The Cake Eaters - 127. Dawson's Creek Season 3: Episodes 1-5

Episode Date: January 13, 2026

Welcome back to the Creek! Time for the boys to tackle Season 3 of Dawson's Creek, starting with episodes 1-5. Heath and Brandon talk through each episode, the soundtrack drop off, Eve crashing the party, old people playing teenagers, strippers, and homecoming royalty.Follow us on Instagram @thecakeeaterspodEmail us at [e-mail]

It's not worth winning if you can't win it! So I'm thinking in honor hearing the original theme song while watching the TV show for the first time, since it's back on Netflix, I figured OG theme song would be a great way to kick it off. But start with like the course, so open up your morning line and say a little prayer for I, you know that if we, oh shit, ad just popped up right in the middle of the doing that. and covered all the words god what the fuck dude lyrics on demand you sons of bitches sorry about that i was crushing that that was such a good oh man god damn it fucking ads god that pocketpups were done that's the last time a fucking pop-up popped up for you uh anyways all right so open up your morning line and say a little prep boy i you know that if we're all to stay alive and see the love in every eye

You know what I'm talking about? For I want to know right now, what will it be? I think I can confidently say I don't know any of the words, any of the lyrics to that song except for I don't want to wait. Dude, I love that first part. So open up your morning line and say a little prep for I. You know that if we are just. stay alive and see a piece in here right i would say it's paula cole yeah yeah all cool the classic dude oh man she had two babies one was six months one was three in the war of

forty four every telephone ring every heartbeat singing when she thought it was god calling her oh would her son grow to know his father good lord what's this song about dude i know i i was putting together a little promo thing for like when these uh these episodes are coming out for instagram and tic-tok and i put that song over the the little the video image whatever and yeah i got it's that part of the song where she's talking about babies and shit and i was like what the fuck is going on wow i i i never actually listened to that song yeah you just you just do that Oh man. Oh, man.

It's season three though. Season three. It feels so much better with the OG theme song. Like it's just, it's wild. It sets the mood, right? That's for sure. Oh, my gosh. It really does just like set the tone.

I feel like I was really missing out having to watch it on Hulu with the made-up theme song that they had to do because they didn't have the rights. Well, that's just a. I think that's just. the first couple since because I was watching it on Disney Plus slash Hulu and it has I don't want to wait for season 3. Oh, weird. Okay. So I don't know if that was just the first couple seasons that it had the different one on, but weird. But it feels, feels right.

Feels like things are happening again, you know, up on. I almost said Cripple Creek like the song, but. Aipside, dude. Hapside. Oh, my God. Yeah. I got Cripple Creek stuck in my head and, you know, that's one of the vinyals I bought at the Denver record show, the band. Oh, yeah, yeah.

That's a good find. It's a good find. Yeah. I've got to teach this, got to teach this young and the good ins, you know, a little rush, some of the band. All the good stuff, Brandon. But anyways, Dawson's Creek, season three. I will say it's, it's. Along those lines, I will say the soundtrack, and again, it could just be.

Um, it could be licensing with Disney Hulu stuff, but the soundtrack for this season, not a lot of bangers, not a lot of bangers. I didn't really hear a lot of songs. If I've been honest, like, maybe it's, there's, there's quite a few still. Um, but yeah, it's it's not as many hits as they were hits and bangers as they were putting in the, the first two seasons, you know, they didn't play Sarah McLaughlin at all. I knew we were in.

for a journey when it opened up, very first seen, cold cut into Dawson riding the bus home from visiting his mom in Philadelphia. And random girl just plops down beside him and starts heavily hitting on him. I was like, oh boy, oh boy, we are in for a tree. Where in the hell is this going? I thought it was a dream at first. Like my brain was like, oh, this is a weird, weird way to start the, season three with Dawson dreaming.

Can I, can I give you some, some fun facts about season three before we get started here? Yeah, yeah, yeah, please, please. So first off, this is largely,

uh, largely regarded as the best season. Um, like you 90% 90% of people I would say, that's, that's a rough guess, but I would say 90% of people would tell you season three is their favorite. No way.

I mean, it's I like it's it's not and I will say I will say it only gets better from here because so at the beginning of season three Kevin Williamson is it Kevin Williamson or Kevin Williams Kevin Williamson uh it was the guy who created this and and wrote all this season one in season two I believe he stepped away for like the first half of season three because he was doing other stuff uh he was either doing other stuff or he got burnt out I saw both both things where he was you know but so he for the good first like half of season three it's somebody else it's like Alex was Alex Gonza is the showrunner for like the

first half of season three so that's why it's a little weird it's a little different right off the get go Kevin Williamson does come back I forget exactly what episode he comes back into it might not be till the very end but that's why it's a little bit of a different tone here a little bit of a different tone um but yes season three starts off a little weird it uh it finishes stronger i'll tell you it gets it gets it only gets better it starts on if if you're in it already we're we're in good shapes because these for these first couple episodes especially eve the eve storyline is real rough it's terrible it's i will i will say that that's the end of it she's she's gone now she's okay good good

I was hoping that it would be just a quick flash in the pan, but I, I weirdly kind of enjoyed how they made her, like, seem almost not real. Like the whole, you know what I mean? Like, it was like. Does she? It feels like she's a ghost. She's a ghost. She talks to Joey. I was going to say, does she talk to anybody besides Austin?

It's like the first season of Scrubs. Do you know what I'm talking about when? And she talks to Pacey, too, because they do. the whole strip club thing at the end of the episode one. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. But she's not a ghost.

It made it feel like the janitor in season one of Scrubs. You know what I mean? Where like he in season one, the janitor was supposed to just be in J.D.'s mind. And then he was so good that season two, they're like, okay, I think we got to make this like a real character.

Like this is a good character. But they, I don't think that they would be that good, but that would have been a pretty wild mind fuck. It was, they would have, they would have M. shamanas, you know.

That would have been wild. I mean, I wouldn't have hated it. It would have been. I kind of was like thinking, like the whole time, I was like, you know, if they pull this on me, I'm not going to be mad. It's going to be terrible, but I'm not going to be mad. It's like, I don't know. It was weird.

It was like these first four. Not a ghost, but. Not a ghost. But she is Jen's half sister? Yes. Oh my God. I was waiting for something wild. Yeah.

