The Cake Eaters - 55. Game Changers S2:E10 Lights Out

Episode Date: April 11, 2023

Heath & Brandon finally get to the end of Season 2 Game Changers! On today's episode, they are talking through the season finale, Episode 10 Lights Out. They discuss alternate endings, new colors for the Mighty Ducks, Coach T being blackballed from Minnesota Youth Hockey, the great Midwest, how much of a hold Linkin Park had on teenage boys during the early 2000s, and the complete lack of Minnesota Miracle Magic that this season had. Follow us at www.thecakeaterspod.com and on Twitter (@thecakeeaters) and Instagram (@thecakeeaterspod) Email us at [e-mail]

What does possible sound like for your business? It's having to spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with Business Platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and conditions apply. Visit amex.ca slash business platinum. It's not worth winning if you can't win. Oh Canada Our home and native land True patriot love

In all of us command I think that's right. Pretty sure that's spot on. I actually forgot the rhythm as I went into true patriot as well. Lost the rhythm. Yeah, you just started talking at that point. Yeah, that's when I lost the rhythm. yeah you just started you just started talking at that point yeah yeah that's that's when i lost the rhythm i was like wait wait wait what's the

next note but you know very solid rendition coach t would be very proud you know who else would be proud robert goulet um one one of my favorite there's a there's an old wrestling um pay-per-view i can't remember which one now. It was either one of the WrestleMania Survivor Series or Royal Rumbles. Robert Goulet crushes a beautiful rendition of O Canada before. We talked about it in a previous episode, I think, actually. I think we did. Now that you mention it, it just sounds familiar.

Goulet. So this is the Cake Eaters podcast. We're talking season finale, Game Changers, season two, lights out. He's lights out. And then we will turn the lights out on this mediocre at best show. It actually is bad at best at this point. I don't know. I don't know. I need to be to be nicer it's over let's celebrate its mediocrity it's been a chore to get through um especially when you do it the way that we do it where we dissect every single second the flaws really

come out i'm sure they're real glaring i'm sure if you have a if you have a child or if you are a child i don't know why you'd be listening to this podcast if you have a if you have a child or if you are a child i don't know why you'd be listening to this podcast if you're a child you need to get a wife it says it clearly states explicit on apple podcast and spotify okay if you're a kid turn it off right now yeah and if you're an adult that doesn't get the shtick of us breaking down every second of these things. And you want to comment. Who cares? So kids get the fuck out. Stop listening.

We don't need your fucking, we don't need your number. Okay. Honestly, everybody just stop listening. Yeah. We don't need you, but,

but what my, my listening, go fuck yourself. Great job, Brandon. Let's bring him in reel him in go fuck yourself san diego uh but uh my the point what i was trying to get at is i'm sure if you had if you have a kid and you're there watching the show and you're just you know have this on in the background and you're not paying full attention to it i'm sure it's not bad yeah you know like you're doing other adult things while this is it's probably better than some of the other stuff yeah i mean we talked about this so it's not as good as some uh some of the other

kids shows out there but it's probably better than some of the other shit they have to deal with i'll say as far as like kids shows now go this is the only one i've cared enough to watch um so i don't know how high the bar is but i imagine it's this i would imagine this is right in the middle you know right in the middle of your your average modern kids show it would be even better if they stopped focusing on alex and actually focused on the goddamn kids though that's's, that's the key, right? It may be, if it became a kid's show, I don't know what part of the Alex thing makes it a kid's show, but that's fine.

Yeah. It's I, I think it's the scene where Marnie tells her to wear a different bra. I think that's what really hooks the kids in. Oh my God. I kids in. Oh, my God. I get that. But lights out season finale. Yeah.

The Canadian Youth All-Stars. Woo. Led by our boy, Coach T. Oh, Canada. Dylan Playfair from Letterkenny fame. Shout out. Yeah. Everybody remembers his Coach T from season one. Oh, Canada. Dylan Playfair from Letterkenny fame. Shout out. Yeah.

Everybody remembers his Coach T from season one. He's back. He crushed it in season one. I'm glad he – when he shows up at the end of the last episode, I got fucking pumped. I was like, hell yeah. I cheered. I text you. And then the first thing in my notes for this episode I wrote was,

if Coach T loses, I'm going to be fucking pissed. The first thing in my notes for this episode I wrote was, if Coach T loses, I'm going to be fucking pissed. Spoiler alert. We got some fucking bad news for Brandon here at the end of this episode. I know I brought this up to you all not online. Not on the air or whatever. On air. On air, whatever you want to call it. Are we on air?

Is a podcast considered on air? I don't know. I think if we were live live it would be considered on air but we're not is it this is is it is it like when a tree falls in the woods does it make a noise when the podcast is published with no listeners is it heard but uh i brought this up to you i think they missed a golden opportunity to have coach t win 100 agree with you i feel like 100 agree with you because they could have pulled this into like what a cliffhanger yeah to bring people into season three of like because then you gotta have the what do they call it? The rubber match, right? Rubber match. And I'm locked in for season three.

I'm like, okay, season two, yes, not good. But season three, let's get back to Minnesota. Let's get back to Bombay. Let's get Coach T, Stephanie. Let's get all of our good folks in there. See, if Coach T wins wins season three writes itself yeah he regains his uh you know he repairs his brand uh minnesota lets him back into the youth coaching he may maybe he even goes back to the old the the you know the the bad ducks no he goes to the hawks brandon he goes to the hawks and he

revives the hawks as the cake eaters yeah i love that and then you bring you go back to minnesota you bring bombay in you bring this is when you would need you bring bring Bombay in, so you get Bombay back, and then you would also need to bring – you need to introduce somebody. Because I know in my canon, in my head canon, Winnie is a part of the Jan and Hans family. But that's not official. But for season three, I feel like you come back, you get Bombay in. And then somebody from that family needs to show up. And then you have the – you have all of the Minnesota magic right there to overthrow the perfect villain that we've set up, which is Coach T. But they don't do any of that. And once again, that's our fault for having any form of expectations.

