The Cake Eaters - 21. Love Always, Santa (Marguerite Moreau)

Episode Date: December 21, 2021

In today's special Holiday Episode, Heath & Brandon discuss the Hallmark classic Love Always, Santa starting Marguerite Moreau. They talk about the wonder of Hallmark Christmas movies, sibling rivalries, how important Usher was, and Brandon gives his 5 Keys To A Great Hallmark Christmas Movie. Follow us at www.thecakeaterspod.com and on Twitter (@thecakeeaters) and Instagram (@thecakeeaterspod) Email us at [e-mail]

It's not worth winning if you can't win! Hello and welcome everybody to the Cake Eaters podcast. We have a very special holiday themed podcast for you today. Heath, this is probably going to be my favorite episode that we ever do. Because we have Marguerite Moreau, who plays Connie Moreau in the original Duck movies. The Velvet Hammer. The Velvet Hammer. The Velvet Hammer. Today we are talking about her 2016 just, you know, classic movie. Should have been award winning.

Hallmark Christmas movie titled Love Always Santa. And Brandon, we are about to fucking jingle bell rock this bad boy right now. We are fired up. It's the most wonderful time of the year i mean yes you are mr hallmark movie right i celebrate christmas in july you do the dang thing i am a sucker for a hallmark christmas movie especially the the um festival known as christmas in july wherever j July they run through all the Christmas movies as well. A huge fan of all of them. I have loved every single Hallmark Christmas movie I think I've ever seen, but I couldn't tell you the name of any of them or any details about them. They

just go in one ear, in one ear, right out the other, you know? You know who can tell you the names, the actors, and the plot lines to all of them, none other than the queen of Hallmark Christmas movies, my mother, Mama D, because Brandon, she crushes those bad boys 365 days a year, to the point where I actually don't care for them too much, because we just always had to watch them. But I did promise her, I called her last night. We spoke on the phone. I promised her that I would be nice to Hallmark Christmas movies. And luckily for her, I didn't have to be forced.

This was actually a great movie. You know, Marguerite crushes it. So I will, yeah, I will say Marguerite does amazing in this. All of the actors are pretty fantastic in it. The plot leaves a lot to be desired. But I will say, like you mentioned this, as far as Hallmark movies go, this is like the top echelon. It's not a great movie, but it's it's the one of the best Hallmark Christmas movies I've ever seen, because a lot of, a lot of them are real tough to get through. A lot of them are just cliche after cliche and there's very little charm to them. Like it can be a real slog to get through this one.

This one was, I thought fun and charming and, you know, it hit all the same cliches and stereotypes that all they all hit, but I think it did it in a it in a more easy to watch way. Absolutely. And before we get into the breakdown, I just want to tell the listeners that if you are looking for this on your streaming devices, you may not find it. It's not always available on the Hallmark streaming, but if you pull up that cable, cable that dvr and you record it you can just watch it back again and again so keep an eye out for it on the hallmark channels it's a great one yeah it's it's not on any uh streaming services or anything like that uh the the way me and heath had to watch

heath did the dvr thing i don't have a fancy DVR, so I had to literally time watch. I had to go on the Hallmark website, and you can search the movie on the Hallmark website, and it'll tell you the next time it's going to play on the Hallmark channel. And so I looked that up, found the time, put it in my calendar, and just had to wait. Just had to wait it out. And then watched it at 8 a.m. Bright and early. Yes, yes. then watched it at 8 a.m. At a bright and early. Yes, yes.

A great time to watch a Christmas movie, 8 a.m. In the middle of November. Yeah, on a Thursday, I think it was. Great stuff. So just wanted to give the listeners out there an opportunity to watch it and follow along but before we get into what is probably going to be one of the greatest breakdowns of the movie of all time because brandon has some keys to give listeners an update on how to find how to track down what will be the best hallmark christmas movies so so yeah so with my mind. Do you want to do the description before we.

Yes. Yeah. Go ahead and hit us. Hit us with the description for Love Always Santa. Love Always Santa. Brandon, we opened the movie. It pans in. We have our young friend, Lily. She's writing a letter to Santa.

She's crossing the T's. She's dotting the I's. And what does she want brandon she wants she doesn't want presents she doesn't want gifts because her favorite book tells her that the greatest greatest gifts of all they can't be wrapped they can't because it's love brandon it's fucking love oh is that is that what is that what she meant i i don't i don't know i'm just kind of projecting my own thoughts and feelings. I do like – because she mentions it's a line from her favorite book, The Christmas Bow, which is a fictional book, not a real book.

Sorry. Sorry for all the fans out there. No need to Google it. We got you. But when she mentions that line, she goes – she says something about not understanding it, not understanding what what the author meant until now now she gets it now she gets it before she just wanted a playstation but now tragedy struck the family brandon and her her dad passed away we don't get the exact details but it was three christmases ago i think they mentioned okay later on in the movie three christmases ago but we don't know what happened to him. Right.

Like you know, maybe an accident or a sudden onset illness. I would imagine based on the way that nobody wants to talk about it ever that it was sudden. But yeah, they don't mention what it was. They don't mention, I don't even think they mentioned his name. Do they, they just call him dad yeah yeah wait there's a couple there's a couple scenes when she's talking to other people not not her daughter uh where she is about to say his name and then she just goes silent which was real weird um but whatever they had some weird force like you know like heartfelt moments but that's all right but

the good news is lily finishes up that letter and while she's finishing up that letter we get our first look at our girl marguerite coming in it was my one of my favorite parts of the movie honestly where there's a great camera work they open and They open and she's putting the turkey in the oven and she's talking to her. She's like, you will not be dry. You will not be bad this year. You are going to be a succulent and delicious turkey. You know, she's going to slow cook bad boy for 36 hours.

36 hours. The part I love. The part I loved about it though, she's talking to the turkey and she's like, you are not going to be bland. And then they zoom out and they show the turkey and there's zero seasoning on that turkey at all there's no chance that turkey is not going to be the blandest thing ever she controls the spice yeah this is not the turkey's fault yeah yeah come on marguerite that's that that was we we

expect a little bit more at least a nice brine You know what I mean I'm gonna need you to help me out here Okay Because like I mentioned I don't remember Anything about any of these movies So what is Marguerite's character's name Do you know Cindy

Cindy I think they say Cindy once Shit we're gonna have to google this for a second because randy calls her it's cindy lulu it's celia is her name celia oh damn i thought cindy leaves i think he was making like a grinch joke yeah yeah randy's full of jokes but yeah so we got celia who is marguerite moreau. And then we have her, her daughter, Lily, who's the one writing the letter. That's what we've got so far. Yeah. Yeah. And so we kind of wrap that up. We've got a great Turkey day.