Do they do I wonder if they do they do they do anything more with that as like her she's gone she's gone forever? I forget uh, character-wise she never shows up again. I believe. Dude, I can't remember. I can't remember if they ever touch on it again though like just like talking wise.

Um, I don't think they do. This makes me I need to rewatch Joe Dirt. I haven't watched it in forever. I dude when that movie came out I was like a junior and high school maybe peak comedy I was like my god this might be the funniest thing that's ever been made in the history of me you know what I was watching on Christmas Day the other day uh my my dad's house because it was on I think it was on stars or one of those movie channels he has man of the house did you ever watch that oh I love that dude that's it that's a that's a rewatchable

that's a TNT rewatchable 10 out of 10 you know who's in that is uh is is, what's her fucking name? Christina Emiliano. Well, yeah, her too, but no, it's from Dawson's Creek. Is it Abby, the crazy girl from season two? Abby's in Man of the House. She's one of the, she's one of the cheerleaders. No shit.

Oh, God, that's, that's it. Monica King, she's the main one. She's the blonde. Oh, no shit. That's one of those TNT. If it's on, you just let it ride. You know, it's a good one. I'm anyway, Christina Milian is also in that movie as well, though.

Yeah. So is Cedric the Entertainer? Back to Dawson's Creek, Brandon. Yeah, sorry. We haven't even begun to talk about season three. And it's incredible because, like, we start off with the bus scene and then. With so Eve is, I don't think we talk about this on here. Eve is Brittany Daniel.

Did we talk about this? No, aka Brandy, right, from Joe Dirt? Randy from Joe Dirt. She was in, it's always sunny in Philadelphia as Carmen. She was in Club Dred. She was in a bunch of those like weird irreverent comedies in the early 2000s. Yeah, club dread was a good one. Yeah.

But so she, so my question to you, just first impressions before we get into the rest of the series, the rest of the episodes here, how old is she supposed to be? I didn't I thought it was supposed to be ambiguous like I thought she was 18 myself but then as it went on it sounded like she was 17 I think 18 would be your best bet I feel she works she works at the strip club although she was falsifying shit yeah did she did she ever actually was she ever actually a student at the school or she just wandering around she just wandered around you know that's that's that's that's that's school campus still blows my mind every time they show scenes of them walking in front of the school i'm like my god that's a that's a that's a college campus you know and in in my eyes bigger it's not that big of school but i had one building brandon and now that one building now is well they have one they don't have two they don't have that many buildings most of the exterior is just like it's like looking at like the the field one shit we have one building for seven through 12 at this might they might be they might have two buildings maybe two but still two

building but that that's a that's a pre the the security on that school campus is very lackstasical very pre-9-11 i was going to say it's very pre-school shooting but columbine has already happened oh it has okay i was you can say is this pre-collumbine 90 it was 99 right 2000 season three It aired These these started airing at the end Yeah wow okay so they probably were filming this right Because the the season three starts airing in like September of 1999 And Columbine was what April of 99 yeah so they they that might have happened while they were filming

But still like the security levels Crazy crazy because yeah I don't think she ever actually enrolled she just wandered around so I think I think I think she's supposed to be 18 okay now keep it keep in mind everybody else is 16 where juniors maybe that i know for sure dawson and pacey and joey or 16 um the rest of them might be a couple of them might be 17 they're juniors in high school 16 17 yeah um so yeah i she's i i couldn't get a read on how old she was supposed to be if she's i mean i would assume 18 um 18 or 19 and then you know who else I couldn't fucking clock how old they were was rob how the fuck old is rob that guy speaking to joey was too much for me brandon he yeah he he fucking sucks

oh my god that guy was and then joey goes about warning andy in the worst way possible but Andy mentions that he Rob went to prep school with Tim is it Tim or Tom the kids the brother that died yeah with Tim so he's like he's probably 19 maybe I would hope he looks like everybody everybody we're getting to that point where everybody in the show looks like they're 40 years old well Joey rightfully calls him like you know this is late in later episodes but when she's like she's like I hope that, you know, when you get in trouble for shit that your dad can't get you out of, the statutory style that you brought in hell.

Oh, she, I wrote, I wrote that quote down because it was a wild quote. She says, yeah, when you get, when you start getting in trouble that your dad's checkbook can't get you out of, don't call me as a character witness. Yeah. Crushed it. Crushed him on that. It's a great. I don't know.

That cracks me up. Don't call me as a character witness. Okay. Yeah, that's a terrible character for that guy. But yeah, Rob. That guy sucked. But I couldn't figure out how old he was. I do have because, so, elephant in the room,

Andy, the actress that plays Andy, Meredith Monroe, is 30 years old at the time of filming. No, sure. Now, now she looks amazing, both now in her current age and back then as a 30-year-old. She looks amazing. She does not look like 16. And it's and it's painfully obvious when they put her when they put her in pigtails to try to make her look younger. It's she's a CW 16, you know. Yeah, that's fair.

But so that that got me curious because I looked it up. She was 30 years old when they were when they when this aired in 1999. I looked at everybody else's age. Jack, Kerr Smith was 27 years old. Jesus. Jen, Michelle Williams was 19 years old. Dawson, 22 years old, and then Joey and Pacey, 21 years old during, or, yeah, when this aired in 1991. So the target audience of this show, though, is people who grew up on Saved by the Bell.

And so, like, you know, these, they still do it. People look young. And they still do it now. They're, they're, they're constantly. That's why I said they're a CW 16. What's that one show on, that was on? c w or they literally had like 40 year old models playing high school kids it was wild i don't know what's sure you're talking about i do you remember though that they had it was like a high school

show with like vampires maybe so let's get into the actual actual episode because we got your favorite we got both of our favorite things in the world in this episode he's strippers god damn man it's uh didn't well we get dawson crashing his dad's boat while he well get it well getting a blow job dude blow job on a boat sounds pretty pretty tight although just to turn the anchor yeah turn the throttle down throw anchor dude yeah what are we doing yeah it's why are you going that fast too like she told you to slow the boat down just put that put that fucker in neutral you know yeah like just like you said just run the throttle down you could drop anchor you don't even need to you don't even need to drop anchor just cut the engine yeah and drift in like he just like cut the

engine 20 miles out let the waves push you in yeah you're fine you're 16 you'll be done long before that he so he didn't one thing i didn't quite understand i didn't quite get because they were like a he didn't he didn't climax though right he didn't finish right he didn't crash before he finished yeah i think that's like they probably like was like oh shit and she like jumped away and he crashed the boat yeah their their whole dynamic And Dawson's like just Dawsonness his complete indecision on everything in his life was driving me crazy and it's like his wannabe point dexter just just his goody two shoes moral come high ground like it's it drives me crazy because it's so disingenuous. I agree he's not doing it because he wants to do the right thing. He's doing it because he thinks he should do the right thing. Yeah. And that's work. He doesn't because it's what the narrative of the hero of the movie would do.

