The Cake Eaters - 4. Game Changers Episode 4: Hockey Moms

Episode Date: June 22, 2021

Heath & Brandon discuss more parenting tips, vintage Zambonis, Brandon's go-to date move in high school, Heath's preference for Dungeon Master moms, and then break down the rest of Episode 4 of the new Mighty Ducks: Game Changers series on Disney+.   Follow us at www.thecakeaterspod.com and on Twitter (@thecakeeaters) and Instagram (@thecakeeaterspod)   Email us at [e-mail]

Remember, it's not worth winning if you can't win! Welcome everybody, as we kind of get started here, I just want to remind everybody that you should follow along with us. We're on Twitter at The Cake Eaters and we're on Instagram as well at The Cake Eaters Pod. You can also find all of our information at thecakeeaterspod.com. We have emails up if you ever want to email in. That would be thecakeeaterspod at gmail.com. So with that said, Heath, we got episode four. We got Hockey Moms. How are you feeling about this?

Well, you know, we were pumped going into this episode. It did not quite live up to the pedestal on which we placed it upon. But I think that we still had a fairly decent episode. You know, we kick things off nicely with a very intense Ducks practice. You know, that's how we're kicking off this episode four. Coach T running the team, you know, they're flooding the ice. You know, just like we taught, he mentioned in the previous episode, they went. They flooded the ice. They're doing drills. They're moving. They're shaking. He has an excellent

line that he comes in with really hot where he says, hey team, I like to laugh at clowns not when clowns laugh at me because that's what the Don't Bothers were doing. Those Don't Bothers were laughing at the Ducks because they scored on them.

Yes. I forgot about the clown because even there's a line later in the episode where Sophie's wearing the Don't Bother jersey, and Coach T goes, why is she in a clown suit? Yes. I have never loved it. Coach T had some great one-liners. I feel like this episode, there was so many moving pieces

that it was a lot of, like, flashing, right? Like, there was a lot of quick movements on what was happening because, like, that was it for the Ducks practice. It was like Coach T, it was a really hard Ducks practice. Coach T has a funny one-liner, and then you just catch Sophie sprinting and almost missing the bus. Almost immediately after that. Because she's still practicing with the Ducks.

Yeah. Has that told parents? Yes. At the end of the last episode, she's like, yes, I want to be a don't bother, but we got to tell my parents. And then we see at the beginning of this episode, she does not want to tell her parents. She's putting it off as long as she can and practicing with both teams

because she leaves the Duck practice, hops on the bus and goes to the don't bothers practice double ds pulling double where where she is exhausted and not playing well um yeah coach t ran under the ground coach t runs her into the ground she's out there making the don't bothers feel some some buyer's remorse uh that maya had had a great line where she was like yeah it's like when you uh want to get with a hot guy and then you get with him and he's you realize he's actually not that hot yeah solid dating advice from a 12 year old so great yeah great dating. So great, yeah, great dating advice. But, you know, honestly, you know, they should just be fucking grateful that Sophie is on their team and let her be tired.

So I think that they just need to chill out with their buyer's remorse. I get where they're coming from. Granted, they don't know that she's pulling double duty. At least not right away. She does mention it to Evan later on in this practice scene. But Maya and Lauren, who she says the line to, they definitely don't know that she's pulling double duty. And honestly, I'd rather have no Sophie than a tired Sophie.

Have you ever been around a tired 12 year old they're worthless they don't do anything um I haven't been around a tired 12 year old recently so I wouldn't know that but they I'm sure they they that would not just be a pill um but yeah okay so that's a good point and she really does she just comes out hot with it she's like listen haven't told my parents. I'm scared. I'm still practicing with the ducks. I'm exhausted. And Alex and Evan are just like, listen, whatever you got to do, make sure they're in a good mood. We don't care. We just,

we are desperate at this point. Yeah. And then she goes, then Sophie says, my parents are never in a good mood and then hard cut to them being in the best mood they've ever been in. They're drinking wine. Their son just got into Harvard. What better mood could you be in right now? Wait, wait, wait.

Before we hard cut into the parents, we have to talk about our boy Nick the Stick and Winnie. Oh, yes. Where they had a very brief interaction. See, this is quick interactions, quick interactions. Yeah, it's just quick interactions, quick interactions. Yeah, it's one thing to the other in this episode. There's not a lot to kind of bite into. It's boom, boom, boom.

Yeah, it's just like rapid fire because now Nick is getting BFF advice from our girl Winnie, and we're seeing a friendship truly blossom. We assume that Winnie is still with Mustard Tim. Yep, she's still happy. She's not sad. Her spirits are up. She's got

the early 2000s baby blue eyeshadow, which matches her jacket. I lost my mind at that. I despise baby blue eyeshadow. Get it away from me. I don't want anything to do with it, Heath. We don't know anything about eyeshadow. Iise baby blue eyeshadow. Get it away from me. I don't want anything to do with it, Heath. We don't know anything about eyeshadow.

I know baby blue eyeshadow is the worst thing that's ever happened. Well, I have no opinion on any form of eyeshadows. I'm sure that whatever eyeshadow empowers Winnie to feel good leaving the home, that's what color of eyeshadow I want her to wear. As long as it's not baby blue. You're better than that, Winnie. You're better than that. So Nick's getting some BFF advice thinking, and this is a big deal, you know, he doesn't have a lot of friends, thinking he's graduating into best friendship to have a sleepover. Like he thinks it's time. You know, sleepovers, 12 years old, sleepovers, those are a big deal, man. Those are big deal sleepovers.

So he's asking Winnie if he should ask Evan to have a sleepover. But the event they're going to before the sleepover is him and Evan are seeing a movie. They're going to a movie together, right? That's right. Yeah. I love it because Nick asks when he – he's like, so when we go to the movie, should I save him a seat right next to me?

Or is that weird? Is that too weird? I knew it was weird. I knew it. I knew it. Classic overthinking. He's overthinking every little thing. That's it.

I wrote like being – like seeing him do that. I was like, Oh my God, he's just overthinking this to death because he just wants it to be so bright. He's just so desperate to have the best friend that he's, he's put getting, putting all these expectations on it that it's never going to live up to.

Yeah. Or no. Yeah. Or Nick. Well, you know, we're seeing the darker side of Nick on this where, you know, I, you know, desperation doesn't look good on him.

That cool confidence, that cool podcaster's confidence is when he's at his best. Even in desperation, he has a certain charm to him. It's not annoying. It's more lovable loser than anything.

It's not annoying. We love Nick. He's not annoying. It's more lovable loser than anything. It's not annoying. That's true. We love Nick. He's the star. Oh, yeah. Absolute star. Okay, so then after that, quick hard cut, and we see Sophie's parents in a good mood.

So I don't know if you had anything for this because I thought this was crazy. Oh, this is absolutely ridiculous. So their son, sophie's older brother i forget if they mention his name but they find out that he just got accepted into harvard early admission early admission into harvard they not only do they have a cake decked out in the harvard colors and the harvard seal and everything but But then they have Harvard sweatshirts for each family member, Sophie included.

Sophie's rocking the Harvard sweater. Yeah. And then their son drops the line where he goes, I want to thank you guys for realizing five years ago that Harvard would need a French horn player in their orchestra coming up. And then Sophie's like, that's why you play the French horn? Unreal. That's unbelievable.

That's where those college counselors, though, they're coming in clutch. You can't get that kind of detailed information if you're not hiring a college counselor. Listen, I don't know if I'm just going to be the worst parent ever in the history of parents, but I would never do that. That sounds crazy. That's how you end up with this just like a lunatic robot child. I don't know.

But anyways, what if he didn't like the French horn? That's all I'm saying. Like what if he didn't like the French horn? He just has to play it through college, and then he can drop it, you know? That was wild. Like, we have to figure out if people actually do stuff like that. Oh, I'm sure.

You really do think, like, that kind of research. And so, like, parents are doing research, like, okay, between Yale, Harvard, Brown, their orchestra, this is their orchestra lineup. They have two juniors and three sophomores. So with our child, they should be a clarinet. I guarantee you somebody somewhere is doing that kind of heavy lifting, that kind of research. Because you have the – remember the Lori Loughlin college admissions scandal where there was a guy who – all he did for his job was help people forge documents to get into college. So I guarantee you there's somebody out there that's doing doing that kind of research and like pay charging rich fucking assholes to to get that information i guarantee you somebody's doing it if not i need

to start doing it because that's a great idea go to a community college go to a trade school you you'll make a lot of money go be a roughneck and work in the oil to make a ton of money for five years and then go chill. College is a scam. But like that was, that really was just absolutely wild to me that people would go to those kinds of lengths or maybe I just don't, or maybe my expectations are too just are just too low. Cause it's like, well, cool. Just go to state school. It's fine. You'll get in.

