The Cake Eaters - 26. Con Air (MC Gainey & Jeannie Epper)

Episode Date: March 1, 2022

Heath & Brandon discuss the absolutely dysfunctional production of Con Air, good old-fashioned testosterone-driven action, our favorite Nic Cage movies, the lack of teamwork between government age...ncies, a return of Brandon's Parenting Corner, and then break down the 90s classic, Con-Air, staring our boy MC Gainey. Follow us at www.thecakeaterspod.com and on Twitter (@thecakeeaters) and Instagram (@thecakeeaterspod) Email us at thecakeeaterspod@gmail.com

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Remember, it's not worth winning if you can't win! What's up guys, My name's Brandon. And I'm Heath. And we're the hosts of the Cake Eaters podcast. Heath, I got a couple questions for you. What are those, Brandon? Number one, do you enjoy movies? Sure do, Brandon.
Starting point is 00:00:38 Number two, do you enjoy planes? Sure do, Brandon. Number three, and this is the most important, Heath, do you enjoy convicts? Sure don't know how to answer that question, Brandon. Number three, and this is the most important, Heath. Do you enjoy convicts? Sure don't know how to answer that question, Brandon. Well, I'm going to pretend you said yes, because we have a great fucking episode for you today, Heath, if all three of those things are right up your alley. And that is the 1997 classic Con Air.
Starting point is 00:01:02 And for those not familiar, the con in Con Air refers to convicts on a plane. Wow. In the air. Brandon, our tray tables are up. Our seat belts are fastened. Our seats are in a full upright position.
Starting point is 00:01:21 And I think we're ready to go. We're ready to fly. What's the in-flight movie today do you remember do you remember the line from the movie yeah what he asked oh dang it it was like right on the tip of my tongue too son of a biscuit i was it was right there i'll tell you what it is so so john malgovich asked what the in-flight movie is for the the con airplane and the guard goes oh yeah, I think you're going to enjoy it, Cyrus. It's a little thing called never going to have sex with a woman on a beach ever again.
Starting point is 00:01:52 Yeah, that's right. Oh, man, that guard was a real dick. I love how he puts on a beach. It's not just never going to have sex with a woman ever again. It's never going to have sex with a woman on a beach. Real specific. gonna have sex with a woman ever again it's never gonna have sex with a woman on a beach real specific i feel like that would get real sandy and you know real rough it's it's not ideal now you gotta it's that's that's something that you gotta that's takes a lot of planning and foresight you know you gotta you gotta bring the right blanket yeah you gotta know you gotta know
Starting point is 00:02:22 beforehand what you're getting into you have to expect a little scene it's like when you take like beer to a beach you you just got to expect a little sand where you don't want it yeah that's that's true but you got to be careful with location too because if you're trying to sneak back in the sand dunes at least out here where we live that's snake breeding ground and you can get a little bite on your tush and the sand dunes yeah that's i i don't know if yeah i don't know if you're having sex on a beach it needs to be like a tropical beach you can't be doing it in sand dunes well i mean you know not everyone has access to tropical beach some of us have access to a regular beach then you're just never gonna have sex with a woman on a beach that's just something you you got to come to grips with.
Starting point is 00:03:05 All right. Well, now that you've burst my bubble, Brandon, let's go ahead and jump into this episode. Because first, let's explain to the listeners why we are breaking down this amazing movie. This is a Mighty Ducks theme podcast. So you might be thinking to yourself, why are we talking about Con Air today? And I'm going to give you two very specific reasons he's number one is our boy mc gainey podcast babe lewis the uh the limo slash bus driver or van driver from slash heart slash soul slash assistant coach yeah um from the the movie he's slash bombay's best friend.
Starting point is 00:03:46 Yeah. Slash equipment guy. You know he's helping with that equipment coming in and out. So Louis, MC Ganey is in this movie. He plays Swamp Thing. Yeah. Oh, love that. Do they mention his actual name or do they just it's just his code name? I know there's some people
Starting point is 00:04:02 just his code name. I think he's just Swamp Thing, except that also could have just been me because as soon as they said swamp thing i was like oh hell yes because i i mean super random quick thought but there was like a swamp thing tv series in the 90s and i had some of those toys and so i got into swamp thing for just like a second you know just just dipped your toes in just just quick dip of the toes and they were the same size as my wcw action figures and so swamp thing had a lot of battles like my two swamp things would have a lot of battles sting and flying brian pillman you know oh okay yeah i was gonna i was gonna ask so he was fighting
Starting point is 00:04:43 sting it was brought yeah was brian pillman wcw or is he always ww okay i was i was gonna ask you if swamp thing ever won the intercontinental title but that that's the wcw would be was he ever united states champion uh no he was not he was a bad guy there was only the good guys won oh you want to want it's okay okay yeah yeah except yeah except sometimes my boy million dollar man would hold on to that million dollar championship well naturally yeah it's just a title I met him once at a
Starting point is 00:05:14 Houston Comic Con we had a great time talking some Husker football great guy shout out Ted DiBiase is he from Nebraska yeah Omaha roots for the family there for the DBS. That's tight. Yeah. Shout out million dollar man. I don't know if you remember me from 10 years ago.
Starting point is 00:05:36 He's an avid listener of the podcast. Yeah. Huge fan. Huge fan. He reaches out all the time. Can't keep him out of my email. All right. Anyways. So that that's that's one connection is our boy mc gainey yes and the main reason we're we were we were doing con air and then in in doing con air we also found a second connection yes that is uh the great actress slash stunt woman genie epper okay um she's a shout out genie she's literally i guarantee you any movie That you can kind of think of off the top of your head
Starting point is 00:06:06 She's done the stunts for Well probably not any movie Her stunt credits are ridiculous And then she's also an actress She's been an actress in a bunch of stuff too So she did stunts For the Mighty Ducks, the original Mighty Ducks movie Love that
Starting point is 00:06:21 She's also doing stunts for Con Air What are some of the other ones? Double Connection. Stunt-wise, she did Kill Bill Vol. 2, Fast and Furious, Tokyo Drift, Too Fast, Too Furious.
Starting point is 00:06:37 Son of a gun. We got some high-rolling movies right here. Oh, yeah. She did The Amazing Spider-Man. That's the first one with Andrew Garfield. Nice. Catch Me If You Can, Minority Report.
Starting point is 00:06:53 I loved Catch Me If You Can. I don't know. That was once we're being done in Orange County, but that's a great one, too. Oh, I mean, the shenanigans were out of the out Orange County. One of Jack Black's finest right there. And wasn't that Tom Hanks' son that was in that? Yeah, Colin Hanks. Yeah. But yeah, so she's so many stunt movies or so many stunts in movies.
