The Cake Eaters - 51. Game Changers S2:E6 Twigs

Episode Date: February 14, 2023

Heath & Brandon continue their breakdown of Season 2 Game Changers! On today's episode, they are talking through Episode 6 Twigs. They discuss all the past EPIC Tournament Champions, jersey numbers for everyone, the art of custom jerseys, reclaimed water, #JusticeForMJ, Disney being terrible gets brought up again, Brandon picks a fight with Rich Eisen, and they wallow in agony as they think of what is to come with Spirit of the Ducks Part 2. Follow us at www.thecakeaterspod.com and on Twitter (@thecakeeaters) and Instagram (@thecakeeaterspod) Email us at [e-mail]

Remember, it's not worth winning if you can't win! Welcome back to the KKJS podcast, episode 6 of Game Changers, Heath. Twigs. And you know what time it is, Heath? Tourney time. Tournament play. Yes, we are over the halfway point brandon and that is great news for this podcast because that means it just you know a few short episodes from being done and not being grumpy old men anymore

i mean i'm we're gonna i'm gonna be a grumpy old man for the rest of my life i feel like i'm i've been a grumpy old man for a long time. I feel like I'm finally just aging into it. Now it's understandable for me to be a grumpy old man. When I was like 16 years old and I was a grumpy old man, people were like, okay. That's weird. What kind of – It kind of sucks. Is this a bit?

What are we doing here? This guy has got a bit. But Brandon, being a grumpy old man or not like you said we are in tournament play it is time have the ducks prepared enough to be successful against the u.s's top hockey youth hockey players i i can safely answer that question for For any Mighty Ducks – if you're ever watching any Mighty Ducks property, any Mighty Ducks film, TV show, series, whatever, and you think to yourself, have the Mighty Ducks prepared enough? The answer to that question is always no. Always. You don't know shit about preparing for hockey tournaments, Brandon. I do have some fun facts about the epic – what's it called?

The epic – do they have a fancy name for it? Is it just the epic tournament? It's probably just the epic tournament. Yeah, it's just a tournament because then they go and they play in the showcase. The showcase is where the – so that's like wrestlemania the showcase of the immortals exactly so i i was able to because he at the beginning of the episode he's talking about that space right there where they're going to put the 2022 banner get your names etched in history so i was able to throughout the throughout the episode i was able to narrow down

some of the past winners here so i got some of the past winners that were on the banners. Are you ready for this? Shut the fuck up. Did you really? Yeah. So 2021 was Team Dominate champions. Nice. Now, so at the bottom of each of these banners, it says West Coast champion.

So I'm assuming the team – i forget if they mentioned this before but i'm assuming the showcase is when we play the east coast champions wherever the fuck that comes from but so 2021 something about canada too yeah that's what like that's why i was thrown off by like i don't know maybe maybe the canada people are from toronto you know, so that's like Vancouver. Oh, yeah. Maybe Vancouver would be West Coast still. But anyway, 2021 team dominate 2020 team hustle. 2019 team dominate 2018 team dominate 2017 team focus 2016 team dominate 2015 team intention which is our girl jackie she's a she's a certified champ and then that's that's all i could get that's all the banners i could see was uh through 2015 wow um so as you can see team dominate dominate is dominating the epic summer tournament.

That makes perfect sense. That's what, one, two, three, four? Four out of seven years? Four out of the last seven years? That's a dynasty. Yeah, I mean, Coach Cole, that is no surprise. He is the ultimate dynasty uh in the in an ultimate champion at his own camp you know seems like a little seems like we're cooking the books here a little bit but you know what i like the most though is when uh they're

passing out jerseys and evan turns to troy and he says uh you ready sorry i put it troy in my i put troy in my notes again god damn it i hit it two episodes in a row where did you even get troy from i don't know god what is this aj aj right lawrence yeah yeah number 88 number eight all right hold on let me just that's that's that's my other fun fact This is AJ. AJ, right? Lawrence? Yeah. Yeah. Number 88. Number 88. All right. Hold on. Let me just. That's my other fun fact for you is I got numbers for everybody.

Okay, cool. But AJ is a permanently coiled snake ready to strike. I like that. I like that. Definitely not Troy. If you stay ready, you don't got to get ready. That's the anti-Bombay. And I love this. This is where Coach Coleman, he says,

this is a chance to compete in the summer showcase, and this is where the rubber meets the road, Brandon. Life is a highway queues up in the background. No, he says this is where the rubber hits the road i remember because i was like that's not quite the same oh i thought he said this is where the rubber meets the road maybe my brain just filled it in your brain corrected it but he says hits the road and i was because i remember being like that's not quite the same but i get what you're going for. But yeah.

Do you like Coob saying when they cut to the ducks and like, do you think we have a chance? And Alex is like, I wouldn't count us out. And Coob's like, well, I wouldn't count us in either. Yeah. Coob? Good one, Coob. Coob keeps it real this episode. Yeah.

But so they hand out jerseys to everybody. Everybody has the same jersey design. It's nothing to write home about. It's just color swaps for all the teams. So like Dominate is red and black. You have the Ducks with purple, green, and yellow. But so we have, like I mentioned, AJ, number 88. Just like good old Eric Lindros. I don't know if you're a big Eric Lindros fan.

