The Cake Eaters - 50. Game Changers S2:E5 Icing on the Cake

Episode Date: January 31, 2023

Heath & Brandon continue their breakdown of Season 2 Game Changers! On today's episode, they are talking through Episode 5 Icing on the Cake. They discuss never bringing this podcast up in real life, Brandon's idea for a 30-minute supercut of this entire season, capitalism, never remembering names, Hot Girl Walks, supporting your local post office, and then we look forward to what the second half of this season may hold. Follow us at www.thecakeaterspod.com and on Twitter (@thecakeeaters) and Instagram (@thecakeeaterspod) Email us at [e-mail]

Remember, it's not worth winning if you can't win! Welcome back everybody to the Cake Eaters Podcast, episode 5, Icing on the Cake, Game Changers season 2. Heath, I know we haven't been super fans of the show. I think we could call it, to take a phrase from Nick here, between me, you, and Game Changers, it's the opposite of a love triangle yeah i agree brandon and i would have to say that this episode was the icing on the cake of my hatred for having to watch this weekly but with that being said i will i will say i'm gonna be nicer i did like i i do like the the name of this episode yeah absolutely and i love you know it's a we got a birthday party and they're playing hockey he's icing it's a great it's a great it's great fun listen it works on so many levels and i especially love nick's cake that his mom sent i do lightning mcqueen yeah i do have an issue with

this shipping method because there's no way that frosting is going to stay that rock solid like shipping like they would need some form of temperature control oh i get i guarantee you they shipped it with dry like in dry ice or whatever whatever you would have i just didn't see it i'm just i'm just saying yeah i'm sure they i trust them i trust nick's moms if there's anybody on this goddamn show that i trust it's nick's moms oh that's that's fine but anyway like I was saying, Brandon, I am going to be nicer this episode after we saw Heel Turn Heath the last few. And the reason that is, is because as the listeners know, I am a Savannah Ghost Pirates number one fan. I am a ghosty.

Do you have a priority number or like a season ticket number? Are you number one? That'd be tight if tight if you know no i'm not even close to number one then they had sold out some cheaper sections by the time i decided to say because i i have like my i have season tickets to the broncos that like my grandpa has had since the 1960s like he got it like day one right when they started i love that and our priority number is like six thousand something nice no our our priority number is very low but i do love our seats we're kind of we're in the uh ghost pirates attack zone where they attack twice and we're we're up a little bit higher and in like a little bit into the corner kind of closer to the club seats and so you get a nice aerial view of the foyes you know you're not missing anything.

Now, granted, you're not as close to see some of those sick ass shots, but, you know, that's neither here nor there. Because I was sitting next to one of Kelly's friends, boyfriends, and he was telling me, he was like, hey, have you seen this Game Changers show? Does he know you do the podcast? No, no. I didn't even want to get into it if I'm being completely honest. I never bring this podcast up to people. Listen, I don't want to get into it, and I don't want people to go listen and judge me. When we first started it, I would bring it up, but it got too many questions and too many weird looks, so I stopped bringing it up.

Yeah, it's a really weird niche thing and people think that you're fucking insane for doing it but hey people spend three hours on sundays in a lot weirder ways so go fuck off and you know fuck off haters too it's getting but anyways he said heath have you seen this show game changers and in my brain i was screaming laughing of like oh yeah oh i have and i hate it and he was like it's not that bad and i was like oh boy okay now color me intrigued so i just shut up and asked him probing questions right i was like okay so you like it and he's like oh yeah it's great little bit of hockey TV for the boys. And I was like, oh, okay.

So you don't really like pay attention to it or watch it. He's like, oh, no, like I loosely pay attention while I'm doing other things. But comparatively to some of the other kids shows I've had to watch, it's not bad. So once again, you know, we are not the target demographic. No. We just have to see this as the Disney Plus label on it means it's going to be prepackaged corporate garbage. It's like Tommy Boy when he was doing the sales pitch and he's talking about taking a dump in a box. That's kind of what you get when you see the Disney Plus label. Yeah.

Not to rag on Disney Plus too hard. Guaranteed. Guaranteed. get when you see the disney plus label yeah you know not to but it's got a great on disney plus too hard guaranteed guaranteed it's uh we we did the free uh kelly got two months free on apple tv and tommy boy is on there so we're gonna do a little rewatch on that bad boy and of course ted lasso i don't know if you if you've ever. It's great. Season two gets a little heavy. Yeah. Well, people – A little too real. People either love or hate Ted Lasso.

And a lot of the times what I see from the people that hate it is they say, this is not funny. And to that I reply because it's not a comedy show. It's a – It's a dramedy. Yeah. It's not a comedy show. It's a dramedy. Yeah, it's not a comedy. It's not supposed to be – it's not like Friends or Seinfeld or The Office where you're supposed to be laughing the entire time. It's a drama – It's like the first season of Scrubs.

Yeah, it's a drama show that they sprinkle a few laughs into. Yeah. Yeah. And I also feel like – A lot. Yeah, it's – and I also feel like I – sometimes I relate to Ted Lasso because like people just like hate his kindness and sometimes I feel like people hate him. Because he's a Kansas boy. So yeah, you and Ted Lasso are very similar. Yeah.

Unfortunately, same issues upstairs too. So that's either here nor there. Anyway, Brandon, should we dig into this episode? Yeah. So see, that's either here nor there anyway but it's a good dig into this episode yes let's see that's a good parallel just like people are misunderstanding ted lasso and realize not realizing that they're not the target demographic that's exactly what we're doing uh here and we're going to continue to do it for at least well actually we're halfway through he's thank god it can uh cannot come soon enough it's it's also you know what else it is brandon and sorry we'll get into the episode after this but one final thought of why we have just been spitting venom towards this show is

we just finished what is the most delicious feast of mighty ducks movies going from from d2 to this was a was a culture shock that's a real kick in the testes is all i'm just gonna just come out and say and you know that's a little stomachache watching this episode like getting halfway through this i feel like i've i've pinpointed why i i don't like this why this has been so terrible for me to get through, I should say, is because it's so – there are glimpses every once in a while of how good it could be. Like you have like – Haven't seen Marnie this whole episode. Yeah, but you have characters like Nick is – outside of this episode. They do Nick Dirty in this episode.