Starting point is 00:07:17 She's, you know. And then she was also an actress in Kill Bill Vol. 2. She was. Oh, I just noticed this too. Uncredited role in The Mighty Ducks. Nice. Guess who she was. Guess which extra
Starting point is 00:07:33 uncredited extra she was in The Mighty Ducks. Connie? No, which uncredited extra. Oh, uncredited extra. Sorry. I don't know. I went blank. Was she on the cardinals she's the woman in the mall shut the front door she's the woman that gets taken out in the mall that is awesome so that's
Starting point is 00:07:58 the stunt she did she did her own stunt good for her did her own stunt oh good for her because i was worried about that old lady we talked about that oh that's awesome yeah those are fun tie-in those are our two connections to con air is uh genie epper and uh our boy mc gainey shouldn't before we move on we didn't get into the swamp thing character too much before we keep moving forward should we dive into his character do we want to circle back in a minute we can dive in if yeah talk about our boy MC Ganey so he comes in kind of halfway through the movie yeah maybe
Starting point is 00:08:33 a third but he is he's the backup pilot he's the Cyrus and the convicts they stop it they have to make a stop at Carson City. Yeah. So I guess what an entrance he makes when he's walking out in between the guards and he's just hair flowing in the breeze.
Starting point is 00:08:57 Oh, my gosh. It is just a beautiful entrance as he comes walking in. And Cyrus is just salivating at his new. Yes, he's Cyrus is pretty much. Well, not his right hand man, because that's kind of Diamond Dog. Diamond Dog's the right hand man. But he's he's MC Ganey Swamp Thing is third in command and pilot. Yeah, man.
Starting point is 00:09:21 And he just absolutely crushes it. Because as soon as he gets in that cockpit he starts just doing some fancy wiring and he's getting a transponder pulled out of there yeah yeah yeah they pulled the the is it called the transponder oh yeah the the location device or whatever yep exactly but yeah mc gainey uh real clutch coming in for the the pilot for the second half of this um he does some pretty crazy uh landings oh yeah he crash lands in the in the middle of the desert and then he also crash lands on the las vegas strip which is we'll get into that that part always because that's one of my favorite parts that
Starting point is 00:10:03 part always cracks me up because on the over the walkie-talkie they'll get the guys are like you we need you to land at las vegas international airport yeah it's he's like and mc gainey is like dude we have no gas one of our engines is down i'm gonna i'm gonna land it on the strip yeah which doesn't make any sense because if you think about it hey the vid the visual they show of the strip you can see the fucking airport in the visual you can see the airport i'm pretty sure somebody's gonna fact check me on this i'm pretty sure the las vegas airport is less than a mile away from the strip so if he was able to land it on the strip he easily could have made it to the fucking airport what are we doing here gainey you know i know that was a real rough crash landing but
Starting point is 00:10:51 my favorite part after the crash landing was when he was driving the fire truck and to stop him they stuck the fire hose and they were like drowning him while he was driving the fire truck that shit was epic i loved every second of that wait on. Do you want to know what my favorite line of his was in the movie when he was like, nobody on this end gives a flying fuck. Get it? I'll be here all week. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:11:16 That just tickled me right in the funny bone. He had some good one-liners. There were some great one-liners in this movie. Two crash landings, one right in front of right right in front of the gas tanks where they all could have died and exploded in a fiery death yep and then on the strip where they they they wreck a bunch of signs a bunch of hotels and then they crash into the sands casino that sands casino was and demolition of the thing was real really so so i was reading up on it the sands casino
Starting point is 00:11:53 was getting ready to to demolish the building and then like rebuild it or whatever and so con air right right at the same time that con air was filming and so con air the production team from con air convinced the sands hotel don't demolish your building quite yet let us run a plane into it i absolutely love every second of that that's awesome great planning great yeah yeah um epic all right so like yeah mc outside of him just doing an okay job With driving that fire truck And then him getting drowned inside Really great performance by MCG Great performance
Starting point is 00:12:32 In a star-studded movie This movie is filled with Just the most manliest of men Heath I could not get over how amazing this cast was it was but we have to talk about numero uno yes star the star of stars and the one the only nicholas cage and this is this is prime nicholas cage this is this is probably right when, if not slightly after, he kind of just is like, fuck it. Let me just dive right into this character.
Starting point is 00:13:15 Early Nicolas Cage is a believable actor. He's making normal acting choices. And then right around 96, 95 96 95 97 somewhere in there something switches in nicholas cage and he just goes fucking he's just like you know i'm gonna i'm gonna turn everything up to 12 yeah and any any crushes it because his accent in this movie was something you wouldn't talk about like oscar worthy performances wow that accent changed changed the road fun fact about this movie nicholas cage actually went down to alabama and spent several months in alabama in mobile alabama trying to trying to affect that that that accent. He did a great job. What a waste of fucking time.
Starting point is 00:14:07 It did not translate to the screen one day. That's gotta be the worst southern accent I think I've ever heard in my entire life. I absolutely loved every single thing about it because then it doubles down and he's reading Spanish
Starting point is 00:14:24 in that horrible accent. Oh my God. That was another piece of goal. I wrote that down. I was like, so Nick Cage's accent is epic. It's like, it's something to be, to be hold, you know? And then he starts firing off some, lessons while using that accent. And son of a gun, it was just a thing of beauty. What a fucking actor. What a thespian. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:54 So he kind of hit you with the triple, the trifecta here, because he had the accent, right? Yeah. He had the gorgeous hair, the gorgeous flowing locks of hair right that's it is is it a skullet right isn't that much when you're losing your hair but you have a mullet at the same time his is still a mullet i think a skullet is like when you've like all like it when the hair is up top is gone okay so like hulk hogan is okay okay okay that makes that makes sense okay so not quite there but he's getting there he not quite there, but he's getting there. He's getting there, but he's fucking
Starting point is 00:15:27 rocking it, dude. He's fucking rocking it. My dad used to have that same hairstyle. My dad's hair was a lot thicker, though. My dad has had the receding hairline, but the hair he still had was thicker. Whereas, like, Nicolas Cage's
Starting point is 00:15:43 hair in this is just, like, whispering wind and uh it's like it's like uh gene wilder in uh willie wonka chocolate factory right real real wispy and dry and yeah yeah just you could definitely use a little bit of conditioner in there yeah it's just kind of like somehow like if it catches the wind it just kind of stays where it's at but there's not a lot of it going on up there you know man that's that's good stuff but yeah Nick Cage and then he also hits
Starting point is 00:16:13 the tank top and the muscles just flexing on fools the entire move the way he is like dressed and like his hair is I guarantee
Starting point is 00:16:29 you now I guarantee you he was so they meant for him to be like put up as like a heartthrob right so somebody some now I will say this movie is shocking as it may seem I'm pretty sure was staffed like 99% male, right?
Starting point is 00:16:48 Yeah. There's two female actresses in the whole movie, and I'm pretty sure the entire production staff is all male. So not a lot of female perspective here to be like, no, this is not attractive. But somebody on the production team, most people on the production team, I feel, had to look at Nick Cage and be like, dude, we fucking nailed it. We nailed it. He looks fucking amazing.
