The Cake Eaters - 142. Witness

Episode Date: August 11, 2026

Heath and Brandon deal with a very hostile Witness in the 1985 crime thriller. The boys discuss the portrayal of Amish people in media, Ticketmaster being the worst, and Harrison Ford's kissing ab...ilities.Follow us on Instagram @thecakeeaterspodEmail us at thecakeeaterspod@gmail.com

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Starting point is 00:01:18 and I'm into discipline. Got a Bible and a hand and a beard on my chin, but if I finish all my chores and you finish thine, then tonight we're going to party like at 1699. We've been spared most our lives, living in an Amish paradise. I tremble to once or twice, living in an Amish paradise.
Starting point is 00:01:44 It's hard to work and sacrifice. living in an Amish paradise we sell quilts at discount price living in an Amish paradise nailed it couldn't have been better yeah this is the kick you just podcast everybody that's heath on brandon we are tackling probably your most requested movie heath you've been clamoring for us to do this from the get go ever heard of this movie and the it took all of my willpower to make it through and then there there was no one attacked the phone at the end and then just the amount of ads to try and like refine the spot at the end brain and i was so i was so mad there there's a good 45 minutes from
Starting point is 00:02:42 when he gets uh after the he takes the gunshot and he gets he drives the you know drives to the Amish area and then when they come to like find them there's a good 45 minutes where not a fucking thing happens it's just it's just him milking cows and then kelly mcgill is taking her tits out it's it's not a good use of time this movie i'm sure because i i think this is a very well let's go to the go to the tape here i think it's 7.3 yeah 7.3 i i i never heard it was like a bad movie but my god is it is it way too long i could see why people like it but it's just it's definitely just not for me no it's it's way to it just moves a bit it's way too it's way to prodding yes yeah it just and it's it's not like like yeah prodding is probably a great word i feel and i felt like nobody
Starting point is 00:03:48 I felt like there was there's so much like dead like dead air like nobody nobody had like full on conversations there was like one line and then they would just stare at each other for 10 seconds no at one point I thought the volume wasn't working it was like what is happening in this movie it just yeah it there was so many weird pauses the music made me feel anxious more than in the movie it was like like you know like the background i don't know it just did we did we say i don't think we said the title of the movie we're this is we're doing witness everybody 19 is 85 1985 witness yeah yeah sorry i didn't realize i couldn't remember if we actually said the title name of this movie or not sometimes we don't do that sometimes we just dive in and you got to get a let
Starting point is 00:04:42 the audience figured out yeah that happens sometimes but yeah it just it it it was it was is a wild movie you know little Amish boy witnesses a murder and Harrison Ford dude it just it ends with not spoiler alert but he just yells at the guy and the guy's like you're right thanks for yelling at me well he doesn't just yell at the guy you know who he yells at right yeah mr duckworth yeah quack mr duck'sworth classic thank you very much mr duck's worth classic mr ducksworth as soon as he showed as soon as he showed as soon as he showed up on my screen i was like this motherfucker's going to betray us classic ducksworth yeah yeah did you see uh so that's that that's one of the connections
Starting point is 00:05:29 did you see the other the other connection why we're doing this movie heath no sorry this sounded like barking on the baby monitor but jenkins is next to me i don't know what? Uh-oh. You got a ghost dog in there? Or did your baby start? Did your baby finally learn to bark? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:50 I hope not. Her, or maybe did the cat has been hiding in there. Like with the baby. And then all of a sudden, you'll hear the door handle jiggling and. Yeah. Got to get your house in order here. He's.
Starting point is 00:06:09 Yeah, dude, I guess. Ghost dogs. Frigin Josie barking. But, so we have Ducksworth. Ducksworth is the, was he the sergeant or the commissioner? I forget what his title was, but he was an office guy. I'm though. That's all the office office.
Starting point is 00:06:25 Office guy for the police. He was. He was higher. He was higher up. He was like the, he was the guy with all the access. I had to break this up into chunks into like when I stopped paying attention. It was like 30 minutes and then it was like, oh, we've kind of lost the plot here. started out pretty action-packed Donald Glover, right?