I actually am. I have a starting lineup action figure of eric lindros oh nice nice yeah still in the box so i love me some eric lindros he was he's one of those people where if he if his body wasn't so like brittle and you know falling apart he would have been i mean he was already he's already a great hockey player but he would have been like even better it's one of those what ifs like oh god if he wasn't such an injury prone person what could he have done you know yeah but um so then for the rest of the numbers we even though he's on team dominate evan still rocking 96 like charlie okay and then everybody else i'm pretty sure has the same numbers they had last time so you had kube with 33 just like goldberg sophie with 99 like banks you got nick with four like fulton we had sam with 56 i forget who wears 56 in the original i don't think is it

anybody i could man no averman is it russ oh no no i'm sorry i'm sorry averman is four not fulton fulton is 44 yeah averman is four okay yeah i was going to say. No, you're right. You're right. 56 is Russ. 56 is Russ. Yeah. Maya is six, which I think is Connie. I think that might be Connie. Yeah.

And so then we have our two or three new people. We have Fries, who has no business wearing this number. He's wearing double zero. That's my boy wearing this number. He's wearing 00. That's my boy Guy's number. He couldn't even lace up Guy's boots. He has no business wearing that number. You don't even know how Fries plays hockey, Brandon.

It doesn't matter. He's a side dish. You know who's not a side dish? Guy Germain. He's a main fucking course, okay? And then we have Gertie who's wearing number 21, which I don't recognize that number from the original. I think that's a newish one. But 21, like my boy Peter Forsberg. Oh, okay. oh okay um and then uh jace good old jace is number 11 which again i don't think is anybody

that was in the any original duck but that is the number he was wearing in like all the flashbacks you know and the coach's classic he was wearing 11 so it makes sense that he would carry that over there was this dude that used to play in the uh wayne old man softball league and then go get drunk at the uh white dog pub and you'd ask him um what his number was and go double wiener because it was 11 fun fact so the number 11 always sticks in my head from that i was thinking of double wiener okay i'm so sorry listeners another so so i've lived a weird life man so that's every that's everybody's numbers another another line i loved is it's right after kub uh says i wouldn't count us out or i wouldn't count us in and they turned to to Nick and they go, Nick's got everybody scouted. He can tell us what we're up against. And Nick goes, well, everybody's pretty fast, pretty strong.

That seems to be a common theme here. Also, one of the girls' legal first names is Rambo. Yeah. What a fucking name. And then Maya's like, we have heart. And she's like, you're breathing on me, Takub. So that's i had i i took real issue alex says that alex says alex goes we have one thing that nobody else has

heart which is such a all the other teams have heart too i took real i took real offense to that that's like such a like everybody all of these kids want to be here bro in fact a lot more than you do yeah like they probably have more heart than your team your team has said that they wanted to go home instead of do this um i took real offense with i took real offense with that line it's such a fucking i'm not taking offense we can't take offense to the show anymore brandon like we just have to move on that it's bad i i'd let it be bad i take full offense i think i said i think i said it last episode i mean i mean full 1000 disrespect to the writers of this show this is it's just such a it's like disney is now becoming known for stepping on the throat of all

of our favorite things from childhood it's just slowly but surely just milking the life out of everything but that's capitalism heath you know that's true so anyways speaking of which i think we're we're 15 minutes in so it's time for my annual Ranting Against Capitalism piece. Let's do this. No, Brandon. Instead, actually, speaking of capitalism, let's cut to Dominate playing, and we've got Evan cheering on the bench, and we've got Rich Eisen. You're skipping over my favorite part, which is after Coob says, don't count us in in the rambo line yeah coach cole and coach alex are talking having a conversation right after the whole little

fucking event thing spiel they did and in the middle of alex's line a hockey buzzer goes off a goal horn goes off what the fuck was that buzzer for oh i i i didn't even pay attention it's it's lazy writing they're trying to get a cheap laugh out of something that doesn't make any goddamn sense it that that drove me fucking up the wall like that buzzer would serve no purpose it's not like it's not i keep going i'm i'm getting heated over here that's stupid well i am gonna keep going. I'm getting heated over here. That stupid buzzer. Well, I am going to keep going. And so we get – we cut to the dominate dominating. We get Evan cheering on the bench. Rich Eisen.

Oh, God. Is back. Speaking of getting heated here. His agent assured him that this isn't weird that he's uh so this so rich eisen rich eisen drove me up the wall when he was just doing the the coach's classic but his notes said that maro was on the bench for ditching for practice for his boyfriend or his best friend's birthday for his boyfriend's birthday party so how i put i put bf birthdays i just read it as boyfriend instead of a friend but that's fine too that's fine so i i have in my notes why the fuck is rich eisenstiel

here and then and then b right underneath i bet this is the end of his career well he's making self-deprecating jokes that don't make any fucking sense and he knows the inside gossip of the of every kid and how does he know the gossip how does he know in writer's notes from whoever marnie marnie gave him writer's notes it doesn't make rich eisen is a consummate professional brandon he's not like us he doesn't just jump on the air all willy-nilly throwing opinions into the nethers of the world. He does his background, his homework. This is lazy writing and lazy casting to get some sort of cheap pop out of Rich Eisen being on the show. It doesn't make any goddamn sense

that he knows the inside gossip of each team. You know what would make sense of who would know the inside gossip of the teams? It's fucking MJ. Why is MJ not calling in the games? It would make sense for her to know the fucking gossip and her to be able to comment on it. It doesn't make any sense

for Rich Eisen to do this it doesn't it makes more sense for rich eisen to do it than for an mj to go to a hockey camp when she's never played hockey like what is she there as what would she be there as like why she's covering it for the podcast oh my god so literally how is she getting room and board is is ter Terry paying room and board for her to go podcast in L.A. for the summer? And an elite hockey camp? Is the elite hockey camp giving up a room for a podcaster? Is she staying at the Hampton Inn by herself? First of all, it was a Hilton Garden Inn.