Starting point is 00:17:16 Yeah, because who wouldn't wear that fresh out of prison? As you're leaving prison, you get a nice little t-shirt and tank top. Or pants and tank top. Blue jeans and tank top blue jeans and tank yeah when he's leaving when when he gets off the bus uh to get on the plane right and he gets off the bus and he steps down and it's that moment where the sun hits him and you're like it's like he's fine he's finally outside of jail for the first time. Oh, yeah. He closes his eyes. He leans back and he does the little
Starting point is 00:17:48 hair tassel. Looks like a Head and Shoulders commercial from the 90s. It was beautiful. Do you want to know my favorite line of his during this movie? He's got some great one-liners. This is mine when he's like,
Starting point is 00:18:03 what do you think I'm going to do? I'm going to save the fucking day. That's a great one. It was meant to be really intense and awesome. Denzel delivering that would have given you chills, but because it was
Starting point is 00:18:20 Nick Cage, it was just pretty hilarious. You are, man. Save the fucking day. He has so many good one-liners. There's one where he's talking. It's right when Danny Trejo, Johnny 23.
Starting point is 00:18:35 Johnny Vente Trejo. Don't even get me started on Johnny 23 character. He's going after the female guard, and Nick Cage rips him off. And then Donnie Trey, Teddy Trey Hill goes, what do you think I,
Starting point is 00:18:49 what do you think I am? Or something like that. And the cage, his response is ugly all day. Oh God, get him. That character just gives you the heebie jeebies. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:00 You know, just him and Steve. We'll get into Steve Buscemi in a little bit. Cause God god his character Another fun fact Danny Trejo Ex-con Real life ex-con Hidden home for him
Starting point is 00:19:14 I actually have another A.K.A. Machete That's a classic I found an interview that Danny Trejo does Where he's talking about Con Air And he mentions a couple of things. The first thing he mentions is that this, what this shooting of Con Air was the biggest test of testosterone he's ever
Starting point is 00:19:36 experienced in his entire life. That's coming from a man who's been in actual prison. Yeah. Yeah. that's coming from a man who's been in actual prison yeah yeah so the shooting of con air was more of a testosterone test an actual prison yep wow wow okay tough guys there was another interview that he did on a podcast um uh there's a podcast called how let's get made where they're hosted by by Paul Scheer. They talk about terrible movies. They asked him, so you've been
Starting point is 00:20:07 in movies with the baddest of the baddest Hollywood actors. The tough guys, the scary guys. Who's the guy that scared you the most? Do you have a guess of what his answer to that question was? John Malkovich. John Cusack
Starting point is 00:20:23 was the dude that scared him the most no way he said something hilarious this is not an exact quote but he said something along the lines of john cusack just had something behind the eyes you know he was like dead in the eyes like definitely capable of murder like he's seen men who are capable of murder. Danny Trejo said this movie is the biggest testosterone test he's ever come across. And that the person that he is most scared of is John Cusack. Oh, that is absolute gold.
Starting point is 00:20:56 So John Cusack, wow. Just dead behind the eyes. Do you think it was, it was say anything, right? Is that where he holds? Isn't that where he holds the,
Starting point is 00:21:04 right. Do you think that was it? That was when he died a that where he holds isn't that where he holds the yeah right do you think that was it that was when he died a little bit inside probably yeah so it might it might just have been because so i was gonna save this i was gonna save this fun fact from later on at the end but i'll just give it to you now okay now all right it might have just been the environment that he met john kuzak in on conair because john kuzak famously hates this he hates it he hates conair he famously hates cunning okay he will not answer questions about conair refuses to absolutely refuses to answer any questions about it um he's gone on record saying he hates it after it filmed he got on record i
Starting point is 00:21:45 think he won't during his filming um saying he hated it um and as well as john malkovich has gone on record uh during filming and after filming saying he hated the he hated doing con air it was the worst one of the worst movies he's ever done. Part of the reason was because Con Air was constantly rewriting its script while shooting. So it's impossible to get in a flow or get comfortable with the character.
Starting point is 00:22:16 It's impossible. Exactly. And like John Malkovich and John Cusack, they're not known for action movies. They're known for like, you know, artsy. Method acting and like really diving into the character and feeling the emotion exactly i'm gonna do a movie where the only thing that matters is explosions was probably a little a little different for them but my favorite thing in regards to them changing the script every day is this john malkovich quote
Starting point is 00:22:40 where he goes because he refused he refused to do the press circuit for the movie like you know when they send people yeah yeah that's amazing he refused to do it because quote i didn't know what my character was doing i didn't know what my character did and i don't know what my character ended up doing wow nice that's a that's a resounding two thumbs up from the actor. How dysfunctional of a production do you have to have for one of your lead actors to not know what their character did in a movie? It's unbelievable. I love that, though. All right. Now, before we dig too deep into some of the side characters after that, you know, ringing endorsement from John Malkovich on this movie. Brandon, we got to talk a little bit deeper about our main character, because this might be our only chance to talk about the one and only Nick Cage and how much he crushes each and every role he's in.
Starting point is 00:23:42 But I have to ask, what is your favorite Nick Cage movie of all time? Oh, my favorite Nick Cage movie of all time. Because there's a lot of good choices. I know this isn't going to be yours, but don't forget Ghost Rider, right? That masterpiece out there. Ghost Rider. Don't sleep on Ghost Rider. Is it The Family Man or something?
Starting point is 00:24:09 I didn't like that one. Yeah, I think it's The Family Man, yeah. Raising Arizona, Leaving Las Vegas. Did you ever see Valley Girls? I didn't see that, but Raising Arizona is a classic. Valley Girls is late 80s, and I believe it is Nick Cage's first
Starting point is 00:24:25 feature film, Valley Girls. It's a young, young Nick Cage. Yeah. And it's fantastic. Highly recommend it. But not my favorite movie. My favorite Nick Cage movie of all time.
Starting point is 00:24:42 That's tough. Con Air is definitely up there Con Air is probably like top 5 top 3 yeah easy it's not my favorite though um oh gosh do you want me to hit you with mine
Starting point is 00:24:58 yeah hit me with yours so mine is an absolute classic it is Gone in 60 Second seconds that was like my first like real exposure to nick cage where i was like man this movie is awesome angelina jolie and you know in her young prime it was a another star-studded cast. Big Papa Void started, right? Oh, yeah. Big Papa V. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:25:27 I loved Gone in 60 Seconds. I thought it was a badass premise. The plot was amazing. The cast was very well done. Just from beginning to end, I loved everything about that movie. Okay. Gone in 60 Seconds is a good one. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:47 This is not my favorite, National fucking Treasure dude Oh absolutely That's probably number two Gone in 60 Seconds, National Treasure And then Con Air Oh okay And then National Treasure 2 Probably four Okay
Starting point is 00:26:01 I'm going to give you Top four because i'm gonna include national treasure okay number one it has to be face off oh i forget about face i haven't seen face off in so long it's i i've i watched it a bunch um over this last year because it's on TNT or whatever all the time. Okay. Or USA Network or whatever. They always play it. And since I'm working from home, they always play it in the middle of the day or whatever.