No big deal yeah um but also i have one more thing like her like speaking of hard-ass parents her mom looked at sophie when she was getting down on a little bit of cake and she's like enjoy it while you can no carbs starting back tomorrow yeah go back on the diet yeah i just you know you just can't uh mess with uh a 12 year old girl's eating habits like that. You know, like that's a slippery slope, mom. Yeah. That's yeah. That's how you, that's just, uh, I mean, you know, trigger content warning here, you know, skip ahead if you need to, but that's, that's just asking for an eating disorder. Just asking for it. Absolutely.

And, you know, not to make light of the situation, but here at the Cake Eaters podcast, we do take it personally when moms tell their kids not to eat cake. Yes. Any diet that restricts cake is a hard no on us. Hard no. Ever heard of angel food? Like, what the fuck, mom?

Some red velvet? Yeah, like, shit's good. So anyways, yeah, that was a great scene. And then it immediately cuts again. So another quick scene. Cuts again. Now we're outside the Ice Palace.

Bombay's locking up. Alex makes a great one-liner. Like, oh, you sure you need to lock up? Is there anything to steal in there? The vintage Zamboni. That shit's expensive. Exactly. And you can get some primo dollars from that. And then all of a sudden, you know, who else,

who other than our favorite rolls up? Stephanie. I'm pretty sure it was an Escalade. Was it an Escalade or some form of car like that? It was. I don't think it was exactly an Escalade, but it was Escalade-esque for sure. I love that she's driving too. Yeah, she's driving. She's got her husband Clark

in the backseat. Or not the backseat, the frontseat. Shotgun. Ass in the back, Clark. Stephanie would make him ride in the back taxi style. So I was very curious about the vintage Zamboni,

about how much that would be worth. And a quick visit to Zamboni.com lets me know that the lowest end Zamboni models, where it's basically just a small track, like you pull it with a tractor is $10,000 the full size machines can be up to low six figures

so Zambonis are expensive you definitely don't want to lose a Zamboni if you're running an ice palace that's just riddled with debt although unless you got insurance on it that insurance money might be nice the process

to get that Zamboni out of there may take as long as the dare would have taken I don't know you think that they could have moved quick on that yeah they could have gosh now that I'm thinking

about it I don't know I think yeah they could have moved out they could have moved it real quick. I mean, the trouble they would have ran into is getting it started because we've seen it break down once or twice. That's what I was going to say. It's a shoddy engine at best. But then we saw Bombay fix it by just banging a fucking crowbar on it. So that whipped it right back into shape.

So if they get it started, they can get it out real quick. The people stealing the Zamboni wouldn't know how to Fonzie the engine back. I feel like if you're going out of your way to steal a Zamboni, you know a little bit about Zambonis. Well, that's true. That's a good point. There's no novice Zamboni stealers, you know? Yeah. That's not a part-time job. That's a good point. That's a good point. There's no novice Zamboni Steelers, you know? Yeah.

That's not a part-time job. That's a full dedicated career. There's no way that the black market Zamboni ring, like that's probably a dark place, man. That's like dark web stuff, the black market Zamboni. I don't know. I don't know. If you get a vintage Zamboni that Gordon Bombay, the hockey icon, the godfather of hockey, used.

The Minnesota Miracle Man. That kind of memorabilia, that's probably worth some change. All right. So Zamboni ran aside. Vintage Zamboni rat aside. Did you say pony rat aside? This was classic Stephanie in the car talking about they're going to Bell Guard Kitchen. Bombay cracks a bad joke that just didn't land. He's got a lot of weird cheesy jokes. I thought it was a great joke because they complained.

They made a wrong turn and they ended up in the bad neighborhood is what Stephanie says. And she mentions that somebody threw a beer bottle or a beer glass or whatever it was at their car, a beer bottle at their car. Bombay says, well, that's just the local brewery trying out some new marketing techniques. That's terrible. Like the ground is just covered in glass someone's just in the neighborhood throwing bottles around uh dicey dicey at best um but you i also love that clark doesn't remember alex oh no they've met 12 times like just what that guy sucks yeah clark clark's a douchebag clark's yeah had no recollection of alex at all zero it's like oh okay cool we've met 12 times like and then he doesn't say that perfectly too well yeah and then he doesn't

apologize he doesn't do anything he's just like oh okay whatever yeah he's just like doubles down being a dick it's like okay cool whatever but He just doubles down being a dick. It's like, okay, cool, whatever. So what I loved, like you mentioned, they pull up in an Escalade-esque. Escalade-esque is quite a phrase there. But an Escalade-type car complete with red seatbelts. What the fuck are these red seatbelts about? Do they even make seatbelts. What the fuck are these red seatbelts about? Do they even make seatbelts in red? People

that customize cars. Why would you customize it with a red seatbelt? Is that like a Tom Haverford thing? With the red velvet or the red carpet insoles in your shoes? I think so.

That was like a treat yourself type of weekend. I mean, I don't get it. Like people that have fancy stuff in their cars, like it doesn't make sense. Like give me the factory Mazda fresh out of the factory, you know, no bells, whistles. That's what I'm about. That's not life for me it would

make more sense to me if any anything else in the car was also red but it wasn't the outside was black the interior besides the seat belts was all black black leather it looked like so why why the red why of all things are you going to customize the seatbelt and then nothing else? I actually didn't even notice that. So it's funny that you did. Yeah. I didn't notice it because I watched this episode a couple of times. I didn't notice it the first time. But on the second rewatch, I was like, those seatbelts are red.

What is happening? So they were trying to go to Belgrade, the restaurant. They make a wrong turn. They run into Alex in Bombay. They mentioned that they were going to dinner with Belgrade, the restaurant. They make a wrong turn. They run into Alex and Bombay. They mentioned that they were going to dinner with friends, but their friends canceled. So Alex and Bombay, you should join us. A nice little double date, maybe?

A little double date? Cannot wait for this double date. Yeah. Although, that would be a hard pass. I forget, I think Bombay says yes, right? I think Alex says no and Bombay says yes, right? I think Alex says no and Bombay says yes. Yeah, Alex is a hard pass in Bombay.

As you should be. I don't know what Bombay is doing. It's a hard pass all the time. That's her boss. You know what you don't want to do nine times out of ten is just go have dinner with your boss. Unexpectedly, especially when your boss is not super nice to you. Yeah. Yeah.

Especially when you work for Stephanie. Your boss is like playing psychological, like war games with your mind. And that's not what you want to like go have dinner. Although Bombay, to be fair, Bombay is the place that's right. Like, hey, this is obviously a super high-class place. Like, hopefully they're covering it.

Like, you do the fake go for the check, and you just order a really nice steak. Did Clark cover it? I can't remember. I don't know. I'm assuming that Clark covered it because he seems like that kind of guy. No, Clark strikes me as the guy who's not going to cover. He's not going to. Really? You don't think he's going to try to like

you don't think Stephanie I feel like Stephanie would be like, oh well, don't worry. We'll take this. You're such a because she's like, she deserves this. She's such a hard worker. Yeah, maybe you're right. Maybe they would do it. It's just like hard worker. Yeah, maybe you're right.

Maybe they would do it as just like a fuck you, I'll pay for you. It's like a pity. Like, hey, we pity you. We have so much and you have so little. I guess that doesn't cross my mind because I don't have that kind of money. I don't have fuck you type money, so I can't do it. I don't understand what it's like. I don't know how the other the other half lives but i also they do such a great job with setting clark up for being such a piece of

shit where they come in and he's talking about like how playing hockey in high school or whenever hockey helps him set up for his financial investing. And Bombay. Taught him discipline. Bombay has the best line of the episode, right? It's like, do you ever get punched in the face? Just out of nowhere. Like right in the middle of Clark's hockey makes him a better investor speech.

Bombay, yeah. Have you ever been punched? And then is it Stephanie goes, are you talking about in hockey? And he goes, hockey, life, I'm sure you've been punched in both. Yeah. Like, it's absolutely just such an amazing line. Hockey. Just, you know, hockey, life, both.

