The Cake Eaters - 126. Karate Kid: Legends

Episode Date: December 30, 2025

Heath and Brandon dust off their Kung Fu and Karate skills with Karate Kid: Legends! The boys discuss Brandon's hate for the original movie, the fighter names, Jackie Chan, wingman Alan, and prime Joshua Jackson.Follow us on Instagram @thecakeeaterspodEmail us at [e-mail]

It's not worth winning if you can't win there! My fire, the one, desire, believe when I say that I want, I want it's a word, can't reach, can't reach to your heart when you say that I want it that way tell me what Brandon tell me why ain't nothing but a hearty tell me why

Brandon I thought you were going to keep going I was I did so much of it I was ready for the whole song I was ready for the whole song. I never want to hear you say that I want it that way. Am I your fire, your one? It's a good karaoke song.

It's usually a hitter, you know. Yeah, hitters, dude. People enjoy, I want it that way. That was a Backstreet Boys, you know, legend, legendary song. Probably the most popular, right? Yeah. I mean, I don't know how it can't be. The, uh, the scene in, um, oh my God, Brooklyn 9-9. The scene in Brooklyn 99 with Jake Peralta in that song. And he's like, tell me why. That's him. That's the one that murdered my brother. And he's like, oh, my God. I forgot. That's why we're in here. That will, that's like taking over that song in my thought process. Like that's like for better for worse. Every time I hear that. song um i think of that scene now but for this one we hear the one and only what's the same arthur we hear arthur singing it to him on their day or that's what i said alan did you

watch this movie did i actually kind of like this movie this hit all my bad movie um you know like based on an old movie that i kind of enjoyed you know like it wasn't i i don't know what it is was about karate kid on the airplane but i was locked in brandon i was all the way locked in to watching karate kid on the airplane this one right legends no no the first one oh see i i pregame this one with the first one it was a good move yeah especially since they brought back danielsen i uh not a big karate kid fan you know this he's brandons why could you not i i purposely did not we watch any of any karate kid stuff before i had i had did Karate Kid 2 and 3 to my list.

Since you forced me to upgrade my plan for a month, I got to milk these commercial-free opportunities, you know? Yeah. I'm not a karate kid. Although I did enjoy this movie. It's not good, but I enjoyed it. No, I just, I think it's way better than the original. No, it's not way better than the original, but it was good. The original, the original movie sucks.

No, Brandon, stop. don't talk this movie is barely rated higher than um than what you want call it than downtown owl yeah that makes sense i kind of enjoyed it i don't know and i thought that it was nice that they reference back to danielson and mr miagi like that was fantastic way to kick off the movie and then we got jacky chan dude we have the we have the trifecta he's well i thought do what are your thoughts on jacky Chan, because I was all in on the Jackie Chan craze. Like when him and Chris Tucker came out with Rush Hour, Brandon, I was like, holy cow, these, this is, is there anything funnier that could possibly happen than Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan on the screen together? You know, like, I just saw, I was like, what a dynamic do?

I thought they were going to have rush hour 25. Like I, in my mind, when that first one came out, I was like, geez, this, this made this this. They should never make They never stop There's no reason to ever make a different A different movie Exactly like these two on fire like that Chris Tucker

Come on that guy was That guy was on fire during that Those movies anyways Rush hour is great I'm not a huge I honestly I don't know Other than Rush Hour

I'm not a big I'm not a big Jackie I don't mind him But I'm not like a big Jackie Changa I couldn't honestly Outside of this in Rush Hour I don't know if I could name you a different jacky chan movie i think he's in the around the world in 80 days disney yeah yep he is now that you're not very good um i did love what was what was the

the shanghai nights wasn't it weren't he in that with owen wilson maybe i don't know oh hold on i got to look it up now brandon god this is why we need to produce here you're just you're so dumb you don't know any of this information i told you i don't i couldn't name another jacky chan movie Shanghai noon and it is Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson and all right hold on what else do we got he was he wasn't he wasn't mute mayhem the teenage new digital's me and mayhem oh yeah he's master splinter yeah okay so I can name a kung fu panda oh is he do voices in that okay yeah yeah okay um what else do you got here around around maybe damn is the spy next door I've I've never seen any

kung fu panda movie is that bad no it's not bad i don't mind them kelly's not a big fan um shanghai noon she is jack black so that's definitely not up her alley okay so shanghai noon is the first one and then shanghai nights is the second one they doubled down on owen wilson and jacky chan they thought it was going to be rush hour it wasn't yeah but did you still enjoyed it did you ever watch um the other the the i guess the prequel to this right with uh Jackie Chan and jaden Smith did you ever watch that one no I did not not up to date on the cannon I see no no and I can't I will skip that one all day but I'm gonna go jump into karate kid two and karate kid three with Daniel son and Mr. Miyagi

there's three of them there's three of them she can't wait that's too much sweet the leg Johnny what happens and what what's going on in the third one I have no idea I don't think I've ever seen the second and third I didn't know I was like because like I am I crying karate kid goes to college or something no it just says karate kid two and karate kid three and there's just swipes it's just one two one two three old school brand you know what this you know what this uh what I was thinking of this whole entire time watching this movie was uh how good the first one was blood sport kumata oh nice yeah this kind of was the kumatae it's like the u.s base