Yeah. So, yeah, it's just so disingenuous. But his, like, flippy, floppy indecision should be considered, like, emotional manipulation. It's wild. He's the worst. And in way over his head with the stripper party. Oh, my God. Like, that guy hosting a stripper party was, I'm surprised it.

didn't get busted cape side stripper party with pacy's dad and older brother as cops there's no way that's not getting busted no no way but it like uh that was risky business did you notice not yeah yeah yeah the good risky business reference it feels like that was before tom cruise got really weird but maybe he was always that weird we don't know i mean i'm sure he was always that weird that was that was early early tom cruise though yeah yeah and that's what i'm saying like i feels like maybe it was pre super weird tom yeah i have a couple um i have a dawson rejects joey trying to you know trying to sex him up yeah hurts her feelings joey dawson a little wild but uh dude they they laid some breadcrumbs for some pacy joey yes yes love that i actually love some pacey joey so

that's that's why sports alert that's why this uh season gets so much praise um because everybody everybody loves uh joey pacey um probably more than they should sometimes but um real connection happen you get this season is heavy joey pacey so okay they and one um joshua jackson our boy and uh Katie Holmes have such a good do you see they're they're in a they're in a movie a new movie coming out together oh really they have really good chemistry I believe Katie Holmes is uh directing and starring oh um but I know her and uh Joshua Jackson are in it I believe she's directing yeah it's yeah oh she wrote it too writing starring and directing okay

Yeah, good for her. Yeah. It's called happy hours, though. I don't know when it's coming out because I think they just, they just finished shooting. But keep an eye out for that because we'll definitely do that on the pod. Yeah. Nice.

But yeah, this season, heavy, heavy Joey Pacey. And. Oh, and Mitch is a varsity football coach now. Shout out Mitch. Yes. Mitch Mitch is the football coach. I believe he's because nobody else wanted the job. It was.

It was because they haven't won a game in years. They, I also, the principal. Oh, did you notice who the principal is? Yeah, he's the dean from How High.

He's the Dean from How High. He's also in Syke. He's Mirro's dad in Syke. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Oh, but did you watch the Syke movie? it's Christmas It's a Christmas movie

Like diehard's a Christmas movie I didn't want I haven't watched any of the psych movies Because they're musicals And you know how I feel about musical Anyways Episode 1 we have So we start on the bus And then we start with school

We get the first couple days of school Junior year Um Jen has a weird little Our thing where she Gosh of my least favorite things about the show and it's no no offense to michelle williams because she's doing the best she can but whenever they try to make jen look cool it comes off it comes off

like that speech she gave about the the cheerleader you know in in 30 years hating their life was i almost had to turn that off because of secondhand embarrassment that was ridiculous 100%. Every time, you're right. And like even when they made her like the head cheerleader and they tried to make her look badass in like a grunge outfit. She did look badass, but they didn't commit to that. Like they, they have the writers like half ass everything with Jen. And so it just comes off cringe.

Like it's just it's, you know. Yeah. It was it was rough. But she takes on the head cheerleader, you know. She does. I forget what her name was. But yeah, she, but yeah, she oust her. They vote not only do.

So she tries out for the cheerleading team as a joke and does that weird little speech. And then not only do they elect her or not only do they take her on to the team. They vote her head cheerleader based on that god awful speech. Oh, that's so bad. Dawson Joey kiss again here we fucking go but yeah this is all like a like a normal first episode

this is all just setting up it's setting up the Eve story which is thank God it only last couple episodes yeah did the next episode when Dawson gets caught with Eve

when the projector goes up how did they not catch her is not being a student after that happened and they all just started to just they all they started wooing yeah like and like it felt like the teachers were like oh ha ha ha oh you kids

trying to sex each other on school grounds like what was that that was so that was that was a weird moment and like his his dad and the principal being like okay make a video for the

I don't know that just so them them asking him to make a video for the pap rally was crazy and then the video he made was terrible I mean has Dawson made any good movies yeah but that was terrible the zero security because that's when she you know she sneaks into the school she tells him that she like registered as a student I don't think she actually did no what this episode had two of my favorite lines is right before we find out that she's in the school or whatever and Dawson and Pacey are talking yeah and Dawson's like I can't find her I don't

know where she went I even went back to the strip club to see if to see if she was working there and they told me she was a temp and Pacey goes wait strip clubs have temps that was a hilarious line that I went way too hard to that way too or Pacey you know Andy sexing up dunes at the mental hospital yeah that fucking Andy Andy Andy is the Andy sucks but um the other line that i that fucking cracked me up was i forget where they were but it's the dawson is talking to eve and he's like he's like i don't even know you i don't even know who you are like i don't even know your name and he he so he like starts asking her a couple questions and one of the questions he asks her is what turns you on

and she like deadpan serious looks him in the eye and goes sex turns me on which is a wild answer yeah you know and then Dawson just Dawson's that up yeah to the yeah the amount of his fucking like you know cold feet in all of those situations was just getting annoying you know it's like he piss or get off the pot like make a choice here dude it's yeah yikes and then um is is the second episode where Jack joins the football team? So that's when they're like walking around and he throws...

No, yeah, that is when he... He catches the ball and Pacey's dad is like... This guy is a good catcher of the football. I think it's at the end of the first episode when they're like... Him and Jen are like walking around the track and the ball keeps getting thrown in their area and he catches it every time.

And then that's when the dad's like, oh. And then... Episode two is when he like, pulls him aside and he's like, he's like, you're joining the football team. Jack. Jack's like, I'm gay, dude. I can't join the football team. You're going to get beat up. Yeah.

