The Cake Eaters - 52. Game Changers S2:E7 Spirit of the Ducks Part 2

Episode Date: February 28, 2023

Heath & Brandon continue their breakdown of Season 2 Game Changers! On today's episode, they are talking through Episode 7 Spirit of the Ducks Part 2. They discuss the emotional roller coaster of abuse that Alex puts Evan through, Bombay still living in the Ice Palace, going big or going home, the benefits of Thunderchats, how Disney desperately needs to hire us as writers, Marni stealing the show again, the amazing concept of Self-Awareness, and how this show couldn't get a single gosh darn cameo from the OG Ducks. Follow us at www.thecakeaterspod.com and on Twitter (@thecakeeaters) and Instagram (@thecakeeaterspod) Email us at [e-mail]

Remember, it's not worth winning if you can't win! Welcome back everybody to the Kick Eaters Podcast. We are tackling Game Changers Season 2, Episode 7, Heath. We are fresh off Team Dominate, dominating the Mighty Ducks. And you know the title of this episode, Heath? You know what we're in store for? False advertisement. Spirit of the

ducks part two heath and if you remember back to season one spirit of the ducks part one easily the best awesome easily the best episode of the season amazing so remember when banks was like go ahead sorry i'll say so many cameos we had we we had banks kenny woo averman fulton connie and gee was that it i think that was all that was in that one yep that was it but don't you remember when so many when banks came into the banquet and he's like these guys are a bunch of cake eaters yeah we we had Banks calling everybody a cake eater. We had the Coach T cutout reminiscent of the Bombay cutout. They mentioned Charlie about how much Charlie hates Bombay now.

We still have zero resolution to that. Yeah. So, obviously, that was so many many cameos the best episode of last season obviously spirit of the ducks part two is going to be even better even more cameos right heath obviously the first one fit the name the spirit of the ducks came back it was alive again they were the passing of the torch when they had all the the names that i just brandon yeah that's when god damn it they dubbed lauren and maya the bash sisters right yeah connie and fulton taught him how to hit you know just all around freaking averman driving the limo out on the ice

I forgot about that Yeah, come on You know, to scoop up Bombay when he was doing a sad skate Yeah It was such a great episode Anyway, so Back to episode seven We get

Spoiler alert We don't get fucking any of that This is Honestly One of the biggest disappointments of my entire life. I was so mad during this zone that Kelly came in from the other room and was like, everything good in here? And my only response that I could get out is, this show is so stupid. I wrote down in my notes, fuck this show.

It was right after – This is where they strangled the spirit of the Ducks. It was right after – what's his name? The little Duck liaison guy is talking to um alex and he goes you're looking for the coach of the ducks you're the coach of the ducks you just gotta find you gotta find the little sideways thing to win and right after that i wrote dude fuck this show i'm pretty sure i wrote something very similar i either wrote i hate this show so much, or I was just yelling. That was a definite moment when I was yelling at the TV.

I'm just, God fucking damn it. No, she's not. No, she's not. I do want to point out for everybody listening, we don't get nothing, we should say. We do get, we get three actual Anaheim Duck players, but they don't say a fucking word. Why? No. That one guy, that one, no one no they said that they said like two things they say like let's let's go or whatever they say and they said oh look mini ducks oh that's right mini ducks but uh but why i why bring why bring three

actual duck players in and then not have them say anything? It's just like a weird little skating montage. Trying to justify anything that happens in the show is a complete waste of our time. Yeah. It's a good thing we don't have a podcast predicated on that, Heath.

Listen, let's just say tune in right here so that you can tune out of the blasphemy that this show has become. Disney and Josh Duhamel, because he can't he can't be far from the blame because I saw a writing credit for him. He has writing as well as directing credits throughout the season. Not every episode, but a good chunk of them. And this has Buddy Games just written all over it. Like this is his directorial debut.

It's not gotten much better since. Sorry, Josh. I just, you know, just reach out to us. Reach out to a couple of podcasters that get the spirit of the ducks and let us liaise with you so that you don't take the duck out back and just gently strangle every ounce of life out of it so i just don't understand how you don't have not a single, not a single goddamn cameo. You know what got me the most was when the little liaison guy is walking her down into the bowels. And they talk about Russ?

Well, before that, they're talking about meeting the coach. Alex is like, I need to meet the coach. I need to meet the coach. They stop. about meeting the coach alex is like i need to meet the coach i need to meet the coach they stop right because this is the fucking bullshit teasing thing where i know they know what they're doing trying to be fucking assholes is they're talking about meeting the coach of the anaheim ducks and they stop while they're in the mid conversation about that they stop in front of a giant poster of coach orion and the duck oh yeah i saw that once they did that i was like okay we're gonna get we're gonna get a like a like a three second coach orion cameo that would that would i would

have taken that that would have been fucking amazing but no nothing that would have been as even though the third movie is imagine imagine if it would have been ryan imagine if coach orion is the coach of the actual ducks in this universe that would have been a fucking fantastic and again you don't need him for a whole goddamn scene you just like three seconds that's all you need on camera that's all all you need i don't know there's and he's not he's not doing anything he was on he was on uh what was it big little lies but that's that's wrapped that's he's not doing that anymore he's got plenty of time coach arayne i'm sure is more than capable of showing up for a cameo at this point brandon it's it's on us because we keep expecting this show to be clever and you know fun and to have an actual spirit of the ducks and like

us expecting that that's on us you know like we know what fool me once shame on me fool me twice this is this is like in that scene in tommy boy when they you know talk about putting a guarantee piece of crap on a box that's just this is just a disney Plus sticker on that box full of crap. Yeah. It is 100% our fault, though. As soon as Emilio backed out, we should have known. We should have known. We did, deep down. Deep down, we knew.

But there's just this little sliver of, this could have been salvaged, right? Like there was pockets and there's moments of creativity where creativity or like anyone that is like not some weirdo. Like, I don't, I don't know. I don't know who is the show is written for. Yeah. like i don't i don't know i don't know who is this show is written for yeah they straddle that line where it's like are you are you writing to the original duck fans or are you writing to new duck fans and even in this season where they don't outside of the two seconds of fulton and portman at the very very beginning where you're not bringing back any old people, they're still not writing it for new duck fans, you know?