They weren't they weren't fighting to the death though I need I need fights to the death if they're like they're remaking all kinds of fucking movies why in the world would you not remake Bloodsport they've tried they have they try to make remake Bloodsport with I don't know I just know they've they've there's been multiple scripts and multiple tries at it but nothing ever I don't think I don't think they've actually made anything because I think they get pretty close to the the time for production and they're like oh wait nobody wants this i mean this this so tell the people why we're doing karate kid legends have we even told them why we're doing this movie this should be the most obvious thing of all time why we're doing this movie fucking charlie conway is the main goddamn character charlie conway as the former boxer pizza owner in the Bronx is that might be my favorite version of charlie the freaking boxer pacey dude like this is josh jackson in this movie was awesome and he was svelt too those shirt off boxer picks oh my lord brand this if you're if you've ever been a joshua jackson fan this is this might

be your fucking movie to delve into because so you get you get uh you know great father figure i mean he's well yeah yeah took out the wrong loan sharks yeah took out the wrong loan from the wrong people we've all been there you get yeah you get wise old man uh father joshua joshua jackson um like you said he he's a boxer so we're in great shape for former golden gloves right yep we're looking amazing and you he's we got salt and pepper hair too he's Salt pepper hair and beard. What do they call that? Like a silver fox.

Yeah, yeah. He's not quite, not quite silver because he's still got, he's still got, it's, it's more salt and pepper than it is silver fox, but, but yeah,

he's, this is, like you said, I don't think this, this is prime Joshua Jackson. I don't think he gets better than this. Sorry, Rumbling the Bronx was another good Jackie Chan movie.

Okay. Do you ever watch that one? Yeah. Anyways. All right. keep on but sorry hit the button i accidentally muted myself joshua joshua jackson in this movie is just incredible yeah lights out freaking he stole the show oh my god yeah i i best best part of the movie i actually i like i was in on this movie like

i i didn't i going into this movie i was like damn it they did it again they keep remaking all this shit and they make keep making it worse and so that's why i was like you know what let's just i haven't watched the ogy for a while couldn't figure out what to watch on the airplane watch the first karate kid and i started getting excited i was like all right love this they're bringing back daniel son you know like they're they're bringing back jacky chan from the one with will smith's kid and you know i'm going to give this an honest shot and then i was locked in you know even even the bad acting from uh lee fong wasn't you know wasn't the worst it wasn't it wasn't it wasn't it wasn't bad

no but it could you know like this movie could have really been something if he had brought the chops but also I feel like Daniel LaRusa is losing a step or two he was never what's his rat Ralph Machio he was never very athletic

in the first movies and this movie you know did him no you know favors but I did love that he was just holding down the fort and Mr. Miyagi's you know pad which was a pad with all of his fancy old cars, dude. That was

especially for San Diego, I think, right? Is that where they were? Oh, I have no idea. I don't. Southern California, yeah. California love. But that, I mentioned earlier, we had the trifecta. The trifecta is in this movie. I don't know if you, if you caught all this. We have dead brother,

dead mom, dead sensei, dead mentor. T trifecta. a lot of dead you know um figures yeah yeah dealing with a lot of grief you know a lot of grief that these these these people are equipped to handle he's the kid that played lee fong did a better job than the bad guy kid wasn't the biggest fan of the bad guy uh Connor yeah Connor. Okay, classic Connor, dude.

Oh, hey, be nice. You know, we know Connor. He's a good guy. Do we know what Connor? Yeah. I mean, I know lots of Conners. What Connor are you talking to? He's related to Kelly.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Classic Connor. Classic Connor. You think Connor is going to beat him up in the Kumete? Well, no, what was it? The five boroughs. Yeah, the five boroughs. And I just, I don't know.

I was, I do want to point out, the five boroughs. only had 16 contestants I feel like it should have been bigger that's true I did think it was going to be a bigger tournament yeah and also the five the five the five people in the five boroughs though leads me to my favorite part of the movie though he okay is the fucking names of the people that are competing in the tournament the first person he fights his name is Buddha Stevens that's the greatest name of all time and was dressed as Buddha. He was really leaning

into the character. It was almost like wrestlers. Dude, I was, I watched this. No, no, it's exactly. I have all the names right here. It's exactly like wrestlers. But Buddha Stevens is such a perfect name. For a fighter, too.

For anybody. For anybody. That is a legitimate, perfect name. And when I heard that, I was very upset that that wasn't Lee Fong's name. Lee Fong should have been Buddha Stevens. it's such a what were some of the other names i got them right here you want them yeah so we got lee fong against buda stevens and then uh the next one he the next person he fights after winning

that is queen's tornado nice yes uh and queen queens beat uh clive king that's not a very good one then we had a blue barrett julian steel that's a great name yeah then we had blaze maxwell nice that's a good went to a lot of four-star names. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's a great one, Hank Henderson. Then we got alliteration. Then we have Connor Day, which is the bad guy. And then Connor's first opponent was Dante the Inferno Smith.