But it was there. It's all there. That's why we're just we're not mad we're disappointed at this point we're mad it would have been the perfect ending because it would have been uh and then you wrap everything up with season three nothing past season three yep and then it's oh yes and you would have been a bow on it it would have been a bow on it it would have been a perfect little trilogy yep because then because you have the the second one just like star wars where you

have the and and i think marvel followed this too right the second one of this you know the villain wins in the second one and then you come back and the third one return of the jedi exactly you know we would have got more coach t which is fantastic we always need more coach t yeah um yeah it would it it ducks would have been the underdog story again because now they're not the underdog story like they can't be the scrappy underdogs anymore they went to the elite hockey they beat they beat the best that canada has to offer you're not underdogs anymore yeah so that's that trope is done. Yep. And it would have been a great curveball to throw. Nobody would have expected it. No, it would have been awesome.

Even the kids would have been like, oh, how did the Canadians, those old maple-drinking sons of guns from the North. How the F did they pull that out? Those Winnipeg sons of bitches. Oh, my God. Keep your Tim Hortons, you know. The next thing I have in my notes, though, is who better not be the goddamn goalie? Well, he is. And it's it's a trap all right so let's

let's jump in so we kick off this show we've got kids reviewing the list of scouts we got colleges we got team usa we got junior hockey clubs we got all kinds of good shit since we're talking missed opportunities another missed opportunity would have been to have Tibbles show up as part of Team USA. That would have been amazing. Is he dead? That's a great call out. Let's see. So we have Michael Tucker, born February 6, 1945, in Baltimore, Maryland.

He went to Baltimore City College and then Carnegie Mellon University. He's an actor and an author, and he is still alive. Good for you, Michael Tucker. Way to go, Tibbs. All right. So now that we've established that Tibbles is alive and should have represented USA Hockey, we have AJ saying he is fulfilling his destiny from before he was born and Nick saying I get that feeling every time I complete a really hard lego just courses through my body

yeah fucking AJ what was what were some of the uh he had some really good lines early in the season there's the one where he doesn't get drafted number number one, and he goes, now I got a chip on my shoulder. And then what was the- More AJ is what was needed for sure. There's another one. I forget exactly when it was, but I think it's when they're getting ready to play the first game of the round robin or whatever, and he goes, I'm always ready.

I'm like a loaded rattlesnake or something. I'm a coiled snake. Coiled snake. That's what it is. Always ready. And always ready to strike. If you stay ready, you don't got to get ready, Heath. That's my motto.

You say that all the time. But we continue moving through kiddos, reflecting. Coob is feeling nostalgic. Maya is having everyone sign her yearbook. And Sophie is. It's not a yearbook. Well, spoiler alert, Brandon. Does she call it a yearbook?

No, I just called it that. She says, I think Sophie refers to it as a shirt. Because I think that's what she was calling it. And then she's like, that wasn't a shirt. It was a fan. Yeah. Yeah think that's what she was calling it and then she's like that wasn't a shirt it was a yeah yeah that's right like the newsies she was carrying the banner tough and tall yep oh what a fine life dude i need to re-watch that movie fucking love newsies so good need to text heidi too. That's one we got to do, right? That's got Portman in it, right? Is that the one with Portman?

Oh, yes. Listen. Newsies. Goofy movie. We got it. We got Keenan. He has Good Burger. Yeah.

We got some real classics. We've got some good side projects from D2, that's for sure. Yeah. Get ready, folks. Those are going to be right before your next assignment. We've got Rookie of the Year and Sandlot, too. Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

We've got some real, real good stuff that's going to be coming down. I love it. All right. But anyway, keep going. Keep going. We've got to – All right. So we've got uh

oh yeah they're just kind of hanging out and so then we move to uh coach cole final it's you know it's the final team meeting of the whole camp um and they're playing at the ducks practice facility since it's very exciting and since they came together they they're all going to fly under the Ducks banner for this final game. They're going by the Ducks. I wrote down. Do you hear AJ's line? Hold on. AJ's line when they announced that they're going to be Ducks. He's like, normally I like animals a little above that on the food chain, but I can get down.

But I wrote down, why are they not? We established that they played at the Honda Center last year. That's where Jace had his glitch. Now we've been demoted to the Ducks practice facility. I mean, we know who to blame for that. Alex. She went over there running roughshod. They're not going to let her back into the Honda Center when she very

probably admitted to violating. They probably banned her for life. Rules about access. Absolutely. Like you're not just running into the player personnel area of the arena and not getting a ban. Yeah. They don't let anybody in there to touch the golden knuckle puck.

Okay. You got to earn that. That was so stupid, Brandon. Why'd puck okay you gotta earn that that was so stupid brandon why'd you bring it back up that's so stupid and what was the point of all that it was to show you the spirit of the ducks oh you mean the whatever i i gave my feelings on that episode the dementors kiss is what I call that episode. But, uh,

but yeah, we're, we're playing at the ducks practice facility and then he makes the, the dumbest decision anybody could ever make in their entire life. He relinquishes coaching to Alex and he just wants to be a papa, a big dad, big dad, Cole, big daddy, Cole big dad. Big dad Cole.

Big daddy Cole. Yep. And so, you know, he just wants, you know, it's and then and then I just we don't have to talk about the scene. I hated it where she was like coaching him on how to be a dad. How would she know? Didn't didn't her husband leave her to go be a band person? So why is she, you know she coaching him to be a dad? When they,

not to like be mean about it, but when that whole, when that whole thing was going down in season one, where they were talking about how the dad, he's a rock star and he left, you know, you're like, Oh,

what a, what a scummy thing to do. But the longer this goes on, the longer i'm exposed to alex morrow the dude was a fucking genius yeah get out get out while the getting's good he was that was a lose-lose situation for him the whole fucking time yeah he's he's not coming out on on the other side of that like she she changed i'm sure as soon as you know she probably had the baby to trap him you know evan's evan's a trap baby that's what he is i was gonna say anchor baby

no no no no no no no trap baby is so much more fitting and I'm using that from now on. Anchor Baby is something else. No. All right. Bringing it back in, we're going to cut from my least – it's just a continuing cycle of least favorite moments between Coach Cole and Alex. And we cut over to the arena, and we get Cam Fowler from the Ducks. I did enjoy Cam Fowler who shows up, but I thought this would have been, again, another like cameo of perfect fucking thing for whoever turned around to be an old duck.

