The Cake Eaters - 46. Game Changers S2:E1 Ice Breaker

Episode Date: December 6, 2022

Heath & Brandon are back with Season 2 of Game Changers! On today's episode, they are talking through Episode 1 of the new season, Ice Breaker. They discuss Disney ruining everything they touch, the characters from season 1 that we've lost along the way, adjusting to a life without Bombay, proper RV etiquette, Brandon's wild second grade, and Alex Morrow's complete disregard for anyone else. And then we look forward to the rest of the season. Follow us at www.thecakeaterspod.com and on Twitter (@thecakeeaters) and Instagram (@thecakeeaterspod) Email us at [e-mail]

Remember, it's not worth winning if you can't win! And we're back! Our episodes have been coming in at a steady pace, but we're back, Heath, because this is the first time we've actually recorded in, I don't know, 14 years, conservatively? Yeah, yeah. That's exactly it, Brandon. Sometimes a month can feel like 14 years when you've been talking through the legendary classic that is D2 Mighty Dex. Exactly. And not only are we back, me and you, Heath, but guess who else is back?

The goddamn Game Changers. Season two. Is it the Game Changers or should we, Brandon, maybe Don't Bother? Did you like that little Don't Bother line they dropped in this episode? I did. And I think that should be the theme of this show but anyways not gonna i'm not gonna sprinkle too much hate but for us to get started brandon we talked about this off air i'm a little grumpy and this could possibly be where

my heel turn begins because the show is upsetting for everybody listening if you thought he didn't like the first season he really does not like the second season it's not it's not that i don't like it i just think that there's like a million other things that i could do with 30 minutes rather than listen to these this it's it's not it's not the actors let me let me preface, Brandon. The actors love the actors. They're absolutely great human beings, I'm sure. And even if they're not great human beings, they sure do try hard in the show. But the writing, the writing. The writing is where we're dropping the ball here.

The writing, it's the same writing team that was season one yeah but we we you know the the elephant in the room we had all that the the off-season drama in between season one and season two we lost emilio they trimmed a whole bunch of other characters i got the list here if you want to go through our our list of fallen teeth yeah we'll do that in a second but i'll just finish my little piece of venom and i'm just gonna say that when they lost bombay they lost the minnesota miracle magic and you can feel it you can you can feel it so that's another that's another line that i want to talk about that they dropped um when we get to it but yeah they without bombay the the issue i

have is without bombay we bring in josh guhamel as the new hockey coach, hockey guy. And we're just – we're redoing all the storylines we did in season one with her – with Lauren Graham, Alex Morrow, trying to break down the hockey guy and show them that having fun is cool. We did that in season one, and now we're doing it again for some goddamn reason. Yeah, no, but Brandon, this is really different because this time he has a kid who would have been playing for the Don't Bothers if they were back in Minnesota.

So it's different, you know? I'm just kidding. It's going to be, we know exactly how this is going to end, right? Grumpy hockey coach gets his heart softened by quirky Minnesota gal. Yeah. And that's, I mean, that's, I think that's a broader problem with a lot of these Disney plus series or Disney series in general. That is so generic. These like kid sitcoms essentially.

And again, I mean i'm this is we're not the demographic the target demographic because we're not kids that's that's why we're that's why we we don't get it or whatever because we're too old we're not the target demographic but i'm too old for this shit but the the issue lethal weapon style brandon sorry to interrupt sorry no you're fine but my point is with these kind of shows where there's no – where you have to resolve everything at the end of the episode, there's no long-term storylines. And so season after season, you just retread the same beats, same storylines. And so it gets old, especially if you're doing what we're doing and you're dissecting every tiny little second of it. Yeah, there's a lot of opportunities. You know what?

These shows are best. You just throw it on in the background and you don't even think about it. That's what these are for. That's true. But you know what? It's part of the Ducks universe. It's canon. Heat's bad mood aside, let's jump in.

Let's dig in. Let's dig into this episode because i it kicks off with a really nice recap brandon that was the one thing that they did well in this series i'm gonna i'm gonna call it the recap i'm gonna no because they did bombay dirty they fucking they cut him they cut him out of the recap they not only not he was in the recap he was in one scene and the only reason he was in that scene because he was the only on the top of his head he had two lines yeah his what was his second well one line they don't show him it's just his voice on overlaid and the other scene he's only showed

because he's the only person that says hey we're going to state in the entire show so they couldn't cut that out they needed that but otherwise they cut him out of the entire recap he's gone i'm surprised they gave him any run brandon i'm surprised they gave him that's your dog run at all they were they were a lot nicer to him than i thought they were going to be i thought they were going to run him through the mud i thought they were gonna yeah so they were they just didn't they were pissed at him for not doing the jab you know and they're they're going to spit that out. I still have so many questions about how that went down. Everyone was at fault.

We'll just leave it at that. Everyone was at fault because that's how it usually is. Everyone is a little at fault. I'm willing to give Bombay more slack. Not because – I mean he came out and said he was i don't know there's just a lot of misinformation and usually when there's a lot of misinformation you blame the person to blame is the person with the most power and the most ability to manipulate that information and that's disney yeah oh listen disney gets no free passes for the rest of these episodes.

Like, I'm already pissed at them for what they've done to Star Wars. Like, now they're fucking doing it, but way worse to the ducks. This is, I got serious beef with Disney. Yeah. This is why I'm thankful that Harry Potter is at Universal Studios. Disney can't fuck that up. For now, Heath. Just wait. Oh, my God studios disney can't fuck that up for now he's just wait for oh my god brandon don't put that no i'm stopping you don't put that into the universe or if disney

buys lord of the rings they'll be even worse than what amazon's done to it like you just can't even tell what what shit they've made up dude give it give it 20 years and it's going to be one company that owns everything. Oh, God. All right, all right. But so for anybody who's new to this and hasn't been following along, didn't go back and listen to Game Changers or didn't even watch Game Changers, from season one to season two, as we mentioned, Bombay is gone he he he left the show um and then um the i'm gonna go through our our other fallen heroes because there's there's some pretty there's some pretty heavy hitters that were that were missing at least do do do do i can't whistle um very well but that's my hunger games little yeah little three finger salute and i'm hoping i'm hoping

that these people are are gonna hopefully follow a similar path as bombay where they'll come back in season three right that's i would hope yeah but post ice palace repair although first things you'll get into mj but, but she wasn't on the pod when we started. First things first, we lost Lauren. Lauren's done. She's gone. Out. Logan.

Do you think that they're off the team or maybe they just couldn't afford, like Logan, single dad, maybe just couldn't afford super expensive hockey camp. Same thing with like lauren's parents lauren's parents are dentists they should be able to afford that maybe lauren's just out of the logan's logan's rich that was his whole thing because he had the 18 million dollar skates logan's oh that's right that's right is rich single dad yeah so i think i think they're done i think we're not they're not coming back i think they're they're I think they're not coming back. I think they're similar to Carp and Peter after the first movie. They just quietly off into the sunset. R.I.P.

Maybe they transferred to a new school. Maybe. But then we lost. So like you mentioned, no MJ. Not even on the pot. Not even on the pot. And Terry. No Terry?

Number two, Brandon, I need some resolution. What happened with Nick and MJ? Are they still on the pod together? They're still number two in Northeast Minnesota. They're not together anymore. That's for sure. How do you know? Because he's talking about meeting girls in the first episode.

Oh, yeah, that's right. They better not be together, Nick. They better not be together. If Nick cheats on MJ, I on mj i'm gonna fucking lose it he wouldn't come on nick come on he would never do such a thing nick is literally the only good thing about this show so we won't solely nick at all so that's why they they they either broke up or maybe because they never i don't think they officially got together so So maybe they just had a little hockey fling and then they were like, okay, that's enough. But yeah, no MJ, no Terry. Our friend of the program, Terry.