Um. And, and, uh, the weird freshman quarterback kid that. Oh, he's infatuated with Jen. Did that? What's the biggest creep in the fucking world. Agree. And the whole, I did not like, I agreed with Jen. Like getting ambush.

by a weird kid that's infatuated with you is not romantic. It's weird and uncomfortable. And why would you put me in that situation? You can't send somebody on a completely blind date. Like they got to know, they got to at least know it's a date. Like, what do we? Come on, Jack.

That was, I don't think that Jen needed to confront his. him in front of grams you know like that's a wow good no no great if if you can you can't say it in front of grams you shouldn't be able to say it you know i guess by the way i love grams grams grams i'm so glad she went back to grams they went they went back to grams this place love it yeah like when they're uh i don't know if it's this episode or the next one but when they like wake up for for breakfast and they're all making it they're like making breakfast and coffee and everything and she's just standing over there and she's like when did you guys get married

uh that that episode didn't wasn't as much crazy shit happening because the what the homecoming homecoming has a lot of weird so we're we're glossing over a lot of it here we're glossing over a henry paid five hundred dollars to kiss jen That's wild. Insane. He sold a Doug Flutty mouthpiece to pay for it. That then, so. So they have a...

Like them auctioning off a kiss with an underage high school girl? Wild. Wild. Wild. Yeah. Crazy. Wild. And then you have the whole...

Because this is when he... Dawson makes the new story, right, about Jack being. Oh, that's right. And so then the other team targets him. Yeah. And his dad, like, this is a prime example of like Dawson just being insanely selfish and having zero. Self awareness or regard for anybody else around him. Because his dad's like, hey, maybe don't announce to the whole world that are our starting

receiver is gay um you're trying to get his ass kicked it's wild well i guess no i guess no home that's episode four is when he makes the movie that's my bad um that's episode four is when does so i'm getting i'm getting all my episodes mixed up here um season three so episode three is the one that I remember the most because it was the PSAT and then it gets snagged. Did we did we find out who grabbed it? It's Andy. Andy took it.

Andy, that's right. Okay. No, that's right. That's right. Because then in episode four, she thinks that Principal Green wants to meet with her about that and she's getting ready to confess and he wants her to lead the school morale club or whatever. Yeah. Okay. So home, so yeah,

Homecoming is episode two, Homecoming is we Andy comes back. We find out she cheated. It opened with Pacey having bubble guts for some reason. Did you notice that? Like he was just like, Pacey's like, I have a stomach ache. Because he's nervous because he was going to get her. Oh, I, geez, I miss that. I was like, oh, Pacey, you must have a little IBS going on.

No, because he was talking to Dawson about, because he was going to. He was going to pick up Andy that day, so he's like, I'm all fucking nervous. It was nice that he brought Joey as a plus one. Love that. Yeah. But yeah, so we find, so he goes, they bring Andy back. Andy's now back in, and keeps out full time after her little three-month stint at the looney bin. And then, uh, this is where Eve pretends to be a student.

He pretends to be a student. We find out Andy cheated on PC. and then Andy breaks or Pacey breaks up with Andy yeah um Jack joins the football team um we also get Jack's dad back for a little brief and he says you can come live with the house again but Jack declines yeah because you're terrible terrible dad yeah um because it felt like he only accepted him because he joined the football team well yeah because he says he says he's starting to he's starting to see himself and he myself and you um yeah yeah i guess you're right episode two i was thinking of episode four with all the football stuff episode two there's not a whole bunch other than other than andy andy cheating on joey which is was heartbreaking you know because that was such a a long running thing for season two was was andy yeah you know even at the end of season two is his dad

is like talking bad about her and he punches his dad yeah he literally punched his dad over a girl that sex the first guy she met at the looney bin and that's the first one if that isn't a lesson for all the you guys out there brandon like like just you can't you can't trust anybody 303 said it best man can't trust a hoe don't trust a ho Andy's for the streets Brandon

That's not nice She's just an annoying character too Like and it just Her naivete On top of just Going off the rails is just I don't know Andy's not a likable character in this show

Not anymore I like to Abby more than Andy That's for sure well abby amy was r i p abby was just pure chaos which was it was exciting andy andy season two was fine i i liked

andy season two as we as we progress into season three though she yeah season three andy is not is not my favorite character yeah it's not a rob is my least favorite character of the season i can do without that guy forever

him just uh yikes and i will say it like Joey stalking Andy's date, worse way to go about getting that to break up. You know, like that's only going to make it worse. I got herself fired too. Yeah.

I mean, that was only a matter of time, you know, before he fired her for not accepting his advances. Yeah, that's true. You know, like that guy, a guy's sacked. He's the real villain out of all this. Yeah. And again, I don't know how old he is.

He could be 44 for line now. you know the show is is a real big fan of those kind of relationships those adult and teenage relationships yeah

yikes but uh but yeah so so the episode three like you mentioned is the PSAT they're all freaked out yeah joey stressed you know and then uh Eve

Eve somehow gets her hands on the it was the questions the test yeah wasn't the answers it was just the questions before yeah yeah okay um and she uh yeah she gives him to dawson this was so weird she she gives them to dawson to give to the rest of his crew and she they played it off like this was some sort of like evil mastermind plan from eve which like i don't for what reason for what reason she just got the answers and was like Like, I mean, she, of course, is always fucking with Dawson because he's such a like goody two shoes that if, you know, like, I don't know. I think she just gave him the test scores.

Well, no, like the way they have her play it is because she's out. She's she keeps coming back and she's keep like, oh, do you know who stole it? Oh, oh, you can't trust your friends. Oh, oh, you're so stupid because you're so naive. Like they played it off like this was some sort of evil mastermind plan from her. but like for what what was the goal there's she she doesn't gain anything out of this other than being able to laugh i guess i don't know but i don't know she just she does seem to enjoy torturing dawson a little bit you know well i mean as you should because he's a he's a terrible

terrible person he's just he just it's it's it's what how do they say it like it's it's tough looking down on the peasants from that high horse or something like he just like he's just on his high horse without realizing he's doing all the things that he you know like it's like it's rich coming from you on that high horse but yeah well and when you juxtapose it's the high horse and then it's the victim complex as well because he is constantly being like oh my life at the slightest inconvenience he's like oh my life my life is terrible it sucks when he is when you but when you juxtapose that with the his like surrounding friends who legitimately have terrible lives it's like come on dude you know yeah he's a he's a now a child of

divorce though i yeah he's i would say he's 50% responsible for that divorce though he convinced his mom to cheat on Mitch no no no now now that so I would say that's the other 50% well actually okay I'll go maybe not 50% he's he's 15 I'll cut it to 15% responsible for that divorce anyways and then and then Jack's getting the hurt put on him by his own team you know yeah yeah because uh Well, his own team and Mitch, because Mitch is putting him through, Mitch is putting him through the ringer. Um, toughen him up. Well, it's, it's to, to gain their respect.