Starting point is 00:26:34 So I just turn it on. It's such that you like this. Con Air is batshit crazy. It's a batshit crazy movie. Face Off takes that to like you know the fucking stratosphere for those who are not familiar with face off it's a movie where
Starting point is 00:26:51 John Travolta who plays yeah I some kind of agency and he's trying to track down Nicolas Cage who is a terrorist for hire yes and so essentially essentially what happens is they switch faces yeah it's so so if you can if you can wrap your mind around it john travolta is is acting as if
Starting point is 00:27:15 he was nicholas cage and nicholas cage is acting as if he was john travolta it's two insane people trying to be even more insane. It's a cinematic masterpiece. Absolutely. I think that all you need to do is look at, look who's talking and look who's talking to, to know what you're dealing with when it comes to John Travolta. Oh, John Travolta is insane. Yeah. He's a legit insane person i love those movies they they were they were so good look who's talking now when the dogs is that talking whoa is that is that
Starting point is 00:27:55 way it's it's him and uh who's the who's who's the mom chris christy shields christy alley Chris Christie Shields Christie Alley Christie Alley Yeah okay Yeah yeah those movies are interesting too But if Everybody needs to do themselves a favor And go and watch Face Off Alright alright I'll go look it up It might be on Amazon Prime Go watch it again because it's fan-fucking-tastic
Starting point is 00:28:20 If you haven't watched it in a while There's yeah It's just I don't want to spoil it for you it's fantastic though anything anything that you would think i would really love an action movie i bet you it's in face off oh nice okay it's one of those one of those movies okay so all right um and then number two uh number two is probably the rock with sean connery where they break it where they like oh yeah i forgot about that one too that is a good Rock with Sean Connery where they break it. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that one, too. That is a good one. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:47 That one's directed by Michael Bay. So it's just nothing but explosion. The Michael Bay Transformer movies will always be the best. I'm not that big of a fan of the Transformers movies, but his
Starting point is 00:29:04 other stuff like The Rock is fantastic. Okay. Sean Connery is great, too. When they do him on SNL Jeopardy, that's a good step. When Will Farrell, they, you know, Will Farrell hosts. Man, I love that one. Yeah, so number one, Face Off.
Starting point is 00:29:20 Number two, The Rock. Yeah, okay. Number three, I think, would be be con air and then four national treasure national treasure is awesome oh you know who else is in national treasure maybe we just said this but big papa v john voight plays his oh yeah big papa big papa voight yeah man he's coming up all over the place angelina jolie and Gone in 60 Seconds. And then her dad, John Boy, and the other Nicolas Cage favorite, National Treasure. That's good stuff.
Starting point is 00:29:53 Yeah. Okay. So those are my top four Nicolas Cage movies. I would put Con Air number three. Yeah, I'd put Con Air number three, too. Yeah, it's just ridiculous. Should we break down the plot for people that might not have seen it or might not be aware? Yeah, yeah. Run down the plot for everyone, and then we can dive into some of the big characters.
Starting point is 00:30:17 Because there's some big names, and I want to talk about some of the characters. Yeah. Okay, so here's the IMDb synopsis real quick real short and sweet it's a newly paroled ex-con and former u.s ranger cameron poe and he's he's in prison because after he got after he was uh honorably discharged from the u.s rangers he he goes home to see his wife who is a waitress at a bar and right as soon as he walks in and starts like hugging his wife these three these three uh just maniacs um that are regulars at the bar come up to him and they pick a fight with them because they they hate they hate
Starting point is 00:31:00 him for his service first of all which is insane insane. They make jokes about him being a veteran. Like what redneck from the South hates veterans? It doesn't make any sense. But the quote I love so much is as he's like walking away from Nick Cage the first time, he goes, Pussy's like, you are the reasons we lost Vietnam. Oh, my God. That was out of control. And then you're probably going to get to this, but he takes them out with a Hulk punch.
Starting point is 00:31:33 A one-punch death punch. So they jump him as he's kind of leaving him and Monica Potter, who plays his wife wife who is supposed to be pregnant but is like the skinniest has the the skinniest like tightest belly that i've ever seen in the history of the world yeah there's no way that lady was pregnant that happens sometimes brandon you know you don't know shit about pregnancy i i know so much about pregnancy i worry skinny skinny pregnant journeys As a former fetus, Heath I know lots about pregnancy Get the fuck out of here But so they jump him as they're leaving for the night
Starting point is 00:32:13 And yes, he does the He Hulk punches one of them He does like the palm to the nose Yeah, and it breaks the nose Up into the skull Which means death And he gets sentenced To the maximum Yeah, and it breaks the nose up into the skull, which means death. And kills him. And he gets sentenced.
Starting point is 00:32:27 So this is another thing. To the maximum, because he is considered a dangerous weapon being trained by the military. Yeah, yeah. That's the judge's reasoning. First of all, his lawyer comes in right away, and it's like, you need to take the plea bargain. There's nothing I can do for you. Even though this was self-defense, it was three on plea bargain there's nothing i can do for you even though this was self-defense it was three on one there's nothing i can do for you yeah and they're gonna throw the book at you and set you as an example that marines are not allowed to defend their girlfriend wife their pregnant wife pregnant from being potentially raped and murdered yes but then he gets he gets sentenced to 10 years that's got
Starting point is 00:33:07 to be the max seven he the his exact sentence is seven to ten years do they give sentences over a period of time like that i figured they would sentence you to uh you know to 10 years or to seven years do they give it do they give it over ranges no but they usually do like uh like 20 years with the possibility of parole and that usually yeah but that's where the range would be like 15 to 20 yes but this his exact sentence word for word was seven to ten years that doesn't make any sense yeah anyways anyways keep keep driving so then so that happens at the very beginning and then he spends i think i think they said he spends eight years in prison um so he spends eight years he's finally getting off on parole
Starting point is 00:33:57 and so he uh finds himself uh on the jailbird which is a prisoner transport plane that is transporting him it's transporting him to alabama uh back home because he's in oakland the prison he's in is in oakland so it's transporting him and his bet his his new uh best friend jail buddy baby oh uh who you may recognize from oh my gosh the one and only did you did you want to do like the fried shrimp broiled shrimp shrimp stewed shrimp potatoes shrimp scampi i thank you i think you just did it yeah oh man that's all i could think of the whole time i love forest and and bubba's friendship it just it's a beautiful thing and like when he's like actually sorry i won't even go into it because you know it's funny like talking about that movie kelly literally yesterday was like listen i want to watch forest gump with you but i cannot allow for you to sit there the entire two hours and say every fucking line
Starting point is 00:35:06 and so so i can watch it again but there are rules upon this watching right so i won't i won't dig too deep into that but man i loved him as bubba just crushed it bubba gump shrimp yeah but so he plays uh baby oh in in con air and so they're getting trained they're on this transport plane with the worst of the worst criminals is what they i think is what they say um the as as bad of criminals as you can get because like an all-star game because so they're transporting um nick cage uh cameron poe toe to Alabama because that's where he's from. So he's going on parole. So he's getting out.