Yeah, we'll talk about that. But usually Nick is written very well. Gertie I thought is a great character. I love Gertie. Loved Gertie. There's glimpses of how good this could be and then – but like 80% of it is just terrible. Yeah. Like 80% of it is just terrible. It's like the – I just don't understand how you could write a really good 15% and then the 85% is garbage. Like what – are we half-assing it?

What are we doing here? How are you – how do you have this good of glimpses like with all of the terribleness? I just don't – I don't get the disconnect there. It doesn't make any sense to me. It feels like they half-assed it which they 100 did yeah i mean full full disrespect full disrespect to the writers you half-ass this yeah yeah that's why we cut it down to 30 minutes episodes too that's the other thing this this show this season doesn't need to be 10 episodes long this this whole thing could have been a 30 minute short and it would have been perfectly fine you don't need 10 30 minute episodes it's way too

fucking long it's it's they gotta make a show brandon you can't get mad at the number of episodes they already cut it to 30 minutes from an hour they gotta get 10 pumped out. Do you think – Put actual plot into these episodes. Put actual plot into the episodes. You could cut out – I seriously – I would love – I might actually do that as a pet project. I might make a 30-minute – you know how like Topher Grace did his Star Wars cut? I'm going to come in. I'm going to cut this whole season down to 30 minutes and it's going to be amazing. Okay.

I can't wait. Wait. Hold on. season down to 30 minutes and it's going to be amazing okay i can't wait wait hold on i actually last conspiracy theory thought because they lost bombay do you think that they just like like they're they had to scrap so much that they really did just kind of push this out and like throw some shit together really quick and oh absolutely because because bomb bomb bay not coming back was real late in the process it was like right before production started right or like maybe a couple months before so i guarantee i guarantee you

they had to rewrite the whole thing and it shows yeah but you know here we are brandon let's dig into this delightful delightful um but again again they didn't they didn't again they didn't have to you know they could have just they could have just waited they could have just not done a season two for a little while like you don't have to that's my problem with capitalism you don't have to do everything immediately, okay? We don't need the stock to continuously go up. It's not feasible, Heath, okay? You don't need to continually – like just – okay. I'm over it. I'm over it.

Thanks, Brandon. Now let's dig in. Let's end the podcast there. I'm over it. I'm done. I'm done. Oh my god. Listen.

Sorry. I'm going to apologize on behalf of Brandon for the listeners. He's just – I am – if if in my defense i'm battling a sickness right now if you can't tell by my voice battling a sickness and this this show is down with the sickness i got it every everybody got it uh but so i'm just you know we're not in the right headspace for this for this garbage i'm in a great headspace i can't wait to just trigger you this whole episode but i am going to try and move us along when you go on

your angry what do we we're 15 minutes in and we've already gone on an anti-capitalism rant so yeah this is good this is turning out great guys actually you know you know who we sound like in this episode do you remember that episode those episodes that episode of south park when stan like everything sounds like shit and everything looks like shit and so like really popular cool music that's that's cool with everyone it just sounds like people farting the whole time do you remember that oh no i don't i don't i i don't remember that episode now and stands it's like everything just turned to shit and it's like it's becoming you've become an adult everything does turn to shit um so i think i've just finally hit that moment at you know 36 years young that i just everything is shit now yeah all right so anyways here we go day one of the mighty ducks at summer camp under banner. Day one under the new banner.

Yes, everybody's broken into teams. I love how everybody already has team colored gear. We're already segmenting up everybody. Yeah, I love it. Evan and his team already have very elaborate handshakes. And the Ducks are jealous. No, that was the yellow team. I forget who the yellow team was, but that was them doing the handshake. Oh, well, whatever. team i forget who the other team was but um that was them doing the handshake oh well whatever still the ducks are already feeling like they don't have their shit together which they don't

um you know the while we're still on the team the team gear aspect coop was rocking a fucking sick ass polo we got to get one of those polos yeah you see his polo too yeah i love a good polo you know me um and then uh i love this coach cole is trying to alienate evan from the ducks and he hears the ducks hey evan come sit by us and he says hey evan team meeting come lunch over with dominate um and no no days off yep zero no no lunch is off why would you there's hockey to be played brandon there's not school to be worried about that's for damn sure what was the unfortunately for what was the line he had in like episode two or maybe it was episode one where he goes um summer hockey is the best kind of hockey because there's no school to get in the way

or something like that yeah that's in his first speech. I love it. But unfortunately for Evan, he doesn't even realize that he misses out on a delicious yogurt cup from Nick, which he's not going to give it to Evan now because it would be even more awkward than Coach Cole pulling him away. So what do we do, Brandon? We get Sophie saying, let's meet our new ducks. Finally. Finally. Finally. I don't.

So, again, this speaks to the half-assed writing. Why are we just now getting introduced to Gertie and H.A. Even like, you know. Halfway through the show, we haven't been able to build a relationship with them yet. A line here or there in the first five first four episodes would have been nice you know yeah it's the same thing it's the same thing as last season where the fucking check kids come in halfway through like what like what plan this ahead drop them in at the beginning they don't have to be a focal point but you could like like they did with aj we know we have a full grasp

on aj's personality we should have already gotten that with Gertie and Fries, which I – Yeah. Gertie could have had uncomfortable – I hate Fries. I hate Fries as well. I hate that nickname because nobody – that would never happen. As an adult, you would never nickname one of your kids Fries. You know what you would do if you truly hated him as much as he thinks they hate him?

You would just – you would ignore him. You wouldn't give him a fucking nickname. Yeah. He would just be called his name. Yeah. And that's it. That whole story of why he's named Fries drove me fucking crazy. It's just – it's the most unrealistic nonsense i've ever heard

in my life and going back to what i said where like there's glimpses of good stuff followed by just the worst thing ever to go from fries which was the worst thing i've ever heard to gertie which was somewhat good i enjoyed gertie i thought that was a good backstory kind of thing like how who how is that the same writing team that came up with both of those? It makes no fucking sense. Do better. You know what I did like though is Maya was like, hey, you scared boy. Why do you suck?

At least they know they suck. But he just says – Well, Gertie doesn't suck. Gertie, you know. One-on-one, she's pretty good. I love – so I love when she ends a story and she tells you that's the whole story. That's all of it. I'm done.

