The Cake Eaters - 15. D1: The Mighty Ducks - Part 3

Episode Date: September 28, 2021

Heath & Brandon dive into the original Mighty Ducks movie! Today’s episode goes over minutes 42-60. They discuss Goldberg becoming a man, Bombay the tickle monster, great American skylines, how everyone is trying to steal Guy's thunder, good old fashion gerrymandering, and then breakdown the league standings and playoff picture. Follow us at www.thecakeaterspod.com and on Twitter (@thecakeeaters) and Instagram (@thecakeeaterspod) Email us at [e-mail]

It's not worth winning if you can't win! Welcome back everybody to the Cake Eaters podcast, your definitive Mighty Ducks podcast. My name is Brandon. I've got my co-host Heath with me. And today we're doing part three of our D1, the original Mighty Ducks film breakdown. The last two episodes were part one and two where we covered part one was minutes zero through 19. Part two was minutes 19 through 42. And then today's episode part three is minutes 42 through 19. Part 2 was minutes 19 through 42. And then today's episode, part 3, is minutes 42 through 60.

Only 18 minutes for this one. It's a little shorter, but these 18 minutes jam-fucking-packed, Keith. And as we left off with part 2, they were looking over at Tammy and Tommy, who were skating circles around everybody at the Minnesota Public Rink there.

And Bombay is trying to add some new members, trying to get some more firepower for the ducks here. Absolutely. Brandon Bombay understands filling out the bench, getting those line rotations in. They got to be crisp. They got to be solid and who better to bring in than some figure skating fools, Tammy and Tommy.

The only difference is the A and the O. That's kind of a funny naming scheme, right? I mean, yeah, it's dumb. Why would you do that? It's questionable. That's for next week's parenting corner. Questionable baby naming. Yeah, it'd be like naming, like if you had a son and a daughter,

like Daniel and Danielle. What are we doing here? Heath and Heather. naming like if you had uh a son and a daughter like daniel and danielle what are we doing here heath and heather i actually tried to convince my friends to name their twins heath and heather i put in a lot of effort but they they ended up uh not going in that direction yeah yeah try to get somebody to name their kid f you i feel never works out the the method i like the method i like to go for those i like to try to get the middle name. Nobody's going to name

their kid's first name after me. Maybe not you, but I feel like I'm that kind of special. You're definitely not. My mom said I was. I mean, she did name her kid after you. That's very true.

Anyways, so we open up this one, and we have Bombay giving a gentle and friendly tug of Tammy's practice jersey over her pads and hair. She's a figure skater. She's never put on hockey pads before. Exactly. Probably a little tricky were you curious where Bombay pulled these uh this hockey equipment out of or was it just like laying around did they have some spares in the locker rooms I was I was curious where they got Tammy and Tommy's equipment so fast I'm sure they bought extras when they when they when they you know that's a backups on that spending spree yeah when they spent 18 million dollars at han's sports shop you know yeah see supporting small business brandon but yeah i'm sure you know you you always gotta you gotta buy a couple extras because you know

what if these are kids they're gonna they're gonna rip a jersey you know that's bound to happen gotta have some spares true good point good point i i should have thought of that but so anyways we got tommy skating over to tammy and bombay after bombay's introducing her uh to himself and then i love this bombay hey tommy looking good looking tough give me a five show me your live real coach talk right there man i was loving that well that was a real 90s coach talk that was right after he's talking to tammy and gives her probably some of the best advice i've ever heard in my life because tammy's real worried about playing hockey she said i've never played hockey before and bombay hits her

with well it's just like figure skating but with a stick and what a beautiful life he's exactly right that i yeah he i was honestly surprised he didn't tell her to wear thick socks. That's where he should have went with it. And Tommy, of course, is like super stoked. And I love Bombay skates away. And Tammy just like instantly goes like death stare. Like mom isn't going to like this. Oh, yeah.

She's not psyched. Tammy is not psyched at all to play hockey. Yeah. Not what she had in mind. Yeah. And somehow Tommy's like, hey, listen, if I can figure skate, all to play hockey yeah just not not what she had in mind yeah and somehow tommy's like hey listen if i can figure skate you can play hockey let's do this and then tammy just throws a nice little elbow check knocks tommy to the floor when she's like what do i even know

about hockey yeah but knock them out yeah more than you. I thought that was a great interaction. For Pete and Pete. Yeah. Many adventures of Pete and Pete for all those 90s Nickelodeon fans out there. You know what we're talking about. I was hoping. Armpit guy? Yeah. I was hoping.

I mean, because in the first movie, you don't get a ton of outside of these, like this little two minute interaction. You don't get a ton of Tammy and Tommy. little two-minute interaction, you don't get a ton of Tammy and Tommy. No, this is it. It's pretty much it. They're just there for numbers, like the checkmates. We need to fill out that bench, and we got it. We got to get a nice

deep bench, because we got to have that for the next one. They're gunning for us. I was hoping Tommy would be in the second movie, though. Spoiler alert, he is not. Because he's Pete and Pete, you know? I figured they would have... Although, was Pete and Pete out at this time, or was that a little bit later?

No, I think it might have been out. So there's probably some scheduling conflicts going on there. I mean, if Pete and Pete's already out, I figured you'd try to rope him in for the second movie. That's some star power you got right there, you know? Yeah, I i mean who knows but you know what i do like right here is that we got bombay getting this team back to the basics and this is what we're doing some actual hockey drills actual hi and this is what makes this movie so believable i put this in my notes it's like okay this is why i don that Doug Scott. I don't know if I'd go as far as believable here.

Come on. This wasn't even like a quick montage. This is real improvement. It's an actual, you know, full-on montage of hockey drills, which is nice because we don't get that at all in Game Changers. Exactly. Which makes their rise to fame less believable. Questionable and somewhat confusing yes um granted i will say

this montage of hockey drills doesn't i mean it's not like they're it just doesn't make it 100 believable it's not like they're out there oh i don't know brandon we got them setting up some cone drills getting comfortable on their edges we've heard that before bombay he loves coaching up skating hitting those edges that's important yep hitting edge comfortable on your edges soft hands yeah and we got we got uh spaz way just charlie just completely takes out the cones on the cone drill when we're going down there's there's like do you remember that there's a few spazway moments there's like there's like four call outs during this like uh this practice montage which probably lasts like five minutes right yeah practice montage there's

like three or four times where conway does something and bombay specifically calls them out yeah yeah let me run you through the montage real quick and so we kick it off we've got the cones they're getting comfortable on their edges they're bobbing they're weaving carp is kind of getting off balance and then boom charlie face plants and slides through the cones and then we hear oh great job spaz way next we got some eggs coming up we got our soft hands baby oh you know it soft hands here we go and so we got uh we got gets up to help, but this dude's a bull in a china shop, right? And he's just stopping that egg with his stick. And it is just when he does it, he gets a little shrapnel in his eye.

And then that's where Bombay, hey, we're cradling it. We're cradling it, right? Accept the past. Don't stop it. You know, it reminds me of the egg drop contest at chicken days yeah you know very very and for the listeners out there chicken days is an amazing event in wayne america aka wayne nebraska um go check it out and you know go google that um but anyways uh so we're getting that and then we get averman up who averman kills

it man he's all right he's our comedic relief constantly i i love i love averman and then i also love how every time every time averman makes a joke connie freaks out on him yeah connie is not about the even shenanigansenanigans. The velvet hammer. The velvet hammer is always dropping it on him because it's like concentration, not strength. Like the Karate Kid. Wax on, wax off. And that lived on for so long after that movie. You still hear that.

Oh, yeah. That's pop culture lexicon for sure. Wax on, wax off. I wrote that down too. It's like Connie calls him a jerk for saying that. That seems a jerk for saying that. Yeah. Like that seems a little extreme. Connie,

like he's not a jerk for, for quoting karate kid. I don't think. She told him to shut up too, or something like that. Shut up. Averman. God,

you're such a jerk. Yeah. Between that. And then at the, in, uh, towards the beginning, when they're at the first practice on the,

the pond, she's decks him. Yeah. He's like doing his little play by way. It's just gets mine. Fucking elbows first practice on the, the pond. She decks him. Yeah. He's like doing his little play by way. It's just gets mine. Fucking elbows. They're right in the gut. Oh man.

That's great stuff. Connie, the velvet hammer. But, but Averman ends up sending it smoothly back to Bombay. And then, and then Charlie gets the next chance. Bombay sends it.

Oh, Hey, we got to send this over to Charlie. And Charlie, once again, hits that Spazway. It goes way too hard and just scatters him with some yolk. And guess who's the one that makes the Spazway remark? So I'll give you one guess. Karp?

No, Peter. Yeah, it's Peter and Kp that call him Spazway. Yeah, what a real piece of work. I don't think anybody else calls him Spazway, do they? I don't think so. I think it's mostly just those two. Yeah, because Peter fucking sucks. Peter does.