Starting point is 00:35:49 But everybody else is being transported to Alabama so they can go to a brand new state-of-the-art high security prison to house the worst of the worst. So it's literally the worst criminals you can think of in the world and nick cage that's there's a there's a weird meta moment uh where he's talking to baby like halfway through the movie and he basically said he like basically lays out everything that's happened so far in the movie he's like well some perfect storm of of coincidences we've ended up on a plane with the worst of the worst criminals uh and we're just trapped in the middle of it or something like that yeah yeah with uh as you're preparing to go into diabetic although although they sound like a real win oh yeah baby baby has diabetes and he goes into he's he goes into diabetic shock uh yeah but uh i wanna they don't ever mention what babyo does
Starting point is 00:36:41 right because baby oh no they never they never get into it. Baby-O has to be one of the... Why else would he be on this plane if he's not one of the worst of the worst? And they... There's a line at the beginning when he's in prison and he gets... When the cage gets his parole letter or whatever. And Baby-O says something along the lines of, man, I'll
Starting point is 00:37:00 never see my name on one of those papers. So Baby-O... Baby-O must have done something pretty terrible. Maybe he was like a gang hitman or something. I don't know, man. Right? He is the prison librarian, though. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:16 Maybe he just read too much. That's why they threw him in jail. Oh, man. We'll dig into the characters a little bit more. Keep driving this part. Are we done? So they're on the plane. They get transported to Alabama. And that's when John Malkovich,
Starting point is 00:37:32 Cyrus the Virus, and is it Ving Rhames? Is that who plays it? Yeah, Ving Rhames. Who plays Nathan Diamond Dog Jones. Everybody has code names, by the way. Diamond Dog is definitely the Diamond Dog Jones. Everybody has code names, by the way. Diamond Dog is definitely the... Diamond Dog
Starting point is 00:37:48 and Swamp Thing are definitely the top two. But Cyrus the Virus is good. Pinball. Dave Chappelle. There's a real tall Aryan-looking guy whose codename is Viking. That's a little on the nose. Viking has a
Starting point is 00:38:04 tattoo around his neck that is like uh dashed lines and then it says cut here that's awesome i did not notice that it's amazing here it's ridiculous um what an inspiration is that your next tattoo brandon? Absolutely. Absolutely. But yeah, so Cyrus the Virus and Diamond Dog, they hatched this whole plan with pretty much all the other inmates where they take over the plane. They break out of their restraints.
Starting point is 00:38:36 They break out of their little cages. They kill a couple guards. They kill one guard by jamming the edge of the handcuff into his neck. Yeah. When they overrun the plane, it is one guard by jamming uh and the edge of the handcuff into his neck yeah rough uh when they overrun the plane it is awesome because chapelle like pull like has the string and he has like the the gas and the match in a condom in his stomach and he like pulls it up and then he lights the dude next to him on fire oh my god. He's like the Native American guy.
Starting point is 00:39:05 Also, before we get any farther, I do want to point out this movie is fantastic. I highly recommend watching it, but I also will attest that it is quite possibly the most racist film I've ever seen.
Starting point is 00:39:23 Yeah, yeah. It was before the times of like people paying attention to that. They just, they just really leaned into it. It's just non nonstop. Like, like race jokes. It's just nonstop race jokes.
Starting point is 00:39:38 Being Graham's character is a, he was part of the black gorillas. So he's a, he's a, he's a big black guy that hates white people and bombed the NRA. Dave Chappelle, the other black guy, is a crackhead. Which his characters
Starting point is 00:39:54 It's just literally Danny Trejo's the Mexican rapist. Every single character is a racist stereotype. Every single one of them. But Steve Buscemi as Garland Green, the Marietta Mangler, definitely
Starting point is 00:40:10 took the cake for me. I live real close to Marietta now, Heath. I was there for a little bit. I'm in his... Just a spell. I'm right in his kill zone. He's free. He got away at the end
Starting point is 00:40:25 That was the part that I really Forgot that he is just on the loose To like murder people And chop them up And snack on them I love Garland Green because he has a couple lines In the movie That make you think
Starting point is 00:40:42 Maybe he's you know And he doesn't kill the girl He lets her think maybe he's you know you know and he doesn't kill the the girl he lets her live maybe maybe he's rehabilitated you know what i can't i i couldn't find it and i forgot to write it down but when he does like his definition of insanity that was oh yeah when it talks about is murdering people insane or is is working nine to five at a at a job that'll fire you out of nowhere more insane yeah he basically he basically gives you the moral like dilemma in fight club but within like a five second sentence yeah exactly that that was good when he what's true insanity the way he describes that one guy of being like just a total fucking stereotype
Starting point is 00:41:25 his mom either hugged him too much or not enough yeah oh my gosh he's like it doesn't matter which way you want to go with it he's the fucking stereotype of it all yeah and then he has he has another he has another line where when he's talking to camera poe about how you know and i he's talking about how some most murders are committed out of necessity not out of passion you know and so he talks about that for a little while and then he talks about then he goes on to talk about how like the like crazy people like uh gacy and dom or who did it for fun it was a real he was he was just throwing moral dilemmas that you left and right you know oh my gosh well and he he said that he like wore a girl's head
Starting point is 00:42:14 down as a hat wore her head as a hat oh my god it's and like when he starts singing he's got the whole world in his hands with that little girl. You are just on pins and needles. And I love the way they describe him as he makes the Manson family look like the Partridge family. The way he killed those people. They have a lot of great one-liners like that. There's another line when John Cusack is talking about John Malkovich, Cyrus the Virus' character, and he says he's killed more men than cancer. Yes.
Starting point is 00:42:51 Oh, my gosh. Oh, here it is. I found my note on it. He drove through three states with her head as a hat. Her head as a hat? How do you even keep her head on top of you? I don't even want to know. How does that work, Heath?
