The Cake Eaters - 53. Game Changers S2:E8 Trade Rumors

Episode Date: March 14, 2023

Heath & Brandon continue their breakdown of Season 2 Game Changers! On today's episode, they are talking through Episode 8 Trade Rumors. They discuss the swirling trade rumors that are permeating the EPIC facility, Toby's great dating advice, breezing through any actual hockey action, a breakdown of the world's worst trick play, Heath advocates for homeschooling, Brandon picks a fight with dog parks, and then they get ready for the EPIC championship showdown. Follow us at www.thecakeaterspod.com and on Twitter (@thecakeeaters) and Instagram (@thecakeeaterspod) Email us at [e-mail]

it's not worth winning if you can't win breaking news heath game changers season two episode eight trade rumors Breaking news, Heath. Game Changers, Season 2, Episode 8, Trade Rumors. We have lots of rumors swirling. Lots of deals being talked about. I believe even one deal went through. If I'm remembering correctly. Isn't that why Toby hands him the new roster sheet? I think Toby made a trade, right?

Isn't that what happened? I didn't pick up on that. Coach Toby? I think that's why. Because he handed Coach Tumel a roster sheet. Yeah, I thought he was just handing in his final roster and being creepy. I mean, Toby, he's a bit of a creep for sure. I do like his dating advice.

I'm implementing that on the next first date. It's just, what was it? Staring into their eyes for one minute without speaking. Uninterrupted eye contact, dude. God damn this show, dude. I know, it. I know. It's the worst. But, you know, rumor has it.

Rumor has it. That's lots of trade rumors. Should we rip into this, Brandon? Not just trade rumors in this episode. We also have some, well, I guess they're not really rumors, but some romance gossip is flying around camp you know we got a little bad flying around the institute not yeah we got a little bad romance nah nah nah nah i don't know if that's lady lady i just know some versions of lady gaga were in there i love how i love how marnie is 100 and in right away. No questions asked.

Yep. That's a true wingman right there. So this is how we kick off the episode. We jump into this. We got Marnie and Alex. And this is where Marnie should have been featured far more. To recap for everybody that's not following along, which why aren't you following along, you idiots? Idiots. Alex and Coach Cole kissed at the end of the last episode and then heath insinuated that they banged in the rv

i did i didn't know such thing brandon i have no idea what you're talking about i just mentioned that they would have finished the kiss in the r. In private. Rather than out in the open. Where they could have been caught. I don't know what you're insinuating. I don't think they would have been caught at the RV though. The RV is pretty far away from the Institute. First of all. We have seen.

In this episode. That people will wander far and wide. From this Institute. There is no lockdown lockdown and no one follows curfew the only people that are wandering to the rv are marnie because a she's got to get her steps in and then b she knows that's where the rendezvous same with toby the only reason toby is over there is because he's trying to spy on the date because he knows the dates over there oh toby's a real fucking creep we know what he's doing in the bushes like yikes um so but marnie and alex kick this off and marnie's like do you hate me i ratted you to coach cole

that's good stuff um and i love this line too where she's like you're a single mom and you need this job so desperately. And Alex is like, no, no, he's not going to fire me. And then she has the line at the end where she's like, I'm going to plan a dinner for you. I'll set it all up. All you need to do is wear a better bra. Yeah. I've wrote that down too.

Which again, who are we writing the show for? I know. That's like a joke for old ladies yeah oh man and it's the same issue as i think we talked about it last episode it's the same issue as last season where it's like nobody gave a shit about alex and bombay's love interest nobody cared nobody's gonna care about this love interest like it's just it's not it's not engaging it's not who you should be focusing on yes like why is it about how just uh it's annoying um and and marnie just caught oh this is a good marnie line too she knows they kissed because she's known him for many years and she's never seen him like that uh his words were charged with fire oh marnie fucking marnie she's the best man um and so then we we cut after that interaction yeah it's because marnie sets up a date it's gonna be a date by the rv little picnic under the stars The R&B Little Picnic Under the Stars. And then we cut to Toby coming into the office.

And he says, hey, coach, congrats on the tryst with Coach Alex. And this is where he hands him the roster sheet, which I'm assuming is where we've already picked captains. We're finalizing captains. The Ducks still haven't picked their captain. Or no, they did. They just did. Maybe that's what he was handing in is the captain thing but i figured if he was handing them a roster sheet this far in that he he probably made a trade or something could be it too you never know you know

um but uh he's he lets him know marnie let the cat out of the bag um you know coach cole's nervous about uh that first date and i'm just surprised that this weird creep is the one he's going to for dating advice but it's neither here nor there um and he gives advice to you know leave a trail of rose petals to a recreational vehicle i don't remember the rest but it's's just. That was the main. Yeah. Leave a trail of rose petals to her recreational vehicle. Yeah. Oh, God. And then, and then coach Cole is like, all right, I got to go.

And he's like, this is your office. So, so that was that interaction. And then they, we cut to the team pictures and we get team perseverance who, I don't know if you took a peek at these people, but they looked at the very least 50. Oh, I wasn't paying attention enough. Oh my God.