Starting point is 00:06:47 See, it starts off pretty, pretty intense and interesting. Well, not starts off, I guess, because the very, the first like five minutes is an Amish funeral. But did you, did you clock about that? Did you clock the second, the second connection we have with the with the ducks? We got ducksworth, obviously. Do you clock the second one? No. Really?
Starting point is 00:07:12 Maybe. The grandpa, the Amish grandpa is, that's young. What? I did not recognize Jan with that beard and that hat. Yeah, that's him. That's good old yawn, dude. He's just, he's so much younger and that beard and that hat and those glasses. Like, he was very good Amish.
Starting point is 00:07:37 He was a real, he was a real curmudgeon. Yeah, that's just. right isn't that how it kind of goes yeah yes but yeah so that that that's our um amish aren't allowed to have fun right isn't that part of it that's exactly right that's exactly right that's what i've heard um but those are the two those are our ducks connections we got yon playing the grandpa and ducksworth as the dirty the dirty cop yeah it's that's too bad it's too about that there were dark connections to this movie it's not it's that it's not the worst movie ever it's just yeah it just was not for me yeah it's not much now it's it was it was the cinema it was very
Starting point is 00:08:19 beautifully shot um cinematography was great but yeah it's just so slow and and prodding and like i said there's like there's like 45 minutes where nothing happens not a single fucking thing yeah Yeah, it just Anyways, it's it was it was fine. You know, that's it at the beginning, I thought that we might have had something on our hands, you know, like the The throat slitting scene at the beginning. I have in my notes, it's the worst kill scene. I think I've ever seen that was so bad.
Starting point is 00:08:57 That was, I thought it was hilarious. So I was like, oh boy, we might have something here like this is this is this is. real bad but it's action-packed and the little kid played the you know he did a good job for just you know meandering weirdly through this train station i think he handled himself well in the bathroom with a couple guys that were going to shoot him yeah he was that he he creeped me out a little bit though i was getting damien from from the omen vibes oh that's fantastic that's exactly what he was giving i is it the same kid No, it's not.
Starting point is 00:09:36 I looked. That kid would have done a fantastic job as Damien. The one thing that was not driving me crazy, but that was kept popping in my head is the blonde neighbor that's like trying to, you know, trying to sweet talk his way into Kelly McGillis is pants. He was giving me serious Randy Quaid from Kingpin vibes. I legitimately I legitimately thought it was Randy Quaid when I first saw him I was no way no way he's playing another Amish guy dude Randy that's a that's a great movie if you want to watch a movie with some Amish people in it go watch king pen that's a great movie
Starting point is 00:10:22 oh I love kingpin I watched that the other day I can't remember what I watched it on but it hit the spot It's Ernie McCracken. Bill Murray in that movie is, that might be my favorite Bill Murray role. When I grow my hair out obnoxiously long, just to be poor, it's exactly what it looks like. Yeah. Like, especially when I wake up in the morning and like I wear a hat and then like I'll do it on purpose and like run my fingers through it to like make it. It's it's insane. But it's the best way to describe my hair.
Starting point is 00:11:07 I'm right there with you. I, uh, when I worked at the, the movie theater, or not that one, I'm sorry, when I worked at the go car place,
Starting point is 00:11:17 um, you get in the go car to you drive around and, you know, the wind coming at you. It would push, it would push my hair up exactly like that. We just, just dry in the wind with the bill Murray.
Starting point is 00:11:29 hair i think we i think we talked about this one we did what about bob is that me and beer me and bill mary have the same hair line the exact same hair like yeah yeah i don't have the same hair but hair line well it's close but man that's that urn mccracken style of hair when i grow mine out way too long it's exactly what it does the way it's like wispy to you know it's fantastic but anyways that is the best with it um you know if we're talking about best best movies about the Amish of all time. Kingpin is easy number one, right? Is there even a number two?