Yeah. Because it's, it's this whole, not the whole season. The vast majority of the season, again, was about Alex's goddamn love life, which the,

the, you know, the 13, the 13 to, you know, eight year olds that you're trying to get new duck fans for, they don't care about that shit. No,

they want the kids like they would like uh it just and even us i don't want that i don't want alex's love story nonsense no and i didn't i didn't want it with bombay and i sure as hell don't want it with josh jumel yes exactly like it listen if we don't want to watch bombay's love love life we sure as shit don't want these two idiots yeah and i also you know like i trying to be like okay am i just a grumpy old guy i can't watch kids shows anymore that is not true well i i love kids shows like you know adventure time gravity falls those are classics that can be watched over and over again. And so then I was like, okay, let me test out another kid's show just to see if I'm a fucking piece of shit and I'm just being a huge asshole, right?

And so what do I pull up? I pull up Hannah Montana, Little Wizards of Waverly Place, Little iCarly. Those shows are awesome. Well, those are older ones, and I don't know about awesome. Well, they're not that old. They're like from the 2000s. Yeah, that's 20 years. Oh, my God.

That's 20 years. Oh, my God. Wait. Okay. Hold the phone. I know we can talk about we can really like burn through this in a second but i had this like moment a few weeks ago where like my mortality just like hit me in the face with like by a ton of bricks where i was watching step by step gotten super into it lately

go check it out on hbo max it is like if you go back and watch season one you're like holy shit this this got on tv this is interesting okay but in it frank the dad was 39 for the first few episodes turning 40 yeah and then i did the math um and in april i am merely two years younger than what frank was the dad of those three kids and i've just jesus christ i'm basically dead brandon one fucking foot in it's it's good we're getting there we're getting i'm the same age as the parents in the shows i used to watch brandon that's just that it just it hit me for the first time you know it just it fucked me up it's like because frank lambert looks old dude like he's got oh yeah gray and all that stuff now granted you know i'm not gray I just don't have any hair.

Anyways, I don't know. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. Okay, let's delve into – Let's burn through this really quick. Let's just fire this up. We've aired our grievances.

Let's go through the episode here. So we start off – like I said, episode six ended with Team Dominate playing with their opposite hands, dominating the ducks, right? Yep, after they switched back to their normal hands. And so then we get the classic thing where Alex is like, you know, we're just having so much fun. And then everybody's like, it's not fun to get your fucking ass kicked, Alex. Oh, that seems familiar. When was that? Last season.

All right, let's keep moving so she makes her emergency call at the end of six to um uh somebody mystery mystery person somebody at the anaheim ducks like team office right yeah who bombay gave her the phone number for yep so then um so start off season seven she keeps calling him. She's leaving voice messages, and she walks in. This is right where she walks into the lunch. She misses dinner. It's dinner. Yep. Or dinner, whatever.

Josh Duhamel had a line here that I wrote down because – Same. He makes a great point. He makes a point that we have been making this whole time. We're talking about two different lines. Two different – Okay. So first with my point where she says, wow is over or dinner is over already and he's like all right

there's literally a dude mopping and all the chairs are on the tables are you you're obviously an idiot and then secondly that was my line i was going to talk about oh okay sorry and then secondly why doesn't he does he not know the name of the guy Does he not know the name of the custodian He says a guy over there with a mop You know his name Josh D'Amel you fucking hired him He's the only custodian we've seen You know his god damn name

Be a good boss Josh That's a great point Brandon How hard would it have been to be like That's James is over there mopping Like he does. I was going to say Jerry. Yeah. Like I come on either.

Fucking Jerry James. You know, his name, if you don't know his name, that's alarming, you know? Yeah. Cause I mean, he seems like,

you know, Marnie has some real toxic workplace vibes going on with her anxiety in this episode. So, or the next one, I can't remember whichever one. Yeah. Well, I wouldn't call it toxic. She's just, she's just highly attentive. You know, she's, she's out there to get the job done. Yeah.

She doesn't seem, she's not, I wouldn't say toxic. She's never someone being like mean or demanding. No, but she is just like a nervous little bird around him the whole time, you know, just twitchy. I love. Nervous. Later on, I love the scene. I think I wrote down a couple lines. We'll get to it. But when she's, when she thinks she's about to get fired.

Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, we'll get it. We'll get into that. Okay. oh that's a good one yeah we'll get it we'll get into that okay so the second point of this is when he goes you know your job here is to know the schedule and it's alarming that you are you have no idea what's happening around here like it's all i could think about the whole time too it's like you got to be fucking kidding me like it's fire her fire her twice over again like jesus christ i just that brings up another point because when she's a trash person like why

are we making her like the fun hero character she is a shitty employee she's a she's a terrible mom she's selfish inconsiderate i wouldn't say terrible't say terrible. She's got a roof over his head. She's doing her best. All parents are just doing their best, Brandon. We got to cut up some slack there. But she is selfish, inconsiderate. Evan is going to have to spend years in therapy going over. Oh, my God.

Absolutely. The unintentional emotional abuse that his mom is giving him throughout these two seasons Absolutely, like when he goes to college and gets real sideways into the party life And then realizes he resents his mom and never comes home Like just gear up for that season five Yeah Season five, I hope there's not five seasons Alright, so yeah season five i hope there's not five seasons all right so um after that and then alex in like

complete alex fashion was like i didn't hear anything you said i just heard alex and awesome um i just i hate her character yeah it's hate the character and i was yelling at the character. And I was yelling at the character. That was another part. And Kelly was like, oh, Lorelai? See? Well, I mean, Lorelai is not a – I love Gilmore Girls. I love Lauren Graham. Lorelai is not a hero either. Lorelai – talk about terrible moms. Lorelai is a terrible fucking mom too.