Nice. Yes. And then we had, I'm so upset we didn't get to see the, this guy is, the next guy is Ford Finnegan. I would have loved to have seen. I need to see what Ford Finnegan. looks like karate ford finnigan because i don't think of karate when i hear ford finnigan no uh but then ford finnigan faced off against ghost holloway nice that's a great name yeah and then and then we had

uh lions maine martinez and then we had uh diego the anvil torres oh nice do you think lion's mane is for the mushroom or do you think it's for the animal part But if I remember correctly, the dude had long hair. So I think it was like a hit, you know, it was for the, the actual lion's mane, not the, not the mushroom. I would have been better if it was for the mushroom, I think. Yeah, yeah. And then we had a samurai Jack Lawson. That's a great fucking name.

Got all of Samurai. Mom, did you record Samurai Jack for me? Do you remember that from Grandma's boy? Yeah. And then the final, the final guy to round out the tournament was Griffith Green. Oh, that's a good one too, Griffith. But, dude, Ghost Holloway, Ford Finnegan?

Ghost Holloway is one to be jealous of for sure. That's a, that Ghost Holloway and Buddha Stevens are like, those are perfect names. Yeah. No notes. No notes. You are so silly, Brandon. That was my best, that was my favorite part of the movie.

I was like, oh, I got to, as soon as I saw it. Queen's tornado. I was like, I got to delve into this fucking list. So silly. Buddhist Stevens, though. Boothin fucking Stevens is such a great name. I might name my kid that. Should we just give a quick synopsis to talk through the movie? I mean, I don't have a ton to say about it. I just, I was blown away by Josh Jock because at first I was like, oh, Josh.

you a Jackson, the former boxer, is this, is Pacey believable as a boxer? And then they went, tarps off on the training scene. I was like, oh, son of a gun. Pretty sveled for slinging pizzas, you know, not very doughy in the sinus, Brandon. Well, I mean, he's, he's running from loan sharks. He's got to stay nimble. You can't, you can't get fat when you're running from load sharks, you know. That's very true.

And I'm surprised he doesn't have more pat, like, you know, like he's got the like pizza paddle thing. but he needs like a baseball bat or something yeah yeah for sure because yeah he yeah he didn't come out i'm trying to remember when uh when they were trying to jump him in the alley he just walked out yeah he didn't even bring any weapons no he's just facing the music yeah and then little uh little li fong saved his life yep he did get fucking so so he got clocked with that two by four yeah um And then there was, um, one of my favorite things about these kind of movies is how, how much damage, uh, like these like fight scenes inflict, but people just get up and walk away like nothing happens. Like there's, there's a, in that fight scene where they're in the alley, there's a moment where, um, they're like hanging on the, like the, uh, fire escape ladder ladders, right? And Li Fong kicks one of the dudes. And the dude, like, like flips back and hits his head off of a dumpster and then falls on the ground that

dude would he would have died in real life he's dead he's fucking dead and he just got got up like nothing happened it's cinematography Brandon you don't know shit about fight is that like I saw that when I saw that scene happened I legitimately went like when he hit the dumpster I went because I thought he was dead I thought he was fucking dead I was like the rest of this movie is going to be the legal defense for him just killing somebody and them dude the guys that

jumped his brother because they lost and them jump into stabbing him so that's another thing another thing with these movies is I it it's I know these movies

I feel like do they paint karate and martial arts in a very negative light because it's I feel like with these movies there's if I was just

if If I knew nothing else about karate or martial arts and all I had were these movies to go off of, I would think there's two types of people that do karate and martial arts. One, legitimate sociopath murderers and two little fucking nerds. Those are the only people that do karate and martial arts. No, wait, dude, come on, surf ninjas, three ninjas. You're watching the wrong karate movies, Brandon. All of the bad people, the bad, the non-main characters in those movies that also do karate are all. all sociopaths. They're all fucking murderers.

Yeah, but you, well, you know, there's always two pads in karate. It's kind of like Jedi. I didn't know. I didn't know it was that binary though. I thought maybe there was a little gray area, you know? Or at least I was hoping there was, but apparently you're telling me there's not. You're telling me if they do karate, they're a murderer

or they're a nerd. That's what you're telling me. You're telling me my suspicions were correct. Karate is like the Jedi, Brandon. Like, you can either be the light side or the dark side. Good to know. Yeah.

So we all know which side you'd be on. I will tell. Are you learning karate? Well, there's Kung Fu and Karate because, you know, Daniel's son was karate and Jackie Chan was Kung Fu. And that's where they were doing the same thing, but different. Well, you're forgetting a very important part. that everything everything is kung fu everything is kung fu this podcast is kung fu yeah always always has

been we didn't even know oh i knew i knew i knew you did you did yeah i mean i did enjoy it like when i went through my three ninjas surf ninjas ninja turtle phase there was a lot of ninja practicing going on i think i had some knives and some size dude oh yeah you see you would have but you would have been the stabbers. You would have been the stabbers that were upset that they lost. People are lucky they didn't come into Wayne America, you know, like between this and Red Dawn, starting as a as a ninja and then moving into, you know, a freedom fighter and Red Darn. Like, I was a badass kid, dude.