Friend of the program, yeah. RIP, Terry. And then the one and only. No Winnie. No Winnie sighting. They were even at the Ice Palace and they didn't have her show up. Yeah, I know. You're the only person that loved winnie that much i know no one else even cares or notices i know it's a fucking travesty though yeah but and then the

the other ones i i uh stephanie yeah stephanie and the twins we which i figured that's what we get the twins yeah i figured the twins would have joined the team, but maybe. So I think we assumed incorrectly. Like, I think that the teams stayed separate. It's just that they had to change names. Yeah. That's what we,

I thought that they would. Well, actually we talked through a couple of different possibilities. Yeah. Like I thought that maybe like they would kind of like join as like one United Duck. You know, United Ducks of America. They could have. I mean, technically we only have the Ducks, the new Ducks.

We only have five team members right now. It's some kind of bench. Yeah. So, all right. But Stephanie and the Twins, that was a bummer. Stephanie crushed it. We did talk through a bunch of different possibilities, though. Maybe them merging.

But, yeah. But so, based on this episode, the teams stayed the same. They just – Changed names. The new Ducks take the names. We don't know the new name for the old Ducks. Yeah. We did get a Coach T reference.

But they're the Barnstormers. Oh, that would be a great fucking name for them that's a baseball team somewhere and i apologize i can't remember it's a it's um or is it a or is a uh one of the arena football league teams it's it's both it's it's like uh it's one of the minor league baseball teams names or used to be a minor league baseball team name but and then it used to be the the the Iowa Barnstormers were the arena football team. Oh, that's who it was. Great fucking name though. Yeah, great name, terrible state.

That'd be a great name for Coach T's team for sure though, the Barnstormers. Yeah. So – all right. And then no Coach T, RIP Coach T. Yep. We did get a he they did reference him though they mentioned him i'm glad we saw him i love that i love that uh coach cole josh mills character calls him coach t he's just coach t yeah i love it too so so that's that's a nice

little list of the fallen soldiers and And, you know, RIP. We miss them already. I especially miss Coach T. And Stephanie. I mean, every single one of them were great. And, like, Lauren. Lauren was, you know, she was the, what was she? Was, like, the warrior princess.

Warrior princess. You know? Logan just finally learned how to play hockey. Poor kid. You know? Well, I mean, he just, he would have play hockey. Poor kid. You know? Well, I mean, he would have just gotten diced up even worse than Nick. I mean, I have that written in my notes later on when they're, like, doing the icebreaker thing. And I was like, these motherfuckers just learned how to skate.

What are we doing? And now they're playing against, like the not just the best in minnesota but like the entire nation yeah yeah these are like with like they're playing real kids with like real equipment they're playing against secondhand they're playing against aj lawrence aj fucking lawrence aj lawrence hey you know macho Man always knew it. Brandon, the cream of the crop will rise to the top. Oh, yeah, baby. That's AJ. Exactly.

All right. All right. Can we start digging into this episode? We can get this over. RIP to the fallen. We miss you all. I already missed season one. But here we go.

We open with a little nod to the D2 Ducks. At least that's what I saw it as because they were wearing the throwback unis skating through school yeah well i thought that was fun you skipped over nick's podcast the little podcast he mentions he mentions that there's well that says it opens as it opens we got nick breaking down solo with the wraparound doesn't even mention about how it ends with mj still number two though which is still the best uh hockey podcast and it was in northeast minnesota yep second best you know still number two hey this is good stuff too because he's like pulled off a hockey miracle didn't bring any

additional listeners which you would assume that when you pull off a feet like that you would get a little run but it just didn't work you know especially when you got when you pull off a feat like that, you would get a little run, but it just didn't work. Especially when you got Terry on the call, dude. Yeah, and he took the wrong double trouble. It's rough stuff. And my favorite, too, is he goes, but to kick things off, let's catch up on some bad yet not unexpected news. The thing that we've talked about already and knew a long time ago, the Ice Palace is in complete shambles. Bombay is out facing lawsuits of epic proportions for running, for keeping a condemned building open.

I don't think anybody got hurt they didn't mention that you know they said i'm assuming that brandon let me assume these things well they said it got condemned for structural damage and then nick mentions that the coco machine caught fire so i'm what i'm assuming is the coco machine caught fire bombay calls in the fire department they come they put out the fire and then they look at the building and they go this yeah what are you doing here dude and then and he then they condemn it yeah like quadruple yikes this is about ready to fall to pieces um what what is what does uh fulton say when he comes out he goes you guys should be standing here that wall could fall down

at any time i shouldn't even call it a wall that's exactly what he says because uh because bombay brings in the best construction guy he knew and then they roll up the door fulton and that's how he hits them with that great line with the wall but then brandon we get a surprise of all surprises who is it it's the fucking bash brothers dude bash brothers are back man we just talked about um for how long this summer fucking portman is back and he says yeah dudes i'm new on the job but buckling's a bad thing all the way from uh from borgin park chicago good old fucking date foreman did he did it seem like he was like talking like a stoner to you or was that just me i couldn't pick up like what his vibe was supposed to be but it was uh i love seeing it his vibe is dean portman that's his fucking time

just portman fucking cutting off the sleeves to his uniform if you didn't think portman was a stoner like back there but come on dude there's no oh that's true that's true that's and that he's wearing a bandana he's listening to you know got tattooed yeah he's got yeah he's the dude was smoking weed throughout the junior goodwill games ripping a few heaters in the locker room all right all right so um and then the kids are like, well, isn't this kind of dangerous? And they're like, are you kidding me? We're the bash brothers.

And we get the old fist pump, the old chest bump, throw the bandanas on, throw the bandanas on. Come on. That is, that is absolutely great stuff. But this is where we do need to stop the pause the show really quick,

Brandon, and send out a quick message to all the millennials that are watching this show, thinking that they're going to get a sprinkle of that ducks magic. It's over. That's true. Let me save you the time, Brandon.

Yeah. I tune out now. That was my first thought too. When they showed up right away, I was like, Oh shit, we're going to get like ducks and get some good shit. Yeah.

And no, never, ever. And I, I doubt we're ever going to, I doubt we're going to get another cameo, you know? Yeah.

So I take that. I take that back. I assume, I assume Kenan's going to show up. Yeah. That's the other, that's the only cameo I'm expecting is, is a Kenan at the, the what is, expecting is is it keenan at the the what is what

oh my god you know what's gonna happen keenan is gonna teach nick the knuckle puck and nick is gonna win it with the knuckle puck in the for the scouts or something i don't know i mean that's how he's gonna get into the game i don't know maybe something but that's what's that's gonna happen but anyways so millennials you can tune out um you can wait until probably like what like episode six or five when honestly like i like we said earlier for for our fellow millennials we're not the target market the target demographic for this i would just punt on the season i would not pay attention to it maybe maybe keep your ear to the ground on like red Reddit or Twitter for when another cameo does happen. And then you turn into that episode.

But otherwise, go on with your life. Wait till Bombay comes back in season three. Great advice, Brandon. I mean that's – you know. I love that Nick wants to be part of it. We're throwing our own podcast under the bus here, telling people not to watch. Oh, yeah. Well, listen, you don't have to watch this terrible show.

You can just listen to us yell at each other about it. That's true. Easy breezy. I don't know which one is more painful. No, no. Listen to us chit- chat about it is way better and and yell at the writers of disney for ruining all the things that we hold precious in our childhood um but they like like we mentioned though with the with condemning the ice they they did they treated bombay a lot nicer than i thought

they were going to do one of our theories if i correctly, one of your theories is they were going to have the Ice Palace fall on Bombay and kill him. We were so close. We were so close. We were so close. I was – if that would have happened, like that's what I hoped too when they were like, oh, the ice – we got bad news about the Ice Palace. I was like, oh, shit. This is it. They literally fucking killed Bombay.