We've got Lily sending that letter off because, and they show her sending the letter because the, the, the mailman is out front. Celia is a bakery. She owns a cafe. The bun also rises. Excellent. Which is, if you couldn't tell by the name, is an Ernest Hemingway themed cafe slash bakery.

That's the stuff that makes these Hallmark movies gold. Where do you even come up with then? Brilliant Hallmark writer. Unlike Disney, they left no stone unturned for this one. But after the letter gets mailed, we see it kind of getting shipped through the mail, through a montage, and then it ends up at Santa Inc., which is a business that receives

letters to santa and then responds back and in there we have our two favorite ladies um and i forget one of their names but we i know we've got our girl june there who always gets her hearing aids and that's a fun wrinkle i remember these names names. So I remember June and then Esther. June and Esther are the two old ladies who are manning the ship for Santa Inc. Yep. Yep. And then we've got our boy, Jake, who wrote the Christmas bone book. Yes. Yes.

So Jake is the author of the Christmas bow. And then he also. And so he wrote that. I think they mentioned he wrote that a while ago he's recently gone through a divorce june and esther give him a little teasing about that and he has writer's block because of the divorce because of the divorce so he's not writing books right now but to keep kind of the you know the mental writing muscles going he's writing as if he's santa he's writing back to all these kids and it just so happens that

lily whose favorite author her favorite book is christmas bro by jake her santa letter happens to find jake what a what a coincidence he just he snaps awake on the couch and what is sitting on his chest brandon but a letter that just all of a sudden it starts pulling. It starts tugging on those heartstrings so hard. And he just empties his soul into this eight page response. Eight page response. So Lily wrote him a multiple page letter saying my mom is incredibly sad since, since my dad died. Just bring her light back.

Yes, yes. And then Jake responds back. And some of the lines he has in his letter that they have him say are, I mean, they're fantastic. It's beautiful, right? Yeah, it's a beautiful writing. Emotional. Yeah. Eight goddamn pages.

Eight. Although I do have to say, his penmanship Wow It was flawless Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? I have in my notes In Big Bull's letters, terrible handwriting

What? His cursive? That was a delightful cursive No, it was not delightful That was rudimentary Cursive at best Wow, well my cursive. No, it was not delightful. Oh, come on. That was a rudimentary cursive at best. Wow. Well, my cursive accidentally like all gets pushed. I always used to get in trouble in school all the time because I would write like one sentence would look like one long word and like a paragraph would look like one long word that just went for a paragraph. I thought it was great, Brandon.

It was not great handwriting. It was pretty terrible. They used cursive, too? I mean, come on. No one writes in cursive. Being the pretentious fucking writer he is, he's writing in cursive and then he's using he's not using a normal pen. He's using

an old-fashioned ink pen. He has one of those sets. Yeah, he's using uh he's not using a normal pen he's using like an old-fashioned ink pen yeah he has like one of those sets yeah he's just being uh you know that's something that schmidt would have yeah exactly exactly it's just what are those called why am i blanking on what that's called i forget what it is too but but everybody knows what we're talking about so you know he's dipping calligraphy calligraphy set yeah he's dipping the instead Calligraphy. Calligraphy set. Yeah, he's dipping the – instead of like a normal ballpoint pen, like a normal fucking person, he's dipping the tip of his pen into the ink and then writing that way. Just being pretentious for pretentious sake. So I have two things on this, and then we can move on because there's no point in sticking on this. But number one, I feel like that's something that Schmidt would say to the roommates when he comes out of his room, uh, that he has to put money in the douchebag jar for, has anyone seen my calligraphy

set Schmidt jar? Uh, number two, this is, it reminds me of Harry Potter, right. To have their quills and they, they do all their homework on parchment. You know, I was, whenever I listened to those books back, I always think about like how difficult it must have been to like mess up on your homework. You know, start scrolling that parchment all over again, man. Well, Jake does that in later on in the movie when he's trying to write when he hasn't heard from Celia for a couple of days. He's trying to like write another letter to like get her to to start talking again and he does that where he he wrote he writes like a sentence or two and then he's like oh no no that's not how I want to do it so he has to scrap the whole paper and start all over just

killing killing trees left and right and so before that but that's actually a perfect lead-in this is a this is a this movie takes place in present day too Why the fuck are we not emailing Because didn't you hear She says okay so This brings us back So Lily's mom And Jake become pen pals And they're writing back and forth And when she addresses it

To love always Santa That's how he signs off the first letter to Lily is love always Santa. Yeah. And so that's how she tries to address it to him because she felt silly writing it to Santa. And so, but what, what she does is when they become pen pals back and forth, she mentions she feels classic branded.

It's so much better. I wrote tablets in the phones. Yeah. It's so much better Than the tablets and the phones Yeah It's a beautiful line I wrote that line down She says I don't want to use the word giddy Because I don't think that's correct Classic

I feel classic Which like It's two pretentious writers Going back and forth. I bet they both graduated from NYU. No. There's no way they graduated from NYU.

It's facetious, Brandon. Why is NYU your go-to pretentious? I don't know. I just feel like they're probably all dicks. But anyways, so as they're going back and forth, sorry to all of our nyu fans out there yeah we have a we have a big contingent of uh of nyu supporters go buy this sophisticated

podcast that uh brings them in uh but anyway so they're writing these letters back and forth yada yada yada and then all of a sudden stop. Spilling their hearts to each other. They're bonding. Emptying their souls onto the pages of these letters. And they stop. And why do they stop? Because the sister sucks. And we will go on.

We will talk about this soon. Because Cecilia's sister sucks. Yeah. Her sister is the worst. Talk about some alliteration. That's a t-shirt right there. Cecilia's sister sucks. That's too much. But that's why they stop and so the letters stop because her sister talks her out

of being a pen pal back and forth writing to santa because she wants a solid relationship with randy to take place and blossom so i so her sister drives me crazy. I want to talk about this before we move on because her sister's reasoning for her, like not for her to stop writing these letters and to just settle down with Randy is the most bullshit thing ever. It happens all the time, though. Which doesn't make any goddamn sense to me. I don't understand why people like go out of their way to like settle like that like i don't maybe you are indoctrinated at a young age in the midwest that when you grow up graduate college you get married you have babies and if you aren't doing that and you're not following that path then you're weird and you're not doing it right cecilia's already got a baby

though she's done. She popped one out. Good to go. Right off into the sunset. I know, but she says it later in the movie where she just flat out admits that I was a huge asshole. And selfishly, I wanted you to stay here and be miserable with me instead of following your own dreams in your heart. Yes.