I'm sure one. He's like. I'm sure one. He's like, I'm sure one of them. He says something like, you seem like or you look like somebody who's been punched before. I'm just going hard into it. And Alex is trying to cover it up because Stephanie is her boss, trying to do damage control. Because like you said, Stephanie starts talking about how Alex is such a good worker. She always does all this stuff.

Yeah. She starts talking about the pecan pies. Yes, about how they won a case. Everybody got some sweet pecan pies to celebrate, they they won a case everybody got some sweet pecan pies to celebrate but they didn't give any to alex which is bullshit because i love pecan pie like listen i know we're a cake eaters podcast but like i love a good pie love me some pecan pie maybe some blueberry with some ice cream like i love a good i love a good pie. Sorry for the pie rant, but I understand her frustration. I love good

pie. Save it for the spinoff podcast, The Pie Eaters. Save that. Where we fully break down crust style and texture. Exactly. Don't sleep.

The big three. Don't sleep on The big three. Don't sleep on the graham cracker. But I also love in this super awkward interaction about where they're talking about work or something, and Bob is like, oh, she screams. Trust me. You just don't hear her. And she's like,

yeah, I scream, I love my job. And it's like so incredibly awkward. I loved everything about that too. That was fantastic. And then after, or on their way out, Bombay's talking to Alex, and Alex is like kind of chastising Bombay a little bit. He's like, what are you doing?

Like, this is my boss. You can't be like, we have to be have to be civil i can't i can't you know be mean to this girl and then before before that it's uh they they throw down on the mom's skills challenge because stephanie stephanie gets a text at dinner and she's like oh the wolves parents backed out. The Huskies. The Huskies. Same difference. Absolutely not. The Huskies. And we have Steph,

the six-year undefeated reigning champion. And Clark is just all about Steph. Slapshot challenge. A record 39 miles an hour. But who's counting? That's what she says to Clark when he incorrectly says 38.

I'm convinced that the Huskies were never a part of this. So I'm convinced there was no friends that they were meeting for dinner. The Huskies were not part of the Hockey Mom Challenge. I'm convinced there was no friends that they were meeting for dinner. The Huskies were not part of the Hockey Mom Challenge. I'm convinced this was a setup. Wow. So, like, you're thinking conspiracy. Like, this goes all the way to the top. So, yeah, my guess is Coach T was talking with Stephanie

because Stephanie is, like, the number one team mom. Yeah. He's like, okay, we need a team for the hockey, the annual hockey mom challenge. Should we ask the Huskies like we normally do? And Stephanie goes, no, no, no, no. Let's get the clowns. Let's get the clowns

in here. And so she comes up with this plan to kind of ambush, right? So she makes the wrong turn, ends up at the Ice Palace right as they're leaving. She comes up with this plan to ambush, right? So she makes the wrong turn, ends up at the Ice Palace. Interesting. Right as they're leaving. And then you do the whole fake text at dinner.

Oh, no, the Huskies bailed. Oh, no. What are we going to do? Wow. Do you think this is one elaborate ruse? Coach T wants to get back at Alex. Stephanie wants to put Alex in her place. I think Stephanie is trying to put Alex in her place. I don't think Coach

T is trying to... He doesn't care. He just thinks it's funny. This is a birds aren't real level conspiracy theory, Brandon. This is intense. First of all, if something's true, it's not a conspiracy theory Brandon like this is this is intense first of all if something's true it's not a conspiracy theory so you know

that's true that is true birds aren't real people stay woke but so so we gear up Bombay volunteers Alex to compete against Stephanie in the Slapshot Challenge because he's

pissed. Bombay's like, hey, let me get Alex her pie. You know, nobody messes with the single mom that I'm crushing on. I'm Bombay. Yeah. Nobody touches my girl.

Yeah, so he volunteers them and then doubles down and's like alex will beat you at the slap shot challenge yeah and and and that's where alex is like hey you can't do this this is my boss like i can't compete against my boss yeah she has to win yes but that's when bombay lays the great line where he goes maybe maybe in the office you have to bow down to her and give her what she wants, but that's what hockey's for. You can fight back in hockey. You got a problem with a co-worker?

Take it to the ice. And then after that, we've got Sophie forging the signature. Yes, straight up forgery. That is not her John Hancock. So she is, up forgery. Yeah, that is not her John Hancock. So she is, she forges. It's not looking good, but she's officially a don't bother now. Well, now that contract is null and void because it's a forgery.

Yeah, but. Legally, she's not a don't bother. Legally, she should be in jail. I mean, listen, we don't know how official these contracts were that she is signing. But for all intents and purposes, she's a dope up. That's just what's going on. I am coming down a little hard on her. That's somebody who's forged a permission slip once or twice in my life, I get it.

I get it. I never had to because I'm smart. We should probably cut that out, though, just for legal reasons. I don't want to, you know. I don't want anything coming back on me. You know what? Denver Public School is coming back on you. Yeah, yeah. So we get Sophie

With the forgery Sophie hands In the permission slip everyone's excited And then it's The moment of truth for our good friend Nick and he asks Evan To sleep over yes He asked Evan to sleep over

It's a little awkward He's a little over excited He's a little overexcited. He can feel it. He's excited. He's nervous. He's probably been overthinking about this all day. But he gets the yes. And best friend zone.

Here we go. Yes. Best friend zone. Best friend train pulling into the station. We're ready to go. Yeah. And then Evan realizes that, that Coop is looking a little down.

Yeah. He's the same. That's what he says when he asked him how he's doing. He's the same. Yes. And if Coop, he's the only heat. Yeah.

He has a, Coop has a moment of, of self-realization where he's like, I, I fucking suck at this. Like you, Evan, you scored the goal last game, which is tight, great for you.

But then I let in 17 goals, which is unacceptable. And you're right, Coob. It is unacceptable. Yeah, and 12 before that, 39 goals in two games. So, you know, that's... So I wonder what his save percentage is. It's probably 4%, maybe? I'm going to say 4%.

And so, you know, Koob gets the pity invite, but, you know, Evan just sees someone really down on his luck and realizes that if they're ever going to fix this goalie situation, they've got to get Koob's back, right? Because right now he can't move his feet and he's feeling really sad. Yeah. We need some, some actual team bonding, not the stupid icebreaker nonsense. We need some actual team bonding. We got to raise the spirits here.

Yeah. And the, what, what way to do it then a sleepover, you know, that's where, that's where true alliances are forged in your youth. If I've learned anything from childhood movies, it's the sleepover is where unbreakable bonds are made. Exactly.

Nick, you can see a little bit of jealousy coming through, but he's like, okay, whatever. Me and Evan can still be best friends, but Coop can come too. And then we're cutting again. We're done. We're done with that scene. We're moving over. We got the first don't bothers mom's practice with our boy Bombay dusting off the skates.

And he's rocking the sickest Sherwood hockey stick. It's made out of wood. I don't know how old that stick is, but it's got to be early 90s. It's probably from the first movie that Sherwood made completely out of wood, which you don't see. I don't think they make wood hockey sticks anymore. It's all composite, carbon fiber, super crazy stuff now but bombay is still rocking the old school just straight wood hockey stick gotta love what a good catch yeah and then uh

i love the intros we gotta talk about the oh the mom yes the mom intros were excellent and i'm so glad they did that with the moms because they did it with the kids too and right off the bat, we've been waiting for this for a while. We knew they were going to be great. Nick's moms and they come in and they roast him. Because if they have to spend one more weekend at a farmer's market, they're going to lose their minds.

Which like, I don't get me wrong. I didn't, I didn't take that as a roast down Nick though. I took that as they were thanking Alex for starting the team because now they have something to do. Because, I mean, Nick was doing the podcast, so I'm assuming on the weekends he was going with Mary Jo

and broadcasting each of these games. And the moms were like, we don't have fucking anything to do. I guess we'll go to a farmer's market. But now they can go watch Nick play. I took it as Nick had nothing to do. He was making them go to a whole bunch of farmer's markets. And they're glad that he finally has a life. I don't think you understand how much work goes into the number two

Southeast Minnesota youth hockey podcast. He's been in all his weekends doing that. But they seemed great and very kind and very supportive they were very sweet they were very supportive in their each special way yeah they were just as adorable as I thought they were going to be

yeah great couple and then I thought they did an excellent job with Maya's mom mom too so maya's mom was my favorite because she does so she's so everybody when they're introducing themselves they're all showing pictures of the kids on the phone classic um and then maya's mom goes uh are we we moved she moved here a couple years ago with Maya, moved from the big city. From the city. From the city.