I want to know, I love the egg pass back and forth. Soft hands, concentration. What does Averman say? Con and forth, soft hands, concentration. What, what does this, what does it even say? Concentration, not strength, not strength. Yeah. Loved all that. My question is though, Heath, who is cleaning this, the ice who's cleaning the ice. There is so much egg yolk on that ice.

Well, because when we pan over carp just has a puddle of what like 20 20 plus shattered eggs like there's a actual puddle of egg yolk like that's a lot of eggs to get a puddle going well each each kid had at least their own cart yeah they almost have to get like uh like a squeegee type of thing to like push it do you think something like it's foul that's that'd be really gross because it might stink too i guess maybe not because the ice is cold but not not at first if you left it there for sure it would but um my question is do you could it could a zamboni handle that like could you just run it over with the zamboni then clean on the zamboni yeah i guess

i don't know enough about how zambonis work yeah um but maybe yeah i would i would assume you would have to at least try to squeegee it all into a corner or something you know yeah i don't know any zamboni uh drivers are listening, let us know. Yeah. Give us a shout and let us know what that Zamboni is all about. Oh, I didn't mean to rhyme. I really didn't mean to rhyme there, but whatever. That's fine.

We'll move on. Cats out of the bag. No take backs. Damn it. But then I love this too, because Goldberg, ever full of sarcasm, skates over and he's like uh yeah okay coach uh nice drill real cute but uh what are we gonna get some goalie action because i fucking suck yeah but at least he owns it like he understands he's like hey man i suck like are we gonna get make me better yeah and they do the goldberg becomes a man yeah yeah he gets uh he goes he goes and a circumcision did you just did you hear that

line no i didn't see it it wasn't in the it wasn't in the wasn't in the uh subtitles well he doesn't say circumcision but it says today you will become a man yeah so bombay straps bombay straps goldberg to the the net the great camera work when they pan out because you don't see it at first and then they pan out and you see it goldberg is strapped to the posts of the net he can't he can't he can move his legs a little bit but his upper body is fully strapped so he can't move and that's when you know you get some goldberg sass and but uh bombay yeah bombay lays the line down um yeah it's like a bat mitzvah or bar i always get i always get which ones for the girls and which ones for the guys i get it's a bar mitzvah okay bombay says that he says today you become a

man goldberg and then as bombay skating away goldberg says the line i think you have the ceremonies mixed up referencing aencing a circumcision. Oh, nice. I love that kind of sass from Goldberg. I've never been to a bar mitzvah, but I have been to a Jewish wedding, and those are very fun.

I had a blast. But this is not fun, though. That's why it's more like a circumcision, Heath. I don't know how many circumcisions you've been to, Heath. They're not fun. None. Not a single though. That's why it's more like a circumcision, Heath. I don't know how many circumcisions you've been to, Heath. They're not fun. None. Not a single one. That's what I'm saying. I've been to a wedding, but not one of those. But yeah, so Goldberg becomes

a man, they strap him to the net, and then they just start blasting shots at him. Yeah, and it's a cool sequence because Bombay is like... It's a great sequence. It's a great sequence. District 5, ready, and then they're like they have like guns yeah they have like gun gun noises in the background yeah and then and then goldberg's like and then they pan to goldberg he's like oh my god i'm gonna die like stop and then bobby's like aim

and then uh peter nice knowing you goldie what a he's such a such a little jerk um and then goldberg's like oh my god please please stop and a little jerk um and then goldberg's like oh my god please please stop and then bombay fire and then goldberg's screaming like a lunatic pucks are firing everywhere it sounds like a like a the shooting range of the okay corral you know like uh you got the erps on one side and the other cowboys on the other it's just it's a firing range out there brandon yeah and so this goes on for a couple minutes and goldberg starts off screaming uh screaming in fear and then about halfway through it switches over and he realizes hey this doesn't hurt why am i afraid of the puck this is fine

and then and then he goes into he goes into full beast mode for the rest of the time that they're shooting pucks at him. He starts screaming just nonsense. I absolutely loved everything that he was screaming. And he's like, I want to go home. And then he gets clocked in the head. And he was like, wait, this doesn't hurt. And he starts calling them wimps and yelling about being a crazed dog. I'm a crazed dog. Like, what? I'm a crazed dog. And then they're chanting his name.

But that's a great moment when they're chanting his name and he's like, I am Goldberg, the goalie! And starts growling and yelling and stuff. It's awesome. So fucking ridiculous. I love Goldberg.

You forget how endearing his character is because I always just remember the fact that he should have been playing Julie the Cat over him. It's just what sticks in my head. He's a great character. This training montage makes him a better goalie but he's still a terrible goalie. He's just less terrible.

But it was fun. And then right after that they jump right into crushing some phone drills and it's there because they're like uh-oh uh the the cone drills they're back you know we got them we got them going um and then bomb bay is kind of wrapping up the the practice like they're going to go get some food they're they're tired because they've been exhausted and then as they're leaving the ice we slowly pan over and we see goldberg still strapped to the goal yeah they left they left him there just leave it i mean he's like uh hey excuse me guys gotta untie me now like uh it's this isn't funny don't leave me hanging here and he starts like scooting himself uh across the ice still attached to the net

i'm assuming that they just did that on purpose to razz him a little bit uh kind of take the piss out of him as the brits would say yeah yeah i've been watching a lot of love island so um i've been having nightmares of british people screaming at me well that sounds terrifying yeah it's wild but it's it's still a great show i'm addicted to it it's called kelly's fault i walked in on her watching it one day and i and i kind of just like stood there like like dads do you know with your hands on your shoulders and then i just got sucked in hands on hands on your hips yeah hands on your hips sorry i'm a big dummy animal folks.

Anyway, sorry. Weird side tangent. I didn't, I didn't mean for that to happen, but anyways, so the next time, next thing we know, we got a cut scene. We go to a questionable skyline shot of Minneapolis is what I put because that skyline shot did not do it justice. You know, Brandon, we've seen between Atlanta and Seattle and Denver, like those skylines are a little bit nicer. Maybe I just, maybe we're spoiled. I mean, Seattle skyline is fantastic. Houston's is nice too.

Houston's is good. Chicago, New York, go without saying, those are great. Denver's not that great, though. Denver. If you're on Mount Falcon looking out on the Denver skyline, that's delightful. That's okay. Agreed to disagree, Brandon.

It's just not very big. Atlanta has three different downtowns. Trying to get that all into one skyline view is ridiculous. Atlanta's just okay anyways. Atlanta's the city of Atlanta

like structural and like infrastructure wise and like layout wise makes no fucking sense. No fucking sense. That's why it takes you three hours to go two miles. Yeah. And they always give you the excuse well it burned down and then they had to rebuild it it's like well yeah so you had you had two chances at this atlanta you had two chances and you fucked it up twice yeah that's that's even worse yeah wouldn't be bragging about that shit anyways okay sorry i

just i just i just thought That's my Atlanta rant. They just started a skyline. I was like, oh, well, that didn't really do Minneapolis because it's a cool city. I like the Twin Cities. It's a good city. Yeah, the shot they gave didn't do very justice. Didn't do much justice to the skyline. And it was early 90s.

Minnesota's gone, you know, Minneapolis slash St. Paul, much bigger metropolitan area, metropolis, much bigger metropolis now in 2021 than it was in 1991. Any skyline

is better than the Dallas skyline, though. The Dallas skyline... You don't like that one? With the little ball? I have no difference. I have no feelings towards the Dallas skyline. But the people who live in Dallas love the Dallas skyline.

And it's all they ever fucking talk about. And it's not that great of a skyline. Get over yourself. Well, Dallas is just a little pretentious. Everyone knows that. Yeah, Dallas is the Peter of the United States you know you think so yeah go fuck yourself dallas there's a lot of a lot of old money there and they're all kind of

pricks about it yeah just like peter just there you go i don't think he's old money but he's just kind of a little prick about it he's probably pretty poor but yeah um but anyway so did you notice that um we got bombay dropping charlie off at practice but did you notice that we got Bombay dropping Charlie off at practice? But did you notice that Bombay got downgraded from limo to cargo van? I don't think he got downgraded. I think he did that. I think that was on purpose. Oh, to haul kids.

To haul kids and hockey equipment. Okay. Gotcha. That makes sense. I've still would have gone limo. You could have fit that equipment inside of the limo. Yeah, but you couldn't haul kids. i'm so i'm assuming the way they way they the way they build up district five granted i don't know anything about the the socioeconomics

of minneapolis in 1991 or 1992 but the way they build up district five is that it's it's an inner city they're all these kids are poor as fuck. And so I'm assuming, like, you know, Terry and Jesse's dad is working overtime. Charlie's got the single mom who works at a diner. And then you see some of the outfits these kids are wearing.