And so that's that's that's her motive her sister's motivation is to because her sister in her eyes at this moment she she she has a change of heart later at the end but her sister in her eyes at this moment had to settle for the life she has so she's doing her fucking damnedest to make her sister settle for a life too and i just don't i've never i i get the whole midwest like you're indoctrinated to do all that i just maybe it's the the introvert in like my introverted tendencies to where like i would so much rather be alone than be with somebody i don't want to be with i'm with you right there but like it just i don't know it it was a very shitty thing for her sister to do because it just doesn't make any sense. I don't know.

And like siblings, some siblings are like that, though, right? Where it's like they're weirdly competitive and are always back and forth. My sister and I are four years apart. And so like there was always a little bit of that. Like she babysat me growing up. Right. And so there's always that little bit of like, kind of like almost like a second mom instead of like a sibling back and forth. Cause like when I started middle school, she started high school. When I started high school, she started college, you know? And then I was basically an only child for four years of high school. I still yell at her about that. Yeah. I think because my sister's five years younger than me. So we had the same kind of setup that you and your sister had to where we missed each other and all the schools,

which I think was nice and contributed to like, because I don't have a single ounce of competitiveness with my sister. No way. Yeah. Support like 1 million percent. Like it's's it's only like you i want her to be more successful so she can buy me things you know yeah yeah i like listen like heidi rescued me from a few tight spots in my lifetime you know and if she wouldn't have been out there kicking ass i would have been in trouble you know so like that's and that's why i never understood that because like yeah we like battled back and forth when we were like little little kids because that's what

like little kids do right but once we got older we were kind of like oh cool you do your thing i do my thing yeah i think i think a lot of that has to do with like not being in the same school and not being like so close in age because i think the the competitiveness and i they never really give us like the age difference between Celia and her sister. They seem really close though. Yeah. They seemed like a grade apart,

maybe two grades apart, something like that. Yeah. So, yeah, yeah. I think that kind of, when you're that close,

it can, it can lead to some more competitiveness between siblings, but I mean this, I mean, she takes it beyond competitiveness. She's like actively trying to ruin her sister's life. Yeah, it was really shitty. It reminded me of Bob's Burgers with Linda and I don't know why I'm in Gale.

Linda, do you watch Bob's Burgers at all? Yeah, that's Mr. Business. Yeah. Anyways. OK, so back to the breakdown. So the letters stop. And before the letter, Jake is trying to figure out a response back. And like, how does he get the letters going again?

And before this, his publisher or his agent was kind of trying to get him to go back out and do book signings. And so Jake has a brilliant idea. He looks at the return address from Lily's letter and he's like, Hey, get me a book signing in this small town in Minnesota. Did you see what town it was in Minnesota? Yes. It's a, and it's a real town, real town. It's the great city of Northfield, Minnesota. Northfield. Did you, did you map that at all do you know how close i did to the canadian border or is it close to minneapolis i did not map it um i just know it's a it's a because i read a couple things hold on i read a couple things about the production of the movie and like all the all the business names um because they filmed it in in northfield and so all all the businesses that

they show in there are actual Northfield businesses except for the Bun Also Rises. That was a fake one they added. It was a movie set. Let's see here. Northfield looks like south of Minneapolis.

Okay. St. Paul. Maybe a little closer to mankato uh no so it's it's not so mankato is like south west this one uh northfield's like straight south okay um we're looking oh it's not that far at all yeah we're looking like a 50 minute drive from minne from downtown min downtown Minneapolis to downtown Northfield. Oh, not bad. Not bad at all. Not bad. Well, so our boy Jake, he flies out to Northfield for his book signing.

He flies to Minneapolis, then rents a car and drives. Because the other the other part that they kind of mentioned but don't really mention jake's living in chicago at the at the moment he's in chicago i i i assumed it was like chicago new york philadelphia something like that yeah he's in chicago that's where santa inc is um and that's where he's living and so yeah so they fly for he fly him and his agent who the age the guy who plays the agent uh jay black is actor's name. Also the guy who wrote the movie. Oh, nice. I love that. Just like the ducks. Yeah. That's great. Wait,

did you hear their back and forth as Jake is pulling up to do the signing where he's like, Oh, I knew I should have gotten the insurance on the car because it sounded like, do you think you'll notice? Like, it sounds like they got like, they like sideswiiped someone maybe. And they were debating on whether they leave a note for the insurance. You didn't hear that? I heard like they mentioned insurance, but I didn't, I didn't,

I didn't realize they like sideswiped somebody. That's what I assumed. Cause he's like, do you think they'll notice? I should have gotten the insurance. Well, they do wreck the car later. Yeah. Listeners, if you rent a car, just do the do the insurance man then you don't have to worry you can just if you're renting if you're flying anywhere in the midwest during the winter and you're renting a car suv four-wheel drive suv they rented like a little was it like a toyota i think it was a Toyota. Yeah. Like a sedan, Toyota sedan.

Yeah. They got like the little Hyundai and that is going to go in the snow, you know, every time. Yeah. It's going to end up. Although if those cars now, because they have front wheel drive and a lot of them have like slip traction stuff, they could get through there pretty well. If I can drive from Wayne to Fremont in a full-scale blizzard in a Grand Prix. They should have been fine. Okay. Anyways.

All right. So they fly to Minneapolis because he's doing a book tour, and he's like, you know where we need to do a book tour? Northfield, Minnesota. Yeah, it's going to sell out. And you see a lot of people. There's a ton of fucking people there. It's a jam. The whole fucking town is there.

