The Cake Eaters - 14. D1: The Mighty Ducks - Part 2

Episode Date: September 14, 2021

Heath & Brandon dive into the original Mighty Ducks movie! Today’s episode goes over minutes 19-42. They discuss District 5's horrible equipment, the Hawks' championship banners, an early candidate for Best Parent, Coach Reilly's brilliant passive-aggressive manipulation, and we get our first glimpse of the mystic spirit guide that is Hans. Follow us at www.thecakeaterspod.com and on Twitter (@thecakeeaters) and Instagram (@thecakeeaterspod) Email us at [e-mail]

It's not worth winning if you can't win! Hello everybody and welcome back to the podcast. This is the Kid Cuters podcast. My name is Brandon. I've got my co-host Heath with me here. So today's episode is part two of the original Mighty Ducks movie. So we're tackling, for those of you who are just joining us, we're tackling the original Mighty Ducks movie in five parts. So it's roughly 20 minutes of the movie per each part of our episodes here. And so part one, which was released two weeks ago, was minutes zero through 19. So the beginning of the movie to the 19th minute this week, we're going to be talking about minutes 19 through 42.

And so this week is jam packedpacked with a lot of stuff here, Heath. We have just, we got the first game with Coach Bombay. Not the first game of the season because he came in late. Connie said, what, they were 0-9? Is that right? 0-9? Yeah, 0-9. 10th game for the Ducks, or not the Ducks. 10th game for District 5.

Not the Ducks yet. 10th game for District 5, first game for Bombay. And so we start off the very first scene of this 19-minute mark here is it zooms in to the center ice, and we get some chance. We get some stick banging, and it zooms out zooms out and guess guess guess who the first game is heath who are we playing first oh we are playing the one the only the cake eaters the adina hawks and it is getting spicy out there on the ice brandon they are playing the intimidation game yes they are i would be terrified if i was if i was on district five i would be fucking terrified not only is their coach looking real real fucking slick he's got the you

know he's got the crazy like 1990s like slick back slick slicked hair he he's got the the the jacket with the collar that he pops every five minutes. Oh, that's my favorite. Their uniforms, all black with the black and blue is the color. Not like the fucking bullshit game changers. Orange. We got, we have black and blue, the true Hawks.

The Hawks dynasty is full display right now. And you know what? We got to talk about this because it looks like Riley comes into the arena at like the four-minute mark when Bombay does. And we can get into this later. Like these Hawks are so disciplined. They're so locked in. They're running those drills, those intimidation drills on their own.

Well, so that threw me off as well. I'm assuming – so you get the – it starts off – you get the Hawks on the ice. They're doing the drills. They're doing the chants. They're doing everything. Part of District 5 is also already on the ice. They're sitting on the bench, right? And then it cuts to the stands, right?

It cuts to the stands, and you have Bombay, who's sitting there and staring at the championship banners. And it's all first place, except for the famous 1973 missed overtime penalty shot that Bombay is remembered for. Yeah. And that's the second place banner hanging there but and it's and it's it's like neon yellow it sticks out like a sore thumb it's insane

uh don't forget the amazing intimidate like in between the intimidation before it comes cuts to bombay the two hawks like the two banks buddies goes uh skating up to the bench and they're like, Hey girls. Yeah. And then, and then Carp's like, Oh, come on, dude.

Like trying to fight them and stuff. Yeah. So that's the, so that's to your point. Yeah. So, so you had some of district five and all of the Hawks already on the ice and the two coaches are up in the stands talking to each other.

What, why are they on the ice with, and there's, I'm, I'm, well, I'm assuming the Hawks, I'm assuming their assistant coach is probably out on the ice, right?

You would assume that, but Bombay doesn't have an assistant coach. So Karp and I forget, is it Jesse and Terry? You know, it's Peter that's out there with them, right? Yeah. They're just sitting on the bench waiting for Bombay. Averman's over there looking traumatized on the bench like, oh, crap, what did we just get ourselves into? All the teams

are already out there on the ice. The coaches just fucking chit-chatting up in the stands. You get some good Coach Riley-Bombay interactions. So Bombay's sitting there and he's staring at the championship banners. All of the first place except for 1973, which is

second place. That that's his his infamous missed penalty shot and so then so he's staring at that and then you get coach riley who walks up to him and he's they start chit-chatting he's like oh you came riley's like oh you came to say hi to your old coach right came came to say hi to your hero your your your beloved coach coach riley and bombay goes no i'm actually i'm i'm coaching district five you know and so riley hits you with the uh he goes he goes oh no shit you got a you had a kid on the team or something because he's just talking so much shit just a subtle shit talk like What are you doing here, man? Are you coming to see your own coach? You would think so.

Bombay hates hockey, right? He quit a long time ago. The reason he quit is because he missed a shot because his coach was so fucking mean to him. I don't think he quit right after that. You don't think so? I think he played a little bit longer.

I forget if it's during this little patch of minutes that we're talking about but later on in the movie coach riley says something about coaching him for nine years or something like that oh really okay he mentioned something about yeah coaching him for nine years so i don't think and bombay was like what 10 11 tops in 1973 there's no way he was coaching him since he was two you know so I think I think he played hockey maybe not for the Hawks well no

because if he said he coached him for nine years I would assume he played under coach Riley for a couple more years after that um shot and you were right to like as it span the banners that yellow that they put in there why is it yellow it's like 20 years of blue and black championships and then fucking yellow why is it yellow yellow is not it's not a it's not a team color yellow why is it

yellow it didn't make any sense like but boy did that goddamn thing stick out like a super thumb do you think that's why that's why coach riley made it yellow i i assume he's in charge of the banners who knows fueling the fire yeah he had to he had to have done that just to fuck with bombay right that's the only reason that that would be yellow it's not a team color it has no bearing i think he just did that to fuck with bombay he's like we could have had it could have been all in first place except for you bud but but then then in his talk with bombay he he says oh i wish they would take that one down don't you bombay so maybe he maybe he's not in charge of the banners i don't know oh yeah like it's that

whole whoever is in charge of the banners is a fucking dick. It is very interesting, the psychological mind tricks going back and forth between those two because then he starts laughing after he's like, oh yeah, you got a kid on the team or something? And Bombay's like, no, I just need to be a service to my community. I thought that was a great way to describe it for bombay to kind of like keep himself above water there yeah it makes sense so it makes sense that so what i was trying to get out before i got sidetracked on my own tangent what i was trying

to get out was it makes sense that he that uh riley would ask why he's coaching because because so bombay played for him for nine years. I think it's nine years. It's it's, it's some long period of time. I forget if it's exactly nine years, but it's some long period of time like that. So Bob,

but Bombay now hates hockey. So you would assume after he misses the shot, right. He gets a second place. They rub it in his face, probably constantly, you know? Yeah.

And so that's when he starts to hate hockey. You would imagine that when he quit, when he quit from coach Riley, and when he gave up on hockey and decided he was starts to hate hockey you would imagine that when he quit when he quit from coach riley and when he gave up on hockey and decided he was going to hate it coach riley witnessed all that right so he's like this guy does he even mentions that bombay didn't want it he he mentions that when they're talking about banks he's he's like banks is he's not as good as you were bombay but he wants it he actually wants it more so yeah he's so mean throughout that entire thing the passive aggressiveness coach coach riley would have

been there to see bombay shift to not liking hockey right he witnessed that and so that that makes sense that he would ask him why the fuck are you coaching a team you hate hockey remember you quit and you hate hockey um so you the only reason you're here you gotta have a kid right you gotta have a kid on the team it's in the like you mentioned it too where he's like so he's like oh i had to be a service to community and then he's trying to like shift gears like okay i don't want riley to be a dick about my dui like oh who's the new hot shot player trying to distract him but riley ever with his eye on the prize is where he's like oh he's you know i've got banks right there he's not as good as you but he wants it more this kid doesn't give up yeah like dude bombay is still living through trauma from that year and he's just like

piling it on him right now yeah just picking at that scab dude just picking at it wish i would take that one down don't you well he says he says i wish they would take it they would take that down you're right that leads me to believe that he's not in charge of the banners yeah the arena is uh but dude that's that's still 20 years almost like you gotta let that go that's crazy it's that's that's it that's the only time he ever got second place You got to let that go. That's crazy. That's the only time he ever got second place. He's not letting that go. Oh, man.

All that bad juju comes back in full force. Because now the Hawks are cursed. Yeah, now they are. Game changers. I would love to see what happened with D22 you know because they they show to not just skip ahead to d2 but they show um the two the two hawks players that they get like uh besides banks they get the limelight in d1 i forget their character names it's like larson or they come back in d2 very briefly at the beginning and then the beginning. And then the Ducks go to the Goodwill Games. So I'm assuming they didn't play the next year in the Pee Wee.

Maybe the Hawks did win again. I don't know. I would love to see a movie or a TV show about that season. I'd like to see one about the demise of the Hawks and how they got so bad to where they are now to where they got so bad that they had to change their colors but or they changed their colors and then they got so bad that's probably what happened really quick before the game because riley has one last barb in there where he goes i wish your dad would uh wish your dad could be here to see this or something yeah whoa that's too far he took it

too far yeah bringing up the dead dad again like yikes that is so fucked up and then um and then we get the win chance going yeah well so i want to point out but before we hop to the game yeah um because he's talking about banks so in the the original movie or not the original movie the well the original movie but the we talked about it in part one uh the opening scene that's the that's the phrase i was trying to say the opening scene where you get the flashback to 73 and bombay playing and bombay is warrior number nine for gordy how like we talked about because his gordon uh bombay i'm assuming that's why they named that's why his name is gordon He's named after Gordie Howe.