Bad but not unexpected news. Bombay is dead he died in a collapsing ice palace in one of the most horrific hockey injuries of all time and winnie was there with him unfortunately all right all right so but uh but yeah so that about to be the most boring summer ever because all they wanted to do brandon was hang out at the Ice Palace with a grumpy Bombay sharpening skates and playing hockey. They leave the door wide open for Bombay, though. So they got to work it out for season three. Bombay is going to come back.

They leave the door wide open. We need the Minnesota Miracle Man. So no Bombay, no Ice Palace, no summer Ice Palace hockey to play with. So what are we gonna do heath well all of a sudden we hear but little little ping little fun ping time that's a solid uh noise that you did there isn't that what it sounds like right nailed it yeah i don't know yeah that's sometimes i make too many sound effects, I'm sure. But anyways, we get the message, and what is it? Oh, my Atlanta.

It is an invite from Epic, the best summer hockey program in all of the country. And these Mighty Ducks have been invited. Elite Performance Ice Center. Yes, Epic. I can feel it After watching this first episode I'm already overseeing that fucking E logo everywhere Oh yeah, it's fine

It's like fucking Game of Thrones where they just have the sigil Everywhere in the background Everywhere you look is that fucking E Well I mean I can't remember what like i don't want to spoil a different episode but like you know nick mentions in a line like they weren't supposed to be there and so some of them didn't get hockey sweatshirts like they thought they were going to and he was really upset and so like they probably just had a whole

bunch of swag to give out right no the sweatshirts I think was a different party that he was remembering that he didn't, they didn't have one for him. Oh, gotcha. Okay. But yeah, yeah,

yeah. Yeah. Way to spoil the rest of the episode. Don't talk to me like that. Brandon. All right. Let's, but summer is saved.

And so we have the kiddos there. They're all packed up and they're ready for an adventure of a lifetime la here we come and we get to be it's gonna be epic yeah we god damn it and we you're the worst and we get the rv from breaking bad rolling up with alice driving it was it the rv for breaking bad more or less it was it wasn't the exact one though it wasn't the exact one i wish it was i thought that the whole time it's just jesse pops out hey motherfuckers we're going to la we're gonna cook some meth and play some hockey fuck yeah dude i'm watching that show jesse pinkman driving the ducks to la for their hockey camp fuck yeah that's a show right there put that

on hbo max sign me up it's a minnesota youth hockey team slinging math cross country god damn dude we're on something you got to pay for the the epic fees somehow you know oh dude yeah oh my god that's how they pay for the camp fees that's how they get the whole team to go oh dude listen it's not a camp not camp oh yeah sorry it's an institute institution fees. But anyways, Netflix would definitely pick that up. They don't make anything. All right. So Alex comes jumping out of a rickety ass busted down camper, which also I would like to point out, driving that from Minnesota to L.A. As someone who loves cross-country road trips and takes them regularly i know for a fact that motherfucker

is not making it oh no no no no you know what's not making it through the fucking mountains dude no no no not at all dude i've driven i've driven from atlanta to denver um probably five round trip trips just this year uh so i'm well versed in these these cross country road trips i take bi-quarterly road trips home to nebraska it's the best it's best but the dogs man i love it i love it dude it's around a little audio book man i'm listening to a little harry potter in the background i love a good road trip i like the i i enjoy it it's it's not uh it's it's definitely not the prettiest of drives um minnesota you're not doing it for the view you're doing it for the peace you know you just and the key is though like heath i've never known a second of peace in my life that's oh my god brain and

listen you just you're doing it wrong man like if you're in a 10 hour drive no matter how fucking fast you go like you're gonna get there in 10 hours so the best thing to do put that bad boy in cruise toss on an audiobook kick back and let the road take you where it may don't get all fucking uppity and riding people's asses and stuff because that gets really stressful what i do though is because i have uh my car has lane assist so usually what i what i do is i throw cruise control on throw the lane assist on and then i take a nap oh my god stop it dude you do not have a tesla get out of here you're about to murder everyone on the road so anyways that rickety long story short rickety ass rv yeah and you're doing a you're doing a minnesota to la road trip with with six kids five kids six kids in an art like you get one of those the schools have like one of those school big

ass cargo vans are literally made to transport six kids with luggage like that like yeah but then you don't have anywhere then you gotta pay for hotels you don't got anywhere to sleep that's the beauty of the rvs you just park on the side six kids in that little rv where they all fucking sleeping at dude there's not enough there's not enough sleeping space for seven people in that rv if you pull over on the side of the road i mean they're all laying on top of each other that's inappropriate well i mean evan and sophie are bunking up you had nick up top that's what i'm saying inappropriate at best all right inappropriate yes yeah sleeping

on the floor i'm assuming there's an actual bed in the back room you know listen i'm i'm not trying to like you know there's plenty of anything but you think you think coob's morning deuce on that rv is something you want to like sit in there with like you first of all you never take a deuce on the rv that's rule number one rule number one like oh man have it like that's what that's what that's what loves and and like marathons are for those giant gas stations you pull over i i love loves is the key to once again another like road trip you know advice use like the apple car play and then just find you a loves they're open 24 hours always have it's not always going to be the best of the best bathrooms but they're good enough

they always have like i mean as far as gas station bathrooms go they're better than pilot much better than pilot right or like a flying jay that's always a little dicey loves is their bathrooms are always at least 75 clean you know yeah but it's nothing and the reason why i they all usually have like a like a restaurant like a fast food thing tacked onto it too. So if you're hungry, you can grab some food. The only thing that I wish there were more of, we need more Buc-ee's. Whoever – like owner of Buc-ee's, expand. It's Buc-ee's are the greatest thing that can happen to your road trip.

How far north do they go? Because I know they're all over Florida. They're not very far north. There's one just north of're all over not very far they're they're not very far north there's one just north of atlanta like an hour north of atlanta that one is the one because no one knows about how awesome it is yet and so it's not it's pretty empty the ones in texas when i when you drive from san antonio back to houston there's one on i-10 there's usually a line of cars at the exit just to get in you know so people don't people don't know about bucky's man but they clean those

bathrooms as soon as they're done using so if you ever got to stop and use the bathroom on a road trip bucky's is a godsend that's a there's just not a ton of them i mean they're they're texas florida i assume they're like alabama and mississippi. I think there's one in Alabama I saw because my GPS sometimes tried to take me there instead of the one. Pisses me off. But anyways, long story short, they didn't necessarily have the best game plan for that road trip. Well, it's like Alex mentions as's uh given her spiel about the rv um she quit her job she's enrolling going back to law school law school but that's not we're in the summer right now you know you can't go to law school in the summer i mean you can't

if you actually really cared about anything alex think about that shit timing of her why would you quit your job anyways it's it's fine oh shit i why would you quit your job before i have for the summer before the school year started i have i have so many issues with alex in this this season so many issues yeah that's what one midlife christ alex's midlife crisis aside let's let's dig in here but they do have all the midlife crises you want just don't don't be poor about it, Alex, okay? You know? Don't have it impact your kid because you're a fucking idiot.

But what she does do, which is a solid, she couldn't afford it and she knew it. So she signed up as a job as a kid's camp counselor. But they want space. I have. No smothers on this trip. Have you ever heard that term before? Yeah, no smothers. Well, which, I mean, Alex is the king of smothers.

She's the definition of a helicopter parent. She's not going to give you any space here, Evan. Come on. You should know this. The only call out that's worth calling out for the road trip, Brandon, that I have to say, did you see the exit signs? The only exit signs that they showed on this whole road trip. Did you see where they were?

No, I did not pay attention at all to this road trip. Well, you should have because they took the I-80, I think it's I-80 exit in the Good Life. And I saw little Omaha, little Elkhorn Lincoln right there. There you go. They passed through the good life, Brandon. Shout out to them. I bet they loved it. I was going to say, do you think they stopped by for a big red game?