You know, have have fucking banks turn around and be like, hey, I got you guys New Jersey's. You know, did I love that throwback logo it looks cool with anything but i don't like orange i was you know like i've said this a thousand times so i put that so that's the reverse retro jersey the actual reverse retro jersey for the anaheim ducks this year it is yeah for yeah so for you and for those not familiar, Adidas, who currently supplies – I only looked at the Avs one. Yeah. So they currently supply the NHL with jerseys, although I think this is their last year or next year is their last year or something like that. But every couple of years, they do a program called the Reverse Retro where they take an old design and then either put the modern colors on or –

they take the retro design and they reverse it in some way, you know, they swap colors, anything like that. So that's the, the actual Anaheim Ducks reverse retro Jersey for this year. It's the old, the old actual, the Mighty Ducks jerseys, but with their new colors. I, I don't mind the orange, gold and black for the actual anaheim ducks i hate it for the mighty ducks yeah like the the the show the movie universe mighty ducks need to be um purple green and yellow or just or just eggplant and jade that's either one of those in my notes i put

literally put uh i am not super big on the orange and i sure miss the eggplant and jade yeah it's just it's it's it's iconic it's an iconic color scheme and like you can change up the color scheme in some form or like if you're going to do it, do it like like you said, like the black and the orange and the gold of like the current team and not just like the light orange and the white. I didn't I didn't I didn't like the color scheme. I like I really like that jersey. Like I said, for the actual Anaheim Ducks ducks i think it's a fantastic reverse retro that they did but i don't like it for the movie slash show mighty ducks they need to be the they still need to be purple and green i don't know i just i i said it's i'm not i'm not big on orange i'm also not big on purple for like teams i'm glad i'm not a vikings fan

yeah we've already fucked up the hawks though and made them orange so now the ducks and the hawks are orange i just realized that son of a goddamn bitch they're both orange this is what i'm saying like do you think that disney listened to our podcast in season one and listened to me yell about them putting the hawks in fucking orange i'm like you know what we're not gonna just put the hawks in orange they're gonna we're gonna put the fucking ducks in orange just to really piss this guy off there's nobody i'm i'm positive 100 positive that every decision disney makes is in spite of you heath it's listen in my main character energy it's exactly

what happens. Alright, so let's bring it back again. And we just got the unis handed out and we met Alex.

We're walking to the locker room. We did miss something before they get the jerseys. As they're walking to the locker room we did miss something before they get the jerseys as they're walking into the arena nick trips it didn't show it though yeah it did he trips and he goes yeah he trips and he has like a line where he goes oh my foot my foot i'm okay i'm good i'm good and then he keeps walking something like that that's not an exact quote but he says something like it's real quick it's like a three second scene and then and then and then that's when they right when they walk in and then they're given the jerseys gotcha well we get alex walking down the hall and says how bad can it be it's canada a nicest country in the world and then all of a sudden boom coach t wtf i see you're still

rocking the hair he's crying um and then and then that's where coach t is like after you stole our name i reacted in a way that some deemed inappropriate so i ripped a doorbell a doorbell off the wall so i wrote this down so he said he behaved in a way that some deemed inappropriate and it got him blackballed from minnesota youth hockey and then alex runs down exactly what he does he flips a towel cart rips a doorbell off the wall and says this is mine now and then storms out none of that is that bad no not to get blackballed no i would i would argue none of that is even worth being deemed inappropriate it should have been a better example for the kids but i have seen you know how many you know i've seen reels of youth coaches oh that is so mild i mean yeah when i was a kid our coach used to swear on us all the time be like

get the fucking ass down the court you know how many carts i've seen flipped over how many clipboards i've seen snapped in half yeah a million par for the course the only thing that's weird is him ripping the doorbell off the wall but that's not inappropriate that's just weird yeah it's just like oh boy just pay for it everyone seemed like oh geez coach d kind of flipped out we're like anybody bought bombay a new doorbell yeah i mean i mean doorbell would have been the only new thing in that place yeah um but yeah i wrote that down i was like none of that seemed worth being blackballed well it's our once again brandon are you surprised that the storyline was poorly executed my bad you're right you're right that's this is your fault yes it's my it's my what did

we say last last episode it's my fault for opening my heart. Any form of expectation. Trying to welcome the show in. Yeah, to the Ducks unit. We tried to welcome it with open arms into the Ducks universe. It just spit in our faces. But I did love that. I loved this whole Coach T scene. He's looking for sweet revenge, Brandon.

I loved Alex's breakdown of exactly what he did because I thought that was hilarious. Ripping a doorbell off the wall. And then I loved his – The bacon's thicker. The bacon's thicker. Everything's a little bit different. The cones are just a little bit thinner. The bacon's just a little bit thicker

had to leave his two moms behind that he was dating that was the greatest that was that was that was the best line written in this entire season uh the only good one is when he had to he had to leave both of the moms he was dating behind both of them so he's looking for sweet sweet revenge but i loved i deserves it i in my notes, Coach T is a national treasure. Dylan Playfair, we, like, it would have been, this is why it's so goddamn frustrating that he loses this game. Because. It would have been a beautiful, beautiful third season. And him being.

Yeah. Yeah. And then you get arrogant coach t back where he you know he's just one which but now now i doubt i doubt he's going to be in season three right i mean we know we said that about season two i said that i was like i doubt we get coach t again we did we did hypothesize him coming back as the rival coach though maybe maybe they do listen to our podcasties Maybe they do. Not enough, but they do.