Actually, I don't even know if Gordie Howe is named just Gordie or is it Gordon? I have no idea. Keep going. Anyway, but Banks is wearing number nine as well. He's wearing number nine. He's wearing Bombay's same number for the Hawks. So, you know,

maybe they are the same person. Just ship off the old block. But yeah, we get into the same person. Just ship off the old block. We get into the win chance. We get the soundbite from our intro here. If you can't win big.

Yes. Well, that comes later. That comes later because now they're just winning. That's in the middle of the game. That's after intermission. Now they're just doing wind. Cause then Bombay tries to get it started. And like Connie and gear, like when,

when, and everyone else is like, see, that's why Connie and gear the best dude there. They, without prompting, they were like, okay,

let's do it. Let's fuck. We're in it. And this is where we get our, you can't, you can't start a, you can't start a you can't start a chant you get their first look at their love their is that what you're gonna say no i was gonna say

the gear like a real in-depth look at the game gear as they're as they're trying to like skeptic you got carp with the football helmet you got connie with the peace sign on the front and hers is like sparkly and like um i think averman looks like it's like his mom's like sweater you know like you know what i mean like it like shawl everybody nobody cardigan the the only person that's actually wearing a hockey jersey is my boy gee he's wearing but what is that helmet i have that oh yes what notes. What is Guy's helmet? I think it's like a helmet from the 1930s. It looked rough. It did not look safe.

None of their helmets look safe except for Carp's because he had the football helmet on. That was probably pretty safe. But like Charlie's helmet looked like garbage. It was like broken so it was just like coming open all the time. It was awesome. But Guy's the only one wearing an actual hockey jersey.

And he's wearing, if I'm not mistaken, he's wearing a Montreal Canadiens jersey. I couldn't... I shouldn't say I couldn't. I wasn't paying enough attention to see what jersey it was. But I'm assuming he's wearing a Guy Lafore jersey.

A Montreal Canadian. The famous Montreal Canadian, Guy Lafore. That'd be great. Who I'm assuming Guy is named after. Let's hope. He's the only one wearing a hockey jersey. Everybody else has a sweatshirt, a hoodie, or even

on Guy's hockey jersey, he has D-5 written. Everybody's sweater, they just have D-5, except Charlie. I don't think Charlie has it written on his. No, he has a Minnesota hoodie on. Yeah, but there's no D-5 written everybody's sweater they just have d-except charlie i don't think charlie has it written on his no he has a minnesota hoodie on yeah but yeah there's no d5 written on it right because i know because like uh um terry uh jesse's little brother he's wearing a wisconsin badgers sweatshirt and he has d5 written on it like um yeah but everybody's just yeah they just it's sharpie or like felt marker or whatever it just says just on top of a sweater that already has a design they're just writing d5 on it nobody's nobody's color coordinated it's rough it's it's hilarious

all the way and then i love bombay's like yeah we're fired up and the kids are like come on man well he tries he tries to start a fucking chant with no no you know pre preamble to he doesn't give him any doesn't give him any instructions doesn't tell him what kind of beat we're going for he just starts fucking chanting no nobody's gonna jump in they don't know what you're doing he is not in his prime as a coach he's got to communicate around you got to communicate bombay if you little rough around the edges. You got to communicate, Bombay. If you're going to do a fucking chant, you got to communicate it, okay? And so after all this happens,

we pan to the Hawks hitting the goalies' shin pads. And this is excellent stuff right here. When they go over to Goldberg and the goalie is like, oh, great, good, good guys. Yeah, nice. Ouch. Cool. Great idea. to goldberg and the goalie he's like oh great good good guys yeah nice ouch cool is he is he wearing goldberg's gear is insane he's wearing a flyers jersey i think oh that's right so he he's

the other one who has a hockey jersey on he's got a flyer jersey on yeah so it's him and gee but he's wearing was he wearing like baseball catcher pads is that what he was wearing i think it is like and then he and then he had he had a normal hockey helmet on it was not a goalie helmet he just a normal hockey and he's not i don't think he was wearing any pads in his under his jersey it seemed if they were there now it makes sense that he didn't want to be the goalie i wouldn't want to be i'm not wearing any fucking pads i don't want to be a goddamn goalie i put that in here too i was like it makes sense that he didn't want to get hit with the puck i bet that really hurt yeah like i bet he actually hurt him when he got hit with the puck

he didn't have any fucking bats like it makes sense that he didn't want to get hit like everyone needs to cut goldberg a break at this first part because like i wouldn't want to do that either but uh i i love that and then charlie goes too hard and wipes out goldberg at the end to end the line yeah yeah he goes too hard he knocks he knocks him down and then goldberg yells at him he's like oh come on dude what the heck and then he comes back and starts hitting him more he's like oh i'm sorry gold sorry sorry sorry sorry with his hockey stick like that'll that'll get you really fired up move charlie it's amazing and then we show jesse and terry's dad which we got to give him a shout out because

we got a heck of a dab right there uh holding it down and supporting his sons like nobody's business yeah yeah jesse and terry's dad he's uh he crushed his day he uh uh it's a little later on um but yeah he calls out bombay it's it's a little later on in the movie but he's he calls out bombay for being a shitty coach you know he's he's on top of things and then he mentions he's he's working overtime to pay for uh them to play hockey so no yeah he's like jesse terry and then we see fulton lurking in the background yeah little preview and he's sitting next to charlie's mom up there in the stand so it's kind of like a nice little you know take taking a look at the stands we got some fans up in there we got fulton little preview he's big kid too and So I love that. And then it's Game Time, Brandon. And we've got Guy, Terry, and Jesse. They all

go up for the face off together. And this is a line that would never work today. But the kid from the hot... It's the best line. It's the Oreo line. What is this? The Oreo line? Yeah. I just was like, oh! oh to this day that's the

line that sticks with me the most whenever whenever i think about this movie the oreo and then jesse is always ready to fight people well he's the enforcer yeah he's the enforcer so he's like okay cool now it's time for me to throw down yeah as as averman as averman called him he's the enforcer you know so he's yeah yeah he's always ready to to throw down. As Averman called him, he's the enforcer. He's always ready to throw down at the drop of a hat. Speaking of Averman, we've got um, bada bada hey, bada bada

ho, bada bada swing, bada bada. Averman, it's hockey. There's no batter, idiot. Yeah, I love the idiot at the end. Bombay calls it idiot what a terrible coach averman immediately switches gear without missing a beat yeah bombay calling him an idiot doesn't faze him at all which is pretty amazing because yeah

it's so it's such a just an move he he's like this is hockey not baseball you fucking idiot like idiot god like averman is so funny in this movie i love every all these lines were just beautifully done and wonderfully written so uh yeah shout out to to what they did with the Averman there. But then we get the game kicking off, and everyone just starts falling down. Oh, my. The game starts. So Guy is the one who ends up taking the faceoff for the Oreo line, and he loses the faceoff and just gets fucking run over. Yeah, dump trucked by a big-ass dude.

Dump trucked right away. Yeah. And then they score right away it's right off the face off everybody starts falling down gee gets lit up and then banks makes it over shoots a goal one nothing and then they skate over uh the hawks skate over to the bench and the first right after the first goal five seconds into this fucking game you hear coach yelling at the team run it up yep run it up that's the first thing he says and and and he also gives a classic all right all right yeah

oh god i like he's such a great heel you know we talked about like wrestling heels the bad guys and like the wwf they're they're called heels coach riley plays such a great heel because of the psychology of his character and like how it makes you hate him so much because he's such a bastard he does a really good job the actor who plays him is lane smith yeah who's uh he's running up run it up he's a famous actor he's in a whole bunch of um but he i think he does a fantastic job of like delivering these lines similarly to like stephanie and game changers to where it's it's so like he's what he's saying is mean as fucking shit but he says it in such like a calm soothing voice and his his cadence is very measured and slow that it doesn't it doesn't

read as mean as it is right away like it takes you a second to think about it and you're like what the fuck did he just say to me well it's just classic midwest me yeah like it's it's if you are from the midwest you have you can see it and you can experience it and so like when you see all this comments you're like oh boy that guy sucks yeah you know like you can just kind of like see right through it but oh man but it just like sits there for a little while like you're talking to him and he's just so passive aggressive with it all yeah he says something and then you're you're like going along with the conversation don't really notice it and then you're sitting at home laying in bed at night and you're it just eats at you the whole

night you're like fuck i can't believe you said that to me yeah like oh and it does that's why that's where like that passive aggressiveness it just doesn't hit you at that moment but as you're trying to fall asleep you're like oh man and then you're not sleeping or or 20 20 years later when you get a dui you're like fuck yeah that guy fucked me up yeah that's my therapist helped me realize that from from my my counseling but like i love this too because i right after riley's like run it up run it up the hawks start running it up like they're skating circles my favorite goldberg just throws his gloves down he's like go ahead he throws the gloves down and he skates out out of the net and he's like just go just take it just score i just oh man i was laughing so hard at that just because he's like you know what fuck it like it's like i can't stop you anyways and it hurts i don't have any pads

um and bombay gives the most unenthusiastic line change, line change, go, go, whatever. And the kids are just like rolling out, like falling onto the ice, like just getting murdered. And then they, they pan to the parents and Jesse's dad and Charlie's mom are just looking at each other. Like, Oh boy, here, here we go again. We knew this was going to get rough. And then all of a sudden