And, yeah, you already have the product tie-in. She could have stayed there. Or there's goddamn rv in the middle of the fucking woods i i really hate that the last two episodes have really emphasized the point that i made about me being terrible at names i just the the the rich eisen thing is bugging me way more than it should but it's driving me up a wall. It makes no sense for him to be there. It makes no sense for him to know the gossip of these fucking 12-year-old kids. It would be so much better from, A, a logic standpoint, and B, like a fun enjoyment standpoint if you had MJ doing it. You already had her calling the games in the first season to not bring her back for the second season when you wrote a part that I imagine was for her.

I imagine all of this was written for MJ and then they were like, oh, we can get Rich Eisen for like – for five fucking dollars because Rich Eisenisen's a fucking sellout and then we can put him in here shots fired a true professional brandon there's i i'm this may be an innovator this may be a controversial opinion that i'm going to spout here but if you're a sports journalist you are doing no positives for the world. It's the dumbest fucking job ever. Unless you're Bill Simmons and Ryan Russillo, because then you're at the very least keeping Heath entertained in the mornings. Sports journalists are a waste of time and space. The Russillo show did a live podcast from Denver, and nothing made me sadder than not living there to attend it. I would have given, I would have been,

would have been fucking awesome. With Kyle. I apologize. So I'm going to, I apologize to Rich Eisen. He, he doesn't deserve my ire. It's the writers and the casting department and whoever's idea was to put him in the show that deserves the ire.

I'm sure Rich Eisen is a lovely guy. I stand by what I said, though, that sports journalists are a waste of time and space. Go cover a real fucking story. You just got a real burr in your britches, Brandon. That's all I'm saying. I just can't believe that they had a part that would have fit perfectly for MJ and Terry. Or just MJ. You don't even need to bring Terry back. It would have fit perfectly for MJ.

And then they give it to Rich Eisen. And then they make him do like – if I was Rich Eisen, I wouldn't have taken – like I would have read that script and I would have been like this is – like they're making him make self-deprecating jokes about how his career is over. But he's one of the top podcasters out there. The Rich Eisen show is very popular. It is very popular. But like you don't – I don't know. It just seems like such a fucking cheap – it's a cheap sellout move on Disney's part, not on Rich Eisen. You don't need to bring Rich Eisen into this.

Like that – You do if you want a true professional on the mic there, Brandon. For what? It's for a fucking hockey institute summer camp this doesn't i don't know let's listen i'm done i'm done screaming about rich eysing i just i want hashtag justice for mj that's what i want listen maybe she isn't she on babysitters club maybe she is busy doing babysitters club i have no idea what Babysitter's Club is. It's a show on Netflix. I'm a little concerned that you know what it is.

Oh, my God. Brandon. I keep tabs on some of our biggest podcast fans. Cat Jessie. Leah is one of our biggest fans, though. She always hits like. She's a friend of the pod. Friend of the program.

And Terry. Sorry. Terry, the number one friend of the pod friend of the program and terry terry the number one friend of the program like i think that's what's getting me that's what's really chapping my heart is these are my boys you know these are my my people and they just got cast aside for rich fucking eisen listen i agree with you brandon it's just that rant is now over we're moving on and we are um we are team dominate dominating and then we cut to the ducks and we see well you gotta you gotta you gotta you gotta mention the scores here oh i didn't pay attention i got all this what how are you taking three pages of notes and you

you skip over the most important parts? I got all the good parts. All the weird shit they said to each other. Except for the scores. And the names. Didn't get the names right either. I said gentle notes, right? So I got them, but they're not detailed. It was team dominate minus Evan.

Evan didn't play because we skipped out on practice for Nick's birthday. I thought he just got benched, but he just didn't play. I thought he just got benched, he wasn't starting. Or he just got benched the whole game. He got benched the whole game. He wouldn't have started anyway. The dude sucks. Oh, geez.

Okay. He's gotten better. That's true. Now that he's not being taught by his idiot mom. But no, no. They benched him the whole game. Not just starting. It was the whole game.

So Dominic beat Team Perseverance 8-2 was the score. 8-2. And then we cut to Ducks versus Team Intention, our girl Jackie. Yeah. Did you see what score we started at? No. Was it 4-0? 5-0.

5-0? Okay. 5-0 halfway through the second period. That's where we cut to. Yeah. And I put – We're starting at 5-0. Coop is an open net.

Coop may as well not even be in the fucking net. He literally doesn't move. Yeah. Yeah. is an open net we're starting may as well not even be in the fucking net he's just he literally doesn't move yeah yeah and and uh rich eisen says these ducks need to learn how to swim because hockey is not working for him and that didn't make any sense so yeah because so we cut to it's five zero then we get uh a couple goals that show that Coop's not moving. And then we have a one-timer where Brown on team intention scores. And that makes it 8-0. Wow. And then it cuts to Alex.