Team. I just, I kind of like glance. I was like, Oh, was that an old man? Someone with gray hair was in the front row i just i don't know if it was maybe the coach but like the coach but ducks and dominate neither of the coaches

jumped in there with the team so like no other coaches jumped in the team so like you have to go back and check that out like they looked fucking 50 i was trying to remember who the coach of team perseverance is but i don't think we know them because uh the the the snl girl is team hustle um jack Jackie was team. What was the, what was the one that started with an eye inspiration? I don't know. It doesn't matter. All I'm saying is that the people and team intention, team intention,

that's Jackie accountability was the weird ginger focus. I think it's Toby, right? Yes. So, yeah, that's one of the the one of the coaches we didn't we didn't really get to know very well so anyways doesn't matter it's probably it's probably the coach i'm gonna say it's the coach all right but the the dude next to the coach with gray hair and it's the only team where the coach was in the picture oh maybe that's right maybe it wasn't the coach then maybe we're forged birth certificates like the little league world series yeah i don't know either either way um we we move over there we go that's that's another that's a spinoff like a like a mockumentary

about forged birth certificates to get into the epic ice center the elite performance ice center dude see we got so many great ideas they need to just hire us we could expand we have so many ideas to expand the mighty duck universe we got the trinidad and tobago movie we got the trinidad and tobago movie has to get made we have the possible then we have the the winnie beer League at the Ice Palace spinoff. We got this mockumentary about the epic. Exactly, yeah. And you have a couple of the – like you got Fulton in there. He's a regular on that one.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Dude, we got – we could – Portman's an alcoholic. Yeah. It would be subtle. You're not going to – we're're not gonna call it out you know yeah until until like season five and then we have an intervention episode yeah yeah like portman is just always sloppy

um all right so we cut to team dominate is taking their AJ's like, this guy almost died a hypo to get the C. He's loco, but much respect. Him and Evan. Dude, see, this is where we need more AJ. Because AJ went from Evan's all right to once he proved himself to be the captain, his best buds, dude. He was all in on Evan. Yeah.

Because he knows they can win and he knows that he cannot you know like your your top performer is not always your best leader brandon you know corporate america listen up but uh but yeah we need we needed we needed more aj at the at the beginning of the season we needed more especially because you have he he was roommates with kube and we got what like two scenes of that like and that would have been a second scene a lot of golden scenes there like we could have done so much with that but you know what we did instead we are focusing on two stupid fucking adults and their little will they won't they dance that no one wants again they have that's the frustrating part is they have a lot of great ideas that they just don't capitalize

on they don't see through yep anyways all right so um marnie um figured out that to Toby knows and so talking about fixing up the dinner Friday night when it's movie night. Well, Marnie didn't figure Marnie is the one who told Toby. She didn't figure out. Oh, well, whatever. It's all Alex. Alex finds out that Toby knows. Oh, that's what it was. I had a typo because Coach

Cole is like, well, she goes up to Coach Cole and is like, so Marnie knows and Coach Cole is like, yeah, she already fucking told everybody yeah dumb idiot and then uh but then when it's friday hockey movie night that's when they're gonna dip out for their date and then we get uh ducks picture time and the official picture is just them being super silly and Jace being on lead guitar. And the photographer says, I'd ask you to do a fun one, but I'd be afraid to see what that looks like. Yeah. Classic.

And Nick and Sam are asking. They see Evan with that C on his chest, and they're like, whoa, Big Ev kicking ass, taking names. And then they let him know that Jace is captain and Evan is jealous as hell about all of it. Jace being captain, getting the girl,

them going to the Honda Center. Yep. Finds out they kissed too, right? That's the scene too. Yep. Yep. Found out they kissed. right that's that's the scene yeah yeah found out they kissed his world evan's world is crumbling yep not not only did his his his ex-girlfriend kiss another dude his mom kissed another dude too yeah um i did like he's the only one not getting any action here yeah dude hockey is his girlfriend now and he's getting plenty of action on the ice that's right that's my bad i forgot i forgot about that yep exactly but you know that c on his chest it doesn't always stand for captain brandon you know what else it

stands for what charisma according to nick that's what he said that's right what is you you threw me off because there's uh there's a scene in d3 where when coach orion first shows up and he's talking to charlie and he's like what's that c stand for sure as hell ain't captain so he threw me off geez what did it say what did he think it stand for if it wasn't captain like clown clown or maybe charlie or conway i think coach orion was just trying to prove a point that he hadn't named a captain yet so charlie's not the captain you know well you'll you'll you'll we'll get to d3 and you'll you'll see the the greatness of coach orion my boy who should have been who should have been in the last episode spirit of the next two. We won't talk about that.

We won't even get into it, but I'm getting, I'm getting heated again. I'm getting, yep. Yep. So what we are going to get into is our stretch run of round Robin play. And I got to say, speaking of eyes in being on the,

speaking of getting heated again, I have in my notes, here's fucking rich again. Dude, I have in my notes, here's fucking Rich again. Dude, I never – it's so weird that he's on the mic for this. It makes no fucking sense. It's so weird. Especially – again, I know I've said this every single time we bring up Rich Eisen, but it makes absolutely zero sense. It makes even zero sense.

And it makes even less sense when you think about you have fucking MJ to do this. Yes. And Rich Eisen has a very – he does not need money or a gig that bad. I wonder how much they paid him for these. Oh, my God. Because I guarantee you – because it's either him alone in the booth or him and Nick in the booth throughout the whole season. Not to spoiler everybody, but he's never – so I guarantee you he showed up for one day. Yep. If that, probably half a day, knocked out all these scenes and then was gone

i guarantee you they paid they paid him a fucking shit ton of money to do it yeah i don't know but him being on the mic is weird um and it's made even weirder when he starts commenting on the the inner middle school drama that's going on like drives the level the level of detail and how does he know this how does he know this who's who's his source is it nick it's got to be nick it's got to be nick right nick's feeding him notes under the door either nick or marnie are like giving him this detailed does marnie does marnie know though i marnie would make sense but i don't know if she knows because this is like intricate level detail i don't know it's gotta be stupid it is so stupid they should have and then it's and then so not only does he he comments on the inner working

but then he always follows it up with i don't know why i know that you don't know either rich yeah it's it's not it's it's whoever wrote that in as like oh just hilarious how funny is this rich knows all this detail and then he comments of i don't know how i know this my god who's in that writing room it's the it's the husband wife i'm telling you it's it's that could you imagine us being in that writing room when they like came up with that we were like are you what why are we yeah why are we pointing out our own joke you know yeah like that that makes it not funny like like you suck you could write the the most hilarious joke in the world and then if you follow it up with uh well uh isn't that funny, guys? It's not funny.