Connie gets crushed Guy gets destroyed he gets roughed up in this game he takes like three or four hard hits like bad hits at the center line and Goldberg is getting destroyed but I do have to say he put up a lot better fight than Koob did. He's at least moving. I do appreciate Goldberg's effort. His skills are terrible. Mainly probably because he doesn't have any pads. I don't

fully blame him, but he's a terrible goalie. But he's at least, like you said, he's moving. He tries most of the time, other than when he just threw the gloves down and ran away. When he's at least like you said he's moving he he tries most of the time other than the when he just threw the gloves down and ran away but he's trying like the the the goal that banks has where he does like the wraparound he like skates around gold goldberg like tries to chase him which is you know not strategically not the best move but a for effort you're trying you know but yeah just uh garbage skills um whereas coop coop the the

issue was he just didn't move for whatever because he didn't think he could move he had the you know he had the yips or something i don't know what coop's issue was but neither of them are good goalies you know we're we're just we're counting down the minutes until julia the cat gets here that's that's what we're doing which We're trying to bide our time. Absolutely. And then what did you think about this crowd? This is a huge crowd, and they are chanting, banks, banks, banks. I thought that was just so absurd.

Well, we're at the Hawks home arena. I think it was called the parade arena, if I saw the sign correctly. It's the Hawks home game, so we're at their home arena. I know, but they're 10, and you're chanting this 10-year-old's name. It's just, I don't know. It's just a little weird show. It's Adam fucking Banks, though. Adam fucking Banks.

He's getting his wheel snipe celly on, little Bardownskis, right? Like Bats with the Bardownskis. Well, I don't know. Did he have a Bardownski? I think all of his. No, no. He had a sick wraparound. He had the little wrister right out the gate that they showed. But yeah, he's wheel snipe selling for sure, bro.

Don't talk shit about banks, Pheasant. Yeah. Yeah. Let the boy enjoy his cheers, cheers okay i just thought it was just absolutely fucking absurd that the crowd was like banks banks like oh wow okay they're winning by a hundred against like a team that doesn't even have real equipment like come on like you're you're making the other team feel really bad they can barely even stand on their skates like calm down yeah well so so yeah they're killing them and then uh bombay is pissed on the bench how easy can you be

yeah he's losing his mind out there we get we get uh we get just get the hell out of here can you believe he says that to the kids on the bench he's like yelling at him and he's like i'll just get the hell out of here he's he's having a rough time and then we get we get we get one intermission break i forget if it's the first or the second intermission break that they show but that's before that before that we get um we get the uh charlie breakaway the big way charlie spaz where spaz way where he's on, he's on his breakaway. He completely fans in Bombay. Do you remember what he says?

Like on the way back to the bench? Oh, he says, yeah, keep swinging Charlie. You might, might give him a cold. I think that's,

that's super fucked up too. But so Charlie gets the, he him a cold. Yeah. That's super fucked up, too. But so Charlie gets the he steals a puck. He gets a breakaway. And Bombay gets fucking super pumped. He's like, finally, here we go. Here's the fucking goal. And Carp, the ever optimist, goes, no, it's Spazway. He's going to fuck it up.

He doesn't say fuck it up, but he's going to mess it up. And so, yeah, Charlie whiffs and falls, He's going to fuck it up. He's going to mess it up. Is what he says. Charlie whiffs and falls. Takes a digger into the boards. And then as he's getting up. Leaning on the boards. Banks comes in. Fucking hot.

He gets crushed. And I put it here. It looked like Josh Jackson's face. Actually got smashed up up into the board. It's like he looked like he took a fucking hit on that. I guarantee you Joshua Jackson, who's the actor who plays Charlie Conway for anybody who's unaware. Joshua Jackson, I guarantee you he got a concussion from that. Yeah, that looked like a real hit. And like, cause you, you could see. His face smashes the board. guarantee you he got a concussion from that yeah that was like a real hit and like because you

you could see his face smashes the board you could see the moisture from where his skin and like his nose got smashed up against the board like that was not safe no before like concussions and all that oh yeah i i guarantee you he got a concussion from that and i guarantee you none of he i guarantee you he nor any of the casting crew realized he had a concussion no absolutely and then and then riley is celebrating it all right hey get another all right all right all right oh my god and it's just i mean my favorite too is like we talked about it earlier where he pops the collar in celebration all the time so he's always he where he pops the collar in celebration all the time so he's always he's always popping the collar it's just such a good he like pops the

collar and then he does like the uh like the fonzie like shoulder roll yeah yeah yeah hey popping collars baby and then but this is where bombay talks the shit and then and then this is where we get the intro yes to our podcast it's not worth winning if you can't win big, Keith. And just mashing him with that hockey stick. Just Hulk smashing the kid's helmet. Once again, talking about concussions and stuff. You know, just absolutely Hulk smashing that kid with a hockey stick to the dome. Oh, the other thing.

All right. The other reason I guarantee you Joshua Jackson got a concussion during that hit is because he didn't have his helmet on when he was snatched into the boards. Yeah. Yeah. It was just. I'm telling you, like, there was moisture from, like, his skin, like, when your face, like, hits the whole surface. Like, it actually hit there and then like um i love that they go back to the game and goldberg's still out there getting crushed in bombay is like popping antacids on the bench is that what they were

antacids i know i noticed okay i noticed i figured it was antacids but i i i i did i didn't see the package so i couldn't tell yeah it looked like it was like some like old school 90s like roll aids um you know they almost look like mentos and maybe maybe maybe they were like uh i mean i don't know if they would be because they never show him smoking or anything maybe they're like nicotine tablets oh like a like like gum nicotine gum or uh or maybe he is so messed up he has like an ulcer and so it's kind of like he like, medicine for his ulcer. But, no, I assumed it was, like, antacids or something. Because he's got heartburn right now, Brandon.

Antacids would make sense. Like, popping antacid pills, that's a very 90s thing. That would make sense. Yeah, exactly. And then, so they just have been wiped out. It's 17 to nothing. Everyone's like, we're so embarrassing. And someone else was like, we need a new goalie.

Yeah. They, they point that it's right after, right after he Goldberg throws his gloves down and steps out of the way and like cuts to Averman. I think, I forget who he's talking to. I think he's talking to Connie. Yeah. He's like, oh my God, we need a new goalie. Yeah.

Yeah. And the game ends with 17 to nothing and i love that riley is like riley is like uh lousy third period but great job banks new hawks record yeah so yeah banks got a new hawks record for most goals in a game yeah he says he says tough third period. Great job, Banks. Playing a team like this, we should have twice as many goals, I think is what he says. Yeah, and he calls them like jokesters or something.

It's these nobodies. You know what they should do? You know what District 5 should do? They should not bother. Don't bother, D5. Get out of here and i love that uh riley gives bombay the ultimate dick send off where he's like hey nice game i enjoyed it thoroughly and then he pops the collar again and starts laughing a little like okay little hand motion he does it's fantastic i enjoyed it thoroughly oh man it's just he did and then so that

triggers bomb oh he fucking lashes out lashes out just digging into these kids you guys stink i thought we came to play hockey and i loved it he's like you guys enjoy losing is it fun they're like well no but you kind of get used to it yeah that's abraman right yeah you get used to it after a while um but then they call him out it's like well it's not like you coached us at least we went out there and tried like yeah shit guy terry and jesse yeah stick up terry's like yeah at least we gave it a shot yeah and then uh but what does bombay say bomb say bombay says like why won't says, like, why won't you just listen to me? And that's when Jesse stands up, the enforcer.

Yeah, why the hell should we? Exactly. Boom. Dropping the mic. Gotta love those Hall brothers, dude. They keep it together. And then, so then after he's done, after bombay's done screaming at all the 10 year olds on the bench it pans to the the stands and that's when we get our first shot of hans and you see

he's not he's just disappointed oh and that's the worst yeah that's the worst because you know deep down there's a fiery rage, but you can't let the kids see that. Right. Because if they see that rage, then they are going to develop rage. But if you keep, well,

I don't even know. They could fix it, but man, he was disappointed in Bob. I don't know if Hans, I don't know if Hans strikes me as somebody who's not even capable of rage. I feel like he,

I agree. He's just a sage. sage yeah and so it's it just goes from like he slightly upset to just ridiculously disappointed i think are his like his his his evil not as evil he's like that's like his range of bad emotions he's either slightly upset or he's incredibly disappointed yeah and he was that'll hit you like a gut punch well sure well because like i they they kind of get into it in the movie they show a little bit of hans's but he's like he's uh an old friend of of bombay's dad yeah right so he and i'm assuming he was real close there's a photo they show of all of hans his dad's a family friend yeah it would be like

it would be yeah it would be i assume it's similar to you know disappointing your uncle or something like that you know like that kind of is familiar but as long as you're close to your uncle if you if you have a shitty uncle it probably wouldn't be the same but well and it kind of alluded to that after his dad died hans kind of became a father figure uh it alludes to that later where it's like alludes to that because he says he spent so i knew it was you because it was late at night and you came to the back door and you used to just watch me sharpen skates yeah but i guess that that that goes into i i would like some more i would like more of a timeline, more of a concrete timeline on Bombay. Either way, Hans is just a wise sage family friend.