She's on the bench. And she turns to Jace. And again, we only have two kids on the bench. Which means we only have seven skaters total. Way too small of a team. We don't have any depth. And we're clearly not doing lines, like line changes. If she's just turning to him and goes, oh, hey, you want in?

So that's another reason we're learning. We're losing is because we don't have anybody. We don't have any players. But so Jace goes, okay, I i'll go in but i'm damaged goods and then he fucking whiffs yeah um and then we get a rapid cut of four more goals and you know what the final score is there he's 12 to nothing team intention yeah yeah cool what a route what a rousing start to the tournament for the ducks yep and then well they know it too because we cut to alex and nick and nick is like turns out skill level is important yeah alex has a line where she goes man this was like a whole

new level and it's yeah that's what everybody has been trying to fucking tell you for this whole goddamn time. If you would shut up for five seconds and listen to Coach Cole, he said it's the best of the best. Like the kids want the Hockey Institute to be exactly what it is because they want to be good enough. It's the elite performance hockey center. Elite being the key word.

They want to be good enough to even make the minors. Like most, 90% of those kids won't even make the minor leagues of hockey. It's not fucking Humpty Dumpty summer camp. You know?

Yeah. Anyways. It's not fucking Humpty Dumpty summer camp, you know? It's just, yeah. Yeah. Anyways. Yeah, I wrote that line down. This is a whole new level. You think? A quick message from our friends at Broken Forest Collective. Built on a passion for small batch and handcrafted products,

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yeah, that's a toughness. I like to see that. they were playing either focus or accountability. I think they were playing focus. Team focus. So we get, there's a lot of excitement, but we get Evan blocking the puck, showing some hustle. Coach Cole is all about it. And then we cut to evan coming into the

room oh and then um rich mentioned something about the good play too we don't give a shit about rich but he did he had a he had a good line which would have been you know a better line if terry had delivered it but he says uh evan laying out to block a pass he's he says something like i forget what it was but he says something like he's uh sacrificing himself as much as one can in child hockey yeah it's as much as one does in youth hockey oh i love it um cool but then we get evan and coach cole in the in his office and um you know coach cole says you know you're a real grinder and for that i've got a fresh new pair of skates and evan says something about the shampoo giving his hair great volume and he loves it there and you know he's just very

thankful given 150 gotta love it i love it ccm does all the uh well ccm and under armor does all the ghost pirates gear it's great stuff high quality i got a really nice hat the other night nice nice in a jersey i i spent way too much money at the merch store but it was worth it i got some they got some they got some really merch, but they fucking sell out of it all the time. I got the last XL jersey ever. They sold out of all of them. All the colors. Is it blank or did you get a name and number on it?

Oh, it's just blank. Okay. They're all blank. Unless you want to go customize it somewhere. Yeah. Actually, two dudes. yeah you gotta find the grinder on the team given 150 percent what two dudes two dudes put on the back of their jerseys one did deez nuts and one did ligma balls was it were they number number 69 i don't know no they're

just normal numbers and they both had wives that was the most shocking part is that they each had a wife next to them. But yeah, that's welcome to Savannah. So custom jerseys always crack me up. I can't like someone on the back end of an order form was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's these nuts. It makes sense. It sounds like a good jersey. Do you imagine accompanying that dude in public, like willingly,

being like, you know what? This is a person who I chose to spend the rest of my life with. Old guy that has D's nuts on the back of a fucking sports jersey. You know what? Maybe Doe's nuts are worth it though you know maybe he's maybe he's got some top-notch nuts you know like like chef's chocolate salty balls yeah yeah you know you you put up what you put up with a lot if that if that if that nuts game is worth it you know it it. If the juice is worth the squeeze. All right.

This is a kid show, Ethan. It's a kid show. Nothing about our podcast is child-friendly. No, definitely not. If you're listening to this with your kid shame on you you're an idiot yeah what's wrong with you god um some people's kids but um so anyways um wait what was the who's the ladies coach because i i definitely wrote down the wrong name in my notes again so i'm just to ask you who it is.

Which one? There's Jackie, which is the strength coach. I remember Jackie. Jackie is memorable, the strength coach. But the other one that made Nick do the push-ups because she's like, they're nobody. Go make them eat ice cream. So I forget her character's name.

Okay. But she is one of the new people on snl have you watched any of the new season no snl she's on she's a she's a new cast member on snl i forget what her actual name is and what her character in the show's name is but i know she's on snl i'll give you one guess what you think what uh what i wrote down troy no i put barb no it's what is that barb it let's go to let's let's go to the tape roll the tape yeah um her real name i know start like starts with an m you know it's either barb or like diane i think whenever we google stuff i bet it's real riveting for uh for all of our listeners here i always hope that you go in and cut this out well i usually i usually do cut cut it cut i i cut it i cut it down to when we when we met when we bring it up and

then when we get to the answer i usually cut that that's uh uh but well in the meantime i did write down one score and we know that the ducks lose nine to zero for this nine nine to zero to team hustle team hustle with coach barb coach barb or diane or maybe it's let's see coach coach don coach don played by molly uh kearney kearney molly kearney okay i was close diane she is on uh yeah she's on the newest season of SNL. She's also in an episode of the new League of Their Own TV series. Did you watch that? No. I haven't watched the series yet.

