The Cake Eaters - 26. Con Air (MC Gainey & Jeannie Epper)
Episode Date: March 1, 2022Heath & Brandon discuss the absolutely dysfunctional production of Con Air, good old-fashioned testosterone-driven action, our favorite Nic Cage movies, the lack of teamwork between government age...ncies, a return of Brandon's Parenting Corner, and then break down the 90s classic, Con-Air, staring our boy MC Gainey. Follow us at www.thecakeaterspod.com and on Twitter (@thecakeeaters) and Instagram (@thecakeeaterspod) Email us at thecakeeaterspod@gmail.com
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Remember, it's not worth winning if you can't win!
What's up guys, My name's Brandon.
And I'm Heath.
And we're the hosts of the Cake Eaters podcast.
Heath, I got a couple questions for you.
What are those, Brandon?
Number one, do you enjoy movies?
Sure do, Brandon.
Number two, do you enjoy planes?
Sure do, Brandon.
Number three, and this is the most important, Heath, do you enjoy convicts? Sure don't know how to answer that question, Brandon. Number three, and this is the most important, Heath. Do you enjoy convicts?
Sure don't know how to answer that question, Brandon.
Well, I'm going to pretend you said yes,
because we have a great fucking episode for you today, Heath,
if all three of those things are right up your alley.
And that is the 1997 classic Con Air.
And for those not familiar, the con in Con Air refers to convicts on a plane.
Wow.
In the air.
Brandon, our
tray tables are up.
Our seat belts are fastened.
Our seats
are in a full upright position.
And I think we're ready to go.
We're ready to fly.
What's the in-flight
movie today do you remember do you remember the line from the movie yeah what he asked
oh dang it it was like right on the tip of my tongue too son of a biscuit i was it was right
there i'll tell you what it is so so john malgovich asked what the in-flight movie is
for the the con airplane and the guard goes oh yeah, I think you're going to enjoy it, Cyrus.
It's a little thing called never going to have sex with a woman on a beach ever again.
Yeah, that's right.
Oh, man, that guard was a real dick.
I love how he puts on a beach.
It's not just never going to have sex with a woman ever again.
It's never going to have sex with a woman on a beach.
Real specific. gonna have sex with a woman ever again it's never gonna have sex with a woman on a beach real specific i feel like that would get real sandy and you know real rough it's it's not ideal
now you gotta it's that's that's something that you gotta that's takes a lot of planning and
foresight you know you gotta you gotta bring the right blanket yeah you gotta know you gotta know
beforehand what you're getting into you have to expect a little scene it's like when you take like beer to a beach you you just got to expect a little
sand where you don't want it yeah that's that's true but you got to be careful with location too
because if you're trying to sneak back in the sand dunes at least out here where we live that's
snake breeding ground and you can get a little bite on your tush and the sand dunes yeah that's i i don't
know if yeah i don't know if you're having sex on a beach it needs to be like a tropical
beach you can't be doing it in sand dunes well i mean you know not everyone has access to tropical
beach some of us have access to a regular beach then you're just never gonna have sex with a woman
on a beach that's just something you you got to come to grips with.
All right.
Well, now that you've burst my bubble, Brandon, let's go ahead and jump into this episode.
Because first, let's explain to the listeners why we are breaking down this amazing movie.
This is a Mighty Ducks theme podcast.
So you might be thinking to yourself, why are we talking about Con Air today?
And I'm going to give you two very specific reasons he's number one is our boy mc gainey podcast babe lewis the uh the limo slash bus
driver or van driver from slash heart slash soul slash assistant coach yeah um from the the
movie he's slash bombay's best friend.
Yeah. Slash equipment guy.
You know he's helping with that equipment coming in and out.
So Louis, MC
Ganey is in this movie. He plays
Swamp Thing. Yeah.
Oh, love that.
Do they mention his actual name or do they just
it's just his code name? I know there's some people
just his code name. I think he's just
Swamp Thing, except that also could have just been me because as soon as they said swamp
thing i was like oh hell yes because i i mean super random quick thought but there was like a
swamp thing tv series in the 90s and i had some of those toys and so i got into swamp thing for
just like a second you know just just dipped your toes in
just just quick dip of the toes and they were the same size as my wcw action figures and so
swamp thing had a lot of battles like my two swamp things would have a lot of battles sting
and flying brian pillman you know oh okay yeah i was gonna i was gonna ask so he was fighting
sting it was brought yeah was brian pillman wcw or is he always ww okay i was i was gonna ask you if swamp thing ever won
the intercontinental title but that that's the wcw would be was he ever united states champion
uh no he was not he was a bad guy there was only the good guys won oh you want to want it's okay
okay yeah yeah except yeah except sometimes my boy
million dollar man would hold on to that
million dollar championship well naturally
yeah it's just a title
I met him once at a
Houston Comic Con we had a great
time talking some Husker football
great guy shout out Ted DiBiase
is he from Nebraska
yeah Omaha
roots for the family there for the DBS.
That's tight. Yeah. Shout out million dollar man.
I don't know if you remember me from 10 years ago.
He's an avid listener of the podcast. Yeah. Huge fan. Huge fan.
He reaches out all the time. Can't keep him out of my email. All right.
Anyways. So that that's that's one
connection is our boy mc gainey yes and the main reason we're we were we were doing con air and
then in in doing con air we also found a second connection yes that is uh the great actress
slash stunt woman genie epper okay um she's a shout out genie she's literally i guarantee you
any movie
That you can kind of think of off the top of your head
She's done the stunts for
Well probably not any movie
Her stunt credits are ridiculous
And then she's also an actress
She's been an actress in a bunch of stuff too
So she did stunts
For the Mighty Ducks, the original Mighty Ducks movie
Love that
She's also doing stunts for Con Air
What are some of the
other ones? Double Connection.
Stunt-wise, she did
Kill Bill Vol. 2,
Fast and Furious,
Tokyo Drift, Too Fast,
Too Furious.
Son of a gun.
We got some
high-rolling movies right here.
Oh, yeah. She did
The Amazing Spider-Man.
That's the first one with Andrew Garfield.
Nice.
Catch Me If You Can, Minority Report.
I loved Catch Me If You Can.
I don't know.
That was once we're being done in Orange County, but that's a great one, too.
Oh, I mean, the shenanigans were out of the out Orange County. One of Jack Black's finest right there.
And wasn't that Tom Hanks' son that was in that?
Yeah, Colin Hanks.
Yeah.
But yeah, so she's so many stunt movies or so many stunts in movies.
She's, you know.
And then she was also an actress in Kill Bill Vol. 2.
She was.
Oh, I just
noticed this too. Uncredited
role in The Mighty Ducks.
Nice. Guess who she was.
Guess which extra
uncredited extra she was in The Mighty Ducks.