Wise sage family friend, yeah. Bombay just didn't want to disappoint, and guess what? He did. Yeah. He really did. Because then after that, Brandon, we cut, and we have carp fucking dumpster diving again. And so we need people from the Twin Cities to reach out to this podcast because I need clarification.

He's not dumpster diving. Not this time. Are you sure? Because they pull out all these Sports Illustrated Swimster editions. I assume he found them in the dumpster. I don't think he found them in the dumpster i don't think he i don't think he found them in the dumpster because they were in boxes they were all stacked perfectly nice i'm assuming they stole that from like a like a like a dock or like a you know like

a store was getting a shipment newsstand got a shipment and they snagged a box and they snagged i think they said like two boxes i think there's a lot there's a lot of sports illustrated swimsuit editions in there. I thought he was dumpster diving again, and I was going to say, we got to get clarification on if this is a thing that kids in the Twin Cities do or did in the 90s.

I assume so. I mean, dumpster diving, that's a very kid thing to do. Oh, geez. Maybe not for Wayne America. There aren't a. You know, Wayne, America. That's not really a lot of dumpsters. Yeah. But like you're if you're if you're a youth in like a downtown city, you know, don't find some good shit, you know?

Yeah. You can find heroin needles and get get some get hepatitis C. Yeah. There's worse ways to go. All right. So anyways. hepatitis c yeah there's there's worse ways to go here all right so anyways another but yeah i don't think that was dumpster diving i think they just like i'm assuming they stole it from like a delivery truck or something so yeah so they they bring it into a weird scene a weird fucking alley and they start uh handing them out and carp's gonna try to charge him for it yeah um i love it uh peter is always talking shit and he's like uh oh this one's from minneapolis oh hey gee it's your mom

and then the kids start chasing him and did you see in the subtitles like hey man give him a wedgie yeah give him what so he like backs up against the wall and then he starts he starts playing the victim he's like oh he's just joking guys i was just joking god fucking small guy syndrome you know so as as g is getting ready to give him a wedgie and give him the give him a what for we get we get a little hawk surprise right here come the cake either so i fucking love this right so they come in they're on rollerblades they come in they come in hot and they rip the sports illustrated out of everybody's hands and so they're they're flipping it around and though do you do you have the quotes oh i have everything verbatim leave me leave me up until the really good line because that's what i want to talk

about the really good line okay so so it starts off with that same kid that goes hey girls yeah um get some new material bud but um and then and then the other big guy goes does your mommy know you have that that's right yes and then then the other kid goes it's banks oh is it banks it says okay so banks banks goes no she's probably busy with the mailman that was a sophisticated burn no surprise from the cake eater hawks but that was awesome yeah what a what a fucking lie dude like because that's like an old school throwback burn that while the white the stay-at-home wife is doing the cooking and the cleaning she gets bored and she canoodles the mailman when he's dropping off he's dropping off more than your packages not the only package he's dropping yeah so um i i i

absolutely loved every second of that um so good And that might have been the other kid because then Banks goes, that'll make great bathroom reading. Yeah. And then, and then the other, and then it's a, you wouldn't know what to do with it anyway. Wuss breath.

And then Peter, once again, you're going to let them talk to you like that car. And then carp gets tossed in the trash. Carp gets tossed in the trash, and then the Hawks kids are laughing, and it zooms out, and you see big old feet coming up. You hear the poof, poof, poof, and it's fucking Fulton, right? Yeah.

So he comes up, and he grabs all three of the Hawks players, and he tosses them where does he toss them right onto carp i wrote down too i literally wrote l-o-l-o-l why did he throw him on top of carp like carp is just like so carp reminds not to go back to wrestling but carp reminded me of like the ref in the background that had to take the fall. And then the guys accidentally keep falling on top of him. And so he has to keep like, he's almost like playing dead in the background and just like dead there behind him as the Hawks are trying to get off of him. I just thought that was so funny.

Just dumped three, like as if it's not bad enough he's in the trash he gets the weight of three other kids thrown on top of him to press him deeper into three kids that are all bigger than him so funny um i got a really big kick out of that yeah that was amazing i thought that was and the uh and the kids are all thanking him afterwards thanks man right on man thank you and then he just kind of like walks away and then it's end scene yeah fulton leaves he doesn't say anything and he leaves as mysteriously as he entered you know yeah yeah and because throughout like the first half ish of the movie that might be a bad estimate but we fulton pops up every once in a while like he was in the the audience uh he was in the stands for all the games. He's just lurking in the background.

He never says anything. He's just doing weird little things and he, but, but he's helping them out. It's like the crow. Great fucking example. Like the crow. Yes. Yes. And so he's just real mysterious. We haven't, we haven't heard him talk yet. We don't know anything about him, but we don't even know his name at this point. I don't think so. Yeah. It's it's excellent and then we get to the the practice where bombay teaches them how to

cheat and just just taking everything that he was doing wrong as a lawyer and applying it to youth hockey what could go wrong well so this this always this always i love it when it starts to do like one two three and then carp just like jumps and falls like it doesn't really make any sense yeah well he's teaching them to take dives like whenever somebody touches them they hit the ground right like they just got hurt yeah it's like like like a like a soccer dive like just trying to milk but like that's all he teaches them right that's all he's doing how how this always confused me how are we planning to win the game are you like because they can't score goals they're just going to fall over yeah so i think he's maybe thinking they'll get a penalty shot and get lucky. But he's not.

It's a terrible strategy. You'd have to get incredibly lucky because you're not teaching them how to shoot the puck. You're just teaching them how to pull. Brandon, this is a loophole. You don't know shit about bird law. That's fair. That's fair. It just goes back to fucking Bombay's.

The stuff he teaches these kids in every single movie in the show, the stuff he teaches them is just batshit fucking crazy. But he teaches it well. And he's always talking shit to these kids. Did you hear what he says to Goldberg after Goldberg is laughing at Carp falling? No, no. He goes, what are you laughing at, cream cheese boy? You're next. Oh, yeah. are you laughing at cream cheese boy you're next oh oh yeah yeah so so that's that's his

with this team is he just talks shit to them the whole time that's that's another that's a oh that's a that's a terrible that's almost as bad as the oreo line honestly well because his his parents own a deli. Yeah. And with the last name Goldberg, I'm assuming probably Jewish. Yeah. Yeah. That's rough. Cream cheese boy. Yeah. But yeah, so he's coaching them to make the falls look real. He's talking a whole bunch of shit. And do you have the, do you have the chant he he

yeah i do um and i ever real quick before i do it uh averman has it takes one he's like come on averman look hurt he rolls over he's like i am hurt and i love averman but no the chant is take the fall act hurt get indignant who asks kids to chant indignant that was like the first thing i thought i was like take the fall act hurt get indignant what a weird thing to chant so i for for the longest time like watching this movie when I was a little kid I had no idea what the fuck he was saying you know I still am not entirely sure what indignant means I'm not 100% sure

it's like showing your hurt or showing your angry or something like that right it's I honestly now I'm gonna go really quick yeah go to Google really quick because, now that you're putting me on the, Google it really quick. Yeah. Go to Google really quick. Cause like, now that you're putting me on the spot, I can't think of it at all.

Like my brain, just everything left. It's like a soggy bowl of cereal. So indignant. It's an adjective. It's feeling or showing anger or annoyance at what is perceived as unfair treatment that's a fucking word okay it's the perfect i mean bombay is having these kids lawyer up yeah but like i i remember like hearing that when i first watched it when i was a little kid and for the years that i watched it as a little kid not like not even understanding what he was saying i just thought

it was like fucking gibberish yeah i i thought to say like just like what is what does this even mean yeah but there you go feeling or showing anger or annoyance at what is perceived as unfair treatment oh that's awesome and so um we show we show we see them getting trained right they're getting trained up on how to cheat, how to take their falls. And so now we're jumping into the next game. And right out of the gate, Goldberg takes a fall while they're shooting at him in the goal, leaving the goal wide open. And Ben stops and complains to the ref to open his eyes open your eyes

so i love because in in his fall he like throws his equipment right and then he after they score the goal he takes his helmet off and he skates up to the ref and so he does this in the second movie too there's a couple scenes where he's like yelling at the ref and it's some of the best scenes ever because he's just like it's like this little 10 year old kid who's like he all of his equipment's off he's just like looking up at the ref and he's like what the heck ref open your eyes can't you see they're tripping me oh it's so good and then he goes to the bench and bombay's like goldberg it's not well you're they're shooting at you and Goldberg's like sorry guess you didn't specify great

great moment right there and the ref comes over and is like one more if you guys fake a if you guys do this one more time if you start diving one more time I'm gonna forfeit to the Jets and the Jets the Jets are

rocking some pretty fucking sweet sweaters, too. They got a sweet jersey design. It's like a little baby blue, and you got dark blue and red as trim. It's nice. Yeah, I like that, too. Did you like Bombay? Like, I'm offended. Yeah.

