The Cake Eaters - 49. Game Changers S2:E4 Draft Day

Episode Date: January 17, 2023

Heath & Brandon continue their breakdown of Season 2 Game Changers! On today's episode, they are talking through Episode 4 Draft Day. They discuss the breakdown of Evan and Sofi's relationship, Nick's Moneyball wheeling and dealing, more Alex Morrow bad parenting, Coach Toby coming in way too hot, how terrible the team names are, and we finally get a look at the full team of Mighty Ducks for this season. Follow us at www.thecakeaterspod.com and on Twitter (@thecakeeaters) and Instagram (@thecakeeaterspod) Email us at [e-mail]

It's not worth winning if you can't win! And with the last pick of this year's television watching draft, it is the Mighty Ducks Game Changers. Least favorite show of the year, Brandon. I mean, you're doing a podcast about it. It can't be that bad, Heath. Coming in hot, coming in heavy. I am a fucking bad guy.

You guys, everybody, you're listening to the number one draft pick of podcasts, the Cake Eaters. We're the A.J. Lawrence of podcasts. Oh, my gosh. We are the Gordon BombJ. Lawrence of podcasts. Oh, my gosh. We are the Gordon Bombay of all podcasts. It's just every time. Honestly, that's probably an apt description. Every time you think we're down because we have to deliver Game Changers content, we are a phoenix rising from the ashes when we start addressing these old Ducks movies.

And then just when you think that we figured it out, we crash to the bottom again. Yeah. What was the stupid movie that we did for Josh Duhamel? Oh, Buddy Games. Buddy Games? Yep. What a disaster. Think of us

as the pellet. Was it a BB gun? Think of us as the bb from a bb gun that hits your ball all right so episode four brandon you heard the theme draft day draft day we got coach a alive and well she's coming in hot Yeah she's coming in Something I will say The very beginning of this episode I stood up and applauded

When this happened Heath Because Evan came out of this dorm room right And he walks up to his mom And in a Perfectly even keeled Adult way He goes hey Can you please not pick me in the draft mom yeah i was like communication at its finest guys yeah great job we're learning we're learning to

talk about things i mean that was that was that you could that's the best thing evan could have done because i mean as we could tell from the character progression, if he got drafted by his mom, he's going to, he would have hated it. He would have had the worst summer of his life. Yeah. I'm, I'm going to apologize to the listeners in advance as well.

I did not, you know, live up to my usual note taking standards in this first episode. The first two lines that cover that whole interaction are draft day already hate this episode see i i enjoyed that scene because i was like finally somebody is taking the initiative to actually communicate what they want and how they want it i i know it's just so it's just so duh he's only said that a hundred times to give him space

yet he still is required to confront her face to face even though he's told her over and over and over and over again that he wants space it's still required to say please don't draft me and she was going to fucking draft him yeah she was going to fucking draft him

yeah she still was going to draft him the worst yeah and then so another thing i loved is so right after that she she started she walks up to coach cole because evan says don't draft me i want i want to be on coach cole's team hopefully i can hopefully coach cole will draft me don't please don't draft me. I want to be on Coach Cole's team. Hopefully Coach Cole will draft me. Please don't draft me. So she goes up to Coach Cole and they're walking and talking, the classic West Wing walk and talk. And she goes, I don't know what spell you have over these kids that makes them want to play for you.

And I wrote down in my notes. Accountability? Do you mean they actually want to play for somebody who wants to be there and knows hockey? I mean, shocking. Shocking that they would want to play for a coach that wants to be there. Weird concept. A hyper elite hockey institute full of crazy hockey kids want to get coached by a former NHL player. What a weird concept I forget what I forget what he says but he says something and Alex goes like it during this conversation he

says something and Alex goes oh where'd you learn that and he goes the NHL boom Boom. Mic drop. Shut the fuck up, Alex. You know what we did get, though, Brandon, was another delicious taste of my girl Marnie who comes in and says, hey there, coach. Big day tomorrow.

I've been very impressed by you. You drove out west like a little settler. I love that. That was a great line. Just, you know, just hit the Oregon Trail and head west. Go west, young man. Go west. I take that back.

I don't know if that was a good line as much as Marnie fucking crushed it, delivering it. You know? No, just a great delivery. And then she also says, and you just don't care what people say behind your back which makes sense everyone in that camp has to hate her oh absolutely hate her because she everyone else except for her in that camp want to get better at hockey and want to coach these kids to be better at hockey and if i'm a parent and i send my kid to an elite hockey camp and i've got oh if she drops my kids i'm asking for a refund i'm like one done one billion percent if i show up to the last day of camp and i see that that's the person that's been teaching my kid

i'm like you give me my fucking money back yep yep coach cole come here listen here you know because they're not getting coached but my other favorite is she's like she's like oh so you think i might have a chance like oh no you will be crushed it'll be hard to watch if only if only because we know what's about to happen i would love it absolutely love it if they lost every single every single game during this like i i hope i hope i hope the writers like throw that curveball that would be amazing if they did if they threw the fucking curveball where they just lose every single game and there's no come from behind underdog story that would be amazing i would love that you would have me back i would be like brilliant fucking brilliant fully bought in by the way i'm taking my apology back about my notes