I'm done talking now. And – but, you know, Fry's doesn't have the biceps that only god could carve um i mean aj and aj's biceps weren't they were pretty run-of-the-mill if you asked me and then i like how kuba's not like he was a fucking he hasn't even mentioned you it's like well why would you talk about your little brother? I'm the main core. He's the main course and I'm the side dish. That's how I got my name fries.

And I love how Gertie's like, Oh, I noticed the beautiful brother. Everybody. I mean, his biceps aren't a lot to write home about, but he's a, he's a fairly good looking kid,

you know? Yeah. Fries little brother. Just see. And and it's it's all a bit overacted you know but that's all yeah i mean that's that's just yeah that's a disney show you gotta it's all about overacting yeah and then uh but i do like gertie from moose lake alaska best you best and only youth hockey player there um rarely plays with other kids, which means she has some weaknesses. Oh, I love this too, where she asked her dad to take the boat

to go borrow the camcorder and put her on VHS tape. And then took the plane into the post office and that's how she's here. And that all is really great stuff. I have to watch, uh, the, like making Alaska home shows all the time with my parents when

I go back and like, they really do, you know, like a lot of Alaska properties have little airplane strips so that you can get to and from places, which is wonderfully fascinating. Not, not the life I'd want to lead, but it's for some. Yeah. I wouldn't want to do it long-term. Maybe like a summer or a winter, whatever would be more feasible. Probably a summer. But definitely wouldn't want to do it long-term.

I mean, Gertie's been doing it for, what, 14, 13 years now? Yeah, exactly. I mean, even just watching that show long term was a little this must be like a fucking um they don't really touch on that again they should again like the whole personality and character development is just it's it's it's not good um because this this isertie's first – this would have been fantastic for the first episode or the second episode when you introduce Gertie from Moose Lake, Alaska. And this is the first time she's ever seen a city. Like that would have been cool to see. It would have been hilarious watching her react to all of the things that LA has to offer. How did she get from the airport?

Like her landing down at the airport would have been amazing to see like come on guys at lax you know uh but again we don't we don't get any of that because why why would we um because it's a kid's show brandon and they put no thought or effort into it because they're like listen we sure as shit won't have two, you know, 30-some-year-old dudes breaking this down frame by frame. That was in their thought process. Well, they underestimated us. Well, regardless of that, after we get Gertie, we get Rebel Jace.

They're not even trying to make Jace likable. What are we supposed to talk about? Our hopes and dreams and become new besties? Nah And then he walks away He's just a real fucking downer Just a real sad boy You'd be a real sad sack of bones If you glitched your shot too, Brandon

With a dad like that You wouldn't even get him, Brandon You wouldn't even understand where he's coming from, Brandon Gosh that's true i'm i'm too mentally tough to get the yips i wouldn't it would never happen to me yeah right brandon you're not a has been you're a never was you're welcome for that deep listeners um okay so nick gets his we go to nick getting his third package in a week and it's beautiful he opens it up and balloons come flying out of it um and catch his line that he says right there he says i i knew that helium tank would come in handy. Yeah.

It's everything that you need for a birthday. Oh, and he says, well, my moms have a lot of time. There's no one there to do bedtime with. He's like, well, we don't do bedtime. I was like, oh. I bet their bedtime routine is a thing of wonders, Brandon. Like, I bet it's just. Could you imagine their house in the holidays i bet it's like my parents house at christmas where it just looks like santa's workshop just

barfed everywhere that's they literally have a tree in every room like including every bathroom which is color coordinated with the back bathroom decor so it's christmas is a big deal um back in wayne america brandon my parents house so there you go but anyways um so what we get oh wait did you see too that his mom's bought uh birthday cards for all of his friends to sign up for all of them yeah amazing oh amazing oh my god i I mean, they left no stone unturned. Talk about his mom's moms of the fucking century. Like, are you kidding me?

Like, yes. Now granted, he may not fully be set up for success in the real world, but maybe because he's, he gets kind of picked on a lot, but my God, he is just,

he is having the most magical childhood you could have ever i i think he's fairly well set up you don't think he'll be too soft for the real world and they'll chew him up and spit him out a little bit no because you know who's too soft is fucking evan evan's way too soft nick nick nick is Well, that's because Evan has his mom fight all of his battles for him. Exactly. From what I can tell from Nick's moms, they're not fighting his battles or anything for him. Like they're not calling into the camp and fucking yelling at Coach Cole or anything. Yeah.

Well, either way – I think I said – it was either last episode or maybe the episode before. Nick's moms are not going to have any screen time in this season, but they're going to win parent of the season. 100%. And Coach Cole is going to be a close second. Better than Alex. Way better than Alex. But still has some feedback.

Yeah. but still has some feedback so anyways um speaking of coach cole next we cut to his team and they're doing some workout stuff and evan and aj i actually forgot aj's name when i started taking notes and i just started writing it as troy thinking it was i could have sworn it was troy i actually started oh kelly was making fun of me i'm like starting to become my dad a little bit where he is also not really good with names my mom used to say all the time as kids right they're terrible with names you never remember names and i've started doing the same fucking thing brandon like i just ballpark names out there and they're not even fucking close sometimes and i this one but anyways i'm not troy aj i'm not terrible with names uh my my dad is the worst at names though so i dated So I dated a girl named Morgan for eight years, right?

From like junior year of high school and then for eight years, whatever that math is. For the first six of those years, my dad called her Megan. Nice. Thanks, Dad. Unbelievable. nice thanks dad unbelievable that's like i i had been calling vanessa hudgens vanessa hudgenson my whole life thinking that was her name and i just i had no idea kelly's like you know it's hudgens right i was like wait wait what the high school musical girl is not hudgenson hudgenson that's like a mouth sounds good no that's it's that's a mouthful to say let's

yeah i think she would have hollywood would have cut that off anyways like she would never even if that was her name she would have never made it to hollywood with that long of a, you need a better, you need a better stage name. That's too many syllables. Vanessa Hutchinson sound. I love it. Maybe I'll just keep calling her that. Pretend like I didn't get corrected. Anyways.