The hockey equipment they were wearing before Bombay got there. These kids, this is probably the poor area of minneapolis so i'm assuming i'm assuming they don't have great access to rides to and from practice so bombay so bombay is like yeah like because he's still got we still got lewis lewis mc still driving him still driving him so it's the same service that was originally hired for him yeah i'm assuming he just went to ducksworth and and was like, hey, can we

downgrade this from a limo to a big fucking van? That way we can start driving these kids around. I can pick them up and I can drop them off from practice. Thinking like a coach. It makes sense. And then Bombay just comes

in real hot, though, as he's walking Charlie. He comes in real hot though, as he's walking Charlie, he comes in real hot with a tickle fight. Well, that shit would not fly in 2020. So I have, but right before that, he's like, Hey,

so Charlie, what happened to your dad? Oh yeah. It's just like, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa,

Whoa. Let's maybe pump the brakes a little bit. And the way Bombay asks, the way Bombay asks the way bombay asks is he because he doesn't the way he phrases it you can tell he's not he is not really asking as a way to like get to know charlie better yeah he's strictly asking like hey so what what happened to your dad like what's what's your mom's situation right Right. He's got, he's only thinking the way he phrases that question. He's only thinking about whether or not he can bang his mom or not. Oh, this is, he's getting ready to sneak in because Charlie's like, Oh no, me and my mom, we left him. At least that's what,

what she said. And then he's, you know, then he's like, Oh, my dad passed away. So I had to take care of my mom. And he's like, now I can come take care of yours, Charlie. Let me come take care of yours. I've got experience. I took care of my mom. Now let me come take care of yours, big guy. So, yeah, that's exactly what he was going for. But I'm going to brush past that.

This brought up like a huge missed opportunity. I think they have throughout this whole series and even into Game Changers. Throughout all the movies and into Game Changers is we never ever get to meet Bombay's mom. Oh yeah. I think that would be a nice

that would have been a nice thing to have happened. Working hard to get him through hockey practice. I think maybe he just felt like a wasted character or just not enough screen time

for her. Maybe. Didn't really drive the plot line. Yeah, it could have though. I mean, I guess you could have got rid of Hans. That's probably what Hans is doing. He could have got rid of Hans and just had it like replace it with his mom. And it would have had probably just as much weight, if not more. you did you like how the tickle fight started where where Charlie walks up to Bombay and is like hey you got something on your shirt there hi oh hits him gets him with the nose classic oldest trick in the book sent him a gun got him and then and then bombay just goes hip check hard for the tickling hip toss right into

a tickle fight it was kind of a weird scene and then like charlie's mom is just looking down like oh that bombay he sure is a tickle monster like that's so weird man yeah that like why didn't why did they do that? I don't know. Tickling little kids, I feel like, probably wasn't that big of an issue. Not an issue people talked about in 1992, but nowadays,

you see anybody tickling a kid, especially not their own kid. Red flags, Pompeii. People are jumping in to break that up. Especially not their own kid. Yeah. Red flags, Bombay. Red flags. People are jumping in to break that up. Louis is jumping out like, hey, hey, hey, hey. Let's cut the shit over here.

So anyways, it ends with Charlie's mom just kind of smiling and watching the tickle fight. And then we to uh lewis driving bombay down the road in the van um and and bombay is telling him lawyer stories he's like right in the middle of my cross-examination i said to the guy i usually defend heels like you you scuzzy mole-faced rat yeah ha ha good one sir that's that's what it is What a What a line to drop in court As you're cross examining somebody Yeah What was it

Mole faced rat And so he's insulting Imagine being the stenographer and having to type that up Yeah He's insulting a physical deformity That this individual cannot help. Calling out his mole face.

I mean, it's pretty rude. Yeah. In the middle of court? Yeah, I was just assuming he just said that to like a regular looking person though. Oh, you think it was just like a show, you know? Like a mobster? Like a mobster was sitting up there? Maybe.

Some mole-faced rat. that's probably what he said to that old lady from the first the first case now he was really really getting after her that makes sense yeah she deserved it I can't believe I never noticed that before the old ladies and then like the next couple scenes you see her like in the

background just fucking mean mugging and ladies and then like the next couple scenes you see her like in the background just fucking mean mugging um and then and then uh we get the the ever i think it's one of your favorite scenes right and then we get fulton boom smash of the van window yes so reverse so lewis slams on the brakes and then reverses back to the area that they that like doesn't really make sense but he wants to go investigate i guess bombay automatically knows that he should jump out and chase someone yeah well first so the that So, Fulton is in an alley shooting pucks at a treasure chest? It's just a trunk. A trunk? Yeah. Like Harry Potter style.

That's what they use when they go to Hogwarts. They pack their trunks. So, he's in an alley shooting slap shots at this thing. Missing every time, right? Yeah. He's shooting into the street number one like come on just turn the fuck around shoot into the fence behind you in the alley there's two there's two brick wall buildings next you shoot one of those yeah like just don't shoot

into the street easy solution anyways all right keep going so but so he shoots and one of one of the pucks hits bombay's window and so we see this from the inside of the car it a you can't tell it's a fucking hockey puck no b the way the window shatters is real weird that's not how windows shatter not from a collision not not yeah not side windows that is shattered like a windshield would shatter not like a spider like the way it spiders out yeah um but yeah so something large and dangerous smacks the window and breaks it and then lewis's first reaction is to stop throw it in reverse go back to that area and bombay's instant reaction is to hop out of the car and run right at it.

Yeah, I got to take that shit down. Could have easily been somebody with a gun, bro. Yeah. But fortunately for him, it wasn't. And we see Fulton with a hockey stick. And we see some athleticism from Bombay chases him down. Well, Fulton was real slow. He was running slow.

That's a real half-assed jog for trying to get away from someone. He didn't even, like, went to hop the fence, but didn't even really, didn't try. Yeah. Just a haphazard jump. That was more Fulton sandbagging it than Bombay. Bombay hit the speed right there. Turned on the jets. So he chases down Fulton, grabs him

and he's like, what the fuck are you doing, bro? And so then we get some Fulton backstory. He sets up the puck and then Fulton hits the back window and scares the shit out of Lewis.

So that's one out of five. So that's... That's what we learned. One out of five. So that's the other thing. Before we get too far. So after we realize it's Fulton shooting pucks, after we ran after him and grabbed him, then we're like, okay, let's see this again.

Set it up. They set the trunk up again, facing the street view again. And Lewis, move the fucking van, bro. Why is your van right behind the trunk up again facing the street view again and lewis move the fucking van bro why is your van right behind the trunk stays in the exact same place yeah it feels like bombay didn't really communicate with lewis that that was about to happen again though because um he's just sitting in the he's just sitting in the van reading a newspaper right yeah? Yeah, he's just like, oh, let me grab this newspaper and then boom. There goes another window.

Times two. Yeah. Who's paying for that shit? It's insured. He's going to hit his deductible. It's going to be a whole thing. I can tell. Well, it's a rental van or whatever. So I'm assuming it's insured.

Duxworth will get it. Duxworth will get it. Duxworth will get it. Yeah. So it breaks, hits the back window. We learn Fulton lets Bombay know, yeah, about one out of five. And so Bombay is like, oh, is it true what they say about the scholarships and all that stuff and we learned that the real reason that fulton doesn't play hockey is because he cannot skate yep can't skate it's called bombay a moron that's that's my favorite part he's like no i can't you moron i don't know how to skate

well because there's a weird back and forth where he's like well so why don't you play hockey in films like i can't play hockey yeah so what do you mean you can't i can't well what do you mean you can't the moron i can't play hockey i can't skate yeah i love it and then smashes the puck into the trunk and it goes flying shit yeah great great shot one hits the one out of five yeah and then and then it's a hard cut to uh like a little training montage because you know bombay has the bright idea right he goes uh don't even get me he goes fulton fulton doesn't know how to skate yeah so you know the best way to go about teaching him how to skate is to put him not on ice skates but

on rollerblades and then take him to possibly the worst place in the world to rollerblade. Absolutely. Have you been to the mall of America before? Long time ago. Yeah. I've been a few times. There is no possible way that they're getting away with this for more

than five minutes. It's easily one of the most crowded places in the country at any given time absolutely like that no there's no way they're gonna be able to skate through anyone and we see what happens fulton almost hurt some poor old lady like he's lucky she didn't like break her leg or hip when he absolutely checks up ends her into the fountain ruins her packages like it was just very very questionable decision making yeah and i don't know what they're going down stairs and shit yeah but fulton i don't know how he should have fallen down like shout out to the to the stunt guy that did that stair scene because that looked very difficult yeah but that was wild and that

poor old lady man i couldn't get over that yeah i forgot about that part i was like oh my god he like decked her the old lady and then it the the rest of the kids are skating to the food court and like stealing people's food yeah it's goldberg goldberg steel stole some dude's sandwich as he was running around and that's just like so many shenanigans like come on there's no way that that's just a dick move dude yeah oh man it's just like so many shenanigans. Like, come on. There's no way that that's just a dick move, dude. Yeah. Oh, man. It's just running wild.

But the most Bombay thinking that's just what a lunatic. Like, you know, it's a great idea. This kid doesn't know how to skate. Let's yeah. Let's take him to the Mall of America. Neato. Yeah. I mean, it works.

Yeah. Here we go. The mean, it works. Yeah, here we go. The ends justify the means. It's just, you know, I don't know. I guess we can't question Bombay's methodologies because like you said, you know, the proof is in the pudding and he puts up those W's. They don't call him the Minnesota Miracle Man for nothing. It's true. The godfather of hockey. This is how he creates miracles.