they fall off at the end we just went out of order we get we did we switched but nobody cares nobody cares it just matters to me so i know what the fuck i'm talking about though brandon can follow my notes like a normal person. So anyways, we talk, we, we get Marnie, we get coach a, and then we move over to Jace and Jason. Sophie are talking to Jace is like,

man, I really don't want my dad to draft me. I, and Sophie's, I love this line from Sophie. She's like, well, you kind of suck so he might not

draft you savage dude so if only they gave like once again the writers the these these are awesome but the writers the kids are crushing it sophie uh is yeah uh so many buds yeah she fucking crushes it as Sophie. Yeah, all these kids are doing fantastic work. Even – I would say even Marnie, Stephanie Weir, who plays Marnie, crushing it, doing fantastic work. I've been pleasantly surprised by Josh Duhamel. I had zero expectations for him. And he's – again, what he's been given line-wise is utter trash.

But he's doing a great job of being coach cole yeah and then lauren graham's great as always um i love lauren graham i hate alex morrow but i love lauren graham yeah lauren grant but like man this character is not like she she's doing a great job um because i'm trying to think all her other roles she's she's like the i mean she's like the nice one right she's like the main character nice girl yeah she's like yeah so she's uh i i know it's not their intention to have her be the bad guy but i'm viewing her as the bad guy yeah and she's doing a great job of making me hate her you know yeah of like being the annoying person at camp that like anyone that wants to be there to get good hates like i i'm evan in this camp more than anyone else like like because that's how like if i went to like think like i put myself

into 14 year old heath if i went to a basketball camp you strike me as more of a Coach Toby kind of guy. Get the fuck out of here with that talk, dude. Anyways, if I, 14-year-old Heath went to a basketball camp. No, I take that back. You're Coach Chuck. You're the guy who, you're the loner who goes into the RV at night. That is 100%. Get me away from these fucking kids so I can just like have some me time. Speaking of jumping ahead anyway, but that's another trash line that, uh, that he gives is when she's pitching him the RV and, and coach Chuck goes, what's the, what's the shower pressure?

Like it's an RV. You fucking moron. There's no, there's none yeah you're what why born in a fucking barn if you don't do you're you're down the street from the elite ice you're the elite performance i say you know how great those showers probably are yeah like what you go and yeah it's i can't i just i can't even i there even And then there was another line They did coach Jackie real dirty with this line Oh we can get into that later

She's like I just want to hook up Yeah like what In the actual fuck Is wrong with you Number one Unprofessional again Number two Beyond inappropriate

There is a 12 to 14 year old child in front of you you are their coach you should not be talking about hooking up what is wrong with fucking adults these days dude there there's a there's a much better way to do what they were trying to do there where you make like a – like I'm not looking for – You speak in code. You do anything but say the fucking words out loud. You don't say hook up. You might as well just have her say the F word at that point.

Yeah. It's like, yeah, we're going to go fuck. Yeah. Same thing. Like, God, what is wrong with people? Why are you – There's just – Why are you saying that in front of a kid?

Like what is wrong with you? There's just – there's no charm or subtlety. Like, it might have been – These writers don't have any charm or subtlety, especially when they're writing kids. These guys have no business writing lines for kids. Yeah. They're not – it's – because that – I'm still so upset about that Olympic Village line.

That was so fucking egregious I agree And this is right along the same lines It's just Why? There's a million things that you could say That would have been clever And funny

Or something that people actually say Nobody would just be all hooking up Nobody would say that You would make some Silly little dumb joke or something You wouldn't just say something say nobody would nobody would just be all hooking up nobody would say that when you you would you would make some some silly little dumb joke or something you wouldn't just yeah yeah you just just be like you know you'd be like marriage what's that you know right anything anything other than what was said it was a terrible it was a terrible suggestion but it was a million times better than what was written exactly i'm not i don't claim to be a good another another one i have written down that that fucking drove me crazy is i think is it the next scene

it's when sophie and uh evan are talking to each other um well first first we get this. Oh, I hated this too. First we get AJ and Nick and the first serves the worst, but there's no payoff to this at all. I keep waiting for some, there's literally, there was no point to this. They didn't become friends. They didn't. Yeah. There was nothing, nothing happened with that. It was just, I think it was just to give AJ more lines.

Waste of my fucking time. There's so many better ways to do that if you actually thought about writing an episode. Yeah. It's just – oh, my god. So that pissed me off. And what kind of fucking summer camp doesn't have crazy straws? That's – You should always have crazy straws on deck.

I got a whole drawer full. No, no, no. Hold the phone. Hold the phone. Hold the phone. Brandon, they are in California. Yeah. You think they have crazy straws on deck. I got a whole drawer full. No, no, no. Hold the phone. Hold the phone. Hold the phone. Brandon, they are in California. Yeah. You think they have straws?