But it's the middle of summer. No, no, no. But you know what? If they would have done the road trip right, I bet you Nick would have loved to go to the Henry Dorley Zoo. That Omaha Zoo. Oh, yeah. I didn't know it was called henry

dorley is that what you said yeah omaha henry dorley zoo man i loved it as a kid i've heard great things about the omaha zoo it's got a reputation yeah it's it's one of the times that as far as zoos go yeah if yeah if your moral compass can allow you to go to a zoo like as a kid though zoos are the best but then as an adult you realize like oh dude being locked in a cage like that would no no that the the the only time i've gone to a zoo um i mean i've gone to a zoo a few times as an adult but you gotta be you gotta be pounding beers while you do it which is like they don't they sometimes have like halloween like walks where you can get beer at the zoo and stuff don't they denver denver you can get beer anytime now um nice they it was like a couple years ago where

they they started selling beer san diego i know for sure they've been selling beer at the san diego zoo since i was a kid um most zoos i feel like are selling beer now but yeah the denver zoo as i assume all other zoos they're doing yeah they all have theme nights nice zoo lights that's a big thing you know oh yeah yeah yeah zoo lights all right yeah let's let's start ripping through this this is already taking longer than one last thing about the road trip here um before before we show up we're talking about the trucker game how they make the truckers honk that was always classic road kids road tripping well three things then the the road trip the the classic honk that was one yeah the second one is nick drops a line halfway through the road trip

where he says he's talking into his podcast tape recorder yeah and he's like well usa there's a lot more about this country that unites us than divides us as he's talking about the road trip oh my god i love that should we should we just very quickly throw the evan and sophie oh that was that was my three that was my third thing was the the hand over the shoulder and then the necklace that he gave her, the pizza necklace. Yeah. Do you think – so they fucked this up too because the pizza necklace represented her taking a piece of my heart. They fucked that up. There was a pizza my heart joke or something. There was something there and they fucked that up.

At the end, once she puts the necklace on, she does say it's the best pizza pizza she's ever had. Yeah. Yeah. And she had a good line about like how could you not care about rational numbers no how could you not care about square roots it's the best way to uh show rational numbers or something like that something this is good it was good the moral of all that that whole interaction though and we said it last year i'm gonna say it again this year sophie can do better yeah that's exactly what that interaction was all about and and they're just you know they're kind of on two different pages and we're seeing that that's they're gonna

be the two there are two ships that are crossing in the night and we're right smack in the middle of that journey yep exactly it's gonna be there's there's already just waving as they pass each other by like because you know evan he wants to be super crazy hockey dude sophie's already lived that life man she wants to put that behind her so you know the tension started last year and we'll see it uh we'll see it continue but um but here we go brandon we are finally seeing epic um and we've got hockey sticks hitting the ground and we've got coach colin cole coming out here he comes and he wanted coach colin cole that's too many c's yeah it's yeah i love some alliteration but that that it's a little aggressive um but uh you know he wanted to create the future hockey kids you know and so that's where his sport he loves institute yeah oh man

the best of the best former nhl player wait he mentions i don't know if it's this episode or maybe the second episode, but he mentions most of the coaches as well are former NHL players. Oh, nice. I miss that. Yeah. So you're getting taught by the best here, Heath. Yeah. Wow.

My favorite is like, breathe in that smell. Smells good, right? But like he never talks about what they're smelling. He's like, can you be better? And the speech is just all over his place. He's got them. My favorite line is when he tells everybody to choose the path of most resistance. I wrote that line down because I'm using it from now on.

I'm like, you know what we should do iron sharpens iron he said that too i love that i love that cliche as well you know iron sharpens iron let's choose the past the path of most resistance yeah and then he he butchers a wayne gretzky quote too um where uh yeah when gretzky says says, I always skate to where the puck is going, not where it's been. And then he butchers that as like a way to ask what kind of hockey player are you going to be? Yeah, in your future. And then here comes the duck clown party. So I got a couple things about this.

They come in late um oh my god oh my god for some they say i under like listen that the the timeliness piece of it for them to that is rude disrespectful number one she's an employee yeah of this camp like she should have been there early for she probably had to be there the day before yeah for orientation and things like that and so she's just coming in thinking she fucking owns the place oh i just i hate that attitude of like oh summer waits summer has no time to get the fuck out of here so my my issue with the alex is is is proving throughout this episode that she's the worst person in the world. It's just self-entitled nonsense over and over again.

But my issue is – so she says Summer doesn't have a time. We can show up late to summer camp. So my issue is, A, it's not a camp. It's an institute. Put some respect on the name. Yeah know put some respect on the name yeah put some respect on the name they're gonna be uh mindful of the timeliness of the the schedule second have you ever been to a fucking camp before even the she has ribbons and unicorns one that she went to still had a fucking schedule yeah so my point is even if you're even if you're going to

the laziest most laissez-faire summer camp in the world where they probably don't even assign bunk beds right it's just a first come first serve you get to pick your bunk bed right yeah why would you not why would you want to show up late to that then you're going to get the worst bunk bed oh my god that's what i'm saying like she's been to camp she knows what it's about like there's a schedule there's always a schedule there's no camp that doesn't have a schedule there's no thing there's no thing in the world that you do with kids that doesn't have a fucking at least a suggested schedule you know kids are kids and you're gonna you're gonna fuck shit up but there's a suggested schedule. Yes.

Do you have to follow it verbatim? Anyways. Okay. Yeah. This is exactly like Bombay showing up midway through the fucking third period. Exactly. Time management. Oh, my God.

Time management, guys. It doesn't matter what decade of duck you are. No matter what happens, you have trash fucking time management. That pissed me off. I fucking hate when people – it's so disrespectful to my time. I don't – I have no issue with people showing up a little bit late if they tried to get there on time. But her laissez-faire fucking fuck this attitude where she doesn't care about anything is so infuriating. If it was like, hey, we would have been here five hours ago, but we hit LA traffic and it took us four hours to get two miles.

Like no one can prepare for that. If she shows up late and she's like, oh, super, super sorry. My bad. My apologies. Everybody shut up go ahead but no she shows up and she's like what the fuck are you guys doing you fucking rally oh yeah and like and so her mocking them taking it serious is just as shitty as them like being like hey you're like it's being such pieces like it's just a different version oh yeah

i think we talked about this last season because again we're going through the same fucking same storyline where she like coach t and the ducks and then coach cole here now this season they care so much it's one extreme she doesn't give a shit about anything doesn't care at all that's the complete other extreme neither of you are in the right here you got to find the middle ground yeah exactly which is the whole storyline and we found the middle ground in season one but we we already forgot where that was apparently and now we got to find it again yeah we're back to loosey-goosey duck shit but we see evan getting motivated by coach cole um evan evan's ready he Coach Cole. Evan's ready. He's ready to get epic.

But I love this. So this also didn't make a lot of sense. So we cut next to the rooms, our room assignments. And we see a three-person room where I love Nick's style here. That never makes any sense. Three-person room? Logistically, that's dumb okay so the second point of that is so we have a three person room here but yet somehow we have a two person room for coop so someone please fucking make sense of that

the only a two and three person rooms are on the same floor the only oh yeah well i hit kubes room looked a lot smaller um i mean they're building different i've never seen a dorm like that before i've never seen a dorm like that before it was a mix of three and two bedrooms the only time you would ever have three people in one room um for a dorm like that as if you had an extra like an odd number an extra person yeah that's the only time it doesn't make any fucking sense to do that any other way yeah especially two and two it should be two there's four there's two and two did you see how big that room was you could easily fit six beds in there yeah i don't know like it may like you could have just gone to i don't know whatever

it's fine it's fine um my favorite though dude i fucking like this show just pissed me off the whole time i was watching i literally was like i'm gonna try and be nice but i just i hated every second i watched this uh but what i did like was when i told you this is my heel turn like i usually am a nice guy but like deep down i fucking hate everyone so so here we go like here it's coming out like i'm very very nice but i actually hate everyone so i that's the secret because you said that i want to talk about something in episode two real quick because this is episode one can't wait no because you meant you said so you said a line verbatim exactly what alex says in season two where she's talking to Coach Cole and she's like, now normally I'm a nice person.

