The Cake Eaters - 60. D2: New Ducks Join The Flock

Episode Date: June 20, 2023

Heath & Brandon continue their D2 deep dive conversations. On today's episode, the boys are talking about all the New Ducks that joined the flock in D2. They talk through the great shame of not playing Julie The Cat, Portman's unhinged behavior, Dwayne always staying strapped, Kenny's emergence as the third Bash Bro, how Russ and his brother James truly saved Team USA, and they call on the audience and/or EA Sports to finally settle the "Is Luis fast?" debate. Follow us at www.thecakeaterspod.com and on Twitter (@thecakeeaters) and Instagram (@thecakeeaterspod) Email us at [e-mail]

What does possible sound like for your business? It's having to spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with Business Platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and conditions apply. Visit amex.ca slash business platinum. It's not worth winning if you can't win. time for the new ducks to join the flock quack quack quack Time for the new ducks to join the flock. Heath. Quack. Quack.

Quack. Quacking around the clock. Heath. Quacking around the Christmas tree for the holidays? I mean, wrong holiday. I think we're at the end of June here. So we're not quite at Christmas in July time, Heath. Oh, we're getting close. I do.

This is way off kilter to start the show, but I do want you to know that while back in Nebraska, I played Hallmark, Christmas, Monopoly, and I came out victorious. um yeah basically that that first row you know i was the sole owner and had log cabins galore on that bad boy and so if you landed anywhere on that row you were basically fucked and paying me most of your money that has to be a monopoly version of a christmas monopoly of a Christmas monopoly, a Christmas version of monopoly has to be the most ironically on-point version of monopoly, don't you think? No, it's great. Because it's not only

it's a commentary on capitalism ruining the real estate market as well as Christmas. The spirit of Christmas. But anyways, let just wanted to... Let's ruin it all at once, you know? I just wanted

to throw that in there, but you know, quack, quack, quack, Brandon. A treat is upon us. First of all, I can't believe you didn't let Mama D win. That's gotta be her favorite game of all time, and you just bulldozed her over? Actually, in the final death

nail to mama d was when she landed on um might have been i think it was the cinnamon like cinnamon crunch way or something like that and um you know it's uh it's like a 650650 toll and she could not pay it. Or it may have even been more than that. So, you know, that'll happen. But anyways, Brandon, it's about to get quackalicious in your britches, just like Fergie always taught us, because we have new ducks

being introduced to the flock. Continuing our D2 breakdown. Thank God. It's just, you know, not to jump in here again introduced to the flock continuing our D2 breakdown thank god it's just you know not to jump in here again and get us off kilter but god Game Changers was just terrible and I hate that we had to

do it we hated it but it had to be done so anyways let's keep going back to the good and it cut off our D2 talk which was I think the most jarring part of the whole thing. I think we went from D2 Golden Cakeys right into Episode 1, didn't we? Yeah.

And it didn't feel good. And we even talked about it in Episode 1 of Game Changers, where we had this delectable dish of D2 mighty ducks, which one of my favorite movies for my childhood. And we were just, just riding the high of D2. And then we just got, it was like the comical stepping on the rake in the yard and just getting whipped in the face with that handle.

That's, that's how I felt breaking down game changers. So it feels good to be back. Back home where we're comfy. Back on the mountaintops. No rake to the face here. Not today, sir. No way. So in our

D2 continuation talks here, we're breaking down. We're going to go more in depth. I mean, if at all possible, because we went pretty in depth while covering the the minute by minute movie but we want to dive into some more individual topics here today's topic we're going new ducks where yeah we're talking specifically the i guess we can talk um or maybe we'll save that for another episode of forgotten forgotten ducks from one to two

we'll do that for another episode so yeah so today we're just talking new ducks yeah brand new ducks for d2 team usa there's what five is it five or six i forget it's like five it's five but russ uh it's wait hold on russ russ counts. Yeah. Well, because that's it. Louise, Dwayne, Julie, Kenny. I think it's five with Russ, right? Yeah. And that's it. It's four

and then Russ gets added later. Okay. That makes sense. Okay. Wait, no. Louise, Dwayne, Julie, Kenny, Portman. Russ. And then Russ. So it's six total. Five and six. Okay.

Five and six. Yep. Makes sense. We got there, guys. We got there. Yep. Jesus Christ. I forgot to plug in my mouse.

So I was kind of using this little keypad thing on the laptop, and it just got really inefficient for a second. We apologize. We second. We apologize. I'm completely unprofessional. I mean, I've been off work for six weeks. This is what you get as a little preface to getting back into the office. But anyways, alright, so we are going

to break down each new duck as they were introduced by our boy, Don. Big don tibbles i guess we could start with tibbles tibbles is technically a new duck well yeah loosely you know i didn't really take any notes on tibbles he just i mean i loved there are a ton of great highlights for tibbles though where um he gets knocked out and then orders the milkshake afterwards um there's the limo where where he pulls up in the limo um where he first introduces himself to bombay and he like drops the stick and he gives the kids a business card yep yep gives the kids the business cards when

he's learning to skate from yon and he goes flying into the stands he he he's singing we will rock you in the stands of the final game. Gives the Bash brothers their nickname that first game. He does. Yeah. We owe the Bash brothers to Tibbles, man. Yeah. He creates Hollywood Bombay.