The problem is that they needed to listen to the episode where we gave them all kinds of scenarios and character hires. If you are listening, me and Heath are available for hire as consultants or co-writers. Just get in touch with us i have a voice of the people yeah these are these are two down to earth salt of the earth corn-fed midwestern boys that you're getting here so you're gonna get get that perfect Midwestern flair that everybody loves. Everybody loves the Midwest. Why do you think Hallmark movies do so well? Everyone wants a little taste of that good old home. Hallmark movies. Midwestern emo is making a real big comeback right now.

You know, everybody loves the Midwest. Oh, dude. Midwestern emo was all the rage when i was in college and i was all the way into it dude that's my that's my like i i listened to and i love all all kinds of music that's like my sweet that's like my sweet spot is sad boy midwestern emo oh i love it i had dcs i had band shirts you. You get the little stringy guitar intro. And then you get a dude who clearly doesn't know how to sing coming over top doing some vocals. Yeah.

Amazing. It's beautiful. Made me feel like I could sing. Oh, dude. I have a real soft spot for genres. Because I grew up on punk music so i have a real soft spot for genres of music where the people the the people in the band clearly don't know how to play their instrument but they're giving it their all you know they're fucking they're doing their triers

they're real triers they're they're the evan morrows of the music industry. Yeah. It's a hundred percent effort. 10% skill, you know, something about concentrated power of will. Right. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I feel like it's a, it's the Lincoln park guy,

right? What's his rap name? Fort minor, right? Fort minor. Oh, geez. I think that's what it is.

Boy, I've never heard that before, but it is. I, I, I, I, I'm pretty sure that's his, that's his rap is. Boy, I've never heard that before, but if it is. I'm pretty sure that's his rap name. Oh, I just know that as the song that they always play for sports intros and stuff. Yeah, Fort Minor. I was right. Fort Minor was a hip-hop side project by Mike Shinoda, who is best known as the rhythm guitarist keyboardist and producer of lincoln park i held listen that first lincoln park cd when it came out when i was in middle

school oh my god that one young heath dude it spoke to my heart to my soul to my core so all right let's see he was fucking everything eighth grade going into freshman summer what was the name of that album i can't it was it was like uh quit asking me the names of things on this pot what is it if i have to tell you what was it hybrid yes so that that came So that came out in 2000. In the album cover? Yeah. So I was in fourth grade in 2000. Yeah, you're old as shit.

But I remember that album so vividly because – it's a great album. I listen to it all the time but um throughout my 14 throughout my elementary school um like one through k through five i went to uh uh cotton creek elementary school go cougs um they uh the the music teacher and i'm blanking on her name she was a fantastic fucking music teacher though but she there was like memorable sounds like there was one day uh I mean, she was kind of mean, but I respected it, you know. Well, all teachers have to be a little mean because kids

suck, right? Like, I was always friends with the teacher, but I also instigated a lot of stuff, so I was nice to them. As you know, Heath, I'm a huge fan of authority. I respect it 100% of the time. But she had a day – one day every year where you could bring in a song that you liked. Like you could bring in a CD, and single boy in my class brought that in.

We had to plan ahead. We all got together. We planned ahead. You get this song. I'll take this song and fucking worked it all out. Yeah. I love everything. I love everything about that. See, like, that is, like, middle school shenanigans that you, like, get into.

And it's funny. And it's harmless. But, like, it also annoys the shit out of people. You know, I'm sure. So, I just, I don't know. This is why we need to write a book. Again, I'm blanking on her name but the music teacher she was she was she was not entirely thrilled that everybody picked the same fucking cd um but so she she so we like we all the boys got together and like divvied out like okay you take

this song i'll take this song and then when it was that day she was like okay give me the cd we're just gonna play the whole we're gonna knock all knock all these out, run right after the other. We're going to listen to the whole CD. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Knock all your guys' songs out, and then we'll move on to everybody else. That's amazing. That's a great teacher right there. That's a great reaction from the teacher.

Right? Don't find it. Just be like, cool. We're just going to listen to the CD for this is don't find it just like cool we're just gonna listen to the cd for this out yep listen dude it was i was i i was like somewhere in middle school like 13 14 or whatever when that cd came out and by god you know just full of teenage angst and hybrid theory, just checked every box and I would just be headphones in, in the basement. Leave me alone,

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Visit brokenforestco.com and use the code CAKEETERS15 for 15% off your order. All right, all order. All right. All right. All right. Let's okay. Where were we?

We, we went, we went real off the rails there for a second. I blacked out. All right. So coach T coach T was talking shit. Okay. So we're in the locker room. We got Coob suiting up for the goal. Your favorite.

Evan is being a sad boy about Coach T. And Sophie's like finally over it. She's like, I've got a new sad boy now. It fired me up. Jace, how are you feeling? And then Nick comes up in a walking boot because, as you mentioned, he rolled his ankle, and no one gives a shit that he's not playing, and he is devastated.

I like this scene. No, you should just take it easy, Nick. Yeah, yeah, you're fine. You're good. I love how when, yeah. I went sticks in. I love how Sophie's like, just do what I did. Rest up.

Take it easy. And he goes, when you got hurt, everybody else fucking quit. They threw the fucking – we threw sticks all in. I want sticks in right now. Let's go. Oh, man. It's – Poor Nick.