Connie?
No, which uncredited
extra. Oh, uncredited extra.
Sorry. I don't know. I went
blank. Was she on the cardinals
she's the woman in the mall
shut the front door she's the woman that gets taken out in the mall that is awesome so that's
the stunt she did she did her own stunt good for her did her own stunt oh good for her because i
was worried about that old lady we talked about that oh that's awesome yeah those are fun tie-in those are our two connections to con air is uh
genie epper and uh our boy mc gainey shouldn't before we move on we didn't get into the swamp
thing character too much before we keep moving forward should we dive into his character do we
want to circle back in a minute we can dive in if yeah
talk about our boy MC Ganey so he
comes in kind of halfway through the movie
yeah maybe
a third
but he is
he's the backup pilot he's
the Cyrus
and the convicts they
stop it they have to make a stop at Carson City.
Yeah.
So I guess what an entrance he makes when he's walking out in between the guards and he's just hair flowing in the breeze.
Oh, my gosh.
It is just a beautiful entrance as he comes walking in.
And Cyrus is just salivating at his new.
Yes, he's Cyrus is pretty much.
Well, not his right hand man, because that's kind of Diamond Dog.
Diamond Dog's the right hand man.
But he's he's MC Ganey Swamp Thing is third in command and pilot.
Yeah, man.
And he just absolutely crushes it.
Because as soon as he gets in that cockpit he
starts just doing some fancy wiring and he's getting a transponder pulled out of there
yeah yeah yeah they pulled the the is it called the transponder oh yeah the the location device
or whatever yep exactly but yeah mc gainey uh real clutch coming in for
the the pilot for the second half of this um he does some pretty crazy uh landings oh yeah he
crash lands in the in the middle of the desert and then he also crash lands on the las vegas strip
which is we'll get into that that part always because that's one of my favorite parts that
part always cracks me up because on the over the walkie-talkie they'll get the guys are like you we need you to land at las
vegas international airport yeah it's he's like and mc gainey is like dude we have no gas one of
our engines is down i'm gonna i'm gonna land it on the strip yeah which doesn't make any sense
because if you think about it hey the vid the visual they show of the strip you can see the fucking airport
in the visual you can see the airport i'm pretty sure somebody's gonna fact check me on this i'm
pretty sure the las vegas airport is less than a mile away from the strip
so if he was able to land it on the strip he easily could have made it to the fucking
airport what are we doing here gainey you know i know that was a real rough crash landing but
my favorite part after the crash landing was when he was driving the fire truck and to stop him they
stuck the fire hose and they were like drowning him while he was driving the fire truck that shit
was epic i loved every second of that wait on. Do you want to know what my favorite
line of his was in the movie
when he was like, nobody on this
end gives a flying fuck.
Get it? I'll be here all week.
Oh, man.
That just tickled me right
in the funny bone. He had some
good one-liners. There were some great
one-liners in this movie.
Two crash landings, one right in front of right right in front of the gas tanks where they all could have
died and exploded in a fiery death yep and then on the strip where they they they wreck a bunch of
signs a bunch of hotels and then they crash into the sands casino that sands casino
was and demolition of the thing was real really so so i was reading up on it the sands casino
was getting ready to to demolish the building and then like rebuild it or whatever and so con air
right right at the same time that con air was filming and so con air the production team from
con air convinced the sands hotel don't demolish your building quite yet let us run a plane into it i absolutely love every
second of that that's awesome great planning great yeah yeah um epic all right so like yeah mc
outside of him just doing an okay job With driving that fire truck
And then him getting drowned inside
Really great performance by MCG
Great performance
In a star-studded movie
This movie is filled with
Just the most manliest of men
Heath
I could not get over how amazing this cast was it was but we have
to talk about numero uno yes star the star of stars and the one the only nicholas cage
and this is this is prime nicholas cage this is this is probably right when, if not slightly after, he kind of just is like, fuck it.
Let me just dive right into this character.
Early Nicolas Cage is a believable actor.
He's making normal acting choices.
And then right around 96, 95 96 95 97 somewhere in there something switches
in nicholas cage and he just goes fucking he's just like you know i'm gonna i'm gonna turn
everything up to 12 yeah and any any crushes it because his accent in this movie was something
you wouldn't talk about like oscar worthy performances wow that accent changed
changed the road fun fact about this movie nicholas cage actually went down to alabama
and spent several months in alabama in mobile alabama trying to trying to affect that that that accent. He did a great job. What a waste of fucking time.
It did not translate
to the screen one day. That's gotta be
the worst southern accent I think I've ever heard
in my entire life. I
absolutely loved
every single thing about it
because then it doubles down
and he's reading Spanish
in that horrible accent.
Oh my God. That was another piece of goal. I wrote that down. I was like,
so Nick Cage's accent is epic. It's like, it's something to be, to be hold, you know? And then
he starts firing off some, lessons while using that accent.
And son of a gun, it was just a thing of beauty.
What a fucking actor.
What a thespian.
Yeah.
So he kind of hit you with the triple, the trifecta here, because he had the accent, right?
Yeah.
He had the gorgeous hair, the gorgeous flowing locks of hair right that's it is is it
a skullet right isn't that much when you're losing your hair but you have a mullet at the same time
his is still a mullet i think a skullet is like when you've like all like it when the hair is
up top is gone okay so like hulk hogan is okay okay okay that makes that makes sense okay so
not quite there but he's getting there he not quite there, but he's getting there.
He's getting there, but he's fucking
rocking it, dude. He's fucking
rocking it. My dad used to have that same
hairstyle.
My dad's hair was a lot
thicker, though.
My dad has had the receding hairline,
but the hair he still had was thicker.
Whereas, like, Nicolas Cage's
hair in this is just, like, whispering wind and uh it's like it's like uh gene wilder in uh willie wonka chocolate
factory right real real wispy and dry and yeah yeah just you could definitely use a little bit
of conditioner in there yeah it's just kind of like somehow like if it catches the wind it just
kind of stays where it's at but there's not a lot of it going
on up there you know
man that's that's good stuff
but yeah Nick Cage
and then he also hits
the tank top
and the muscles
just flexing on
fools the entire
move
the way he is like
dressed and like his hair is
I guarantee
you now I guarantee you
he was so they meant
for him to be like put up as like a heartthrob right
so somebody some
now I will say this movie
is shocking as it may seem
I'm pretty sure was staffed
like 99% male, right?
Yeah.
There's two female actresses in the whole movie, and I'm pretty sure the entire production staff is all male.
So not a lot of female perspective here to be like, no, this is not attractive. But somebody on the
production team, most people
on the production team, I feel, had to look at Nick Cage
and be like, dude, we
fucking nailed it. We nailed it.
He looks fucking amazing.