They showed out big fans. He does the reading. It's a beautiful moment. He meets Lily's mom and they start to flirt back and forth because. Yes. Well, so he meets he he meets Lily first. Lily takes Lily takes him to the the cafe yeah and so hot chocolate so at this at this point in the story jake knows that lily is lily and that his his

her mom is the one she he's been writing to but lily and cecilia don't know that jake is santa or love always santa they don't know he's the one that's been writing to him yes and they keep and he and jake keeps getting interrupted right before he's about to tell them so like he was the bat he was about to do he was about to do the smart thing right off the bat and just be like hey i'm santa and then fucking randy rand my favorite is he introduces himself. He's like, hey, it's Randy with a Y. That set the tone for what a bad mother lover Randy was going to be for the rest of the show.

Randy is... Oh, Randy. One of the scenes, he has a nice, ugly Christmas sweater, too. Whoever did the clothing for this was awesome. you and uh brady smith is the guy who who plays randy he fucking nails it because he's got the he's wearing the weird little christmas sweaters he's got the creepy little mustache going yeah

yeah you know he's he's talking about taking her line dancing he's just like the the most ridiculous like goober that is trying to win cecilia over and it's he is a townie that has never left and have probably considered minneapolis the big city right he's like he's never gotten to a city bigger than minneapolis yes and when we first meet randy at at thanksgiving dinner um at the beginning of the movie he's talking to cecilia and he's like that turkey was amazing if i would have known you would have been such a great cook i would have asked you to prom and then cecilia goes well i would have been in eighth grade at the time and so just like trying to be sweet and like give her a compliment and just fucking turns

himself into a pedophile yeah classic randy randy just has no tact and no like social iq he is not smooth at all oh man like his game is non-existent you know unless it's talking unless it's talking about potato cannons it's got nothing for you and i'm i thank you for calling it a cannon he's thank you yeah it's not a potato gun brandon it's a potato cannon yeah get your shit straight um so they're they're kind of going back and forth. And so they convince Jake to stay for an open mic night at Marguerite's Cafe. And as it's about to be Jake's turn to go up there, he's going to, he's talking. He's ready to, he's about to be usher, Brandon. He's about to deliver his confession.

Did you think that when he said, this is my confession? Yeah. Literally, I was in the kitchen making myself some food, and I was like, these are my confessions. That song came out when I was a senior in high school. The album is fantastic. Oh, it's excellent. And the fact that you dropped part two before part one.

Marketing genius. I mean, listen, Usher was just red hot that year. And that album was unstoppable. I feel like a lot of new people, not new people is not the phrase I was going for. A lot of younger people don't. Technically they are newer.

I think that's a great way to repackage young people. It's like, hey, to all the people that are newer than us out there. But I don't think they understand how important usher was uh during that time like your senior year of high school that would have been like my freshman year maybe eighth grade 2004 baby class of 04 so yeah so that would have been my eighth grade. But yeah, from like my sixth grade to my

junior year, I would say. So that would have been what, 2002 to like 2006. Usher was dominant. He was all anybody was talking about. He was the Bruno Mars. Yeah, he had confessions.

There was, you know, hit after hit. Oh, you had confessions there was you know hit after hit dude oh dude we would uh there was an 18 and over club in norfolk that we would go road trip to we would we would actually just a little insight into how small town youths party but we would road trip to the 18 and over club in norfolk and we would take the back country roads and you would put your case of beer and you would line it up through like, you know, how you can put the cup holders down in the back seat and then you can reach into the trunk. And so you just line it up there. And so if the cops came, you just tip that bad boy up and, you know, hide it. But that's why you took the country roads. You just kind of weasel your way there you're crushing beers rolling up to the 18 and over club

and then yeah comes on as soon as you get in oh my word your boy was throwing down on that dance floor that was back when i was like cool and hip or at least i thought i was cool enough that's probably a very very very key Key thing to note there Is that I thought I was very hip and cool For Wayne, Nebraska You were probably hip and cool I was nice

You were a small town hip You were the Randy Except I got out Probably too much the Randy. Except I got out. Probably too much. Too much. Now I can't stay in one place for longer than that. But anyways, we're a little left off field there again.

So we're at open mic night. Jake's getting ready to confess again. And then he gets interrupted by Randy again. Yeah. And then he gets interrupted by Randy again. Yeah. And then Randy comes flying in there. Comes in hot.

Very rudely takes over. Cuba. Yeah. Rudely shoes Jake off the stage. And then he's going to propose. You think he's going to propose? He gets down on one knee again because he's not smooth. He doesn't understand any social cues. But instead of proposing with a

ring and asking her to marry him he tells cecilia i want to take you to cuba because previously we got some insight that that was a thing for her and her husband brandon break it down about it so her so when jake comes to the coffee shop the first time he starts talking to her about the menus and the name of the store and all the Ernest Hemingway puns she has. That's when she gives you some backstory of her and her deceased husband

were huge Hemingway fans and they did trips that were Hemingway based. And so one of the ones that they didn't get to do before he passed away was go to Cuba. Which makes sense because I believe at that time you couldn't travel to and from Cuba. Yeah, it was tough. It was tough.

But if anybody could figure it out, it's the Velvet Hammer. That's true. She would drop the hammer on people trying to prevent her from getting their customers back but yeah so randy jumps in and then when that all happens jake is like oh boy you know i thought they only went on one date but it looks a lot more serious and we're going to cuba they're going to cuba but before that you know he was going to proofread lily's book because that's how him and her were bonding he was gonna she wants to be a writer so he was gonna get her a deal right and so he left her a note that said no

notes the book's great or whatever the fuck it said love jake you know kind of hinting wink wink on the same paper did he write love always jake or just love jake oh love always jake that's yeah okay yeah you're right sorry i always forget the love yeah so so so that happens he leaves the note for lily then while this before the cuba thing happens uh cecilia marguerite she is she's having uh reservations about not writing back to love always santa she's like i need to write one more letter before christmas so she writes a letter and she goes up to the postman um who we've had a couple interactions with during this movie and it's like hey i know it's christmas eve but do you think this could get delivered by tomorrow and this is the postman gives a really weird like uh like

nod wink like implication that he's like like the magic like her fairy godmother or something like that because he sees the he gets the letter from him sees jake's coat hanging up in the corner and the look he gives is so he knows that that love always santa is jake somehow they don't ever fucking explain that i'm convinced he's magic he's got to be a magic postman right he is santa claus okay so only explanations for how he would know it's fucking jake so the first time i watched the movie i i must have been like looking down and taking a bite of food or something because i missed the mailman putting the letter into jake's pocket and i was, how in the actual F did this guy get the letter? The post office does not work that way. Like, have you not seen the delays right now? Like the post office is the worst. That's why people love UPS. And I was like, and so I ran it back this morning and I was like,

like, I was gearing up for this whole rant about like how that didn't make any damn sense and it was just because i for the one moment in time i wasn't paying attention missed a very key part in the movie so yeah yeah but so he puts the the letter in jake's pocket and then so then jake leaves town because because the whole cuba thing he's he's embarrassed he's like i need it we just need to go home. This was a bad idea. So him and Hank, who's his agent, start driving back to the airport. They're driving.