Starting point is 00:12:06 I guess this one. I don't know. I can't think of any Amish movies at the top of my head. So yeah, Kingsman. Kingpin's got to be number one. Gotta be. Yeah. I also have in my notes,
Starting point is 00:12:21 Heath would fit right in with the Amish cult. You would, they would have got you hook line and sinker, dude. Okay, first of all, you're acting like living off the land, you know, no bills is a bad thing. I don't think you don't, I don't think you don't have any bills. Yeah, you go in and you sell your, your cheeses and your jams and in town, dude, I know, I know how it works. You know, I'm sure. And take your little buggies into town and then they throw rocks at you.
Starting point is 00:13:01 That fight scene was wild when he beats up the dude. Oh dude. Fucking Han-so- Amish Han Solo. Nothing like it. That's all I could think about. I was like, do you imagine if- Man-soulos was like space Amish? He might have been, you know?
Starting point is 00:13:19 Dude, I don't know. He doesn't he, is it him who uses the slur on wookies or someone calls him a a nerf herder? Is that the, I don't know. Anyways, keep going. oh wait no we wouldn't oh yeah i don't remember i don't remember when no photo gets thrown out but yeah i don't know it's uh it's um like there is that someone made a meme about it's like jeez you can't just call them sand people ben it's like obi and ovi
Starting point is 00:13:49 uh anyways so we're talking about this any is some oh here's some fore being on han solo being omish that's yeah harrison ford puts in a good a good uh good effort good performance he's just he sells out for it but this is it just it moves too slow if you're gonna have a weird slow plot you gotta have something like moving in the back you need or dialogue have people have have somebody talk it was like it's just it was just the what it would they call um um montages to nowhere you know with with with bad musical background stuff I don't know I just if you're not going to have dialogue yet least kind of have good music going on and it was just you know yeah
Starting point is 00:14:42 again it was it was too like prodding yeah but Harrison Ford sells out for this role in a big way oh I did I did love at the end when he's screaming at I'm like I'm not doing it all out there ducksworth has the shotgun and the rest of the all the homage people come to you know to the rescue or whatever and but ducks voice still has the gun and harrison ford is like what are you going to do shoot me and then he grabs he grasps grabbing people from the crowd what are you going to do shoot them and then he pulls them into the line of fire yeah that kid that kid's did no chance he's like i would shoot this kid i was
Starting point is 00:15:25 like i was like harrison i get i get what we're doing i get your point you're trying to make here maybe maybe not the best execution on this though you're pulling people in front of you're gonna shoot this lady who just flashed me yeah you and do that you crazy old man that the the the shower the shower scene to me was wild they they I had to I had to rewatch it a couple times not just because not just to see the tities but mainly because but mainly because it was you're admitting that on air it was the way it was the way you're hitting your old old man per face it was the way i i rewound it because it was the way it ended because they they like make eye contact they're like you know she there's they're flirting with
Starting point is 00:16:13 their eyes and it just ended so abruptly and weird and i was like oh did i did i miss something and it isn't until you know like two scenes later when he finally they finally have a one one of the two conversations they have in the entire movie. And he goes, he goes, we, we couldn't have fucked last night because if we did, I would have had to stay or you would have to leave. Yeah. And I was like, oh, I mean, I guess that kind of makes sense. That makes, it makes sense.
Starting point is 00:16:45 But the way they, the way they ended the shower scene was just so weird and abrupt. It threw me off until that explanation came 30 minutes later. They just needed to talk more. I needed more dialogue. It was too much silence. And it's, you know, Brandon, sometimes a thousand words can be said with a look. And I think that that's, it was, I feel like the director was trying to build tension through the slow music looks from a far. And it just didn't land well, right?