Okay. Where were we at? All right. So coach Cole's team is training with, then we cut and cut to Alex, and she's doing all the Alex shit, and she's like, I don't plan to work the team so hard they throw up. So I don't – yeah. Once again, we don't even need to get into this, Brandon. One thing I don't understand, though, with her is –

so I completely understand because she essentially says, I'm not going to work them to death. And then she walks up to them and she goes, hey, throw away your schedule. Keep the schedule. It's 82 degrees outside. Let's just go outside. So my thought is if you don't want to work them to death, that's fine. During your weight room time or whatever Or during your focus time Take them outside

Why would you skip ice time though You're playing hockey Go on the ice Okay Thank you Number one You don't need to throw out the fucking schedule In order to make them chill

Just don't work them to death. And like you said, Koob just learned how to goaltend. Like, he just learned how to skate and somewhat goaltend. I would argue he's still learning.

I mean, we see in full force that that dude has still got no movement in that fucking goal. And he just learned how to skate for the love of God. Go on the ice. Go have them skate, please. Just a little bit. At that point, it's not hard work for them.

It's easy, quick fun. And you know where we are stupid ass bombay games you know stupid fucking bombay games the whole time bounce a beach ball get a lasso for fuck's sake yeah you go on the ice you went to a master class of how to have fun on the ice from the minnesota fucking miracle man himself and you you just, I see that part drove me crazy. Cause you, you know where we are Heath, right? We're at a hockey camp, a hockey Institute. We definitely shouldn't put them on the fucking ice.

I just, I can't with coach Alex this season. It makes no, it makes no sense. It makes no fucking sense. And the whole writing 82 on the thing. I just just i don't know what that was supposed to be um and then when you look at the training when they were doing some like side shuffles see ike's form was trash oh every everybody's form was trash i didn't hate that though i thought like you're going outside we're doing some sort of physical activity that's good that was fine but like you need to coach them so like hey guys we're getting sloppy we got loose form we got to keep it tight or we're gonna get our shit rocked on the ice uh unbelievable but you know what it's fine

everyone can just be terrible and then they think that they can share their fucking feelings and then be good again not not it's all right i was gonna be nice brandon you're getting me riled up god damn it brandon all right um here i have troy in my notes again so then we so we cut to troy then we get troy and evan they're training so the what what really threw me off is aj turns to evan when they're in the weight room and he goes watch this and he drops the weight the the uh barbells right barbell dumbbells dumbbells dumbbells i don't know i don't you know i don't exercise i go for walks i mean well i i love the this i mean i get that they're kids and everything but this the workout scene they're showing they're all holding like five pound ten pound weights and

just go it's like okay guys this what are we doing jazzercise here um brandon low weight helps you tone with lots of reps low weight lots of reps let's get ripped um i i only bulk i'm in bulking mode they need endurance brandon come on all all the time when's the last time you've been in a gym pretty recently i started going again regularly oh really i just go for walks i the walk. I do the hot girl walks. I'm all about those. Oh, dude. I love a good hot girl walk. It's my absolute. It's why I can't wait to get back into some hiking ranges.

But all right. So AJ goes, look at this. Drops the weights to the ground and then starts doing push-ups on top of them. Isn't that just like doing a normal push-up? That's not adding any resistance is it if anything it's making if anything it's making it easier because then you're farther off the ground well holding yourself onto those weights is different you're using different muscles to to push up is that more is that more impressive than an actual than like a normal push-up though it doesn't strike me as more impressive maybe as

impressive but not more impressive brandon i think it didn't shock this it didn't all the lifter bros are about to tear you apart on tic tac please please correct me please correct me if i'm wrong i meant to i meant to google it before um see, like, does that actually make it harder? But I never got around to it. So if it does, then please correct me. Lifter bros, come at him. To me, it didn't warrant, hey, look at this. You know?

Like, you're just doing a push-up. Kids, have you ever, like, it's like a kid going and being like, hey, look at this. And they do like a quick little jump spin. You're like, cool. That's like a good fucking jump spin. It's like a five-year-old. These kids are like 14. 14-year-olds are stupid, too. There's just a different level of stupid.

And they still do the same stuff. That's like, oh, hey, check this out. And they go and try and touch the rim. And they're like still two inches away from it. Oh, cool. Cool net swish. But see, that would be – that I would understand because it's something – It's the same thing.

I just don't get the, hey, look at me, and then you go and do one pushup. He was – they were doing a pushup contest, Brandon. Did you not see that? That started after he said, hey, watch this. Listen, agree to disagree, Brandon. That is some slick-looking workout stuff. I can tell you this. I'm going to be using my little dumbbell or weight things

and doing push-ups off of them from here on out. Let me know if it's harder. Will do. If anything, you're going to do it and you're going to be like, oh, this made it 15 times easier to do a push-up. Probably 30 times harder. I'm probably going to get some forearm workouts that I could have never even dreamed about.

A quick message from our friends at Broken Forest Collective. Built on a passion for small batch and handcrafted products, Broken Forest provides high quality casual wear and lifestyle goods that are American made and built to outlast the fast fashion trends. They also plant a tree in Boulder, Colorado for every product sold. All right. Can we move on, Brandon? Are you done? God, you being grumpy really drags this shit out. So after that, they're all on the bikes, right?

They're fucking chugging away on the bike. And Coach Cole is screaming at them. And he tells them – he tells all of these kids who, mind you, are at a fucking $20,000 summer hockey institute that they should ride the bike like they stole it. Ride it like you stole it. As if any of these kids have ever had to steal anything in their entire life. I mean, that's a

common phrase. I mean, sure. Yeah, I mean, it's common enough that they would know it, but, you know, I just don't think I would – these are all like fucking trust fund millionaire kids. None of these kids are –

That's why it's funny. It's getting them out of their element. His delivery left a lot to be desired if they were going for fun. It's imaginative. They're supposed to be using their imaginations like they just stole their neighbor's $10,000 Schwinn. This is a hockey institute. There's no room for imagination here, Heath. Well,

either way, we get back and forth between the Ducks and the Dominators that are You get a real a real yin and yang. Work hard versus Lucy Goosey. Real yin and yang we got going on here. Yeah.

What method's better? Who's to say? What did you think about the worst accidental bump that I've ever seen in television history between Sophie and Evan? I wrote that down too. I was like, what? That might be the worst accidental running into I've ever seen. Yeah. Followed by hyperbole owl, like not followed by the worst conversation ever.