His voice goes up like 18 pitches when he says that, too. Yeah, I'm affected. And then I also, the fun thing that they did on the bench where Terry kept was cheering the team on and he kept smacking Carp in the head and Carp's like, quit it. I don't know why they put it in there, but it was just so funny because like, it's like such a thing that kids do and will do on accident. Right.

Like it's a very authentic kind of moment. That's great. It just made me laugh so hard. So they, so then you get, uh, Charlie's getting pinned on the, uh,

up against the board. Yeah. And you could, you could tell a little bit during the practice when he's teaching everybody to, to fall to Charlie. Charlie's not having the best time of his life right now he's not digging it so then during the game he's pressed up against uh the boards uh with the with the puck there and he doesn't he doesn't

die if he doesn't he doesn't fake a fall he doesn't act indignant you know yeah or get indignant do you act indignant or do you get indignant no you take the fall you act hurt and you get indignant. Do you act indignant or do you get indignant? No, you take the fall, you act hurt, and you get indignant. He did none of those. He did zero of the three. Yeah, just really struck out there. But the puck gets stuck underneath somebody, so the ref blows the whistle, calls for a face-off. And Charlie skits over to Bombay. Bombay calls him over.

Bombay is not having it. He's like, you over to Bombay. Bombay calls him over. He's like, Charlie. Bombay is not having it. He's like, you got to fucking fall. Hit the deck, Charlie. He's like, when they pin you up, go, oh, my eye. And when they let you out, take off and score the goal. Or hit the deck. That's it.

He doesn't say take off and score the goal because that would be actually good advice. Yeah, he's taking the fall. He's like, oh my eye, hit the deck and then he gets a penalty. And Charlie gives him a like a, are you fucking kidding me look and then skates back to take the face off. Same thing happens again, right off the face off gets up against the boards

and I love this scene because Charlie's getting smushed by two Jets players and he's just just lifelessly staring at Bombay like those dead eyes and he's wearing the shitty little helmet that he has and so one of the Jets

sticks is like up underneath the helmet just like rubbing against his face and he's just like stuck there staring and luckily he eventually Like wakes up and pokes the puck out He doesn't do He makes a smart fucking hockey move

He kicks the puck out to Guy And Guy takes it and starts going And Bombay freaks out because god forbid Charlie make a good hockey play You know He fucking starts screaming at him And then Charlie skates over And he's like He screams at him He yells screaming at him And then Charlie skates over And he's like

He screams at him He yells something at him He's like Well because At first so the game ends And I don't remember He yells at him He does it in the locker room

So the game ends But before he yells at him though Did you catch what Jesse said Stupid cake eater tricks. Yes. So good. I loved it, man. I was like, that's us.

We're spitting stupid cake eater tricks everywhere. And then someone else was like, oh, that was embarrassing. And that's where this is where Bombay comes in hot. Yeah. And he's like, what I say to do something, you do it. Look at me. you got it and um that's when charlie's like you can't make me cheat yeah and he storms out storms out and then jesse and terry's dad comes in and he gets bombay the business yeah that's what he brings up his

overtime yeah he's doing overtime to pay for this and he he's not doing it so he can watch him fucking fake falls and fucking yeah like you know he gave up his overtime pay like that's important for a dad in the twin cities trying to oh yeah especially early fucking hockey gear early 90s yeah dude you gotta get that overtime pay so that is a big deal and like he should be pissed i'm glad he gave bombay the business yeah to wake him up a little bit right yeah yeah again great great parent he's top notch so far from what from what we've seen from from mr hall um he's killing it crushing it yeah he's he's easily jumping up as one of the top parents of the show and so after that they all kind of like take, they all kind of storm out. Yeah.

Well, it was kind of one by one. They get all, they get upset. Yep. Yep. And so that's, that's the end of the scene for the game. And then the next time we see the, the, the movie jump back in, it's Bombay. He's walking towards the skate shop. He's walking toward Hans's sports shop.

Yep. What is that a fucking castle? What is Hans' sports shop? It looks like a castle. It looked like a part cabin slash... It looked like a castle.

Pull up a... It looked like it was made of stone. It looked like a goddamn castle. And it was massive. How fucking huge is that sports shop? It was huge. I assumed it was like right by the park there.

And so everyone that comes out to like skate on the lake in the park that they were practicing on, like they come through like han's sports shop or something i don't know it was crazy that place is the depths didn't make sense always like you know what i mean like the square footage didn't always make sense it's during the show because sometimes it felt like a really small mom and pop shop and then like when the kids go shopping it almost looked like a modern massive hockey youth hockey store yeah it's definitely huge but so like i have the photo up right now of hansa sports shop it's definitely made a fucking stone it looks like a castle now it's not as it doesn't look as it doesn't look super tall like when i first saw it in the in the movie i

thought it was like real tall because it looks like it's like a fucking or it looks like it's two stories for sure because there's windows but it's on the sports shop it's the way they have it it's like he goes there at night it's there's no fucking walkway or parking maybe it is the parking lot but it's just covered in snow. Covered in snow. All you can see is snow on the ground. And it's weirdly dimly lit where you can't really see anything. They're setting an ambiance, Brandon.

It's very mysterious for a hockey shop. But yeah, so he goes in there. Because he needs his spirit guide. They're setting the ambiance that he's going to. It definitely has a medieval fucking spirit guide they're setting it they set the ambience that he's going to it definitely has like a like a medieval fucking spirit guide vibe because of the stone castle that he's in yeah and then and then he walks through the back door and hans already knows it's him just like you used to so he went through the back door which is weird because the shot they show of him walking up he's walking right into the front door yeah it's weird but yeah but then

yeah so you see him he's he opens the back door and he's just standing there for for like a couple seconds and yeah that's when hans is like oh i know it's you what are you doing gordon you used to do that when you were a kid all the time that's how i know it's you yeah and then he does the catch-up trick he busts out the catch-up trick and then um but i didn't so i had to ask you maybe i just didn't know but uh bombay's like you're morbid hans and hans is like i'm scandinavian ha ha ha and i was like aren't scandinavians known to be like a morbid people to have like a very dark sense of humor i i i don't i guess i didn't realize how little i knew about scandinavia prior to this moment in time i don't know about like it's not like the canadians i don't know about

like modern day or like 90s that they had like a real reputation of being morbid i do know that like norse and like scandinavian mythology oh that can get really dark it's some real fucking trippy shit yeah oh yeah i watched vikings on that show on tv where they just like sacrifice fools just for kids like oh freya let me just slice my neighbor's uh throat that'll yeah i'll give me a good harvest yeah and then like the yeah you got like the yeah the viking lore and mythology for all that is real fucking crazy. And then you have the mythology stories of Odin and Thor and all that. I actually just listened to Norse

mythology on Audible. Yeah, that shit's crazy and real fucking fucked up. It's insane. If you thought the Romans and the Greek gods were mean and crazy and shit they're the norse are a lot worse they're not as they're not as sexual as like the

roman and the greek gods but they're they're definitely scarier yeah man you don't want to fuck with loki no you don't fuck with any of them you definitely don't want to fuck with odin like norse mythology odin is fucking terrifying. The dude has an army of fucking crows, bro. Or maybe, are they ravens? They might be ravens. I think they're ravens. Yeah, I'm pretty sure they're ravens. And Thor is like

a drunken bro bastard that just murders people for kicks. Thor's kind of a piece of shit, too. Anyways, I just thought that was funny. I was kind of a piece of shit, too. Oh, yeah. Anyways, I just thought that was funny. I was like, oh, are Scandinavians dark?

I guess. I'll take Hans' word for it. I guess, yeah. I mean, if anybody would know, it's him. Yeah. And then so Bombay is like, oh, man, I saw you at the game, and you didn't say hi. Why was that?

And I love what Hans said here. He's like, well, you were so busy screaming at the kids, you didn't say hi. Why was that? And I love what Hans said here. He's like, well, you were so busy screaming at the kids. I didn't want to spoil the moment. Yeah, he didn't want to ruin the vibes, you know? I just love that so much because it's another, like, really passive-aggressive shot. Like, I didn't want to spoil your moment with the kids. Like, making him think about his behavior towards those children and yelling at them calling him cream cheese boy fucking hans he's he's fantastic yeah

oh it's it's so good and so they're walking around the skate shop um and he's got game hasn't changed so why should the store yes and he's the thing i love about hansa skate shop um in this movie and they show it a bunch in the second movie too is the the walls are just covered with like hot like old hockey stuff like yeah they have like newspaper clippings newspaper clippings they have pictures of like like the university of minnesota yeah like team photos and like newspaper photos it's just the walls are covered with like hockey memorabilia and stories it's pretty fucking sick and so then while they're doing that bombay sees the i don't know again hans why are we why are we

framing the newspaper clipping of gordon bombay's worst day of his life did you also like how he kept calling him a doctor instead of a lawyer yeah i thought that was i thought that was good but yeah like how shitty of that newspaper to put bombay on like a 10 year old on blast like this kid missed a shot look at this moment of shame it was still tied it was still tied like everyone get off that kid's back i feel bad for gordon i'm surprised he doesn't have i'm surprised he doesn't have worse issues we're just lucky he became an alcoholic lawyer at this point like good god really dodged a bullet there that's like it's like ben in parks and rec with Ice Town type of situation That's Bombay's Ice Town Is that Miss Goal

Anyways I love that Hans has that Frame on the wall too He says it's important To remember the past Yes it's important to remember the past His dad died that year Well so yeah this is when we started

Getting sage you know Spirit guide hans because bombay looks at that and he's like that was the worst year of my life i missed the shot and my dad died and hans goes you know the two are not related right yeah like um you missing a shot and your dad dying are two very separate things yes you know um but bombay says it felt like they were which just goes back to fucking you missing a shot and your dad dying are two very separate things. Yes. You know, um, but Bob says it felt like they were, which just goes back to fucking coach Riley. Cause he,

cause coach Riley brought his fucking dad right before. He's like, I wish your dad could see you. Don't let him down. Yeah. Don't let your dead dad down. Like what a fucking psycho. That's so absurd.