He takes kids skating in dangerous public places. Smart. So that ends that scene. And then we cut to the locker room. And we have the big unveiling. Here we go, Brandon. We finally are no longer District 5.

No longer District 5. Yeah, and the team is skeptical and we hear our boy Peter say, what kind of a brain-dead jerk came up with that name? The Ducks. Probably said I did. And then Averman, do you like Averman's

line? Who are we sponsored by? Donald and Daisy? Yeah. After Bombay says, oh, we're sponsored, so that's why we got the name Ducks. That's when Averman busts out the line. Oh, Donald and Daisy sponsored us? That was excellent.

He's not wrong. Yeah, and Bombay's like what would you rather be district five some stupid number and then peter what's better than some stupid animal whatever peter get out of here peter fucking sucks and then but yeah but so then bombay does his his uh his rousing speech about how cool ducks are yeah yeah which is they're the most noble and agile and intelligent. And, you know, it's, it's excellent. But even, even Guy was like talking shit. They don't have teeth.

Guy was very skeptical. Yeah. They don't even have teeth. And then Bombay hits you with neither do hockey players. Yeah. Another great line. But you see some young love blossoming right there. Connie's skeptical. You know, Connie and Guy are sitting real close to each other.

Yeah. Yeah. Real close. Yeah, exactly. But I love. And when Bombay does like his big reveal, kids are like, oh, boy. Oh, boy. I don't know.

I don't know if I'm going to be a duck. But then and Peter, of course, when Carp asks him if we should be ducks, Peter's like, no, no, no. I'm a I'm an asshole so we're not going to buy into this but then finally fulton's like i'm a duck yeah well yeah so so bombay he he does uh he he goes through his whole speech about how cool ducks are everybody's still skeptical and then he rips off his jacket reveals that he's wearing a duck jersey with his number on the back. 66 Bombay. I've got my duck's jersey on right now. And then he goes

so he has the box of everybody's jerseys and he's like, okay, who wants to be a duck? And there's some weird, awkward silence because everybody's still very skeptical. And then you get the ringleader mystery man, Fulton, who's like, you know what?

I'll be a duck. Fulton and Charlie, the heart and the soul right there. Yep. And so, yeah, Fulton goes up, Charlie goes up, and then everybody gives in. And they're like, okay, whatever. And then Bombay not only yells, he does like what they do, like a whole Family Guy episode where they say the name of the movie. And they're like, oh, because he where they say the name of the movie and they're like oh um because he's like now we're the ducks the mighty ducks it was a real it was a real awkward like forced thing too because he's he's like yeah we're the

ducks now and then he like it's like a weird little pause and he looks at everybody and he's like, The Mighty Ducks. Yeah. Oh, I see what you did there. I hear it. They do that in the Lord of the Rings movies too. Do they? Yeah. All three of them. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. It's been a while since I've watched this.

That's a travesty. You should hit the extended edition once a quarter. Once a quarter? Yeah. The extended editions are like four fucking hours, dude. Well, it's not like you're just sitting there doing nothing else. You're kind of milling around the apartment, you know? Maybe doing some

things in the background. It's beautiful. Span it over the course of a week. It's awful it's an awful long time though it's off that's like 12 hours that's 12 hours of my life best 12 hours you'll ever spend that's i don't have a lot of hours left i gotta i gotta savor this those 12 hours you know you're on the wrong side of 30 yeah it's you hit 30 my clock is ticking down not up you know anyways all right so we get the mighty ducks they are here to stay and then we jump to the cardinals game and wait wait but before before we skipped the the duck reveal thing i wanted to point out that in the background sitting

next to charlie's mom while bombay is giving the whole speech and everybody, you know, the jury's getting unveiled. Sitting in the back of the room, sitting next to Charlie's mom is Lewis. And he's just chilling next to Charlie's mom, eating a box of popcorn. Oh, really? I didn't even notice that. I literally did not even notice him in the background. Yeah. I saw him. I put a note it's later i think it's in this cardinals game he's got the camcorder like the old school camcorder on his shoulder ah man i love seeing that camera guy driver camera guy get some tape gotta study the tape you know

absolutely he's just he's the utility man of of that team and you like to see it like and i think we mentioned this at the way like when he when he first shows up there's so many weird little like he's still driving around and then he pops up like in the background of a bunch of shots to where like i feel like there was more there was probably there's like two one or two more scenes where he was more heavily involved with like helping bombay coach that they just cut out. I have to imagine, you know? Yeah.

I feel like the, the original script and the original cut, he had a more heavy hand in, in molding these ducks and then they kind of just cut it down. Yeah. Just got a shame. Yeah. Left behind. And MC Ganey deserves better.

Let's release the release. The MC Ganey cut Disney. Do you think they have that? Like a secret MC Ganey cut in the vault? Absolutely. They have to anyways. All right. So we jumped to the Cardinals game and I actually kind of forgot that this happened at the beginning of the game where the two guys skate to center ice

and they're like, what in the hell are they doing? The ducks are playing catch with football yeah that's right back and forth and um i don't it's i understand if they would do something like that like with the eggs in practice it just seems a little weird doing that um in before a game right so i because bombay i forget exactly what bombay says but bombay says while they're they're because they're skating it so what do you have he has them in like a uh two lines right so they're skating they're essentially skating in one big circle and while they're on the opposite side of the circle they're passing a football to somebody else right yeah and the

person they're passing the football to switches as they move in the circle yeah and so what he's doing essentially is he's he i forget exactly what he says but he says something like make eye contact make eye contact communicate out there when you're passing the puck so i think what he's trying to get do what he's trying to force them to do is to look up because it's it's only natural especially when you're this young when you're playing look down is to look down at the puck and then you're not paying attention to who you're passing it to you're not looking and so i think he's trying to um get the eyes up get the eyes up and then okay yeah thank you for talking us through that

coaching methodology because it didn't make any damn sense but it is weird to do right before a game yeah but thank you okay so that timing was weird. Cause I, I, I, the, the Cardinals players like what a weird ass team. I love that. Just calling them out. Like, why are you guys doing this? I don't, I don't remember that part, but then, um, I love, uh, Bombay, you know, just always kind of playing some Jedi mind tricks with everyone and he just dumped some pucks out

for Fulton yeah he knew exactly what he was doing because he called the play building the fear is what he was doing so he dumps a whole bucket of pucks out for Fulton he clears every other duck off the ice and it's

just like hey Fulton just rip it here's a whole bucket of pucks out for for fulton he clears every other duck off the ice and it's just like hey fulton just rip it here's a whole bucket of pot of pucks just rip it and fucking fulton goes at it dude and he's again one through five he's sending shit into the stands yeah breaking glass he's hitting the post he's he's everywhere except for the net which cardinals are shook honestly if i was 10 10 11 years old however old they are and so some kid who looks like he's fucking 16 year old 16 years old comes out and just starts ripping that shit and it's going nowhere that he's aiming i would be whole i'd be like holy shit i could die i could die in this game right at the very end of this is my dad aka big mike it's his absolute favorite moment in this movie and he comments on it every time it comes on where when the glass breaks and all of the cardinals jump like startled and they jump at the exact same

time it just he loses it every single time. Isn't there a dude that's behind the glass that gets broken? It takes out the glass and he wipes out and then all of the cardinals in unison go jump and

lift up off the ice. Then Bombay's like, yep, one out of five. That would honestly be fucking terrifying Lifted up off the ice. So, yeah, Bombay's like, yep, one out of five. And then we get some. That would honestly be fucking terrifying if you're the coach. Especially the goalie. Dude, no. I'm not getting destroyed. Imagine if you got hit, like, underneath the padding or something.

Oh, my God. You'd feel that forever. Yeah. But, so, anyways, we get Bombay, and this is it. This is the moment, a monumental moment, Brandon, because Bombay lets them know we're starting fresh. The Ducks are undefeated. And holy mother of Pearl, Brandon, quack, quack, quack quack and then connie looks around and she's like come on you guys let's get this going quack quack quack quack go ducks oh my lanta then you get it doesn't it doesn't it cut to the cardinals coaches and they're like what the fuck is going on over there yeah the cardinals coach looks at the other one because the cardinals coach is just like a regular ass dude. He's not like a, he's not like a youth coach.

He looks just like a dad that's doing this for kicks. And he's like, what the hell was that? What's wrong with you guys? Yeah. I mean, I was trying to, I was trying to think if the, the Cardinals could do like a little, you know, sound effect for them, but I don't think they can ducks. Ducks is really the only thing you can do that with right yeah absolutely there's i'm trying to think what else you could because you can't really do like a roar like for

like a lion or a tiger and like what are you going to be the huskies you know like bark bark bark bark like that's just awkward yeah well you'd have to like actually bark you couldn't you'd And what are going to be the huskies? You know, like bark, bark, bark, bark. That's just awkward. Well, you'd have to actually bark. You'd have to like... You can just say bark. That would be hilarious. Like you were the kittens and you're just...