How's it going? Lighting up the hockey world. Evan. It's a spot on Sophie. Spot on how's sophie 2.0 summer a chill that's like evan oh dude this is i do like how evan called her out he's like hey not buying it this this you know, loose rebel Sophie, it just, you know, it's a fish out of water. That's what it feels like, you know. It's just, that's a good lesson for you kiddos out there, you know.

Just stick to your guns. Be you. And even if that you is a big fucking dork that likes to read ACT prep books in middle school. Or what was it ap chemistry well this this episode they talk about ap bio is an ap bio that's what it was ap bio but in like episode episode two or three whenever they get sent their first like pack of the candy episode whatever that one oh that's right she gets sent an act prep book i believe so just doing a little math for fun that's that's what you get and then we get

a little those numbers he's did you notice um when we cut to the nick and evan bedroom talk did it look like their dorm changed into a two-person dorm from the three-person dorm where it was those two and sam or no reading you know because i'm just looking too much into that nick's No, because Nick's on the bottom of a bunk bed. But he said he moved the poster over. Oh, so you think maybe Sam's on top? Yeah, because if I remember correctly from episode one is when they do the rooms. Evan goes to the one bed on the left side. And then on the right side is the bunk bed and

nicks up nicks up top with pucky and then sam oh that's right and then yeah and then because because evan then he moved not a duck anymore yeah um and this is where we get the greeting talk about a fucking talk about a fucking like i i get i get where nick's coming from but that's a real i mean again this is just a summer camp you guys are gonna go back home and be on the fucking ducks again it's just like he's just like you leave us for us in the middle in a summer camp then fuck fuck where where it's supposed to be individual and evan's mom who if she would have drafted the way she was supposed to draft, would have given each of them the opportunity to interact with other kids.

And then it wouldn't feel like Evan abandoned them, you know? But anyways, after Nick moves the banner to his side, we get the birthday party invite evan you gotta come to my party the dress code is casual chic but he trusts seven and so we know right away evan is missing the shit out of that yeah plus i've i've yet to see anything through two through a season and a half that would say like hey evan's got style there's been zero of that yeah yeah so you know he's just wearing camp gear but um then we get so so yeah he's her dorm i think he has just been wearing camp gear. Yeah. It's only wearing his elite shit. And then. Come on.

Come on. Heath. Come on. Is it epic? Yeah. The elite performance ice center. Are you, are you even watching the show? How many times do I have to tell you begrudgingly?

Yes. I am watching this show. Am I taking loose notes? Yes. Do I watch it a second time and do other things at the same time because it just hurts to have to watch it twice yes so like this is all very loose but anyways yeah what is it epic is the that's a epic elite sports institute of summer it doesn't it's all this fucking thing that's the name stuff all over again brandon don't

talk to me like this god right you're down that's what my mom would say okay so then we got uh so yeah they're they're having a little talk evan is like i can't believe i'm across the hall from my ex-girlfriend and my mom and And that's when Nick drops the line. Yeah, it's whatever the opposite of a love triangle would be. Yep, exactly. And so, you know, Sophie is trying to figure out her rebel side. That would be such a fucking awkward summer camp. I would – I definitely would have – I would have done the same thing he did where I would

have been like please for the love of god let me go to another team yeah agree one million percent um but then after that little back oh and that's when we get the debut of Nick's lightning McQueen cake which is it really is a really nice cake but um i would have liked glow sticks too yep the glow sticks were great i mean the party supplies that nick's mom sent were just off the charts good you know that little life had to have been fucking huge though yeah you know that's the the the amount that they are spending on shipping costs this summer i would be a little alarmed if i were them but that's fine they must have hopefully they have correctly budgeted um let's say they're they're saving a lot and all that stuff they're saving a lot on uh on food you know they're not having to feed him

oh so they're they're just putting that food but oh technically is it because of the amount of stuff that they're buying and shipping to him it's almost like it's that food costs and maybe have gone have gone up or stayed the same i don't know i'd have to i'd have to take a look at their finances to get a real solid picture of this i would love to take a quick look at nick's mom's you know summer summer camp shipping budget like i need to fucking see this shit as a former warehouse manager brandon i know that this is not cheap for them maybe what do we know what they do for a living i don't think that's ever discussed maybe one of them is like a warehouse manager so they've got like a discount yeah ups discount okay that makes sense you know

yeah well ups has really um you know been spotty lately, but FedEx has had their shit together from my personal experience. At least here on the island. UPS and FedEx are both garbage. Please, if you take nothing away from this episode, take away this. Support the post office. For the love of God, support the post office for the love of god support the post office i i can't get behind that the post office here on wilmington do you understand is absolute absolute just it's do you i don't think i don't think you understand the ramifications if the post

office goes away heath you would, ever get post to an island. You would never, if you live in an island or a small town and the post office goes away, you're never getting any mail. Because you know who handles those routes? Amazon, FedEx, UPS, they're not delivering to your island, Heath. They drop it off at a fucking post office and then the mailman does it. I know.

I know, Brandon. And let me tell you, that postman is about 50-50 whether he's going to fucking get it to you or not. Well, 50-50 is better than nothing, Keith. Sometimes they come out if they have rats out here. I'm just saying, Brandon, listen. I guarantee you my experience with the Wilmington Island post office has been shoddy at best. I guarantee you if that post office went away, the UPS and the FedEx would never have a route to your island. It's not cost effective to deliver to small towns or to islands

or to any of that shit. So if they lose the post office, you're not getting any mail ever. Well, we barely get it anyways. We have to go fucking pick it up. Which is better than nothing is what I'm telling you. Which is what you would have to do anyways. No, you wouldn't have to go pick it up, Heath. You would never get it because it would be in fucking Atlanta.

You would have to drive to Atlanta to go get it. Brandon, I'm not arguing that the post office is a good thing. I'm just saying that the one that I have had to deal with for the past two years is not well run. I hope they're listening to this and they never deliver anything to you ever again. Well, I only got two months left, so they can eat it. And I'm pretty sure that I delivered that feedback when I went there three fucking times for the same package. And they told me twice they didn't have it until I got the note saying, hey, we're going to ship this back. And we go there for the third time. They're like, oh, geez, it took you a long time to come pick it up.