Starting point is 00:17:22 Because that's what it felt like to me. It felt like it was like forced tension. It, it works. it at in the beginning and at the end when there's actually stuff going on it works but like I said there's like 45 minutes in the middle where nothing happens and they're still they're still trying to you know they're playing the tension filled music they're trying to like make everything eerie and yeah it's you can't you can't do you can't do that for 45 minutes or however long it was it's just too long or like the the dialogue is so light
Starting point is 00:17:58 Also, their makeout scene when they, like, run up to each other. That was some terrible kissing. That was, that grossed me out a little bit, honestly. I feel like that's how his kiss with Leah is, too. Does he just, is Harrison Ford just not a good kisser? I'm actually going to Google that. Are we, is this breaking news? Harrison Ford, not a good kisser.
Starting point is 00:18:23 Dude, what do you think the AI is going to say? Because you can't just search stuff anymore. Um, I don't know. I would love that I would love to hear some first-hand accounts of Harrison Ford kisses. Oh my goodness. Brandon. Harrison Ford has faced criticism from a few of his co-stars over the years with some explicitly naming him as a bad on-screen kisser.
Starting point is 00:18:51 Dude. Fucking Harris. Helen Mirren, Allison Doody. That makes sense though. I mean, it doesn't make sense. It's duty. That makes That makes me happy to hear because Harrison Ford is such a, like, good looking person that he's got, you can't have it all.
Starting point is 00:19:15 You have to have, you have to have a couple flaws. And I'm glad that kissing is one of his. It makes me feel better. Yeah. Yeah. There's a Facebook thread about. someone feels i've always wondered about how when i've watched harrison ford movies if he's a bad kisser okay good so i'm not the only one because i that makeout that makeout scene grossed me out
Starting point is 00:19:46 dude it was just it was yeah i don't know it this this whole movie was fascinating some of it i did fall asleep for a second there's yeah again that that big stretch when nothing happens i dozed off to but there's a couple good a couple good like one-liners and stuff like after he gets shot i kind of checked out for a little bit when when he gets shot one of my favorite parts of the movie is when he's in that parking garage getting shot at the old couple in the elevator they like go to they like uh see it starts popping off so they go to take the elevator back up but then the old lady realizes that they're shooting at her car so she puts her she puts oh my god she blocks the elevator yeah i forgot she's like that's like that's like that's my car
Starting point is 00:20:37 you're shooting my car it's like dude what you're about you're about to catch a bullet here lady if you don't get on the elevator would have been hilarious if she had caught a stray yeah it would have been amazing oh also did you clock who else is in this movie i can't believe we got far with him without talking about this oh v v iirrigorn yeah i literally was like damn brandon's picking all these movies with ergorne as like the most side characters i don't even he didn't even talk at all did he i think he was just in the background at the end at the end he said he said a couple of things because i was like son of you know i just i wasn't sure if that was him that was yeah that's the little wizard boy for sure he he such a stupid
Starting point is 00:21:27 thing for you to say him and harrison ford were amazing in star wars loves it i'm trying to i was trying to see what else uh oh i also have i also have in my note uh a couple ha ha ha's this dude's name is fergy did you catch that the not not uh not danny glover but his he's like the the guy that was bobbing around with him how furgelicious death Yeah, his name was fucking Fergie. What a loser, dude. I don't know. Fergillicious.
Starting point is 00:22:06 Oh, the other, the other, the other, the other scene I loved is after, so it's after the kid witnesses the, the kill in the bathroom. And he's talking to. Sears a trophy case. No, before that, he's talking to, he's talking to Harrison Ford and Carter. Harrison Ford's like partner. Yeah. Harrison's Harrison Ford's like can you describe
Starting point is 00:22:30 the guy that you saw kill him and he like the kids like he's he's like that guy him but he goes he looks like him but he wasn't a runt because the Carter Carter was smaller so he's like he's like that guy but bigger not a not a tiny little you know weakling not a run and elfling I I think they wasted Danny in this though because again he only has like five lines I keep calling them Donald Glover I had to I have to I legitimately have to think in my mind
Starting point is 00:23:05 before I say the name of which one it is but they wait I think they I think they wasted him because he only had like like five seat five he only says like five lines he does not talk very much he could have been a huge part as like he's such a good like they should have cut they could have cut at least half of the whole um being amish on the farm scenes and replaced it with you know what's what's going on in the cop station like how are you know i was more interested in like how are the how they're covering that up you know that would have been that would have that would have been way more interesting than fucking watching harrison for milk cows for 45 minutes they people were jazzed on harrison
Starting point is 00:23:51 ford's performance he got a lot of he gives a great performance um It's just so it's just so slow. Who directed this again? Peter Weir, that's right. Classic Peter. He's a real good director though. One of the best crime movies ever. That's a bold face, fucking lie.