I fucking dare you, dude. I dare you, dude. Come at me, dude. I dare you to kidnap me and take me out of your ship and not tempt me to find out of it with my two friends and then help by our grandpa that is. you know secretly a karate teacher yeah I dare you to not do that goodness

but in big trouble Rocky loves Emily Rocky loves Emily you are right though when they when they showed the scene where his brother gets stabbed to death that was yeah crazy yeah and he just you know he was

a he was a freezer Brandon he was just frozen he was a he was a tombstone frozen pizza brand and he wasn't going anywhere not great under pressure no no he was just he was crumbling and he almost dude he waited until that nine count before he got back up at the end too yeah yeah yeah i did like the montage fight scenes the garden that they practiced on was that all the the garden montage was legit the pizza shop montage was pretty tight too yeah love that love that and him and yeah him and charlie training for the one inch punch dude yeah loved the one inch punch and them using it oh dude charlie was just lights out in this movie joshua jackson

he'd get him crush he he deserved an oscar nod for his performance in this movie i don't know about that but i do oscars are a joke i did love that they kept uh they kept calling him stuff crust too that was such a good middle school like in the fact that he came in to a new york pizza shop and asked for stuff crust was a good joke that was a good that was a really good joke i i giggled really hard i i giggled real hard at uh i giggled real hard at toilet paper too when he was like oh yeah i need the way he asked instead of saying like hey is there a place nearby and get toilet paper he's like you guys know what else do you need toilet paper stuff crust pizza and toilet paper we've all been there step crust pizza sometimes makes you

need that extra roll or two a toilet paper brandon dude i haven't had stuff crust pizza in probably decades i just remember it not being good i was never a huge fan it was always more disappointing than it was yep um unless you had just an endless amount of marinara to dunk that crust in there's no point. Well, then at that point, you're just eating more pizza. Yeah, exactly. Cheese pizza. Yeah. But you were saying you were, you were going into a New York story. Oh, I just had New York slices authentic from the city. Sabarro? I did make that joke a couple times. Someone was like, oh, I just want to go get some, you know, some New York pizza. And I was like, I know, I haven't seen a Sabarro anywhere.

Are they still? I crushed it. I don't know. Where's the mall? That's true. Dude, I miss the mall. It was, it was so good.

It was, oh, dude, just grabbing a couple of slices before. And they had this barbecue chicken that was lights out. Oh, oh yeah, we definitely got, we got,

Sabarro's still around. Some authentic New York slices. his bray littleton not too far from you southwest plaza and the mall yeah southwest plaza dude i thought i did think sabarro was just lights out pizza when i was a kid because you know we only had we only had pizza had her godfathers so like it was like oh it was like a whole different style you know and like they'd make like little like meat different kinds you know and like calzone it's like what it calzones dude what just a bread pocket of meat and cheese what could be hitters some authentic italian right here oh dude i had an olive

garden the other day oh oh love that shit dude don't even get me started on freaking olive garden brand and people don't understand how good it is and especially when they've got the bottomless breadsticks and salad going with the endless pasta bowls and then they you know they let they give you breadsticks to to take home with your leftovers so you just gorge yourself and you got like my advice get the dips for the breadsticks just do yourself a favor get that alfredo get that cheesy marinera and you will be in hog heaven and you're taking you're taking your whole meal home then i like to get the little usually i get the little trio one with the uh chicken parm the petichino of it yep Oh, good. Come on. That's the best one. And so usually I like to get that. And then I'm so gorged on salad and breadsticks because of those delicious dipping sauces. And I'm basically taking that whole to our own. I'm taking two bites of each and then taking it home. And then they're giving you fresh breadsticks to take home. Second lunch.

Do you go at lunchtime on the weekends? There's no one there. That is the that is the clutch time to go is you got to go during lunchtime. With a crispy, with a crispy Coca-Cola. Don't even get me started on all of Gar and Brannon. We fucking love it. Yeah, so Charlie Conway is a pizza shop owner, Victory Pizza. He's, because his name's Victor. Did you get that connection? Victory, Victory.

I didn't care. Didn't even know that Pizza Place had a name. Yeah, Victory Pizza, man. a huge neon sign yeah don't give a shit oh my god how did you so you didn't care for Connor you didn't like the bad guy

yeah what was a fan what about the main bad guy the lone shark where you order his thoughts on man he wasn't bad on Tim Rosen he wasn't bad you know fine fine bad guy I remember what else he was in style bad guy

I know him from somewhere else too what was he in I did like I think that my favorite that was just the montage they did such a good job with the training montages and then the fighting montages and the end fight scenery of them being on that rooftop was so good he's that's he's butt from from schitt's creek that's how i remember tim tim rosen he's mutt in shitt's creek do you ever watch shitt's creek um it's been a while but i did find that show very funny david and what's her face a little bit

i'm a little bit something was it a little bit amy i'm a little bit lexas Alexis, that's what it is. You're right. I don't know what's. I think Amy, I think Amy's the actresses name. Isn't that her song, right? And then she's like,

a little bit. I'm a little bit naughty. Yeah. Oh, no. And Annie is the, Annie, not Amy. Amy is the actresses name. Annie Murphy.