And I loved this so much because as somebody who's dealt with, with so many people from the East coast, whenever that's just the thing that they say is the city. And they're referring to New York city and they say, and if you're not from the East coast, you have no idea what they're fucking talking about because the, they're in the twin cities right now what are you talking about you move from the city that doesn't make any fucking sense but of course she means new york city and alex even calls her out she goes oh what what city yeah new york city and then she does it again when she's talking to bombay she's like oh i i used to run through the city with my stroller or whatever. And Bombay goes, what city are you talking about?

New York. I loved it. It was a perfect illustration of East Coast, Midwestern personalities mixing. Because just the standard East Coast-ness of everybody assuming, just assuming everybody knows what you're talking about. So I will contradict you a little bit because it's also on the West Coast. There was the whole

bit in Letter Kenny, shout out to that show again, where they're from LA. In LA, we only take shots of wheatgrass. Yeah, but they don't take regular shots in LA. They call it LA. They don't call it the city

You know That's what it is, it's calling it the city As if there's no other cities that are That are around And not realizing that like People in the Midwest don't give a fuck No, they don't care about New York They don't care

They really don't, like you know what they care They care that gas just went up 10 cents and that the drugstore is switching over from the local to CVS. That's what they care about. Yeah. Yeah, they got no time for New York at all. No time. Keep your big apple.

I loved that. I loved that bit so much though. I love that they did it again too. They doubled down, did it twice. I thought that was great that they did that. And then they threw out Sam's mom wild card.

Less broken stuff in the house. She was like, thank God for giving my kids something to do. I appreciate it. Less broken stuff. I couldn't imagine Mama D, if I would have been that destructive, there would have been death sentence. Just, you know, signed, sealed, and delivered to them. No destruction.

Only cleanliness. Yeah. I can't imagine what that poor mom has to deal with, or had to before the hockey team, had to deal with on a daily basis. Too much energy. Breaking glass all the time. And then they go to Lauren's mom who is just Lauren is just a chip off the old block.

Looks exactly like her. Great casting. Excellent casting there. She's a dentist. I think that's it. They run there she's a dentist i think that's like that they run their own dentist practice i think it's perfect they mentioned how how well hockey has treated their family because of all the dentist appointments i thought that was a great joke like that was very well done because that's definitely something a dentist would say introducing themselves to new parents like um and then just boy just the saddest although we we get we get

logan's dad i was hoping for it at the end of the last episode when we get it all right r.i.p logan's dad it was it was just as sad as i thought it was going to be it was perfect that was um that was cringe as the youths would say yes that's very cringe. I love how he goes. I'm mainly here because I need to see that there's still good women out in the world. Because he gives a little bit more story

on the mom cheating on him a little bit. She was like, she was an architect. She said she had to stay late for work or stay late at work to kind of go over the blueprints. turns out the blueprints were named tom and then just lot has lost all faith in humanity and then yeah so that's when bombay skates out with his with his sick ass stick hang in there buddy yes yeah yeah they just's what Alex says, too. Everybody turns back and just wide-eyed looks at Logan Stanton. It's like, I don't know how to handle this situation.

And they're just like, buck up, buddy. You got this. You got this. And then Bombay coming in like, hey, we're in Bombay. Minnesota Miracle Man might have heard of me. And, of course, nobody does now. No one knows who you me. And of course nobody does now. No one knows who you are. And he's a little disappointed.

Yeah, he looked genuinely shocked. For somebody who has hidden himself away in a pretty much an abandoned ice rink, he's shocked that nobody knows who he is. I thought the same thing. But he's practicing.

He's having them hit the ice, figuring out strengths and weaknesses, realizing it's mostly weaknesses. He goes into full-on coach mode. Because at the end of the – was it the last episode that he took the sign down, right? Yep. Hockey's allowed now. Hockey's – and he's loving it. He's back into it. You can see him. He's allowed now hockey's and he's he's loving it he's back into it you can see him he's full coach mode he's smiling he's having fun he's granted this is

this is just with the moms it's not with any of the kids but you can see it it's coming around it's coming around and and you've got maya's mom this is although although the smiling as i say the smiling and the happiness may not have been hockey related. Maybe it's just been mom related. He's in a rink full of moms. This is Bombay's bread and butter right here. This is his happy place. Yeah, he's in a good place.

But so Maya's mom is the fast mom. We saw that. Yes, speedster that Speedster Lauren's mom The dentist is the sharpshooter And then we get a little flirting You know calling Alex a superstar Giving her a wave What's up superstar

So much sexual tension in that Oh man Between that and her response Where she goes oh who me You could cut the sexual tension in that. Oh, man. Between that and then her response where she goes, oh, who, me? She's like, you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. Yoo-hoo. Like in the old Looney Tunes. But anyway. And then, boom, we're cutting again, and we're to the sleepover.

And we've got Evan and Nick playing cards, talking about superpowers um evan wants to fly nick surprisingly goes in this is a great interchange uh goes invincibility and then evan immediately is like whoa going with a kind of a creepy superpower there buddy well it's well it's not it's not it's and then they they then it's like oh so no it's not creepy and just be able to secretly watch everyone okay i see yeah i i i get the convenience now yeah my bad my bad uh i do i do love the because it's such a such a middle school like theory theoretical question to like talk about what superpower you would have i specifically remember asking other kids this when i was in middle school like if you could have one superpower what would it be yeah and i assume kids are still talking about it to this day

especially now you got all the marvel movies superpowers must just be on the tip of everybody's tongue in middle school yeah it's it's it's a great question but they're realizing very quickly coup although they both have separated not feeling it coop is coop is very separated yes he's not in the card game he's not answering the question he's glued to his phone glued to his phone they're speaking words to him and he is not hearing them this is just the date like i hope parents are watching right now. The dangers of uninterrupted screen time. That's what this is.

So much so that they have to text him and he says and he just says K. He just hits him with a K. Was he playing a game? What was he doing on there? I don't know if they mentioned. I don't think so so I think he's just always doing

Some sort of movement on his phone Whether it's game or social media I mean These days kids Spend hours on YouTube Watching other kids play video games It's the craziest shit I've ever heard in my life Yeah

Yeah that's pretty interesting That was like the worst part growing up kids play video games. It's the craziest shit I've ever heard in my life. Yeah. That was like the worst part growing up, waiting for your turn to go on the Nintendo when you're playing the one player games and now kids just watch other kids play. I don't get it. Whatever. I've watched a few

video game YouTube stuff. Mostly for games that i'm like learning how to play so you like watch somebody who's like you know it's just it's just like watching it's like watching film like going back and like looking at at film tape because you're like okay yeah it's like i i don't know how to play this game let me watch somebody who does know how to play this game. Let me watch somebody who does know how to play this game. You know, and then you... So, like, I can see in this sector, if I have my sniper rifle and I throw a grenade from this particular tree,

I will be able to take out the enemy's back line. Exactly, yeah. Or you see, like, you can pick up on, like, the good hiding spots for, like, certain maps and stuff, all that kind of stuff. It's another tool to get better. I definitely don't watch a ton of them

though. I don't even really play video games anymore. This was back in the day. I've been playing a lot more video games lately but it's because I bought this super badass like it's like a like the classic PlayStation, but they somehow hacked it or whatever.

So it doesn't just have like those classic PlayStation games. It has every video game ever for like PlayStation Super Nintendo. Anyways, maybe I shouldn't say anything, but fuck yeah. I thought it was going to work, but it does. And it's awesome. Actually, this morning I was actually just playing the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Super Nintendo game. And it rocked.

And then I got to this part where I just couldn't get past it. Anyways, video games were a lot harder than that. That would be a good spot to watch somebody on YouTube play that specific level. Get some tips. All right, I'm going to specific level. He gets some, get some tips. All right. I'm going to have to look there. Yeah.

Because I did get stuck. I did recently, um, dust off the, the game cube. I, uh, I've been playing,

I've played that a little bit. I got NHL hits 2002, just a classic game. It's got, you know, rolling by limb biscuit as the theme song. Just,'s there's something about that that song that just fucking pumps me up dude i love that song listen my guilty

pleasure surprises me about you being a big fred durst guy oh i love fred he's actually a crazy talented just like creative guy he's like started direct he's directed a couple movies now they're uh i've watched well i watched one i forget the name of it i watched one of them it talented, just like creative guy. He's like started direct, he's directed a couple movies now. They're, uh, I've watched one, I forget the name of it. I watched one of them. It was pretty good. I forget the name of the song, but the best Slimp Bizkit song is the one with Method Man. Um.