And then she goes into just telling him how terrible of a person he is. And I wrote that down because she goes, normally I'm a nice person. And I wrote down, that's 100% false. She's the most judgmental and selfish person I've ever seen in my life. She spends every single second of screen time belittling somebody else. But that just reminded me because it reminded me of you, what you just said. Because you verbatim said what she said. And Heath, I'm here to tell you, you're not a nice guy.

Yeah, Brandon, I am very nice in general. I try to be cordial and polite. verbatim said what she said and he i'm here to tell you you're not a nice guy yeah brandon i am very nice in general i try to be cordial and polite but like i said you're polite you're not nice though you're polite okay you're not nice you're the only person that knows how deep vicious i truly am but i just love that you said exactly what she says in episode two. That's what I had to point it out. I was like, no, you're not. No, you're not. Don't break down my facade in front of the listeners are watching as this nice guy facade is slowly getting chipped away and they see the angry monster within.

All right. monster within all right so anyways but before we forget about this nick does exactly what i would do calling the top bunk dibs easy and then he hits nick i shall watch over this room and all invaders will be vanquished that's exactly what i would say um so i love that and then he was like oh don't tell any girls i said that like I'm sorry like I thought girls wanted a Prince Charming you know a white knight to come in and that's what a true bastion of

good would say ladies love the bad boys ladies love Aragorn and you know that's actually you know what the ladies love Legolasorn and um you know that's actually you know what the ladies love like a loss so i i don't know anything but anyways here we go so pretty um we get that and then we switch over and we've got wait wait before you switch over to cube we got a couple

more great nick lines well nick has p has Pucky, his little pillow. Oh, yeah. I forgot about Pucky. And then Evan is talking about Coach Cole and he's like, that guy was awesome, right? That guy is super cool. He really means business. And Nick hits us with a line. He goes, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You can tell by the cut of his sweatpants. Tapered cut means business. Yeah yeah he's a pretty intense dude yeah you can tell by his sweatpants tapered cut means business oh my god you're right i i apologize i literally have that line in here and i just skipped right over it on accident and he skipped over he skipped over pucky too well i don't know how i feel about Nick and Pucky. He's a little old to bring a stuffed animal to camp. Oh, they're like, they're like what? 12, 12, 13, right?

Yeah. They're still in middle school. I mean, you're not, you're not bringing them. At that age, you're bringing a stuffed animal to camp first of all not a stuffed animal fucking roasted it's not a stuffed animal it's a pillow you're right it is a pillow but what did sam i'm with sam on this dude you gave the pillow the name it's a stuffed animal as soon as it has a name and so that's those are the rules brandon like it's don't don't ask me who makes them just the unwritten rules of a kid and i am just here to say if you would

have been in wayne america and we would have gone to a camp and you would have brought a stuffed animal at like 12 years old and i love stuffed animals don't get me wrong i would love stuffed animals a kid i'm not sitting here and giving any stuffed animal hate i'm saying you just leave them at home no you just leave them at home where they belong in like the traditional order in which you place them in the room you know like that's where they belong that's where they stay they don't travel with you you're one of those people that like organizes their stuffed animals in a specific order oh my god yeah that's i should have the the writing my mental health like red flag writing on the wall

was just there it's just you know small town nebraska back in the 90s it just you know i was just a space cadet but yeah but yeah i wouldn't i would meticulously organize my toys. Okay. Interesting. And I would think that was very fun. Interesting. Sort them. Nothing like doing inventory as a kid. Oh, my God. I should have known I was meant to be a warehouse manager for five years. I was doing inventory as a youth, you know, very early.

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We got A.J. motherfucking Lawrence. That was actually the only good writing that took place in this episode was in kube paid for the autograph that was actually really good shit um so anyways yeah we can't be aj jay lawrence played by connor de wolf who's the um if you went back to the episode where we talked about casting, he's the TikTok star. Oh, you can tell. He's overacting a little bit. A little bit, but I mean, these shows you get. But the writing is terrible.

These kind of shows, this is meant for overacting. You got to sell it, you know? That's true. Real campy. I did like, yeah, he grows on me. He did – like we mentioned earlier, everybody – I thought everybody did fantastic. With what they were given. Yeah, because I mean they were given just garbage and they're having to spin this into something watchable.

You know who pleasantly surprised me was Josh Duhamel. I had a lot of reservations about Josh Duhamel, but I thought he did – again, given what he was – what was written on the script, I thought he did well. After Buddy Games, I didn't have much. Well, I mean after Buddy Games, he can – he's only got – he can only go up. It can only get better. But anyways, we come in. We got Koob's roommate just ripping sets of – what are those? Pull-ups?

Ripping sets on pull-ups. What are those pull-ups? Dude, I'm not a gym guy. I do – I like to go for walks. Got a trick foot, so I like to – yeah. I got a trick foot, so I like to – yeah. I've got a trick foot, so I've got to go on hot girl walks instead of doing real gym stuff. All right. So anyways, Coob introduces himself.

AJ Lawrence introduces himself. Fort Lauderdale, top of the food chain. You want my autograph? I didn't catch that. Fort Lauderdale, Florida? Yeah. I like to think that he was the bastard son of like a tampa bay lightning player well fort lauderdale is the city that um the florida panthers playing it's just right just outside of miami oh well there

so yeah so it's surprising so good if he was uh you know the bastard son of a florida panthers player he wouldn't be this good he would think oh they just they did just get um uh matthew kachuk maybe he's matthew kachuk's son yeah but anyways because yeah that i guess i guess that's probably what they're going for is he's the son of an nhl player yeah otherwise um miami you know what the fuck are we doing yeah and uh and koob says. He's like, hey, you want my autograph? It's going to be worth some money someday. And Coop's like, okay. And he's like, cool. Ten bucks. Coop,

I thought that's who you're going to say surprised you as the actor. The kid that plays Coop, man, I'm seeing some good things from him. I see a lot of professional maturity in the acting game. He was good in season one, but he's much better in this season. I hope they bring out those vocals again. If he doesn't sing the national anthem before this is over,

I'm going to throw a fit. I mean, at least another beautiful musical. Give him anything. Give him anything fucking Barbra Streisand, right? Dude is going to fucking kill it uh so anyways um introduces there that's really great and then we see something i haven't seen in a really long time but the magnetic little table hockey oh that was great that they were playing that and then they saw wasn't that the magnetic one no it's not magnetic they were playing oh it's their new one they were playing that well they were they were it's not wasn't that the magnetic one no it's not magnetic they were playing oh it's their new one they were playing bubble hockey

oh it's just it's just foosball with hockey instead oh yeah it's bubble hockey oh okay well that's fine i fucking love bubble hockey that's that's like my ultimate my ultimate ultimate life goal is to own a bubble hockey game. Oh. They're not that expensive. They're only like $1,200. So it's not that lofty of a goal. I think I can do it. I mean, but if you're going to own any kind of game,

wouldn't you want to do NBA Jam? Well, NBA Jam is on the list too. Because they sell the the like singular standalone ones that you can like buy and put in your basement they sell those for nba jam um and those again those aren't that expensive they're like 500 bucks something like that so again not lofty goals the main the main issue i run into is i don't have the space for so that's i gotta get the space then i can get the games but yeah bubble hockey nba jam you can you can like customize the bubble hockey to where they you know you can get like

one team's wearing abs jerseys and the other team's wearing like red wings jerseys you can get like custom goal horns too put in that's fun my favorite was Galaga, but now I got too much carpal tunnel to just button. I set number one first place at Beercade in Omaha, just over there, ripping. You lost me at Omaha because I can't imagine the competition is very stiff there. Everybody's at the zoo. They don't have time to play Galaga. Well, I'm just Beercade. Listen, not to give them free advertisement.

