran out of extras and they're like no one's going to notice katy on second base they do it they it's on purpose that she's on second because she she's the one who scores right before him and then she turns around she's on base because it's not like it's not like she came out of the dugout she was on base in front of she was she was the person who hit right before he did and i guess she would have had to be there already because of the time otherwise the time the timeline wouldn't have worked out right because anyway i don't know i don't i hate time travel movies yeah but also a wood a wood bat co-ed league wild wild i mean but shout out to calvin for saving camel i you know in his baseball

uni didn't even didn't even they didn't even attempt to give him clothes of the day you know they just kept him in his baseball uniform he did get really good at job casting them shout out to calvin there he was better than master kane master king got his fucking ass kicked yeah uh but i i do he was wearing that baseball uniform 24 7 and he was doing a lot of stuff he fell into the water multiple times uh he had he had a lot of training montages in this i think it was very similar to to first kid where they were like guys we don't have enough movie we need we need more training let's let's do an extra like daniel craig we think he's up and coming let's get a few more training

montages going yeah this movie this movie was so fucking terrible though it was i mean god bless the act the actors and the actresses they were trying their hardest and they they the performances are are fairly good when you consider what they were given because it was the the the script in the writing is terrible i this is it was so bad i kind of enjoyed it it wasn't quite bad enough it wasn't the right kind of bad for me to start enjoying it you know yeah this i mean this is i was i remember nine years old 10 years old when this came out i remember them all coming out it just it was like i said i when i i remember as a kid i loved this movie i had it on vhs i watched it all the time i remember as a kid liking this movie coming back to it though it is i think it also

maybe i this is similar um where i think i was just do it caught me at the right time where i was like i was in a good mood i was doing a few things not paying attention i was paying attention i was just doing multiple things while i was watching you know this is just like you said with first kid this movie is great if you don't watch it it's it's it's just like if you're doing the dishes or you're sweeping real quick you know or doing a quick swiffer in the kitchen like it's a perfect movie to put on what's what's your cake you give me i i've got my two cakes solid two cakes right on the flat two flat right on the button just two it's real bad it doesn't just two flat round cakes yep it's just it's like two you know what it is it's too it's a it's a it's a two it's little

debbies man it's it's it's not good it's it's we're going to see it's uh two like two two titanic titties oh jesus christ no it's it's like two little zebra cakes they're good you don't know why that's they shouldn't be good what do you mean what do zebra cakes are amazing what i'm just you don't know why they do it's almost christmas tree uh cake season dude i freaking are those are those are those just called christmas tree cakes yeah they're just called christmas trees oh dude i and there's nothing wrong with any little debby's like i like a little bit of them all nutter butters fudge rounds oatmeal cream pies zebra cakes star crunch don't sleep on a star crunch you know what i'm you know what i'm a i'm a sucker for is that cosmic brownie oh

that's because of brownies are good i like all the ones i listed ahead you got to throw it in the fridge though you got to get it chilled that's the key chilled cosmic brownie nice okay i mean i don't mind i did little there's they they you know just like everything it's slowly become just fake everything you know and there's no natural ingredients anymore but man you know you you think there was originally natural ingredients now somewhat somewhat you know there's it wasn't quite as i just dude i love god bless you god bless you god i love some little debby so man it's uh it's good there was it i went through a zebra cake phase a few years back where i was like you know kind of just need some zebra and some nutter butters you know you got to you got

you got to chill those two chill the nutter butters that's their key well otherwise they just melt yeah like i would even fudge round too man when i was younger i loved a fudge round i wasn't super big on the fudge rounds there's too much chocolate there's yeah because they're not there's nothing about a fudge round that like when you look at it on paper pretty like oh that looks appealing it's just this like chop but something about it loved it yeah i'm gonna it's crazy that the fudge round is too chocolatey for you but the cosmic brownies okay yeah i i never chilled a fudge round though maybe maybe if i chilled it i would like it more yeah yeah give it a show i'm a big chill guy you know nothing about you as chill um all right

um what's it what's your cakey rating i give it two cakes a solid two you give it to I'm this was this was bad this was real bad something good about this movie but something about I and like like first kid before this I didn't care for that but I liked that so much better than this um fuck I'm gonna go one one point two five for kidding King Arthur's Court 1.25 you rated it lower than um what are those terrible movies that i hate that you always make his deal buddy games no i i gave buddy games like a zero oh let's see let's go to the tape here i gave uh i gave the original buddy games i gave a flat one and then uh buddy games too i gave a point

five so those were way worse okay all right you're lucky you saved yourself okay I mean, it's not a good movie, like you said. You know, he's terrible. I think you're just jealous because you're not chowling on box, you know. I knew I shouldn't have even brought up buddy games. I knew I shouldn't have. I knew I should have. You hated Congo because you're not an Amy guy.

And you hated buddy games because you're not a box guy. You're not a box guy. Not chewing on that box. Brandon. You, uh, you, uh, what, what was the line from the second one? The fat, the fatter the, you. Chalupa, the sweeter the... What is it?

The fatter, the fupa, the sweeter, the chililita. That's what it is. Thank you. Oh, Brandon. I hate you. Those... Those movies were legitimately terrible, though. They were the worst things they were ever seen.

That line, the line from the first one where they're at the bar, and he's like... Because he's out of money. He has no money. Yeah, he can't buy her a drink or anything. he's trying to get a girl to buy him a drink yeah he's like i'll chow on your box for a week that's so that's so long i don't think you understand how long that is i do it's seven days i know i know you you you you know how long it is but i don't think you know how long it is oh my god i don't know what to deal with any of that okay i one one one one one two five

though. 1.25 kid. 1.25. King Arthur's Court with James Bond and Rose from Titanic. And Hans. Yeah. Good old Hans. And the American Pie kid.

Well, the rookie of the year, kid. If he's known for any of the year. Do you think he's known for rookie of the year more than American Pie? I think American Pie was more popular. But I loved those movies and did not know that it was the rookie of the year. year kid see i think that's what i think that's what it's like i don't think they recognize it as him i thought it was two separate people two completely separate people so um shout out him yeah

thomas i nichols yeah nicholas thomas in nicholas also in hallowan resurrection hans crushed it too we gotta we gotta get you we gotta get you on the bust of rhymes train i mean i like his music his music is Topnot's team. You know.