Oh, because she makes her daughter her best friend, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they talk really fast? Yeah, well, I mean, that's not why she's a terrible mom, but they do talk really fast. Just a couple fast-talking coffee shop owners, right? Don't they own a coffee shop or something? Well, she owns like a catering business or whatever. It doesn't matter.

Or not owns. I don't know. It's been a while. I got to re-watch kill more girls but that that was i like going back to season one like i came in and i was like um i was like damn i'm i'm ready to love lauren graham and her character and then it just alex is the worst alex is the worst all right let's let's keep rocking. Kids select captains tomorrow. They're still salty about them switching hands. And he's like, get over it.

The ducks are not delivering the level of competition that I have promised these parents. And, you know, he's not wrong. I would demand a refund. I would, too. Fucking candy stealing and all kinds of crazy shit going on in camp this year thanks to alex and the ducks um and then he calls her out for not helping out her son enough because he didn't show up for the game um and she's like you know i have a plan to turn things around and it's coming. And I wrote down because her plan is to to come to go to whoever she called for for help coaching advice.

So my my I wrote down in my notes, I was like, this is just she's I mean, the apple does not fall far from the coaching tree. She's just like Bombay, where her plan is to rely completely on somebody else she's she's a bombay disciple right what did you expect i mean we just went through d2 bombay the dude almost had usa forfeiting out of the junior goodwill games showed up halfway halfway to the third period and we are shocked that alex is then almost a whole day late to the fucking camp and never on time like she is a product of her coaching environment um we can't let bombay completely off the hook he did have some influence on this but he was also living in the basement of a condemned building so what do you also what do you want from that guy what do you what do you think the chances are that he's still living in there while they're doing construction

he's for sure he's for sure he's like moved his stuff into like a little closet and he's just like hiding in there when when everybody leaves you know yeah like a rat yeah oh my god um so anyways all right next we have evan opening the door for the kids the kids are like you know brandon we can open our own mother loving door um and and evan's just like what do you guys want from me i want to be friends while also dominating which is it's that's not too much to ask i gotta be honest with you no it's it's camp like when it's it's a it's a fucking hockey camp like that's the part that just keeps grinding my gears about this show is that it could have been fun and charming but like it's a hockey camp so like you can have fun and do all the things but you still have to get better

at hockey yeah and you can be friends with somebody that's not on your team yeah that's the whole point of this isn't the civil war guys yeah like it's a fun competition. When I used to play basketball camps back in the day, we would all play each other, but we would all hang out at lunch together. Look at LeBron and CP3 and Melo and D-Wade. Yeah. That's the buds. And you know who is completely responsible for this? Alex. Yes. Yeah. know and you know who is completely responsible for this alex yes yeah she has created a divide between teams right like this is the perfect example of our political parties right like it's extremism no one can interact with the other yep it's uh i hate it i hate it all brandon i did like the scene with the with

adora and then when he's talking to nick shortly after this too okay that's good because uh yes the tension between nick and evan and then nick comes back it's like i didn't do sorry i i didn't do real great with that interaction i don't do well with conflict these scenes uh these scenes i loved because it just reminded me of like middle school drama you know yeah those were the days man those were the days yeah they did do that one they did do a good job with that um and and evan nick nick does some good stuff here but uh evan's like man i'm playing the best hockey in my life but i really wanted to trip jace when he walked by me there like that was the most that was the most kid thing that's been said this whole two

seasons i think um and and then nick is like all right uh he's like am i did i give too much up for hockey and no this is a great my answer to that question is no. Nick is incorrect with his response, but I do love the response nonetheless. I say he definitely hasn't given up too much for hockey because, A, these friends of his, he was not friends with three months ago, four months ago. Yeah. And, again, you can still grow the friendship outside of being on the same team and then he mentions sophie and i wrote down for that i was like the you and sophie were never gonna make it so you know let's rip off this band-aid get this over with she's way outclassed you buddy we talked about that last year. But even though Nick incorrectly said yes, because, like, I'm sorry, you cannot be mad at Evan for participating in the camp just because his stupid-ass mom is telling you guys that that is not okay.

It's not okay to be like that. Like, she has created all of this. This is all her fault. And she is somehow made out to be the fucking hero and it drives me nuts yeah it's crazy i do like his that i didn't agree with what he said there where he gave up too much but i do like his sentiment at the end when evan is like should i just and he and nick basically says no go big or go home you know yeah you've come this far fucking do it you know and so i not correct response here but when he has the thunder chat because it's gonna rain i thought

that was awesome um it's like you made these decisions this is on you you know team dominates gonna win and play in front of the scouts um and you know that's the path you chose so there's only one way there's only one way. There's only one way out. And it's through my friend. Exactly. And then he said, hockey is my girlfriend now. I did like that. You can't date a sport.

Evan, this is why Sophie dumped you. You're kind of weird, dude. Oh, yeah. So Dominator choosing captains um you know and they wait a few games into the season so they can make informed decisions which makes sense um it's got to be unanimous unanimous before we get into the the whole captain thing i do want to point out because somebody and i forget who pardon my pardon me for One of our TikTok followers commented on one of the D2 episode clips about how there's never any girls on the other teams. They're always all ducks. Yeah.

And I just wanted to point out that I noticed three girls on Team Dominique. Nice. Yeah. So they did – okay, we'll shout them out for that i you know i call that out later there was that girl and from team dominique like why haven't we why do we not know her name why have we not been introduced to her because why don't we know any speaking roles we don't know any of these people i mean it was the same thing with gertie and fries we didn't how would it have we not been introduced to them before they get drafted to the ducks?

Yeah, because there could have been relationships or like character. Like there's no character development, which is insane in a 10 episode season. How you have zero character development for anyone like no, except for except for Josh Duhamel and Alex. That's like. And Evan. And then Sophie does a complete 360. Yeah. No, it just, I don't know. Anyways.

I think that's my biggest issue with Game Changers as a whole. Because now we're 20 episodes into this, skipping ahead from where we are now. But two 10-episode seasons, and there's extremely little – there's zero reason for this to be 20 fucking episodes. You could have made an hour and a half movie. Yeah. There's we still, we'd probably know less about our ducks than ever before. Yep.