Yep. Anyway, sorry. Shout out Big Daddy D, Don Tibbles. I was listening back to I think it was the Cakey's episode or it might have been

the canceled episode for Game Changers and we were talking about William Shatner for some reason and you called him Big Daddy Shat or something like that. I love some Big Bill. All right. But anyway, back to D2, back to the double Ds.

God damn it, Brandon. All right. So first up, we have. If you can say Big Daddy Shat, I can say double Ds. Okay. That's fine. So first up, we have Luis Mendoza from our Miami club, the Speedster. Okay.

So we're already got objections. We did the math. He's not a speedster. 1.9 seconds, blue line to blue line. Just one major problem, Brandon. He can't stop. Which is the most important fucking thing honestly um yeah that's it that's a real rough fatal flaw oh actually do you want to know the

statistically the top three nhl players from miami florida yeah i would love to i'm out of there do you have their blue line to blue line speeds as well no i could not find that on the excel spreadsheet but um i have and and i'm going to butcher all these names like i always do so saddle up for that so we have shane goss uh goss to be here goss the bear i think it's how you say it goss the bear I like to think of it as Ghost to be here. Ghost to be here. Shane Ghost to be here. It ends bear. I know that for sure.

And I think the first part is pronounced Gosta. I think it's Gosta Bear. Well, I like Ghost to be here. Yeah, and he's currently in the NHL, right? Yeah, I believe so. I can't remember. And then we have Quinn Hughes and Jack Hughes. They're from Miami? Yeah.

I did not know that. Yeah. So all three of those guys are currently in the NHL. Yeah, I didn't know the Hughes brothers were from Miami. That's interesting. Yeah, that's what this website said, and I hope I didn't click on the wrong thing so shout out to me for doing good research um and then i think they're probably from like fucking alaska i i think what we can agree on endlessly though is that luis's speed cannot be is unmatched it's unfathomable it's unmatched it's something that someone like you

brandon cannot even fully comprehend i can definitely fully comprehend it because i did the math equations for it remember i'm trying to i'm trying to scratch my brain because i broke down miles per hour was how fast he was using 1.9 blue line to blue line i think it was like seven if i'm remembering correctly i could be mis to blue line. I think it was like 7, if I'm remembering correctly, I could be misremembering, but I think it was like 17 miles an hour. Which I guarantee you one of the Hughes brothers

could beat. Well, they're also NHL players versus a 12-year-old. So, like, what, are you factoring that in? Why would I factor that in? Because that's a lot. it brain all right we're moving on it's you're if i if i if i remember correctly tibbles says he's the fastest skater he's ever seen and bombay says something along the lines of

no wrong for a 12 year old no you're thinking about duane robertson oh that's right slick dirty dangles brandy so no i didn't mean to you know aggressively tell you how wrong you were right there but you know put some respect on luis's speed man um if you can give me i'll tell you what, if somebody out there, if you can give me a – we'll say 21 years old. If somebody could accurately give me Luis's miles per hour or his blue line to blue line speed as if he was a 21-year-old, and based on that, we find out he's actually pretty fast. He's faster than most NHL players. I'll walk back my argument. But until we have up-to-date records and data,

I can only go off of what I know, Heath. I can only go off the data I have. And the data I have says Luis is fucking slow. Well, Luis's speed, Brandon, gets shown off. Or if somebody involved in the Junior Team USA, Brandon gets shown off. Or if somebody involved in

the Junior Team USA, if they can give me accurate blue line to blue line speeds for people of Luis's age, how old is he? 16, 17 in this? 14? I don't know how old they are.

I feel like they're like 13. No, they're older than that. They're like 15. I think they're 15. 14. I don't know. Portman looks like he's 85. Either way.

But I need – my thing is I'll walk back Luis's slow if and when people can give me up-to-date data. I need data. All right. I can't just – this isn't believing the earth is flat we just can't just start throwing out conspiracy theories okay i need hard evidence listen brandon all i can say is that after we were introduced to luis the speed mendoza, we get the scrimmage. Remember where Bombay runs the worst scrimmage I've ever seen in my entire life because he is cheering on the Ducks against the new Ducks. He's not even assessing talent or he is, he's actually commenting on how out of shape and shitty the Ducks are

playing compared to their counterparts. But Luis's highlight from this scrimmage is where he shows off that speed and completely wipes out Goldberg and very kindly says, hey, thanks for breaking my fall, man. And so that is Luis at the scrimmage. Yeah, it's great. Yeah, thanks for breaking my fall. It's fantastic. It's great stuff. And then his next, like the next time.