Oh, shoot. What is the name of that one? InTogether now. Okay. That's the best one. Yeah, it is. No, the best one's Nookie. Anyways, alright. What kind of best one. Yeah, it is. No, the best one's Nookie. Anyways, all right. What kind of trash opinion is that? That's how you know somebody has trash music taste, when they think Nookie's not the best Limp Bizkit song.

Ridiculous. I mean, it's good. It just got played out. I love the B-side track with Method Man. You know what that tells me, Heath? That tells me that you don't do it for the nookie. That's what that tells me. All right.

So back to the show, away from the insane sidebar tangent. So we get to Alex practicing one-on-one with Bombay for the Slapshot Challenge, gearing up, ready to go. First Slapshot Challenge, gearing up, ready to go. First Slapshot, out of the gate. She puts it into sleep mode, only 15 miles an hour. It's looking rough. Stephanie is going to murder her because you know she's obsessively practicing.

That's more than double. She's got to more than double that to catch Stephanie. What does Bombay say? He says, you're driving in the school zone right now. Yeah, she's in the school zone. And Bombay is playing her string. He's playing her like a fiddle. Like he's plucking those strings, coaching her.

Coach mode. Yep, he's in full coach mode. No longer is Alex going to be a punching bag of Stephanie. She's going to be a strong, independent femalehanie she's going to be a strong independent female warrior just like lauren is from the team that should be who she looks up to um and so they start talking about like a string of murders that was two blocks away from the ice palace while she was getting uh wine i don't i can't remember why it came up it's like oh okay that's a that's a safe place.

But we find out Alex had to drop out of law school when she had Evan because she had to take care of him. Otherwise, you know, she could have been in Stephanie's position. So Bombay is playing up that inner rage, and then boom, we get Alex with a 25-mile-an-hour slap shot, still 14, still 14 off from Stephanie. And yeah,

but, but a 10 mile an hour jump. That's, that's good. You can work with that. You channel that anger and you get 10 miles an hour. That's pretty solid. Now it's true.

Cause now, now she, she knows where the power is coming from. She's got the raw power. You just gotta, now you just gotta work on the technique. You gotta tighten up the technique and then that could get you to to about 40 miles an hour which is my only issue not fast at all no and my my issue is she's

practicing on a mat um with boots on where she skates i believe in the competition and so i mean that's gonna take a ton of torque off of this shot there's a whole 15 it's gonna be lucky if she there's a whole uh it's always sunny in philadelphia episode about the specific scenario where mac is practicing a slap shot on uh on with sneakers on with shoes on instead of ice skates and then when he gets out when he puts the ice skates on to finally go do it at the the nhl game he slips and falls yeah it's a classic episode um but before this scene ends because we're getting ready to cut again really quick but before it does bombay does like the little oh let me show you how to slap shot and there's some awkward moment and then alex takes off off the ice and bombay kind of gives

a sly grin so they're really setting up the alex bombay you know it's it's gonna happen soon yeah we get some so much more sexual tension we get the first little hip touch because Bombay is trying to give her some technique and he does the kind of like you're teaching somebody how to swing a golf club you come behind them it's a classic putt putt golf date move

tried and true somebody who worked at a mini golf place I used that move many a times. It's a tried and true putt-putt golf maneuver. It did not land. At Adventure Golf and Raceway, they refer to that as the Brandon. I pity every high school girl in Denver during the 2000s. Wow.

I actually only did that move on one girl. I had a very steady girlfriend throughout high school, so she was the only one who benefited from that move. And I said, benefited is probably a very generous word. So after Bombay gets shut down by Alex, we go back to Nick's house, and we see Nick's mom's coming in, no screens after 10 p.m. Yep.

No screens after 10 p.m. So I had real issues. Not only is it a no screens past 10 p.m. rule, it's a give me your phone at 10 p.m or i think it was even earlier than that was it 10 p.m i thought it was earlier it was 10 p.m so my thing is and that's that's over with friends like let them have their phones it's not a school night you know it's a sleepover with friends i'm assuming it's a weekend like let them let them have their phones. And so I had a real issue with this. Again, going to my spinoff podcast, Brandon's Parenting Corner.

I had a real issue with this because I get the no screens at past 10 p.m. I get that. That's solid. Even for a sleepover, I get it. Solid. Let them bond with each other. My issue is you don't need to take the kid's phone, especially a kid that's not your kid.

Don't take their phone. What if their parent needs to get in contact with them? God forbid there's an emergency or something like that. And then just like personal property kind of stuff. Don't take the kid's fucking phone. Just be like, hey, we have a no screens past 10 p.m rule and then you know nick nick would have kept them in check nick would have been like hey put your phone away you know you don't need to you don't need to take the kid's phone there's there's no regulating that

um but i i think that it just i understand the rule if i was if i was having yeah yeah i mean that would be that would be the normal thing to do is sleep over just whatever. Let them do what they want. If my kid comes back from a sleepover and they're like, yeah, their parents took my phone from 10 p.m. to 9 a.m. when I woke up, I'd be like, okay, you're never

sleeping over there again. I don't know what they're doing with your phone. They could be doing anything. They could be making freaking collect calls to china they could be downloading god knows what well it's nick's moms they would never do such a thing but that's true nick's moms wouldn't do it but i you know not every not every couple is as wholesome as nick's moms okay but but boy do we get the, once again, Disney reminding the dangers of excess screen time because Coob is tore up.

Toe up from the flow up, as the youth say. He loses his mind. Nick even suggests like, okay, we can just go to bed then. And he goes, I can't, I swipe myself to sleep. I can't fall asleep without my phone. When he said that, I i was like wait a second they don't get that that makes me think of tinder you know what i mean like there's oh yeah kube is all over tinder kube is all over tinder i just i i didn't see but anyways yeah and then but i love it because Nick being the best always instantly goes into fun

mode. And he's like, all right, operation, get cubes phone back, which is like this whole, this has been a very sitcom episode, right? Like the quick cuts going through, like you, like we talked about setting up all the different characters, getting a little background detail. So they, they go downstairs and Nick has another good line. Oh, what, how dare his mom's hide the phones under his lucky lamp. What a betrayal of trust there.

But I love that. I also love that Coop calls his own phone and leaves himself a voicemail. He's like, hey, Coob. It's okay. I love you. You're going to make it through. You can do this. What's he say? He's like, if you're listening to this, you got your phone back.

You made it. And then Nick, this is another. I don't know. How do we distract them? All my moms like are moderate hikes and show tunes, which is another amazing line. And then Coop just out of nowhere. Oh, he lights up.

He's like, show tunes? Did you say show tunes? And then, wow, does Coop absolutely blow away Les Mes like just the the he was he was not less miserable singing that it was just it was beautiful and poetic and he had absolutely captured he killed it i'm assuming with my rough knowledge of of this kind of stuff but I'm assuming that's him actually singing. It sounded very... It sounded like his voice. It didn't look like they were... I mean, granted, they were probably

like that take. They were probably lip-syncing and he did it in a sound booth, but it sounded like his voice. Yeah. You can usually tell when they're lip-singing someone else's voice on a movie. And yeah, it definitely looked like it was him singing it.

I guarantee you that was part of the audition process for this character is they were like, we need, there's this crucial scene where he sings a show tune. We need a kid who can sing a show tune. And what a tune, you know, that is no easy song to go out there and crush. You know, to go up there and hang with the likes of Anne Hathaway

and to dream a dream like that, just wonderful. Great job, Coop. Yeah. Crushed it. Yeah, he should be in the theater department and not be playing goalie for a hockey team. Well, that's all I could think of.

It's like, listen, if this guy is not in show choir or some form of competition, singing competitions, especially with the way Pitch Perfect has brought all that back, you know, with Glee, Pitch Perfect, like how has Coob not been grabbed by by one of the acapella groups yeah or even just because middle schools do plays all the time how's he why is he not why is he not in the theater team the theater department the theater team it's definitely not a team it's a department but hey but they work together like a team yeah i mean you can't you

can't you can't have a play without teamwork and listen you don't want the wrath of theater kids man they'll get you at your soul you won't see it coming no i definitely don't want to upset any three kids i try i try to stay as far away from them throughout my high school years as possible because they scare me i don't want anything um but then so they get it and and like it's another really quick scene he coob sings uh coob sings they get the phone they celebrate boom the phone dies and coob's like hey it's okay because that was really fun i don't need my phone to have fun and then he jumps in real hot hey can can we slumber party tomorrow and and doubles down he's like this is the best time of my life let's do it again yeah and they're like hey

we did sleepovers it's it's fun it's it's just like cookies you know if you eat 10 cookies you're not gonna feel good you know but if you eat one really good cookie, you're going to feel great. Yeah. Less is more. That's great life advice. Less is more. Less is more. We got Coach T coming in hot, yelling. Because Sophie has to bail on the Ducks practice for the Model UN.