You get it. He's just the holy, you know, you're, you're the new kid. That's why they're being mean to you. Not because you're gay. Because you're the new kid. You got to earn your. You put fumbling the football, you sick son of a bitch. Yeah.

And you got to earn your, uh, you know, earn your role on the team. So that's why he keeps putting him through the fucking the worst, the worst. The worst the worst football scenes I've ever seen in my entire life. Well, also a drill that doesn't seem helpful. No. That's other than being able to two on one, like just to being able to get your ass kicked, I guess. Yeah. I think it's just being able to take a hit.

But still, it's, it's a, it's a terrible, it's a terrible drill. And he just, and he makes him do it 30 times in a row. Yeah. You know, CTE all over. Oh, yeah. But, and then the, it's like the old board drills. Did your coach ever make you do the board drills? Which ones were this?

I mean, we literally had a board where your alignment on each end of the board and you just hit each other as hard as you can and try to push each other to the end of the board. Oh, no, never did that. Yeah, it's, you know, talk about CTE camp. That's right there for you. Just a lot of head-on-head collisions. Yeah. But so that's what's going on with Jay. And then like we said, the PSATs, we have,

Eve gave us the questions. Dawson presents it to the group and then there's a fire drill or a fire alarm. And somebody steals it. Somebody steals the questions and nobody will fess up. Because Dawson, like a dumb idiot, thinks that the Manila envelope with nothing written on it is going to be suspicious to him just taking his things out with it. It had the, what they call it, the educational standardized, whatever the organization that does the PSAT, it had that sticker on it. Oh, it did.

Okay. I didn't think it had anything on it. But still, if you, if he just grabs that Manila envelope where the side with nothing on it is sitting, like it's better than leaving it, sit there. Yeah, yeah. Don't leave. Even he leaves it because what's the new principle. Put your books on top of it. and then put it against your body and walk out.

Yeah, just grab it. Because the principal's sitting there and he's like, okay, everybody leave everything where it is and go, go outside. But like, just grab it and keep walking. Just be like, I don't want to lose it, you know? Anyways.

Or move it into your backpack and then. Yeah. Like slide your things into your bag and then zip it up. Yeah. But so somebody steals it. One of the kids in the, in our crew steals it. We later find out it's Andy.

that fucking that dude andy son of a gun season she really sucks this season yeah well and so then okay so the rest of the episode is dossin trying to figure out who stole it he thinks it's pacey because he

he hates pacey it's very it's just really weird for being his best friend he's not very nice to pace you know and pacey he needs a friend that's nice to him yeah but he just yeah he automatically assumes pacey

steals it. And he just lips on the moral high ground over Pacey. He just like leers over Pacey on this fictional moral high ground. It just drives me nuts. It's the worst. Dustin does all the same shenanigans as Pacey and then acts like Pacey is the bad kid. Yeah. And they do it all together.

Well, the worst. The worst is it was season two. It was the, was that his birthday episode where he gets all drunk right yeah he he gets all drunk and he tells pacey he is like it really sucks when you're like doing well like your life should suck that way i feel better about myself like he's he tells him that like what a insane like he's just the worst friend ever he's yeah is a terrible friend yeah and then yeah he thinks it's pacey so he's pacey he won't take he won't believe pacey's answer when he says it's not him they get into a fist fight

love it yeah um i did love how uh so they're getting there are you and over the the test at first and then it gets into personal jobs and dawson says something about and d and he's like to to pacey about how pacey dumped her when all she you know or he says something like i can't believe you know you dumped your girl when something stupid like that um completely ignoring the fact that she cheated on him but and then uh pay Dawson deserved every bit of that Pacey punch. Yeah, well, the best part is, was the line Pacey had before they started throwing punches when he was like, I can't, Dawson's like, I can't believe you dumped poor Andy, you're such an asshole.

And Pacey fires back, well, at least I didn't get her dad thrown in prison. That's right. A great fucking line. Classic. Because I feel like we're breezing past that whole last two episodes of season two where Dossin rats everybody out and he keeps telling he keeps being like I have to do it I have to do it I can't not do it the dude fucking sucks like him we he we were giving him to this show's giving him too big of a pass for for getting hit uh Joey's dad thrown back in jail yeah and probably you know federal prison too not only thrown back in jail but the way the way he went about doing it putting Joey directly in the middle of it it was fucking bullshit yeah it he's he's getting off too easy they well because joey said she's like well i guess you were right in the long run it's like well it's i guess but like the

way he did it was terrible the i guess i guess he was yeah he could say he was right but everything he did lead up to getting to the right decision was the word was yeah was the worst thing ever. Yeah. Oh, man. Anyways. So at the end of the episode, we find out Andy's the one who stole it because it's the day of the test.

Oh, yeah. And she's just ripping answers before she even opens the packet. It was a lot. She was just ripping through those answers. And then when she popped that book after she answered seven questions, I was like, oh, my God. like this girl is just asking to get caught. Yikes. Well,

the thing that threw me off is they mentioned, so this is the PSAT, the pre-SAT. It's not the actual SAT. It's just a practice. Well, yeah, so they mentioned it's optional.

You don't have to take it. So why is she cheating on the PSAT? Or was that the actual SAT? No, that was the PSAT. But you can't, like you, I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't, do they actually look at the PSA? I never took the SAT or the PSAT. I took the ACTs. Same. Yeah. I took the AC.

I don't know anything about the SATs. I took the ACTs. I did good enough. What did you get on the ACT? God, I can't remember. It was a lot better than. Can't remember.