Yeah, because who wouldn't wear that
fresh out of prison? As you're
leaving prison, you get a nice little
t-shirt and tank top.
Or pants and tank top. Blue jeans and tank top blue jeans and tank yeah when he's leaving when when he gets off the bus uh to get on the plane right and he
gets off the bus and he steps down and it's that moment where the sun hits him and you're like it's
like he's fine he's finally outside of jail for the first time. Oh, yeah. He closes his eyes.
He leans back and he does the little
hair tassel.
Looks like a Head and Shoulders commercial
from the 90s.
It was beautiful.
Do you want to know my favorite line of his
during this movie?
He's got some great one-liners.
This is mine when he's like,
what do you think I'm going to do?
I'm going to save the fucking day.
That's a great one.
It was meant to be
really intense
and awesome. Denzel
delivering that would have given you
chills, but because it was
Nick Cage, it was just
pretty hilarious.
You are, man.
Save the fucking day.
He has so many good one-liners.
There's one where he's talking.
It's right when Danny Trejo,
Johnny 23.
Johnny Vente Trejo.
Don't even get me started
on Johnny 23 character.
He's going after the female guard,
and Nick Cage rips him off.
And then Donnie Trey,
Teddy Trey Hill goes,
what do you think I,
what do you think I am?
Or something like that.
And the cage,
his response is ugly all day.
Oh God,
get him.
That character just gives you the heebie jeebies.
Oh yeah.
You know,
just him and Steve.
We'll get into Steve Buscemi in a little bit.
Cause God god his character
Another fun fact Danny Trejo
Ex-con
Real life ex-con
Hidden home for him
I actually have another
A.K.A. Machete
That's a classic
I found an interview that Danny Trejo does
Where he's talking about Con Air
And he mentions a couple of things.
The first thing he mentions is that this,
what this shooting of Con Air was the biggest test of testosterone he's ever
experienced in his entire life.
That's coming from a man who's been in actual prison.
Yeah.
Yeah. that's coming from a man who's been in actual prison yeah yeah so the shooting of con air was
more of a testosterone test an actual prison yep wow wow okay tough guys there was another interview
that he did on a podcast um uh there's a podcast called how
let's get made where they're hosted by by Paul Scheer. They talk about terrible movies.
They asked him, so you've been
in movies with the baddest of the baddest
Hollywood actors.
The tough guys, the scary guys.
Who's the guy that scared you
the most? Do you have
a guess of what his answer
to that question was? John Malkovich.
John Cusack
was the dude that scared him the most no way he said
something hilarious this is not an exact quote but he said something along the lines of john
cusack just had something behind the eyes you know he was like dead in the eyes like
definitely capable of murder like he's seen men who are capable of murder.
Danny Trejo said this movie is the biggest testosterone test he's ever come across.
And that the person that he is most scared of is John Cusack.
Oh,
that is absolute gold.
So John Cusack,
wow.
Just dead behind the eyes.
Do you think it was,
it was say anything,
right?
Is that where he holds?
Isn't that where he holds the,
right. Do you think that was it? That was when he died a that where he holds isn't that where he holds the yeah right do
you think that was it that was when he died a little bit inside probably yeah so it might it
might just have been because so i was gonna save this i was gonna save this fun fact from later on
at the end but i'll just give it to you now okay now all right it might have just been the
environment that he met john kuzak in on conair because john kuzak
famously hates this he hates it he hates conair he famously hates cunning okay he will not answer
questions about conair refuses to absolutely refuses to answer any questions about it um
he's gone on record saying he hates it after it filmed he got on record i
think he won't during his filming um saying he hated it um and as well as john malkovich
has gone on record uh during filming and after filming saying he hated the he hated doing con
air it was the worst one of the worst movies he's ever done. Part of the reason was because Con Air
was constantly rewriting its script
while shooting.
So it's impossible
to get in a flow
or get comfortable with the character.
It's impossible. Exactly. And like John
Malkovich and John Cusack, they're not
known for action movies. They're known for
like, you know, artsy. Method acting
and like really diving into
the character and feeling the emotion exactly i'm gonna do a movie where the only thing that
matters is explosions was probably a little a little different for them but my favorite thing
in regards to them changing the script every day is this john malkovich quote
where he goes because he refused he refused to do the press circuit for the movie like you know
when they send people yeah yeah that's amazing he refused to do it because quote i didn't know
what my character was doing i didn't know what my character did and i don't know what my character
ended up doing wow nice that's a that's a resounding two thumbs up from the actor. How dysfunctional of a production do you have to have for one of your lead actors to not know what their character did in a movie?
It's unbelievable.
I love that, though.
All right. Now, before we dig too deep into some of the side characters after that, you know, ringing endorsement from John Malkovich on this movie.
Brandon, we got to talk a little bit deeper about our main character, because this might be our only chance to talk about the one and only Nick Cage and how much he crushes each and every role he's in.
But I have to ask, what is your favorite Nick Cage movie of all time?
Oh, my favorite Nick Cage movie of all time.
Because there's a lot of good choices.
I know this isn't going to be yours, but don't forget Ghost Rider, right?
That masterpiece out there.
Ghost Rider.
Don't sleep on Ghost Rider.
Is it The Family Man or something?
I didn't like that one.
Yeah, I think it's The Family Man, yeah.
Raising Arizona, Leaving Las Vegas.
Did you ever see Valley Girls?
I didn't see that, but Raising Arizona is a classic. Valley Girls is
late 80s, and I believe
it is
Nick Cage's first
feature film, Valley Girls.
It's a young,
young Nick Cage.
Yeah. And it's
fantastic. Highly recommend it.
But not my favorite movie.
My favorite Nick Cage
movie of all time.
That's tough.
Con Air is definitely up there
Con Air is probably like top 5 top 3
yeah easy
it's not my favorite though
um
oh gosh
do you want me to hit you with mine
yeah hit me with yours
so mine is
an absolute classic
it is Gone in 60 Second seconds that was like my first like real
exposure to nick cage where i was like man this movie is awesome angelina jolie and you know in
her young prime it was a another star-studded cast. Big Papa Void started, right? Oh, yeah.
Big Papa V.
Oh, man.
I loved Gone in 60 Seconds.
I thought it was a badass premise.
The plot was amazing.
The cast was very well done.
Just from beginning to end, I loved everything about that movie.
Okay.
Gone in 60 Seconds is a good one.
Yeah.
This is not my favorite, National fucking Treasure dude Oh absolutely
That's probably number two
Gone in 60 Seconds, National Treasure
And then Con Air
Oh okay
And then National Treasure 2
Probably four
Okay
I'm going to give you
Top four because i'm gonna include
national treasure okay number one it has to be face off oh i forget about face i haven't seen
face off in so long it's i i've i watched it a bunch um over this last year because it's on TNT or whatever all the time.