Did you guys hear that Weird Teams meow chant? What do you think the Blade Rockets chant would be? Boom. weird team's meow chance that's yeah what do you think what do you think the blade rockets chant would be what about what about viper freeze can we do a viper free i don't think you i don't know yeah yeah because i feel more like a like a hissing like there was there was one time um me and my friends were hiking and we came we happened upon a rattlesnake and a hearing a snake hiss at you it will make your heart drop into your goal oh for sure about a few seconds um the rattlesnakes you could do like a little rattle noise though now you could do that um that's that's better

than like a viper the vipers don't have anything like that they would just have you just have to hiss but then you'd have to like but you'd have to like for viper freeze you'd have to like hiss and then turn it into like a like an ice noise you know like like like your hiss is freezing but there's like literally no other animal like you you said, that you could do this with. Cause like the growls and the barks and all those noises, they, they are not necessarily chant a bowl. Like, you know,

they're not, they're not chantable. Yeah. I just made that word. Yeah. They're not chantable, but you could do, I mean,

you do what like, like pro teams do now where you just, you get like a sick ass, uh, like, uh, audio clip or whatever, you know, the carolina panthers have like the the panther growl you just get something like that or like the the winnipeg jets have like the little

jet flyover you know oh those jet flyovers the the greatest football team of the 90s the university of nebraska corn huskers they always do a jet flyover and man, I don't get your motor of it. Everybody does a jet flyover and I'm here to say why? Because it's awesome. Gets you fired up, Brandon. What a waste of taxpayer money, though.

Well, I'm not going to fight you on that because that's very frivolous government spending, but that's what the U.S. government's all about. Career politicians. Anyways. Why pay for education when we can just have jets fly over football games? You know?

Yeah. Health care? No, thank you. Too much money to be made on the sick. Okay. Anyways. Anyways. So we get the Cardinals game. it jumps to 943 like right after that it

jumps right over to 943 and we see it's 2-0 home team so the ducks are down that's down to nothing and we've got cardinals on the offensive um bombay yells dig it out of the corner um which they do in fact do that after someone just plows into the boards and completely misses the puck. I love that moment. And then they're just passing it like wizards up the ice. Because they got their heads up. They're communicating. Heads up, communicating, soft hands.

They're cradling. They're not stopping. They're getting all those fundamentals. You accept the past. You don't stop the past. I'm going to cradle it, Brandon. To each their own. Okay, sure. You're going to have a lot of broken eggs.

You say potato. I say potato. Boil them, mash them, stick them in a stew. Okay. Going back to Lord of the Rings. The passing, this leads to the first goal, correct? Spoiler alert. And let me tee you up for this, Brandon. I got a lot to say about this first goal.

We're going to tee Brandon up because for the viewers at home and the listeners at home home when you go watch this you will see a confusing sequence where you see the goal get shot and you're like oh hey look at gee shoot that in and then it cuts to jesse's dad say that's my boy and then when we cut back to the ice we see jesse jumping up and celebrating but that was you know when he's celebrating do you hear what he said no he's so he's they're all like dog piling or whatever and he gets out of the dog pile and he throws his hands up and he goes the oreo line oh yes because it's him it's him gee and terry yeah which the hot kid and was infamously referred to as the oreo line yeah absolutely i'm glad that they're like hey man man, we're going to own this.

You can't talk shit about us. Yeah. It's over. Yes. But so, so that goal. So, yeah. So, so when they show the goal, they show all the passing. It goes Averman to, I think it goes Averman to Terry and then Terry passes it to Guy.

And now Guy and Jesse are real close to each other. Both of the middle of the ice in between the two face off things in the offensive zone, real close to each other. It looked like Guy shot at it. It clearly shows Guy shoot the puck and then it cuts to the puck going into the net. So that's, that's a Guy goal, right but maybe jesse poked it in off the rebound like you know maybe it was no rebound knowledge it's shot and and i think so it it

hits so that they so gee shoots it and he and so if you're looking at the net right so Guy is in the middle of the ice and then Jesse is slightly in front of him but to the left right Guy shoots the puck and then when it cuts to the puck going in the puck hits the right post and then goes in so there's no there's no rebound that it shows um. If Jesse actually did score the goal, they completely cut out that, whatever happened for that. But the last thing you see before the puck goes in is Guy shoot the puck. And from the position where everybody is on the ice when they cut, there's no way Jesse could have tipped it or gotten a rebound or anything like that.

That's Guy's goal. But they cut. So then it cuts to Jesse and Terry's dad saying that's my boy. Jesse takes full credit for the goal. He's like, Oreo line, we scored. And then in the newspaper clip that they show at the end of the game, it

says Jesse scored the goal, which is fucking bullshit. Guy and Jesse. No, that's two Ducks goals. Guy had both goals. All right, Brandon. Well, we are going to have to reach out to someone because obviously something took place that we maybe didn't see. And Jesse was able to fire. I don't know what to tell you.

I saw what I needed to see. And it was Guy carrying this fucking team. And so you feel like your boy Guy is getting sandbagged. Yeah, they're taking credit for his goal. Sandbagging sons of bitches. Just garbage.

Guy deserves better. I'm sorry to hear that for Guy. You know, you never, even especially in your youth when you're checking the paper, you never like to see your points or your goals going to someone else. No, undeservedly, because I even in my notes, I even wrote like when it happened, I wrote Guy scores the first goal and then it immediately cuts to Jesse and Jesse's dad. And I was like, oh, shit. Wait, what? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't know. We'll have to see. But anyway, so after that controversial goal, we get the Cardinals on the offensive again. And this is a sequence that is a little bit confusing, but I'm glad they threw it in there, I guess.

This was coming at this scene from a 2021 mindset of concussions and sports injuries. Dicey. Now that we have CTE. I was terrified for carp yeah i i thought i said the exact same thing like nothing about this is funny anymore because we realized that like carp had like needed to get rushed to the hospital not just dumped into charlie's arms he just dumps all right All right, so hold on. Let's set it up. Let's set it up. There's zero neck support on that toss.

So this is what happens, listeners. We've got the Cardinals on the offensive skating. Karp is backpedaling. He's going, he's going, he's going. He, for some insane reason, decides to drop to his knees, and the Cardinals player hits a slap shot. Well, that's a tried and true. Is it block shot move?

But absurd. Well, you, when you do it, you turn, you drop and you turn that way. You take your, your, essentially what you're doing is you're trying to, you're trying to get them to hit your thigh. Yeah. And you turn your face away. That's the most important thing is turn your fucking face away.

And card doesn't do that he just drops down on two knees and puts his face right in front of the book yeah and it point blank range gets drilled by a fulton level slap shot and he gets absolutely taken out i literally wrote um so cte this might not be funny anymore. No. Except they make a joke out of it. And Bombay is like, how many fingers am I holding up? And Peter wouldn't know that anyways. And then do you like, do you like Averman calling it? Like he's, he's calling Cartman being laid out.

He's like the carpster used his head to stop the puck. Mr. Carpillani. Fucking Averman, dude. I love him. So then they essentially they pick him up off the ice. Zero neck support. Zero head support. Rip his helmet

off, which is like, whoa, stop. He just had a head injury. Yeah. then they they carry him to the bench and then bombage just throws him over the over the boards and into the bench yeah just and he literally goes hey charlie put him on the bench and just dumps a lifeless body as he's doing this charlie throw him on the bench they just dump carp's body uh just throw the corpse away i guess i don't know that he carp looked so lifeless and out of it that i'm i'm convinced that that's one of those concussions to where if you if he's on the bench

and he doses off he's done he's he's not waking up again yeah yeah he's either dead or he's on the bench and he doses off. He's done. He's not waking up again. Yeah. He's either dead or he's in a coma. Yeah. It's, yeah, that could have been real bad. It's terrifying. Yeah. Terrifying.

So Bombay uses this injury timeout. We're back to the game. No harm, no foul. Yep, exactly. Like, here we go. CTE, never heard of it. Just like the NFL. Sorry, that was a barb. Anyways,

let's go ahead because we've got 28 seconds left. We use our injury timeout to launch the secret weapon. Connie, Guy, Jesse, Terry, let's go. And then here comes full, just like we talked about. Peter is encouraging for the first time he's like let's do this um and then we we see the cardinals goalie looking a little upset that we got our boy fulton coming oh he yeah as soon as fulton steps out on the ice it cuts to the cardinals goalie and he is shook yeah he is just he's not wide-eyed not looking thrilled about his life and this is where we got our boy lewis on the cam okay he's he's recording from the bench he's i i worry about the stability

um you know might be a little shaky but we'll trust lewis we'll trust him on that one um but we we hit the ice the ducks win the face off it heads over to Fulton. He is gearing up for a big, bold, nasty slap shot, and everyone scatters. The Cardinals get terrified, and everybody runs to the boards. They don't want anything to do with it.