Good stuff. But it leads to – Did you see Coob's helmet again? It's the same one that he was wearing before I know But it is fucking cool It's cool stuff But now it's in outdated colors

Because it's in purple and green I actually I jotted that down I was like too bad his awesome helmet Clashes with these stupid orange uniforms I don't know I don't know what it is with me and orange i mean i've never really had beef with the color before but like on uniforms this podcast

would would suggest otherwise all right so it's game time brandon game time and we've got the ducks looking strong early against team canada yep the mighty ducks versus the top youth all-stars from canada that's not the official name i butchered that name but uh but we got uh evan is real worried evan is more worried about the scouts than the game so he's he's a head case right now we got a freaking basket case there i love how he gets the i love how uh he gets the first time he gets the puck he he immediately turn over for a goal well it's because he immediately looks up at the scout yeah he's like boom like just right as soon as he touches the puck what do you

idiot yeah this is why coach cole told you on the ceiling yeah anyways um but jace is playing out of his mind rips home slap shot two goals one oh boom um well we got marnie coach cole and nick sitting together in the stands and nick is unable to identify his role on the team outside of comedic relief. I mean, fair. That's where they are. You are, Nick. Oh, you are. Nick really showing his stripes, being the best character, being that self-aware, only self-aware character on the show.

Yeah, exactly. He's got a podcast body, right? Yeah, you got it. But then we're back on the ice and we get Sophie pass into Jace. Boom. Puts the biscuit in the basket. 2-0. There you go, hockey people.

Go fuck yourselves. No, I'm kidding. Sorry. And then we're at the end of the first, it's two. Oh, we're on the way to the locker room. And the scouts like, hey, hey, can you point me towards Jace? Evan's like, go on. Nobody respects me.

Mom. It's rough. It's rough. But then team usa is chatting with cole and he's like you know i wanted to get a jump on it there's going to be a lot of interest but i don't want to make sure i want to make sure you're not going to crack yeah you know i'm going to make sure we're all together upstairs yeah you know this is team usa and we're going all the way. I was going to finish that if you weren't going to. Oh. Yeah. Yeah.

Team USA. No pressure, though. No pressure. And Jace is like, no, I'm good. Thank you for asking. And then that's where Evan is like, Mom, you know, I'm real sad that the scouts aren't going to look at me. And Coach Cole got my head telling me I have a ceiling. And I just like quick reality check.

Welcome to the 99% of people in the world who are not going to make it in professional hockey. And like, you should be very realistic and accepting of your role on as like a bench player on a d3 school in wisconsin and that's and that is fine yeah that's a good path you know probably be a successful insurance agent i can see it you know like evan morrow state farm boom you know discount double check yeah maybe you get you know you're good enough insurance salesman that you you take over for cp3 as a spokesman yeah yeah you know wife kids form your own ducks the wisconsin ducks yeah the wisconsin dells ducks The Wisconsin Dells Ducks. Yeah. Yeah.

He needs to like, yeah, it's just, and it's a, the other thing is it's, it's one, it's one coach that's telling you this, right? Well, I guess two, if you count coach T cutting you, but back to back coaches are telling you that you're not good enough to make the pros but so just be an effort guy you're still in like we're not even at june we're not even in juniors yet or college like you still got a long time you got like a good what's what's he like 13 he's got um he's got five years five six years maybe more if you grow. He might fill out as he continues to age and develop. You've got at least five good years of serviceable hockey. Now, granted, like you said, it might be at a D3 college, but that's perfectly fine.

NAIA? Exactly. I would have fucking loved to play at a D3 college. Exactly. Like being good enough to play at an NAIA school is nothing to like sniff at. Yeah, absolutely. Like I knew very quickly that I was not going to be a college athlete. Oh, yeah. And so I knew that it was over in high school.

But I came to terms with that, and I was not upset. I knew it in high school and so i but i came to terms with that and i was not upset yeah i knew you know i knew it before before high school i had i had the dream in elementary school up until like sixth grade right probably yeah sixth grade middle school because i was i was i hit my growth spurt early like i was yeah i was like five nine in like fifth grade right yeah it's like fucking i was i was i was playing nine in like fifth grade. Right. Yeah. It's like fucking, I was, I was, I was playing center and basketball. I was the tallest kid. I was the biggest kid on the baseball team. Crush.

And then you maxed out. Living the dream. And then yep. Sixth grade hit and everybody outgrew me. Nice. Nice. I mean, I did, I did the same thing. I was still, I played, but yeah, I was never going to make the pros, but I still, you can

still play. You can still have some fucking fun, You know? And put in the effort. Like it's still worth – like life is effort. You should continue to put effort into life. Yeah, especially if it's – clearly hockey is something he loves. So keep playing it and play it for as long as you can. Yeah, for the love of God, have some goddamn fun. You've been – you and your mom have been bitching about it the whole time.

You have to balance hard work and fun if you want to play at any level. Anyways. All right. Hashtag Alex was right. Oh, I hate you. Now we're all right. So we're done with that. We get back to the stands.

Marnie knows where Nick belongs. Brandon. Second period, right? This is my favorite period. A big second period guy. You know why? You know why it's my favorite period? Why?

Chuck a puck? Well, no. That's between the second and third period. Yeah. Second intermission. It's neither here nor there. I'll say the second period is my favorite because Coach goddamn T. But let's get to Nick first.

Nick hops. Marnie moves him up to the booth, right? Yep. Yep. She does some intros, Nick and Rich. And Rich is like the old injured reserve. Couldn't get any cortisone huh and that's where they hit it off it's the best view you know

and then on the ice evan is still looking a little salty and jealous towards jace you know because he's getting all the scout love and so um and then we get jace whiffing again and then he looks sad until he's fine cracking under the pressure team usa or so we think you know um and then we get uh canada with the steel rips it past cube fries passes it to cole guess what another swing and a miss give him a cold why don't you right is it uh keep fanning maybe a miss give him a cold why don't you right is it uh keep fanning maybe you'll give him a cold charlie and then uh and then evan this is we talked about this before it gets pushed off the puck gives up a turnover in the zone canada goal boom we're at two two brandon and now here comes the best part

wheels are coming off second period best part this is i fucking loved this dude was it when canada rips it past coop for three two oh for the third the third goal right is the the third goal is when they break out the flying V. Or is it – That's the fourth. Yep. Okay. Well, it's – okay.