Okay.
Or USA Network or whatever.
They always play it.
And since I'm working from home, they always play it in the middle of the day or whatever.
So I just turn it on.
It's such that you like this.
Con Air is batshit crazy.
It's a batshit crazy movie.
Face Off takes that to like you know
the fucking stratosphere for those who are not familiar
with face off it's a movie
where
John Travolta who plays
yeah I some kind of
agency and he's trying
to track down Nicolas Cage
who is a terrorist for hire
yes and so
essentially essentially what happens is they switch faces
yeah it's so so if you can if you can wrap your mind around it john travolta is is acting as if
he was nicholas cage and nicholas cage is acting as if he was john travolta it's two insane people trying to be even more insane.
It's a cinematic masterpiece.
Absolutely.
I think that all you need to do is look at, look who's talking and look who's talking to, to know what you're dealing with when it comes to John Travolta.
Oh, John Travolta is insane.
Yeah.
He's a legit insane person i love those movies they they were
they were so good look who's talking now when the dogs is that talking whoa is that is that
way it's it's him and uh who's the who's who's the mom chris christy shields christy alley Chris Christie Shields Christie Alley Christie Alley Yeah okay
Yeah yeah those movies are interesting too
But if
Everybody needs to do themselves a favor
And go and watch Face Off
Alright alright I'll go look it up
It might be on Amazon Prime
Go watch it again because it's fan-fucking-tastic
If you haven't watched it in a while
There's yeah
It's just I don't want to spoil it for you it's
fantastic though anything anything that you would think i would really love an action movie i bet
you it's in face off oh nice okay it's one of those one of those movies okay so all right um
and then number two uh number two is probably the rock with sean connery where they break it
where they like oh yeah i forgot about that one too that is a good Rock with Sean Connery where they break it. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that one, too.
That is a good one. Yeah.
That one's directed by Michael
Bay. So it's just nothing
but explosion.
The
Michael Bay Transformer
movies will always be the best.
I'm not that
big of a fan of the Transformers movies, but his
other stuff like The Rock is fantastic.
Okay. Sean Connery
is great, too. When they do him on
SNL Jeopardy, that's
a good step. When Will
Farrell, they, you know,
Will Farrell hosts. Man, I love that one.
Yeah, so number one, Face Off.
Number two, The Rock.
Yeah, okay.
Number three, I think, would be be con air and then four national treasure
national treasure is awesome oh you know who else is in national treasure maybe we just said this
but big papa v john voight plays his oh yeah big papa big papa voight yeah man he's coming up all
over the place angelina jolie and Gone in 60 Seconds.
And then her dad, John Boy, and the other Nicolas Cage favorite, National Treasure.
That's good stuff.
Yeah. Okay.
So those are my top four Nicolas Cage movies.
I would put Con Air number three.
Yeah, I'd put Con Air number three, too.
Yeah, it's just ridiculous.
Should we break down the plot for people that might not have seen it or might not be aware?
Yeah, yeah.
Run down the plot for everyone, and then we can dive into some of the big characters.
Because there's some big names, and I want to talk about some of the characters.
Yeah.
Okay, so here's the IMDb synopsis real quick real short and
sweet it's a newly paroled ex-con and former u.s ranger cameron poe and he's he's in prison
because after he got after he was uh honorably discharged from the u.s rangers he he goes home
to see his wife who is a waitress at a bar and right as soon as he
walks in and starts like hugging his wife these three these three uh just maniacs um that are
regulars at the bar come up to him and they pick a fight with them because they they hate they hate
him for his service first of all which is insane insane. They make jokes about him being a veteran.
Like what redneck from the South hates veterans?
It doesn't make any sense.
But the quote I love so much is as he's like walking away from Nick Cage the first time, he goes,
Pussy's like, you are the reasons we lost Vietnam.
Oh, my God.
That was out of control.
And then you're probably going to get to this, but he takes them out with a Hulk punch.
A one-punch death punch.
So they jump him as he's kind of leaving him and Monica Potter, who plays his wife wife who is supposed to be pregnant but is like the skinniest
has the the skinniest like tightest belly that i've ever seen in the history of the world yeah
there's no way that lady was pregnant that happens sometimes brandon you know you don't know shit
about pregnancy i i know so much about pregnancy i worry skinny skinny pregnant journeys As a former fetus, Heath
I know lots about pregnancy
Get the fuck out of here
But so they jump him as they're leaving for the night
And yes, he does the
He Hulk punches one of them
He does like the palm to the nose
Yeah, and it breaks the nose
Up into the skull
Which means death
And he gets sentenced To the maximum Yeah, and it breaks the nose up into the skull, which means death. And kills him.
And he gets sentenced.
So this is another thing.
To the maximum, because he is considered a dangerous weapon being trained by the military.
Yeah, yeah.
That's the judge's reasoning.
First of all, his lawyer comes in right away, and it's like, you need to take the plea bargain.
There's nothing I can do for you. Even though this was self-defense, it was three on plea bargain there's nothing i can do for you even though this was self-defense it was three on one there's nothing i can do for you yeah and
they're gonna throw the book at you and set you as an example that marines are not allowed to defend
their girlfriend wife their pregnant wife pregnant from being potentially raped and murdered yes but then he gets he gets sentenced to 10 years that's got
to be the max seven he the his exact sentence is seven to ten years do they give sentences over a
period of time like that i figured they would sentence you to uh you know to 10 years or to
seven years do they give it do they give it over ranges no but they
usually do like uh like 20 years with the possibility of parole and that usually yeah
but that's where the range would be like 15 to 20 yes but this his exact sentence word for word
was seven to ten years that doesn't make any sense yeah anyways anyways keep keep driving
so then so that happens at the very beginning and then he spends i think i think they said he
spends eight years in prison um so he spends eight years he's finally getting off on parole
and so he uh finds himself uh on the jailbird which is a prisoner transport plane that is transporting him
it's transporting him to alabama uh back home because he's in oakland the prison he's in is
in oakland so it's transporting him and his bet his his new uh best friend jail buddy baby oh uh who you may recognize from oh my gosh the one and only did you did you
want to do like the fried shrimp broiled shrimp shrimp stewed shrimp potatoes shrimp scampi
i thank you i think you just did it yeah oh man that's all i could think of the whole time i love forest and and bubba's friendship it
just it's a beautiful thing and like when he's like actually sorry i won't even go into it because
you know it's funny like talking about that movie kelly literally yesterday was like
listen i want to watch forest gump with you but i cannot allow for you to sit there the entire two hours and say every fucking line
and so so i can watch it again but there are rules upon this watching right so i won't i won't
dig too deep into that but man i loved him as bubba just crushed it bubba gump shrimp yeah but
so he plays uh baby oh in in con air and so they're getting trained
they're on this transport plane with the worst of the worst criminals is what they i think is
what they say um the as as bad of criminals as you can get because like an all-star game
because so they're transporting um nick cage uh cameron poe toe to Alabama because that's where he's from.