That's what the dummies say because it's so low. No, no. I, it was, it was better than I thought it was going to be. But I can't remember what it was. Because I don't want to say it's too high because it was. I don't know. I can't remember.

What'd you get? I guess. 20? No, no. Now I got a 32. Oh, geez. Brandon, Smarty Pants. I think I got either a 28 or a 30 or something like that.

I don't know. Fucking dummy over here, dude. I, I can tell you this. I got a lot of trouble for not studying for it. It was. I didn't, I don't. So I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm a lot worse.

I'm slightly above average intelligence wise, I would say. I'm not like a, I'm not a dummy, but I'm not a smart, you know, I'm a, I'm more of a problem solver than a, than a brainiac. But when you're good with numbers and being good with numbers. I'm good with numbers and, and I'm great at test taking. Like some people, some people crumble under tests. I'm great at test taking. I got no issue. there. The math section of the

ACT tripled my score. Yeah, it was it was that like the all the other stuff fine, the math my my bad section my bad section was always I don't know if it's the English section but whenever they had they had you write like paragraphs and essays that was always my oh see that was where I was the best we're at flip flop I

crushed the English sections but man that math stuff it made me feel like a real dumb idiot that's for sure um I don't I don't I got in so much trouble for it like not studying my mom still to the state Brandon if you ask her should like well if you wouldn't have just applied yourself in high school you wouldn't have done so much better yeah it's not wrong not wrong could have been could have been you know getting your doctorate at Lincoln you know go big red well absolutely go big red i mean

anyways sorry what were we talking about this is your fault brandon we can we can uh translate this episode four whole movies because this is where they this is the football game this is where we get the the uh the kissing the kissing

the kissing auction with jen and and henry so weird hated so weird so weird so the other thing i want to point out so this is okay this is and this is and this is where and uh joey and pacey got in trouble for Ditching.

Forgotten about that. They did. Because they run into the principal. Um, yes, because they were going, because Pacey bought a boat and they were going to, he's going to fix it up. But so Dossett, this is, this is the episode where Dawson does the, the news feature and tells everybody in the world that Jack's gay. Um, and so they get fucking lit up on the football field. Some of the worst football scenes I've ever seen in my entire life. We do need to talk about their point, Dawson's plan.

to help them out when he comes because they're getting killed at halftime and he comes in at half time and he's like I got an idea

on how we can fix this and his idea put on eye makeup his eye so a couple things they can't target Jack for being

gay if you're all gay well so so that was the plan yes so he comes in he obscured they rubbed dirt on everybody's number so you can't see

the number so you can't tell who's who which A I'm pretty sure that's illegal and B they didn't do a

good job you can clearly see everybody's numbers in the following scenes um and then the second thing of his plan was yeah was to was to do uh have the cheerleaders do makeup on all the players and then the henry hits us with the golden line uh on the first snap of the second half when they realize everybody is wearing full faces of makeup he says ha find the homo now oh my god i did not hear that line You didn't hear that line? I miss that. He's like, how did I miss that?

He's under center getting ready to snap the ball and he tells the defense, find the home home. Oh, my God. I want to, I want to sit. So those are all terrible ideas. I don't know what was going on. But what they should have done, what I thought they were going to do is when they brought the cheerleaders in.

Because they're, like you said, they had Jen all done up in the fishnets and she was like trying to make it all punk rock and stuff. And then some of the other cheerleaders in this episode are also dressed like her. And so what I thought they were going to do when they brought the cheerleaders in, I thought they were going to do a replacements thing where they were going to have the cheerleaders distract the other team. That's what I thought they were going to do, which would have been a way better plan. I wouldn't put it past this school who, you know,

with inappropriate relationships with kids at all times. but that just seems high school cheerleading team doing a replacement's move seems even a little bit too much for this group yeah i mean we still have eve still wandered around somewhere they could have they could have called them the strip club oh my god dude i just i was in love with that girl in high school when like when she was on this eve eve oh eve yeah eve she looks kind of like the S Club 7 girls like I always thought she was an S club seven girl do you know what I mean so wild pole but yeah 100% I know exactly you thank you yeah no she does she does she looks ain't no party like an S club party she looks exactly like well not exactly but she looks really

close to the the main blonde girl yeah the tall one the tall one thank you yeah she like if you she looks she looks real close to Joe if you if you look you looks real close to Joe if you if you you mashed a couple of those S club seven girls together you get Eve. I think it's the short hair the short being tall with the short hair short blonde hair. She looks very much like Joe. Yep. Told you. Dude.

S club seven. What a fucking throwback man. That show that show was I, I that was on ABC family when I got home from school and middle school. Always throw on S club seven. Oh shit, here's a here's a oh and this is the episode where Jen is is Homecoming Queen right so I got to talk about this okay I'm glad you brought this up junior homecoming queen that's wild I'm so I didn't know that Jen being Homecoming Queen would trigger you so bad it's the it's the way they

announced it in conjunction with her being sold off to kiss in the in the in the sold us in the middle of the day at the end of the football game which is a wild time like when you for me at least i don't know how they did it in way in america they announced the homecoming king and queen at the pep rally the friday or the the day before the game or the day of the game whatever and then at halftime of the homecoming game they would bring them all out and do like a little parade for the half time short or whatever is that what they did in wayne yeah okay so they don't do that here they wait till the end of the game and doesn't make any sense who was homecoming king is it they just

had a queen there was no king hey they're very you know they don't they don't need the patriarchy in cape side brandon that's it that's all that's saying that's fair you know they could have done double queen son you know but that the homecoming announcement was just so haphazardly thrown away like especially this because this is a smallish town homecoming king queen is a big deal big deal yeah we have a parade for the high school home come just specifically I don't know if they still do it specifically for the high school and it's a very cool feeling like sitting on the back of the convert this is where you're gonna brag to everybody like

you were homecoming king. I wasn't homecoming king. I was prom king, thank you very much. But I was homecoming royalty. And I, like Kelly loves that picture. I'll send it to you,

Brandon. There's a picture of me on the back of the convertible, given the old, the old homecoming royalty wave. And it's a thousand degree. And I am like fresh from spending every day at the pool. So my skin is like red. Like it's like early September when they do that right?

Yeah. Yeah. And and my hair is the blondeest you could ever imagine. And I've got it like hard geled. You know what I'm talking about? Like the gel that like hard. Was it like LA style? Yeah.