That was my jam. Beercade in Omaha is like 1,000 beers on tap. And they would sometimes have free game nights. That's too many beers. That's too many beers. It was like World of Beers meets Arcade. Too many beers. Brilliant.

You're a fucking hater. Where were we at? This episode is taking too long. It's past like 25 beers it's too many you know tighten it up it's oh geez you know i some people like a little bit of uh you know i don't know what uh uh i don't know why my brain just went blank on the weirdest we're trying to see variety is that what you're going for that's exactly what i was looking for you know you know it's plenty of variety?

25 of something. That's plenty of variety. I need 100, man. I need something new every day. Don't talk to me like that. All right. But while we're playing hockey, we get Maya, Dare, and Sam. Dare you to go snag me a Powerade out of that machine.

And Sam, he's like, uh-oh classic sam heard the word dare and typical ducks fashion they start chanting can't just have sam go get the thing sam sam sam and that draws the attention of coach cole and he shuts it down because he's got in there well he was he was he was looking for him anyway because he was going to – he's looking for him. Yeah, he's looking for him. That just made him find him easier because of your shouting. Well, it finds him easy and it just paints the exact picture that he already had in his head of these clowns. Well, I mean –

Oh, okay. Sam was trying to do him a solid and put something back into the machine oh that's right that's right i mean what a what a good kid what a good kid what a great what a great fucking line that that that was a good line too when he catches them with his hand in the machine he's like oh it's putting something back in and he do mel did a good job of this too of just being like really direct just being like hey listen so uh made a mistake you're not the real ducks we thought we invited coach t's team uh you won the name in some kind of weird post-season underground thing yeah i don't know i love how he calls it some underground hockey thing underground this is my favorite line of episode one because whoever's that i forget what her name

is that the secretary marnie marnie is i dotted all the i's but i did not cross the t's whoops marnie classic marnie marnie is killing she's she's for sure the best new character she's marnie is my um winnie of this year am i falling in love with her no but is she my absolute favorite part of this season and i need one million percent more of her yes marnie's fantastic again uh played by stephanie weir of she's great of mad tv fame oh i loved mad tv i was i was weirdly more into mad tv than snl because and this should surprise no one that actually knows me. But like because of the Stewart stuff, I thought Stewart was the funniest. Mom, look what I can do.

No store. It's classic stuff. There was a solid – Butticles look like poop on a stick. There was a solid like two or three or three years span where mad tv was way better than snl top notch top notch but anyways all right so marnie crushing it um and and the coach is like listen i know you're solid but the competition is super high just don't think you can cut it and then marnie He's right. These motherfuckers just learned how to skate.

Yes. Coob literally could not skate months ago. Just a few months ago. And this is the best of the best in the US. I wrote that. So I wrote that down and I forgot to mention it. I wrote it down back when in my notes. It's right by where the RV when the RV shows up.

Yeah. How how far removed from states are we from when they they won the name back how far how far removed do you think we are they don't they never mention it but i'm just i would assume like like thinking about the winter sports season it usually starts in like what like november in high school yeah and then would like finish in like March. Okay. So March. So if summer just started. Three or four months.

Three or four months. Yeah. Like two, two, three months. Cause like if it ended in March and then schools out like what end of May, first part of June. Um, and then, and then we, there we, and then we are, we're there. We are. Right. So like three months.

So Coop just learned how to skate two months ago. Yeah. It's, it's regardless. There we are, right? So like three months. So Coop just learned how to skate two months ago. Yeah. That's regardless. My favorite, once again, is when he's like, hey, you guys should probably go home. Marnie crushes it again. She's like, I'm going to go get you some drinks for the road. Sometimes the return trip feels faster.

The only good part of the show.'s wrong though the return trip is always longer that's why that's why it was so funny the return trip has never felt faster not once well that's because you didn't have any power raids eve yeah that's if only right if only you know um but anyways um so so nick says he's torn between how painful it was uh for him for the coach to say that but also how handsome he is it does it does help josh dumel is a smoke show right brandon that's why that's why pretty people get so far in life is because no matter what they say you're like you know what i get it like it's it's fine. Just can I just stare at you for five more seconds? Were you,

were you chiseled from stone? Young man. All right. Hold on. Um, so yeah. Um, God.

And this is. I, Evan, I've never been a big fan of Evan. And so, so, so what mom? We're, we're just,

we work so hard and i want to be here and they told us not to bother again my favorite line is yeah so he starts crying like a little like a fucking little bitch he starts crying and he the line he says is he goes um he goes we're not even supposed to be here. This always happens. And right when he said that, I thought it was like, if it's always happening, Evan, maybe take a hint. You know, this isn't for you.

This is what's wrong. Not to get into like old miser talk, but this is what's wrong with the youth of America, right? Like sometimes it's not society. That's the problem. Sometimes it's not your surroundings that are the problem. Sometimes you got to look in the mirror and realize that you kind of

fucking suck as a person. And it's you that, that are the problem. And that's, that's just like, like that's, that's what I feel like is like my saving grace is that like, I understand very much. So my faults and why I'm not a good person.

You didn't realize you weren't a nice person. No, I very clearly said I'm generally nice and cordial, but I hate everyone. And that's me understanding that my niceties only extend so far because deep down I hate you. Have you ever – so one of my favorite movies of all time is lucky number 11 have you ever seen lucky number 11 it sounds familiar for some reason but it's with josh josh hartnett's the main character lucy lou's in it ben kingsley morgan freeman um it's about like two two warring new york gangs, I guess, like mafia type things. And Josh Hartnett gets in the middle and starts causing all this trouble.

But I bring it up because Ben Kingsley has a line where he's talking to Josh Hartnett. I think it's like near the beginning of the movie. And he goes, the first time somebody calls you a horse, you call him a jerk. The second time somebody calls you a horse, you call them a jerk. The second time somebody calls you a horse, you punch them in the face. The third time somebody calls you a horse, maybe it's time to go shopping for a saddle. That is genius. And so that's what Evan's running into right now. It's like if everybody keeps telling you to stop playing hockey, stop playing hockey, bro.

Well, listen, Brandon, this is a scrappy underdog story. We're not talking about – maybe also maybe not talking about like – Evan needs to understand where he's at, right? Like, yes, you can drive, but like it's like this – like this happens in the NBA all the time, right? It's like this small undersized guard who is really awesome in college, but eventually in the NBA, you just keep getting fucking swatted over and

over again because you're too small to play. We don't have a million Muggsy Bogues out there. I was going to say, Muggsy Bogues is a great callback. Another person, another really short guy that never got swatted. Actually, I take that

back. That's probably not true. He probably got swatted a lot. Do you remember Earl Boykins? I fucking love Earl Boykins. Yeah, of course. I think he runs a basketball school in Denver now. But yeah, Earl's legit.

But to go back to what you said, it's a problem with the youth these days um but i would i would i would agree with you on that but i would also point out that the reason it's a problem with the youth these days is because of uh these fucking parents it's it's this is alex's fault it's it's it's poor parenting is why Evan is like this. It's not – 100%. It's not a generational youth thing.

It's a poor parenting issue. That is a great call out because – Because she just – she's a helicopter parent. She lets him – she always goes out of her way to get him what he wants. And so now he just expects that to happen all the time. It's an epidemic. We with idiot children and trash parents yeah it's it's it's the it's two two two dudes with no kids and no parenting experience just do fucking better parents it's the tail end of the boomers and gen x they're the worst parents you know well well this is what this just goes back

to why you should do do have the heath method be polite to everyone but deep down hate them at the same time yeah just don't have kids let's just end this stop it there's no need it's just it's just uh everyone just let's say you're just. It's just everyone just – You're just going to – We're trying to depopulate the earth. You're just going to inconvenience your life and ruin theirs. That's all you're doing when you have kids. You're just passing down generation after generation of shitty parenting styles.