Skip the third goal then. Let's go to the fourth goal. It's three to two. And then – Fourth goal. Coach T uses the flying V against the Ducks. Brilliant. Fucking brilliant.

And that is why he should have won. Yes. That's what the – He should have – That's what he should have won on. That should have been the game winning game. Oh my god. As like just a thumb in the nose. To everyone. Everyone is like the ultimate.

You know. The revenge of the Sith. As upon them. Yeah. Using it... So he uses it against the Ducks and I wrote down in my notes I wrote, the Ducks didn't even try

to play defense. There's one... Besides Coob, there's one Duck in the shot of the flying V. And then I wrote down honestly, given all three movies, all 20 episodes of the show, I think that's the best flying V I've ever seen. I was going to say the same thing.

It was flawless. It was very well executed. No surprise. Fundamentally sound. And then I love, this is skipping ahead to after the next intermission. Or is it this this time when he no because uh the the peer the second intermission ends on the flying v and the second four to canada and rich chokes on his popcorn yeah to skip ahead a little bit when they come back from the intermission and

alex is giving coach t crap about using the flying v and he shoots back and he's like you don't own the letter yes you don't own the letter v yeah fucking love it ah great stuff um and then so we're heading back to the locker room and evan's being a real debbie down and he says mom don't the game's over and then it's like what's up with the glitch out there again, Jace? Should we ask dad for help? And Coach Cole is already waiting outside the door to come chat with Jace. He's not upset. Just wants to make sure he's okay. You know, the glitch is back. And then Sophie, and this is reason number 1,000 why the character of Jace is so incredibly unlikable.

Sophie correctly calls out, you're faking it. You're being a real huge, monstrous piece of shit because you are directly contributing to your team losing because of your own personal baggage. Real chip off the old Coach Alex block, you know? I wrote down in my notes, he's faking it, question mark. What a bitch. I just, we'll move on. I mean, who sits down and is like, you know what's a compelling storyline?

For the shithead kid to throw his team all out under the bus, yet be the most popular, by purposefully playing like an asshole in the championship game. Did you see the shots that he was shooting? And he second-guessed it. He's like, I'm going to shoot it for real. No, actually, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to shoot like a complete jackass so that my team can lose to the Canadians. Hey,

I was going to, I was going to say something really mean, but I won't, you know, hold it back. Did you let me just spit enough venom for the both of us? I think, I think that's enough venom.

I don't, I think I'm good. Anyways. All right. Um, so everyone, everyone, for some reason, the team finds it compelling, though, and they all rally around Jace. What I, what cracked me up during the scene was she goes. You are one in a million. I'm not going to watch you throw that away.

The whole Evan thing was dumb. I hate everything. But the thing that cracked me up is when Sophie's like, hey, you're being a fucking bitch and you're faking it. And he like looks at her and he goes, yeah, you're right. That's all he says. I know. I know. I know, Brandon.

I hated it. They're just like, what a non-response so yeah yeah you got me you're right i'm a real piece of shit asshole yeah but so yeah and then evan evan evan tries yeah they all rally around jace evan tells him how lucky he is he wishes he was him he wishes he could uh play whatever but he's got a ceiling. Real inspirational intermission. They rallied together. All right, let's do this. And then we have Coach Alex and Coach Cole on the bench.

I need my dad on the bench now. I'm inspired. So I wrote what I was thinking throughout this whole, the whole intermission, right? There's not a single goddamn quack. There's not a single goddamn quack. There's not a single, there's not a single mention of flying together. Yeah.

There's, you know, nobody mentions roosters spinning or roosters crowing and cows spinning in the pasture. Nope. There's nothing. There's how, how do you have not a single goddamn quack in the middle of an

inspirational intermission? Wemission not even a ducks fly together yeah unbelievable again again they don't under the people writing this don't understand the history the magic and the charm of the ducks you how like you not even a single fucking quack and it was it was quacktastic it was quackalicious this is this is where you know where this is is where nick is on the mic and he's like q to the u to the a c k i o i c i o u s quackalicious quackalicious i mean he's i mean they wouldn't hear him though. He's not on. Did I spell that right? No, probably not. But he's not, he's broadcasting.

He's broadcasting. He's not, he's not on like the PA. He's, you know. Well, I just want Nick to rap Quackalicious. There was an opening. There was an opening there for that to happen in this series. And they fucked that up that's gonna be my that's gonna be my honorable mention missed opportunity it makes no sense it

goes nowhere but nick should have sang they if they can sit and have a freestyle in the stands nick can start it off or end it with quackalicious. Yeah. I mean, you got no arguments here. He's okay. Thank you. All right. So we're going to slide on into the third period and rich is officially down and out with the popcorn Colonel. Get him off the mic.

You shouldn't have been on it to begin with. I miss MJ and Terry all series. Once again, that was part of the charm, right? Get him off the mic. You shouldn't have been on it to begin with. I miss MJ and Terry all series. Once again, that was part of the charm, right? The charm of the accountant dad being such a good dad that he is driving his daughter around to. That's fair. We hockey tournament games. And not only that, but uncomfortably jumping on the mic for sport. He knows nothing about.

It was. only that but uncomfortably jumping on the mic for a sport he knows nothing about exactly it was and i i would have i would have settled for just mj yeah if you don't want to if you don't want to bring terry back just losing mj and that whole like podcast like losing all that was a travesty travesty yep all right josie's snoring really loud behind me coming off guard um all right so we've got coach alex and coach cole they're talking a little bit of trash right you know it's a little uh don't own don't own the letter v guys so eat it um and but the ducks come out firing they are inspired by that uninspirational speech cole rips at home for the hat trick little spin move little spin cycle goal biscuit basket done and oh the old momentum train is starting to roll down the tracks in the other direction brandon

and we have cole ripping home an absolute clapper of a goal four four it was him it was him again so So he had four goals, right? Four goals. Damn. All-star. MVP. And again, like. Sid the Kid. He. I don't know. I guess. The fact that AJ doesn't get a single goal. The fact that it's just Jace is. Stupid.