Starting point is 00:43:06 Walk me through it, Heath. I do not want to walk you through that. That is just absolutely horrifying to think about. There's another line that I had to stop and think about and try to do the math on this. It's John Cusack talking to Cole Meanymini's character uh duncan the two agents talking back and forth i like when they calls him thesaurus boy that's all he calls him he calls him dictionary boy
Starting point is 00:43:32 and then john kusek says i think thesaurus boy technically yeah um more their their whole relationship is uh that's another thing we need to talk about but when he steals the car but uh but so john kusek is talking about john malkovich and he steals the car but uh but so john cusack is talking about john malkovich and he says the dude is 39 years old cyrus the virus 39 years old
Starting point is 00:43:50 he spent he's has spent 25 years in our institutions and so he he basically he says he tells komini he's like the the the poster child for whatever. So he spent 25 years of his 39 years in some kind of institution. Yeah, he's the poster child for the criminally insane and an indictment on the prison system. Yes, okay. So he only had 14 years. He says 25 years of it have been in institutions. So that means he has 14 years of free life, right? So that would mean either he was perfectly fine up until he was 14 years old, and then he killed more men than cancer and then got thrown in jail or he got thrown in juvie at like seven came out for a
Starting point is 00:44:47 little went back in you know like the the math on that well what a what a life this guy must have led to have spent 25 years of institutions i mean he basically got a master's degree in crime spending it in all of like the most you know like penitentiaries right like and he does such a good job of like the just the way he portrays cyrus the virus his mannerisms like the way he delivers the lines it is like perfect right like john malkovich crushes he crushes but i don't think he meant to crush because as i said earlier he didn't know what he was doing that was but like that was the best part right because like they had no idea what they were doing the whole time in the plane and it like came off as that it's just like a chaotic disaster the whole time and that's what it was and so like you were riding with him the whole time where he was just improvising because that's what would happen in
Starting point is 00:45:51 that moment yeah i mean diamond dog and pinball like i mentioned the script changed day to day literally day to day during shooting and so a lot of a lot of the lines were improvised especially i read something like all of dave chapelle's lines he improvised oh i love and he played pinball parker and that was one of my favorite characters when he's like oh it smells like someone's shit in your mouth and then he goes he told me he loved me and then cracked me up and then uh when he when he lights the the dude on fire next to him and he's like, what does he say? He goes like, hey, chief, if you come out of this on the other end, OK, I hope you don't hold a grudge. Oh, my gosh. He does such.
Starting point is 00:46:37 And then I love the way they kill him off, too, is that he gets he gets distracted hitting on the attendant at the at the hangar and then gets stuck in the landing equipment. Yep. Gets stuck in the landing equipment. And then they just write a message on him. Just kick him down and lands in the middle of the road on that dude's car. That's another great line. Yeah, they kick him out of the plane. So he lands on a dude's car. Right another great that's another great line yeah they they kick him out of the plane so he lands on a dude's car right after a bird poops on his car which wow comedy gold so comedy freaking gold so he lands on the car so then the cops come and the
Starting point is 00:47:19 the message that nicholas cage wrote on his on his shirt which i don't know how that message is still there falling from that likeing from that distance, that body would have like... Splatter. Yeah, yeah. That shirt, I think, would have been disintegrated. But anyway, the message he writes on the shirt is to contact Agent Larkin, who is John Cusack's character.
Starting point is 00:47:38 Yeah, because it holds up like it just fell three stories from the building. So the cop who arrives at the scene calls agent larkin and is like hey this dude just fell from the sky got you on speed dial yeah but he goes the line he says is he goes hey agent larkin i got a message for you it was on a dude that fell from the sky yeah pretty sure he's not an astronaut i forgot about that line that was gold too oh man pretty sure he's not an astronaut. I forgot about that line.
Starting point is 00:48:05 That was gold too. Pretty sure he's not an astronaut. It just had him on speed dial right away. Oh my gosh. And then, gosh, so the one-liners in this are just insane. And a lot of them like i mentioned are improvised um it's just crazy another thing i want to point out is um the the fashion the like um pretty much everybody in the plane's wearing like prison garb and and and uh and or like prison guard
Starting point is 00:48:40 stuff but the suits that john cusack and like cole meanie and the other agents are wearing were like peak 90s where everything's like three sizes too big it's all super baggy it's all like john cusack's wearing like a like a white suit for some reason why wouldn't he god i guess he's trying to very miami vice but like the itinded me how terrible fashion was in the mid 90s like nobody knew how to fit How to like tailor or fit anything It's just like the baggiest Clothes that you could find I miss
Starting point is 00:49:14 You know the baggy clothes Remember I never had any but I bet You had JNCOs Brandon JNCO jeans I did not But do you remember like the like all The jeans had the white JNCO jeans? I did not. But do you remember like the, like all the jeans had the wide... I think I could pull off JNCO jeans. Well, and like all the jeans had the wide bottoms. And so
Starting point is 00:49:29 if you are from a state where it snows... Yeah, it was a drag. And then, yeah, well, okay, so you have the wide bottoms, you're in a state that it snows, and then all of a sudden that moisture starts to creep up
Starting point is 00:49:45 by by like lunchtime in school you have like water halfway up your thigh from yeah from the snow oh man how do you not miss those days did i i hate like wide bottom anything it's a classic step everyone needs it i wanted to make a jingo bar crawl remember yeah yeah uh yeah jingos were my worst fucking nightmare i hated those things i hated any any kind of like wide bottom pants like i i i just can't do it i need my i need my pants to be form-fitting you know all right well to each their own plus like baggy like those you just look like an idiot with like baggy pants i think it's hilarious like those big extra baggy ones yeah it's hilarious because they look like idiots okay i mean it's still great stuff hold on wait before we go too far off kilter too i have to
Starting point is 00:50:40 mention my favorite john malkovich line because it was so good where um the guy was uh begging for his life and he was like please sigh and then john malkovich goes anara and burns the dude alive you can tell that wasn't the first time he did that to somebody he killed where they did because he because he cuts them off perfectly the dude's about to say cyrus yeah burned alive okay sorry what were you gonna say i just had to that had to be said before the end of the spot cole mean his character is a dea agent and he's his main objective there is one of the people that's being transported is like a south american drug dealer yeah he's trying to get he's trying to to get a confession from him before he's transported uh to alabama where the fbi is going to interview him yeah and he's a huge dick call me he's a huge dick he hates so this is another thing that i loved it's a like a overly exaggerated illustration but it's it like perfectly
Starting point is 00:51:46 encapsulates when uh or when like back in the 90s and way before then and even still to a certain degree now that the art like the the american like justice system from like top to bottom refuses to talk to each other but no no he ever wants to help another agency because they don't want the other person to get credit for it you know like yeah exactly there's zero information um shared between agencies and so like this is a perfect illustration where the dea he hates john cusack because he's a u.S. marshal, and then he hates the FBI. He hates everybody that's not a DEA agent. It's just every agency is out for – they're looking out for them and only them.
Starting point is 00:52:34 It's not about justice. It's not about anything. It's about what can I get credit for. And how can I get promoted? Wow, a real indictment. I mean, and that's still going on today. We won't get into that. It still going on. It's going. It's lesser on now because of all the tragedies that happened.
Starting point is 00:52:50 It's even worse. The FBI has become an absolute joke. Yeah. Okay. Sorry not to get us shut down, but, you know, it's rough stuff out there. Yes. But yeah, everybody just refused to talk to each other. But I just love that.
Starting point is 00:53:07 Because Cole Meany comes in right out the gate, not even knowing who John Cusack is, and is like, this motherfucker is the worst because he's a U.S. Marshal. Jesus Christ, man. He comes in with that convertible and just is a huge tool. Did you see the license plate on the convertible? Yeah, I forget what it was, though. It's ass kicker a z that's right as kicker as kicker uh colemania has a great one-liner um because john cusack has shown he's got away with words right he's the dictionary boy he's a little bit intelligent colemania thinks that means he's in it thinks that means he's like not a man or whatever so there's a
Starting point is 00:53:47 there's a line where so Cole or so John Cusack is by himself at the airfield trying to stop the the plane where and then everybody else got turned around into a different location and they're asking where John Cusack is and Cole Meany's character
Starting point is 00:54:04 goes why are you even Asking where he is he's probably off saving the fucking Rainforest yeah That's Like when he was like talking Shit in that chopper yeah Remember when karen about the environment made you Not a man he's yeah it's a
Starting point is 00:54:20 Real lame those those are the Good old days yeah it's A bunch of hippies trying to save the rainforest. Bunch of hippie fucking bullshit. That's him and Cartman both both hating the hippies.