And then not taking ownership when your kids actually suck and it's your fault because you're an idiot yeah but uh but i wanted i just wanted to point that out uh when he said that when he was this just keeps happening over and over again so well maybe there's a reason it keeps happening over and over again and then they yeah they hate he hits you with the don't bother reference they basically he just basically just came in here and told us not to bother yeah go get a mom i said that said that said alex off that that's all you need to do to get her going you know how whenever you mention bombay's dead dad that gets them all riled up you just say just say don't bother to alex that's that's her dead dad and once again maybe i'm just weird but there was a very very clear rule and and clear

understanding between myself and my parents i fought my own battles they were not to fucking be seen up at the school they were i fought my own battles yeah i never wanted them up there if they like because like other kids parents would go my kid's not playing enough like why aren't you giving my kid playing time and you know sometimes they're like hey he you know this seems a little i was like don't don't you fucking go up there i got it i'll figure it out and like they were super cool about it i had a sorry i was gonna say this wasn't even – so this is a – so my dad never, never fought a battle for me. He never – I don't think he ever stepped foot inside a school, one of my schools. But while – before my mom passed away, she had one battle and it wasn't even my battle that she decided to fight in my second grade.

She – Second grade. I was in second grade and she in my second grade she second i was in second grade and she hated my second grade teacher and like i had i had no issues with my second grade teacher i was like she's she's a little weird but whatever i'm just trying to get through second grade here but my mom fucking hated her well she was probably doing shit that you had no idea it was like not cool you know i remember her like my mom got like in in yelling matches with my second grade teacher multiple times and then um like halfway through

the year they they transferred me to a different second grade class oh i love that dude they're just like because you're in second grade there had to have been something going on that your mom was like fuck no we're just we're not playing these games. I mean my mom was crazy. It could have just been a personal issue that she – like my second grade teacher looked at her wrong one day. She was like, oh, fuck this. Yeah. You got a problem with me, bitch?

Not teaching my boy. All right. So anyways, long story short oh my god and then i hated this speech that alex gave if i was coached you know and yeah she's the dumbest fucking speech ever these kids have magic i've been there they sure do i'm at get a leave my institute? A Bombay Hans, Yons and Winnie. I'm throwing Winnie in here because she's part of that family. I've,

I've, I've, I've willed that into existence. Yeah. All you don't have any of those people with you. You have no magic. It's gone. You have no magic.

Those are the only people that have magic. Yeah. Yeah. Get the fuck out of here with that magic. And she, she kept, she, he was like she he was like

he was like well we wanted the the real ducks and she was like well we beat the real ducks i mean yes alex you did but again it was an underground fucking fluke of a thing yeah like this is this is why the nba and the nfl don't have like an ncaa tournament they don't want a one game fluke to decide who the best team the nfl does have an ncaa tournament it's it's single elimination it's the exact same thing well i mean i i mean like that big like that large of a like tournament thing right like you don't want everyone to get into the tournament i mean you need to trim the fat i mean so that you get the best of the best that's why that's why they don't want to expand the college football playoff right like that's why there's been so much pushback in expanding the college football

they don't want you need to expand it to 12 12 i'm not i'm not opposing it, Brandon. I'm explaining the logic of not expanding the playoffs so that you don't get – There's zero logic involved in college football. I'll tell you that right now. They're trying not to solely the regular season. I'm not saying it's logical. I'm trying to explain to you why you don't want to muddy the waters. Deep in SEC country for three years now, Heath, there's no logic to any of these people. It's 100% emotion. All right. deep in sec country for three years now he there's no logic to any of these people it's it's a hundred

percent emotion all right we need to get faster through this episode but i agree with you the south is the worst i just living here is weird but it's fine it's not the worst it's it's it's not the worst it's just living here is weird and it's not always for me all the time i liked it more than i thought i was going to. I will say that. I like, I like Savannah. The rest of it. You can take her leave. Okay.

Well, particularly Georgia, Atlanta. Oh, you, if you're in Georgia, you need, you need to stay in Atlanta,

Savannah. I think that, I think that's it. You can maybe, you can maybe talk me into Macon, maybe On the right day Go to the Macon baking game

Is that the baseball team? Yeah I was thinking the hockey team is Macon Mayhem But Outside the city Once you get to rural Georgia, it gets real dicey, real dicey, real quick. All right, Brandon, this episode has taken way, way, way too long.

An hour for this? This is too much. Let's power through the end of this. Let's hit the icebreaker. Here we are. Icebreaker time. Kids are staying. They're celebrating.

Alex talks them into letting them stay. Yeah. And, yeah, here we go. We're doing the icebreaker. And they come out and their team uni is looking like nerds. Nerd alert. And so the icebreaker is they drop a bunch of pucks onto the ice. There's a blocker with a hole in the middle pushed into the net so there's a a center circle

that you got to shoot the puck through if you score you're safe um and then it just keeps keep going till the last one's there my question last man standing wait did you hear his quick line that he's like some people came as a team quack quack yeah yeah so he does that and then right at the end uh right before they drop all the pucks he goes i wrote this down because it was fucking stupid he goes okay everybody there's only one rule play hockey oh god fucking idiot but uh i i want i got a quick question before we delve into what happens in this icebreaker before pre pre-public shaming of the last man on the ice why are all the goalies and their goalie equipment if the if the point of this game is to score a goal why would we not put

them in regular equipment why is kube and there was like six or seven other goalies I saw to all decked out in their goalie gear. What are we doing? It's way too much logic for this, Brandon. I don't know what I don't know what else you want. Of course, they're not going to put them in. Did you see that? Did you see Coob's sick fucking? He has a custom hockey goalie mask now, and it says Coob on the bottom, like right on the chin.

It looks fucking sick. I hope you see that again. Coop's goal was great stuff. My favorite part of Coop's goal was him just getting. Oh, every single one of his goals is ridiculous. My favorite part about Coop's goal was him just getting absolutely just mashed, just getting destroyed by pucks in the back just getting ripped to shreds rapid fire that's the only good part about coops is just getting destroyed and then of course he gets super yeah all the the the ramp goal which technically counted that was the worst i i hated it all my favorite was nicks though We'll get to it in just a second

Sam had the best goal The fucking headbutt And right before that He proves to everybody what I've been saying All along He should have been the fucking goalie I knew you were going to say that I was like oh boy here we go

Sam is the goalie Maybe he transforms into the goalie And then Koop becomes a defenseman. Yeah, he pulls a Goldberg, goes to defenseman. That would make sense. I'd be all for that. I'm all for that. Did you like it? AJ is the first to score too,

right? He rips Evans' stick out of there, yada yada. My favorite is Coop pulls Nick down. He's like, I'm a goalie. I don't score goals. And they're like crawling to safety. And then D'Mell is like, put the biscuit

in the basket. Yeah, great line. Great stuff. I love that. I say that all the time. You gotta put the biscuit in the basket, man. Sam fully wipes out. Evan gets wiped out again. But then when he gets the puck, he like runs in and he just, you know. You know what that was, right?

That was the order up? Yeah. He fucking stole Logan's move. Not only do we kick Logan out, but then Evan's out here stealing the pancake move. Does that surprise you at all evan evan is the kid that like his buddy like sam says something really funny and hilarious and it catches on and then evan is the type of person to overuse it and then claim that he was the one that started it that's that is evan in a fucking nutshell right there that's fair that's fair but you know i mean not to not to rip on evan's character but i've never been a big fan

um so yeah anyways sophie rips one home sophie rivers and then sits there and helps uh maya out what a yeah what a team player dude surprise. Once again, no surprise there. And you already said it. Sophie, you have a whole bunch of just baggage sitting there. You are a good person and a good hockey player. You don't need that wart that is Evan hanging around. Honestly, she doesn't need the wart that is the Ducks. Yeah.