That's the home of the crazy straw, California. No way. That's the home of the fucking paper straw, my friend. You are thinking of California in the 80s and 90s, but this is – You can get a metal crazy straw. Okay. Well, they're not – Reusable well Reusable

I got a whole drawer full Okay They do come with all like the nice tumblers You know Alright so anyways Then we get It's the Coach speech Tomorrow night's the uh uh coach speech tomorrow night's the draft rankings lock tomorrow wear

your nice clothes don't dress like a schlub and we got the this is the draft lottery right okay yep draft lottery is going on much like the nba one i'm sure this is rigged um yeah well there's only one through that shot there's only one. There's only one. One ping pong ball per person. I was really confused when after she draws the ball, she reads the name and then she gives that person the ping pong ball with their own name on it. Yeah. Instead of the number. Because then why are they then they trade the ping pong balls, Brandon.

Like did you notice that? They keep trading the ping pong balls. But they don't have the number on it. They have the name on it. Yeah, well, the board has the name corresponding to the number though. So that's how they're keeping track of it. But you don't need to – That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard in my life.

A, you don't need to give them the ping pong ball because then what if somebody's going to lose that and then you're going to have to get a new ping pong ball next year. B, you can trade the picks without handing the ping pong balls back and forth. I hated the ping pong ball thing. I was so confused when she handed Coach Cole the ping pong ball and then handed everybody else. Why are we giving them the ping pong balls?

And to no one's surprise. You know how expensive a one-off custom ping pong ball would be? I mean, not expensive in the grand scheme of things, but considering how expensive a regular ping pong ball is, astronomical. They had Rich Eisen calling the coach kids game. He broadcasted to nobody. So you think they can't afford some ping pong balls brandon you're crazy i'm just saying you know accountability here heath somebody's got it

somebody's got to keep charge of the books here especially i mean actually it makes perfect sense for a camp that invited the wrong team you know listen marnie great character terrible bookkeeper yeah she's uh for for an assistant an executive assistant, her organizational skills are lacking. It's tough. It's tough. I'm sure she knows a friend of a friend. Yeah. Or she's like Coach Cole's cousin or something.

She's just a pity hire. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Just a pity hire. Yeah, exactly, exactly. And then, to no one's surprise, Coach Cole first, Coach Alex last. See, I was – I went back and forth on this. I was like – because spoiler alert, like we mentioned, we start trading draft picks so spoiler alert Alex gets up to the number one pick I went back and forth and I was like

I feel like it would have been better if she would have just got the first pick I agree 100% just give her the first pick that's fine there you go we got a chance she's gonna draft the best dude and it's gonna

be awesome yeah or he starts to drop on purpose right that would have been great and then AJ throws it to be the number two pick you know that's what they should have done that would have been great

have him purposely go down on the boards that would have been great that's what they should yeah exactly so uh and then um so anyways yeah it's um oh i did like this uh line though it says where they i don't remember who was talking to who. I think Alex was talking to Nick. Fate has its own language. We can't speak it. Or Nick says that. No, Marnie says that to Alex. Okay, there we go.

Fate has its own language. We can't speak it, but we must trust it. Oh, I should have known it was Marnie. Just a beautiful line there. Great. Great job. Yeah, great job. And then Alex and Nick are chit chatting and he's talking about all the way that like she saved him.

And then he talks about his fantasy knowledge, which this once again, pissed me off a little bit too. Cause spoiler alert, he says he is like the money ball of hockey. And then they just pick all the fucking ducks. Yeah. He says uh well because she well because so she like sophie is an undervalued talent talent that makes sense but not coob

coob's an undervalued talent but so so yeah so so nick goes up to alex and he's like i can help you out here okay we a i'm great at wheel and dealing, so we can get you the first pick. And then from there on out, we can get you – because of my fantasy football knowledge, my moneyball knowledge, I can help you find the undervalued talent, which is – yeah, that's great. That's fantastic. That's a great idea. But then she throws that out the window when she gets to their first pick and she picks Nick. Spoiler alert, she picks Nick.

So what's the fucking point? She comes up with some bullshit things. She's like, I needed the first round pick so I could prove to everybody how valuable you are. I know. But like, what's the point of all of the Moneyball stuff if she's going to just –

Well, she had no – so this is where she's a fucking piece of shit again is because she had no intention on doing Moneyball with Nick. She just wanted – she wanted all the ducks and she was just going to use Nick to get to the first pick. Yeah. That's what she was doing. Disaster. So anyway – disaster so anyway well they i'm assuming um i'm assuming with the the two picks that aren't ducks or the three picks that aren't ducks um they i'm assuming that's where the money ball came in was for those those well two picks essentially because the last one it was you know jace so yeah well anyways and then we get this is

what i think you were maybe looking for we get uh the confrontation of sophie and maya talking and maya's like yo what's up with you and jace yeah um you and evan solid because before we get to the draft when they're doing the the um lottery, the draft lottery, Sophie is sitting with Jace and no other ducks. No Evan. Nobody else. Just her and Jace. Yeah. Awfully suspicious.