It's on my list to watch. But I fucking – Well, I mean – but the movie. That's one of my favorite movies of all time. I love that fucking movie. Tom Hanks is so good in that movie. It's just, it's everything about, I've actually,

I've actually heard great things about the series too. I've heard that they did it. It was real done really well, but I just haven't watched it yet. It's on my list. Listen, after the, the rings of power fiasco.

And that's true. It is. It is an Amazon, Amazon prime show. So so so i just i don't trust any remake anymore it's just you know they've they've gone to the birds and we know what that means to the government gone to the government yep but uh yeah so team hustle, Coach Don, 9-0. And, yeah, I love that she – make him eat the ice. Yeah, make him eat the ice. And then we got the Coach Alex, Coach Cole meeting in the halls.

How does picking from the bottom work for you? Not well. Especially when you don't practice. Yeah, because Coach cole's team is going for a celebratory run around the lake because it's going to be beautiful i would i would like to see him reward the kids of being like hey let's go for a celebratory swim in the lake as long as it's so i'm i'm gonna stop you right there okay because alex brings this up i think she brought it up in the last episode.

She said there's a lake right around the corner that nobody swims in. And I'm going to say, okay, we're in the middle of Los Angeles, right? Oh, it's probably a – what are they? We're in the middle of – The Retainer Lakes? Yeah, we're in the middle of Los Angeles in like what I – I assume this ice thing is in like some sort of like corporate park office park kind of scenario you never know it might be it might be like out in the burbs where there's like a

beautiful lake that even fish on and stuff even out even out in the burbs in los angeles i'm gonna argue that this lake was a man-made and b it's probably using reclaimed water so i would not swim in that thing i i'm i i am not a good person to talk about brandon i used to swim in the creek um which was literally full of cow piss and shit so like you know it's okay that we used to jump jump off the bridge into the creek go swim and explain so much about you i used to work at a i worked at like they're all man-made lakes in nebraska like they're kind of gross but you just get over it you smell like lake water when you get out are they using reclaimed water though i would imagine this the la la lakes using reclaimed water and as somebody who as so i worked at a mini golf slash actual golf course place that used to reclaim water. And we had signs up everywhere saying, please don't go in the water and please don't drink the water because it's reclaimed.

Listen, you know why my fucking immune system is so good, Brandon? I used to swim in the creek full of cow piss and reclaim water. I would argue your immune system is so good brandon i used to swim in the creek full of cow piss and reclaim water i would argue your immune system is not great it's great it took me two years to get covid also so you got it once it was not catchable that's when you caught it brandon you're the worst you've been you've been the absolute worst in these last couple episodes. I just want you to know that. I blame Rich Eisen. The team fucking ruined my day.

All right. So anyways, let's cut to the feeling sticks. Wait, no. Before we cut to that, so it's right after he's talking with Coach. They're talking with Coach Cole. And they wander up to the standings board right and i got the standings here for you team dominate team hustle team intention and team endurance are all two and oh okay okay and then focus accountability perseverance and the ducks

oh and two so we're not we're tied for fourth we're not doing terrible right we're not we're not so terrible that we're out of this thing we're tied for fourth i will have to say that team accountable needs to be looking in the mirror there for a little bit of accountability for that oh and two well that's the that's that's the uh that was the weird ginger coach right the one that like wanted the the high pressure shower from the rv oh yeah yeah you know i i would be shocked if they uh they had any kind of accountability there but well uh but so there's that they a whole – and then they all start crying. And then Coob hits us with I think is like the most like earth-shattering line of this whole series is because instead – so Alex is a – she picked all of the worst players, right? So she's purposefullyfully tanking the season. And then she's not having the practice.

She's not setting – she's done everything in her power to set these kids back this summer. But poor Koob. Koob is sitting there and he's internalizing this. And he goes up to Alex and he says, I'm sorry we let you down and it's like no no kook you have that backwards kube you should be furious at her because she's letting you down yeah imagine if he was with coach jackie he would be getting he would be getting so i quick twitch so you brought this in that goal so so we can skip ahead to the the stick part here or the spirit stick or whatever it's true stick of truth whatever you want to call it feeling stick

because you so you mentioned something like this last episode having them like instead of alex going and drafting every single duck besides evan that she should have like you know done what the actual process of this camp was and i wrote that down for this episode, specifically for the spirit feeling things. Because the spirit feeling scene or the feeling stick scene I feel like reinforces and proves how irresponsibly – I'm going to say irresponsibly written this season is and most of it is because of alex because i a outside of sophie and evan none of these kids have any business being part of this camp right now it's been established their parents and alex should have looked at that and been like, Coob, maybe you don't go to this camp. Nick, maybe you don't go to this camp.

So that's irresponsible on Alex and the parents' part for sending them to this camp. But then – OK. So we accept the fact that they're going to this camp, right? Every single one of these kids, as evidenced by Evan so far, every single one of these kids would have benefited so much more if they had been split up. Yeah. So much more. Not only from a hockey standpoint but from like an emotional standpoint because these kids are not – outside of Sophie and Evan, these kids are not physically prepared for this camp.