So he's going on parole.
So he's getting out.
But everybody else is being transported to Alabama so they can go to a brand new state-of-the-art high security prison to house the worst of the worst.
So it's literally the worst criminals you can think of in the world and nick cage that's there's a there's a
weird meta moment uh where he's talking to baby like halfway through the movie and he basically
said he like basically lays out everything that's happened so far in the movie he's like well some
perfect storm of of coincidences we've ended up on a plane with the worst of the worst criminals uh and we're just
trapped in the middle of it or something like that yeah yeah with uh as you're preparing to go into
diabetic although although they sound like a real win oh yeah baby baby has diabetes and he goes
into he's he goes into diabetic shock uh yeah but uh i wanna they don't ever mention what babyo does
right because baby oh no they never they never get into it. Baby-O has to be
one of the... Why else would he
be on this plane if he's not one of the worst of the worst?
And they...
There's a line at the beginning when he's
in prison and he gets... When the cage gets his
parole letter or whatever. And Baby-O
says something along the lines of, man, I'll
never see my name on one of those papers.
So Baby-O... Baby-O
must have done something pretty terrible.
Maybe he was like a gang hitman
or something. I don't know, man.
Right? He is
the prison librarian, though.
Yeah.
Maybe he just read
too much. That's why they threw him in jail.
Oh, man. We'll dig into the characters
a little bit more. Keep driving this part.
Are we done?
So they're on the plane.
They get transported to Alabama.
And that's when John Malkovich,
Cyrus the Virus,
and is it
Ving Rhames? Is that who plays it?
Yeah, Ving Rhames.
Who plays Nathan Diamond Dog Jones.
Everybody has code names, by the way. Diamond Dog is definitely the Diamond Dog Jones. Everybody has code names,
by the way. Diamond Dog is
definitely the... Diamond Dog
and Swamp Thing are definitely the top two.
But Cyrus the Virus is
good. Pinball.
Dave Chappelle. There's a real tall
Aryan-looking guy whose codename is
Viking.
That's a little on the nose.
Viking has a
tattoo around his neck that is like uh dashed lines and then it
says cut here that's awesome i did not notice that it's amazing here it's ridiculous um what
an inspiration is that your next tattoo brandon? Absolutely. Absolutely. But yeah, so Cyrus the Virus
and Diamond Dog,
they hatched this whole plan
with pretty much all the other
inmates where they take over
the plane. They break out of their restraints.
They break out of their little cages.
They kill a couple guards. They kill one guard
by jamming the edge
of the handcuff into his neck.
Yeah. When they overrun the plane, it is one guard by jamming uh and the edge of the handcuff into his neck yeah rough uh when they
overrun the plane it is awesome because chapelle like pull like has the string and he has like the
the gas and the match in a condom in his stomach and he like pulls it up and then he lights the
dude next to him on fire oh my god. He's like the Native American guy.
Also, before we get any farther,
I do want to point out
this movie
is fantastic. I highly recommend watching it, but
I also will attest
that it is
quite possibly the most
racist film I've ever seen.
Yeah, yeah. It was
before the times of like people paying attention to that.
They just,
they just really leaned into it.
It's just non nonstop.
Like,
like race jokes.
It's just nonstop race jokes.
Being Graham's character is a,
he was part of the black gorillas.
So he's a,
he's a, he's a big black guy
that hates white people and bombed the NRA.
Dave Chappelle, the other
black guy, is a crackhead.
Which his characters
It's just literally
Danny Trejo's the
Mexican rapist.
Every single character is a
racist stereotype. Every single one of them.
But Steve Buscemi as
Garland Green, the Marietta
Mangler, definitely
took the cake for me.
I live real close to
Marietta now, Heath.
I was there for a little bit.
I'm in his... Just a spell.
I'm right in his kill zone.
He's free. He got
away at the end
That was the part that I really
Forgot that he is just on the loose
To like murder people
And chop them up
And snack on them
I love Garland Green because he has a couple lines
In the movie
That make you think
Maybe he's you know
And he doesn't kill the girl He lets her think maybe he's you know you know and he doesn't kill the the girl
he lets her live maybe maybe he's rehabilitated you know what i can't i i couldn't find it and
i forgot to write it down but when he does like his definition of insanity that was oh yeah when
it talks about is murdering people insane or is is working nine to five at a at a job that'll fire you out of nowhere
more insane yeah he basically he basically gives you the moral like dilemma in fight club but
within like a five second sentence yeah exactly that that was good when he what's true insanity
the way he describes that one guy of being like just a total fucking stereotype
his mom either hugged him too much or not enough yeah oh my gosh he's like it doesn't matter which
way you want to go with it he's the fucking stereotype of it all yeah and then he has
he has another he has another line where when he's talking to camera poe about how you know and i
he's talking about how some most murders are committed out of necessity not out of passion
you know and so he talks about that for a little while and then he talks about then he goes on to
talk about how like the like crazy people like uh gacy and dom or who did it for fun
it was a real he was he was just throwing moral dilemmas
that you left and right you know oh my gosh well and he he said that he like wore a girl's head
down as a hat wore her head as a hat oh my god it's and like when he starts singing he's got
the whole world in his hands with that little girl.
You are just on pins and needles. And I love the way they describe him as he makes the Manson family look like the Partridge family.
The way he killed those people.
They have a lot of great one-liners like that.
There's another line when John Cusack is talking about John Malkovich,
Cyrus the Virus' character, and he says he's killed more men than cancer.
Yes.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, here it is.
I found my note on it.
He drove through three states with her head as a hat.
Her head as a hat?
How do you even keep her head on top of you?
I don't even want to know.
How does that work, Heath?
Walk me through it, Heath.
I do not want to walk you through that.
That is just absolutely horrifying to think about.
There's another line that I had to stop and think about and try to do the math on this.
It's John Cusack talking to Cole Meanymini's character uh duncan the two agents talking
back and forth i like when they calls him
thesaurus boy that's
all he calls him he calls him dictionary boy
and then john kusek says i think
thesaurus boy technically yeah
um more their
their whole relationship is uh that's another thing
we need to talk about but when he steals the
car but uh but so john
kusek is talking about john malkovich and he steals the car but uh but so john cusack is
talking about john malkovich and he says the dude is 39 years old cyrus the virus 39 years old
he spent he's has spent 25 years in our institutions and so he he basically he says
he tells komini he's like the the the poster child for whatever.
So he spent 25 years of his 39 years in some kind of institution.
Yeah, he's the poster child for the criminally insane and an indictment on the prison system. Yes, okay.