Starting point is 00:54:36 Oh, yeah. So that was the one liner from I think he has a couple other ones. He just fucking he hates everybody. He fucking hates everybody. It just it was so good and then did we did we talk about steve buscemi singing he's got the whole world in his hands and he's how utterly terrifying okay i just he thought that was i thought it was calming especially when they're crashing on the strip and he started singing That was nice and calming. I just like his character. He did such a good job of being a complete sociopath.
Starting point is 00:55:11 I mean, he's the only one who doesn't doesn't commit any illegal activities throughout the movie, though. I mean, yes, except that he was proven guilty for killing at least 30 people up and down the seaboard, the eastern seaboard. They didn't say he was proven guilty. They said he confessed. He confessed. If we know anything about coerced confessions,
Starting point is 00:55:38 you know, that shit's real. Maybe he was forced into a confession. Listen, he's not usher those are not his confession i would i would need i would need to take a look at the case file in order to to to fully express my opinion on this but i'm just gonna take take a look at the tape yeah yeah exactly all i know is that he confessed but then he did not commit any crimes during this movie he's the only one that doesn't commit a crime,
Starting point is 00:56:06 even fucking Nicholas cage and John Cusack's committed crimes, you know? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's fully rehabilitated. The Marietta Mangler. You heard,
Starting point is 00:56:17 you heard it here first. Fully rehabilitated. It really was the movie. You can basically break up into like, what is it like, you know, a certain amount of sections. There's the first section where he like first gets on the plane and they take it over. Then there's the new people that come on board. Then there's the landing where they crash land and pull the plane out and have like the battle you know with the army and everyone and then there's the crash landing on the vegas strip uh which which is the final final conclusion yeah
Starting point is 00:56:55 absolutely insane but but yeah so so we get to the strip the the the end here where they crash on the strip um John Cusack Cole Meade they all get there They start wrinkling up all the bad guys And then We see Cyrus the Virus Swamp Thing and Diamond Dog Are able to sneak off of the plane
Starting point is 00:57:18 And into a fire truck And I love that Cyrus the Virus Is just like Hanging out on top for all the world to see on the top of the ladder so swamp thing gets into the it gets into the is it still called a cockpit even if even it's a if it's a car i i think it's just gets in the driver's seat of the fire truck okay but so he's uh he's driving the cockpit of the fire truck there yeah so he's driving the fire truck and then you have diamond dog hanging off the back he's doing a terrible
Starting point is 00:57:50 job with the fire truck too he's running into fucking everything and he's over correcting his turns like a lunatic he just he's used to flying a plane they're a lot you know they're not as sensitive he's i mean that sounds like excuses for our boy m MC Ganey just not doing a great job. I will give MC Ganey every excuse in the book. All right. I'm just holding him accountable. He's got an 18-foot-long leash with me. He can do whatever he wants.
Starting point is 00:58:14 Did you absolutely love it, too, when John Cusack and Nick Cage saw Cyrus on the fire truck at the same time and they both saddle up To the police motorcycles And then they look at They give each other the nod For the high speed chase when in actuality It should be like hey you are a US citizen Get off the fucking Police bike
Starting point is 00:58:38 No dude he's He's gonna save the fucking day Oh that was That right there was my absolute favorite line Probably save the fucking day. Oh, that right there was my absolute favorite line. Probably save the fucking day. So they drive away on the fire truck. You have Diamond Dog hanging off the back. Cyrus the Virus is on top on where the ladder is.
Starting point is 00:58:58 And they're driving down. And so Cusack and Cage are chasing him down on the bikes. And Cage wrecks his bike and throws it into the fire truck, and he kills Diamond Dog. Yeah, that was absolutely epic. I'm pretty sure I can pull it off. I got faith in you, Heath. I think you can do it. Right on.
Starting point is 00:59:37 Thanks for believing in me. Yeah, absolutely. If there's one guy who can do it, Heath, it's you. Yeah, that belief right there is all I need to accomplish it. So keep an eye out on your local news. But so they're chasing him down to kill Diamond Dog. And then that's when John Cusack cops on the fire truck and starts spraying, filling the cockpit with water. That's my favorite moment
Starting point is 01:00:06 he's fucking filling it like a fishbowl and mc gamey is like drowning while he's driving a fire truck and if that is not cinematic gold i really honestly don't know what it is i don't so then he ends up crashing because of that into uh like an overpass right like a little walkway overpass which so cyrus the virus is on the ladder on the back of the fire truck he goes through the overpass gets flung onto a bunch of power lines falls through the power lines into like uh an industrial like cement factory or some shit that's in the middle of the strip because why not of course but not only does he fall into there he falls onto a conveyor belt that then rolls him off into like the smash zone is what i'm going to call it so it's like the you know the the little uh up and down uh levy things
Starting point is 01:00:59 that smash rocks yeah yeah so his head falls perfectly into there to where the rock would be. And the thing comes down and dunzo for, for Cyrus, the virus. Yeah. If you're a game of Thrones fan, it's like, uh,
Starting point is 01:01:13 when the mountain and the red Viper, you know, met at their, for their final battle. Okay. Yeah. That's fair. Remember when the Viper's head got popped?
Starting point is 01:01:22 Like, is it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A quick message from our friends at Broken Forest Collective. Built on a passion for small batch and handcrafted products, Broken Forest provides high quality casual wear and lifestyle goods that are American made and built to outlast the fast fashion trends. They also plant a tree in Boulder, Colorado, for every product sold.
Starting point is 01:01:47 Visit BrokenForestCo.com and use the code CAKEETERS15 for 15% off your order. So, yeah, that's the end of the movie. Saves the day. Saves the day, Heath. And then his wife and daughter right there to so i want to greet him i want to talk about this this is brandon's parenting corner i'm bringing this back because i need to talk about this youth so he spent some real rough parenting in this movie let's talk about cameron poe and his his his family here so
Starting point is 01:02:20 his his daughter his his wife is pregnant when he comes back from u.s army rangers right yeah hopefully that's his kid when when was the last time he had leave would it make sense that it's that that that he was in the u.s army and then she got pregnant we we got to check the dates on that we you know especially with all these these these regulars she's got that are so quick to kill somebody for her and then um so and then he goes to jail before cassie is it cassie or casey it's casey right casey yeah before casey is born he goes to jail before casey is born and while he's in jail for eight years while casey is growing up he refuses to let her see him in jail he refuses to visit her he writes her letters and they exchange like gifts packages or whatever
Starting point is 01:03:13 and letters all the time which is nice but he straight up refuses to see her while he's in jail yeah because that doesn't make he doesn't want her to see her that or see him that way which i mean that's surrounded by murder that doesn't really that doesn't want her to see her that or see him that way, which I mean, that's surrounded by murder. That doesn't really that doesn't check out, though. Like he's flat out refuses to see his daughter that he's never met before. She doesn't he doesn't want her to think of him as a caged animal. But so, OK, but so then then when does he actually meet her? You know, he's he literally just killed like 15 people.