Starting point is 00:24:23 That is a bold face fucking lie. Not as good as I remembered it. Yeah, that makes sense. That's probably that one got a three out of ten. That's probably. remarkably intelligent movie as good as filmmaking gets okay people people are jazz that's it
Starting point is 00:24:48 but it's like you said like I said like I can see why this is a good movie I can see why people like it just moved a little slow for me and you know I got a lot going on right now when you're I got stuff to do you know full contact baby holding while you're watching the movie it's just like come on let's that was such an amazing thank you for that that made me last i'm sure i'm sure it's a good movie i just i got a lot going on right now
Starting point is 00:25:24 you know that was amazing two hours is a long time brandon you know i did he was i feel you though i i'm excited And the ads on freaking Pluto, dude. Yeah. The ads on Pluto were out of control. It is too many. That's why too. This is right to be to be with with the,
Starting point is 00:25:52 the movie we're doing next. Ronnie and Julie. To be was just as bad with the with the ads dude. I remember maybe it's just saved by the bell they give you. Dude, I've been. I'm in the college years finally and saved by the bell. Fantastic. I've been power in my.
Starting point is 00:26:08 way through king of queens lately yeah that's hilarious you're one dude you're you're saying i'm the kevin love guy or kevin love i i am i'm a big big kevin love fan i do love me some kevin love me too him he should have never went to the cabs with lebron he was just then he wouldn't have a he's got that's how he got his ring
Starting point is 00:26:29 i know but well brown's a terrible leader and a terrible teammate and i feel like kevin love could have gone to put like he could have gone to Houston. I wanted him to go to the Rockets instead of Dwight. He would a, he would have been terrible in Houston. Yeah, right. He would have been terrible.
Starting point is 00:26:51 Yeah, everybody's terrible in Houston. Even Hardin's terrible in Houston. You don't get it, brand, man. You don't know shit about basketball. I don't do. All right. But anyways, yeah, I mean, you know, Amish kid, witnesses. I did like the like that bathroom scene in the station that was all good I enjoyed all that
Starting point is 00:27:16 when that's probably my favorite part of the movie when shooting the murder in the men's room scene the director of here we were claimed it was the most violent scene he'd ever filmed even today he still thinks it was a perhaps too violent but he wanted to invoke outrage at the severity maybe this is just looking at this with um you know modern eyes of just being exposed to all sorts of violence but i did not i did not think that scene was overtly violent same i mean it's a it's a it was a throat slit so that's always kind of jarring to see but it was such a poorly executed i was just going to say the same thing it's like well maybe like maybe if it was like more realistic yeah maybe if they yeah instead of uh danny gulliver god bless him fumbling around
Starting point is 00:28:04 yeah i mean like it looked like a toy knife fake blooding it it looks it looked like they probably did like 50 takes of that and couldn't get it right and they were just like you know what let's just move on fucking people won't notice yeah i yeah i did not care for this movie uh it was uh it was a slog to get through um Harrison Ford was pretty solid, but he, he, no, he wasn't good enough to save this film. The titties weren't even enough to save this film. Brandon, damn it. So I know we don't have nice things.
Starting point is 00:28:52 It is a funny reminder about 80s movies and how there's always just random boobs popping up. And we, we're burying, we're burying the lead with, with, with these boobs. These this is Kelly Kelly is it McGillis right? Yes, McGillis. Kelly McGillis is boobs. This is Top Gun boobs, Heath. This was after Top Gun too, right?