So he only had 14 years.
He says 25 years of it have been in institutions.
So that means he has 14 years of free life, right?
So that would mean either he was perfectly fine up until he was 14 years old, and then he killed more men than cancer and then got thrown in jail or he got thrown in juvie at like seven came out for a
little went back in you know like the the math on that well what a what a life this guy must have
led to have spent 25 years of institutions i mean he basically got a master's degree in crime spending it in all of like the most you know like penitentiaries right
like and he does such a good job of like the just the way he portrays cyrus the virus his mannerisms
like the way he delivers the lines it is like perfect right like john malkovich crushes he crushes but i don't think he meant
to crush because as i said earlier he didn't know what he was doing that was but like that was the
best part right because like they had no idea what they were doing the whole time in the plane and it
like came off as that it's just like a chaotic disaster the whole time and that's what it was and so like you were
riding with him the whole time where he was just improvising because that's what would happen in
that moment yeah i mean diamond dog and pinball like i mentioned the script changed day to day
literally day to day during shooting and so a lot of a lot of the lines were improvised especially
i read something like all of dave chapelle's lines he improvised
oh i love and he played pinball parker and that was one of my favorite characters when he's like
oh it smells like someone's shit in your mouth and then he goes he told me he loved me
and then cracked me up and then uh when he when he lights the the dude on fire next to him and he's like, what does he say?
He goes like, hey, chief, if you come out of this on the other end, OK, I hope you don't hold a grudge.
Oh, my gosh. He does such.
And then I love the way they kill him off, too, is that he gets he gets distracted hitting on the attendant at the at the hangar and then gets stuck in the landing equipment.
Yep.
Gets stuck in the landing equipment.
And then they just write a message on him.
Just kick him down and lands in the middle of the road on that dude's car.
That's another great line.
Yeah, they kick him out of the plane.
So he lands on a dude's car. Right another great that's another great line yeah they they kick him out of the plane so he lands on a dude's car right after a bird poops on his car which wow comedy gold so comedy freaking gold so he lands on the car so then the cops come and the
the message that nicholas cage wrote on his on his shirt which i don't know how that message is still
there falling from that likeing from that distance,
that body would have like...
Splatter. Yeah, yeah. That shirt, I think,
would have been disintegrated. But anyway,
the message he writes on the shirt
is to contact Agent Larkin,
who is John Cusack's character.
Yeah, because it holds up
like it just fell three
stories from the building.
So the cop who
arrives at the scene calls agent larkin and is like hey this dude just fell from the sky
got you on speed dial yeah but he goes the line he says is he goes hey agent larkin i got a message
for you it was on a dude that fell from the sky yeah pretty sure he's not an astronaut
i forgot about that line that was gold too oh man pretty sure he's not an astronaut. I forgot about that line.
That was gold too.
Pretty sure he's not an astronaut.
It just had him on speed dial right away.
Oh my gosh.
And then, gosh, so the one-liners in this are just insane.
And a lot of them like i mentioned are improvised
um it's just crazy another thing i want to point out is um the the fashion the like um
pretty much everybody in the plane's wearing like prison garb and and and uh and or like prison guard
stuff but the suits that john cusack and like cole meanie and the other agents are wearing
were like peak 90s where everything's like three sizes too big it's all super baggy it's all like
john cusack's wearing like a like a white suit for some reason why wouldn't he god i guess he's
trying to very miami vice but like the itinded me how terrible fashion was in the mid
90s like nobody knew how to fit
How to like tailor or fit anything
It's just like the baggiest
Clothes that you could find I miss
You know the baggy clothes
Remember I never had any but I bet
You had JNCOs Brandon
JNCO jeans I did not
But do you remember like the like all
The jeans had the white JNCO jeans? I did not. But do you remember like the, like all the jeans had the wide... I think I could pull off
JNCO jeans. Well, and like all the
jeans had the wide bottoms. And so
if you are from a state
where it snows...
Yeah, it was a drag.
And then, yeah, well,
okay, so you have the
wide bottoms, you're in a state that it
snows, and then all of a sudden that
moisture starts to creep up
by by like lunchtime in school you have like water halfway up your thigh from yeah from the snow oh
man how do you not miss those days did i i hate like wide bottom anything it's a classic step
everyone needs it i wanted to make a jingo bar crawl remember yeah yeah uh yeah jingos were my
worst fucking nightmare i hated those things i hated any any kind of like wide bottom pants
like i i i just can't do it i need my i need my pants to be form-fitting you know all right well
to each their own plus like baggy like those you just look like an idiot with like baggy pants i think it's hilarious
like those big extra baggy ones yeah it's hilarious because they look like idiots
okay i mean it's still great stuff hold on wait before we go too far off kilter too i have to
mention my favorite john malkovich line because it was so good where um the guy was
uh begging for his life and he was like please sigh and then john malkovich goes anara and burns
the dude alive you can tell that wasn't the first time he did that to somebody he killed
where they did because he because he cuts them off perfectly the dude's about to say cyrus yeah burned alive okay sorry what were you gonna say i just had to that had to
be said before the end of the spot cole mean his character is a dea agent and he's his main
objective there is one of the people that's being transported is like a south american drug dealer yeah he's trying to get he's trying to to get a confession from him before he's transported
uh to alabama where the fbi is going to interview him yeah and he's a huge dick
call me he's a huge dick he hates so this is another thing that i loved it's a like a overly exaggerated illustration but it's it like perfectly
encapsulates when uh or when like back in the 90s and way before then and even still to a certain
degree now that the art like the the american like justice system from like top to bottom
refuses to talk to each other but no no he ever wants to help another agency
because they don't want the other person to get credit for it you know like yeah exactly there's
zero information um shared between agencies and so like this is a perfect illustration where the dea
he hates john cusack because he's a u.S. marshal, and then he hates the FBI.
He hates everybody that's not a DEA agent.
It's just every agency is out for – they're looking out for them and only them.
It's not about justice.
It's not about anything.
It's about what can I get credit for.
And how can I get promoted?
Wow, a real indictment.
I mean, and that's still going on today.
We won't get into that. It still going on. It's going.
It's lesser on now because of all the tragedies that happened.
It's even worse.
The FBI has become an absolute joke.
Yeah.
Okay.
Sorry not to get us shut down, but, you know, it's rough stuff out there.
Yes.
But yeah, everybody just refused to talk to each other.
But I just love that.
Because Cole Meany comes in right out the gate, not even knowing who John Cusack is, and is like, this motherfucker is the worst because he's a U.S. Marshal.
Jesus Christ, man.
He comes in with that convertible and just is a huge tool.
Did you see the license plate on the convertible?