And because of that, it's ruining their mental. Yeah. You can see it's making them feel like shit about themselves. Exactly. And they don't know why. And it's not their fault. It's because everyone else is preparing. Yes.

Everyone else is preparing. It takes exercise. It takes hard work. You have to get on the ice and put in the work to do this. We talked about how you have to be skilled to be able to do these things. Because you don't just talk about it. You have to be about it. Exactly.

So I wrote down – so imagine this, Heath. Imagine this. They all go to this camp, right? But Alex doesn't get set up as a coach right i don't know it was stupid that they did that in the first place we don't need to alex doesn't need to be a coach but imagine this okay they all show up at camp alex is still the ra or the counselor or whatever you want to fucking call her and she is simply there as the counselor to help each of these kids, like they fall back on her for like emotional support and she's able to help them that way. But they're getting individual one-on-one hockey fucking training from these coaches that actually know what they're doing.

Yeah. And then like make it intriguing and fun. And then they like face off and play each other. I don't know. Yeah. It would have been a way better season but instead she we put them all on the same team and we rehash every single fucking trope and storyline that we did last season yeah it's it's boring and lazy is what it is yeah so anyways do you want me to go through what everyone's feelings are with the feeling sticks, or should we just skim through that?

Go through it quick. Quick? All right. So we've got Gertie from Alaska. Hers makes sense. She doesn't know what is or isn't weird because she is a lonesome wolf child. Fostering walrus pups. I like that.

Yeah. Love that. Sam feels like we suck also dislocated his finger in the last game just walking around with it that's really realistic um fries is tired of being invisible family always travels for aj's games make him sleep on the cot hoping it'd be different but it's the exact same we got another sad kid on the team so it's a team of sad kids fries sophie is feeling lost because she's trying to be someone she's not she's talking about getting tattoos um you know we just need sophie to be herself be yourself kids maya is exhausted from all the stuff um that was that was her line not not to

long but her line was the one that made me was like these kids are getting mentally stunted right now and because i mean the i forget i forget the actress's name but the the girl who plays maya delivers this line beautifully because she it gets to her and she just goes i'm just exhausted and it's like like, yeah. She's burnt out. Getting your ass kicked is exhausting. 12-0, every fucking game would be exhausting. Yeah. It would not feel good. You do suck, you know?

And I like how Gertie has so many knots in there. She's like, just cut him out. She's like, no, no. Koob is bummed that everyone's bummed, but he should be bummed that he is the worst goalkeeper at the camp. Jace feels like it's pointless. His twig is pointless. Feelings won't make us better.

He's right. Correct. Jace, feelings will not make you better. But anyways, then Alex is like, oh, my parents got divorced and summer camp was a place I could be my friends. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Again, she's projecting her own insecurities on these poor kids this is not a summer camp that's not what we that's not what we signed up for it's not like my my favorite was nick was like yeah jeez i can't do mine now because mine was going to be about having to do laundry

and i i would get that having to i want to be in camp and do your own laundry fuck that um that would suck so anyways um but yeah so the sticks alone they can break together they're unbreakable but now we have dominate versus ducks um and sophie says Jace isn't coming. Um, and who, that's cause Alex, it, when Jace says,

uh, when he hands her his stick, he goes, this is pointless. And she goes, and Alex, like a, like a fucking,

the petulant child that she is like blows up at him a little bit. And she's like, if you don't want to be a part of the team, don't be a part of the team. Don't come. If you don't want to come. And it's like, okay, be a part of the team. Don't come. If you don't want to come. And I was like, okay,

that's exactly what he needs to hear right now. Great job, Alex. Yep, exactly. Well, she's a great coach as always. And so,

but we've got Coop playing some great goalie. We get Sophie. He's, he's, he's actually moving, which is more than he's done. First time so far since tournament play started. You know, we get your boy, He's actually moving, which is more than he's done ever. First time so far since tournament play started.

We get your boy Rich commenting about Evan playing his own mom. Sophie is crushing. We got two ducks coming to play. Yes. Sam and Gertie score. And I wrote down when Sam scored, I wrote down the team dominate goalie had a real cube move there when he like dives halfway out of the goal. Yeah, somehow it's two to two. I don't know how this is.

Tied game. How could it be? Tied with team dominate. But we figure it out very soon, Brandon, because Nick needs a little bit of extra hydration so he goes to get a little bit of was it powerade i couldn't was it powerade or was it gatorade it was some sort of non-copyright infringing label but it looked like powerade okay i thought it was powerade but it

like knockoff powerade which yes but that doesn't taste good um but it was it was some it was it was neither powerade nor gatorade it was some made-up thing so they weren't infringing on any copyrights blue powerade tastes like college hangovers i've had i haven't had Powerade in decades. That's what I'm saying. Blue Powerade, college hangovers. It's hard to drink now. You know, a little taste aversion. You know, that happens. So anyways, team is celebrating.