You know, it just, anyways. All right. So dominator choosing their captains. It should be easy. AJ Lawrence, you know, he,

he makes good points and everyone raises their hand except evan yeah and evan says you know um i think it should be me yep he's gonna pull the he's gonna pull the charlie move and make it all about himself no well i mean he does he does make some good points there at the end uh but before that, we cut to the Ducks picking their team captain. And I believe it's Nick that says this is like nominating someone to be captain of the Titanic. As it's sinking is what he says. As it's sinking. Classic stuff.

That was a great line. See, that goes back to the frustration of there is stuff here that is good and that they can work with, but then they just abandon it right away. Yes. There's potential all over this for it to have been good, and then we got this. And so it's not clever. It's not fun. It's just meh. It's like they –

I don't know who it's for. This is what happens when corporate America takes over the movie industry. You get fucking corporate pieces of garbage. Yeah. It's just bland mush. Yeah. Yeah. There are pieces within this season, within this episode even, where it's like if you just i hate i hate i know

we've been shitting on this and these and these these poor writers this whole entire time but it's and i and i really i really hate to call out people's like effort because that's so hard to judge and you everybody oh but like it just it seems like they're they're not even trying it's like they don't they don't even care yes and you know so i actually as i was complaining to kelly endlessly about this because it's just such a waste of my time um and and so i was just complaining to her about it i was like you know they could have just asked me to, you know, at least, you know, be a consultant in this. And then the show would have accidentally turned out for the audience that would have gotten 10 or 100 listeners or 100 watchers. Right.

Who the fuck am I? But, geez, do better. Like, this is why you're a professional. It's your profession. I expect you to be a professional. You do this for a living. You know? Yeah.

This is your fucking job, man. I'm good at my job and I work really hard at it. Do better. Yeah. They definitely should. We've been saying this since the beginning. They need to hire us on as consultants, if not, you know, co-writers. Just so we can yell at them about like, you think that too many yes men were like, Josh Duhamel, you dreamboat.

I will never disagree with you. Well, I mentioned this a couple episodes ago. It's a husband-wife writing team, which – That's right. I hate to shit on love, but when you work with your spouse it's a lot of challenges and you i would imagine you end up with a lot of yes yes men type conversations when you're dealing with your spouse especially with writing you know i don't know it's a lot of a lot of like self yeah self-indulgent nonsense that i think if you had a if you if you

had a different team you know it wouldn't have it would have been like if you hired us as consultants because right now this show i'd give it like a three out of ten right yeah maybe somewhere there if me and you were hired on consultants i we could have easily gotten it to a four four or five yeah exactly that's exactly what i was thinking i was like yeah we could have bumped it up to a four or five because we would have expanded the audience a little bit right like we would have helped them inject just a just enough charm that it would have like had that like just inkling of duck's magic in it right and it would have been like and instead of just like weird blatant things it would have been like clever

nods to the old movie right and subtle and funny and like again because you know and then it and then focus it on these kids and give them like really good material to work with nick is the star right like he is the star comedian thing like kube has evolved this season so his character should have evolved as well to be at least better a quick message from our friends at broken forest collective built on a passion for small batch and handcrafted products, Broken Forest provides high-quality casual wear and lifestyle goods that are American-made and built to outlast the fast fashion trends. They also plant a tree in Boulder, Colorado for every product sold.

Visit brokenforestco.com and use the code CAKEETERS15 for 15% off your order. Coob gives a very inspiring speech. Wow, Coob, maybe you should be captain. He's like, oh, no, I am so sorry. I did not mean for that to sound inspiring. Do not pick me. I thought that was great stuff, too.

Yeah. Coob, and I'm blank. Yeah. And again, like you mentioned, Coob, Coob, the, and I'm blank, it's like Luke, Luke Salam, I'm butchering it. That's like maybe 5% of his actual name.

The dude who plays Coob. I know his first name is like, his first name is Luke, I'm pretty sure. But the dude, he's been crushing it. He's by far, him and Nick are by far

the most capable actors of these of these kids um yeah as far as a comedic role yeah the the girl who plays sophie is a fantastic actor um but i feel like her her acting style i think is more suited to dramas because she was she was in she played one of the kids in succession um the hbo show she killed it there she's a great actress but i think she she's more of a of a drama she's got drama in her future maybe not necessarily a oh or especially or are you saying she's just better with good material i was gonna say she's not if you maybe if you gave her good comedic material she could she could deliver it. But this is all I heard.

This garbage that they're giving her is ridiculous. That's all I heard. So anyways, they're going back and forth and they can't decide who's captain. And Sophie tries to say she doesn't want it. And then all of a sudden, here we go. Alex gets a text back unsanctioned field trip coming right up and i just the liability here for the camp like this is just you are an adult alex you're an adult parent these are things that you need to think about

before you do them you can't just unsanction a field trip with if you get in a car accident with that rickety ass rv on the highway and these kids die coach cole is getting fucking sued not you you know yeah anyways okay so marnie then catches them leaving and uh this is good stuff she's like she's like 10 000 steps a day to keep the low bone density at bay yeah marnie's fantastic in every single scene she's great um and it's um and she's like you know it looks like you're leaving he does not allow leaving and alex typical because speaking to your point in my notes i wrote yeah not leaving campus is a great rule when you're dealing with hundreds of kids yeah

and and kids that kids that like didn't come with you right that's yeah because we got we got fries and gertie you know yeah yeah the other day. Yeah, and, you know, the coal kid. Their parents don't know you. Yeah, they don't trust you with their kids. Imagine if Gertie got hurt. Imagine how long it would take for her parents to find out. It would be a month. Yeah.