Starting point is 00:29:20 A fun trivia is that she went and lived with an Amish widow and her seven children for a while before filming. I saw that speech cadence down. That's another reason I think this movie gets, or this was, I took that this was right before Top Gun my apologies but you're right that she's spent this movie gets heaps and heaps of phrases for how how accurate they got the Amish part yeah I mean they they did at least now granted I've I'm not like a you know regular visitor of Amish country but what are you very convincing to me are you saying you're not an Amish expert? No.
Starting point is 00:30:08 Why are you on the podcast? Why are we doing this? You told you specifically told me you were an Amish expert. You wouldn't get that brand-ness. There's a, when I was living in Fort Collins, there was an Amish furniture store. Oh, nice. On the way. Was that that on the way to work?
Starting point is 00:30:33 It's on Mulberry, I believe. I believe that's the street. it's on Mulberry. I feel like there was a, I don't know, maybe not. Because where's, where's how much country in the U.S.? Michigan, right? No, it's Pennsylvania.
Starting point is 00:30:48 Like Western PA, I believe, is usually Central and Western PA, I believe. Because that's where this takes place. They're in Pennsylvania. And then they take the train to Philadelphia. That's where they, That's where the kid witnesses the murder is good old Philly.
Starting point is 00:31:09 You know, there's going to be a, there's going to be a murder. It's going to be in Philadelphia. I can tell you that. Yeah, exactly. But, um, exactly. Yeah, Pennsylvania, Ohio and Indiana. Yeah. You know what I was thinking, uh, watching this movie as well is we need more
Starting point is 00:31:27 Sylvania's in the world. There's not enough Sylvainas. You got Transylvania, Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania. We need more. It's such a. It's a sick, it's a sick name, sick city name, you know? Yeah, you're not long.
Starting point is 00:31:44 Wow, thanks for, you know, thanks for the back and forth. The repartee there, Heath. I don't know. And, you know, really, really, really yes and did me over there. It looks really good in cursive. It does. And it sounds cool, too. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:04 If you're going to write, Pennsylvania and cursive, it's going to look pretty cool. Hey, y'all. It's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder what if? Like, what if doesn't hold up? That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what if. Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit Wayfair.com. Wayfair, every style, every home. I don't know what you want from you, Brandon. This movie just didn't have anything. I'm sorry, guys. This movie was, we had to, we had to do it at some point because it's, it's doubled.
Starting point is 00:32:43 double ducks he's we had double ducks we had to do it and like he had to do he because like he gets shot and then he goes to the community and then he tries to win him over right and they do the whole they raise the barn thing yeah this that this is the when he's trying to win him over about yeah that's when everyone's like starts gossiping because they're like oh he's winning us over but he's also given looks she's showed him her bosom bosom. Isn't it bosom? It is.
Starting point is 00:33:17 I was being dumb. Just, Schmidt- All right. Yon was a real commigion. He did not approve of that, that budding relationship. He was trying to shut it down real quick.
Starting point is 00:33:30 Yeah. He kept saying, he kept saying he needs to go back where he belongs. Yeah. Just a real hater. Yeah. Not zero open mind. Classic Yon.