Yeah. Like dude. Oh my God. It was incredible. And I'm it's hot. A little hot. So I'm sweating. It's.

I forgot about just squeezing that. Just squeezing that. squeezing that bottle. Dude, did you ever, one time I convinced my parents to get me curve, I think it was.

It was like the fancy hair gel that smell. That sounds. That sounds familiar. Maybe, no, curve is the cologne. Damn it. I can't remember what the, maybe it was crew or something.

I don't know. It was like this really, American crew was like the fancy, the ones they sold at like great clips, the fancy ones. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Dude, they bought me a little bottle of that. Dude, that was almost like cologne and air gel. Now, LA looks, not LA style, my bad LA looks is the hair gel. Extreme sport.

Looking, looking back, I regret every day that I gelbed my hair that hard, but like, you know, you were doing extreme sports style too, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Of course, dude.

You got to have that shit hold all day. All day. You know, I forgot about this. What a throwback. Yeah. Anyways, anyways. This. and S Club 7 in the same episode?

You're welcome. Oh, man. But anyways, you know, as just, you know, as constant high school royalty, Kelly likes to fuck with me. Like, she'll just bring it up randomly with people and she'd be like, well, he's peaked in high school. He'd tell me about how you peaked in high school. So it's it's one of two.

It hurts my feelings. It's one of two things. Either you peaked in high school or they did it as like a charity, like, oh, look at this kid. Let's get him on the, the royal. royalty. No. One of the two things.

I definitely. There's no other, no other explanation. I definitely peaked in high school and then became a D-Gen in college. I thought you were going to say DJ for a second. Oh, if only, dude,

if only I was that cool, I just, I just had a drinking problem. Yeah. You were one turntable away from success, man. Dude, if I had two turntables in a microphone, that would have been where it's at.

Oh goodness. You're welcome for that back reference in this episode, too. You're welcome. I'm on fire today. Maybe being sleep deprived is everything this podcast needed for me. Maybe. Anyways. All right.

So yeah, home movies is good. Indian summer is the next one. This is where, oh, my God, Joey joining their movie date. Is Indian? Indian Summer is that offensive? I didn't look that up. It's probably offensive, right? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, probably, I guess. I don't know. You're looking at someone who just, I'd play it safe on the offense scale, you know, especially in the pod. So like, I'll just lean towards, you know, it being offensive. Yeah, seen as potentially insensitive. That means it's insensitive. But it's okay.

So it's, it refers to a, uh, a, uh, a, warm and dry uh what's it's warm and dry what's the word i'm looking for spell oh like a extended period of time like a right spell is that what i'm looking for a dry spell yeah warm and dry spell in late autumn oh yeah potentially offensive so i'm gonna take that as uh definitely offensive yeah okay um dude when the fact that daucy just immediately called the cops thinking that like someone's breaking into graham's house do you like do you call the cops right away if you see someone with a flashlight on at the house like i'm blind in the dark i and don't always turn the lights on like i walk around with my

flashlight on my phone going all the time because I can't see in the dark and like I need a flashlight to get from point A to point B, which is the light switch sometimes or like I have to turn lights on as I go. Or it's like also stepping on like Jenkins lives underneath my feet at all times. So like I can't see in the dark from my LASIC. And then I got a dog that blends into the dark and lives under my feet. Like cat Jesse also loves walking directly under my feet at the worst and least opportune times. Everyone's been kicked really hard by me in the dark. Back to life. So, like, for me, I always think this. Like, I'm, like, literally in my kitchen with my flashlight. It's like, you know, I wonder if someone thinks I'm breaking into my own house.

I think you can tell the difference between, like, a flashlight and a phone flight. This is 1999. out. There's no phones walking around. Dude, we were out without power for three days here in Golden, and our lives were lived by. Dude, I was doing bottles with a hat clip, like, lamp that my, dude, my dad and he roasted me. He, like, he gave it to me two years ago. He's like, Keith, here's a hat clip lamp for when you walk the dogs. It's like, I'm never going to wear this in public.

Like, I'm not going to wear this outside in public. It saved me, washing bottles, making bottles in the middle of the night, dude. just walking around with that hat clip lamp it was so money i i get where he was coming from where he was like oh i think somebody's robbing because it was it not only was in a flashlight it was weird movements in the house with the flashlight looks like they were rummaging yeah it was it was rummaging movements i don't i don't know i don't know if i wouldn't know if i would have called the cops as quick as he does i probably would have watched a little more just to you know Are they leaving with shit?

Exactly. But he dialed it real quick. He called up Dougie. Good old Doug. Not gay, Doug. Dude. And is this the femme fatale? Yeah.

Episode. Oh. I. Officer Doug sucks. I know they do it. They make his character suck on perfect purpose, but geez. you know, geez. Yeah.

It's rough. He, yeah, he sucks. Yeah, this is, this is. So he gets. And he tells him to case the laundromat. That's actually not bad advice. What? How?

Okay, so she doesn't have a place to live. Where is she washing her clothes? We don't know that she doesn't have a place to live yet, do we? We don't know yet. We don't know yet. We don't know for sure yet. she came in on a bus he's okay

okay I think at that point at that point she came in on a bus she was a temp at a strip club she's wearing disguises she's sneaking into high schools she's making out in the pep rally

I think it's safe to say she's a hooker no I'm just kidding she's a CIA spy I think no I think it's safe to say she doesn't own a washer dryer. Okay, I guess you're right. I don't know.