Oh, by the way, not, this is not all new ducks were created equally in airtime. And surprisingly, Dwayne seemed to have the most airtime. Dwayne and Portman. Luis, Kenny. Kenny didn't have any airtime after his intro until the bash. Until woo, woo, woo, Kenny, woo. Woo, woo, Kenny, woo. While you were bringing that up,

I was looking online. I was looking at Quinn Hughes here. First of all, you said he was from Miami, Florida. Yeah. He's actually from Orlando, Florida, according to. Oh, shit. I must say hit on the Florida statistics instead of.

So we're going to have to walk all that back. But his according to NHL 23, the video game, he has a speed rating of 93. I don't know how that translates to miles per hour, but I would imagine Luis's speed rating is somewhere in the 80s. Probably 97. No, it's in the 80s. 97 at least. There's no way 17 miles an hour is in the 90s.

You just don't know what you're talking about, Brandon. Do you think anybody's... I wonder... I doubt there's any actual data to find, but I wonder if anybody has actually rated out the Mighty Ducks players on NHL 23, like created them and rated them out, you know,

that would be good to look at for this, for this oddly specific argument we're having right now. Yeah. But anyway, you messed, you messed up the Miami, Florida thing already trying to, trying to figure out with,

with slow ass Louise here. So I'm just going to check you on Shane Goss despair. Oh, he spells it with a Y too. What a fucking prick. I like ghosts to be here. So ghost to be here is actually from Pembroke Pines, Florida.

Which may or may not be a suburb of Miami. I'm going to check here. Yeah, that's Miami. That's close enough. Oh, shit. This does say born in Florida. I've clicked on the wrong one. But Gossespierre is close enough.

Pimpock, Pines, that's a suburb of Miami. That's close enough. But the Hughes brothers are Orlando. So. But I'll forgive you. I'll forgive Orlando. So. But. I'll forgive you. I'll forgive you. I guess.

So, yeah, Luis. Luis. Can't. He's he's apparently he's fast for a kid. Not fast for an adult. That's obvious. And he can't stop. Which is like. And I think that was always such a weird thing that he can't

fucking stop going back through it was interesting to see that every person except for julie the cat had a fatal flaw because julie the cat's fatal flaw was that she didn't get any playing time her fatal flaw is goldberg that's her flaw yeah is it gold't get any playing time. Her fatal flaw is Goldberg. That's her flaw. Yeah. Is it gold is favoritism from, from Bombay. That was her fatal flaw. Yeah. Sexism.

Yeah. Honestly, that's everyone else. Great job, Steven Brill. That's a great, you know, great indictment.

Yeah. A great commentary on the state of, of hockey and sexism. And so each of them has a fatal flaw that gets highlighted in a game and then come back and fix at the end so i always thought that was fun well does does duane fix his well no duane's still showboat that gets leveled but anyway more or less Brandon more or less I guess he does turn down the showboat a bit

so we'll give him we'll give him the fix there but Luis does figure out how to stop with the with the pop cans and and you'll get to that spoiler alert we'll get to that but before that we have his flopping exposed. We literally spent 10 episodes talking about the movie.

I don't think we need spoilers in this year, Heath. It's a spoiler. The first Iceland game, he gets tripped into the boards. It's a pretty blatant trip, too. But he gets smashed into the boards, and he looks up, and he says, Come on, ref. but he he gets smashed into the boards and he looks up and he says come on ref so he took that was a nasty like digger into the boards he took yeah and it did look like he got tripped so you know that was a fair it was a fair assessment it's probably sanderson that sick

bastard i liked the no call i thought the no callcall was okay. There were much more egregious no-calls than that one. Oh, my God. When they trip Goldberg in front of the net, it does blatantly sweep his feet from under him. Yeah. But then our next interaction with Luis, and this is a good one, where Bombay is yelling at the team after the Iceland game. he's like you guys suck

and uh louise is like what about you out driving it around in convertibles with those sponsor fools better wake the fuck up bombay louise has got a message for you your your hollywood bombay shit may work on the old ducks but it ain't gonna work on the new ducks. No. Luis and Julie the cat sniffed right through it. So I like that. And the other after this, it's one of our favorite moments of the

entire movie. Luis is a part of it. And I forget the dude's name because it's street hockey. And we see his fatal flaw come out in street hockey again. And we see his fatal flaw come out in street hockey again. And we get Luis on the breakaway. And he goes flying into the fence. And we get, use the brakes, baby.

It's been so long since we talked about it. I forget the kid's name now. Use the brakes, baby, is easily one of the best parts of that movie. Just the way the delivery... I want to say the kids... I'm looking it up right now. I want to say the kids' name is like... Okay, Hector.

That's what it was. I remember. Came back to me. Hector and then James, which is Russ's older brother. The true Team USA coaches. Exactly. But yeah, Use the Breaks, baby, is fucking fantastic.

I love that. The whole street skating scene, top fucking notch, dude. Duh, tag team, there it is, playing in the background, for the love of God. It's just everything about it was beautiful. And James.