But did you hear how many goals he scored that season? 198. I wrote that down, too. 198 goals. That makes no fucking sense. Well, I guess maybe not. I mean, if he's on the Hawks and they're winning 17 to nothing every game, maybe it does make sense.

Yeah, they'd have to. Still, they'd have to score almost, like, what, 20 goals? If they play 10 games. Well, they play more than 10 games. If they play 20 games, they have to still, they'd have to score almost like what? 20 goals. If they play 10 games, they have to, well, they play more, they play more than 10 games. That's right.

They play 20 games. They have to, I think they play more than, I think they play more than 20. Okay. That's we'll, we'll, we'll have to,

we'll have to wait until we get to the, like the standings thing and see what it looks. It's still, that's a shit ton of goals for a kid. That's why. And I like that. I like that. He's like,

yeah. And I guess he's like yeah and i guess he's like and i could have gone all the way and he was like no man you you really like to play hockey remember yeah like yeah well enjoy playing yeah and he talks about riley yeah well because hans to set it up a little better hans is talking about that year he's like you scored 198 goals it's a real shame that you stopped playing and then that's when bombay is like yeah because i could have gone all the way whatever that's you know whatever and then that's when hans is like no no it's a shame you quit because you loved to play yeah

you know and then and then yeah then he talks he's like riley coach riley riley was an idiot yeah it ruined it for you and he saw what and he said like i saw what riley did to you yeah that day like calling out like dude that was all him man and so hans prods him and says don't be riley right like that's the sage message that got delivered here don't you are being riley right now yelling at these kids don't teach them to be jerks teach them to play and have fun teach them to fly yeah don't teach them to win teach them to have fun teach them to fly yeah great great advice and and so then he then he shoves some skates and bombs so i i i loved this part where he gives him the skates because this is he's like this is why he came here right to get some skates and he's like

to coach yeah and he's like uh he's like you're a nine and a half right i got you nine and a half and bombay goes actually i'm a nine and so and then hans hits him with now now i wear thick socks he says wear thick socks gordon which i i feel like this falls under the sage spirit guide thing because I feel like that advice is about more than socks. You know? I think so. I think wear thick socks is great advice that

you can apply to every situation. You mean toughen up, bud? No, not in that way. Not like get thick skin. In like an adaptation way. You know? Like your skates are too big?

Wear thick socks, Gordon. How do you make those skates thick? Yeah, your situation's not the best? Put some thick socks on, Gordon. You got this, Gordon. We love Hans, man. We should make that into a shirt. Wear thick socks. Wear thick socks, man. We should make that into a shirt. Wear thick socks.

Wear thick socks. I was going to say earlier when we were talking about Bombay's dead dad, and I used the phrase don't let your dead dad down. I think we should make that into a shirt too. I feel like that just rolls off the tongue. Don't let your dead dad down.

There's some great alliteration, but I don't want to wear that in public we'll start we'll start with wear thick socks and then if that's a hit we'll we'll throw in don't let your dead dad down i feel like the dude from white people humor meme page on instagram would would definitely get on board with it don't let your dead dad down sure so um but so he grabs it he got he grabbed i i always have to remember this i was talking to one of my one of my friends uh the other day um a little backstory about me i have a deceased a deceased mother from uh she passed away when i was like 12 years old so dead parent jokes i don't know if jokes is the right call this is the right word to call it but dead parent stuff

cracks me up and i always forget that people don't have the same situation don't have the same background that i do and it does not crack them up as much as it cracks me up like i with with danny danny my roommate i'll make i make i make like dead mom jokes about myself all the time to danny and i can see danny's like panic in his face where he's like i don't know how to handle the situation you're making him really fucking uncomfortable dude i always i always have to remember to pull it in so that's that's where the the don't let your dead dad down thing came from i i forgot to to pull it in you know good god i mean the listeners out there let's all send brandon a virtual hug for a second like you should you

should send the people that i talk to virtual hugs that's those yeah because you're maliciously making them uncomfortable with your horribly morbid sense of humor. That's great stuff. But wear thick socks is for sure going to be a shirt. We're going to throw that up there. Wear thick socks. All right. I love it. That's what you should take away from the scene.

Wear thick socks. Don't let your dead dad down. Wear thick socks, people. But we've got Bombay. He throws those skates on he laces them up he hit the ice we get the solo skate the solo skate the solo skate and you can feel the magic is being sprinkled in the music is setting the stage you know and here comes that minnesota miracle man that gleam is in his eye, Brandon.

Yep. And then we get, we, so he's doing the solo skate. He's out on the pond by himself, rediscovering why he loves hockey. And we intermix with that. We get a flashback to, to, to young Gordon Bombay. And we get a little more, we get a scene with his dad. Yep. He's just having fun. And you know what happens in the, in the flashback, Heath?

A little triple deke. Triple deke. yeah he's just having fun and you know what happens in the in the flashback heath a little triple deke triple deke and then i love it because he so little little gordon bombay that's what i'm gonna call him little gordy he does the triple deke and he shoots it into the little like trash can right is that what he's playing a little trash can yeah um while he's skating out on the pond and then he shoots it scores and he goes uh his celebration fucking cracked me up because he like puts his hands up he's like oh what a shot what a guy not just a great hockey player but what a great guy yeah it just fucking cracked me up because i i'm sure we've all been there you know you're you're playing you're playing sports in your backyard or out in the park by yourself and you're providing commentary yeah you know uh and and no i used to do that all the time i had like

a little mini like with those little tykes basketball hoop i even when i got older i would like recreate my own version of nba game down in that like make tournaments oh dude yes that's what you do the you do the imagination you do like the last second shot you're like countdown three You do like the last second shot and you're like, Countdown three, two, one. And then you miss it. And you're like, oh no, there's still one second left on the clock. Oh, it secretly got tipped out with one second left. He gets another shot.

Oh, and then he gets another shot. It's like, God fucking damn it. Why can't I make the second shot? But yeah, so it's a really touching moment. It's a really beautiful scene. You know, he's just the innocence of youth seeing that beautiful moment.

Do you by chance have what his dad says to him? I forget what his dad says to him. No, I didn't. Anything? No, I don't think it was. No, it wasn't. Just like just when he says, go on, get out there. When he's like, just go on, get out there. That's what it is. His dad tells him to come inside.

It's time to go inside. And he says, no, just a couple more minutes. And his dad, his dad just, you know, showing how much his dad meant to him being very encouraging. You know, probably, probably very similar to Nick's mom's where he's delightful and encouraging just a real great conversation yep exactly uh and then so this gives bombay a little bit of remorse for how he treated the kids but more importantly how he treated charlie and so yes we see bombay entering an apartment building and he is knocking

on the door and we've got charlie's making a house call making a house call which is the bombay special baby how he weasels his way in man oh that's just maybe a maybe a couple drinks maybe stay the night i don't know it's it's bombay all things are on the table but charlie's mom cracks the door um and and she's like furious yeah she's bitch she's like get out of here charlie quit he doesn't want to deal with this anymore uh and and he was like you say he doesn't ever want to play hockey again yep yeah yep and so that's gonna hit close to home yeah and yeah there's once again trauma trauma trauma coming up for bombay but he's like hey man i got something to say to both of you guys uh and and i came to apologize and she's like well you should you're a real dick you know he's very up front

with it um and i love that she's like charlie there's someone here to see you and he comes like flying in and he sees it it's bombay and he's like oh yeah it's you what went from excitement to just pure agony just and he and so he's like hey listen man you know uh like mr mackie shooting's bad i'm good that's what i thought of when he said i'm like hey charlie jones bad i'm coming like i don't know why it's just random anyways i type in random heat thoughts when i'm watching these sometimes i gotta like remember when to to tailor them in anyways so he's talking about it it's like hey we got to play fair um we gotta we gotta go through all this kind of stuff but and he can't really say that he's sorry and so charlie's mom is like yeah he's he's struggling he's like i'm i'm i'm he's like you know he just

can't get the word out you know yeah and she's like she's like you're sorry and he's like yes i'm sorry okay i'm sorry i said it are you fucking happy and i love that she said it and then charlie just immediately is like well yeah he he took the he took the apology and was like boom everything's forgiven do you want to sleep with my mom like hey dad yeah stepdad bomb bang yeah well yeah yeah really great he went from quitting hockey and never wanting to play again it's like, hey, you want to hook up with my mom? Pretty sick wing man there, Bombay. So anyway, so yeah, that was a great moment where... Ask Bombay if he wants to stay for dinner.