Yeah. You know? And then after they say no, she says, no, we're solid. We're fine. It's whatever. Right? Like, oh, I mean, we're kind of not seeing eye to eye then we flashed evan this is when after our breakthrough at the beginning of the episode we're back to nobody talking to anybody about anything yep yep because then we

get evan chatting with um kub and sam they're like man it looks like you need a hug and he's like you know sophie and i just aren't seeing eye to eye i don't know if she's wearing that pizza necklace because she wants to or if you skipped over fashion you skipped over a good evan line when kubi's like you look like you need a hug and evan goes you know what i do but not right now not not in the hallway i thought that was a good one that is i would love a hug but let's wait till we're alone you You know? Yeah. Yeah. I need to stay tough for the rest of the campers. So, yeah. And then they're like, listen, you got to work it out. You know, you can't split.

It'd be awkward for the friend group. You know, my and Coop were thinking about this selfishly. I mean, they're 13 years old. Understandable. You know? And this is Like Coop says This is his first friend group He can't risk

Yeah He can't risk the group for Evan Yeah that's true These are high stakes That he is playing with And Maya Especially because he Him

Sam and Maya still owe Nick Big time Big time And now Evan's killing Christmas Yeah Classic Morrow. Way to ruin Christmas. Ugh, Evan.

The worst. Wow. Like father, like son. You know? Yeah, exactly. Anyway, so Sophie and Evan get a little alone time. Super duper awkward. But they're staying together for the kids. That was the line I had issue with. Was Evan they're staying together for the kids that was the line i

had issue with was evan going staying together for the kids classic classic what 12 year old would say staying together for the kids especially what what 12 year old whose parents went through a divorce or actually they never got married did they that was a fling yeah kind of thing yeah what what 12 year old kid whose father is absentee would say to another 12 year old kid me and you are just staying together for the kids right uh again as you see these the the these people should not be writing for kids or we have we don't we you don't have the the charm yeah yeah or the or the innocence to be right for kids here that's that is something that like alex and coach cole would say to each other huh staying together for the kids classic that that makes sense coming from an adult yeah not a not a 12 year old or 13 i don't I don't know how old they are, honestly.

They could be 21 for all I know, these fucking kids. Yeah. And then we get Alex and Nick trying to trade up. I don't know. It wasn't this episode because they don't really show it. But in – or no, no. It was this episode, last episode as well. Some of these kids that they have playing on the hockey teams or playing hockey or whatever, some of these kids that are that they have playing on the on on the hockey

teams or playing hockey or whatever some of these kids look real old yeah i'm pretty sure i saw a guy a guy with like a five o'clock shadow in one of the backgrounds oh yeah 100 they have adults as extras playing these kids um but this is right after the staying together for the kids line is where we get the coach jackie inappropriate talk um and then we get the hide camper hideaway with the stupid ass water pressure comment um and then nick hops on the phone with the fifth pick asks how wife and kids are doing um and then after that we get my worst nightmare sophie peer pressuring evan into breaking curfew yeah i thought this was this was a weird scene um and another line i have written down as terrible is when they're um so he gets scared by the bear?

When he's in the middle of the courtyard at the Elite Performance Ice Center, he sees a bush and he goes, bear! What? No. That would never It wasn't even funny. Not even a little bit.

Sophie didn't even laugh. No. I wish there wasn't I wish she would have got mauled by a bear That would have been way cooler Yeah I hated I just And to be honest with you I would have hated being peer pressured

Into sneaking out and breaking curfew like that I got real Heath vibes froman during the scene oh my god as soon as as one million i literally put the same thing down exact reaction like evan's reaction to marnie coming out with the flashlight is exactly what i would have turned listen i want to hit the ice early. I can't, I can't do this shit. My anxiety is a 5,000 out of 10. This, sorry. This is where, this is where Sophie has been, has been spending way too much time with Alex. Yeah.

It becomes super fucking Alex move. That's exactly what I wrote down. It becomes an issue where it's like, um, like like – like if you don't want to care, cool. I have no issues with that. I personally don't care about most things, so I understand that. I get where you're coming from, that you don't care. But when you start judging and belittling other people for caring, that's where you draw the line. Don't drag other people down.

If you don't want to care, don't drag other people down if you don't want to care don't care to yourself like mind your own fucking business stay in your lane and don't belittle other people that actually do care like people who make fun of like like people who make fun of people for like caring about sports or people who make fun of people who are like really into like harry potter or like a fandom or whatever it's like just because you don't care yeah like that's perfectly fine just keep moving keep scrolling do what just fucking live your life it's exactly like it's the same people that think that their opinion matters so much that they should stop and critique others because they think that they are the smartest person in the room newsflash buddy you're a fucking idiot yeah and you're just a fucking party pooper at that point so just let

people like what they like there are way too many fun sponges out there like just mind your own goddamn business dude yeah but yeah so this scene do their thing but yeah anyways it was real alex vibes where she was sophie was like oh you actually care you're an idiot yeah and like oh you don't want to sneak out and break the rules like no we paid a lot of money to get here and i want this goal this would make sense by me this her reaction would make sense if we were like if if it was like last season or whatever we're like in the middle of the season or whatever, and Evan is freaking out because he's going to miss a practice or something. And you're like, Oh dude, relax. But you're,