I guess we should have included James in this. Because he, like I said, he really is. We'll tax him on at the end. Because he really is coach. Because we'll talk about Russ at the end. So we'll tax him. James really is coach Team USA, though. He does everything Bombay wishes he was.

Yeah. I still, post-Street Hockey hockey i still can't just fathom that fucking bombay didn't almost made them forfeit oh yeah didn't show what's it was it the germany game was that what it was yeah yeah showed up halfway through the third period oh my god just like what the actual not but not not just not just like five minutes late halfway through the third period. Oh my God. But anyways, then we get, we get a montage, a training montage. You do want me to talk about from South Park? When they say that where we get Luis and Jan and I love this as a kid with the

pop cans, the stopping in front of them. But we talked about this. That's a lot of time and effort to stack those fucking things up and down over and over again. Because whoever's setting it up, I'm assuming it's Jan, is setting it up like shoulder height of Luis. That's a lot of fucking pop cans. It's not like a little.

That's a lot of time. That's a lot of fucking pop cans it's not like a little time that's a lot of effort yeah for because i god knows how many times he ran into that shit you know probably at least i would imagine it probably took him no less than like an hour and a half to finally stop in front of it yeah and that was like 10 deep yeah that's like 10 10 wide so not only was it high it was wide and then you're stacking them on aluminum on ice so it's gonna be slick on the slick surface like very precarious it's like a house it's a house of cards yeah and like they probably tumbled down a couple times before like you know he wasn't getting those up on the first try every time you know there is a certain amount of like dominoes and then you know um uh what is it is he is he dutch right is that what it is or slavic jan is he like just swearing in in in his native tongue it's norwegian first of all

norwegian damn it scandinavian that's what it is. And just, he's got a Dr. Pepper can, and he's almost done. And then he, you know, someone startles him, and he twitches, and then it all comes tumbling, and Whis doesn't even get a stop in front of him. He's like, oh, you strudel head. I imagine, because they only show, what three yeah three rounds of that yeah i imagine that's all that they were able to get up during production i imagine they were like they were like we're this this pop can thing is going to be so sick we're going to get a bunch of takes and then the last couple ones you'll actually stop in front of and then we'll edit it together and then i imagine they like what they put the first one together and he ran over it and then they were like fuck we gotta put this back together yeah and then they

were they were like okay maybe you know what i would have done if i imagine i imagine they cut it short they were like louise we can't do this anymore can you please just stop in front of it like what i would have done is like if i would have had like teams located on different sections of the ice. So like team one finishes their pop can set up and he runs and he crashes into it team. And then team one starts to rebuild theirs while he's crashing into team twos. And then he moves in and then team two starts to rebuild. And then,

you know, he just rotates through four sectors of pop cans. And we're taking, we wanted this to be quick. This episode is going to take fucking forever. If we're trying to figure out the production logistics of the. So what I, what I would, what I would have done, not necessarily production, production wise, I'm thinking if I was actually yawn, what I would have done. Right. production wise i'm thinking if i was actually yawn what i would have done right is i would have made a like a bead curtain situation out of the pop cans so you like hollow them out or whatever

and you put them all on a string and then you have like a crane or something like a forklift lower it down and then he tries he has to stop between before the curtain you know and then he has to stop before the curtain. And then he gets clotheslined by the forks of the forklift and dies. Obviously, you would build the curtain long enough to where the height is not an issue, Heath. Or you could. Driving a forklift onto the ice?

God, Brandon, that's horribly flawed. No, that would have worked perfectly. You have it above. But if you want that would have worked perfectly you just have the the you have it above um but if you want to talk real motivation for how for stopping is you put a fucking oh like a like a forklift crane or a wall right there right right by his head and you know you stop stop or you get clothes clothesline bro fucking your choice all right so after yawn my my works of magic teaches him to stop uh beaded curtain idea would have worked perfectly you don't know fucking anything okay that's a stupid idea i hate it it wouldn't work perfectly you just have you have to have the

forklift high enough that nobody's gonna run into it well you would have never known if he stopped or not a swift fart would have blown that around, you would have never known if he stopped or not. A swift fart would have blown that around and you would have never been able to gauge whether he stopped. Well, you would gauge if he stopped is if he, if he stopped, I'm just messing with you,

Brandon. I just, I just don't want to agree with it and say that I like it. I hope he run into a forklift. Wow. I probably won't anymore, but I could have before I, you know,

my old job. So wow. Brandon, I feel really attacked and targeted. Are you a, I could have happened to me 10 years ago. Are you forklift certified? Well,

not anymore, but I was, have you seen those? Have you seen those memes where it's like, I really, I really wanted a forklift certified t-shirt. Real bad. Like, real, real bad.

You know, because I was. I'm assuming there's like a life expectancy. The last time I was certified was in like 2015. Did they give you like a card? 2014. I did it so long ago, they just printed out your own certificate on the internet and signed your own name into it.