Anyways, all right. Poor Rich, though. Poor Rich. Because I feel bad because I tear into Rich. It's not Rich's fault. It's the showrunner's fault. It's the producer's fault. It's the writer's fault.

Because A, they should have never cast him. But if I'm Rich Eisen and they come to me with this idea, I'm saying yeah because why not? It's a funny – and it's an extra paycheck. So no blame to Rich Eisen, but it makes no sense for him to be there. It's just frustrating, especially because you got MJ and friend of the program, Terry, Mark Chavez. They were already filling this role. You didn't need to, you know, you didn't, you didn't, you didn't need it. There's a lot of things in this season where it's just like, we don't,

we don't need that, you know? Yeah. Anyways, let's rip through this a little bit more. So we get, I got, I have scores. I have, I have scores and teams they're playing right so first game is duck ducks against focus so we're playing toby coach toby yeah we get uh do you want me to rip through this real quick yes do it fast so we get a sophie goal right right off the bat real quick all of this is like real quick boom boom boom boom we're why waste time showing hockey in a hockey show? Boom, boom, boom. Yeah.

Fries gets a deflection, makes a case for an entree. Yeah. Fries gets a goal deflection from a Maya shot. And then in between those two goals, they show the smash siblings committing an egregious penalty. Yeah. But then so Mighty Ducks win 3-1 against Team Focus. And then, boom, right on to the next game. Team accountability.

We get a Sophie goal with the assist from Fries. Fries is fucking crushing it, dude. Yep. And then, so that game, the Ducks beat Team Accountability 4-2. Nice. Then, boom, cut to the next game. Why waste any time here? Team Endurance, Mighty Ducks.

Fries gets a goal. He's fucking MVP. Killing. You know what jersey number he's wearing. I think we talked about this in the previous episode. He's wearing double zero. Oh. Guy Germain, bro.

Love that. So they're team accountability or we did that one team endurance fries gets a goal from sophie ducks win three to two so a little closer that time okay nice then boom next one we're playing team perseverance the 50 year olds right um and this is when rich comments on jace and Sophie being a couple. They kissed. Again, why does he know this? We get a Sophie knuckle puck goal right as time expires. The rare walk-off knuckle puck. Ugh, God.

It's no worse. We beat Team Perseverance 4-3. And that sets us up. That gets us into the semifinals we had our win streak that we needed to get us to the semifinals now we're in the semifinals and again why waste any time with the actual hockey of this let's boom boom boom cut through it right so semifinals game playing team hustle we get and we know dominate are headed to the finals right before they play team hustle we just see the dominate they showed them beating somebody um just handily i think i forget i forget but yeah so they're that was their semi-finals game they're onto the the

championship yep and so during this during the ducks hustle semi-final games we get um again another penalty from the smash siblings right and then we get just the one of the dumbest scenes i've ever seen in my entire life this makes the flying v look amazing this what what are they what are they the goose is loose play you know what and i hate this i hate the name so much the name is terrible already because you know what a goose is not it's not a goddamn duck and i i thought the exact same thing i'm like it just i that would be like that would be like if you were the lions and you had a, you had a play called, I can't think of anything that would rhyme. But if you had a play called the tiger. Stripes.

Play called stripes. Or wildebeest. Yeah. I, and, and, and just the goob going honk honk. And then. Oh, it made no no it made no sense a because they just started a doggy pile on the behind the goal which makes no sense for the other team to all five of them converge behind the goal and then they get pushed down that's a penalty right away

for sure and then a he hits his honk honk and somebody somehow just like slides the puck to him which i'm pretty sure it was a hand pass right or did they use this i i don't know i didn't even it just was so how how do all 10 players end up behind the net in a dog pile it makes no that would never ever ever happen in the history of the world. And then Coob, who we know. Can't skate. Just learned how to skate, is outstripping every top level junior hockey player in the United States that is at this elite camp on the way. Let me remind you, their team name is hustle as well and there's got these guys are hustling 10 there's 10 fucking seconds left on the clock

while this is all unfolding yeah so so so every everybody they pile everybody up behind kube the kubes net he yells honk honk and somebody slides him the puck in front so he grabs it he skates all the way down to the other end of the ice where the other goalie is somehow gets a rips it five hole somehow rips a wrister past the goalie and they win four to three that was legitimately like if you're if you haven't watched this if you're not like watching along you're just listening with us um watch this scene because it will just it will destroy everything i i wrote i hate my life after after you scored i was like i really really really hate this show it it just it it is so it's like they've it's so much more egregious than the flying v it's so much more

egregious than the knuckle punk like what you have to it's like they've never actually been to a hockey game it's never like they've never watched a hockey game in their whole entire lives and then wrote a hockey show and like i'm not sitting here saying i'm a hockey expert by any means i watch hockey during the playoffs i am a you know i just hopped on that abs bandwagon after i moved to denver because i didn't have a hockey team and now i watch the playoffs every year so i watch i watch like legitimately every single avalanche game and then i watch although half season ticket holder to the ghost pirates i'm a real fucking hockey guy now in a stadium full of southern hockey fans i'm a hockey guy but like i watch i watch hockey constantly all the time

i watch all the abs games i watch other teams games as well with that being said i never played hockey so again i watch it all the time i don't know all that like i i know i would say i know more than the average fan but i definitely don't know anywhere near what people who actually played it now yeah and that being said like the the the only explanation and with these movies like these kind of sports movies you have to suspend your disbelief a little bit for like the flying v or the knuckle puck um but that like that's really as far as should ever go is those level of like this is just this was just so goddamn egregious yeah it was like i was just making it yeah it was you could you like you like you said you could tell the people that wrote this scene whoever it was if it was the the normal writer seems or if it was maybe it was josh out of josh dmell whoever it was i don't know never watched uh i've never watched hockey Don't know how any of it works.