I was like, oh, you mean the two other fucking times I came to pick up this package? Are you sure? Before? Are you sure you told them the right name, Heath? Because we know you're terrible with names brandon don't did you get me did you ask 416 you say 416 did you did you ask for did you ask for troy hudgenson's mail is that what you did it's like it's like if uh troy and vanessa had a kid from right isn't that what's his face's character name

on high school musical troy bolton zach efron yeah yeah anyway all right poor poor wilmington island post office really took a beating in that last segment we can cut that if you need to i feel kind of bad it's not their fault that they're terrible yeah i i'm they have terrible funding if they had better funding they would be better yes and i'm not i'm not saying the post if they had a better wage you would get better employees so i agree i would love the post office if they didn't suck i i'm not again i'm not saying that the post office is doing top-notch work. I'm saying if they weren't there to do at least some of that work, none of that work would ever get done. Brandon, we are – we're going too long.

So I'm going to start – We're about done, right? No. We got practice and then we got birthday. That's about it. I still got about two pages we got birthday. You know? That's about it. I still got about two pages of notes here. Two and a half.

Two and a half. I got like five bullet points. Well, I told you I was going to try and be nice and break this down in a nicer way. But then you just triggered me. And then you started talking about the post office. And Wilmington Island Post Office has been on my shit list for about a year and a half i do apologize to the to the listeners because not only have have i gone on a anti-capitalism rant but then i went on a pro post office rant so what's wrong with you god i told you we shouldn't have recorded today but you've not feeling well it's you know it's sad this is this is this is the true brandon coming out this is the the

real brandon now everyone knows how much you suck oh hey wait hold on actually this is validates me the whole time calling you a hater just coming out in full force brandon you're the one hating on the post office i was pro post office listen I am hating on my local post office that has been pissing me off for over a year. And it's well justified. I, everyone that I talked to in this apartment complex hates. It's like,

well known the Wilmington Island post office, two thumbs. Maybe you just have a shitty apartment complex. Well, don't even get me started on the mail situation on this apartment complex. See, that's probably your issue. It's a combination of both. It's both of the worst. It's the only negative about this apartment complex, if I'm being honest, is the mail situation.

Let's get back to the other stuff here, though. Only negative about this apartment complex, if I'm being honest, is the mail situation. Yeah. Let's get back to the other stuff here, though. That's why when I order things, I hope that they ship FedEx because then it comes right to my door. Actually, but you know what they do? They leave the fucking package under the stairs where anyone could just walk by and grab the package. Classic FedEx. Everyone needs to do better. Anyways, okay.

So we've got the Domin on the we we're probably gonna have to cut that out but um it's just insane rambling so we got the dominate on the ice and they're gearing up for gameplay and you know coach cole is like i'm not seeing the confidence we need to see um and then so get off the ice and then franklin's like geez i hope it's not me i crumble under pressure coach cole says franklin get your ass out here we need you to go three for three and coach cole knows what he's doing right master manipulator um so even even if even if so spoiler alert franklin it's franklin needs to go three for three uh if he doesn't we got saturday night practice my guess

in spoiler he misses the last one but my guess is even if he made all three we're still doing practice on saturday night right he's coach cole is gonna he's gonna call some bullshit and be like oh you stepped over the line did you see his shot glitch though on that third one looked mighty familiar oh yeah i mean you can't of course they're gonna reuse the shot glitch you think they got enough money for two shot glitches? Shit's expensive. So we land on what we always knew, that Evan was not going to make it to Nick's birthday party. And then we move to Sophie, who looks like she is not feeling well or something because she's just walking around.

She has water in her ear and she's just walking around like she has water in her ear and she's like walking around moving her head to side to side flipping her hair because i didn't see it but she put a blue streak in her hair which somehow there must be a cvs across the way or maybe they i have that in my notes where did she get the blue dye from unless did you think they have uber eats and they just got a uber eats from cvs that's the thing maybe because they're not allowed to go off campus that was the only thing i could think of is like you got it but like that you think they wouldn't just let a delivery dude come up to the the institute you know yeah maybe she talked alex into taking it taking her out you know well that's not surprising right and it's alex alex like bombay and d2 runs a very loose

ship here so yeah that's anyways but yeah i didn't i didn't notice it in her hair until she sat down and like pulled it out and was like hey it's blue i did i did put in in my notes that when did she even have time to go get dye supplies uh i'm i'm just too grumpy to watch this show oh wait we we so we skipped past one thing that i want to touch on we skipped past the ap by when when they're talking about the ap bio book and maya oh maya brings up the fact that you're not a true rebel until you go get matching piercings in canada which fine sure i mean what 12 year old hasn't done that but the part that really you know shocked me was then she talks about how her was it a belly button piercing? Yeah. Her belly button gets reinfected every three weeks. Yeah.

For anybody that's not familiar with belly button or piercings in general, that shouldn't be happening. Okay? Right. There's – I completely understand, especially in the belly button. I completely understand it getting infected right when you get it because, A, the belly is full of bacteria it's known to happen it's very common but for it to be a recurring issue is the problem you need you need to go to a doctor yeah it's well it shows a really like to me if it's getting infected are we just like showering once a week and so we are not cleaning

the bacteria correct i just i don't know that's another another point even if you don't have a belly button piercing guys clean your belly buttons for the love of god i for the love of god i tried to just skip over that whole scene because like when she started talking about you know that's yeah running away to canada i was like ah gee i'm just it's that it's it's the it's terrible writing it's it's they're going for a joke that completely misses the mark and doesn't land and is also very alarming yeah that's that's that's that's a line that's a writer who a doesn't know how children work how children think or talk or work and then they also don't know how belly buttons work or piercings or doctors or infections they don't know anything i just i'm trying to do yeah

because then i tried to do math of like okay okay, how old are these kids? Someone had to be old enough to drive to take them over there. Well, the way she was talking about it, it happened a long time ago because it's been – she says it gets reinfected every three weeks and it reminds her of Drake or whatever the kid's name was. And then she had just like a – she's like remembering far back into the past. And then, yeah, somebody had to drive them there. I'm just – They're – God damn it. Their handling of Maya throughout this whole season has been alarming at best and very worrisome.