And then what happens? The goalie leaves the net, right? Or maybe he doesn't leave the net. He goes behind it he likes behind it real quick he's like fuck this i'm out of here man and then and then they do what the what the little giants would call the annexation of puerto rico and well you know little giants reference if anyone out there is watching that movie but anyways we i think we we we got that it was a little giants reference when you said little Giants.

Are we fighting right now? But so the so Fulton doesn't take the shot and he passes it and ends up going to our boy Guy. Yeah. Who skates it in and puts it in the net tie ball game. Boom. Boom. Ends in a tie. The non-loss for district five slash the ducks and what should be what should be a game of the century for gee but instead he

gets his first goal ripped away from him so so right after that it this is when it shows the newspaper clipping right and it cuts the things and it says it's not a newspaper paper clipping i believe it's a magazine called let's play hockey it's the number one hockey publication america's number one hockey publication oh it's sponsored by i didn't catch that yeah sponsored by coca-cola and the uh so the headline uh front page now, so this is America's number one hockey publication. Yeah.

Which lead this. So the fact that the last place team, the last play a tie, the last place team ties, the last place team in Minneapolis, Minnesota ties. And that makes front page news for america's number one hockey publication seems a bit off yeah uh but the front page headline says ducks tie cardinals two to two and then the sub headline is jesse hall and gee uh germaine score first two goals in ducks history again bullshit gee had both of those goals and then then, so I have the whole article, not the whole article,

but most of the article, the front page portion of the article here with me. And it is just absolutely nonsense. Let me read, let me read the first paragraph for you. It says both teams had scoring opportunities from the start of the game. An opening goal by the Ducks would give them confidence and hope for victory. A Cardinals goal might do more to demoralize the Ducks than to lift the Cardinals, but that psychological lift could prove to be the margin of victory. From the Ducks' perspective, that first goal is crucial. They let a number of good scoring opportunities slip by until finally it happens. The Ducks' Jesse

Hall put the puck in the net. That's the first paragraph. That's gobbledygook nonsense. And it skips over the first two Cardinals goals. The Cardinals don't matter.

The Ducks are the main character. And it's Gee's goal goal it's not Jesse's goal I'm still very upset about that fucking just goddamn bullshit but anyway so after this we're in Hans skate shop and we're getting an update

I'll set you up here Brandon because we got some important hockey standing updates and they're getting geared up because Hans lets us know a tie is exactly what we needed to get in the playoffs. The Ducks have a shot in the playoffs. You goddamn right, Brandon. They do. Why?

We got some anti-vaxxer parents on the Panthers causing them to be out with the measles. Yep. God, even happening in the early 90s to get fucking back and get your shit together. Good God. Read a book. I because of the beauty of vaccines. I don't know a ton about measles. I don't know how contagious that is, but wouldn't.

Wouldn't other when we have to like, wouldn't we be worried about the other teams that played the Panthers before we shut it down well unlike a lot of shitheads they may have quarantined themselves and kept their kids in the house so they weren't sneezing and coughing all over the other kids and maybe the other kids were vaccinated maybe maybe maybe maybe the panthers did maybe they caught it early and they did the noble thing. They, they caught one kid, got the measles, took it out in between games,

right? He got the measles in between games. And then they, they noticed at a practice or whatever, and they were like, shut it down. Yeah. Hopefully that's what happened.

Yeah. But now we, we hear that they only have to be the Huskies to make the playoffs. Cause everyone, but the bottom two are in. Yes. Which is a completely different playoff format than we have in game changers.

Game changers. Only the top two teams made the playoffs. You know, I like to just think that, you know, 20 years, a lot has changed. Maybe this.

Yeah. There's probably more teams now. There's probably more teams. And I probably more teams and i think i think there's the in game changers they're slightly older they're like a year or two older right i think yeah because maybe it's a different club hockey too yeah you know well we'll let it slide then but so yes but so we get so it cuts into hans's sports shop which i so i love this because in hansa's hansa's sketch up there's he has a whole wall a whole wall dedicated in a whole wall of like chalkboard wall dedicated to the standings who wouldn't have 10 year old youth hockey standings that brandon they literally just spent an entire year's salary at that time

in southeast minnesota on in his skate shop like 15k that's probably a little light still but anyways like they literally just spent like 15 000 in his skate shop of course he's going to dedicate a wall to the ducks it only makes sense well i'm assuming he had this beforehand because it's it's i think so i'm assuming he's had fully up to that he's had this for decades right because it's a big youth hockey guy because it's a whole i it's a whole wall and it has the whole the standings for the whole league and so let's take into these standings what are the huge chalkboard so so as we're walking up to the board he's talking to bombay that's when he says the panthers got the measles they're out all we all you need to do is beat the huskies and then you'll make the playoffs and so then we walk up to the standing boards and you

can see the standing board at the top we have the hawks, right? Yeah. 12-0. 12-0. Saw that. Slain. Now, this is where it gets a little tricky. So, as they're walking up and standing in front of the standings board, the second-place team is the Cardinals. Okay. And at first, it says their record is 8-4-0.

Eight wins, four losses, zero ties ties we know that to be fucking bullshit because we literally just tied them maybe they haven't updated the standings yet they have they have because of this next scene so then then it's it cuts to a slightly different angle on hans to where he not right next to the standings he has a huge fucking map of minneapolis st paul with all the districts mapped out right and so in in in that little shift of a scene the little cut um you can see the the standings for the cardinals again and for that one it says eight three and one so i think that they shot the original scene and somebody was like bro we forgot the fucking tie for the cardinals and so then they fixed it but they forgot to you know oh i love that i'm so glad you caught that brand yeah oh

better step your game up disney nothing gets packed past us yeah so then so then after the cardinals tied for second place are the flames they are also eight three and one okay then underneath them we have the hornets. The Hornets are the team in Game Changers. Remember the first blindfold play? That was the Hornets. That was, yeah. God, I hated that. The dumb, dumb fucking Hornets.

So, in the 1992 season that we're currently watching, they are 7-4-1. Not bad. Not bad. Fourth place. Solid. Fifth place, we have the jets who are seven and five okay sixth place we have so this is this is where this is where we get to the you know the bottom of the barrel the the shitty teams here because we have the tigers who are four seven and one so four wins seven losses one tie yeah then we have the c, who are 4-7-1. So four wins, seven losses, one tie.

Yep. Then we have the Cubs, who are also 4-7-1. Okay. Then we drop down to the Huskies, who are 1-11. Yep. And I'm assuming that one win was against the Ducks. Yep. Had to have been. Then

in ninth place, we have the Ducks are zero ten and one zero eleven and one eleven and one my apologies zero eleven and one i was trying to do my math yes zero eleven and one twelve twelve yeah so they played 12 games uh so the ducks are in are in ninth ninth place out of 10, right? Yep. So I'm assuming, so they've, they've played 12 games. Hans is talking as if the playoffs are right around the corner. So I feel like we're talking 20 game schedule here, right?

Maybe 18 because the Panthers bet about out, you know? Yep. Possibly. Yep. That makes sense. So, yeah. And so he, and so he's right. Yeah, possibly. Yeah, that makes sense. So, yeah. And so he's right. So if they beat the Huskies, that would put the Huskies at 1-12 and then the Ducks at 1-11-1. So winning percentage-wise, we're in the playoffs. Yeah. So we just have to be – as long as the Huskies don't win another game,

all we have to do is beat the Huskies. Yep, exactly. Then we're in. Yep. And so, and then, yeah, it's top eight. That makes the playoffs. But so those are the standings. It's, and I'm assuming 18 games season,

maybe 20 games season, but Hans is talking as if the playoffs are right on the, right around the corner. Maybe it's only a 13 game season yeah but uh bombay is nervous about jumping into that eighth seat because awaiting them in the eighth seat is the hawks well so this this gets to another thing so the the playoffs in the so in game chang, we have states right where it's all of states. The whole state of Minnesota is in this playoffs in the flashback at the beginning of D1 to Gordon Bombay's famous missed penalty shot.

That is the state championships because they're playing Duluth East. Duluth is a long ways away from Minneapolis. I would assume these states, these playoffs are also states as well. If you get in, you're not necessarily playing the Hawks right away. Oh, gotcha.

It's a bigger bracket. It's not an eight-team bracket. Probably like 32-team. I assume it's a bigger bracket. It's not an eight-team bracket, probably like 32-team. I assume it's a bigger bracket because of the flashback as well as game changers. That makes sense. They don't ever mention it, though. The way Hans talks and everybody talks, it's as if it's only this league that the playoffs are for. But the flashback is States.

So I assume because the flashback was States, this playoffs is also States. Yeah. And like you said, the flashback, they were playing Duluth, which is a little ways away. And so States is just that. So we get everyone there. So it's going to be a bigger bracket naturally. Okay.