I did the course. It's just a video course too. I didn't even take a test. I just pretended I took a test. Because this is me doing it all. I just signed everything over. I was like, yeah, fuck it. I did this. And really the person that taught me the most was the fedex driver um he he actually was really nice and showed me a lot of tricks and tips on like how to load fedex trucks and super tight corners and windows that's good

he's probably sick he taken forever he's like i gotta this guy's taking goddamn who knows how long no it was no he was it because normally it it made his life easier by teaching me how to do that because then that's what I would do that's what I was saying like we had such big palettes that like if if I could help him maneuver other pickups that he had already gotten, then it would make his life easier. So I would kind of help him rearrange the truck a little bit when we got our stuff, too, sometimes. I bet on your forged certificate, though, it probably has an expiration date. I sure did. I sure did. Anyways. All right. So the, the last pieces where we see Luis really highlighted is the final Iceland game because Luis in the first half, when, when team USA is struggling, he falls when he's chasing Sanderson down from behind. They all get mashed up and he knocks sanderson into the goal

for a goal so so that's a real bummer but that's my goal the the shot of the movie that everyone will always remember luis from is when they come back out as the usa ducks yeah and it's the first one he's the first one and it's the the music is hitting its crescendo luis's first one out onto the ice and my god usa ducks quack attack is back jack you know all i could step and uh and then the next the next scene his next scene is pretty good too though well the night and then then we see where yawns hard work pays off and he's flying down the ice and all of a sudden that was my tire screeching slams on the brakes he hits the little bit of snow snow shower for the goalie. A little bit.

He douses that poor Iceland goalie. And then he's like, oh, my God, I stopped. And it takes Bombay being like, shoot the puck, Luis. And then boom, five hole. That's how much ice and snow that the Iceland goalie got in his eye is that Luis had the time to actually stop, celebrate him stopping, and then look over at Bombay who

tells him to shoot the puck. That poor Iceland goalie, he probably went blind. That's why they ended up losing the game. You can't see anymore. Shoot the puck, Luis! That's really good stuff. It's like, I'm going to that's really good stuff it's like um

that's a great fucking bombay dude oh that's good stuff good stuff all right so that's that's louise and so uh well calling out to all the listeners i need up-to-date speed data on louise oh my god we need to i need to we need to get to the bottom of this once and for all. I need to know Luis's NHL 23 speed rating. If anybody could give me that, that'd be great. Actually, let's reach out to EA and see if they can get

I'll send them a tweet. Can you slide into Twitter DMs? Is that a thing? Can you Twitter at them? And just be like, listen, full Ducks, like Mighty Ducks roster, first movie and D2, I think would be epic. Because we don't want to leave out Carp and Peter and everybody. We need every single movie.

Every single movie. Every single person who stepped on the ice for any of the movies I want ratings for. Yeah. And make a team of D1 through D3 Mighty Ducks for NHL 2K23. That would be fucking awesome. It's like a, you know, you can unlock it or something.

Yeah. I know they had, I don't know if it's NHL 23 or maybe it was an older one. They had like the jerseys available and you could like play as like the D1 ducks or something like that. But yeah, we need that. I can't imagine it would be too hard for ea

and um to figure all that out you know ai robots robots can do it just get the robots on it all right so anyways louise it's gonna be my new catchphrase just get the robots on it. Just kidding. Love it. Love it. But now, Brandon, we have our next new duck up. We have Dwayne Robertson, a.k.a. Hopalong Gretzky. Dirty dangles. I love that Jesse called him Hopalong

Gretzky. That's really good shit. He is from Austin, Texas, and I would say the NHL people from austin but it may accidentally be from texas instead of austin so i don't want to i don't want to you know throw myself under the bus so we'll move on but we have duane robertson yeehaw here i'll pull i'll pull a list for you is the first one Brian leech let me see I'm going I what are you looking at I forget what the site was called I closed it and just copied and pasted

I'm pulling up oh I did Quantum one so Elite Prospects is probably more accurate let's see we got these are older. Let's see here. Oh, gosh. Pop-up ads. Hold on. That's why I didn't use that one because there are too many pop-up ads. So I went to the second one. So I think that was a user error. It was my fault.

I don't think there's any. Did you come up with actual people? This is Brian Leach, Seth Jones, and Tyler Myers. But those might just be Texas. So Seth Jones grew up in Colorado. I know that. I don't know where he was born. Arlington, Texas, which is Dallas.

And Brian Leach is Corpus Christi. So those were just Texas Elite Prospects didn't have any NHLers From Austin ever We have a couple people in the minors And a couple Real good looking Junior players

Coming up So it won't be too long Keep your eye out for Cameron McEwen junior players coming up. So won't be too long. Like keep, keep your eye out for Cameron McEwen. Sounds good. He's on the Dallas stars, the lead under 18, triple 18.

It's going to be the next Dwayne. Well, speaking of Dwayne, he is the best puck handler I've ever seen. You mean for his age? No. Ever. Ever. Dirty fucking dangles, dude. But he does have a tendency to showboat.