It should have been Sophie. It should have been AJ. It should have been a team effort that like he stars in yes of course but he doesn't need to score every fucking goal they didn't do the necessary league work to make him a likable character to have him be mr duck at the end of the season yeah i wanted aj I wanted AJ to be AJ is the one who showed the most growth who is Mr. Duck now

he's the one that was a bad Mr. Workout like and then now he's friends with his brother he's friends with the underdogs you know like he's a true leader and he's come out of this AJ AJ is the true duck of this show.

I'll leave it at that. Once a duck, always a duck. But yeah, they just didn't do the necessary legwork for us to care enough about Jace for him to be scoring all four goals during this game. I don't know. It's just – and again, it defeats – I would have had an issue with AJ. I mean, I wouldn't have had an issue with AJ scoring one of the goals. But if they would have done all four goals with AJ,

I would have had an issue too because it's these – It's not how it works. They're not ducks. Even in D2, in D2 when you have the new ones come in, right? You have Julie saves the day with the save, the glove save at the end. But you had Banks, Jesse and connie well i'm i'm thinking specifically goal wise you had banks jesse and fulton as major contributors for the goals connie had a few goals too your og ducks oh yeah she did i was thinking just like strictly

the ice like the last iceland game though. Oh, okay. But you had all three. They were the OG Ducks. Yeah. So even though you had the new people coming in, it still felt like a Duck victory. This didn't feel like a Duck victory. This felt like a Jace victory. And I – this is – it's the Mighty Ducks.

It's not the – The Mighty Sad Boys. Yeah, or the... I'm trying to think what starts with a J. The Jubilant Jaces. There's not much jubilant about him. That's true. He's Mr. Fucking Sad Boy.

Yeah. The Jaundice Jaces. It didn't feel like the Ducks coming back. It felt like Jace coming back. You know? Yeah, I i mean no surprise here i hate it at all and so we get coach t calling a timeout and then then canada's huddle he's like enough is enough someone take that cold kid out i am not going back to winnipeg this is uh this is uh i loved this uh and i wish they would have saw it through a little more than they did this is this is straight out of coach uh

coach riley book taking out a hit take this fucking kid out yeah but like you know canada got a got a bad rap here from it's not that bad. It's fine. No, Canada's great. People are nice. It's cold. You drink maple syrup. You eat Tim Hortons. Canada's great. What other cultural stereotype can I lay on Canada?

Vancouver is a great city. I love Vancouver. Toronto is a very cool city. Toronto's very cool. Toronto's huge, though. Yeah. i'm not a metropolis yeah i like vancouver a little because vancouver was a little it's a little smaller that's a lot smaller but you know the the big big cities i'm not a huge fan so like i don't like going to new york i'm you know if i i'm not much of a well-traveled person i'm gonna head up to calgary you know go

to a flames game i want to get real deep cow cow i would love to go to cal because bamf's not too far that would be amazing calgary is on uh is on the bucket list for sure but you know what one of my one of my favorite cities of all time is montreal montreal is amazing and if i had any any inclination or clue on how to speak french i would be going there all the time but i so i when i go there i get very confused and people people look at me like you you fucking american you'll you'll love this we sorry not to take us too far off but we had a client that bought our hard banding wire from montreal canada and they would submit the order via email and they would give me a number and I would have to call their freight forwarding company,

but it was all based in Montreal. And so I would get passed around six to seven times. Trying to find somebody who spoke English. Until they found the English speaker and the person might be in fucking HR and have no idea what is happening for the order. It was the funniest shit ever. I enjoyed it every single time. I'd like keep a little tally to see how many times I would get passed to another. Shipment to the US for XYZ.

And they'd be like one moment oh it was good stuff i really enjoyed that that was like a fun little wrinkle you know when you're working alone you got to find little things like that uh to pass the time but i fucking love montreal is great that's where coach t needs to go he needs to go to montreal yeah montreal or calgary we'll send him there. Or where, uh, um, where's letter letter. Kenny's in Ontario, right?

I think that's where they're set. The, the show is says in Ontario, like I care. I can't remember. Like, like central Ontario, like out on the,

on the boonies, the boonies. Yeah. Um, sometimes their hometown reminds me a lot of Wayne. A little bit smaller than Wayne. Central Canada is as Midwest as you get.

It's the Midwest, but then it's Canada, so they're even nicer. Yeah. Even less passive-aggressive. Yeah. Even less passive aggressive. Yeah. All right. So we go back to the game and Jace gets hooked. Penalty shot to end the game. That was their way of taking the kid out. Yeah. Oh, God.

I wish somebody would have, like, fucking fucked jace up that would have been amazing just like they did elbow to the head yeah gotta stretch her him out yeah got the got the arms get the the flight for life helicopter going you know jesus took that took a little fire brandon these are so kids my god but i'm just i'm trying this kid i want a fucking body bag on the ice i'm just trying to build the drama and the tension you know all right so we get the hook and we get a huddle and jay says no i'm not taking the shot so before we get too far, you know what? I just fucking realized again.

And I'm probably going to be wrong because I remember. We've been talking about this episode for an hour longer than we should have. Well, no, because I was going to bring up. So they in the second intermission, they didn't quack at all. Right. No fucking fly together. Nothing. And then I got to thinking.

And I'm probably i'm probably gonna be wrong because i was wrong about this in d2 and we got called out on tiktok for it they quack at the end i was getting ready to call they quack at the end but but i'm talking does anybody get called a cake eater this season no no did anyone in the oh yeah they banged in the last year and then yeah what i mean i i i we got called out called out on TikTok because I remember bringing that up for DTU. I didn't think anybody called anybody a cake eater. But everybody on TikTok, everybody and their fucking mother. At the very beginning, you want to play hockey, cake eater.