And I would assume. So naturally with playoffs, you have the top seed team plays the bottom seed team whereas so for if this was the playoffs were just for this league you the ducks will play the hawks first round yeah which we don't want to do that's you know asking to ruin the whole fucking movie anyways but if it is states then you have to factor in all the other teams that are going in there too and i would assume similar to how like the ncaa basketball and like the ncaa hockey brackets go yeah you four states you would try to put the um teams in the same conference on opposite sides or same leagues on opposite sides

yeah good point you know that way you spread it out even and out that way you don't get you know one bracket that's just big 10 teams playing everybody playing big 10 teams you know yeah but the big payoff for all this we got two big payoffs actually is that we learn that you know some things haven't changed. The Hawks are really good, but some things have changed, and that means the boundaries have changed. So, after you get to look at the standings, the slight cut where you see the updated Cardinals

record is when Hans is looking at the gigantic fucking map and he hits us with some gerrymandering going on. Yeah. You need to tell the listeners what gerrymandering means, Brandon. You can't just say it. Do people not really know what gerrymandering going on yeah yeah you need to tell the listeners what gerrymandering means brandon you can't just what do people do people not really know what gerrymandering means gerrymandering is essentially when you have uh and it's usually in a political context

where you have districts like voting districts or counties or whatever and then you just you move the boundaries to fit whatever you want to happen essentially it's wonderful yeah sharp fucking just bombay just dropping some lawyer just google it well bombay doesn't bombay doesn't hans hans hans brings it up nobody in the movie actually says jerry mandarin that was just that was that was what i was liking in it too oh yeah you just i enjoyed it okay it's a great moment great moment in the pot okay so hans hans is at the map he's telling bombay you wouldn't even be a duck or you wouldn't even be a hawk last year I think he says last year

right last year they redrew the district they redrew the lines they gerrymandered the shit out of this redrew the lines I mean the lake is not the boundary anymore and so Bombay would not have been a hawk he would have been a duck

and not and not just Bombay and not just Bombay. Yeah, not just Bombay. And so with that, we cut scene and we've got the Hawks. They're warming up. They're skating.

And we see Bombay with a very official guy with a very official sport code and glasses and a very nineties kind of like, that's how you know, he's, he's, he's legit is the glasses. Yeah. He kind of looked like a dork, but, but, but he comes up, he's like, I'm afraid we got a bit of a problem here. We got an ineligible player on the Hawks right now. And so Riley calls banks over. It's just like, man, this guy, this has got to be some kind of joke.

What the heck is going on here? Banks get over here. And we see banks his dad storming down from the stands. This is not going to storming down like a bear. Yeah. Like the storm and bears, but he jumps in and Riley's like, listen listen it's no big deal mr banks it's just kind of some kind of mistake and the guy comes out and he's like hey man um is is this you mr banks at address whatever they said and hey no mistake about it adam banks is playing for the wrong team. Because of the gerrymandering, Banks should be a duck. Yeah.

And so, and Mr. Banks is like, my son is a hawk, not a duck. You know, he's very offended by the fact that his son is going to have to play for a different team. Yeah. I will say people, the good thing, people took to the Ducks name change real quick. Yeah. Everybody instantly starts referring to them as ducks. If I was coach Riley, I would keep calling him district five. Oh yeah.

Just like an asshole. Yeah. Yeah. I would never like, especially like that goes with Riley's heel character. Like he shouldn't, he shouldn't respect their new name. He should always call them district five. They'll always be, you know, underneath his shoe anyway. So, but, but yeah, so they're kind of going back and forth a little bit. And Riley's

like, is this, you're doing Gordon and like, is getting really pissed. And, uh, basically Mr. Banks is like, Hey, my son is not going to play for your team. It's not going to happen. And Bombay kind of throws it down on them. And it's like, Hey, that's fine. But if he doesn't play for the ducks, he doesn't play at all. And if he plays for the Hawks, they have to forfeit every game. Boom. Mike, I literally put Mike drop Bombay, shut it down. And so Bombay does a nice mic drop and walk away pauses for a second and

then riley goes chasing after him oh yeah because he's furious absolutely and the the collar is still popped no it's that oh it's never unpopped yeah he's always all right all right he's always got that shit going um but uh i love when he comes up in bombay's like the bitch when it works against you doesn't it jack yeah so jack jack comes in fucking hot and he he drops a lot of he drops a lot of gems he he talks about how his his dad wouldn't be proud of bombay or something like that, right? Yeah. Goes so hard at Bombay. It's like, even with him, what are you going to prove? You and that bunch of losers. Yeah.

He calls them all losers. He says that Bombay let his dead dad down. Yeah. Just comes in so hard. He says Bombay wasn't a has-been he was a never was oh yeah that's um and then he talks about coaching him for six years he drops that line in which i that was interesting yeah six years so so that confirms that he didn't quit right after the the you know the the missed penalty shot he stuck it out and he endured

probably so much more abuse from riley yeah well because um because when he when he tells him he wants what are you and those losers gonna prove this is where bombay goes super sarcastic and it's like that's right they are losers we hate losers don't we like kind of trying to throw it back at riley he's like they don't even deserve to live yep yeah and and we see jesse and peter who is of course not going to take this because peter sucks but yeah he uh how does peter at 10 years old peter of all people not understand sarcasm yeah and he is a walking little sarcastic bastard yeah you know and and but yeah Riley does hit him with like the best like who taught you to go for the w you could have been great now look at you not even has been you're a never was collar pop all right that's that's he went so hard at the bumper yeah he

really really uh really goes after it but then did you so it cuts to the locker room after that and did you hear what i think it was charlie said where as soon as it cuts to the locker room he's like go into the playoffs. Woo. Yeah. I caught that on the subtitles. They're very prematurely celebrating, assuming they're going to beat the Huskies. Yeah.

Wow. That was especially after what's about to throw down. And we see the game that they're getting ready for is not even against the Huskies. It's against the Flames. Yeah. Or the Flames. No, the Jets. No, it's Flames. Jets. against the Flames. Yeah, or the Flames. No, the Jets. No, it's Flames.

Jets, it's Flames. It's Flames because the Flames have the worst fucking jerseys I've ever seen in my life. It's like puke yellow. It's like puke yellow and orange. There's zero contrast in that and they're just both ugly looking colors. What are we doing here, guys? Yeah.

That infuriated me. they went for cost over style they went to cheap unis i don't think they were cheap unis i think they're just sure i think the coach must be colorblind i think that's what's going on he just doesn't doesn't understand how how yellows and oranges should not be paired together if you can avoid it. You know? Or you need another color to, you know, balance it out. You can't just have yellow and orange. Throw pink in there. Oh, no.

You need a dark base color, you know? Like a navy blue or a black. Yeah, okay. Well, thank you. Maybe a dark red. That would kind of get iffy on the shade, though. You'd have to, you know, you'd Well, thank you. Maybe a dark red. That would kind of get iffy on the shade, though. You'd have to play around with it a little bit. Teams out there, if you need some new unis, dial up the pod.

Brandon, how's your back? I got you. So we're in the locker room. They're gearing up to celebrate, but we've got three boys not in uniform. Yep. And Bombay walks in, and he's like, hey, everybody, I've got three boys not in uniform yep and bombay walks in and he's like uh hey everybody i've got some great news we're getting a new player on the team so before before we get started with that sorry this is a terrible time to interrupt you but i was just thinking to myself here are they playing at the same ice rink as the hawks oh so um i thought this earlier because like the hawks are playing a different team right now

yeah so i'm assuming it's just like the one public rink just like what we used to do for like a like tournaments and stuff like even in wayne there would be like five different teams that would all kind of rotate playing each other um and you just all go to the auditorium. So I'm assuming they all just played at the same auditorium. We've established so based on the Cardinals game because the Cardinals have their own ring because the walls are decked out

painted Cardinals. Oh, really? Okay. And we're all in different cities. The Cardinals are in Coon Rapids. We've confirmed the Hawks are in Adina Not the same city You know It's probably like a good 20 minute trek between And then you factor in Minneapolis

Maybe they do share The same rink Maybe Bombay used some of that 15k to rent the same rink as the hunks no because it's a different they're in different cities why would you why would if you're in if your team is in minneapolis why would you why would you make the the hockey rink in it in a adina your home rink maybe there was a rink halfway at the halfway point i'm assuming so they're playing the flames i didn't see who the hawks were playing they didn't show it maybe the hot maybe the two teams they were playing are like in the same city and they

share a rink there you go and it's just it's because it's minnesota it's a fancy enough ice rink that it has two fully equipped rinks because even in even in in denver denver we had hockey ice rinks like that where you know they had three or four three or four ice slabs at the ready for you yeah well there you go but so i yeah it just doesn't make sense that they would share maybe there's maybe there's like two teams that are real close to each other that share that kind of thing but i mean because it's established different cities the walls are all decked out like the hawks had all the fucking banners and they they had paintings and shit on their wall that said hawks and home of the hawks and i think their arena was the parade arena um we've established that these are not these are

specific home rinks so it just it threw me off that he went from the hawk yelling at the hawks and then right into the locker room for this game threw me off well it helped with the progression of the story more than anything yeah i mean real quick real quick cuts so yeah it allowed us to continue the story without having to even leave the place okay anyway go ahead go um so bombay lets them all know we've got some great news we've got a new player our good friend adam banks remember remember remember the charlie remember the dude that gave you a concussion and smashed you into the boards? Yeah.