She's representing Belgium. She's pressing some waffles. No, no, no, no. Don't bother. She's at the Don't Bothers practice, but she has to bail because she has to go to the Ducks practice. She's having the mother-daughter practice. Yes, so she tells Alex

that she has to go to Model UN because she still hasn't... She's forged the signature, so Alex thinks that she had the talk with her parents that she's on the Don't Bothers. She hasn't had the talk with her parents, so she's still pulling double duty trying to thread this needle here. So, yeah, so she runs to the Ducks practice from the Don't Bothers practice,

not thinking to take off her Don't Bothers jersey. So she shows up at the D practice takes a takes a coat off and then is wearing the don't bother jersey and that's when the coach t pops off with the clown line again why is she why is she wearing a clown suit why is she in the clown suit but uh before that he also has a great line before like as she's running in coach t is coaching up the moms. He's like, all right, moms, I know you have jobs and kids, but this is sloppy. Like I coach T is not letting up the pheasants, whether they're youth or their moms,

like they're all pheasants in his eye and they need to skate better. I was really hoping for some more, some more letter Kenny lines. You know, I was hoping for, for some pheasants again, some Bardownskis, a little wheel snipe Selly. I really thought that they were going to get some more Coach T coaching the Ducks moms, but that's okay. Because then, what's she doing in the clown suit?

We see Sophie and Sophie takes off. She doesn't know what to do. She panic runs. Panic runs. And so she and then we realize she panic runs to the ice palace. But who is there already waiting? Her parents. They drive fast when they're mad, says Evan.

They just had to beat a 12-year-old running. On skates. On skates. Yeah, on skates. And it's clearly far enough because at the beginning of the episode, when she's going back and forth, she's taking the bus. So it's clearly far enough to where a car would easily beat somebody back. And so she's talking to her parents.

And so her mom is like, well, what about Model UN? Who's going to her parents, and so her mom is like, what about Model UN? Who's going to represent Belgium? And Evan, in the most Evan shut the fuck up moment, goes, I will represent Belgium. And it's just, damn it, Evan. Don't you see that this is not the time for your wannabe quick wit? Yeah, your jokes that don't land here. He's taking too many cues for Bombay,

jokes that just aren't quite landing. Not quite landing. Sophie's mom correctly shuts her down, shuts him down. That wasn't the point, Evan. Yeah, because he is a loser and ducks are winners. And that is loser think.

Well, in Sophie's mom's defense she doesn't she doesn't look at Evan and tell Evan he's a loser he says the don't bothers are losers she is good as tells him to his face that he's a loser oh yeah well yeah she

with Evan and then Alex walking up the stairs right in your shot she says yeah the don't bothers are losers yeah and then yeah walking up the stairs, right in your shot, she says, yeah, the don't bothers are losers. Yeah, and then, yeah, very much when Alex walks up with that line, it's like, okay, Evan's definitely your kid. Same stupid-ass lines. Yeah, well, she's like, we're not losers, even though we've lost every single game,

and we got lost on our way to one of them or something like that. They got lost on the way from one of them or something like that. They got lost on the way from the, from the locker room to the ice, which was, that was actually a really excellent line. I really love that. But so then they're trying to, she's talking shit.

And one of the ducks moms is in the Olympics. There was an Olympic hockey player. You find out. Yeah. So, so that's when sophie kind of gets the bright idea because she she's telling her parents like i can't be my best self when i'm playing on the ducks i hate them they're mean i don't want to i don't want to play for them her

parents are still not having it at all they're not having it at all so she sophie throws out the idea of if the don't bothers beat them in the mom challenge then she could play for the don't bothers if not then she'll drop the whole thing and she'll go be miserable as a duck yeah yeah and then that's when yeah yeah uh sophie's mom is like you realize one of the ducks moms went to the olympics for hockey and alex is like oh what the thing with the rings like Who can't win once every four years? Yeah, try winning every year and then get

back to me. And so then we're there. Then it's game time. We got Coach T introducing. We're getting it started. Koob has come out of his shell. He's trying to lead the wave in the stands. We didn't get Coob's mom, did we?

No, we haven't seen the Coob parents at all. They were not involved in the hockey moms. Is that the only one we didn't get to see? I'm trying to think. I think, yeah. I think we got to see everybody else's, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Well, that's interesting. I wonder if they're – we'll figure out who they are later in the series. But for right now, Coob is – What if he doesn't have any parents? What if he's living in that basement by himself? Jeez, that's not going to be that dark. I mean, sure, Disney loves to give us trauma like the Lion King and the Fox and the Hound, you know,

like just really trying to pick up on childhood traumas. But I don't think they're going to do that here with this. It would be a great origin story for Coop. Or maybe they kind of – no, because they do, Evan and Nick, meet his – I think they meet his mom because they mentioned somebody in the first episode when they're going to find Coop. They mentioned somebody let him in and they came downstairs. And I think they mentioned that it's his mom.

So he does have a mom. But maybe that's how we get Coob to be a good goalie. Maybe we got to, maybe we got to kill a parent or two for the origin story for him to, you know, finally realize how great of a goalie he can be. He becomes the Batman of goalies after his parents get murdered. What,

what better way to start this story off? Yes. Hello, master coob okay so we got the relay race it's rocking and rolling coob had the wave going but we see the ducks moms win the relay race and but while the relay race is going, Clark, our boy Clark, is back. He's being the worst and imitating Mom Bay. Just straight parodying him. Just like right after he says it. Just repeats what he says. Classic Clark. I absolutely loved it.

And then shout out to Lauren's mom for winning the sniper shot challenge. She absolutely did that. We didn't see how it got to 5-4 after the relay race. We didn't see how it got to 5-4. But then it was 5-5 after the target challenge. Yeah, they only showed us a glimpse at two events, and the two events they showed were even real quick. They must not have had a lot of footage to draw for them,

so they were like, we've got to speed this along. Just get to the snapshots. We're moving right through it, and then all of a sudden, boom, Coach T sees it. Oh, my good friend, Alex Morrow. See, I'm fairly certain this was a setup. This had to have been a setup from the get-go. It all comes down to this. And so right up, first off the bat, the reigning champ, Stephanie.

She comes up. She gets ready. Maybe some nerves coming in, a lot of pressure. She wants to really step on the throat of her opponent. Boom, she hits 35. 35 miles an hour for Stephanie. You can see some disappointment there. I'm not going to lie.

I was shocked that it was 35. Her record was 39. So that's a four mile an hour drop off. That's for somebody like Stephanie, that's heartbreaking. Yeah. So, but, but three chances. So 35, not, not bad to kick off. Then we, then we see Alex saunter up and she hits a somewhat respectable 26 um and we can see right off the gate that alex is in big trouble stephanie is going to run away with this and i think stephanie feels that confidence coming into this next shot oh yeah yeah and we got a we got a giggle from coach t he's like this is over classic coach t this has had to have been a setup. It's got to be a fucking setup.

And so, now Stephanie's going. Second shot. Boom. Hits 37. Alright, we're back. We're not to the record, but we're close. We're hovering around the record 37 miles an hour from Steph. Tension building. Alex goes.

Not good. Really not good We drop three miles an hour 23 We're going backwards That's not where we want to go We're going backwards And Stephanie is feeling good And she delivers another great line

Where she Condescendingly says to Alex Hey you're doing great there, sister lady. Just real salt in the wounds there to Alex. And then just as she is relishing in this moment, she hits the slapper of all slappers 40 miles an hour. New personal record. Coach T is pumped. Stephanie is pumped. they're ready those are shining moments they're feeling it they're feeling it so alex

is skating up she's nervous she doesn't know what to do and then we look over and we see our good friend bombay ever ever the planner he is the he is the master manipulator, the architect of everything. We see our friend Bombay with a slice of pecan pie. Yeah. And oh boy, he lights that internal fire. Where was he keeping that? Because it's perfectly on a plate. It's not smushed or anything.

It doesn't look like he was carrying that in a backpack. Do you think he came before, put it in the bench and then... Weirdly in the corner where no one could see it because no one would look over in that corner.