We know Hank is not good at driving in the snow. No, this is where they wreck the car. So they wreck the car on the way to the airport in the middle of nowhere. They break into some person's barn. Yeah, some poor farmer in the middle of Minnesota. Whose farm is littered with Christmas decor and Christmas presents. And it's got Christmas lights and a Christmas tree up in an abandoned barn. As all abandoned barns in the Midwest do, Brandon.

Exactly. If you haven't learned this from all of the christmas hallmark movies you watch christmas spirit is fucking born in the midwest it is it is nested in the midwest and as christmas spirit hatches from the eggs in the midwest it migrates south that's how christmas spirit works i couldn't have said it better myself so you better myself so they break into this barn and they spend the night there uh just to get away from the cold and then the next morning they're trying to you know get the next plane out um and this is when hank the agent um is looking for the their previous plane tickets and he finds the letter for marguerite and up until now he's

been a little cautious he's been like why are we doing this you know you barely know this girl you need to do this he reads the pound would be weird he reads the letter she sent to him and he has a complete turn he's like we need to go back this is this is the love of your life let's fucking do this um because because then he got so in the midst of all this you also uh have uh he's talking with randy yeah about about the potato cannon yeah and the book tour he wants to get a book deal done for randy about his potato cannon and so he he's talking to randy and get more information on and so that's when he tells jake they're not in love they've only been on one fucking date yeah you're fine go ruin their relationship it's not even a

relationship you're not going to be the bad guy you're not the the other woman like jake yeah yes um but so uh the the car's wrecked so they don't know what to do uh jake ends up finding uh is a one horse open sleigh yeah the agent finds the one horse open sleigh while jake is getting a white scarf around his face in a full red suit yes and so he takes the the one horse open sleigh back to town to try to to get uh to win cecilia over yeah and while yeah well all of that is happening. You have Cecilia and Lily are having some breakthroughs in regards to the dead dad.

Right. Yeah. It's a real emotional breakthroughs that they needed to have. They're talking, they're processing, they're moving on. Yes. And Lily brings up,

there's a tradition that they always did all three of them where they would go to the wishing well. Yeah. She mentions this like way earlier in the movie too, but then they start talking about it more seriously now. And Lily brings up there's a tradition that they always did, all three of them, where they would go to the wishing well. She mentions this like way earlier in the movie, too, but then they start talking about it more seriously now. And she's like, I want to go back to the wishing well. So her and Cecilia are like, let's go back to the let's go back to the wishing well. Meanwhile, it's a blizzard, right? You can't drive the car because it's a fucking blizzard. Yeah. So get it out cecilia calls on the neighborhood hero

otherwise known as mike sullivan and so mike sullivan that was a fun storyline right so so mike sullivan and lily have kind of had this like elementary school romance going on in the background yes lily mentions like two or three times about how she has a crush on mike sullivan and they run into each other at one of the winter festivals at the christmas fair they run it we we did skip over the the ferris wheel almost kiss that oh yeah and jcad but whatever it's fine we're we're skipping through this real quick yeah um it's it's it's it's the same plot as every other hallmark it really it really was my i was telling my well my one of my senior managers about how we were going to break down this movie and she was

like okay so what part of this plot line does it follow and she basically oh yeah yeah nailed it crushed it um but yeah so lily mentions a couple times that mike sullivan is the kid at school he she has a crush on um and mike sullivan being the hero of the neighborhood happens to have a snowmobile and a badass obviously yeah it's a fucking eight-year-old kid who has like a legit like badass fucking snowmobile that he rides over on and then he lets them so he lets them uh take the snowmobile to the wishing well and my favorite part is lily's like wait we're just gonna leave mike sullivan at our house while we take the snowmobile and go away and cecilia's like yeah mike you can stay here the kitchen is full and

he's like ah say no more i'm ready yeah could you imagine you guys go have mountain dews in the fridge some cheeto pups and she she owns a cafe she's probably got baked goods in there oh my goodness the cookies and milk oh my word like great trade for mike oh yeah dude because you've got cookies you've got probably got cupcakes you probably have like oh dude, you know like the cookies where you put like the big chip in the middle? Oh, yeah. Oh, man. Those were always the best. And Mama D makes some next level

scotcheroos. Okay. That's, you know, it's scotcheroos. We always did soup during Christmas time, though. That was, because it's it was like negative degrees and usually like really cold. So we always had soups.

I was a little chicken noodle, a little chili. Even for like Christmas dinner, you just chow down on soups. Well, we do soups on Christmas Eve and then Christmas Day we do like turkey. It's like Thanksgiving times two. The second Thanksgiving. Interesting. Interesting. Not a big soup guy. It's like Thanksgiving times two Second Thanksgiving Interesting Not a big sleep guy One year I went to

The Return of the King In theaters on Christmas Eve With the boys Pretty fucking cool Me not realizing That the movie was going to be like Three and a half hours long, got home.

Mama D was just on one because I was about to, we were about to miss church because I had to run home, put on the slacks really quick and we had to get out the door, but man, worth it. What a movie. It's about time for my quarterly rewatch anyway anyway so mike sullivan's chilling at home they're taking the snowmobile they go to the wishing well they're having a heartfelt moment and then jake here's the climax of the movie jake comes riding in on his one horse open sleigh he over the fields he goes laughing all the way brandon and so also also at the at this point, again, I'm trying to give the plot so fast that I'm skipping over some major things.

Lily, from the letter that Jake gave her that said, love always Jake, she was able to deduce based on handwriting that Jake was Santa. And the paper. Yes. The handwriting and the paper. And the fancy paper um so she tells cecilia in the midst of them like going through the catharsis of the of the dead dad yeah um she's like hey by the way jake was santa and that you know so that so they know he's santa at this point they're at the wishing well he shows up on the one horse sleigh gives the

spiel about how you know how much he loves her. Yeah. Sorry, I didn't tell you right away. I tried. I love you and I love Lily and I love her. Long story short, they fall in love. Right. They have the kiss.