you're at the elite performance ice center. I'm going to say that out. I'm going to say the whole name every single time. The elite performance ice center you're you're here for a fucking reason. Like let's, let's do this come on and evan has said over and over again he wants to like coach cole to like pick him and like tutor you know like he is into it he's he's been very clear with sophie that he's like into it like this is cool he has been excited he has been pushy as well um he's wanting her to jump back on yeah it's the other flip side of the coin where it's like if you really care about something

that's cool that's all you you can't don't push it on other people yeah it's exactly like oh i hope to see because then evan was wrong when he was yelling at Sophie for not hitting the ice super early. Like, you didn't move up two spots. Yeah. What did he do? Even if you're caring a lot, maybe you're just, like, ripping 30 minutes of a workout or something. Not the full two hours. Like, let's calm down just a bit.

The last, like, 30 minutes, he's just skating around by himself like a loser. Exactly. Like, you go in at 7 to show the coaches you're dedicated and you want to be there and then i would have been there 7 30 5 45 7 30 just sitting on the bench wait just i'm here dude that's that's me now that's life just wakes me up naturally at 5 a.m. It's fun. So, yeah, it's just, yeah, the Evan sneaking out, I related to him. Both of them are wrong in this scenario. Both are wrong.

Both are pushing their side a little too much. Let the other person live, you know? A quick message from our friends at Broken Forest Collective. Built on a passion for small batch and handcrafted products, Broken Forest provides high quality casual wear and lifestyle goods that are American made and built to outlast the fast fashion trends. They also plant a tree in Boulder, Colorado for every product sold. Visit BrokenForestCo.com and use the code CakeEaters15 for 15% off your order. Then we get Nick and Alex. They were scouting players because the next day –

They're up right early just like Evan, putting in the work. Yeah, putting in the work. They're scouting players evan is just anxiously waiting and waiting and waiting for sophie to show up and guess what brandon no she doesn't you know and so evan uh again they don't do a very so that they don't do a very good job of communicating that there because evan is like begging her to show up in the morning he's like be there at seven and she doesn't say anything and he's like you're gonna be there at seven right she doesn't say

anything he's like okay i'll see you at seven she doesn't say anything and then they just leave and it's like come on guys let's let's let's say something here just say no that's all you gotta say no sophie yeah and so then post sc, we get the trade-up for the second pick. I wanted to point out, during the scouting, Nick and Alex are up on little bird's eye. They're looking down. And it shows this one kid zigzagging in between the cones. And then he rips a shot completely wide misses the net completely and nick goes oh that guy's awesome who's that and it's fucking evan yeah i didn't realize he

missed the shot yeah i i i rewinded a couple times so it's like like right literally right after he says oh that guy's awesome he misses the shot completely misses the fucking shot not even close to the dinner taking him off of the roster for personal reasons because they even then she was going to try and draft him and nick had to tell her like nope yeah yeah anyways so yeah then they're going for the second pick and this is where you get real serial killer vibes from the mind gym coach um where nick nick just jumps in and is like listen yeah she'll totally go on a date with you not realizing that he asks is gonna end up like in the crawl space you're you're skipping past the creepiest part is so they're they're they're wheeling and dealing and they're like we have the third pick you got the second pick

what do you want for the second pick? And he goes – I'm trying to – I'm not – I'm going to mess up exactly what he says. But essentially he looks at Alex and he goes, you're a real interesting person, Alex. You intrigue me. You intrigue me. I'd love – what does he say? I'd love to get a view inside your mind or something like that. Yeah, I'd love to get a look inside your mind.

Yeah. mind or something like that yeah i'd love to get a look inside your mind yeah and then you're at first i was like maybe he wants to like hook her up to like a like a machine or something to like read her brain waves or something but then he goes uh let's do dinner or lunch or whatever then he asked her out on a date but it's like why would you lead with i want to see inside your mind did you not get hannibal lecter vibes like opening up the top of the skull and like you know eating the brain of the person like that's all i could think of that it was when he said that i was like dude this this guy like dissects humans and like like while they're like plays with their brains while they're still doing like that's all i could think of well that's what i thought that's what I thought he was asking.

He was like to hook her up to a machine and like poker and see what the brainwaves do or something. But then, yeah, it's like just next time, just lead with the date. Stop talking about seeing inside people's heads. Yeah. Especially when you do it in such a creepy fashion. Nick fucking sells Alex out real quick.

He's like, yes, deal. Yeah. And, you know, RIP Alex if that date ever happens because she's going to be stuffed in a crosshairs. She said no to dinner, but she said we can do lunch. Lunch is lunch. Let's do lunch. That's the safest bet during the day, very public, and you can 86 on out of there. Yeah.