If someone did, they'd be like, why is there a fucking piece of pecan pie in the corner over there? Like, what's up with that? And so that's where Master Manipulator busts out the pecan pie. You see the fire light in Alex's eyes. And she cocks back. She swings. She hits 41 miles an hour.

Wow. New record and a victory. New record and a victory. Absolutely. Coach T is shocked. And then of course. You see Coach T is shocked

and you see everybody, all the ducks, the moms, the kids in the stands, everybody goes crazy. Even Sophie. Sophie loses it. She's so pumped. She's screaming. She's like, I can be a fucking duck. Or I can be a don't bother.

I don't have to be a duck anymore. She's pumped. She's a good guy. And then we get just the heartbreaking realization that. That Clark is the worst. And we had to go to the instant replay. And then we get just the heartbreaking realization that... That Clark is the worst. He was... And we had to go to the instant replay. And this is what's wrong with...

This is a very NBA type of move where like, oh, over the line on the free throw. We're going to spend 30 minutes going over this. There's five seconds left. Let's just completely ruin the watchability of our product. But anyways, Stephanie's husband, Clark comes in instant replay. Her skate is across the line. Duck moms win on a technicality. Some people would say that's kind of like kissing your cousin. I personally feel like that's cheap. When, how do you feel about that win, Brandon, for the Duck Moms?

It's a cop-out. Cop-out win. Yeah, so my initial thoughts are a win's a fucking win, you know. But given who the Ducks are, given who the don't bothers are, and given the just ridiculous snobbery that Stephanie brings, yeah, you can't I don't think, if you're Stephanie

you can't fully celebrate this this is but she will, Stephanie, they have sent Stephanie and her husband up as the type of people that celebrate a fake win just as much as an outright win.

That's how they set them up. That's what's wrong with this world, Heath. Exactly. But then you see Sophie. She's disappointed, man. She knows she's entering this duck prison. She almost collapses. She's heartbroken.

Absolutely devastated. And then we cut. We're done with the competition we cut we see some great ad placement with sophie on the table eating some honey nut cheerios um you know shout out to her i know i've been eating a lot more honey nut cheerios with some high cholesterol going down lately. So, you know, good on her. You know, that's all garbage, right? Listen, Brandon, this box very clearly tells me that it can lower cholesterol. It doesn't guarantee,

but it can. It absolutely does not. But the word can is how they're legally allowed to put it on the box. And I'm also pretty sure the fact that they changed half of the shapes within the box to little heart shapes definitely helps that it helps lower the cholesterol the heart-shaped cheerios i don't believe you but okay you know nothing about honey nut cheerios but anyways i'll stick to my Cinnamon Toast Crunch. My Captain Crunch peanut butter. That's where

it's at. I love a little CT Crunch with some almond milk. Don't get me wrong there. We got Sophie at the table doing homework, eating cereal. Very typical middle school kid. All of us have been there before. Dad,

who I thought was not going to be very chill, turns out to be very chill. This is dad cheering for Sophie in the first practice. He comes in clutch. He comes in. He's like, hey, I saw how bummed you were, how excited you were when the don't bothers won, and you thought you'd become there.

You hadn't been that excited for a while. You're a Don't Bothers, signed off. Boom, Sophie officially off the desk. He goes from possibly worst dad in the history of the world to a solid B, solid B parent. Yeah, that's a tough move because you know he's going to get the business from her mom. Like, you know that he made – that was a unilateral decision that he made, and he is going to pay for it.

Yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's not going to hear the end of it for sure. But it's a move you've got to do. You've got to be able to recognize the emotions of your child and react accordingly, you know, because this is absolutely the correct. I think her mom would discover that eventually too. She has to sooner or later, but who knows?

Maybe, maybe this is the start of the divorce. Maybe, maybe this is what kicks it off. This is ground zero, you know, like Sophie's 18, she's graduating and she's uh going to um she's going to cornell instead of yale and all of a sudden sophie's mom is like you know what this is why she's going to cornell and her dad's like you know what fucking done with this shit this all started with the goddamn don't bothers. And I'm not doing this anymore. It's over. Sorry, Soph.

Just the disrespect to Cornell right there. There's still Ivy League, Keith. I was trying to think like a pretentious parent. Okay. I mean, Andy Bernard would be rolling over in his grave right now. That's why I did say

Cornell with the disrespect. It was 100% a shot at Andy Bernard, who's a fictional character. And so, now we have Bombay after,

because like Sophie, dad, hug, celebrate. Now we're cutting again. Yes. Last cut. Officially on the Don't Bothers. Ending on a happy note.

Officially on the Don't Bothers. Ending on a happy note. Great move. Great parenting. We signed off on that parenting. And then we see Bombay dropping in on Alex. Making a house call. Woo.

Bombay getting bold after that little move at the Ice Palace. Just wants to congratulate. It's the same move he did with Charlie's mom. Just showing up. Just showing up at the house. I literally wrote that down in my notes that this

was a very typical Bombay move. He did the exact same thing with Charlie's mom. He drops in, says what's up, talking some hockey, right? Comes over to talk some hockey, congratulate her. He's got some pie. I love that their house is in such bad condition that they have no clean plates or anything

that they just have to eat it right out of the container like that's yeah that's that's a that's a busy single mom type of type of move yeah exactly yeah especially yeah she's busy single mom so she's got the job and now she's coaching full-time you know coaching working taking care of evan's dumb ass like she's got a lot on her plate so like she can't be expected Like honestly I think it's safe to say that Evan probably didn't run the dishwasher When he got home from school that day

Like he was supposed to I think it's safe to say Evan's never ran the dishwasher In his life Real shag kid He doesn't even cut his own grapes Real pathetic Real pathetic child If you're not going to cut your own grapes you're definitely not going to wash your own dishes that's for sure um but but

we did we did have a wonderful flashback to the first movie where they're looking in from the outside window to mom and son in Bombay, enjoying a nice meal. Yeah. That's how, that's how we fade out for a, what was a pretty okay episode for. Yes.

It was, it was not as good as three. I came into it. I came into it expecting more. Yeah. Me too. I really thought that they were gonna like This hockey mom thing I thought they were really gonna

Lean into that but there was just so many Moving pieces with The sleepover and the Sophie stuff And then you've got the Hockey if they would have just Focused in on the hockey mom stuff I think they had some gold there and they could have Saved the sleepover for any

Other fucking episode Yeah Yeah they had some gold there and they could have saved the sleepover for any other fucking episode. Yeah. Unless the sleepover is setting up some kind of like Coob, Nick and Evan type of triangle drama type of thing. Or maybe they become like the

backbone of the team and they're the leaders that keep it together. Yeah, maybe. Or yeah, it could cause some sort of divide it's either gonna yeah because i mean they didn't invite any they didn't invite sam they didn't invite logan they didn't invite anybody um maybe that creates a little bit of divide logan literally lives lives across the street you easily could have invited him that is a good call i didn't't even think about poor Logan across the street. I think that's.

Yeah. With his, with that sad of a dad in the house, like, like that's like his dad is like cheated on, divorced over sharing with his kids because he doesn't have any adult friends in a new city. So like, that's probably a really dark household.

They've probably been eating like really shitty seasoned frozen chicken for the, for the past week, maybe some box mashed potatoes. Like, I don't know. I guarantee you it's ham, nothing but hamburger helper. Hamburger. Oh, see steady diet, hamburger helper. That's how, I mean, that's, that's rough business. So like, I see a Diet Hamburger Helper, that's how I mean, that's rep business So, like, I see a very dark household over there You know, like, that's something that Logan You know what he could have used?

A sleepover with his pals You know, some shenanigans Hearing Coob sing Like that That'd put you in a great mood Make you forget about your mom cheating on your dad Yeah, I did like We got a little more Coob backstory. Although I would have loved to see his mom.

I think that was a huge missed opportunity. But you get a little Coob backstory. I mean, really the only thing you learn is that he can sing. So it's not that great of a backstory you get on Coob. But a little more character development. But I think this wasn't too focused on Alex and Bombay. I would have liked to even see the other kids a little more. Outside of, I think you see them at the end when they're celebrating and then at the beginning when they're doing the little practice.