This is believable. This made, and I know this is going to offend you, but this made a dog participating in scoring in a youth basketball game. Seem realistic. That's oh, dude. Yeah.

This makes air bud look like a documentary. It's unbelievable. It's unbelievable. It's un-fucking-believable. All right. So now I think we can officially rip through the rest of this. This episode is going to be real short because this episode was so bad. I didn't know anything good about this episode. The hockey was terrible. It was quick. And it was so bad like there was well and i didn't know anything good about this episode like the hockey was terrible it was so quick yeah it was just a whole bunch of quick hits

through a game where they did they just everything that they did last episode in the hockey arena they just did in a unrealistic fashion in the finish of the round robin into the finals yeah and that's and again we we blew through so this this was my problem with last season as well this is a hockey show right yeah the main the main point of the hockey show we went through in five minutes we went through we went through half the season in less than half an episode just quick like that's that's unbelievable and like i don't mind sophie doing the knuckle puck but just why did they do it that way i'm 100 okay with sophie doing the knuckle puck only if keen Keenan or Russ is the one who taught her. You can't have Alex teaching them the knuckle puck.

And you can't change it, right? You can't suddenly... That absolutely bugs me because of the continuity. There's no continuity. It's not a knuckle puck if it's a completely different shot well it's not a completely different shot it's just moving differently which i mean brandon the original again suspension of disbelief here he's and you would think like that's it just bugs me like it's if we're suspending the disbelief already because it's an unrealistic shot why did they try to make

it look more realistic and make it look so much worse in the process like you said a heat seeking missile puck is is the weirdest shot ever i i will say i don't like the way they showed it like i don't like the the new way they have it going. But I'm not mad that they changed how it looks. Like I'm okay with them changing it, but they changed it to something stupid. That's why I have a problem. Not that they changed it. Why change it if you're going to do something stupid?

Well, I get changing it because that's the beauty of the knuckle puck though is that it's different. You can't – it's different every single time. And from one person to another, it's going to be completely different. Knuckle different? Yeah. It's going to be completely different. That's the beauty of the knuckle puck or the knuckle ball in baseball is you can't predict where it's going to go because it's different every single time but again like i'm okay with them doing whatever what they did like changing it having sophie do it i'm good with all that as long as russ is the one who

fucking taught her you can't have somebody else teach the knuckle puck especially when that someone doesn't has never doesn't know anything about hockey or life or parenting. Oh, boy. It's just – it's rough business. I just – I don't know. There's nothing to say. Like this – anyways, it doesn't matter. So we're done.

I really hope this is one of those things because I have been doing it since we started critiquing everybody's parenting styles. This is one of those things where if I ever do have a child, I better be the best fucking parent in the world or I'm going to look like a goddamn asshole. I mean, I – best fucking period in the world or i'm gonna look like a goddamn asshole i mean i like you know if like i i if i if we if we fast forward like 10 years from now and i like you know so i've like completely botched parenting people are gonna pull this back up and be like brandon that's not so easy is it that's on you i just i feel like you know you're you're in this too you you you're in this too sir oh 100 but like the only way that your kid is i'm not the only one given giving out best parenting awards here listen brandon i'm not fighting this at all i'm telling

you right now that like the only way your kid like the american school system has, has been failing for decades and it was, are you saying I should homeschool? Yes. Like teach your own kid because my God, it just, it's, and then, and then,

and then like find a structured schedule to help socialize them like a dog. And, and, and that is so much better than like they're just they're not even i don't even know what's happening and i will i will say i probably i'm probably not going to homeschool them but dude the the american educational system was on life support when we were going through it like it has not gotten better and they keep and teacher pay has gotten worse so it's just you know i will say i will say i don't think i don't think having my viewpoint the only one that

that kid hears would be a good thing you know yeah well you'd have to like you know bring in some tutors or something there's programs brandon and like that sounds that sounds expensive and they do like like you know rich people in seattle and the pandemic did like little learning pods and stuff for their kids oh where they would just have a select group of people there there is socialize there is not a goddamn chance in the world that I would homeschool with other parents. Are you crazy? Like a learning pod with other parents? No.

Not a goddamn chance. Could you imagine super crunchy Washington parents? Dude, I can't even go to dog parks anymore because I hate how other people talk talk to and interact with with their own dogs like i can't that's the worst wait what wait wait wait wait so because um kelly jokes like i and i we have private school dogs like they don't go to dog parks they just they just stay at their home school our dogs are homeschooled um so please explain to me how people are talking to their dogs at the dog park dog owners are my like my least favorite thing in the world there there's like there's there's certain types of them that drive like the one that it's like i i don't have kids i have my best

friend and it's my dog yeah there's that one the they rescued me i didn't rescue them the ones that drive me crazy is when you if you so you you're you brought your dog to a dog park like an off-leash dog park they start playing with the other dogs right and dogs play they play rough you know yeah but you can if you just read fucking body language um it's very easy to tell when they're having fun and when they're not dogs are not like skid it or i'm trying to think of it dogs are not liars they will tell you when they're not having fun you know um you can usually tell by the tail yeah yeah the the tail. Pretty easy sign. But my least favorite ones are you brought your dog to an off-leash dog park, right?