And we see that time and time again. The dude is a fucking liability on the ice. And he... If Bombay couldn't corral that shit, he has to ride the pine. Like, that's just... Iay couldn't corral that shit. He has to ride the pine. That's just...

I do remember, because now that you bring up Dwayne having the most screen time, that does correlate because I remember while we were going through D2, us talking about why the fuck is Dwayne on the ice so much? He is on...

He's one of the starters. Every rotation. He's in He's one of the starters. He leads every rotation. Yeah. He's in the shootout for some reason. Yeah. And he does his fucking weird dangle shit and he's the only one that gets stopped. Well, not the only one. I think there's one other person that got stopped, right?

I don't think everybody made it. Yeah. I don't know. But yeah, Bombay had way too much faith in Dwayne. He got lost in the sizzle and forgot about the steak. I know. I think it's Bombay's... Now that we're going through this, because he doesn't play Julie the Cat.

He plays Dwayne more than Kenny Wu and Luis. I think we're coming to grips with Bombay's natural biases. His unconscious bias is really showing its ugly head in the playtime, in the ice time. Anyways, after we are introduced to Dwayne, we get the pre-California, pre-LA training session. And that's where Rancher Dwayne, why don't you round me up some stray cattle there? All right. Oh, together we stand united we are what a great fucking song i just sang all the wrong words but you know what i meant um oh yeah um uh yeah that that seems the best the fucking scene oh and um he ropes with baverman, Charlie, and Julie the cat. Bombay doing his weird little

line dancing? I was just going to say Dwayne is in front of the line dance and is leading the line dance. Oh yeah. He ropes Averman, ropes Charlie, ropes Julie the cat.

Everyone else dips, dives, ducks, dodges, and dodges. But then he, yes, he leads the line dance. And that's where Bombay does his little thing. He's like, I'm so silly. I'm a silly coach. And then the next time we hear from Dwayne it's when our boy Tibbs unveils the Wheaties box and he's like hi y'all that's us and Fulton hits him with the duh we know those are spot on spot on impressions thank you thank you um, also I wanted to throw this theory out there for you. And I don't know if we talked about this already, but Dwayne and Goldberg are best friends, became best friends on this trip. They, they became best friends on this trip. And it starts with the next scene where we see him because it's the shaving cream prank and it gets pulled on him by Goldberg, Kenny, and Luis.

And I actually, like, I made up a background story in my head for this scene. Where I like to think that they were just, you know, chit-chatting in the locker room. And Luis and Kenny are like, Goldberg, holy shit, man. Get ready to dorm up with Dwayne because not only does he sleep like a ton of bricks, but he snores like a freight train. Like this dude's out of control. Goldberg's like,

Oh, so we've got, we got a heavy sleeper that is going to cause us some disturbance. Listen here, gang. I got a plan for this evening. Let's shaving cream this son of a bitch and so that is what i like to think happened and what led to this that's my that's my story i love that like completely like just like spending so much time writing that that backstory for just a nothing nothing

um no I think they do the Dwayne and Goldberg do have the real team effort Dwayne Goldberg have a connection though for sure because you see it um in little pieces throughout the rest of D2 yeah and there's a few I'll talk through a couple more. If I remember correctly, granted, it's been a while since I've seen D3, but I feel like they have a few scenes in D3 where they're best fucking buds, too. Maybe. I don't know. This is the blossoming of a best friendship.

Goldberg and Dwayne. It makes sense. They're both, you know, they're jokesters. Smart Alex. Yeah. A couple so So and so's Philly and Texas You know they love each other Nothing better than those two guys

Getting together I mean but you would think Like you know You would have cowboys And eagles Exactly I mean they bond That's how they bond

Through the rivalry I mean that's One of my closest friends Is a Vikings fan Yeah Enemies to lovers Heath That's how it always goes Jesus Christ Okay If I enemies to lovers, Heath. That's how it always goes.

Jesus Christ. If I've learned anything from romance novels, that's how it goes. Yeah. Or Hallmark movies, enemies to lovers. Oh, my God. Well, actually, I watched a movie on HBO, and it was a movie about, like like Hallmark movies getting made. And so it was like this big, bad Hollywood producer goes to this, the movie studio to shut down the Christmas movie production.

And, and then like, they, they become a Chris. It's like a Chris, it's like an inception Christmas movie at the same time. The only thing that is like that like is the worst part about the movie is like this girl that's in it has the most like ear-wrenching voice that i've heard like i cannot believe someone in the studio was like yeah i could sit through an hour and a half of this. Like literally by the end, my parents were both like, you know, that was a really good movie, but that girl's voice is terrible. I mean, that's probably what they say about our podcasts. So, you know, it's solid, but those voices, we can't just, you can't do it.