It's – I'm just going to try and breeze over this, Brandon. You just got to let me just i'm just gonna try and breeze over this brandon you just gotta let me you just gotta let us breeze over this i feel like breezing over it lets him get away with it in some weird way i i feel like we need to call it out because it's it's it's not okay it's it's just it's not why is maya talking like she's like a senior in high school? Right? Yeah. Like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, like in modern family.

That's funny. When Haley says it as like a 17 and 18 year old, because that's, you're doing crazy shit like that when you're 17 and 18 and you're going to college, sneaking into college parties and stuff like that. Like that shit happens all the time. and 18 and you're going to college sneaking into college parties and stuff like that like that shit happens all the time like you know it's just when you're in middle school it's it's weird to talk like that like it's just it's it's a little age inappropriate right like yeah and like you can you can still like do stuff like that it's just like i snuck out with my friend to the mall to like we got our belly buttons pierced when we went to the mall.

At the mall. Yeah, yeah. Not Canada. After our moms dropped us off and we hid it from them so it got infected all the time. Yeah, it got infected or it got infected once. Yeah. Just – Brandon, can we just push through this god we're gonna lose all of our listeners when we're just sitting here ragging on everything and calling disney out for their

their weird writing for these youths and like i feel like we have i feel like if we i feel like if we just ignore it like like i don't know i feel like that weirdly excuses it. I don't. It worries me. It worries me. Kelly and I talk. Kelly hears me bitch about this all the time. We literally just had this back and forth. I was like, can we just let fucking kids be awkward, weird, let them figure out themselves, kids, instead of adults projecting their own weird shit onto them. Like, let's just do that, man.

Like, let them wear big, weird clothes. And, you know, like, I don't know. It's just, it's weird. You know, but what do I know? The moral of the story is uh support your local post office but so anyway so anyway so then so evan evan we find out he's we got saturday night practice we can't make the birthday party so what does evan do um you know he does what any terribly raised 14-year-old or 13-year-old kid would do is he goes and he whines to his mom. Yep.

And not only does he – They call it – Alex calls it out because I have in my notes, Evan, for the love of God, communicate, right? And even Alex says that to her credit in this one instance she says go talk to coach cole which is obviously the only like the only thing you could do is like going and complaining your mom is not going to do anything a especially because you know evan you know her track record she's gonna fuck this up for you if you tell her what's going on she and it's almost like he wants her to do it yeah it's it is a little bit of that it is a little bit of that but he wants her to do it and but like you you called it he go talk to coach cole and then when

he shuts you down like you know he's going to go talk to nick and tell him hey coach cole assigned Tell him, hey, Coach Cole assigned us a mandatory practice because what's his butt? Couldn't – what's his name? Felix? Franklin. Franklin. Damn it. But yeah, yeah. Go talk to Coach Cole.

Go talk to Nick. Because you – Nick would be like – Nick would understand. At the end of the episode, he understands. If Nick wasn't written horribly in this episode, he would have just been like, oh, yeah, Evan, I understand. Coach Cole is a psychopath. I'm bummed that you can't come to the party, but we're going to party for you.

And once you are done practicing. Show up when you can. Yeah, come out. We're literally just in the woods right next to the camp. So just walk over when you're done. Yeah. So of course Evan doesn't do any of that. He doesn't talk to anybody.

Yeah. But Alex does. Alex goes and cuts his legs out from under him again. Yeah. Consistently. Every fucking chance she gets, she cuts this guy's fucking legs out. It's like what a – i would have emancipated myself by now i would have been like this is un-fucking-believable but but so so my my

i'm gonna speed ahead so we can kind of cut this off so we go ahead they do the party um evan's plan is to even worse i did like wait hold on. I did like Sophie awkwardly waiting in the bush outside of the party to show up fashionably late. I relate to that. Just sitting in your car because you get there too early. It's like, oh man, you guys just got here? Me too. But so at the practice, so Evan's plan is to fake a sickness halfway through the practice.

When Coach Cole knows what's going on. Yeah, because Alex already dimed him out. So then Coach Cole is like – he's like, I can't believe you're trying to lie to me. At least your mom had the decency to ask me. And then at that point, Evan is like, well, fuck this. I'm just going to leave anyway. And then he leaves. So my – like if Evan had any brains, if these writers had any kind of – if Evan's mom had raised him somewhat properly, you know what you do?

You go to Coach Cole. You ask him, hey, I have a birthday party for my best friend on Saturday night. Is it OK if I miss the practice? He says no. Sure. Because he's going to say no. You go to Nick and you go, hey, Nick, is there any way you guys can move this possibly? If he says no, which I guarantee you he would have moved it.

He would have been like, whatever. No, they couldn't remember because it was their only open night was Saturday night. What? That's a that's not their only open night they're not doing any practice they're not doing they have every other day that they have a practice scheduled is open you know but but so the the point I'm getting at is at that point right you think to yourself what if you just go to coach Cole and be like hey coach Cole I know you said I can't miss it but I'm gonna miss it anyway like before the practice starts you go hey coach Cole and be like, hey, Coach Cole, I know you said I can't miss it, but I'm going to miss it anyway.

Like before the practice starts, you go, hey, Coach Cole, I'm going to miss it anyway. And then he goes, okay, well, you're going to – I'm going to sit you for the first game like he does anyway. Like we could have done everything beforehand. That way you could have been on time to the party or just skip the fucking party. Who cares? on time to the party or just skip the fucking party who cares i i think that the best solution it's a half-assed party we gave brandon you go and you ask coach cole says no then you go let nick know hey i have to make this shit i will be there when i get there and then as a good friend nick should have been like cool man i understand coach cole is a psycho let's all move for sure but yeah yeah that's that's how it should have been handled, cool, man. I understand Coach Cole is a psycho. Let's all move on. For sure.

But, yeah, that's the first and foremost thing. But I'm also saying, like, if you're going to leave to go to the party anyway, just do it at the fucking start, you know? Like, what's the point of showing up for half of a practice and then leaving? Just be like, I'm not going to come. You're in a bad mood on these episodes. a dangerous game this is hilarious but what we do get is what we do get is unfortunately nick being the worst at his own party not letting anyone have any fun this party made no sense like the whole it came out of the left field for nick's character like it doesn't make any sense for his character to act like this. Yeah, it was a, it was a bummer for Nick.