Starting point is 00:33:43 classic young you got anything you had anything else in your notes you got any um no i mean you know the confrontation between the people got wild when harrison
Starting point is 00:34:00 for the movie went off with a sputter i feel like because he just yelled at him and then he's like shit you know what you're right man I'm gonna put this gun down
Starting point is 00:34:13 and then i'm gonna hand it to you and i'm gonna hand you my other gun and time we're gonna walk walk away. Yeah. And Harrison Ford gives them the old farewell. It was it did end very weirdly because there's a point. Um, everyone, everything is like the end where he's like, you be careful out there among them English. That's what he said to Harris and Ford. They kept calling everybody English. Yeah. And then he and then he goes the neighbor goes up to Harrison Ford. This cracked me up to went up to Harrison Ford and he calls him
Starting point is 00:34:47 an English Yankee or something like that and Harrison Ford's like that doesn't make any sense you dumb dumb yeah it was anyways it was like I said Harrison Ford crushed it out of this world I thought everybody's acting I think I thought was real solid
Starting point is 00:35:07 everybody was giving it 100% very good performances it was just so slow like I said Academy Award for best original screenplay that's best film editing that's insane okay editing I can see maybe but one BAFTA award for best music so maybe I don't know
Starting point is 00:35:25 anything about music I didn't think of music is very good everything everything you're saying right now is making us look like a bunch of dumb dumbsies sorry I mean we've never I mean that one listener pointed it out we're not good
Starting point is 00:35:41 at what we do right that's not quite what he said for a pop culture podcast you don't know anything about pop culture he said you he specifically doesn't know anything about pop culture i'm a i'm a wealth of knowledge i don't believe that brand then i feel like that i don't know i think the the i would disagree they the ai just thinks i'm a hater it doesn't think you're a hater it knows you're a AI doesn't think he's it knows it's honestly it pulls incorrect information all the time like it's I don't think I don't think I'm why we're wasting all that water I don't I don't think I've ever used
Starting point is 00:36:29 AI and it gave me what I was looking for it's it's it's always there's always a little little at least something wrong at least a little bit wrong yeah the problem is is that they're putting it into machines and then you know that's gonna it's gonna very much irobot us here in the future speaking i mean this is you're giving me a good opportunity to get something off my chest here i had the worst the worst experience with ticket master this week i was trying to go to a i was trying to go to a concert on friday with hawkman and um take it max i i use a vpn um at my house on my my home Wi-Fi. On the dark web.
Starting point is 00:37:13 You got to be safe. You don't know hackers, dude. But you're on the dark web. Because I use the VPN, Ticketmaster thinks I'm like a, you know, a ticket stealing bot. And it won't, it legitimately, I, I, if something is on, if the tickets for something are on Ticketmaster, I can't go because it's just never, it, like, will not let me, but I've tried, I tried, I tried turning the VPN off.
Starting point is 00:37:38 I tried using a different Wi-Fi. I tried to use, I used two different computer. I tried using my phone. I tried using my tablet. I tried going through the app. I tried everything. And it wouldn't even let me click add to card. It was crazy.
Starting point is 00:37:54 And so I just want to say if you, if anybody, for everybody that has ever worked at Ticketmaster, I hope you have a terrible life. I was going to go a step farther, but I real, I, I reeled it back here. thank you for doing that brandon i mean i was i was i was gonna i was gonna i was gonna i was gonna i was gonna wish death upon them but i reeled it back i didn't do that i just said i hope you have a terrible life there's they're not a pot it's not a popular company you know it's the it's the worst company i would take i would take lockheed martin over over ticket master did ticket master is the worst company in the fucking world it seems crazy but um but um but
Starting point is 00:38:40 yeah you know well they took they took such a simple concept of like buying admission into a place and they turned it into the devil's network it's it's fucking it's garbage it's a garbage company yeah and on that witness you know witness the downfall of ticket master what's your cake you're ready we can we'll wrap this up um my cake oh oh oh do you have one on the top of your head I forgot about oh I wasn't I was too busy I was too busy wishing death I want to get a master to think about it 2.22 are you going 2.2 point 2. That's that's higher than I was anticipating for me 2.22 yeah let me get my let me get my record keeping out here
Starting point is 00:39:31 that's you know it was maybe maybe I should go lower because I didn't like it and it took me three different go-ahead rounds to finish it. So that speaks volumes, right? So maybe I should go 1.22. 1-22, okay. Yeah, that feels more fitting. Okay.
Starting point is 00:39:59 So I'm going to go 1.5. I'm going to give it a 1.5. It was better than, like, we did Protector last episode. Um, it was better than that. I gave that, I gave protector a one, one. I'll give this a one five because it was better than the. I didn't even remember protector. We did it a while.