Yeah, Shet Creek was great. Yeah, O'Shea was the lone shark guy, head of demolition. Jim, didn't listen, Jim, right? Yeah, it was. Joshua Jackson's daughter, Mia, she did a good job. That was a good job. Oh, yeah, she was great, yeah.

Dr. Fong, the kid's mom, she's in stuff too. She was in Agents of Shield. She's in everything. Yeah. Anytime they need an Asian lady, boom, she gets the call. It's a Mingna Wen, I believe, is her name. yeah she's uh do you know she's the uh the voice of moulon too you know that oh i did not know that brand and she was in let's get down to business and she's uh to defeat the hunts she's chun lee too

in the uh street finder the original one chunley oh yeah yeah yeah i have that movie on my amazon prime it was it's another one of those unhinged movies that i had on vhs got it got it for like a dollar i think in the movie bin dog days they would uh back when i was a kid they would always have um dog days and like it would be in july and then all the businesses and main street and stuff would put out racks of the shit they were trying to get rid of at a very cheap price in the movie theater would always put out like old VHS that they were trying to get rid of that never got rented anymore um and that's how i snagged d2 that's how i snag so many of my this yeah no really cleaned house james in the giant peach i think i got from there freaking

love that movie dude yeah uh anyways ming na wen she's in yeah she's in everything chunley moulon dr fong does it all agents of shield that's where i know from uh-huh yeah it's good i don't know like this movie we got that was dee's it wasn't bad we got to talk about Alan too Alan uh gallon crushes it I loved when he's when she's like inviting them to like the little festival or whatever and uh Lee Fong's like no I'm I got to work on my calculus my homework and Alan's like dude you're because he's his tutor yeah dude you're fucking crushing in a calculus right now look at this you're amazing and then she walks away and he's like wait am I really doing good on calculus no you've all these are wrong this is literally

all wrong. I was just trying to make you look good, man. Alan, top-notch wing, man. Him singing, I want it that way during the day, terribly on the guitar, was one of

the best parts of the movie. He had the best product placement, too, when she shows up, and he has the, the two champagne glasses of Pepsi. Dude, those were a couple really nice-looking Pepsi's. too. I love a good. Are you more Pepsi or Coke? I think I grew up. Nebraska's a Pepsi like distribution place. So I grew up and that's Husker Games. It's all Pepsi in there too,

you know. So we're a Pepsi household. Okay. I don't have strong allegiances either way. I probably lead more Pepsi. But yeah. I love wild cherry Pepsi. That's my one favorite. Well, Cherry Pepsi shits on Cherry Coke, dude. Oh, 1,000% except for in when they had the old black can with like the red lettering. That cherry Coke tasted better out of that for sure. You know what I'm a sucker for? And it's about to be booming again with all the. So I love Pib, Mr. Pib.

Oh, nice. Yeah. And now that Dr. Pepper's, you know, not they're, because they use, I think he's both. Coke and Pepsi depending on the area as their distribution but they're Yeah, that's why sometimes they have different bottles depending on where you live

Yeah, but so they're they're breaking away They're doing it all themselves now So now Coke is gonna Coke's gonna start pushing Pib more So I did enjoy some good Mr. Pib It's just it's I don't It's because I don't mind Dr. Pepper either

But there's just something about Pib That hits it's harder Yeah It's hitters man it's hitters Dude, I also love some strawberry soda. Like, not all the time, but sometimes a good strawberry soda is a delicious treat. Like what? I don't know if I've-

Dude, at Buckees, they have strawberry soda. Yeah? Yeah. Fanta also has a strawberry flavor. I've never done strawberry fanta. We used to, when I was a kid, Big Mike would get me some strawberry was like Shasta, you know, like. yeah yeah like the like especially then it was like 50 cents for a 12-pack pop gets them just and it just said strawberry on the can strawberry grape cola yeah you know the real hitters yeah good old uh what is the um r c cola dr thunder is oh dude mountain lightning and dr thunder hell yes brandon you know actually It's so funny, my buddy, every time that we hang out still to the day, he's like,

dude, you guys always had the best snacks? He had just cases of Dr. Thunder. Dude, Mount Lightning and Dr. Thunder, we had an endless supply of those two sodas. But, dude, I'm looking at it right now, Dr. Thunder. What a drink. That was. I wish they made some Dr. Thunder merch. That was, that would really be where it's at.

I'm sure you could find some. Yeah, like Etsy or something. Oh, yeah, here you go. Yeah, T. Public right here. When you're done moving like lightning, refresh with the thunder. Dude, I loved Mountain Lightning, too. I would throw down on some Mountain Lightning's. Because we always, that was always, you know, Big Michael,

we always got like sodas with our meals on, because Sunday was our day we could, we would eat out. And usually we got pizza, you know, That was always the best. Big Mike preferred Godfather, so we'd get salty when we went Pizza Hut. And I had a real, I'll never forget this. I went on a real ham kick for a while, just loved plain ham, like Canadian bacon. On pizza?