So anyways, we get draft night, and we have Evan and Sophie completely on life support, Brandon. And the friend group is feeling the pain. They're doing the thing where they've essentially broken up. They just haven't said it to each other yet. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. We all know it's the communication guys communication i love it um and then uh and oh and then coach uh coach cole tries to let alex like oh you're

all dressed up my sensing full buy-in in And she's like I'm gonna rock this Draft and take you down I'm gonna do this the Right way Go fuck yourself Alex And then with her head games She convinces Coach Cole In that interaction

Right before we go on To trade the number two pick for the number one pick so she she tricks him get some hook line and sinker yep and he says challenge accepted i don't need the first pick and then it it works to his advantage because she completely fucks up the draft yeah yeah yeah so new yeah spoiler alert well the first pick of the draft nick the stick she picks nick which i mean and i'm all i'm all we're huge nick the stick fans here so i'm all for for taking yeah shout out to nick but it was not the right draft pick and we get the um we get the final no payoff of the nick aj thing yeah we're back to he's back to ignoring nick it was uh yeah there was no there was zero payoff for that they

didn't bond they didn't they hardly ever talked nothing happened other than him bringing him things and like two extra scenes you know yeah it was pointless um i did i did love i did love so she picks nick and nick goes up uh nick goes up to her and he's like as your assistant gm this was a terrible pick but thank you yeah that was that was good and then i love i love how so then uh coach cole goes next um and he picks aj who was supposed to be the number one pick. That's all he wanted. He wanted to be the number one pick more than anything. And so he turns to the kid next to him.

I love – this was a great line. And Connor DeWolf, the guy who plays AJ, delivers it perfectly. He does. He turns to the next kid and he goes, the number two pick? That's called adversity. Now I got a chip on my shoulder. I loved everything about two pick that's called adversity now i got a chip on my shoulder i loved everything about that it's called adversity got a chip on that shoulder oh classic i can't i can't wait to see aj chip on the shoulder aj he's gonna he's gonna destroy

everybody oh that's the last thing that's the last thing you want to do with people like that is give them a reason. Yeah, give them some FU juice. And then we get Coach Cole gearing up to take James. You know what it reminded me of? Sorry, to go back to AJ. You know what it reminded me of is fucking Michael Jordan from The Last Dance when he's like, and I took that personally. The meme. I love it.

But yeah, so Coach Cole doesn't take Jace after Jace shakes his head no. Alex takes all the ducks. She takes Coob second. I roll. She takes Coob before Sophie, which obviously shows her. That was a gamble To let Sophie go that long I did love though

She goes I don't I don't think she knows Sam's First name Wait what Why do you say that I don't think she knows Sam's name. Why?

Because she picks Coob, and she goes, I am picking Jaden Coob Coobler. Right? Yeah. And then she picks Sam, and she goes, I pick Sam Samatar. Sam is his nickname, just like Coob. It's not his first name. His first name is Adeeb. Yeah, first name. His first name is – what is it? Adeeb?

Yeah, Adeeb. His first name is Adeeb. His name is Adeeb Samatar, and they just call him Sam because that's what he goes by. But she does the whole thing with Coob where she says – she does Jaden Coob Coobler, and then she just says Sam Samatar. I don't think she knows Sam's first name. She's a loser. And a racist probably took it too far but yeah i i wrote that down though i was like i don't think she i don't think she knows sam's name

and then surprised to no one coach cole takes evan knew this was coming he doesn't take him he takes him pretty late though because he picks like two or three kids that we that we see ahead of uh evan so evan goes evan goes where he should about the middle of the draft yeah that's that's exactly where he should be that's where he was ranked but so so then we she picks all the ducks right and we still got draft picks left, right? And this, in my notes, this is where I wrote, man, you know who we could have picked right here is Lauren and Logan. Or remember the Czech brothers? What the fuck happened to them?

The Czech mates. Yeah, the Czech mates. Yeah. Could he use some of those? Could he use some of that, huh? Don't have enough kids for the roster, huh? Dude, you know what probably happened? I bet this camp interfered with maybe like a LARPing convention.

And so Lauren, you know, went to the Minnesota State Renaissance Fair. Week-long LARPing convention. Priorities, dude. So we have, we've picked all alex has picked all the ducks except for evan and we still have we still got three picks left we got three picks to make up for right so we the first pick uh of an of our non-duck is cody lawrence is Cody Lawrence. You might remember that last name. You might recognize that last name there. Yeah.

Heath, you know? Yeah. From a little guy we like to call AJ Lawrence. So we get our first look, because if everybody listening, if you remember back to our speculation episodes of season two when we were going through the casting, we do have – AJ's little brother is a character. Cody Lawrence, nicknamed Fries, right? Because he's the perfect side dish or something like that, right?

Second fiddle. He's not as good as AJ. Yeah. So his parents – Side of Fries. Everyone always gets his side of Fries. Even his parents call him fries. Cause they're trying to fuck him up mentally.

Oh yeah. Well, I mean, look at what they're doing to their two boys. Like this is, I think they're doing a bang up job with AJ. He's got a chip on his shoulder. He's ready to go.