Starting point is 01:03:47 Because now he is a hero, even though technically saving your wife from being mugged and assaulted would also make you a hero, except for one weird judge's eyes. But I just didn't put, I don't get why he refused to see her and then he and then so he buy it before he gets on the plane he bought he somehow buys a bunny like a little stuffed bunny from the the prison commissary i think i assume that's where he got it i don't know why the prison would be selling stuffed bunnies but yeah it's you gotta give one to your lady when she comes on visit that i get i guess i guess but
Starting point is 01:04:26 but so he common practice brandon but so that bunny goes through a lot throughout the plane that bunny has a horrific yeah really goes through it almost gets murdered a few times gets almost washed down the drain yep it somehow dries off very quickly i don't think it was dry when he handed it to her why would he give her that fucking bunny dude that bothered me why would he give her that bunny it's fucking disgusting yeah it was absolutely it was covered in rain like dirty sewer water yeah uh probably blood yeah and had been groped by at least three different murderers yeah like why would you want that to be the first thing your daughter owns from you is like a weird abduction prison murder buddy yeah i'm gonna go on record here for brandon's
Starting point is 01:05:13 parenting quarter uh cameron poe terrible father bro f minus yeah f minus f and whatever his wife's name You know probably a D plus at best Trisha Poe Yeah D plus I would need to see more of the Life with her and Casey Give you a final judgment But not looking great At least during this stretch
Starting point is 01:05:40 It was real Real tough Just terrible parenting all around and then you know you factor that in with all the the parents of all these murderers not a great not a great look for parents you know what was steve we should be to say either hugged by his mom too much or not enough yeah either way it's all about balance guys you got to find the middle ground middle ground not too many hugs but not too few it's that's that's the parenting advice for this episode not too many hugs not too few take that to the bank keith life is about balance you know firm but gentle
Starting point is 01:06:19 that's how i like to do things so you get ahead so so yeah con air whatever and i i always love when like when movies have that moment where they say the name of the movie welcome to con air this is a yeah i fucking love that too because he he steals the gun from the pilot. Yeah. That second pilot made the number one mistake that you don't make when you're in that situation. You don't open the cockpit door.
Starting point is 01:06:56 Yeah. There's no reason at all you should open that cockpit. You just keep that son of a bitch barricaded. Yeah, exactly. He had to try to be a hero and he fucking cost everybody yeah just and he was no fucking hero this was this was pre-911 so maybe they didn't they didn't have that room yet yeah i don't know i'm not with that i'm not a pilot i don't i don't know when when the dates all coincided but yeah yeah he made the number one rule but yeah so Cyrus the Survivor steals the gun
Starting point is 01:07:26 from that pilot and then he comes down and he shoots the gun in the air to get everybody to stop because this is when the fucking melee is going on and they're killing guards so he shoots the gun and he's like I've got the only gun on board guys
Starting point is 01:07:41 welcome to Con Air a thing of absolute beauty right there and you knew that's when the movie had really started oh yeah yeah that's everything before that was the cold open yeah it was it was awesome um but what a what a great opportunity to rewatch this movie. I haven't watched it in forever. And, you know, anything with an amazing Mighty Ducks tie-in and MC Ganey as Swamp Thing, our boy, podcast favorite, a.k.a. Lewis, the bus driver, the equipment man, the heart, the soul, the ducks.
Starting point is 01:08:24 The assistant coach ducks the assistant coach he absolutely crushes this movie and his role as Swamp Thing makes a great entrance, makes a great exit he's fantastic, yeah he absolutely crushes it
Starting point is 01:08:40 10 out of 10 oh, well I mean it's that time of the show i think brandon where we we give i already forgot what our rating system was so we're giving it out of five cake yes out of five cakes we're doing from one to five the one to five cake i take back my 10 out of 10 rating i gotta i take it back. Yeah, you better dial that shit back real quick. We also do allow decimals. We do allow the decimal system.
Starting point is 01:09:12 I encourage decimals. Yeah, yeah. Real numbers nerd, but all right. Out of five cakes, Brandon, what would you rate Con Air? I think I know mine. I think I am going to go a 3.85 on this one.
Starting point is 01:09:32 3.85? 3.85 cakes for Conair. You're going double, Desi. Yeah, I'm getting real in the weeds on this one for you, Brandon. Just for you. 3.85 cakes okay i'm gonna give con air oh gosh i'm gonna give con air oh gosh this is tough is it better than heavyweights i'm trying to i'm trying to weigh that here is it better better than heavyweights? I don't think it is.
Starting point is 01:10:08 Yeah. I'm going to go slightly. I think I gave heavyweights a 3.7. I'm going to give Conair a 3.6. Nice. And that lines up because I tend to grade
Starting point is 01:10:22 much nicer than what it probably deserves. Yeah. That's just my personality. That's me. This movie, just under heavyweights, but heavyweights in this movie have very different target audiences.
Starting point is 01:10:41 That's where I would lean towards. If you're looking for like a a kid's movie or like a happy go if you're looking for like a family movie you go heavyweights if you're looking for some you know some raw testosterone filled action you go connor yeah yeah yeah but you know still a great movie to watch i i recommend it highly recommend it i highly recommend it for people who uh for people who enjoy weird movies or like yeah like left field that's not really i guess left just fun throwback movies if you if you don't care about your movie making sense this is the movie for you yeah yeah and and we we watched it on tnt tbs i streamed it
Starting point is 01:11:29 on like the tnt app that's what i did i did as well okay cool and so that i you know by the time we release this who knows when such a movies jump all over the place i was gonna say when i was watching it it said it was expiring uh that day i did too yeah yeah so there's a chance that it's no longer streaming on tnt but just you know do a quick google search you're an adult you know you have fucking thumbs you can type it into your phone sorry that might have been a little aggressive i didn't mean to be aggressive but you know you can find it you'll be able to it's on uh i believe it's on hulu as well. Hulu is great. It's on Hulu and then you can also buy it or rent it
Starting point is 01:12:08 from Amazon. Amazon Prime, you can always rent shit there. It's such a great movie. Everybody should buy it. The information I'm looking at right now says $3.99 to rent it on Amazon. I'm wondering how much it is.
Starting point is 01:12:26 Probably like $10 to buy it. Maybe $12. Just go ahead and buy it. You're going to want to watch it more than once. Just go ahead and buy it. thanks for listening everyone please remember to follow and like us on Instagram at The Cake Eaters Pod, on Twitter at The Cake Eaters. Also reach out to us via email, thecakeeaterspod at gmail.com or visit our website, thecakeeaterspod.com.

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