Yeah, and that was it. The way you phrased that, I thought you were just slamming the ham. No, no, no, like just Canadian bacon, just like just ham on pizza. Big Mike was not a fan of that. He's like, if you don't eat it at all, then I don't. I got to choke it down. He said that about everything. Like all the all the fun cereals like he'd be like we're not getting this.

He's all great. Now I got to fucking eat it. Yeah. That's exactly like I'd be like I want this cereal. He's like, nope. We said if you didn't eat the last one, you couldn't get another fun cereal for a while. Because, you know, then I got to choke it down. Because they can't go to waste.

They're not going to throw it away. So, you know, the boss, Mama Dee is going to be like, big Mike, you got to finish this shitty. You know, like I'll never. ever forget like one time it was like a football cereal and it tasted like nothing like it was like it was just like made four kids to buy football shaped cereal with a football box yeah it just was dog shit cereal big mic was so pissed i also had like that's sorry this is a weird tangent but there was also like these jello cups where you could collect like proof of purchase and you got like of like the dream team at that time it was like 96 and dude i got i like got burnt out of them

and so big mike's like we're not getting in did you get all the damn dream team things you need because i'm not choking down another fucking jello guy that's classic oh my gosh that's amazing good old big mike man he was the best he really was and he was so good at saving the proof of purchases for those like mail and stuff i've got like six of those like NFL team hutch footballs they're selling but one of them was something for like 35 bucks on ebay i was like who's paying 35 bucks for this little hutch football do you still have them which one oh yeah yeah i've got um packers of course and then 49ers chiefs steelers lions okay so not bad like uh i'm remember because there was a couple different um it was the tombstone pizza like dude we got after

tombstone pizzas it was my favorite thing as a kid so we were we were we were a uh um it's not tostinos that's the chips uh red baron no or totinos totinos i don't know why i wanted to put it mama d big mike was uh like mama d and big mike were tombstone only like we were a tombstone pizza household, they'd wait for them to go on sale, and as soon as they go on sale, they'd buy like 10. I see, we were big We'd literally leave Walmart

with 20 frozen pizzas. I see, well, Totinos, you had the there was the party pieces, is what they called, which was the square ones. And they were like, um, personal ones. They were perfect for like, just the, you know, like, oh,

I'm going to be, you know, you're going to be home alone tonight throwing a fucking, 15 and they were like 99 cents you know dude we always had to make two because i could get i like i still to this day tombstone pizzas are personal pans like when i was the kid still to this day sometimes there'll be one slice left and so we always had to do two frozen pizzas because i would basically do one yeah yeah so i got really big really fast there's a lot of calories that needed to get packed in you know and it's also do you words but anyways so do you have uh is it um is it the plush ones or is it like the actual no it's like the actual football i do have the

much plush packers football and husker football because the plush ones were those were those were sweet and i i i missed i had those uh i had the uh because i wore does that you could you get the whole fucking uniform essentially from Hutch, right? Where you get the pants, the jersey, and then the plastic helmet. I used to have a Broncos.

I had a hold John Elway. So I did that for Halloween when I was a little kid. I was John Elway. So I don't, I'm pretty sure that Broncos plastic helmet is gone though. I did. There's no chance it would fit me either right now. We had to throw it away because it got gross,

but I did find my old inflatable pack helmet and I man that was one of my favorite aloines I am so close so close to buying a full-size like authentic helmet off of fanatics and wearing it to the games I don't know if I'd wear it to the games I don't even know if they'd let me in with that if I would if I wanted to wear it at the game I'd have to buy it at the game yeah but I I 100% would wear it while I'm watching the game at my house 100%.

It's fucking throw that bad boy on. Every time I go on Fanatics, I'm like, it's 150. That's not that much. That's not that much. Yeah. Oh, God. It is pretty cool. I did run it by Kelly, you know,

because we're going to be with the baby, but I ran it by Kelly. I told her I would rent her friend for December 21st so that we could go to the game and she isn't that the Jags game that you have the tickets I was gonna say is that the is that the Jags one thought it was let's see but I told I was gonna get her rent just rent a friend like you know yeah yeah you're right 21st December 21st so that's the plan that's that's the hope that's the plan we'll we'll rent a plus

one for the day for Cal and then should we get to go okay who's a Who's going to be the plus one? Who's the renter? We got a few options. We got a few options. We were just getting a nail down one and maybe two. Okay. Emily.

Are they cool? Are they cool? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So my suggestion was they come with me to the Bronco game and you just stay home.

Oh. It's, I mean, they're not going to have. How about you stay home and spend time with your kid, Heath? They're not going to have a sick dad. Oh, my God. Every, every time we have a conversation, you sound more like Ray Mysterio, every day, every day. That is, oh, dude, I do love dirty dom. I don't watch wrestling anymore now that the pay-per-views aren't on Peacock.