Starting point is 00:40:18 We recorded that episode a long time ago. That was the, uh, Marguerite Moreau, Connie and in the desert. That one. Oh, my God. I forgot. Yeah, that movie I pushed out of my brain. That was a rough one too. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:35 But yeah, I'll go, I'll go one five. I'll give it um I'll give it a 1.1 or 1.2 for the actual movie and then a 0.3 uptick for the boob scene to the sheriff's scene. It did. It did. Oh my god you're just here the worst you know. It's top gun boobs man. Gunbooth.
Starting point is 00:41:06 I don't know what to do with you, Brandon. That's just, you know, something else. Me, over, overall, it was, it's a fine movie. Would you say it won't best original screenplay? That's wild. Yeah. That must have been a slow year. What were the nominees?
Starting point is 00:41:28 I don't know. I clicked out of it. What is this? So this would have been 86 best screenplay? 85. 85. It's interesting that it's not based on a book and it still got the green light. You know, someone was just like, hey, listen.
Starting point is 00:41:45 Well, it is, it is, it is mid-80s. They're just, they're making anything and everything during this time. We've established that. And Harrison Ford's got some juice. You said, that's the original screenplay? Yeah. I thought that's what it said. you know
Starting point is 00:42:09 it's um Amish Harrison Ford what a journey well he's not Amish he's not he's a he's a full-bred Philadelphia he's not Amish no but he plays an Amish guy and I like that
Starting point is 00:42:28 no he's not an Amish Harrison Ford he doesn't play an Amish guy the whole point of the movie he pretends to be Amish while he's the whole point of the movie he's blending in I like when I like when he dresses up as an Amish Harrison Ford. Oh, when she gets he dresses up.
Starting point is 00:42:48 When she gives him, when she gives him his, uh, her, uh, her dead husband's old clothes, right. Yes. Jeez, Brandon. But he's not Amish, though. You keep, you keep calling him Amish. He's not Amish. No, but he's a, he's a Philadelphia. It's like, it's like.
Starting point is 00:43:12 you don't get a brand in the mind it's like the many versions of Harrison Ford this movie there's an Amish one in Star Wars there's a space Harrison Ford and you know this is Amish Harrison
Starting point is 00:43:31 Ford it's good stuff so it was okay so it was a nominee 1986 Best Picture nominee 1986 Best Actor and a Leading Role nominee 1986 Best Director nominee
Starting point is 00:43:50 Best Cinematography nominee 1986 Damn we've got a lot of Yeah so one best film editing Best writing Not best Not best original screenplay I got best writing
Starting point is 00:44:10 That's weird But that must have been a slow year 1986 must have been a real slow year you know i agree 1,000% because if this thing's up there is like the best of the best but also maybe you know we're still figuring out movies in 1985 maybe we regressed in the movie industry if you ever heard of out okay out africa no out of africa what was it didn't i mean cocaine had taken over hollywood so there's no telling what they were thinking thinking back to okay back to the future came out the same year rambo first blood part two
Starting point is 00:44:57 was also in the mix for these these Oscars they aren't pretentious enough to out out of africa won a bunch of shit though i've never seen that really never heard of it oh robert pop culture robert redford and maryl Streep okay but yeah you can't you can't you can't You can't tell me this, this, oh, the color, the color purple was this year too. There's way better movies and this witness should not have won anything. Someone got paid off, but anyways, all right. Kiss of the Spider woman, William Hurd.
Starting point is 00:45:35 Let's wrap this witness at Brandon. Can I get a witness? Oh, he's. Brandon Brandon. Yeah, you don't anymore law and order jargon. to throw out there any quips any law and order or orders lines you got there should we treat the witness as hostile yes i plead i'm not out of order you're out of order i always wanted to say that in a you know sometimes i think of about getting in trouble just so i can go just so i can
Starting point is 00:46:20 have my day in court and just really let it loose you know it would go it would go so poorly oh absolutely but it would be fun yeah i just start screaming since people you wouldn't do well in prison though brayman i think you ought to remember i'm not talking like i don't i'm not talking like a like a heavy a heavy crime you know you're going to jail for at least a week and you would do poorly yeah i think i could survive jail prison no prison no prison no chance i could survive jail though no yeah no no i'd be i'd be running run in the jail dude

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