Nick goes out to get some knockoff Powerade. Lawrence is already there chugging away. Nick is like, man, I don't know what electrolytes are um and then there's a i don't blame so let's go ahead uh it was a nice little bonding session and then four and then with him and with him and his boy aj and then aj just like oh geez i can't keep this up anymore he's like god we're playing with our off hands because i had he felt bad that nick was like we're hanging in there with you guys i don't he didn't feel bad i think it was the opposite oh he wanted to really stick his nose in it no i think that makes sense he's trying because i'm imagine okay imagine you're lebron

james right oh and you're playing with your left hand and a college team is hanging with you and then they're talking shit yeah imagine you're lebron james you're playing one-on-one with me right with brandon you're playing one-on-one with brandon and you're doing your ass kicked oh i i'm i'm keeping it tied right but you're you're playing but you're ass kicked. I'm keeping it tied, right? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. But you're playing with fucking a hand tied behind your back or whatever. But I don't – and then I come in and I'm like, man, I'm really fucking killing it today, man. Me and you, same skill level, right? We're doing so good.

I don't blame AJ for being like, you fucking son of a bitch. You're not as good as I am, okay, bro? And then – But also, AJ, come aj come on bro keep your cool here yeah you can't let the cat out of the bag here but then nick lets the team know they were trying to humiliate us and so coach alex is like oh i'm not trying to humiliate you they're playing with their off hand we have to play the third period normal and so um the the and i don't know why they're mad at evan like he did what his coach told him to do i can understand so i can i can understand being a little ticket Evan for that, right? Oh, because he maybe just should have told them. But they should have.

Wait, hold on. How did they not notice? I was just going to say, how in the actual F does Evan's mom not notice that he is playing with his opposite hand i will so i will say i don't know no she coached him for an entire hockey season last year two two things here right okay one oh my god one she still doesn't she doesn't know anything about hockey so you know how she's stopping and two in her defense i will say in this tv in this tv series and in every single one of the movies the the like the stunt doubles they use for like the actual hockey are always like consistently a different hand than the kid like if you like we just we just got different than a mother like yeah but i'm saying i'm saying if you go back about sports mama d knows nothing about sports and she would instantly be like why is he playing

with the other hand within 30 seconds would she be able to tell if you when you're holding a hockey stick which yes are you sure do you know how many games they went to they they pick up on that stuff very quickly it just takes a pulse and small observational skills a alex doesn't have any observational skills we've established anyways it doesn't matter can we. Can we move on? What do you want to yell about now? The issue I had, though, is – So after they get mad at Evan, they're like, Evan, how could you do this? The Evan I know would never do something like that. He goes, I'm still the same Evan.

And Sophie goes, well, what about your new skates, rich boy? Fucking rich boy. Well, she didn't say that, but I also – That's what her eyes said she called you know she you know what she did she called him a fucking cake eater is what she did fucking rich boy cake eater that didn't make any sense because no it doesn't make any sense i gathered sophie's parents make much more than evans yes sophie is a cake broke during a fucking game like why are you getting mad at him?

Getting a new pair of skates after his broke? Like you should be super dude. You got a dope new pair of skates. Wish I could grab a set. Like fucking, fucking rich boy, fucking cake eaters. I hated that.

I actually put that. I was like, why are you mad? His other, his other skates got fucking broken. Like, what do you, you want him to skate around on broken skates?

Tape your broken skates up like a goddamn man, Heath. Okay? Yeah, like a duck. That's what we would do and put some newspapers on for shin pads. Yeah. I wrote that in my notes too, though. I wrote, brand new skates, question mark. Fuck off, Sophie.

Okay? That's what we're going get mad at is this his new his new skates yeah anyways um you're all at like what i imagine is like a thirty thousand dollar summer camp for hockey new skates are fine okay yeah i just anyways doesn't matter um team is humiliated then afterwards and we cut to the locker room nick is yeah well i actually like this they get blown out they get blown out now yeah yeah because kub stops moving again absolutely destroyed they just i don't know if i saw the final score but they got rung up i did i write it down no i don't think they showed the final score but it was two two at the end of the second so yeah yeah they got blown out and uh but we go back to the locker room and nick is retiring

as the gm and he puts his massive binder as he should he talked he talked up a big game about being able to moneyball this shit and he and he did a terrible job i think he he vastly overestimated alex's coaching skills to be able to pull this off i think nick could have done some money ball work with bombay but with coach alex it doesn't make yeah we're not even gonna have crisp rotations like you know it's gotta you gotta show up to ice time yeah you actually because because that's the whole point of money ball right it's like the scrappy hard work like you can out work the other team if you undervalued assets yes if you put the right people in the right places and you outwork the other team by doing the things that you do really well well you'll be successful and win you don't have to have the best of the best.

So anyways, it doesn't matter. Alex is an idiot. But what we get after Nick hilariously puts his huge binder in a tiny trash can is Sophie is done with laissez faire. Play it. Cool. So good night.

She cares. She wants to kick butt. And then Jace comes in and he's like, you know what? Play it cool, Soph. Good night. She cares. She wants to kick butt. And then Jace comes in. And he's like, you know what? That was uncool. My dad tried to fool you guys. I'm in with my broken shot.

When he hands her the feeling stick. Did you like that impression, Brandon? It was spot on. But when he hands her the feeling stick, I swear to God, I thought it was a wand. Like he was holding a Harry Potter wand. Because the way he holds it... Don't besmirch Harry Potter, Brandon. I'll take very much offense.

Go back and watch that scene. The book is already an abomination. Go back and watch that scene. He's holding it like you would hold a a harry potter wand when he hands it to her he's like i had to like rewind i was like why is he holding a wand oh wait no that's the feeling stick that's right but what we get is alex is like listen i've got a number from Coach Bombay, and I've got it on speed dial, and we are going to try and get some Minnesota miracle magic up in this bitch.