It's a real, it's been a real kick in the dick, and I'm not watching Raw. You know, I'm just not built like that anymore. So, it's just, it's a real bummer. I miss, I've enjoyed watching Saturday pay-per-view. you know I enjoyed watching WrestleMania fucking ESPN they ruin everything they do

they just suck at everything they do used to be the worldwide leader now they're just enemy number one enemy number one all right we haven't talked about the movie for a good 10 to 15 minutes do you have anything to say that wasn't

the bad movie but it also wasn't anything like crazy we're talking about it's if you enjoy the karate kid and you want your kid to watch the old one and then watch this new one not a bad day you know it is it is not a bad thing to do it is your stereotypical like Netflix well I was going to say it's your stereotypical uh well it's not it came out in theater season it's not a

Netflix movie oh sorry I thought I was a Netflix movie anyways all right keep on unbelievable what's in the heck like you didn't even watch the fucking movie dude but i did it's it's a stereotypical uh like money grab sequel movie but it's a really well done one like as far as these type of like sequels like nostalgia money grab sequels go it's one of the better ones i've seen i agree i thought that it was a good balance on the nostalgia it wasn't it wasn't overdone it was like the well i think i think that's just i think that's because i mean rip god rest his soul

mr miagi has passed um i think if he was still alive it would have been they would have hammered that home you think they were waxed on waxed off you know paint how did you down i just feel about jack it on jack it off dude i don't know also there's that scene where in that training montage where he is uh he he he's like on top of the of the of the the ladder thing and he's doing like uh the sit-ups the sit-ups with the chat that that would be so incredibly hard yeah i'm not built like that i don't think i don't think anybody's built like that there's no way that was real lee fong was there's no way that was real you don't know so i bet jackey chan could do it in rush hour there's not a fucking chance jacky king can do that come on oh i bet i bet there's

a scene in rush hour where he does that i i i jacket on jacket off was a little weird to me that one threw me off yeah no one needs to be jacking off i don't know maybe more people do it is uh maybe that maybe that's our problem he's we're not jacking off enough anymore everyone to be a little more calm yeah well it's it's no net november brandon that's why well that's what i was going to say until i this this is going to come out uh in the end of december so you're wrong oh now you've look like now you just look like an idiot uh welcome to the party pal this this movie wasn't terrible but it wasn't good

it was but i enjoyed i enjoyed more than i disliked i will say that yeah that's fair i'll say yeah it's it's not good but it's not terrible it's the it's the heath of movies it's god you're the worst but it's also kind of spot on You know, it's just, yeah. Joshua Jackson crushes it, though. Yeah. It's, this, this is, because of the nature of our podcast, I recommend watching it just because it's prime Joshua Jackson. Yeah, he's looking, he's looking very good in his age.

Yes. Yeah. Looking very good. He's still got the acting chops. He's still crushing it. Yep. So, yeah. If he's acting, he's crushing.

he's doing great stuff yes uh so yeah i highly recommend um especially for the purpose of this karate boxer dude like come on karate boxing well and then he gets taken out he gets the fucking shit kicked out of him well because he gets jumped they cheat brandon they're cheaters winners never cheat and cheaters never win write that down i think they did win brandon just go write that down no no i do that all right i would have anything else to say right damn jack it off jesus are we about ready for cakey ratings i know this isn't the longest episode

but i don't ever a lot to say like joshua jackson was awesome as a pizza guy i enjoyed his uh the girl that played his daughter did a good job i thought that they were all solid thought that was a good storyline like how they got introduced and how they became friends that was all fun dead mom you and her take his themes just a couple twinsies

dead mama trauma I loved that that was that was on the fucking AI he talks about dead moms will you will you put that hashtag in your hinge profile hashtag dead mama trauma no no no no

I can put trauma in there you know well i've i've done the i've done the work he's you know i've uh what does what does joshua say in the in this movie you either deal with it or it deals with you you know yeah that's actually great great advice yeah you've already dealt with it oh yeah years with you years of therapy i'm proud of you brandon thank you you didn't need to say that but i appreciate that it's so dumb all right what do you what do you do there is there's this insane unhinged husker football podcast that could have been us if we went husker football instead of ducks

where they fly the victory minkus after each game and it is in fact the minkus from boy meets world and then they impersonate him they're like well actually why do they do that i don't know i don't like it i just came on my ticot and it keeps coming up because it makes me laugh and so i watch them but they're like we fly the victory minkis wow that's why it must not fly very much it's seven times this year brandon fucking asshole are you going to lose your coach i think no no he signed an extension so He, like, he was knocked out of all the running for the head coaches when, like, all that hype was there.

And then they got worked by Minnesota. Just absolutely bent over a barrel. Maybe that was just to throw you off the set. Yeah. He is a Penn State guy, right, though, isn't he? Yeah. If I'm Penn State and I hire Matt Rule away from Nebraska because I fired James Franklin, it's just. That's true.

that's that's what like like i love mat rule i i've been i you know me brandon i love some rouleine i'll sip on it i'll chug some of it i'll chug it in the beginning of the season i'll sip on it halfway through because that's usually about the way it goes but uh you know as much as i love some roulead that would be the that would piss me off to high heaven if i'm a pen state fan and that's what all that would be a rough look that's a real kick in the pants that's a Mike Riley hiring you know shout out Mike Riley worst coach ever they finally

we finally got LSU finally got rid of fucking Brian Kelly though you see that yeah thank God that guy sucks did you did yeah oh Brian I Brian Kelly Brian Kelly is everything that's wrong with college football you knew that was going to be a disaster as soon as he hit this fake Southern accent

dude I was praying for I was praying for me fired every fucking day I hate I hated I hope that they bring back Because they probably won't win, but he's a good character. He belongs there. Coach Orgeron. Coach, Joe's a fucking maniacic. Yeah, he is.