You know, adversity. He's AJ in college is going to be a disaster. Maybe, maybe he'll, uh, maybe he won't even have to go to college maybe he'll just make the nhl straight away or no you know what happens to aj he never he like never quite makes it maybe like a little knee thing and then um he goes to college and just plays in the rec leagues and joins a frat and then sells insurance. Now, you know what happens to AJ? What? Is he doesn't make the pros.

He just he continues on through here. Maybe he plays a little private hockey at Eden Hall, right? And he goes to college. He's from Fort Lauderdale. So. Yeah, but I mean, you know, Kenny was from San Francisco and he went to Eden Hall. Right, fine. But so he's in Eden Hall and then he goes to college, right?

He's playing some college hockey. Yeah. He joins a frat, does all that. Playing at Minnesota Duluth? He develops – yeah, or St. Cloud State, something like that. He develops a bit of an alcohol problem, right? Then he goes on to law school and becomes a lawyer. Then he gets a DUI and is forced to coach peewee hockey.

You're an idiot. And then you know he's coaching peewee hockey right You know who his first game is against Coach Cole Or coach Alex In order to try and connect With Evan after he's left the house And stopped speaking to her She tries taking a peewee hockey

team back to the state championship yeah uh but so yeah so we have so cody cody was the first pick cody lawrence aj's little brother then what was the other girl's name gertrude well it's probably gertrude but she goes by gertie gertie willie Williams. Okay, Gertie. Gertie Willins. Not Williams. Willins. The couple that trained me to work at the warehouse had an African parrot named Gertie. Interesting. Gertie Bird.

Yeah. And if you would tap your foot on the ground, it would slowly start nodding its head and then snapping its fingers. And I used to crawl up my leg and sit on my knee and it would imitate the phone. And then my favorite though, is that it had certain catchphrases of the guy versus the girl. And so like every day at like four, it'd be like,

all right, time to go. Cause that's what he would always say. Classic, classic Gertie bird. But the food drew a whole bunch of mice. So it was kind of the worst. Sounds terrifying.

Yeah. Oil and gas is weird. Anyways, what were we talking about? A bunch of fake ass birds. Talking about Gertie. And as I say, if you recall back again to our speculative episodes of season two, Gurudev's character description was she is a – she's from Alaska. She was the – it was something stupid. Like she was the only person on her team, right?

Or some shit like that. Yeah. Yeah, like she played against bears or something. Yeah, yeah. She's a loner. She doesn't have very many people skills. Yeah. Because nobody inaska ever talks to people you know they're all by themselves playing hockey with bears i did see a video on instagram of a dude letting his dogs out in alaska

and then he got chased by a moose oh moose are fucking terrifying you don't don't mess with me moose man that's that's what'm, that's what I'm saying. Like, it was wild. Like, he just like turned the corner and then all of a sudden was like, oh my God. And there was a moose charging at him. Like he would have gotten dead. Yeah. You know?

So anyways, did we say Alex takes Jace? Did we, did we mention that? Alex took Jace. So we didn't mention that because Jace is the third and final non-duck pick for Alex. It's the last round and she's like, ooh, I don't know who to pick for this last round. And Jace still hasn't been picked because he's pouting over in the corner. And Sophie goes, you should take Jace. He's one of us.

But don't bother. Not a duck. Don't bother. They're not the fucking ducks. They're the don't bother. Yeah. not a duck i don't bother they're not the fucking ducks they're the don't bother yeah yeah she says something like uh he's got he's got some issues but what all of us don't bother is you or something some shit like that yeah um so yeah so jace we got gertie cody and jace as our three new ducks and no evan yeah gtfo but yeah i wrote in my notes i was like who the fuck are cody and gertie why why could we why haven't we been introduced to these care why haven't we been introduced to

these characters until the draft you you would think it would you would think they would lay some groundwork a little bit that way it wasn't such a shock to hear their names yeah i i forgot i actually forgot that they breeze during the draft they breeze by cody and gertie real quick you know yeah it's like cody gertie and they show like i don't even remember what gertie do you remember what gertie looks like i don't even remember what gertie looks like I remember Cody had long hair And he just kind of did like a quick smile Well Cody's got like the The mop top You know

The mop top flow Where it's all curly And you know pretty long Gertie Is played by Margot Anderson's song She is I mean she's a brunette I mean she looks like every

14 year old brunette They all look the same Yeah Cool well There's your new Well and so yeah then we get after the draft, they go around and they say their team names and they're all terrible. I was so upset during the scene. I about threw my remote at the TV.

This is a dumb. Like, why would like what? Especially because you're going from last season it's because what they're trying to do brandon is they're trying to they picked stupid terrible team names like this to try and make the ducks seem like the quirky underdog instead of the mean old dominate yeah well they do they do like the corporate America. Winning is not a bad thing. Being good at something is not a bad thing. They do the corporate America thing where like when you break into teams and do anything, you name your team after one of the core values of the company or one of the motto of the company or whatever. So like all – there's eight teams.