But what we get is Evan finally showing up. We hear Coop was playing solitaire with leaves. It was getting that boring. And then we turn and we see a squirrel eating the lightning mcqueen cake it is the party is ruined he doesn't have it in him to glow and then all of a sudden alex comes up with the save she says hey are you guys ready for a little bit of a kitchen raid. Oh, and we cut to the, the kitchen raid and who do we have? But coach Cole,

just looking like a crackhead that just found a bag of rocks, just digging into that ice cream, Brandon, my God. And, and, but luckily Alex, Alex for the first time does something nice.

And it's like, Hey, you know, get out of here. There's a whole bunch of kids coming in. You don't want to have them see you like this. You look like the biggest hypocrite ever. So coach Cole jumps. We come in, we get the kids crushing ice cream. We get happy birthday with the, with the lights in the lights in the tub. And then Jace comes in and says, hey, team.

Hey, Sophie, I like your hair. He's the only one who notices. He's the only one who notices. And that's it. That's all she wrote. That's a wrap. Maya says, she turns to Sophie and she goes, you with the bad boy. Now, that would be a nice rebel or whatever she says.

That would be a nice rebel streak. That's a rebel. Yeah. But again, Jace is – he's not a bad boy. He's a sad boy. He's just sad. He's not like – he's not doing anything that would constitute a bad boy he's just literally not doing anything a bad boy would have at least had some like goldberg-esque shenanigans

of yeah you know whipped creaming people or like d3 when they like put the ants in right remember that oh god he'd be doing or he would be caught he would be causing some sort of ruckus he doesn't do any of that he just sits in the corner and crocks yeah moping is not being a bad boy he's still the he's still the fucking coach's son you know he's still the golden boy just cause he can't fucking shoot doesn't make him

not the golden boy being the coach's son and not being good does not make you a bad boy it just makes you every coach's son and not being good does not make you a bad boy it just makes you that makes you every every coach's son ever yeah i've never go talk to austin rivers exactly that's a shot at austin rivers i shouldn't i shouldn't have done that that's not nice he he had a couple good years on the rockets i should be nice to him he has a couple good years he did he and he he's made

the NBA which is you know he's a journey he's been a great journeyman he really has even but even to make even to make like I this is we're gonna get you Brandon we don't need to get into a we don't need to get into a rant I I do feel bad I actually like Austin Rivers I'm gonna I I I don't like Austin Rivers um but uh because i i don't like austin rivers um but uh because i i don't like doc rivers either doc rivers is nonsense but um well doc rivers is not a good coach like let's i don't know i don't know what the fuck people are watching that i'm not but maybe i suck at basketball the point i was trying to make is austin rivers made it to the nba and he's been in the nba for a while and that's fucking hard to do so he's he's got my respect there i feel

like people the the rant i was going to go on is i feel like people especially people who don't actually play the sport don't realize how fucking hard it is just to make it to the pros oh my god i that's all i could think about was when the Ghost Pirates games, watching these dudes in the ECHL. Double A hockey. To make it just there is incredibly hard. You have to be incredibly talented, and so much luck has to go your way. Yeah.

And the game of hockey is so hard, and that's why it doesn't make sense with the lack of practice. Right. Like what they have to do in the game setting on skates with sticks like that. It takes an incredible amount of strength and balance and talent and hand eye coordination. And like you can't just feelings your way to success in that shit. You have to work at it. You can if you got a little Minnesota magic.

Well, Bombay with the Minnesota Miracle Man magic can do anything, but these decks don't have that. Like we've established, you don't have Bombay. You don't have any like like we've established we you don't have bombay you don't have any scandinavian spirit guide we have zero minnesota magic on our side during this season zero just forget forget about it there's there's no there's no magic excuse in this season because you lost all of your magic yeah that's what happens when bombay dies in a collapsing ice palace well he didn't die no i like they you know oh fine he's laid up in the hospital for a year after the it from like you know full body cast bombay from the injuries he suffered from a collapsing ice palace see i the way i imagined it is he's not

he's not like laid up in a hospital i the way i imagine it is is he's in a courtroom dealing with all of the legal issues from a condemned ice palace he's he has to stay back in minnesota to defend defend his name in court for all of the the lawsuits that happened you know because you know he's currently explaining to a judge why he allowed children to patron his establishment with that many safety code violations if i'm hendrix or coach t i am suing bombay i'm being like you let us play an underground unsanctioned hockey game in this condemned palace main back for sure yeah so that's that's where bombay is in my mind he's he's in court dealing with all the legal ramifications oh i hope ducksworth has a cheap lawyer on retainer or or uh not that she would because she's a saint um but stephanie is not helping bombay with that because she's a saint.

Stephanie's not helping Bombay with that shit. She's processing. No, not Stephanie. I was thinking Winnie. I was going to say not that she would because Winnie's a saint, but Winnie theoretically could sue Bombay. She was working in that ice palace for God knows how long. The threat to her livelihood. She should have been getting hazard pay. Yeah, willful neglect.

Or like willful injury stuff. But anyways. Is that the proper legal term? Willful injury stuff? Yeah. Yeah, hashtag lawyered. You just got bombayed. Yes. I fucking love that all right so that could be another one that could be another one of our spinoffs is bombay as an actual lawyer doing some law work saving his ass

that could be season three season three that's what that's my pitch for season three is there's zero we don't have there's no alex there's no evan there's season three is there's zero – we don't have – there's no Alex. There's no Evan. There's no Sophie. There's none of the actual – the new ducks. It's just Bombay in court. All of season three. Each episode is a different case.

That's another spinoff we're writing. One's like where he's like being prosecuted by the fire marshal one is where it's like a family kid as like sick from asbestos poisoning exactly that's

that's our other spinoff you know I'm trademarking that idea right now trademarked that's how it works yes exactly but to end the episode once and for all we have the ducks uniting for the birthday and we're gearing up for what is going to be tournament play, Brandon? It's time to put their money where the mouth is. Put up or shut up time. Yep, shut up or shut up time. Thanks for listening, everyone. Please remember to follow and like us on Instagram at TheC Eaters Pod, on Twitter at The Cake Eaters.

Also reach out to us via email, thecakeeaterspod at gmail.com or visit our website, thecakeeaterspod.com.