Anyway, so Marnie is, like, gearing up with the dial on the walkie-talkie. And this is where I just – I hate – this is where I hate Alex's character again. Because she's like, you know, Marnie, these kids are really hurting. Being a perennial underdog, it really takes its toll. I wrote that down. I wrote that line. Being a perennial underdog really takes its toll i i wrote that down i wrote that line being a perennial underdog really takes its toll you know what would help not be a perennial underdog is if you fucking practice

practicing oh my god like and so this is what bothers me because these are the youth of america watching this show brandon and like this bullshit perennial underdog magic stuff it doesn't work if you don't put in the work to get better like you have to be a scrappy underdog guess what you have to do you have to be scrappy which usually means the hardest fucking worker on the floor you know it just are in the ice or whatever it fucking is it just damn it brandon anyways all right sorry i'm just no yeah i'm 100 with you i wrote that down because it was like i was like you got to be fucking shitting me you know i typed eye roll the the lap the just the absolute lack of self-awareness i think that's that's my biggest pet peeve with or not my biggest

pet peeve that's my biggest issue with alex as a character and my my biggest biggest pet peeve with – or not my biggest pet peeve. That's my biggest issue with Alex as a character. And my biggest pet peeve with people in general is a complete lack of self-awareness. Yes, and that is an epidemic in our society. Oh, it's crazy. And it's always – I got this – I'll tell this one story real quick it's always it's always old fucking white people too that have just zero self-awareness of what they're doing or where they're at like I so I uh I was doing a market for broken floors the last couple weekends and the uh the booth that was next to me um is this dude Eduardo him and his wife they make like stuff out of alpaca fur

right yeah oh nice they got like stuffed animals socks all that stuff and his wife they make like stuff out of alpaca fur right yeah oh nice they got like stuffed animals socks all that stuff and they're they're both from peru and so this this old white guy comes up and he starts talking to eduardo and he's like asking about like where do you get the fur and he's like oh we're you know originally from peru that's where like our family is and they do all the sourcing and all that kind of stuff and the dude's eyes light up he's like oh peru i went there you know back in you know the whatever he's like i fucking love it it's great starts talking to eduardo about peru for for like 15 minutes then he leaves right he leaves and he comes back like an hour and a half later and he he comes up he comes up to he

he had to he had to have lived like by the market because he came by multiple times over the three-week period. He had to live right by. But this time, after like an hour and a half, he comes back and he – not running but walking as fast as he could up to Eduardo. And he goes, Eduardo, one of my buddy's daughters is going to Peru over like next summer. You need to talk to them and like tell them all about Peru. Then he proceeds to pull out his phone, dial the phone number, hand it to Eduardo and go, hey, talk to him. Eduardo being the nice guy he is, is like, oh, yeah, sure. I'll talk to him. If I was in that situation, I'd be like, oh, yeah, sure. I'll talk to him.

If I was in that situation, I'd be like, go fuck yourself, dude. I'm not talking to anybody on your damn phone. Get your phone away from me. Well, the best part was the person he called, the old man didn't even tell him he was calling him. So he gave him, Eduardo, the phone. The person picked up the phone, and Eduardo was like, yeah, this is – I'm calling. He told me to talk to you and the dudes the the girl was like oh okay but then eduardo proceeded to as the nicest guy in the fucking

world eduardo proceeded to have a 20 minute phone conversation with this lady no 20 minutes why did this person stay on the phone with him i would have had that conversation over in 45 seconds that's i would have never because my parents would do something insane like that you know like they're just that's that's big mike written all over no i'm kidding he's not that bad but he would he would stop and talk for like 30 minutes he tells he just well you have to like tell him sometimes that's that's normal. To just talk to everyone? Well, that I get like in these kind of markets where you – if you find some sort of common interest, you sit and you talk with the vendors. That I totally get.

Chat, chat. It's the coming back an hour and a half later with the phone and being like, hey, you need to talk to this person. And then – so Eduardo is on the phone for like 20 minutes and the dude – it's his – Did he buy anything? He bought something like the first the first go around um i don't think he bought anything at least 50 bucks but uh but so eduardo's on the phone for like 20 minutes it's the old guy's phone so the old guy's just chilling there like while he's on the phone but then after like five or so minutes the old guy like starts walking

around the booth and he ends up going like back in behind where Eduardo is. And he starts like messing with stuff on like there's like blankets back there and he starts like looking at the blankets and stuff. And then the shelves that are on like this type of booth, they're not – it's just resting on pegs. They're not like built in or anything. He's like messing with the blankets and he knocks a shelf down. Oh my god. All the while, Eduardo is on the blankets and he knocks the shelf down. Oh my God. This is the, all the while Eduardo's on the phone and I was like sitting across,

I was having the time of my life. Cause it was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever seen in my life. How is this real life? I couldn't, I couldn't make that up if I wanted to. That was amazing. Oh my God. The audacity of people like zero zero just zero self-awareness the whole concept of main

character energy needs to die as soon as possible people need to quit thinking they're the main character because no one gives a shit about you your family your future families like just it's okay to have nice conversations just be mindful of people's time like just be a fucking person i don't know it's this is absurd brandon it was the it was the most ridiculous thing i'd ever seen because i poor eduardo dude poor fucking guy he probably got like a 20 fucking dollar sale out of it too it was all oh he was he was way too eduardo's he i love it where i met him for the first time because i did three weekends of that market and i i was next to him all three weekends and that was the i met him for the first time that first weekend and we just he's a great guy

super way too nice as on as as evident by him handling the phone call situation because i told him like after the whole thing i was like eduardo you're way too nice i would have told that guy to go fuck himself which he needed to all right that was a beautiful story and i'm glad you told that let's rip through let's try and do the rest of this movie in 20 minutes can we do it okay? Okay. Here we go. Here we go. We're going to rip through. All right. So we hit the home of the ducks,

a shrine built because of kids like you false. We get a Bombay name drop. Yep. We get Gordon Bombay break glass in case of emergency phone call for a phone number. And of course they need it because they know nothing, but you know emergencies so they're trying to meet the actual coach of the ducks that statue out front of the arena that's pretty tight

the wild wing right wild wing yeah yeah oh yeah that that was super tight i they listen that that arena they did that right that was pretty cool i just don't like orange. I just don't know if I like orange as a main color. So the assistant to the assistant of talent relations greets them. The Mighty Ducks get the white glove treatment. Unfortunately, they can't meet the coach. The reason behind why is so fucking stupid. Why is the coach handling PR? You have a PR department for this fucking shit.