Lily signs off. She's on board. We're we're happily, happily dating now. Right. And then they ride off on the one horse open sleigh, leaving Mike Sullivan snowmobile at the fucking wishing well. Now Mike's got to go back and get that. Yeah. Like that was a really fucked up moment because that was the thing that,

that of that, that climax of the movie. That was the thing that stuck with me, not the kiss, not the happy ending, but poor goddamn Mike Sullivan is going to have to walk all the way to the wishing well and get his fucking snowmobile. And obviously it's not just right down the road.

If you're taking a one horse open sleigh to and from. Also, huge plot hole. Some dude from the, a rider from Chicago is not going to be able to hop into a one horse open sleigh and drive that bad boy to and from multiple locations. I don't know, man. I don't know. I'm giving all credit to the horse and none to Jake. Well, I mean, because you just have to snap the reins and then the horse

takes it from there, but you still have to steer it because he's going to have to take turns getting into town. That horse knows where he's going. Oh, my. Lily's mom's house Brandon don't Don't at me With Jake can ride the fucking

One horse open sleight man I'm saying he can't because the horse Is doing all the work The horse knows where it's going But the GPS Trip from the farm Back into town He's not going straight down the road.

No, but the horse knows where it's going. But eventually he's going to have to turn. And like the horse isn't going to know how to get to Lily's mom's house. No, that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying is the horse knows how to get to Lily's mom's house. The horse is doing all of it. No. Damn it, Brandon.

No. If the postman can be magic, the horse can be all of it no i damn it brandon no god if the postman can be magic the horse can be magic okay okay all right jeez but that's driving that sleigh that's the movie though that's that's the end happy ending happy fucking end but like okay so rewinding it all the way back at first i was very skeptical i text you while I was watching this movie, and I was like, Brandon, I don't know if I'm going to be able to get through this. This has kind of got a little bit of a rough start. But by the halfway point, I text you back, and I was like, you know what? They won me over, tried and true.

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They also plant a tree in Boulder, Colorado for every product sold. Visit BrokenForestCo.com and use the code CakeEaters15 for 15 off your order i knew we were in for an above average to great uh hallmark christmas movie just from the first like five minutes oh because it's time it's time all right so we have summed up the movie we know what it's all about brandon you have the five keys yes to for for listeners get this part recorded before five keys to a great hallmark before we do that before i was so really interrupted i want to say i knew we were in for a good hallmark movie from the first five minutes because of the acting because the girl the the girl who plays lily her name is isadora swan okay oh that's a nice thing great great child actress

she kills it she fucking nails it yeah and then marguerite is a fantastic actress um just them two carrying the movie because you can tell right right away when some of these these actors in these movies have no business like carrying the lead role here um but these two the the girl who plays lily and then marguerite they crushed it they were both fantastic and so regardless of the plot line the acting was way better than you normally get these hallmark movies yeah sometimes these hallmark movies the acting really turns the line to like the hr movies you know like the hr harassment videos sometimes these hallmark movies really bump up against those hr videos okay but so so uh yeah so i'll give you the five i have the five keys to a good hallmark

christmas movie all right if you're watching a a Hallmark Christmas movie and it has all five of these things, you're in for a fucking treat. Okay? Alright. Alright. I love this. So, number one, first thing right off the bat is the setting. Okay? It's got to be a small town. Yep. Okay. Preferably

in the Midwest. Yep. And or northern states. So, like, you can get away with a New York, a Maine, preferably in the Midwest and or Northern, Northern States. So like you can get away with a New York, a Maine, that kind of stuff. If you're not in the Midwest or Northern state, like you can set,

you can set one of these movies in like Florida or Texas on the, with the one thing being the town in Florida or Texas has to be Christmas themed. Oh, gotcha. There's a town like that north of atlanta yes and so so you a german town well no it's got to be more than just uh more than just that that's that's just german themed that's not really christmas they have like a whole christmas festival yeah but if you're gonna put it in florida it has to be in like santa claus florida okay or like the town has to be called christmas texas you know north pole arizona yes something like that so it's gotta and it has to be a small town

okay has to be a small town like what what do you think in like population no greater than 5 000 no you can get a little bit bigger than that i would say north northfield the town they're in now being how close it is to minneapolis that's as big as you can get though that's about as big as you can get maybe like 10 15k the population isn't so much the problem i think it's the proximity to a big city the farther away you can get you can bump the population up you know um but you just you can't be anywhere near a big city gotcha okay yeah one uh one is location and six small town small town two is dead family member if you've got a if you've got a dead husband a dead dad dad, a dead mom, if we're if we're grieving and overcoming the loss of a loved one, sign me up.

All right. Because because that is going to bring the drama, the plot line, like, you know, that Christmas spirit is about to get sprinkled all up in this bitch. Exactly. OK. Number three is you need a recognizable lead actress i i have they have to have been in something that i've seen before like hayley duff or um the girl who played dj in full house she's in a bunch of these that's good yeah um so somebody like that like connie connie from the Ducks One of the girls in Ne-Girls She's in a ton of those now I forget which one it is

Not the blonde one Not Gretchen But the other one No it is Gretchen Isn't Gretchen the one that Parents invented Pop-Tarts Or Dad invented Pop-Tarts Gretchen's the mean one No Gretchen the one that's parents invented Pop-Tarts or dad invented Pop-Tarts?

Gretchen's the mean one. No, Gretchen's not the mean one. Oh, she's not? No. Oh. Now you're. I'm getting my wires crossed. I know.

Now you got me second guessing everything. It's Gretchen. It's the lady who plays Gretchen. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, she's in a bunch. Yeah, that's perfect. Recognizable lead actress I have to at least see her face And be like, what else is she in?