And then Bombay, and then his mom comes in hot. She's like, what the fuck are you doing, Charlie? Yeah. You know? Do you think he actually did stay for dinner i always wondered that well no because like uh because he looks at his mom at her his mom and bombay looks at her and she was like yeah you should do it because my thought when she not oh she did okay i didn't yeah she didn't catch the night she gave the head nod. She came in hot and was like, what are you doing, Charlie? To like, no.

So I didn't catch the secondary head nod. Yeah, well, because it caught her off guard. And then Bombay, like when she saw that, because she was embarrassed, right? So it's like, whoa, what are you doing? What are you doing? And then she saw Bombay kind of like, well, would you want me to stay? He says, no, no no that's okay well actually what do you have yeah and she's like you know you can stay and so so she did sign off on on him hanging around um and you can't blame her we got a fancy lawyer she wants to get the

fuck out of that fancy he's he's a disgraced lawyer at the moment well a disgraced lawyer still making that cheddar Brandon he's on a leave of absence and getting paid he's still making money like lawyer money and he's got a limo on call too you know it's styling and profiling

nature boy Ric Flair he's a Emilio's a handsome fella wow styling and profiling nature boy Ric Flair. Emilio's a handsome fella. Emilio! She could do much worse. She could do without the alcoholic,

the alcoholism. Other than that, she could do worse. Bombay hits the drop-in scene, now bombay's gonna get some funding so we have him yes yeah we we got it we need to address the equipment situation that is that is now that's now that bombay's coaching is back on board we think hopefully um the the We think, hopefully. The only thing standing in our way is equipment. So luckily this doesn't get drug out too far,

like a show that will remain unnamed. They get right down to brass tacks, and they make sure these kids know how to fucking play, and they've got some gear to play hockey. And they're not stealing it. They're getting it the right way. They're not taking it from the lost and found. They aren't stealing it, but

they're fucking lining Hans' pocket. You know? Hans made a pretty fat $15,000 check. That's only $7,800. They showed the number at the end. Because the rest went to ice time brandon

no they already had ice time they've they've been practicing this whole time they already had ice outdoors they got real real they already they already did a rink are you sure that's where they were falling oh that's true okay they already had ice time so the so they spent seven whatever it was at Hans'. That's all they show you. They probably spent some more. Let's not jump too far ahead to the shopping spree. But I'm assuming

the rest of the $15,000 or maybe not the rest of it, but a good chunk of the $15,000 went to the jersey. Oh, the jerseys. Which I'm assuming Hans got a cut off because hans sports shop is probably placing the order yeah for the for the through the vendor and so hans is taking uh hans is making out like a fucking bandit here it's called supporting local

businesses brandon you should not be hating on this that's true sure hashtag shop small exactly see hashtag shop small but yeah there's that i love the way that bombay like finagled it with duckworth too he's like oh they can't afford anything um you know and he's just selling his heart out for these kids and duckworth is rightfully so gonna shut down 15k yeah he he was he was interested in it and then he asked how much and then bombay was like 15 000 and he pulled back he was like whoa but then bombay comes in with the the piece de resistance yeah i can get you your own jersey sold boom and he also do i can't remember because i didn't write it down. He like does like a newspaper clipping Duckworth Law

saves community hockey team or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is how we get the name Ducks. It's because they're naming it part of the 15K that they're getting from the law firm is they're going to name the team after the firm. So the

Ducks for Ducksworth and then spoiler alert that comes down the line a little bit. law firm is they're going to name the team after the firm so the ducks for ducksworth and then spoiler alert that comes down the line a little bit so i would love so we'll we'll talk about that later on when we hit that um because now we get i got thoughts on the name okay we get it's no viper freeze that's, you know, we needed it for the quack. But anyways, we got some cash. Now we got to go spend. So we get a super dope shopping spree in Hans' store. And I remember as a kid, like, even though I didn't play hockey, like, I love this scene.

Like, they were just going to town. The way of, like, boxing with the gloves and um struggling to put his pants on i was just gonna say that i still to this day it cracked me up then it cracked me up when i just watched it again and uh him fighting with those pants to put them on is gold right there and then and then charlie I feel like I actually relate a lot to Charlie. Not like that. I would have been like the best player on the team, but just like his like spaz way sense.

Like I played sports, but it never looked good. Like even like when I ran, I've run like five tough mudders as an adult and like, I can do every single obstacle, but if you are looking for someone to do it with beauty and grace, oh boy, I am not your guy. It looks, I will do it, but it looks like a fucking train wreck doing it. And so anyways, with that tangent aside, that is Charlie grabbing a stick, dropping the other one, and then just wiping out the whole shelving a stick like i do dumb shit like that on accident all the time like murphy's law you know whatever can go wrong will

yeah oh man i just i just laughed so hard at that because it's like that's something i would have done on accident really embarrassed myself and i love that he like he like strikes like a weird pose after it does it to try to like not be like it's like oh it wasn't me like strikes a pose to try to make sure uh distracts his attention but oh man it's just i i love everything about this yeah it's fantastic and then you get so after charlie good vibrations playing in the background sorry i had to mention that good vibration yeah come on and then uh so after charlie knocks the racket sticks down it pans over to to fulton and gee so fulton's in the shop you know um so he's in the shop and he's helping gee out there's a this so this i still don't understand there's an was it an ice sculpture or was that

like a plastic thing to look like ice yeah that's what it was so uh he was grabbing the stick for charlie and gee was over gee and jesse were over talking with bambay bombay and it was oh that's right he was grabbing it for charlie my bad it was a it was a plastic display that looked like uh maybe the the stick was kind of like hooked in there to like present it to the public and it was stuck and so since Fulton had a little bit more leverage, he was able to pull. Why are we pulling that out from there? I don't know.

Maybe it was the only one. Well, I mean, it might be after he knocked the whole fucking displayed the stick down. That's what I'm saying. This is the last one that wasn't lost, you know. Okay. Okay. I got it now. But yeah, so Fulton's doing that for Charlie and then it pans over to jesse gee and bombay and bombay's asking about fulton and i love these elementary school rumors this

shit is great it's cool because right like it's like total elementary school rumors yeah so they're like uh so bombay is like who's who's that kid they're like oh that's fulton reed you know he's uh he only plays football he only plays football because there's a bunch of prep schools that have given him scholarships but in order to get the scholarship when it's time to go to prep school he can't play hockey because they don't want him to get hurt and then i think jesse says that and then or gee says that and then jesse comes in and jesse's like no i heard it was colleges yeah that gave him scholarships and then someone else i forget who it is it's like yeah, I heard he has to

repeat the sixth grade. I think that's Peter. I think Peter says that. Peter's such a dick. He's going to definitely get beat up when he gets older because he can't keep his mouth shut. Bombay's interested in Fulton. Fulton's a big

kid. That's why he stands out. And he's always around. Yeah, he's always around kid. That's why he... He's always around. Yeah, he's always around, lurking in the background. He's huge. He's gigantic compared to the other kids, which is why he has the rumors of him getting college scholarships for football already. So Bombay's interested in that. He's like,

we could use that on our team. We could use a big Hulken presence. So he's intrigued by that. So we're getting a little you know maybe we can get fulton on the team maybe we can maybe we can do that yeah so then after that that's that's when we it pans to the register and hans is making out like a fucking band-aid yeah and then it cuts that's when it cuts to tammy and tommy right not yet we've before real quick before that peter sees the picture when they're all up at the register and he's like bombay was a hawk yeah just you know that that comes up a little bit

later but then you are right then it comes up and they are all as a team walking into the arena together they're going to the locker room because now they got they actually have equipment so they're all going to the locker room they're gonna get getting ready for practice yeah and that's what they get out at the ice yep and that's when they see what i what i assume is like a free skate time yep yep open skate open skate time and so the there's there's these two kids that are in at center ice just fucking crushing like an ice dance routine yeah tommy and tammy which what kind of psycho parents do those kids have tommy and routine yeah tommy and tammy which what kind of psycho parents do those kids have tommy and tammy tommy and tammy yikes dude yeah um but so they're like

uh i forget who uh oh bombay they're walking up and bombay asks because he sees the crazy ice dancing he's like oh who are these kids and i I love Terry. Terry pops in because Terry is like, oh, that's Tommy. Tommy, he's in one of my classes. And that's his sister, Tammy. And he gets way too excited. Yeah, he gets like excited eyebrows lifting up and down like, and that's Tammy. Terry has a little thing for Tammy. Yeah.

We got Tommy, Terry, Tammy. That's a lot. That's too many T's, you know. Yeah, we're getting T'd up over here. He's not the true Terry, you know. Yeah. There's only one Terry in our hearts. Yep.