Best friend. We got him. He's here. Yeah. Hey, hey, everyone. Kid that bullies you in school. Excited for that. You've seen semi-pro, right?

With Will Ferrell and Woody Harrelson. When Will Ferrell trades for Woody Harrelson and he's like introducing him to the team. He's like, I got exciting news for you guys. We got a new player. I'm pretty sure every single one of us in this room has been punched in the face by him that's exactly what that is what this is like this kid bullies you at school and now you get to play hockey with them all right that's exciting and everyone is just like what yeah the fuck i don't want to play with him like no thank you so so yeah everybody is real opposed to it even charlie is charlie's opposed to it

jesse has a fucking meltdown because he doesn't want to play with a cake eater yeah um carp is like what you don't think we can do it by ourselves? If we make the playoffs, what are we not good enough all of a sudden? Like, you haven't even won a game yet, Carp. Shut the fuck up. You're 0-11-1. I don't have a lot of confidence in you either. Zero confidence, especially in Carp.

You should be in a hospital, Carp. Yeah. Like, how's your concussion? You should not be suited up. So I think that goes back to, because they're all, Cardiff. Yeah, like, how's your concussion? You should not be suited up. I think that goes back to, because they're all fucking super pissed. Well, right now it's just, well, they're all pissed about Banks, yeah. And then this makes Terry

and Jesse and... This is the Strotherbrook that came back for them. But I think Bombay came in hot with the new player excitement, and he didn't set it up properly. I think Bombay came in hot with the new player excitement, and he didn't set it up properly. I think you lead with the fact that the districts were redrawn, and he should have been a duck the whole time.

Exactly. It's all about messaging. Hey, all of our leaders out there in the world is about the messaging. You can't just come in hot and say, oh, hey, we have a new player. You got to think about how it's going to be received. If you would have set that up, set the tone like, hey, guys, just so you know, they changed the lines. That means that a new player is going to be added to our team by rule. I know you all know him, Adam Banks. It's like, well, that guy sucks, but because League Rules said he has to be on our team, I guess I can deal with it.

Right? I'll say message that. I just gave a lesson in how to motivate, how to bring in new team members, how to succeed as a team. So listen up. Heath's Leadership Podcast. Come and see. Saddle Up Partners. It's going to get real.

Really motivating. So yeah, they're pissed about Banks and that lead. That's the straw that broke the camel's back for Peter. Peter is upset. Yeah. And so is Jesse. And Terry and that lead that's the straw that broke the camel's back for peter peter is upset yeah and so is jesse and and terry is gonna always have jesse's back that's brothers stick together and um so bombay is trying to explain this and peter's like no he doesn't think we're good enough thinks it's he thinks we're losers thinks we don't deserve to live saw your missed goal bombay used to be a hawk

once a hawk always a hawk yeah exactly and and bombay's like hey man like that's not what i meant and jesse's like you know what forget it cake eater hey you want to play go play by yourself say by yourself or i thought it was with yourself with yourself yeah if you're to play? Go play by yourself. Did you say by yourself or I thought it was with yourself. With yourself. Yeah, if you're going to play, go play with yourself. That's what he said. I guess I put the PG version in. It was that line.

He threw in the weird go play with yourself. That line and then the Goldberg alluding to circumcision Line was The highlights of this little stretch Some hidden ones in there that I did Not pick up on

But Then Bombay actually Does a Terrible speech To try and get everyone back on board. He essentially goes, if you want to quit, quit, but I'm going to go to the bench. Yeah. What?

Like, convince them to stay. Don't be an ass. Like, what are you doing? Like, yeah, so, you know, I'm going to go to the bench. If you're going to join, cool. If not, see ya. And then the ref comes up and is like, hey Bombay, where's your team?

He's like, oh, they're working themselves into a frenzy. What do we see, Brandon? We see the terrible Flames uniforms. We see those right in front of the screen. But then we get only two people suit up only two

charlie charlie and fulton and fulton fulton when he comes out he whips his fucking helmet across the ice and not not a happy yeah i was like what are we doing here fulton just fucking whipping it across the ice fulton was pissed man his his he's finally a part of a team for the first time and then they walk out yeah he's fired up you know he's upset fucking peter you know what he should have done should have grabbed a hold of peter by the neck and just like listen here you little shit i know you're upset this is a team sport you need to get over yourself Let's go hit the fucking X Yeah we need some leadership Fulton Those kids are terrified of you Use that

Listen if Fulton would have listened to Heath's leadership podcast Would have changed that fucking game around That Flames game would have been that big old W Number one We would have been in the playoffs That's a guarantee Money back guarantee right there, Brandon. So it's Charlie, it's Fulton, and the ref looks at Bombay and he's like,

not much of a frenzy going on, and Bombay cuts his losses. And this is where we're about to stop. And I forget the minute mark, Brandon, you can remind us. But Bombay says, we forfeit. And the ref hits it. Ducks forfeit. Flames win. Yep.

And I think that's right when it hits 42. So, yeah, that's the end of this part. Not 42. That's where we're going to hit 60. It's right when he announces the forfeit. Yep. So, yeah. Forfeit.

Now we're 0-12-1. Hopefully the Huskies didn't win during this little match week, match day, whatever. Hopefully we can keep it close because we need to make the playoffs. It's a tough way to end the podcast here because we have our least favorite character. Real somber note. Yeah, real somber, tough note. This is right

before the... This is when the Empire strikes back right here because we got Peter leading a fucking mutiny against Bombay. Just, I mean, how did the kids let such a little shithead become such an influential member of their team?

It just it doesn't make any sense. It's just because he's the loudest. You know, the squeaky wheel gets the grease, right? That's the thing. That's what it is. Peter grows up to be involved in at least 10 bar fights by the time he's. Oh, yeah. There's a reason.

There's a reason he is not in any of the other movies it's because he's in june yeah okay do you think do you think he grows up and eventually gets involved in mma no no because he's not a no he's not street rules only yeah he's he's a he's a street he's a bar he's an opportunistic bar fighter he's he's he's the guy who will like talk shit about you and then wait until like you turn around and then he smashes a beer bottle on your head you know okay he's not he's too squirrely and and a piece of shit to like actually fight somebody you know i bet you anything as p Peter got older, he totally got really into Ed Hardy. You know, when Ed Hardy got big there for a little bit, I bet he had like bedazzled back pocket jeans.

He might have missed out on the Ed Hardy. No way. I'm trying to think. So Ed Hardy, so he's like 10 years old in this, right? Yeah. So Ed Hardy, that would hit what? Like mid-2000s, 2005-ish? Yeah. hardy would have that would hit what like mid 2000s 2005 ish yeah so he would have been like 23 24 okay okay yeah he would have got swept up in ed hardy

then i was thinking absolutely okay 100 brandon yeah yeah and uh just in the thrills of ed hardy yeah just uh and and he's the guy when he walks in with his Ed Hardy gear on, you're like, OK, stay far away from him because this prick is just going to try and fight you for some random ass reason. I would love in season two of Game Changers for them to reference Peter. Just like a like a throwaway line from like Fulton or something. Yeah. Be like, oh, yeah, dude yeah dude that dude's in jail or something like that or Averman's like like oh whatever happened to Peter I don't know Mr. Rabble Rousing

Averman's got to call Connie the Velvet Hammer in season two for sure as soon as we get on the writing team he will definitely be referencing her. The Velvet Hammer. As soon as we get on the writing team, he will definitely be referencing her as the Velvet Hammer. Yes, as soon as we get on the writing team.

Not if we get on the writing team. When we get on the writing team. It's only a matter of time. Yeah. Well, cool. Well, I mean, that's pretty much it for... Yeah, that wraps up part three. We're ending here at the 60-minute mark with the Well, cool. Well, I mean, that's pretty much it for this episode.

That wraps up part three. We're ending here at the 60-minute mark with the forfeit to the flames. Things are looking dicey. A quick message from our friends, Broken Forest provides high-quality casual wear and lifestyle goods that are American-made and built to outlast the fast fashion trends. They also plant a tree in Boulder, Colorado for every product sold. Visit BrokenForestCo.com and use the code CakeEaters15 for 15% off your order. Brandon, give us a quick preview of the minute markers for next week do you have those handy yes we're going to be doing for part four what are our minute markers for part four so part three here we ended at the 60 minute mark so part four is going to start right up where that left off right at the 60 minute mark and we're going to go through the 81st minute okay nice and um i can't remember exactly what happens there but i do know we're going to get some resolution from our mutiny peter is he

needs some comeuppance but we're just going to get some resolution we're going to get some more quacking going that's going to be delightful i know i always love that um you know what what more could you want brandon i don know. I'm looking forward to it. You know, it's going to be quite fantastic. Hey, you know, just like the Ducks, this podcast is going to stick together and it's never going to say die, Brandon. thanks for listening everyone please remember to follow and like us on Instagram at TheCakeEatersPod, on Twitter at TheCakeEaters. Also reach out to us via email, TheCakeEatersPod at gmail.com or visit our website, TheCakeEatersPod.com.