Yeah, I forget what it was, though. It's ass kicker a z that's right as kicker as kicker uh colemania has a
great one-liner um because john cusack has shown he's got away with words right he's the dictionary
boy he's a little bit intelligent colemania thinks that means he's in it thinks that means he's like
not a man or whatever so there's a
there's a line where
so Cole or so John Cusack
is by himself at
the airfield trying to stop the the plane
where and then everybody else
got turned around into a different
location and they're asking where John
Cusack is and Cole Meany's character
goes why are you even
Asking where he is he's probably off saving the fucking
Rainforest yeah
That's
Like when he was like talking
Shit in that chopper yeah
Remember when karen about the environment made you
Not a man he's yeah it's a
Real lame those those are the
Good old days yeah it's
A bunch of hippies trying to
save the rainforest. Bunch of hippie
fucking bullshit.
That's him
and Cartman both both hating
the hippies.
Oh, yeah. So that
was the one liner from I think he has a couple
other ones. He just fucking he hates everybody.
He fucking hates everybody.
It just it was
so good and then did we did we talk about steve buscemi singing he's got the whole world in his
hands and he's how utterly terrifying okay i just he thought that was i thought it was calming
especially when they're crashing on the strip and he started singing That was nice and calming. I just like his character. He did such a good job of being a complete sociopath.
I mean, he's the only one who doesn't doesn't commit any illegal activities throughout the movie, though.
I mean, yes, except that he was proven guilty for killing at least 30 people up and down
the seaboard, the eastern seaboard.
They didn't say he was proven
guilty. They said he confessed.
He confessed.
If we
know anything about coerced confessions,
you know, that shit's real.
Maybe he was
forced into a confession.
Listen, he's not usher those are not
his confession i would i would need i would need to take a look at the case file in order to to
to fully express my opinion on this but i'm just gonna take take a look at the tape yeah yeah
exactly all i know is that he confessed but then he did not commit any crimes during this movie
he's the only one that doesn't commit a crime,
even fucking Nicholas cage and John Cusack's committed crimes,
you know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean,
it's fully rehabilitated.
The Marietta Mangler.
You heard,
you heard it here first.
Fully rehabilitated.
It really was the movie.
You can basically break up into like, what is it like, you know, a certain amount of sections.
There's the first section where he like first gets on the plane and they take it over.
Then there's the new people that come on board.
Then there's the landing where they crash land and pull the plane out and have like the battle you know with the army and everyone and
then there's the crash landing on the vegas strip uh which which is the final final conclusion yeah
absolutely insane but but yeah so so we get to the strip the the the end here where they crash
on the strip um John Cusack
Cole Meade they all get there
They start wrinkling up all the bad guys
And then
We see Cyrus the Virus
Swamp Thing and Diamond Dog
Are able to sneak off of the plane
And into a fire truck
And I love that Cyrus the Virus
Is just like
Hanging out on top for all the world to see
on the top of the ladder so swamp thing gets into the it gets into the is it still called a cockpit
even if even it's a if it's a car i i think it's just gets in the driver's seat of the fire truck
okay but so he's uh he's driving the cockpit of the fire truck there yeah so he's
driving the fire truck and then you have diamond dog hanging off the back he's doing a terrible
job with the fire truck too he's running into fucking everything and he's over correcting his
turns like a lunatic he just he's used to flying a plane they're a lot you know they're not as
sensitive he's i mean that sounds like excuses for our boy m MC Ganey just not doing a great job.
I will give MC Ganey every excuse in the book.
All right.
I'm just holding him accountable.
He's got an 18-foot-long leash with me.
He can do whatever he wants.
Did you absolutely love it, too, when John Cusack and Nick Cage saw Cyrus on the fire truck at the same time
and they both saddle up To the police motorcycles
And then they look at
They give each other the nod
For the high speed chase when in actuality
It should be like hey you are a US citizen
Get off the fucking
Police bike
No dude he's
He's gonna save the fucking day
Oh that was
That right there was my absolute favorite line Probably save the fucking day. Oh, that right there was my absolute favorite line.
Probably save the fucking day.
So they drive away on the fire truck.
You have Diamond Dog hanging off the back.
Cyrus the Virus is on top on where the ladder is.
And they're driving down.
And so Cusack and Cage are chasing him down on the bikes.
And Cage wrecks his bike and throws it into the fire truck, and he kills Diamond Dog.
Yeah, that was absolutely epic.
I'm pretty sure I can pull it off.
I got faith in you, Heath.
I think you can do it.
Right on.
Thanks for believing in me.
Yeah, absolutely.
If there's one guy who can do it, Heath, it's you.
Yeah, that belief right there is all I need to accomplish it.
So keep an eye out on your local news.
But so they're chasing him down to kill Diamond Dog.
And then that's when John Cusack cops on the fire truck and starts spraying, filling the cockpit with water.
That's my favorite moment
he's fucking filling it like a fishbowl and mc gamey is like drowning while he's driving a fire
truck and if that is not cinematic gold i really honestly don't know what it is i don't so then
he ends up crashing because of that into uh like an overpass right like a little walkway overpass
which so cyrus the virus is on the ladder on the back of the fire truck he goes through the
overpass gets flung onto a bunch of power lines falls through the power lines into like uh an
industrial like cement factory or some shit that's in the middle of the strip because why not of course but not only does
he fall into there he falls onto a conveyor belt that then rolls him off into like the smash zone
is what i'm going to call it so it's like the you know the the little uh up and down uh levy things
that smash rocks yeah yeah so his head falls perfectly into there to where the rock would be.
And the thing comes down and dunzo for,
for Cyrus,
the virus.
Yeah.
If you're a game of Thrones fan,
it's like,
uh,
when the mountain and the red Viper,
you know,
met at their,
for their final battle.
Okay.
Yeah.
That's fair.
Remember when the Viper's head got popped?
Like,
is it?
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
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So, yeah, that's the end of the movie.
Saves the day.
Saves the day, Heath.
And then his wife and daughter
right there to so i want to greet him i want to talk about this this is brandon's parenting
corner i'm bringing this back because i need to talk about this youth so he spent some real
rough parenting in this movie let's talk about cameron poe and his his his family here so
his his daughter his his wife is pregnant when he comes back from u.s army rangers
right yeah hopefully that's his kid when when was the last time he had leave would it make sense
that it's that that that he was in the u.s army and then she got pregnant we we got to check the
dates on that we you know especially with all these these these regulars she's got that are so quick to kill
somebody for her and then um so and then he goes to jail before cassie is it cassie or casey it's
casey right casey yeah before casey is born he goes to jail before casey is born and while he's
in jail for eight years while casey is growing up he refuses to let her see him in jail
he refuses to visit her he writes her letters and they exchange like gifts packages or whatever
and letters all the time which is nice but he straight up refuses to see her while he's in jail
yeah because that doesn't make he doesn't want her to see her that or see him that way which
i mean that's surrounded by murder that doesn't really that doesn't want her to see her that or see him that way, which I mean, that's surrounded by murder.