The tried and true Terry. Yeah. But this is where we're kind of coming towards the the end of our our clip here brandon yes we're coming up to the 42nd minute mark which is right right about when so so so they see so he uh terry we're recruiting yeah so terry tells bombay that's tommy and tammy and then uh bombay is like okay we need them. And then Bombay is like, okay, we need them. He tells the kids, he's like, go get your gear on. Go get ready for practice.

I'll do the negotiating. Meaning he's going to go try to – he's going to try to woo Tammy and Tommy onto the team. And that's kind of where the 42nd minute ends. But so we're recruiting new members. We're trying to buff up the roster here, just like with the checkmates. Yeah. We get a little more backstory on them uh than we do the checkmates yeah we we we got some we got some great background you know bombay is going to get him if he can get 15k

from the law firm for the this district five uh uniforms and we know he's going to be able to snag tammy and tommy no issues but yeah we're building out the roster and we're seeing this this district five team very quickly assemble much like our boys the avengers and they're gearing up to to win some hockey and i'm sorry not just boys there are boys and girls just boys. There are boys and girls in the Avengers. There are boys and girls in the hockey team. We're inclusive here at the podcast. Yes. But yeah, we're adding

some more firepower, especially if we can get Fulton. Yeah, Fulton's the hinge. If we can get Fulton, then we could really be rocking and we could maybe actually win a fucking game. Who knows, Heath? Who knows?

Yeah. We are. So Connie mentions at the very first practice that Bombay goes to, they're 0-9, right? Yeah. And so then we had the Hawks game, 0-10. Then we had the Jets game, 0-11. Yeah. So we're 0- 11 right now and oh and 11 we gotta start getting some wins soon yes because so i agree with gordon bombay's

198 fucking goals i don't know how long the season is i'm assuming they remember the only 20 20 games maybe yeah but they go into it where because of the other teams dropping out, there's only like 12 teams or something and a few drop out. And then to get to the eighth seed, to get into the tournament or something, they just had to jump like a couple. I don't remember how it is. We'll get into that when we get to that episode for sure. But we're 0-11.

We need some serious wins. I'm assuming there's probably 20 games, right? I would assume 20. Yes. Yes. For sure. But we're, we're on 11. Yeah. We need some serious wins. I'm assuming there's probably 20 games, right? I would assume 20. That's probably their assumption. So we got it. Yeah. Best case scenario.

We're nine and 11. Yeah. We can't even get to 500 at this point. No, but you know, with it's fucking Peewee. So I, you know,

maybe, and, and I, this, we get to this later on in the episode where we're hans we figure out the teams are dropping out we get some more information on the playoff seating yeah whereas in game changers it was two two teams per league yeah um so if that's the scenario here, we're in rough shape. I don't think it is.

It's definitely not how it is, though, because I think more teams get in in this one than the game changers. I feel like they've updated the formatting. I think that's safe to say. It's been about 20 years. Yes. There's probably a lot more teams now than there was back in back in 92. And we're more inclusive, so

we're going to get more teams to state. There's probably more selected back then. No participation trophies. Brandon, there's less struggle. No, there's less. There's less teams in the playoffs and game changers because it's only two per league. Well,

I don't think they had all those teams like it the way it seemed like it, I don't know. We'll get into the scheduling of that in that one. We're getting ahead of ourselves. I'm just saying, Oh, we're all on 11 right now. Heath, we've got some work to do. We've got some work to do. And this is where our Minnesota miracle man starts working his magic.

That's what we're gearing up for. These practices that are coming up and they're coming in hot, this is where we see, we visualize their improvement. We see them practicing. We see them getting better. It's a very believable jump. Yeah, that was, yeah, a little

game changer is there wasn't much visualizing there. But you know why the Minnesota Miracle Man is kicking in, right? You know why this turnaround has happened. Mom time. Mom time. He got in with Charlie's mom. He's feeling the confidence.

That's how he knows. Yeah. Now it's go time. The Minnesota Miracle Man is back in the saddle, baby. Do you think you would describe Charlie's mom as having an intelligent body Like he did the court reporter? I don't know

I don't know if I want to answer that one It feels like a slippery slope, Brandon I'm not going to set you up for that Emilio, if you're listening If you could give us an answer to that question, that'd be great. Send us an email. At thecakeyouterspod at gmail.com. We would love to know if

Charlie's mom has an intelligent body. That fucking lot, dude. The whole court reporter thing from the beginning of the movie was fucking wild. That's honestly the first time I ever paid attention to that conversation and ever like actually listened to it as a kid you don't pay attention until the kids come like i didn't like i was like okay i just have to get through this part yeah and even like even like watching it later on in life

it was just like like this like the lawyer scenes don't matter you know that's it i was like you know like we're just trying to get through this you know they're they're probably not saying anything of note here you know she's just talking to the secretary but then this time with the subtitles on and me like paying attention to every little detail i was like bombay you dude you slime son of a gun. Outlast the fast fashion trends. They also plant a tree in Boulder, Colorado for every product sold. Visit BrokenForestCo.com and use the code CakeEaters15 for 15% off your order. Well, that's all she wrote for this episode, folks. And so once again, we want to keep you guys updated on our time markers. So this episode

ended at the 42 minute mark. Next week for part three, we're going to jump in from minutes 42 to 60. This episode, we're going to be finishing out, filling out that roster. They're still recruiting. They're still building out that team. We've got Tammy and Tommy. We've got our boy Fulton coming into the building. And you know what, Brandon? We might even grab a few bar down skis along the way. Yep. And tons and tons of drama ahead because we saw Peter get a sneak peek at Bombay being a hawk in Hans' sport shop. The fucking the castle looking thing yeah

uh so drama ahead because bombay bombay's not a duck he's a hawk you gotta watch out for those hawks nothing nothing but trouble look out folks here comes the drama and you know what it's no surprise that peter is the one starting the drama. Peter's the fucking worst, dude. Real instigator. I just never realized. You know what he is? He's a real rabble rouser. Oh, Pete Meister, the rabble rouser.

I just, I love that description by Averman. It's very intelligent for a young kid. That's very intelligent. And then the the velvet hammer nickname is so cool like such a cool nickname that's it i feel like that's a professional connie the velvet hammer moreau or moreau right i think that's what it is uh great wrestling man oh yeah she could have definitely gotten to the top of the women's championship right away.

And I feel like her finishing move would almost be like the people's elbow. That's where she would have to do something where she would drop the velvet hammer. Or you could do like Jimmy Snuka, the flying elbow. Yeah. Well, I think Snuka did like a splash oh that's right that's right macho man did the elbow macho man had the elbow didn't sean michaels i think had a flying elbow to you from the top rope he he would do it but his finisher is the sweet chin music with the the kick is so so macho man's the the flying elbow right okay i don't know why i don't know

why i was thinking jimmy snookicker. But that would be pretty sweet. And you could picture good old J.R. calling that. My God, the velvet hammer up at the top rope. She drops it on her. My God, she broke her in half. Broke her in half. Bleeding like a

step pig. J.R.''s got the best fucking just nonsense calls bleeding like a stuck pig bowling shoe ugly i feel like we've we've talked about this in episode right i feel like i did this we're gonna talk about how great they are oh that's just bowling shoe ugly is the best one though i love that connie the velvet hammer it's dude she could make it she could make it a long way even if she was like the enforcer on like team usa women's hockey going for gold like everyone needs to watch out for our backline defenseman connie the velvet hammer yeah so good or even like even like uh if you're thinking modern day right now, post-playing career, right? That's a solid Instagram handle, Twitter handle, the Velvet Hammer.

Oh, yeah. And like, maybe now she's like an insurance agent. She's a state senator. Oh, that's right. Well, it'd be more funny if she was like... No, that's even better. Dude, imagine your your state your you know your state senate race right you're living in minneapolis state senate race is going

and on the tv comes a political ad for connie moreau and the tagline is the velvet hammer that actually and then she was like like homelessness hammered well that might be a little too i'm gonna be too corny for for a state senator ad you're thinking like car dealership ads are like like local law for local like injury law firms exactly homelessness hammered infrastructure hammered vote for your velvet hammer why is that your hand motion that you're doing what are you doing the hang ten the hang loose i i don't know i my my brain is crossing genres that's jimmy snicker right there is the i i have a real knack and creative genius for marketing so

if there are any companies out there that would like to use me for a very velvet hammer-esque type of commercial that i just threw down uh you gotta with the email the podcast we gotta get uh marguerite on the on the show the the actress that plays connie we gotta get her on the show. The actress that plays Connie. We got to get her on the show and then pitch her the Velvet Hammers. Like a spinoff. Yeah. A spinoff show with Connie and the Velvet Hammers. Or even if we can get her to change her Instagram handle to the Velvet Hammer, that'd be fantastic.

It's still a win. Either way. Anyways, we got a little off topic, but once again, thank you all for joining the show here today. We look forward to part three. To part three. We're going to spin these lovely words into your ears for another hour plus.

And we're going to do the one thing that we do best. We're going to talk some mother loving ducks. Yes. Make sure you follow along. Hit subscribe. Give us a review as well that always helps uh follow the instagram so you can keep up to date with everything we got going on Thanks for listening, everyone. Please remember to follow and like us on Instagram at TheCakeEatersPod, on Twitter at TheCakeEatersPod, on Twitter, at TheCakeEaters. Also reach out to us via email, TheCakeEatersPod at gmail.com

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