So she calls up the number. Guess who she calls, Heath? Take a wild guess. Ghostbusters. No. That's wrong franchise. Wrong franchise. Well, that's who i'm gonna call no spoilers brandon i haven't even watched the next episode yet well they she's she says it on

the phone she calls him up and the people are the the answer uh she calls the anaheim ducks is who she calls she says she says it on the phone call. Yeah. Yeah. So how is that a spoiler? She says it. Well, she says the Anaheim Ducks, but she doesn't – we don't know who that means. That was the answer to my question. It was the Anaheim Ducks. Who does she call?

She calls the Anaheim Ducks. Oh, the Ghostbusters. No. Anaheim Ducks. Sorry. I thought you meant like who is the individual on the other end of the phone. That's the cliffhanger. We don't know that yet.

That's the cliffhanger. That's what I was getting at. I forgot that she called the actual Ducks of Anaheim. She says, I got your number from Gordon Bombay. I need your help. And she called the offices of the Anaheim the anaheim ducks so yeah and we bring back more retro gear god just they literally they literally just did they literally just released oh really they literally just released the reverse retro the new reverse retro jersey damn it all right i wasn't paying attention i did see i was looking at

uh fanatics always has good now i don't was looking at, uh, fanatics always has good. Now I don't want to date this episode, but fanatics always has good black Friday deals. So I was taking a peek. Um, they got some pretty cool Nordique stuff on the shop, Brandon, you know? Yeah. Yeah. But, um, some also the Colorado Rockies got a whole bunch of Colorado Rockies hockey gear yeah I don't care for that all right well you know you know what I think to say I don't know dude oh I'm gonna go I'm gonna go hater rant here again you know the the I'm so overseeing the Colorado flag on any type of anything that's not an actual flag like a colorado flag bumper sticker a colorado flag hat a colorado like it's just i'm over that became a very very popular thing a while back they put it on everything and it's so fucking annoying because you know who wears that shit people not from colorado yeah so other people know they move there go fuck yourselves get out of my state wow that's really aggressive i'm glad

as an out-of-stater i'm coming back unbelievable a lot of nebraskans moved to colorado i feel that's because nebraska's terrible hey be nice it's just you know when it's it's it's just, really cold in the winter and really hot and humid in the summer. Did I – so I've been – It's so humid. I've been back in the summer. People don't realize that. I've been back for like a month now, a little over a month back in Colorado, and I lost all cold tolerance.

Like being in Atlanta and Seattle for the last like six six years i don't have any cold tolerance anymore i am i am like i am fully bundled up at 50 degrees and so i am about to be in a real world hurt in a couple months but you know that's that's neither here nor there you know that's what that's what hoodies are for yeah but anyway she calls the ducks so we have the cliffhanger uh but we were right we talked episode spirit of the ducks part two and we talked about this in in our preview episodes heath where um they were going to summer camp in la so the natural thought process was at some point the Anaheim Ducks – at least I thought – I don't think you mentioned this because you're not as smart as me. But I mentioned the fact that the actual Anaheim Ducks were going to show up in this TV series because we're in LA.

It's only natural for the actual Anaheim Ducks to show up. And I think I remember you being like brandon that's not gonna happen um because i'm my name is heath and i'm an idiot i'm pretty sure i said keenan not the ducks i mean i said brandon's an idiot i've never said that about myself what's wrong with you you keep putting words in my mouth i'm getting tired of the podcast that is that's the cliffhanger so we're gonna going to, we're for sure going to get the Amheim ducks. Now, so now the question is,

do we get any OG ducks? That's the cliffhanger question. And we better, we better get some actual OG ducks. Otherwise, if we don't get any OG ducks, I'm going to like, OG Ducks. Otherwise, if we don't get any OG Ducks, you thought Heel Brandon was coming these last couple episodes? Wait until we don't get any Ducks throughout the whole season.

I'm going to be furious. Just wait, bud. Just wait. I have no hope. No faith. Yeah. I feel like with this cliffhanger that they set up, you have to. You can't.

It's Keenan. Hopefully. It has to be Keenan. Hopefully. It doesn't. Why would they not? It's perfect for Russ to make it. Yeah.

It's perfect for Russ to make a Yeah It's perfect Hopefully And then Russ teaches Nick the knuckle puck And that's how the Ducks upset team dominate The goalie I hope so They have to There has to be a duck right You can't set this cliffhanger up

And not have a duck show up Yeah It's called spirit of the ducks too up and not have a duck show up. Yeah. It's called Spirit of the Ducks, too. You got to have a fucking duck show up. Who knows? I'm fully expecting them to drop the ball on us, though. Yeah.

Well, we'll see. Goddamn, I hate this show. One more week. Woo! Well, two more weeks until we drop the episode. What does it matter? The people listening to this now will have already watched it. And I think – I would imagine they've already watched it because it's been out for a while. They would have already watched it and they're probably listening to us being like, you fucking idiots.

You don't even know. You don't even know. You have no idea. Sad sack. Thanks for listening, everyone. Please remember to follow and like us on Instagram at TheCakeEatersPod, on Twitter at TheCakeEaters. Also reach out to us via email, Thecakeeaterspod at gmail.com or visit our website, thecakeeaterspod.com.