I thought that was a funny place to start the stakeout. I thought it was great advice. Because, because, and the way he described her is she's like a, she's a nomad. She's going from city to city, you know. That's true, I guess. I guess. So like Lom. Pacey fucking with Officer Doug about being,

and him being gay and him getting so triggered about it, is wild it's crazy it's it's it's very 1990s yeah but yeah so we so we have eve eve is rummaging through uh graham's place yep she's a remager rummager uh and she's messing with with uh dawson some more yeah we have the whole henry uh jack setting up henry on a date with jenn but not telling jen that it's a date thing and then we have Andy and Rob and Joey that whole thing and then we have that was cringe Joey yikes Joey wasn't wrong until she was wrong you know what I mean she it's just like she's she was right to warn Andy about Rob but was wrong to do it while

they were at the movie I don't know dude Andy Andy went pretty deep um Like, dude, if I'm, if I'm, if I'm, if I'm Joey and I'm warning you about Rob and you come out with, uh, I don't think you're an expert on boys. You've only dated, uh, fucking lame ass Dawson. I'm making it my mission the rest of the night to ruin your date. Oh, I'm fucking I'm, I'm in there. I did. I was thinking the opposite. I was thinking like, oh, okay, you, okay, smart girl. You deal, you go on a date with this fucking creep. then you find like if you want to just I don't know I would I wouldn't leave a leaving with the creep oh that's true I guess that's not nice but God she was so fucking condescending like I like I don't know but so I I wrote down a couple things because I again I don't know how old Rob is how fucking old is he I I think he's 19 right because Tim was in college when he died a year ago two years

ago so maybe he's 19 I think he's old I think he's like 20 21 20 21 hey I Yeah, I got a zord on. But so I wrote on a couple things. Andy says he went to prep school with Dead Tim. There's a couple lines he says to Joey at the beginning of the episode when he's like, he's like trying to hit on her or whatever. And he says, he says, are all teenage girls stuck up like you? That's a weird phrase if you're a teenager.

And then he says, and then he says, I have a, when he's talking about Andy, he's like, got to Joey he's like I have a date uh I have a date with somebody she's about your age too he says that that's a weird fucking phrase so those things I think he's I think he's like 2021 yikes I don't know but either way that just and you know that was just weird not a not a Rob fan does that did you see continue like do we I forget Joe just get a different I hope Joey just gets a different job I forget how long Rob is here but uh I I will say I loved seeing Jorts again. The only positive thing about Rob was, dude, those Jorts were sick.

Rocking the Jords. He always had soda on hand. Dude, that's my, okay, so it's funny that you say that because he hands are a diet Coke to help with like being dehydrated. Yeah. That was, that was a very 90s. It's like, hey, you seem dehydrated. Here's a diet Coke. This should, this should, this should replen.

Like, because have you seen those TikToks where it's like, we never drank water in school? Like how did we like always dehydrated, I guess? Like I don't like now kids have water bottles everywhere they go. You were allowed three to five seconds, I think. Like it was like a five second limit at the water fountain. And that was it. I forgot about the limit. Yeah.

They did they did limit you. Yeah. It was like, well, we, we didn't, we didn't have a hard limit. But the kid, if there was a kid behind you, he'd be like, fucking hurry up bro five four three two one charlie horse if you're not done yeah karate chop to the back of the head oh dude just fucking just can crush you fucking losers uh yeah so what i guess we were just permanently dehydrated as kids maybe that's right i don't know because i i've gotten a lot better especially the last like you know five years or so about drinking more water i am convinced that i'm

just because I never drink water as a child I'm just permanently dehydrated there's no fixing it so yeah Rob I rob's got to be like 2021 he's a loser hopefully we're done with him joey joey crashes the date it threw me off so she comes she comes down so hey they're at the movies right uh her and he her andy have like the weird um confrontation at like right by the concession stand yeah uh did you see what movie they're seeing the the the movie that was on the marquee blue streak oh god such a good movie it's so funny so that's the movie they saw joey crashes the date she says i'm not gonna if you think i'm gonna leave you alone with this creep you're mistaken andy and then uh just feel like that never works you know

oh they're gonna well yeah they're both they're both gonna hate her and she got fired for it but oh my god had to have known there was some retaliation coming eventually like she knew it and on And honestly, well, and he said doesn't at that point like she's got to find a different job. You know, like there's got to be a different part-time job than scrubbing boats for that fucking guy. As soon as he walks in on her changing, knowing that she's changing, that's it. That's an auto quit, you know. Yeah, yeah, you gotta. But doesn't he make a weird threesome joke before he fires her? Yep. Yeah. Yep. He does. That's how much that guy sucked. That was the key to Indian summer. It was like, all right, Rob, Rob, sucks and I hope I never see him again

in the show and I just Andy's driving me crazy I could use I have 90% less Andy I have in my notes non crazy Andy fucking sucks she was much better when she was dealing with what did she have did she have schizophrenia what was it I don't know something that she was seeing her dead brother

dead brother Tim yeah she was she was cooler when she was crazy Jesus yeah and then the other thing in this episode like we mentioned is creepy henry convinces jack to lie to jen and get her to show to a date that she doesn't know as a date in the middle of the fucking wooded area too it's a recipe for trouble yeah um and then she says uh so she goes back she's mad at at jack um and they have a pretty good heart to heart he did have a line in it because she's like

She's like, I think you're like matchmaking intuition here is just because you, you want a boyfriend, not because you're trying to help me or Henry. You're just, you need to get laid, bro. Yeah, you're just jelly. And he says, he has a great line that I read that. He says, well, yeah, but this is Cape Side. The gay population is one. It's me. So that's episode, it's one through five.

next episode, which will come out in two weeks. We'll do six through ten. So the next five. Onward and upward. Where do we go from here? Where can we go? You know? I think you, I think you said it in like one of the past,

Nosticuse episodes, but you don't think they're going to go there and they do. And then they just, and then they like go further than you think they're going to go. And then they double, and then they'll double down on where they went. you know it's just like abby just died off of a drunken mishap at a wedding and that's traumatized jenn and now jen's homecoming queen and getting bullied by like that was just like the cheerleader bullying her and it was just anyways this show is wild that's true i feel like abby just died brand abby just died um joey's dad just got it back to prison. Yeah, that could.

There's maybe, like, there's maybe one line in two lines, ish, I think, in the show about Joey's dad. And otherwise they, they, they, nobody, nobody brings it up. Nobody talks about it. Like, if that happens in real life, you're not talking to the person maybe ever again that put your dad in prison for life. Like, that's a, that's a thing that's not just like, well, I guess you were probably mostly right.

Wow. Although I guess, I guess it, I don't know if it just happened. We might be a couple months removed because there is a time. We're summer. There is a time jump. At most. Yeah. At most.

A summer break. Yeah. But still, still, it, anyways, it doesn't matter. It's just what a great start to season three. Dawson's Creek is the best. It's everything you want in a, you know, teenage drama. Here we go again. Yeah.

We're back. Back in the series. week.