That doesn't really that doesn't check out, though.
Like he's flat out refuses to see his daughter that he's never met before.
She doesn't he doesn't want her to think of him as a caged animal.
But so, OK, but so then then when does he actually meet her?
You know, he's he literally just killed like 15 people.
Because now he is a hero,
even though technically saving your wife from being mugged and assaulted
would also make you a hero, except for one weird judge's eyes.
But I just didn't put, I don't get why he refused to see her and then he
and then so he buy it before he gets on the plane he bought he somehow buys a bunny like a little
stuffed bunny from the the prison commissary i think i assume that's where he got it i don't
know why the prison would be selling stuffed bunnies but yeah it's you gotta give one to
your lady when she comes on visit that i get i guess i guess but
but so he common practice brandon but so that bunny goes through a lot throughout the plane
that bunny has a horrific yeah really goes through it almost gets murdered a few times
gets almost washed down the drain yep it somehow dries off very quickly i don't think it was dry
when he handed it to her why would he give her that fucking bunny
dude that bothered me why would he give her that bunny it's fucking disgusting yeah it was absolutely
it was covered in rain like dirty sewer water yeah uh probably blood yeah and had been groped
by at least three different murderers yeah like why would you want that to be the first thing your daughter owns from you
is like a weird abduction prison murder buddy yeah i'm gonna go on record here for brandon's
parenting quarter uh cameron poe terrible father bro f minus yeah f minus f and whatever his wife's name You know probably a D plus at best
Trisha Poe
Yeah D plus
I would need to see more of the
Life with her and Casey
Give you a final judgment
But not looking great
At least during this stretch
It was real
Real tough
Just terrible parenting all around and then you know
you factor that in with all the the parents of all these murderers not a great not a great look
for parents you know what was steve we should be to say either hugged by his mom too much or not
enough yeah either way it's all about balance guys you got to find the middle ground middle ground not too many hugs but not too few
it's that's that's the parenting advice for this episode not too many hugs not too few
take that to the bank keith life is about balance you know firm but gentle
that's how i like to do things so you get ahead so so yeah con air whatever and i i always love when
like when movies have that moment where they say the name of the movie welcome to con air
this is a yeah i fucking love that too because he he steals the gun from the pilot.
Yeah.
That second pilot made the
number one mistake that you don't
make when you're in that situation.
You don't open the cockpit door.
Yeah. There's no
reason at all you should open that cockpit.
You just keep that son of a bitch barricaded.
Yeah, exactly.
He had to try to be a hero and he fucking cost everybody yeah just and he was no fucking hero
this was this was pre-911 so maybe they didn't they didn't have that room yet yeah i don't know
i'm not with that i'm not a pilot i don't i don't know when when the dates all coincided but yeah
yeah he made the number one rule but yeah so Cyrus the Survivor steals the gun
from that pilot and then he
comes down and he shoots the gun in the air
to get everybody to stop
because this is when the fucking melee is going on
and they're killing guards
so he shoots the gun
and he's like I've got the only gun
on board guys
welcome to Con Air
a thing of absolute beauty right there
and you knew that's when the movie had really started
oh yeah yeah that's everything before that was the cold open yeah it was it was awesome um
but what a what a great opportunity to rewatch this movie.
I haven't watched it in forever.
And, you know, anything with an amazing Mighty Ducks tie-in and MC Ganey as Swamp Thing, our boy, podcast favorite, a.k.a.
Lewis, the bus driver, the equipment man, the heart, the soul, the ducks.
The assistant coach ducks the assistant coach
he absolutely
crushes this movie
and his role as Swamp Thing
makes a great entrance, makes a great
exit
he's fantastic, yeah
he absolutely crushes it
10 out of 10
oh, well I mean it's that time of the show i think brandon
where we we give i already forgot what our rating system was so we're giving it out of five cake
yes out of five cakes we're doing from one to five the one to five cake i take back my 10 out
of 10 rating i gotta i take it back. Yeah, you better dial that shit back
real quick. We also do allow
decimals. We do
allow the decimal system.
I encourage decimals.
Yeah, yeah. Real
numbers nerd, but all right.
Out of five
cakes, Brandon, what
would you rate Con Air?
I think I know mine.
I think I am going to go a 3.85 on this one.
3.85?
3.85 cakes for Conair.
You're going double, Desi.
Yeah, I'm getting real in the weeds on this one for you, Brandon.
Just for you.
3.85 cakes okay i'm gonna
give con air oh gosh i'm gonna give con air oh gosh this is tough is it better than heavyweights
i'm trying to i'm trying to weigh that here is it better better than heavyweights? I don't think it is.
Yeah.
I'm going to go slightly.
I think I gave heavyweights a 3.7. I'm going to give
Conair a 3.6.
Nice.
And that lines
up because I tend
to grade
much nicer than what it probably deserves.
Yeah.
That's just my personality.
That's me.
This movie,
just under heavyweights, but
heavyweights in this movie have very different
target audiences.
That's where I would
lean towards.
If you're looking for like a
a kid's movie or like a happy go if you're looking for like a family movie you go heavyweights if
you're looking for some you know some raw testosterone filled action you go connor yeah
yeah yeah but you know still a great movie to watch i i recommend it highly recommend it i highly recommend it for people who
uh for people who enjoy weird movies or like yeah like left field that's not really i guess left
just fun throwback movies if you if you don't care about your movie making sense this is the movie for you yeah yeah and and we we watched it on tnt tbs i streamed it
on like the tnt app that's what i did i did as well okay cool and so that i you know by the time
we release this who knows when such a movies jump all over the place i was gonna say when i was
watching it it said it was expiring uh that day i did too
yeah yeah so there's a chance that it's no longer streaming on tnt but just you know do a quick
google search you're an adult you know you have fucking thumbs you can type it into your phone
sorry that might have been a little aggressive i didn't mean to be aggressive but you know you
can find it you'll be able to it's on uh i believe it's on hulu as well. Hulu is great.
It's on Hulu and then you can also buy it or rent it
from Amazon.
Amazon Prime, you can always rent shit there.
It's such a great movie.
Everybody should buy it.
The information I'm looking at right now
says $3.99
to rent it on Amazon.
I'm wondering how much it is.
Probably like $10 to buy it.
Maybe $12.
Just go ahead and buy it.
You're going to want to watch it more than once.
Just go ahead and buy it. thanks for listening everyone please remember to follow and like us on Instagram at The Cake Eaters Pod,
on Twitter at The Cake Eaters. Also reach out to us via email, thecakeeaterspod at gmail.com
or visit our website, thecakeeaterspod.com.