They start playing with another dog and you think it's – you – like the ones that jump in way too soon to like break up a scuffle or whatever. It's like you can tell pretty quickly whether the with body language and everything like let your dog be a goddamn dog or just don't bring him to the dog park. If you don't want him to like rough around. And that's also why I don't take him to the dog park because Jenkins would want that so fucking bad. Yeah, just like it because he thinks he is the size of Flapjack and like will play like he is the size of flapjack and like will play like he's the size of flapjack yeah and well see and that's that's that's the other thing is the size of flapjack that's the other reason i stopped that's the reason i run into those people so often is because flapjack is fucking huge um but he's like he's not gonna fuck your dog up he's friendly but to somebody who doesn't know him he's a big scary dog because he's like a 110 pound he looks like a german shepherd he's

more of a lab though but he's he looks to somebody honest who doesn't know him he looks scary right like it's like like like pitbulls like pitbulls are i've never come across like an angry pitbull but it you know i there's one here that when it walks by me sometimes they'll like lick my leg It's like pit bulls. Pit bulls are – I've never come across like an angry pit bull. But it does – No, there's one here that when it walks by me, sometimes it will like lick my leg when it walks by. It's very adorable. There's definitely some out there. Like with any breed of dog, there's aggressive ones out there. Well, it's usually because the owner is –

Yes, exactly. But so those owners drive me crazy um the other ones that i mean you don't really run into at dog parks all that often um because it's like there's so many dogs there but the the i i ran into there was one at the market uh one of the markets uh all three of the work so it was another person that like had to have lived by like nearby okay market because they came all three weekends i would see them like in the morning walk and it was this dude who had like a siberian husky and he would walk through the little alley where the market is um with the dog off leash um and the dog was it was fairly well trained but not quite trained well enough to leave it off

leash in the middle of a really busy alley like there's just too many distractions going on into the dogs training wasn't quite there yet yeah so it would just it would get distracted and wander off and he just like sit there and like come here come here you know just going on too long but the thing that that didn't drive me crazy I had no problem with that because the dog was super friendly. It wasn't aggressive or anything. It's not like doing anything.

It's just getting distracted and wandering off. But the thing he did that drives me fucking up the wall is when people have their dog and they like – whether it's off leash or on leash or whatever. But they're like – you don't know this person. You're just – you're inhabiting the same area. They will purposely like lead their dog close to you and then they start talking to the dog loudly so that you can hear it. Essentially they're trying to bait you into a conversation about their dog. Like look how cool my fucking dog is. You want to talk about my dog?

And it's like, dude, no. Nobody wants – just keep fucking moving. Nobody wants to talk about my dog? And it's like, dude, no, nobody wants, just keep fucking moving. Nobody wants to talk about your dog. If I wanted to ask you a question about your dog, I would ask you a goddamn question about your dog. Oh, I try to not make eye contact. Oh, see me walking my dog. Well, cause like, you know, Jenkins in part, in particular, you know, he, he gets, he gets, he gets, when when when eyes lock in and like now and it's fine but now i'll be walking i'll just hear i have my headphones and i'll just hear can i pet mister

can i pet your dog like three kids like sprinting down the sidewalk to catch up and like if they and i always have to like warn him too i'm like all right just don't come in too hot you'll scare him because like jenkins he just you know they just come in a little too hot but if they're like nice like he'll he'll be friendly with them and it's fine but i tell i tell people no when they ask like i like far jack is he's super friendly if anything he gets too excited and he wants to like he wants to to – Jump and play. Well, that's what he does. One time I was like – when I was back living in Atlanta, I was like walking him around the neighborhood and these three like kids. It was like a – I don't know, like a 12-year-old, like an 8-year-old, and then like a little one, like a 4- or 5-year-old. Yeah.

And they came – they were like playing in the driveway and I was walking by and they were like, oh, can we pet your dog? And I was like, yeah, sure. Like you said like just you know go in easy let him sniff you out a little bit and the little like five-year-old came like jaunting up and flapjack just like like jumped to like like when he say hi just like say hi and just fucking knock the five-year-old over and like the five-year-old did like a little tumble like on the on the street like the the pavement um and so after that i was i tell people no i'm like no no no you can't pet my dog he's he's he gets excited yeah he's i even got like i bought i bought a new harness for him for uh for christmas and i got um like a bunch of little

velcro things where it's like do not pet i put those all over it i was like i'm not nice yeah don't do it stay away from my dog josie is the worst in the exact opposite way where she will park it directly in the middle of the sidewalk so that the individual walking by us has no choice but to walk so close to her that she can at least tap them with her nose and you know usually if people that it's just she wants and so she will get a head scratch or two and she'll wag her tail but she will literally stop in the middle of the sidewalk to block people. And just, she doesn't want like not too long. Cause if they stay in pet or too long, she'll come and run, like walk behind me. Um, and, and hide, but she wants to just a quick little like bump of the nose investigation, maybe a little quick scratch, but she will just, yeah, she'll stand right in the middle.

Give them the least amount of room as possible so she can get a quick sniff flapjack whenever i have people over flapjack he's a big fan of um here he's i should say he's not a huge fan of personal space so like what like when i have people over or he does it with my with my with my dad all the time when my dad's like laying on sitting on the couch he'll like hop on the couch and lay like perfectly on top like you're like lean on you lay perfectly on top of you and just sit there and like stare at you till you pet him and it's like okay and then like if you're petting him if you stop petting him he'll like pick his head up and be like like stare at you and be like what

the fuck do you stop for dude do you remember when puppy flapjack met jenkins and josie and jenkins loved him and followed him around everywhere and josie wanted to murder him the entire time he was at the house flapjack was the worst goddamn puppy dude he was and josie could not even tolerate him anywhere near her orbit yeah and the cat the poor cat was like traumatized under the bed yeah he just gets he gets too excited he just wants to be like in everybody's face like the little five-year-old that he almost killed um he just wants to be in your space all the time and when he was a puppy he was so mouthy he would just like he wouldn't like not like like a an aggressive bite but he would just like put whatever in his mouth so like you'd go to pet him and he'd just put your whole hand in his mouth