You know, I need that Lacey Chabert It's probably French, so it's like Chabert Chabert? Something like that I'm just really fucking this part up Just real hard

She played Gretchen, right? just real hard she played Gretchen right yeah she did play Gretchen Wieners and she is in a mountain of Hallmark movies so number three is a notable actress recognizable I don't have to know who she is

I just have to look at her and be like what do I know her from she's on something okay and then so number four I have to look at her and be like, what do I know her from? She's on something. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. And then, so, so number four is the side character face turn at the end. Okay. And this movie, this movie, we have two, we have Randy who you're rooting against because you want Jake to win at the

end. He has a, like a nice heartfelt moment with celia where he's like i get it like we're not each other's soulmates yeah um it's a nice like little heart so you're like okay randy gets it you know i like randy now yeah and then the sister has a has a face turn at the end too where she's not a fucking bitch anymore yeah um the antagonist suddenly becomes yeah just a just a the the the person you've been rooting against the whole movie it doesn't have to be like a complete face turn to where like they're your favorite character now but it's just like you're not rooting against them anymore just

a slight you know like the mean lady who's trying to like block the do whatever from happening in the small town at the end you find out you know she's not that she's not that bad yeah you know yeah she she ends up like like stephanie like what stephanie does in the game yes where exactly at the end she was you know she was the bad guy bad guy bad guy but at the end you know you emphasize that because clark was a douche the whole time yes and she sees the error of her ways yeah yep the grinch moment right where her heart grew three sizes that day exactly so that's number four okay you need a side character face turn okay and number five this is this is one of the bigger ones okay

i would say yeah this was not in order i guess I probably should have put them in order of importance. But number five, this is a big one, okay? Okay. So this is throughout the movie, they either need to, it's one of the two. They either need to be breaking a curse or restarting a tradition. Okay. Wow. Okay. And, like, restarting the tradition breaks the curse right yeah something

along those lines like breaking a curse i i'm because some of these like there's like you know ghosts involved in some of these and so like that that's what i'm thinking when i was like breaking the curse is like you're you know they're you break whatever is keeping them there and they're able to you know pass on to the whatever you know yeah yeah um like like scrooge type stuff yes exactly yeah and or restarting the tradition so like in in love always santa it's the wishing well they go back to the wishing well and they and they cast the coin into the well and that's when jake comes up dressed like a Santa impersonator on the one horse open sleigh. And that's wow. Brandon.

So if you had those are the five, if you have all five of those in one movie, you're golden. It's going to be a great movie. Wow. That is. That's a great analysis of Hallmark movies. Yeah. That's the formula. And it's perfect timing.

Now people know what to look for. Yeah. Coming this holiday season. Yeah. Wow. Need to make that into a shirt. I would say, because I didn't put these in order of importance. In order of importance, I'm going to put Small Town number one.

Yeah. That's got to be the top priority if you turn on a christmas movie and it's in miami florida shut that thing off right now it's gonna be garbage two i'm gonna say recognizable lead actress gotta have your hayley done three i'm gonna say breaking a curse restarting a tradition there's there needs to be some talk of we used to do this or we can't do that anymore or something like that along like the the spirit of the grinch has taken over the town and with this one act christmas spirit has been able to flow back through our souls again exactly you. You need some of that. And then

four would be dead family member. Don't let your dead dad down. A lot of that. Exactly. Don't let your dead dad down. A lot of the dead, I would say dead family member and breaking curse slash reciting tradition go hand in hand. Usually if

you have one, you got another. You have the other. And then the least important number five would be side character face turn that's that's at the bottom of the list but because it doesn't have to happen but generally it does because it gives you exactly the warm feels all across that's that's what sets a good movie a good christmas movie from a great christmas movie is the it's the face turn yeah because at the end that just wraps it all up for one puts a nice little bow a tidy bow of happiness yes oh man a christmas bow oh wow it's beautiful so wow i don't i just i don't even know where else we could go from here brandon well there's a couple more things i want to talk about about this movie we did we did we did we tried to do a real quick

synopsis i don't know how quick it was it wasn't not at all but um so a couple things we glossed over that i want to talk about is the letters okay they're writing jake and cecilia writing the letters back and forth Yes I'll let you go But before you go It drove me nuts When he said that she was writing Two to three letters a day Two to three letters a day

From Minnesota to Chicago There's at least two scenes I think where the postman Is handing Cecilia letters And he hands her multiple. Like three or four. And he's like, oh, these are all for you. Wow.

That's four different conversations you're having at the same time. How? What? Didn't make any goddamn sense. The letter stuff started really going off the rails. Because eventually you're just going to start texting. Yes. And I am glad that the letters stopped halfway through the movie and then they just they brushed it to the side they're like this is we don't need this anymore it's how it it's how it got things kick-started right and it was a good driver of the plot line but yes once

the the letters i'm glad they stopped you yes it just didn't The post office is not that efficient Well The postman is magic though We've established that He's either magic or he's fucking Santa Claus Okay Santa postman I'll give you that The other thing about the letters

That was driving me crazy And for any big movie buffs Out there it's the same issue That I have with The great Keanu Reeves, Sandra Bullock movie, The Lake House, when they're exchanging letters back and forth because they do the same thing. So when they're exchanging letters back and forth, they're also doing voiceovers of what the people are saying. And, oh, it drives me crazy. So they, they do it. So, so we've established the writing four letters a day, but, and this explains why I guess that they're writing four letters a day, because one of the letters is just one line of dialogue. Because they, they're like having the voiceover and their voiceovers is, are having conversations with each other, one line at a time. That's not how letters work yeah

that's a text message and or an actual in-person conversation that's not how letters work why would you write a letter with one line in it the letter system was beyond flawed but it did that plus the montage did move the plot line along very quickly. Yes. It did what it needed to do in that it got them talking. It got them to know each other. Yeah. On a deep level. Yes. Like love

is blossoming. That way when he flies to Minneapolis to meet her, you're not. This is a desperate act of a creep. Yeah. You're not as weird as a desperate act of a creep. Yeah, you're not as weirded out as you probably should be. Yeah. Just a little bit of light stalking here to round out the movie. Do you want to give Randy a shot?

Randy with a Y. We already talked about him a little bit, but we can just, the potato cannon, the book deal for the potato cannon, his ugly Christmas sweatersers you know the the ultimate like small town townie and randy i do love eastern at the end oh yeah his face turn at the end was great because i and i love the line when he so he shows up to the house he knocks on the door and he's carrying a huge box of stuff and he's like hey cecilia i just i understand we're over you don't want to go to cuba or whatever so here's all your stuff back and cecilia goes randy we've been on like two dates i don't have any stuff at your house

and he goes oh i guess it's just a box of stuff i don't want anymore then yeah he just leaves a huge box full of junk at her house and for no reason for no it doesn't do anything for the plot line it made no sense why that whole interaction was in there but it was it was there to justify him showing up oh yeah you're right okay you're right you're right you're right then that's where he gives his whole speech about Like I understand that We're not each other's soulmates I will find mine Out there at a book signing About my potato gun Potato cannon

And then part of his speech Is talking about the sister Helen and her husband Greg So Randy and Greg Are the ones who were building the potato cannon. Greg is married to Helen, Cecilia's sister.