Something my mom says. But I cannot stand movies about how great making movies are. You know those movies? Like Martin Scorsese makes one like every five years. That's why I'm not a big Martin Scorsese fan. Or like what was it? Babylon was another one that just came out. Like movies about making Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. Like movies about how once upon a time in hollywood like movies about how

cool movies are like it's just such a fucking like pompous self-congratulatory nonsense thing that it just fuck crazy yeah that's hollywood brandon i know i hate them i think i i don't want movies about movies i want movies about ducks and hockey or sharks I'm a sucker for a shark movie. I will say this back to what we were talking about. HBO, I just watched Deep Blue Sea again. Oh, that's a good one. Great. Sam Jackson, dude?

The shaving cream. LL Cool J? Brandon, I'm trying to bring us back to this shit. Did you ever listen to the LL Cool J rap from that movie where he raps about being a shark? you ever listen to the LL Cool J rap from that movie where he talks, he raps about being a shark? No, but I love LL Cool J.

Go look up that song. I think it's called Had is Like a Shark's Fan or something. Just Google LL Cool J Deep Blue Sea song. It'll pop up. Do yourself a favor. Watch that music video. It's amazing. The music video will literally tell you the entire plot of the movie as well. So you don't even need to watch the movie. Just watch the music video it's amazing the music video will the music video will literally tell

you the entire plot of the movie as well so you don't even need to watch the movie just watch the music video all right so shout out ll cool jay we should try to oh i'm gonna that's i'm gonna try to get ll cool jay as part of my uh game changer season. He's going to be a character. We're on the second new duck and it's been like 35 minutes. Because you keep talking about nonsense, Heath. Let's go. I do want to say, everyone tried the shaving cream prank with

zero to no success after this movie. And it's because as soon as you put the shaving cream on the hand, everyone wakes up. Anyways, so then the next time wakes up yeah like it's just anyways um so then the next time we see him it's more duane and goldberg shenanigans this don't look like no rodeo drive to me like listen you can't fool me that says rodeo he's not wrong and so you know this is and this is where we get our little, you know, our little show for the boys before they get kicked out.

Hank Aaron's nephew's fashion show. It wouldn't be a nineties kids movie without them either hitting on or being hit on by an older lady. Yeah. That's normal. Back to blank check again. And then we get the first. We also get the Iceland game where Dwayne is showboating and just gets absolutely blasted. That comes back again. Goldberg and Dwayne being best friends.

Another point for that. He volunteers to mutiny. First person to mutiny with Goldberg. He says, Goldberg, I'm too tired to mutiny First person to mutiny with Goldberg He says Goldberg I'm too tired To mutiny So he's not volunteering Well he's just I think he says that wrong

But he's jumping in he's all about it Okay I'll take your word for it Yeah and they're best friends Brandon they're best friends And Then we get the final Iceland game he gets destroyed showing off again

that's what happens the first then classic Dwayne we get Dwayne you know the chivalrous cowboy Dwayne where Sanderson is gunning for Connie and he jumps off the bench for a penalty and he gets two minutes

for roping but this is where he gets the where I'm from we treat ladies with respect I'm no lady I'm a duck I love that he I love that

he just always He always stays strapped As the kids say He's always got the rope Ready at all times What do you like to say Brandon If you stay ready you don't gotta get ready My god

And then we I do love that scene Before he even gets on the ice where like she's about to get wrecked and it's him on the bench it cuts him on the bench and it cuts down to right up right next to him literally right by his side it's a rope and he looks at it and then he grabs it's just it's always right always right there you always gotta stay strapped You gotta have that thing Have that thing on you at all times Oh my god

And then we get Dwayne In the locker room With my favorite quote of the movie And when the roosters are crowing And the cows are spinning circles in the pasture Ducks Fly together Yeah that's all Dwayne and then we get dwayne sets up

the alley oop where you know thanks to our good friend vladi divac uh divas he learned how to alley you banks for the goal charlie learned how to-oop, and then he teaches it to Dwayne. He draws it up for Dwayne to do it. It's beautiful. Thanks to Vlade. Beautifully executed by Dwayne. Yeah. And then the shootout.

That's not an easy pass to just alley-oop it like that. And to do it in a straight line i'm assuming it was like pretty sure because it had to be because it went right to where it's tripped yeah yeah perfect beautiful and then uh but in the shootout he does get stopped when he's got those he's just bouncing the puck around gets the dangles but one thing that I forgot about is Dwayne campfire scene. He's the one playing the guitar. Oh, is he? Yeah.

Dwayne is our guitarist. That makes sense. That makes sense. I mean, he is from Austin, Texas, you know, probably a big, big Garth Brooks fan. Maybe George Strait. Well, George Strait for sure. Well, I mean sure what's Travis what's the Travis guy

that's been arrested a hundred times terrible mug shots Travis Randy Travis Randy Travis Garth Brooks all the way I'm calling Baton Rouge,

but, um, all right. So that's Dwayne. Thunder rolls. One of the top five greatest songs ever written, dude. Oh my God.