We have eight teams. First one, Coach Cole, was – their team dominate. Yeah. And that's how they're referred to like sophie later on says you got on team dominate just so crazy but then there's so he's dominate you have coach toby is focus um for somebody was perseverance um somebody then there's team hustle i think team hustle was coach don right the the uh the the girl coach coach don yeah i think that was hustle it was you had coach endurance which i think was that might have been rufus i don't know then you had coach accountability which is the the loner the loner guy coach Chuck the RV guy and then uh coach Jackie team intention

and then and then it so it does that all in order right going around in a circle and then it gets to and they all have hats right there when they say their team name they present their hat that has the name on it the logo and they're all different colors like it's black red each team has their own color then it gets to so it goes around the circle it gets to alex who's last little circle and they're all waiting patiently with bated breath to see what this team name is going to be but like i said everybody has a team hat right they may the the elite performance ice center went out and made hats for every single team and so at the very least marnie knows what the fuck the team name is right and i assume she would have told you know it would have gotten out

that that we don't need to wait for the team name here's my issue coach i forgot the name of the coach who got hurt eddie would have already named the team and had hats printed out yeah you only you only you only named the team after the draft teeth oh really okay okay are you sure no you you would think because they all have they have custom hats which takes like we said, what they said, two days. It was two days before the draft, right? Yeah. When Eddie got hurt. It takes more than two days to make a custom hat, guys.

Well, first of all, in this economy, it's taking at least eight to 12 weeks to get those fucking hats made and shipped from. Do you think they got like an embroidery machine on site? Do you think the elite performance ice sneers making their own hats maybe i don't know i i hated all of it and i said i said i say team names terrible mighty ducks idiot yeah but yeah yeah so so so alex alex says we're the mighty ducks and she presents her hat which is the the it's the green it's green and it's got like a version it's like a version of the old word mark on it slightly different but they're the team mighty ducks and everybody looks at them like you fucking idiots you don't get it you know you don't get it what i wish if i was a writer for this show, what I would have done is have all those stupid team names that, like, have an animal that stands for that.

Right? Like, we are the bears because we dominate. We are the cheetahs because we're agile. You got to keep up the alliteration, though, I feel. You know, like, dominate would be like Dalmatians. Cheetahs because we're agile. You got to queue up the alliteration though, I feel. Dominate would be like Dalmatians. I don't know other than duck. The dingoes. The dingoes.

My baby. And then focus could be the flamingos. Perseverance, the panthers. Hustle, the hippopotamuses. I was going to say hyena. You already got dingo hyena's too close well and they got what i wouldn't do alliteration though endurance what about e what do you got for e elephant there you go okay accountability anteater i was gonna say aardvark intention Anteater. I was going to say aardvark. Intention? What's an animal that starts with an I?

Crap. Man. Really hit a roadblock here with this game. Stumble into the finish on this one. This is just like me sneezing on air. This is what happens when we do zero prep for any of these episodes. Okay, we got an Impala. That would be good.

Oh, an Iguana. We should have known Iguana. Or an Ibex. I'm going with Ibex. Ibex is fucking tight. Okay. And then what's another fancy word that starts with D so we can use ducks? Determined?

Determination? Team Determination? There you go. There we go. Team Determination. The ducks. Yeah. There's domination and determination. We just made this a million times better, Disney. There you go. There we go. Team determination. The ducks. Yeah. There's domination and determination. We just,

we just made this a million times better. Disney go fuck yourself. This was our new, this that's our new catchphrase. Go fuck yourselves. Disney. Well, it probably should be our catchphrase.

This scene made me so goddamn mad, especially, especially AF when you compare it to the state, the states in last season fucking shit like the Maroon Marauders and the fucking Supernovas. I forget all the fucking sick-ass names they had, man. Yeah, I know. And team accountability, un-fucking-believable. It's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life. You should be ashamed of yourself, Chuck.

Yeah, and so anyways, after the terrible team naming scene then we get the divorce they fought yes evan we get the divorce evan tells sophie to keep the pizza necklace because that pizza will always be their common denominator Brandon it's not even I got nothing it's not even worth commenting on it's that bad and that's it the episode ends in like a trip a fall and a limp

yep we whimper out it's fucking ridiculous mighty ducks purists and truthers out there wait until episode seven that's true yeah episode yeah episode seven is spirit of the ducks part two so hopefully so just wait until then because the recap really imagine imagine heath we get to episode seven right yeah you get all the way through episode seven and there's not a single old duck that shows up what if it or if it's just one

it's gonna be it's gonna be i i would imagine it's gonna be just one it's gonna be just keenan that's my guess i have i have zero zero inside information zero tips or anything that's just my guess that'll be the final the final death blow to this i honestly though i honestly would not be shocked if there's not a single other than fulton and portman at the very beginning if there's not a single other ducks cameo i wouldn I wouldn't be shocked. I'd be disappointed, but I wouldn't be shocked. You know, fool me once, Heath. Shame on me. Fool me twice. thanks for listening everyone please remember to follow and like us on Instagram at TheCakeEatersPod,

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