Randy, during his speech, is like, I realized we're not soulmates because Greg was talking about Helen. He described her as waking up every morning to a new truck. That was such a great analogy.

I wake up and I go outside and it's like, Oh, new truck. Yeah. And he's like, Randy is like, and you know, Cecilia, me and you, we're just, we're not each other's new truck. And I get that. I get that. But so in like, you know, talking about how much Greg loves Helen, Helen overhears all this because she's in the the same room with him and so that leads to helen's face turn where she realizes hey my life isn't terrible my husband actually loves me you know maybe i should stop trying to actively ruin everybody else's life to make me feel better fucking helen dude dude and she she really was like the absolute worst yeah you know

just that you're supposed to support your sibling it's like banks's dad all over again yeah exactly you know and her reasoning that she gave was just so stupid. She was talking about her husband died. You're being so selfish. What is wrong with you? You've already won. Your life's better. Your husband didn't die. Hang the banner, Helen.

You won. Oh, by the way, got a dope trophy of a fork with a potato on it from the competition that she won. Yeah. So the sister just rubbed me the wrong way the whole entire movie. Yeah. She was a garbage human being. Yeah. Even at the end when she, like, came around to Greg, you were kind of like, yeah, okay.

Yeah. Greg deserves better. Yeah. Someone that's gonna well i don't know greg like during thanksgiving he was being like one of those guys that doesn't actually engage with anyone he just focuses on the football game yeah i mean he was thinking about his potato cannon you know yeah well that's true that's true it's a big competition yeah he's got competitions to win this time for fucking thanks come on um and then you know we also we've

talked about him a little bit but your boy mike sullivan mike sullivan what else do you have to say about mike sullivan brandon i just feel bad that his fucking snowmobile got left out there that was the most heartbreaking thing of this whole movie especially because he is nothing but a giver to lily just exactly giver gi giver, giver. Because they mention his name like two or three times throughout the movie. He draws the illustrations for all of her stories. That's where he first comes up. And that is non-negotiable for her book signing contract. I forgot about that.

Yeah, I forgot about that. That's one of Jake's like first note to her about her book is like, what can we do about these illustrations? And Lily goes, those are Mike Sullivan's drawings. They are non-negotiable. Yeah. He stays. Okay.

Mike Sullivan stays. Yeah. I love it. Good kid. That's one of those good kids you want your daughter today. You know, all the dads out there, Brandon Parenting Corner, you know, want your daughter today All the dads out there Find your daughter a nice Mike Sullivan Raise your son

As a Mike Sullivan That's all the way around Raise gentlemen out there Raise them to be characters From Lord of the Rings They laugh, they cry, they sing together And please For the love of God Buy your son a snowmobile lord of the rings they're vulnerable they laugh they cry they sing together yes and please for the love of god buy your son a snowmobile not dangerous just cool that's it um that's that's

i think that's mike sullivan's uh tagline not dangerous just cool yeah Not dangerous. Just cool. Yeah. It's like his Instagram little thing, right? Yeah, his Tinder bio. Yeah, Tinder. Oh, man. He's swiping like crazy in Minneapolis. I can tell you that. Oh, did you want to the Ernest Hemingway puns?

Oh, yeah. The Ernest Hemingway cafe was. Oh, yeah. The Ernest Hemingway cafe was a lot for me. It was too much. I don't know what demographic those jokes were for, but they didn't land. I don't think they were for... Yeah, they...

I mean, Ernest Hemingway... You can't really do Ernest Hemingway puns. I guess that was his joke. Yeah, his style of writing Ernest Hemingway puns. I guess that was a joke. Yeah, his style of writing doesn't lend itself to puns because it's so wordy and fucking, you know,

like the bun also rises. That's the best one that you can do. Outside of that, like what was the old man and the tea? That's too long of a name for somebody just to order tea right like the one the the oh uh was it dillaman jarrow yeah dillaman dillaman dillaman jarrow yeah but yeah they're just they're too long for restaurant puns you know restaurant puns need to be short and quick.

Ah, man. I don't know. I love. They also, they also bonded. So they bonded over Ernest Hemingway. And they also in the letters that they were running back and forth, they bonded over TS Elliot. Did you hear that too?

Oh, yep. Yep. You're right. Yeah. A bunch of's the most pretentious people ever. It sets him up as kind of a pretentious writer.

I mean, I love Ernest Hemingway and I love T.S. Eliot, but for you to bond over letters talking about T.S. Eliot, come on, guys. Listen, I'm not going to sit here and talk about literary works because my you know tolkien that's that's what i got that's all you got i thought you were gonna list it well i mean

tolkien jk rowling you know like it's i've listened to a lot of that kind of stuff although um patrick rothfuss with the Kingkiller Chronicles Can we get the fucking third book already Man it's been a decade Ten years Brandon I don't even know what any of those words meant Well the Kingkiller Chronicles is a great Supposed to be

Trilogy The third book has It's been ten years since the second book came out Yeah so Anyways Lots of great puns but The third book, it's been 10 years since the second book came out. Yeah. So anyways, lots of great puns. But as I don't really have too much else, right? Like this is a great Christmas. But I think we can wrap it up with awarding Marguerite with the golden cakey for best performance golden cakeys you know we got

to bust it out best performance best actor best parent i mean she crushed it from beginning to end she did she was fantastic in this movie and like i said this movie is far and away one of the best hallmark christmas movies out there um I highly recommend it, especially this time of year. I highly recommend anybody to watch it, especially if Christmas movies are your thing. This is one of the Hallmark Christmas movies to watch because a lot of them are not going to be anywhere near this good. No.

Get this bad boy on your DVR, you know, heart. If you, if you can find a way to watch it, cause it was, it's a, it's a struggle to find a way to watch this movie,

but if you can't find a way, I suggest you do it. You'll have a Holly jolly Christmas. That's for sure. Thanks for listening, everyone. Please remember to follow and like us on Instagram at TheCakeEatersPod, on Twitter at TheCakeEaters. Also reach out to us via email, TheCakeEatersPod at gmail.com or visit our website, TheCakeeaterspod.com.