yeah and that's when he had like the sharp ass fucking puppy teeth yeah yeah thank god i i finally like it took a couple months but i finally got that out out of him he's not he's not mouthing anymore thank god because that was the worst because you'd be like he's a little big for yeah and you'd be like walking and he's like a herding dog. He'd start like nipping at your ankles and it's like, no, dude. A quick message from our friends at Broken Forest Collective. Built on a passion for small batch and handcrafted products, Broken Forest provides high-quality casual wear and lifestyle goods that are American-made

and built to outlast the fast fashion trends. They also plant a tree in Boulder, Colorado for every product sold. Visit brokenforestco.com and use the code CAKEATERS15 for 15% off your order. I got us a little derailed. Let's dig back into this terrible episode. So we have the post-finals deciding game meeting in the hallway where we have AJ and Evan running into coob sam and nick um and we get you know evan's like oh hey coob do you need to go into the room and do anything and coob's like no it's chill and then he's like well actually what if we did a little roommate swap so that the ducks will fly together and the dominate can exercise in their

room together and you know you could tell brandon nick didn't or not nick but evan didn't want it because he liked coming back and neither did neither did nick they were both they were both opposed to it oh but nick that's and you know i get this but he just does not want to deal with that confrontation well and it's it seems to be a pattern it's definitely a pattern he needs to have some some more what do they call them thunder chats yeah some more thunder chats because it's going right um but but so they do that they do the swap but did you notice this um nick had like three fairly decent sized wet spots on his hoodie i didn't notice that yeah yeah larry their stains are wet spots and i was like what are the odds that right before they shot this scene

he accidentally spilled like some gatorade or something on his hoodie at the snack stand. And they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fine. It's in character.

Just keep it. It'll make it look real. Yeah. Cause I noticed it right away. I was like, Oh, his hoodie is stained. He's doing his own laundry now.

So maybe you didn't have that stain. He said he had a stain stick though nick has the stain stick yeah that's what i'm saying and nick had the stains on his hoodie oh it was oh i thought we were talking about evan my bad my bad no no yeah it was nick's uh green ducks hoodie had three spots on it two or three spots on it i didn't notice that at all i'll have to go back and check but yeah but yeah definitely now that i realized you were talking about nick not evan it's definitely in character then for sure yeah makes sense um so then we see evan is sad unpacking and he sees his ducks jersey and he gets double sad as he's sad unpacking and then we get our buddy aj and he says hey why don't we go hit a 10 mile run before bed?

Because then you're going to dream about running. You're going to keep that heart rate up in your sleep. And Evan says, no, thank you. But you sure keep feeding that beast. And then the next line is the best line. Am I thinking of the right scene where he's like running away and he goes man you say some cool captain stuff we needed more aj aj needed to be featured more in the beginning because he's it what the lines are giving him are pretty fucking fantastic and the dude who's playing him connor the wolf is executing him crushing it yeah um and

and as he watches him jog down the hallway he sees those ducks you know having fun and playing playing some fucking dumb ass game yeah that's that threw me off that's like a weird kid game that you play when you're just trying to pass the time i understood the game because they were just they were like rolling it or throwing it to the wall and whoever was closest to the wall wins but the way so that i got i got the game but the way they reacted to it like the both of them threw it and then like all five of them that were around there like fucking screamed they got so happy that i was like why is why is everybody cheering yeah well it really threw me for a loop that they got so fucking excited for

because that was just that was just one throw i'm assuming they're gonna keep playing right are you gonna do that after every throw it's called sportsmanship and teamwork brandon and when one person wins on the ducks they all win whatever so whatever think about that I got I got nothing left to give this this show um and so to make this even better for you Brandon we then cut to alex and evan and in your favorite parental relationship alex is evan is complaining to his mom about how sad he is and instead of just listening and digesting and letting him kind of you know just get it all about out of his system alex immediately turns around to take action to try and fix her baby boy's sex.

It's like the number one rule when you're listening to somebody vent or complain or air their grievances or whatever. The key immediately during the conversation, the key is to just listen, right? Yeah. You don't, you know, if you, if you have ideas on how to like solve the problem or whatever, give it a little time to just,

just date, right? That's, that's the right word, right? Just date. Well, I don't know,

whatever. I think that's right. If not, whatever, fuck it. Who cares? No one cares about this show. But you let it, you, you let it you you let it you know you

the your immediate action should not be well this is how you fix it let me fix it for you that kind of shit like that's nobody wants that it wasn't even it wasn't even this is how you fix it it was just let me fix this for you because what she should have done is double down on nick's advice and been like all right go big or go home bro like you're you're in this now you your friends aren't gonna go away forever they on the on the ride home the four-day ride home in that rickety ass rv you are going to make enough you're going to make enough memories that they are going to forget about all this shit and if they don't fuck them yeah like you're you're probably gonna go to different high schools in

minneapolis anyways and never see each other again yeah you know so anyway whatever it's evan's got a shot for eden hall there's no way There's no way fucking Koob's getting into Eden Hall, though. That's for sure. Absolutely not. Sophie, definitely. She's a lock. She's probably on scholarship. Oh, yeah.

They've probably got her all cinched up. Rolling out the red carpet. I bet you that's where her brother went, Eden Hall. No, he went to Harvard, dude. Wait, that was in the... Eden Hall is not a university, you goddamn whore. Harvard, dude. We talked about it. Eden Hall is not a university. You got.