Play some real hockey, cake eater. Yeah, yeah. And we even talked about it. But in this, we did talk about it. But it wasn't that, you know, we didn't talk about it on the clip. So people didn we did talk about it but it wasn't that you know we didn't talk about it on the clip so people didn't think you know it actually happened but nobody yeah nobody calls anybody a cake eater this season right that's a real i don't have to tell you brandon i once again it's any form of expectations are stupid but they do they do um they get one

like you mentioned they get one. Like you mentioned, they get one final clacking at the very end. Yeah. They, it all comes down to Evan versus Canada goalie and he fakes left. He goes right. Wrister and ducks win. And, you know,

coach T is forever traumatized by the Morrow family. Or coach T dude. I feel terrible for him. You know, Coach T is forever traumatized by the Morrow family. Poor Coach T, dude. I feel terrible for him. You know, he didn't deserve this. He deserved better. Yeah, he deserved a better end. But it's cold on the ice, but it's warm in Nick's heart, Brandon, because we have a Ducks victory in front of a sold-out crowd.

Oh, the one thing I wanted to point out, for Evan's penalty shot, first things first, they take Jace down for the penalty shot exactly as time expires, right? Perfect. Perfect fucking timing. Brandon, it's the same as a goalie scoring in the final second to win the game. So I don't know what you want. It's right as time expires, because

that happens. They pick Evan, and then for Evan's fucking penalty shot, they turn off the lights. Yeah. Turn the lights. Drama. Drama is in the air.

And it wasn't like in D1 when they're showing the flashback to Bombay's penalty shot, the lights are off and it's like a spotlight. That I can excuse because it's like a flashback, right? He's remembering this, so it's like focused in.

But this, no, there's when they're picking Evan, in the middle of them picking Evan, the arena lights actually go off. I know. it was the weirdest it was amazing it was and then they put like they put the spotlight on like oh my what a what a what fucking bullshit dude go fuck yourself disney on ice is what was inspired that um ice capades out here yep anyways so game's over ducks win we got sophie getting hit up by a college scout

love that hope it's a hope it's a great school hopefully she was did they uh fighting bison or what were they what were the north dakota not um north dakota is the uh the fighting hawks now i think it's hawks hawks yeah yeah you're right there's a bird on that for sure it's for sure bird i can't i'm like 90 sure it's hawk eagle war eagle um you're bison you're thinking north dakota state is the bison oh yeah yeah football powerhouse and then uh south dakota state the jackrabbits yeah what about the university of south dakota you know that one uh boy it's a coyotes coyotes i used to vermilion is like 20 minutes from wayne one of my uh actually a lot of people go to usd from wayne okay i was gonna say one of my skills but i'm gonna take that back

i'm gonna say my only skill is uh college mascots i can i can pretty much name them all useful it gets a lot of traction on the the online dating apps because i list that as like my special skills people uh people always get a kick out of it nice all right well nothing wrong there all right so but evan finally gets thrown a a bone to Brandon and he gets a small school in Wisconsin interested. University of Wisconsin. Is that what I was trying to remember? No, no, no, no. They didn't say they just said a small school in Wisconsin.

Small D3 school in Wisconsin. Yeah, not not not Green Bay. Because UW Green Bay is Division one division one i know i was just kidding that was all the first school i thought i don't even know it's a d3 i don't even know i mean wayne state used to play all kinds of schools in minnesota i can't remember any if there's any the only wisconsin one i can think of is whitewater but that's d2 yeah that doesn't matter yeah um but i love i love what the scout says that coach cole said about evan got a high floor got a great seat got a high floor yeah i'm gonna check out that high floor low ceiling but high floor yeah i love that i'm gonna

i actually do fucking love that i'm gonna. I'm in addition to the mascot things. I'm putting that on my online dating thing. Let's see. High floor. High floor. Oh, I love that. All right.

So, and then Gertie, uh, we, then we're done and we're out and we're saying goodbye. I'll say one thing we didn't touch on that. They, they kept dropping little hints for is the,

the Sam Gertie love fling. And then they have the whole little conversation about him coming to visit her at the end here. 11-hour flight, one-hour layover in Juneau. Then once they get enough passengers and it's high tide, they'll take the seaplane out. So there you go. Yeah. Other than that, yeah. They win high floor. They'll take the seaplane out. Yeah. There you go. Yeah. Yeah. Other than that.

Yeah. They win high floor. Yeah. And then AJ and Coog bros for life. You two actual bro. So let's see that him and AJ and Cody. Everybody's saying goodbye. I love how they were playing.

And I don't know the name of the actual song, but they were playing the song that Michael Scott in The Office sings when Toby leaves. Goodbye, Toby. Goodbye, Toby. I forget what the real song is, but they were playing that real song. That's great stuff. Yeah. And then, yeah.

And then Jason, Sophie, oh, the glitch thing. You understand me in a way that no one else does i'm gonna mess you sophie you know why nobody else understands you jace because you don't talk to anybody else i don't know whatever that kid's the worst um but you know young love so fleeting and then nick and evan which nick calls out exactly what i called out in an earlier episode um where evan's like oh man you know sophie and he's like uh you're the one going back home on the rv with her yeah alex as the driver oh my god like if you are the steady hand that keeps the troops positive and he steps back into that leadership role

he could definitely win sophie over young love is fleeting exactly you know that's the grass is always greener. 100% until it's brown. Or dead. Or it needs to be reseeded. Okay. I'm trying to be optimistic here. God damn it. Let's be real, Brandon. The grass on the other side usually needs to be reseeded.

That's the finale, though. Everybody heads home. We can wrap this up. I have in my notes, again, huge, huge missed opportunity. I'm not sure it was a banner. It was the only thing. Oh, that's true. We see the banner.

We see Maya's banner with everyone's signature, and it's a real touching moment with Goodbye Toby playing in the background. thanks for listening everyone please remember to follow and like us on instagram at the cake eaters pod on twitter at the cakeaters. Also reach out to us via email thecakeeaterspod at gmail.com or visit our website thecakeeaterspod.com.