Yeah, Brian Kelly is, is fucking terrible. I'm so glad that he got fired. I, because LSU, I love LSU, but they make it very hard to root for them because they always hire the worst people ever. Like, I, I love watching the women's college basketball team. And, you know, they had Angel Reese. They've been good for the last, like, you know, 10 years or so. Kim Mokie, their head coach, though, is a literal horrible human being.

Nice. She's awful. I hate, I hate rooting for her. It makes me, it makes me feel terrible. I love that. Same with Brian Kelly. Like, rooting for Brian Kelly made me feel like a terrible person. So I'm glad they finally fucking got rid of him.

that dude fucking sucks classic classic all right well let's do some kinky ratings brandon because like no offense but i'm kind of just you know i'm kind of like me on this movie i know you've been a real you've been a real debby downer these last two uh what they're gonna

how am i we're gonna lose all our followers how have i been debby down about either of these like i thought this was very passive. This is one of the most passable movies we've done. Well, I'm not saying, yeah, but I mean, just just your overall vibe, dude. You're being a real Donatello lately,

you know? Brandon, I... What's your, uh, what's your cake you're ready, though? What's your, what jersey are you wearing? Oh, dude. You'll love this. I actually forgot. I got this. Wait, so wait, wait, wait. It's number 11. Let me try to guess. Yeah. Number 11, right?

Yes. Is that a, is that a Bradley Van Pelt jersey? Oh, yes, yes, and you'll love this, Brandon. So I forgot that this was a very intoxicated eBay purchase a while back. And I just forgot I had it, but you got the plumber jersey. And Van Pelt was plumber's backup. And so when I saw this for $10 on eBay, very used, like it's a very used jersey, But it was 10 bucks on eBay.

I was like, well, I could back up, Brandon. Bradley Van Pelt, CSU legend. That was reason number two, I got it. I got to, you know what I represent the Rammies vicariously through Cal, you know? Kelly is a Rami. And so I'm married into it. She supports the Huskers, even though I didn't go to school there. I just was very drunk there on game days.

probably better for me actually to just go Saturday like just go for the every weekend if you during the fall if you would have went to Lincoln oh could you imagine there's a good chance you would have died oh alcohol poisoning for sure yeah it's something something you know who knows started out as alcohol poisoning and ended with the good stuff but um oh speaking of uh plumber i i i'm still i'm deep still deep in the auction game he's um but i have a problem i'm worried about you at these auctions man but i got a i got a signed uh assigned plumber jersey though that's that's that is jake the snake doesn't he sell weed now mushrooms mushrooms Measures.

Even better. Medically, uh, or not, because the, he's, it's not like, uh, it's not psychedelics. It's like, you know, mushrooms to, for medical purposes for like, you know, daily mushrooms that, you know, like for vitamins and all that kind of shit. I think that's what he sells. But, uh, for lames then. But yeah, so I got to get the, I got to get frames because I got to get that and, uh, Ebenezer acubon up on the wall, you know, right next to each other.

I don't know who Ebenezer Ecubon is. Plummer and Ecubon right next to each other. The dynamic duo, dude? You're just, you're literally just making stuff up. No, Ebenezer Acubon. He played for the, he's a defensive tackle. He played in the 2000s. His name's fucking Ebenezer, dude.

Then, hopefully he's on a Scrooge. All right. What's your cakey right name? Ebenezer Ecubon. Defense event, okay? born 1976 one years that he played for the Broncos here we got 2005 to 2000 wait 2005 2006 and then he came back in 2008 so and then he played for the cowboys before that Ebeney's on put some respect on his name okay him and

plumber the dynamic duo I mean I think Joe Flacco did some of his best work in the Broncos and I'm glad that I'm the individual that gets to keep his legend afoot. Just imagine if Joe Flacco had Ebenezer Ecubon on the defensive line working for him. They would have been Super Bowl champs. Those six games he played for him for the best. All right. What's your cakey rating?

Oh, gosh, my cakey rating. Oh, God, that's tough. Let's see. What do I want to do here? I think I'm going to go. I think I'm going to go like a two two four I'm going to go two four two four okay no that's that is not too bad I was going to go um 2.56 oh double desks double desi yeah I think 2.56 it's it's not terrible

but it's not good and so it's just a little ahead of that midway point curve you know okay I feel you I feel you bad yeah yeah it's like like I said earlier it's it's a stereotypical nostalgia money grab sequel but it's one of the better ones

in that genre that I've seen so yeah if if you're a big karate kid fan like Heath is definitely give it a watch or if you're a big cake years fan just watch it for Joshua Jackson yeah that'll be worth it alone he's amazing you definitely don't need to watch it uh rewatch it though just once one one's a good good shot for this yep yep nothing more

Oh, my. Oh, oh. Oh, yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Yeah. I'm going to be able to be.