But that's the only time that Lauren or Maya or Sam pop up or Logan. Yeah, that's true. The rest of the episode, they're nowhere to be found. They definitely got moved to the background. Yeah, I hope they don't get too hung up on the Alex Bombay love

and relationship because no one is watching Game Changers for Bombay to fall in love with the mom from Gossip Girl. Us nostalgic older people don't care about that. If you want

a Bombay love story that is going to grab us, you bring back Charlie's mom. Yeah. I'm going to see what she's up to. Or the Iceland chick You know Come on But outside of

I don't care about Bombay or Alex's love story At all You know The kids that are watching this Don't care They want more kids They don't give a shit about Alex and Bombay If anything it should have been

Like a potential love triangle That could have broken up The Ducks forever You know or maybe they poached Someone from the Cardinals Due to an awkward love triangle On their team And the Ducks get a new sharpshooter

Sent to follow up with Sophie Cardinals implode Ducks get a new sharpshooter sent to follow up with Sophie Cardinals implode Ducks move up don't bothers move up It's having the spend to powers your scale with no preset spending limit. More cash on hand to grow your business with up to 55 interest-free days. And the ability to reach further with access to over 1,400 airport lounges worldwide. Redefine possible with Business Platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express.

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Ooh, okay. We get a peek at Evan's dad unexpectedly shows up, complicating things for Evan, Alex, and even Bombay. So here's the love triangle. The love triangle nobody wants. Yeah, they're really leaning into this Bombay-Alex situation. Okay, now they're throwing in the former dad. Okay, very typical sitcom move.

Which this, this dad thing better pay off because they were, they were, they've been so mysterious about it that you got to think it's something important, right? It's gotta be, it's,

it's not going to be anybody we know. Is it, is it going to be anybody we know? I doubt it. No, it's just going to be some we know? I doubt it. It's just going to be some regular joke. If it's not somebody we know, it's going to be a letdown no matter what. This is starting to become the show. We have the Alex Bombay, will they, won't they,

and then we have the moving kids storylines behind it, whether it's the sleepover or the wooing Sophie. You know what I mean? Yes, I'm assuming we're going to get, maybe not in this episode, but episodes down the line, we're going to get

Alex and Sophie, or not Alex, excuse me, not Alex and Sophie. We're going to get Evan and Sophie. They've built that up a little bit too much to Alex, excuse me, not Alex and Sophie. We're going to get Evan, Evan and Sophie that, that they've built that up a little bit too much to, to not keep going with it. So that little love, love interest, I think is going to keep going. You're going to have, I'm excited to see where this best friend angle goes. Hopefully they don't, hopefully they don't drop it. I, I, I kind of,

I kind of want desperate Nick to keep going for a little longer. I want him overthinking the best friend thing. I'm excited to see where they go with Nick and how they play his character, how they keep it going. We didn't get any podcast calls on the moms competition, which that makes sense, but I hope

that their podcast doesn't fade away. So that was my other critique about this episode. It's all the hockey's focused on the moms. There's not even a game. The practices are real short. I would have liked a little more team stuff. But yeah, it was great.

I'm excited to see where they go with Nick. Hopefully we see more of his moms. That was a real kind of eye-opening experience for me. But it was one of the first times where I was watching a TV show and I realized how old I was based solely on which character I thought was the hottest. You know, because like Nick's, one of Nick's moms is, uh, I forget her character's name. I think she's Paula. Oh, a little blonde one.

A little blonde one. I was like, dang, Nick's mom is pretty good looking. And then I realized, God, I'm getting way too old to be, you know, I'm so old.

I'm starting to be attracted to all these moms and these TV shows. Where is it? I probably speaks more to my personality where i was more drawn to lauren's mom you know okay yeah that makes sense you being the wizard and her being the female warrior makes sense yeah it looks like it looks like she'd be a great dungeon master okay okay that's enough of that oh i was i was't mean it like that. I really meant it like D&D. Like, have you ever played D&D? I was real worried to bring this subject up

because I didn't want it to go off the rails, and you took it off the rails. I meant it with actual Dungeons & Dragons. Sure, sure. I got you. I get you. I understand. I got you.

God damn it. Kelly's going to listen. I am going to listen to this and be like, you're a fucking perv. Why didn't you say that stupid ass shit? I'm also going to cut out this part where you explain that you meant Dungeons and Dragons. That way it's just you talking about Dungeons. It's fucked up.

Season 5, we get to meetan's dad hopefully hopefully it pays off a little bit instead of just being some random although i mean if you're gonna keep the bomb bay story going it has to be somebody random otherwise we're gonna get if it's somebody we know we're gonna be too attached yep he's gonna come in he's gonna be the worst we're to learn a lesson. I guarantee you he comes in this episode and he's gone by the end and we never see him again. In and out. In and out. Just like

Winnie and Nick's relationship. One episode, it's gone. They're moving through this content very quickly. Yes, which is a little bit disappointing because the fact that it's a tv show instead of a movie gives you the opportunity to delve into these things more than you would have in the movie and it doesn't seem like they're really doing that so far they're just really

really locked in on bombay alex and then Evan, Sophie. Yeah. Which, honestly, those are the two most boring aspects of the show. So far. They did not realize what they had with some of these side players. I need more Nick. I need more Maya. Kube...

This episode, I enjoyed Kube more. I know I've been a Kube hater because he's the worst goalie I've ever seen in my life. But the show tunes, hopefully we get some more Coob personality. I want to see more about Sam other than just being a wild card. I'd like to get more into that. Is there more to Sam? Are there more layers to Sam than just being a wild card?

I also just, you know, Coob minus the screen seems like a great kid. Terrible goalie still, but seems like a much better kid than Coob with the screen. So hopefully he can keep those screens down. That's a message to all you kids out there. Put the

screen down. I'm kidding. I play weird little games on my phone all the time. But anyways, I like that. I'm curious to see what Logan is like because they haven't really gotten into him. He's just the kid with the wavy hair. You know, he looks like Brink from back in the day. That's who he reminds me of. Same hair.

Team Puppet Suds. Same hair. So that was a nice little throwback. Team Puppet Suds. I named my fantasy football team that one time. I always name my fantasy football team the Golden Receivers

after Air Bud. There's just so many plot holes in those Air Bud movies. I can't look past them. Not in the first one, though. The first one is Cinema Gold. There's no plot holes in the first one.

I don't know what year that Air Bud came out, but I think I was too cool for Air Bud. Air Bud? Alright, this is a complete guess, so don't fact check me, but I want to say 1998 is when the first one came out. The original Air Bud. R.I.P.

Miss you, buddy. You're close. It's 97. Okay, 97. And then there's like a million... Not a million. There's probably like four or five episodes, four or five sequels

that don't use... It's a different dog. It's not the same dog. And then you have the whole buddies spinoff with the puppies. And don't sleep on Santa Paws. I don't think that's connected, though. No, it's not.

That's not part of the Air Bud canon. But anyways, back to the show. I think we covered everything. We definitely covered everything for this episode. And then the next episode, all you really need to know is Evan's dad. Evan's dad's coming soon.

We'll see what a character he is, and we'll see how it plays into Alex and Bombay's relationship. Yeah, Hopefully. Hopefully. Just get together so we can move on and get back to the kids playing hockey. Yeah. Let's see. If we're wrapping plot lines up in an episode, let's wrap this one up.

You know? Yeah. Let's move on to Coach T and Stephanie. Like, what's going on with those two? Yes. I need more Coach T. More Coach T. Yeah. I need more Letter Kenny references. I yeah i need i need more letter kenny references i need

way more i need one i need him one just one time to say bardownskis just one time i love it i'm hoping i'm hoping we get in the inevitable second showdown between the ducks and the don't bothers i'm hoping somebody on the Ducks hits a Bardownski in game and so then he can shout that. That would be epic. Or like the Don't Bothers get like an ace in the hole and it's Riley's

counterpart. I forget his name. Jonesy. It's Jonesy. That would be epic. I would lose my shit if all of a sudden there was a Jonesy. It's Jonesy. That would be epic. I would lose my shit if all of a sudden there was a cameo. Like a Jonesy cameo. Or you get a Shorzy cameo. Fuck you, Shorzy.

Is it called a cameo if you don't ever see his face? Can you do a cameo with just your voice? I think you can. Yeah. A little Shorzy cameo. That would be fantastic fuck you jonesy fuck your mom last night that that the shoresy stuff should not be as funny as it is it's the dumbest thing in the world

but it's just hilarious uh anyways all right well. Well, that's a wrap. Yep. That'll do it for us. Episode four in the books. Here we are. We're not going to quack our way off this episode because we don't do that anymore. No, that's antiquated. We're better than that now.

Yeah. We're over here. We're having our cake, and we're going to eat it today. you