Oh, sorry. Sorry. He went to Harvard after Eden Hall. Yeah. Sorry. Don't talk to me like that, Brandon. It was an accident. This show has just messed me up. All right.

Where were we? Oh, OK. So they're terrible parenting again. Yep. All right. Where were we? Oh, okay. Terrible parenting again. Yep. And then it's her and what's-his-butt talking about, you know, maybe they do a little trade, Evan, for Jace so that Josh Duhamel can fix Jace's shot and Evan can go be with his buddies again and so they're saying hey maybe we just floated out to the kids and so then after that

we cut over to sophie and jace practicing um and they're they're trying to get his shot going. But my God, Jace is a disaster. And so he just walks away. Yeah. And so that was it. Yep. The little kiss they shared did not fix the yips. Nope. Nope.

But after that, it cuts up to his dad watching him fix his shot. And Toby, always creeping up from behind, comes in and says, Hmm, mysterious creatures women are. This is when he gives him the one minute of uninterrupted eye contact, right? I got this too. He says, they like to know your presence. So I sit for a full minute and look straight in the eye and don't say a word he said he says they like to know your present not your present your present sorry they like to know that you're there that's why he does the uninterrupted eye

contact to show him i'm here i'm listening all you. So your next two to three hinge dates, will you try this and see if it works? Sure. Okay. Report back to the pod. Report it back to the pod. I'll let you know. No introduction. Just one full minute of uninterrupted does he does it to marnie

late spoiler alert does it to marnie later on in the episode yeah he doesn't he doesn't tell her about it he just just boom sits down eye contact ready to go yeah locked in and my god she was she was into it too marnie was all about it, dude. Well, it's Marnie Wood. Marnie Wood. Well, that's the kind of girls I'm trying to find. I'm trying to find some Marnies, you know? Okay. All right.

Well, you got a chance then, Brandon. That's how you weed them out is you do the eye contact. And if they got an issue with that, hit the fucking bricks. Oh, my God. All right. contact and if they they got an issue with that hit the fucking bricks oh my god all right so then uh then we cut over what who do we cut over to is this the is this evan and and coach cole is that next uh no for um cole coach cole is walking away and and he overhears him go up to Marty and say, hey, you know, can you make a. Oh, that's right. Like the jersey swaps. He hears them telling her to put the order in.

That's right. And so then he goes storming on up to his mom and says, why are you dressed like that? And then why did you trade Jace for me? Yeah. Which I, yeah. Why are we. Again, she's trying to solve all of his problems for him instead of with him. And it's.

She didn't, if she would have listened, she would have just heard that he was just bummed that like it was one or the other this summer. And he should have been doubly bummed that his mom helped create this divide between the ducks and the camp. Yeah. So. Yeah. She is the reason that everybody thinks it's all or nothing. And it's impacting him the most. Yeah, absolutely.

So whatever. It's Alex sucks. And so then Evan storms off and then we get Coach Cole and Evan. But before he storms off, Jace comes up. And that's what he tells Jace, too. He's like, oh, hey, by the way, our parents are assholes, and they're trading us for each other. And then the Ducks, rightfully so, get mad at Alex.

Yeah. Because they just had that whole vibe going. And Alex, selfish, inconsiderate, selfish. I've said it a million times. Ugh. Hater. And, like, not in the good way. It's not like I love to hate her.

Yeah, it's not like Goldberg. Like, I love to hate Goldberg. I like how you love to hate Stephanie last year. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Stephanie. I miss Stephanie, too. Yeah. And the twins.

Double trouble. Double trouble. All right, so. And Lauren, we lost so many. Hopefully, some of the people we lost come back for season three. We need Stephanie back. I would have loved for. Hopefully, this doesn't make it to a season three.

I don't know if I can do another season. They have to. Do you think so? They have to. Salvage it somehow? Only if they can get Bombay back. If you can get Bombay back, you do a season three and that's it. You got to end it with the season three and you got to go all out.

Yeah. Yeah. I agree. This season was useless. garbage useless you would have been better off not doing anything than doing this season just canceling it coming back for season two in 2024 yeah or just ending it all together like it would have been it's fine yeah it was a it was a not the it was a fine ending last time and that would have been enough to walk away it would it would have been good enough to walk away with with because he

bombay got the name back you know yeah it would have been perfectly at least had to feel good yeah it would have been perfectly fine to end it right there so anyways we've got um coach cole and evan hanging out and coach cole's like, hey, don't make hockey your whole life. Jace is different. He's good. You're not. He gives just a flawless pep talk. Flawless. So Jace is a lot better than

you so he can dedicate his whole life to hockey. You should start thinking about other stuff because there's a limit. Because you got a ceiling, bro. You got a ceiling. And guess what? You're at it. Hit that glass ceiling real quick and there's no shadows that might be a cement floor that you've just hit buddy well ceiling ceiling well no he's hit his cement floor floor of the next he started in the basement and he moved up to the cement floor of the first level but yeah i i wrote that down in my notes i was like solid pep talk

dude solid just right right right before the championship game too you know it's just yeah you're captain you're you're like hey dude you you suck this is come here captain i know you i know you're a good trier you know i appreciate being a good trier, but you need to try something else. This is like, it's about like Coach Riley being like, hey, so your dad just died not too long ago. So you better fucking make this goal. Yeah, don't let your dead dad down. Yeah.

He's going to be wildly disappointed in you as a human if you miss this goal not long after he perished in a tragic accident. He's going to roll over in his grave. Yeah. You little bastard. Don't let your dead dad down. Great. That's fantastic life advice.