Why is the coach handling PR? It doesn't make any goddamn sense. And, and who gives a shit that they serve duck at a ducks event? No one cares. No, no one, no one cares.

Least of all the head coach of the hockey team he he cares the least out of everyone in that fucking this is why you have a goddamn pr department yeah dude duck confit is awesome so like they it's probably not completely out of the realm of possibility that the ducks eat duck on occasion oh yeah but yeah i wrote that down why why on god's beautiful green earth is the coach handling pr yeah i don't know i mean people people eat things i saw a tiktok the other day about like how um a certain squirrel eats rattlesnakes and that was fascinating yeah and they like bathe in like rattlesnake skin and stuff it's it was it was awesome how do you how do you bathe in skin well they like just rub it on themselves so that they smell like

rattlesnakes and then they go in for the attack and like because they eat rattlesnake they've like built up a certain level of tolerance to the venom depending on like the age and the amount of venom that's pushed out and so like they can take like a bite or two as they're like killing this you know this rattlesnake this poor defenseless rattlesnake i i'm rattlesnakes are not defenseless brandon i still will have nightmares about the time i we ran into a rattlesnake on a trail not paying attention and that bad boy was just sitting right in the middle and all of a sudden you heard oh dude and it like as we like walked by it was horrifying i take flapjack to this like uh like big open space that's got like hills and all this

kind of stuff and there's rattlesnakes all over the place flapjack does not give a fuck there's this well he does he doesn't even like it doesn't even register in his mind he Saddlesnakes all over the place. Flapjack does not give a fuck. He probably loves saddlesnakes. There's this – well, he doesn't even like – it doesn't even register in his mind. Like there was this one time we were like – we were getting close to the car to get back. And I was just like – I wasn't paying attention. I was like moseying along behind him. And I like looked down and there's a – it was like – it was stretched out. So it wasn't in like defense mode.

Um, I think it was just trying to book it across the little thing before we got, we got there, but it's go, it was like stretched out going across. No, no rattle or anything going. Yeah. But, uh, cause it wasn't in defense mode, but flapjack just fucking just walked right over it. No, like not a care in the fucking world. And I like saw it right as he was like over top of it and i like ran up and like fucking like shoved him away from the snake so what the fuck are you doing dude

how does like how did no instincts kick in at all no well it was no instincts for him no instincts for the rattlesnake and no instincts for me all three of us were just fucking oblivious everyone's daydreaming yeah uh anyways all right we went we're not gonna get through this in the 20 minutes um all right so um they're they're sad about that and that they can't really get there. But what he gives them is hats and puck cakes and pens that are hard to write with. Yeah. Yeah. They can't meet the coach.

So the dude, I forget his name and I forget the actor's name. He's in a bunch of stuff. But they're essentially like, you can't meet the coach. Hit the bricks, bud. Yep. And then we cut over to dominate choosing their team captain. Um, AJ is like,

I got the highest shooting percentage can bench all your parents. I gave, uh, Sidney Crosby, the head nod in the airport. Um, you know, we,

we needed more AJ, AJ. Yeah. Connor DeWolf is the guy who plays AJ. He's excellent. Crushing it. We needed more AJ It was amazing

And then Evan gives his stupid story I got caught and then they banged to help me back My new team didn't win I'm always facing adversity I want it more I hated that I mean it's fair I just hated the way he went about it So then we get

An ice bath challenge dude i fucking i love cold tanks that's like my that's like my ultimate goal is to get a cold tank going in my house or in the backyard or something you know yes and then this is where the girl that organizes the ice bath challenge i put would have loved to know who this who this character is because she seems like someone that we would have liked to get to know or at least know her name when she speaks out for the first time yeah like you know like look look pretty yoked um you know right she looked fucking ripped yeah that's what i'm saying like she looked like she belonged on team dominate did great with her lines i would have

loved to know who the fuck she was i guarantee you she could bench press a couple parents too fuck yeah dude oh like her and aj love story done in all right so then we're back to the ice um or to the honda center and you know alex is like i feel like i let you down and the kids are you know seeing the bright side they're easy to please um and alex is just the worst um and so she's like let me go thanks this and um gertie's like nice i think we're gonna go get some keychains i thought that was good stuff and nick was like uh no come on look at these hats. One size fits most. Dude, like kids getting like, I would have been completely sold. Like a hat, a pen and a cupcake. Dude.

I mean, I would have grabbed two cupcakes. So I would have been able to eat one and then save one as a memory. And then thrown it away two to four months later. Yeah. It would have made it all the way home. Anyways, that's my hoarding issues. After that, it cuts to Jace, right? Yeah, Jace is being a real downer on the loading dock.

He's sitting on the loading dock, right? And he's watching his own mental meltdown. Over and over and over again. What a fucking sad sack of shit dude yeah they they did they did not try at all to make this kid likable no i i do not like him at all i hate that sophie likes him she once again sophie can do better i think i think sophie i think what we're finding out is sophie has a type and it's the sad boy yeah oh my god you're right she loves and and i'm telling you right now so that's why she dumped that's why she got rid of evan because evan wasn't sad anymore yeah she's like i need a new reclamation project sophie is gonna be in for a world of hurt when

she starts dating if she's trying to fix people oh my god yeah if she keeps up with this type she's she's in for it's gonna be rough yeah don't fall don't fall don't fall for the legitimate sad boy just advice for everybody out there if the person is legitimately a sad boy like jace is be be their friend you know be there for him get them enrolled in therapy but don't don't hit don't do not hit your wagon to them yeah because you will just become the therapist oh yeah absolutely that's it's obvious it's already happening yeah sophie is for sure his therapist anyways all right so um i can't go back inside there There's too many bad memories. You know, after they show the big whiff, then he went back and hit the puck in the goal. I just.

Yikes. But that's just. It's so. Why are you watching your own mental fucking. Yeah. Yeah. Anyways. And then they had a super awkward little kiss there because they're making good memories.