Oh, man. just a real i i get why she left the original ducks i mean because coach coach t seems like a nightmare but she could you know she could have picked a better landing spot than yeah yeah she should have gone to the hawks because right now she these these new ducks are like the chain she's ebenezer scrooge and these new ducks are the chains that hang that she must must carry through eternity you know those are her punishment but anyways um say you know oh you know it gets a ramp but what yeah so sorry this just popped in my head because we don't have lauren uh back either um no bash girls remember they set up lauren and maya as the bash girls at the end um so we're gonna have to i guess sophie's gonna have to fill in as the as the second bash girl here yeah yeah

but uh but anyways yeah we talked about how everyone gets out so then we're left with down to two and this was kind of a no-brainer right you knew it was going to be nick and you knew it was going to be the coach's son because we read i do want to point out i do want to point out before we go any farther with nick he slimmed down the He's looking like prime hockey player right now. He lost a bunch of weight between season one and season two. He's looking great. Yeah. But, you know, like that podcast body, that's a hockey body now.

I agree. I agree. Nick is being way too hard on himself. And you got it. Like, once again, they just learned how to play hockey. A hole that is like three inches like up off the ground. Like you have to get some air underneath the puck. And like if you just learned how to skate, you aren't going to be able to learn how to like like easily be able to rip the into the center of the net with like a board around it. You're just going to do what he did until

you have to pick it up put it on the stick and then stick it in that was an awesome goal but like you know what i mean like this is this is exactly what the coach is talking about like where they just they don't even know how to do a simple wrist shot yet you know yeah like it's it's not that they don't like it's not that they're not like, it's not that they're not good kids. It's just that they're not good enough to be at that camp because they're not gonna be able to keep up. Like it just, anyways, like that's it. That's the, once again, that's a societal issue as well. It's nothing against you.

Just, you're not that good. Need to understand your own limits, man. But anyways, um, God, and then i hated this too um so nick finds his freedom and then doom allison is like look i'm the last one and then the coach well better than that yeah because he whiffed on the the last shot like a real worst shot i've ever seen a real weird like like wait do you have you seen the meme and i forget what movie it is it might be like the duff or something but it's it's this meme that's going around it's literally the worst like oh it is it is the duff yeah it is the worst which is a great movie i love that movie i don't know if i I can't remember the movie,

but it is literally the worst athletic moment in the history of American cinema. There's nothing about that look like a competent throw. That was this hockey shot. That's all I could think about with this hockey shot. But they did this stupid played out Disney thing like, I'm not sure I am, Dad.

This is your dream, Dad. Not mine I already know how this is going down So I'm already bored of this kid So this is Naveen Paddock Playing Jace Jace Cole Josh D. Mills son

Who Looking real rough There are definitely some daddy issues here we got to work through yeah yeah so anyways yeah this is not your dream town it's on my dream town it's your dream town so anyways um didn't didn't the girl and brave had the same issue too right it's a very played out disney thing and how god i don't think i ever actually saw brave but i thought brave was i don't know that's just so many, but I thought Brave was... I don't know. There's just so many of these.

Moana, right? It's all your dream, Dad. It's about... I don't want to... I mean, that's... But Moana is just... Sorry, I didn't mean to use Moana in a negative thing. I fucking love that movie, dude. Like, it's good.

I understand why all the kiddos love it. Like, that one song. Like, that, like, you know, that, like, main song where she where she's like singing to the sea dude i'm telling you that thing that song gets me fired up i watched that movie last month when i was back in nebraska with my parents it's a great movie you know the rocket no surprise here but the rock is in it dude is fucking gold everywhere oh my god okay anyways all right we need to get this episode over with yeah all right so now we're debating back and forth should we stay or should we go now and evan is doing the hard sell we should stay um nick is doing the hard sell that we should go kub maya sophie are kind of in team nick sam starts getting everyone convinced like hey man

maybe we should maybe we should do this kube feels haunted alex is like this is not summer this is psycho evan's like mom it's time for that space and then he lays it on hard you know um and then nick is like you know he wants to run and not fight because sometimes you crash a party and it's not fun they don't want you there they're handing out party favors but you didn't get a sweatshirt because you weren't supposed to come these are traumatic experiences don't be that guy don't show up so anyways long story short evan finally gets them around because i think about where we started think about where we are now and so everyone's getting fired up um and maya already has a boyfriend somehow nick is flabbergasted at how how fast she can move she's locked down i mean that's how she was uh at the at states

last year she was i don't know what was uh was it zander was that his name yeah zander yeah yeah that's good wow on the what was it the uh fuck viper freeze right yeah viper freeze and i love that maya maya's new we better get some kick-ass fucking team names again. There's not going to. It's individual. He said that. He was very specific. It's you against you.

You against everyone else. And then they play. And then the top 20 play. No, it's not the top 20. Oh, did I misunderstand this? Yeah, they're doing a draft. The first half is all individual. understand this yeah it's a it's a they they're doing a draft um there's no there's no the first half is all individual the second half is they're doing uh tournament play so it's teams versus teams and then the the the ultimate team winner goes on to i forget what he calls it but it's

like a showcase with all the scouts yeah so so we're gonna have the rival canada it's probably not gonna be team names though it's probably gonna be like you know team e there's probably just gonna spell epic e p i c yeah but anyway so yeah um i need viper freeze maya or what what did uh what did uh mark chavez terry friend of the program what did he name his team? Murder Death? Nova. Oh, yeah. No, I thought they were the decimals or the fighting decimal points.

That was the other one. That was Terry's, yeah. Yeah, he said the fighting decimals and then the other one he mentioned was, I think it was Team Murder Death. Nice, nice. Okay. Well, anyway, so we got buy-in. Maya wants to stick with her twin flame. He's more than a soulmate.

More than a soulmate. Yeah. Kelly used to tell me that her and I were twin flames. Oh, so that's a real thing. I thought, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's like where it's like more than a soulmate because you're each other's. I don't know.

She explained it to me a long time ago. I sometimes agree. I haven't found my twin flame yet. Yeah. The applications are open though, ladies. But you know, this is a little bit of force. The applications are open. That's not, there's also not a real rigorous screening process.

So fire those bad boys on zero qualifications needed. Let's reach out to the pod email. We'll start setting you up. But anyways, Sophie says, I'm I'll stay as long as the team is together. A little foreshadowing there because we're starting to see a rip, right? Coob is in tears. He can't believe Evan believes in them that much. Nick is frustrated. He said, fine. Evan believes in them that much. Nick is frustrated.

He said, fine. Evan gives better, it's better speeches than me. And then we've, uh, we're, we got a group hug and, um, Coop says a great line. He says, we're in pain, but we're staying great line. Best line. Best line of the show. And then she goes and gets some ice, and then she's talking with Coach Josh Duhamel, and she's explaining to him how to run his hockey institute. Like, she fucking knows anything.

The audacity of Alex. Get over yourself. She's the most judgmental ever like i thought that stephanie put her in her place you know but it's just i i thought stephanie was too hard on her turns out she wasn't hard enough on her you know we need stephanie you know yeah stephanie needs to be here to check alex and like hey you know like the world is not about you let's get our shit together exactly so anyways well that's how we round it out and the coach says schedules are out see you tomorrow at 5 a.m because that's what winners do brandon they get up early bird

gets the worm. Yes. Thanks for listening, everyone. Please remember to follow and like us on Instagram at TheCakeEatersPod, on Twitter at TheCakeEaters. Also reach out to us via email, TheCakeEatersPod at gmail.com or visit our website, TheCcakeeaterspod.com.