Yeah. All right. all right so um then we then we move to the date and we have alex saying hey you got the jerseys printed the kids are mad at us we're supposed to float the idea you stupid bastard yeah well what happened to floating the idea yeah like what the actual fuck is wrong with you um you know cart before the horse scenario but then we get marnie coming out she's delivering a dinner we've got um a chicken breast and a salad with a raspberry vinaigrette sauce i believe she says it is that how she says it yeah yeah she said and then she tried saying fagotia brand and i've caught warm fagotia brand

marnie she's the best but yeah so we get so alex is pissed because she's like hey we're supposed to float the idea not not just jump for it. Now, now they hate me. Yep. And Alex is like, Hey, guess who read the coaching manual just in time at the end of camp. Once again, Bombay disciple.

Why do it at the beginning? Do it at the end. Oh God. Yeah. But yeah, she finally reads it and she says, I can veto the trade. Yeah. She does. Rejected. Boom., and she says, I can veto the trade.

So she does. Rejected. Boom. Rejected. Chris Paul to the Lakers. See you later, David Stern says. I don't think there's a hockey version of that, is there? Of the league rejecting a trade? No.

Yeah. I don't think so. Like the league stepping in to block a trade? I don't think so. I don't think so either. the league stepping in to block a trade. I don't think so. I didn't think so. Not that I could think of. Just some ugly, ugly, ugly lockouts. Just some real ugly lockouts between the NHL and the players union.

Yeah. I mean, the NBA is headed for one pretty soon here, too. Oh, I can't wait. It's going to be an absolute dumpster fire. It's going to be great to watch. I mean, yeah, that's what happens when you put CP3 in charge of stuff. You know, you got millionaires fighting with billionaires and just get out your popcorn because we are going to hit ludicrous speed because it's going to get real silly. I hate everyone.

But you know who I don't hate And I always thought Kale McCarr was Going to be my favorite abs player But I also really like Rantanen Because I his you know How can you not love that last name Butchered that last name What did I say like a midwesterner Yeah you pronounced every single syllable Yeah Rantanen

It's Rantanen Oh no no no Rantanin is so much better i bought a shirt just because of that his name is like kelly i really like this rantanin guy his name is miko rantaninen not rantanen that's amazing though that's amazing that was yeah that was the most midwestern way you could have pronounced his his finnish last name is but yeah he's my second favorite apps player he's good he's the only one that's not hurt right now i know i know and my my uh futures bet for mckinnon to win the heart trophy is not looking super super nice at the moment but uh we're pretty much at the end.

Alex and Coach Cole, they have a tiff because of the way everything went down. And Coach Cole. Okay, hold on. Did you hear him say that she showed up late with a bag of fries to their fucking date, their picnic date? No, he was talking about the first day of camp. Oh, I thought she showed up late to the date with a bag of fries. I was like, good God. No, this is I was so over this at the end of the episode.

I was kind of barely paying attention because he's talking about how there's no way the Ducks can win because team dominate is great. Yeah. And they're the best team at the camp. And she says something like, oh, the camp that we're also at, that we're also in the championship game for. And then he says, oh, you mean the camp that you showed up like 40 minutes late with a bag of fries for? Yeah.

But so they get into a little tiff. They're not happy with each other. They both storm off. Date is over. But we see Toby creeping in back from the trees and him and Marnie take the date over and they enjoy some delicious raspberry vinaigrette. And then do you know what they also enjoy? I'm assuming. I think she says it to Alex and Coach Cole, but she says she's going to go make her signature Marnie Teenie.

Ooh, that's right. I forgot about that. I forgot about that. Yep. And so then we cut over and we have Jace giving a terrible locker room speech. Evans is a little bit better. I think he's just a better actor. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's part of the problem. Evans' speech was better. My issue was, I wrote this down, Jace is giving the pep talk to the ducks, gets them all riled up, right? They're ready to go. They don't, how does, nobody does a single quack. Nobody does a single goddamn quack.

You're expecting way, way, way way way way way too much How do you not How do you not do a Like a quack Like a quack chant at the end Like He's not a real duck He's an imposter

That's true He's a dominate He's not a duck Yeah Yeah exactly And so I did like too But you know where Evan's like

You know play out Play for the purity of the game And And, and AJ is like purity mode. Let's go. Dude. Fucking. Like I said, we needed more AJ. We needed. Yeah. He really came. That was the only character that was developed. He became, he was the worst. And now he's like funny, likable jock guy. Yeah. And I think, I think you said it the last episode. We just, we needed more of more of some of these kids.

Like half of the kids, we don't know their fucking name. Yeah. It doesn't make any sense. We need a million times less Alex and Dumel and a million times more like making this a kid's hockey show. Yeah. Right. Like, even though the first, like the movies, yes, had a lot of Bombay in it because he was like, but like, it wasn't, I don't know. It didn't, it, you still got good character development from the kids along the way. Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. You still got it. And his love story in one and then his like Hollywood Bombay story storyline in two are subplots. Yeah. Whereas like I. They're barely touched on like gently. It doesn't really move. His love story with Charlie's mom in the first one, I think there's four or five scenes.

Yeah. Right? And then there's like the longer one where they're at the ice whatever, the ice parade or whatever it is. But other than that, it's like real short, like three or four scenes. It's a subplot. It's not the main plot. lot whereas with this series this season especially alex and coach cole seems like not not necessarily their relationship because that kind of comes on towards the end but that them the show's about those are the two main characters it's not the kids yeah which is that's where that's where they

lose all the magic it shouldn't it's not about an adult love story it's about kids underdog hockey team yeah it that's where it's like well who is this show for it's not for it's one of those things where they tried to make it super broad so it appealed to everybody and now it appeals to nobody thanks for listening, everyone. Please remember to follow and like us on Instagram at TheCakeEatersPod, on Twitter at TheCakeEaters. Also reach out to us via email, TheCakeEatersPod at gmail.com or visit our website, TheCakeEatersPod.com.