Yeah. Sophie, she thinks she can fix the yips with a little kiss there. Cause they're making good memories. Sophie, she's, she thinks she can fix the yips with a little kiss. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, it did,

it did work. It didn't work. And then we, then we cut back to coach Cole. Marnie's coming in, handing over rosters and coach Cole's like, Hey, the ducks choose their,

their captain and long story short, Marnie absolutely breaks under the pressure did you and she has my favorite line of the entire series in this transaction yeah after she spills the beans and she's like they left whatever she looks she looks coach cole in the face and goes i did what i did and i cannot be blamed i'm i'm using that forever now that's that i like in my like like annual reviews and shit you never you know if i ever you know if i ever get arrested that's what i'm going with that's my defense i did what i did i can't be blamed and and when i like to and uh he's like, Alex snuck off campus.

That's a rule. You can't go off campus. And Marty's like, maybe that's your rule. And he's like, what'd you say? She's like, nothing. That was something Alex said. You know, the one you're mad at. See, once again, that was a great interaction.

And then it's just surrounded by dog shit. And so then Alex, once again, Alex having no concept of her, like, the world not revolving around her. Serious self-awareness. She breaks in to the player personnel only office after multiple people were yelling at her to stop. The fuck? Dude, I hate her. I hate her. Follow the rules.

All right. So anyway, so then she starts telling this dude her sob story. He's like, oh, you know, whatever. There's nothing he can do. Blah, blah, blah. And so then they're walking and then we get a little bit of history. Yeah, this is when they're talking about meeting the coach right in front of the Coach O'Ryan poster. Yep.

It would have been a great opportunity. And then we get the Bass brothers. They had no fear. Do you think that – so they walk down like a corridor, which I think – it looks like it's leading to the locker room, right? Yeah. But there's pictures and pictures from the movies. Yeah. Pictures and pictures.

Well, and then in this case, it would be from the – in this universe. The real thing. From the actual team. Do you think that the Honda honda center actually has that corridor they yeah they put that in the movie right yeah yeah no there's no there's no way they've won a cup right it's not they're not gonna have a stupid fucking knuckle puck golden knuckle book oh my god it's just why would a professional team touch a hockey puck from the junior goodwill games for good luck because it was a knuckle puck dude it's the first fucking

knuckle puck well not actually that wasn't the first knuckle puck um or was it it was did they mention which game that knuckle puck was from was it the first one no they didn't mention which game it's from. I'm assuming it was like the game winner at the end. Yeah, the Iceland. So anyways, talking about the knuckle puck taking flight. Long story short. But this is such a goddamn tease. You have the Coach O'Ryan photo.

Then you're walking down the – Russ Tyler. The giant Russ. They're talking about the knuckle puck. And you're – at least me, I was thinking, okay – at first I was thinking – when I saw the Coach O'Ryan thing, I was like, Coach O'Ryan is going to be the fucking coach. And he's just going to like walk down the hall or something. Then they get to the Keenan photo and I was like, okay, Keenan is going to be here, right? Come on.

It was just such a goddamn fucking tease. Disgusting. But then we cut over. Oh is wait hold on we do have to call out this is where we talked about this offline this is the scene where both of us were officially 100 out this is an unsalvageable show um when this this dude is like you know you just need to figure out that awesome weirdo sideways things for the kids and you know if you're looking for the coach of the ducks just you're the coach and it's like the the worst fucking coach ever yes that is her

i i hated i hated that i hated the weirdo sideways win-win. So stupid. Yeah. Anyway, so. You know how else you could win, Heath? Like how everybody else fucking does it, playing hockey? Fundamentals. Yeah.

Actually knowing how to play the game. That helps. Anyway, so then we cut to this is actually amazing where we get uh nick uh laying down some bars fries boxing you know we got uh gertie and sam keeping the rhythm and um you know that was just uh some great back and forth you, and then they are joined by Sophie and Jace fresh off the kiss called out by Coop. And then Alex comes down get your gear. We're going to the

ice. Quick cut over to the ice bath back and forth back and forth. AJ, this is nuts. I'm out of here. Evan captain of the Dominate and he is team Evan Captain of the Dominate And he is Jazda

Team Dominate not the Dominate That sounds weird the Dominate These names are fucking stupid Well listen Brandon I'll just go on the Twitter And talk about it So then we are back And the Mighty Ducks are on the ice And

This is part two of why I fucking hate this show so much. We get Alex who we established last year. Doesn't know how to play hockey, but somehow hit a mile, 20 mile an hour fastball or whatever. Somehow hits the, it doesn't matter. Brandon.

I'm so 20 miles. It doesn't, it doesn't matter brandon i'm so 20 miles it doesn't it doesn't matter brandon i'm so checked out of this show this isn't even it doesn't i don't need to use real hockey phrases because they have yet to play any form of real hockey the ducks so it doesn't matter and and somehow alex perfectly demonstrates the knuckle puck first time around i commented i hate this show so much i'm done i'm out though yeah when she knuckle pucked it past coob and it was blasphemy brandon i don't know what the fuck that knuckle puck was it just it was they they the way they the way they filmed it and like cgi'd it this time was completely different than the way they did it with with uh keenan and russ and the first time was unbelievable right like we knew it could never happen and that

was part of the the charm of it right it's like you could tell it was a puck on a string twirling like that. But you still wanted to try it just in case it would work, right? This made no sense. They turned it into like a heat-seeking missile is what they turned it into. Yeah, like, yeah, God. It doesn't matter. I mean, Goop sucks bad enough that like he would let that shit by. The more egregious thing, I think, other than changing the way the knuckle puck looks, is how you have anybody besides Keenan teach them how to do it. I know.

If you're not going to spring or you can't get Keenan for scheduling reasons or whatever, fine, whatever. Leave the knuckle puck alone then. I agree. They could just get some juice from the players like they and like fix jace's stupid shot you know it doesn't matter that's what oh dude that's what they should have done is like space jam some anaheim ducks secret juice yeah secret sauce um so anyways who's ready to change things up? Oh, dude, you know what they should have done? What? What should have happened is they get invited.

So you forget about the whole PR disaster, right? What happens is they come there. They meet Coach Orion, who's the coach of the Ducks. And Coach Orion falls back in love with the Mighty Ducks. And he's like, you know what? We're having an executive team dinner, whatever, the next night. Come to that. You're all invited.

They get there. Guess what's being served? Duck Con V. But the kicker is that's the power is you eat the duck to become the duck. And then boom. They is you eat the duck to become the duck and then boom. They become one with the duck, United Ducks of America. Why the fuck have we not been hired, Heath? I don't know.

But let's – we missed our 20-minute mark, Brandon, and so I really ripped through this. I think what we need to do – do you ever watch It's Always Sunny? Yes. Well, not recently. I'll be honest. There's an older episode where they like buy – they find a cop car at a junkyard and then they buy like – they get like cop suits or whatever and they're like driving around. But Charlie decides to go undercover, so he starts dressing like Al Pacino in Superco. But the end of the episode, he's like trying to get Frank and Dennis busted for being dirty cops. So he like tape records them,

and then he puts the tape inside like a manila envelope and just leaves it in front of the city hall. And he's like, there you go, mayor. And he like walks away. That's what we need to do. I'm going to down, I'm going to download one, all of our episodes onto a tape or not download.

They're going to think you're leaving like a bomb in front of the building, dude. Don't do that. But I'm going to put it in a manila envelope and then just drop it in front of Disney's headquarters. There you go. I think you're bombing them Don't do that

No then they would open it up and they would see it's just a tape You should just mail it That's even more like a bomb To mail it There's some places to mail things Just drop in a random Manila envelope in front of a building Well that's not

That's the joke Oh my god anyways all right so long story short fries is target practice for his brother so now he is uh going to be placed in front of the net to help reflections i loved the idea of this, but the way – The execution. The way he's deflecting is not how you – like you have a – It doesn't make any sense. You have a stick, bro. You deflect it with the fucking stick. No one –

He just throws his fucking hip into it. Yeah, and my – And he's – The shoulder. It doesn't matter. And he's legitimately – when they're showing him practices, he's standing inside the fucking net. He's, like, standing where the goalie would stand.

Yeah. I hated every second of that, too. It doesn't matter. Great idea, terrible execution. And then once again, same thing with the Smash siblings. There was not enough lead up to that. Not enough. And we already had the bash

sisters before you decided not to bring lauren back yeah so hard pass there nick also also also every every hit they do a spoiler alert every hit they do in this little montage and then throughout the rest of the season it's a penalty penalty 100 yeahty. 100%. Yeah. And poor Nick got fucking obliterated. That was awesome. That was great. And then this is round three where I hate this show more than anything. Coob wants to score. So we know we're going to get some stupid ass shit.

That was the other part of my notes where I just wrote, fuck off. Coob wants to score go go fuck yourself yeah just i all right so anyways what does he say he goes that that would be sideways right for a goalie to score yeah and then god damn it yeah and then sophie is now doing the new version of the knuckle puck that it barely moves and i just put i hate this show um and then they need to pick a captain sophie nominates jace after a little pushback everyone picks jace and oh god and then some real ducks came out did you get their names i just saw last name of terry and last name of zagras zagras so yeah there's trevor zagras who's on he's he's the dude on the cover of nhl 20 would this be 23

nhl 23 the video game nice uh yeah number 11 trevor zegras uh number 49 max jones and then yeah and the third guy is number 19 troy terry who went to the university of denver go pioneers oh nice shout out terry yeah but yeah they barely even talk they have the one line and i think it's Who went to the University of Denver to go Pioneers. Oh, nice. Shout out Terry. Yeah. But yeah, they barely even talk. They have the one line, and I think it's Jones. Mini ducks. I think Max Jones is the one who says, oh, look at the mini ducks.

Yeah. And then they just, yeah. And they don't show them teaching them anything. They're just kind of goofing around, having fun. Again, great idea. execution yep and then um and then they head back to camp because well they show jace having fun again but again but again we've done nothing to make us actually help him nothing i just just as the character in, there's nothing to make us like him. His character is the worst. Um,

and so Cole comes back and he's yelling at her for leaving campus. Did you pick a captain? It's Jace. What? Let me show you something. Sometimes you have to break the rules to get where you want to go. And then she shows Jace being happy and then he kisses Alex. And then we fucking don't give a shit.

And I say, i hate this show one last time in my notes and that's it would you finally get we almost made it we finally get the kiss though yeah all that all that build-up and that sexual tension i was i was waiting for it i was dying for it there's nothing i want nothing i wanted to see more than these two little fucking weirdos kiss yeah yeah and well because like in real life they're probably finishing that in the rv but in a kid's show they just went their separate ways jesus was that weird cut that out probably finishing it off in the RV. Okay.

Okay. Right? I know you agree with me. I don't know. I mean, he probably, why not? I feel like you would. Well, I don't know. I mean, he hasn't dated for a really long time.

I was going to say. It doesn't matter. The show's over. Are we done? Yeah. Yeah. I was going to say, maybe you go back to,'s over Are we done? I was going to say maybe you go back to Because he's got to have like a fucking suite Right? At the back of the dorm

He like lives there basically I don't know if you would bring it back there Because you've got to walk through all the kids Oh, one million percent You're not, because that's why they've got to keep there I'm surprised, well no surprise Anyways, it doesn't matter We'll talk about it in the next episode 100%. You're not, like, because that's why they got to keep their. I'm surprised. Well, no surprise. Anyways, it doesn't matter.

We'll talk about it in the next episode. Yeah, tune in next week or two weeks from now for all of the Josh Duhamel, Lauren Graham sex talk. thanks for listening everyone please remember to follow and like us on Instagram at TheCakeEatersPod, on Twitter at TheCakeEaters. Also reach out to us via email, TheCakeEatersPod at gmail.com or visit our website, TheCakeEatersPod.com.