That music video. Yeah. Friends in low places. That's a great song too. Uh, but anyway, what's, uh,

blame it on my roots. Is that what it's called? Yeah. Yeah. That's a great song. Dude. Garth was the man yeah anyways um duane brought a lot to the this was a new duck that brought a lot to the table

both on and off the ice yep most most screen time which sounded weird at first but the more you think about it and the more you realize how much bombay favored him makes sense portman got a ton of screen time too so well because it's a bash brother you know but poor louis and kenny and i mean poor poor julie the cat never had a chance well and that's who's next um and we've lamented about julie the cat, but she is up next. And she was a state champ in Maine for three years in a row. Hell yeah. From the great city of Bangor, Maine. Yep.

And I don't know too much about Maine other than I just, I, Portland, Maine is next up on the old docket for places I want to visit in the U.S. You should go to Bangor instead, for sure. Well, I think that's a little bit trickier to get to, but that's here and right there. I don't think so. Portland, Maine. Seems fun. Portland, Maine. Yeah, I'm not too familiar with Maine, although I do know it's beautiful when it's not wintertime.

And when it is wintertime,'s a very much a Stephen King novel and you want to stay away from there yeah and that's a lot of ghosts just like Savannah a lot of ghosts yeah I feel like 95% of Stephen King's books are based in Maine yeah you mentioned that I think yeah

okay it does look like Bangor is quite a bit away from Portland but you can just take I-95 right up there Bangor is a little more inland But still right on a river Still looks gorgeous Nice little Cathedral

Yeah Small town New England Gotta love it I wish they would have elaborated more On how she got the nickname The Cat You know Luis was the speedster

And Dwayne was The handles And Julie the Cat was the state champ Three years in a row So we get it But it could have been it could have been like more fun, right? Like Julie, the cat. She's so she's so quick.

She did. No one is past her goal as a pastor in three years or something. Well, they call her the cat because it's a combination of her. Reflexes. Like cats have really fast reflexes. so she's really great at goalie. Isn't there like a... I feel like there's like a famous cat character from like a cartoon or something that's named Julie, though. Isn't there something like that

let's google real quick i could be totally making it up um julius the cat was like an an old Old timey cartoon cat Maybe that's what I was thinking of Was Julius But okay never mind then I doubt that's what they were going for But yeah I think it's just based on her quick reactions

Because she's so good Because she won the state championship Three years in a row And then in the scrimmage Julie the cat stops everything except for one bank school. And Bombay ignores all the saves and then celebrates banks scoring on her. I'm fucking celebrating. It bugs the shit out of me.

And then the next time we see Julie the Cat after the scrimmage is when she's dropping into Bombay's office post air Bombay conversation on the phone where he's like, you know, Goldberg's on a hot streak. I got to stick with the hot hand and give it time and you'll show the world. I promise. Yeah, but. I mean, literally the last fucking play yeah she does I guess but well and Bobby she brings up a great point in that

when she's talking to him and she's like I came all the way to butt fuck California you're not even giving me a fucking shot yeah it's like if I could go home and not play yeah what a disaster but you know when the then we get the first iceland game

where she is put in way too late way too late like it is too little too late and then she and then the ref the ref totally was way too quick on the trigger where she gets thrown out before she even gets started. Or they, cause the Iceland dudes are like sending a woman to do a man's job. Don't break a nail. That's what I sounded like. And then she's like, can, can you help me with my pads boys? And they're like, Oh yeah. They give each other the eyebrows you know like the eyebrows and

then she just she gives them a quick little check and shot and then we get the ref come flying in that's intent to injure you're out of the game young lady i know that that ref was on a real real something because he because immediately afterwards sanderson actually intends to injure Banks and gets a minor, two-minute minor penalty. Two-minute minor penalty. And he had already thrown Portman out, too, for accidentally touching him. Yeah. That ref, he's probably from Iceland. Wolf the dentist had a member of his family or something held hostage.

There's a deep-seated duck sequel where Wolf the dentist kidnapped that ref's family member. And that's how the U.S. got such unfavorable refereeing. It's the same ref in the final game though so unless he i guess you could i guess that's how that's how you that's the resolution to the movie is you you would save his so somebody would save his family before the final game and then we get a fair fair call yeah that will yeah he wouldn't be biased against iceland at that point you know yeah um and then uh but my my favorite is portman is doing the epic temper tantrum and julie the cat comes in she just calmly says i know how you feel yeah yeah that's yeah he's spinning the entire uh first period just

destroying that locker room. That is such a great hair. It's just calm, cool, and collected. Again, like a cat. She's like, I got you. I know. Good shit. She is by far,

in addition to her being a fantastic goalie, she is far and away the most emotionally mature person on the team as well. 100%. Because she called Bombay out too, remember? Yeah. Wolf the dentist was prepared. This is after this game.

Wolf the dentist, he was prepared. Yeah. They actually watched tape and practiced. They were ready for us. They knew us. Yeah, they knew exactly what we were going to do. And then the next new duck that we get introduced to post-Julie the Cap is Woo Woo Woo Kenny Woo. Are we going to skip right over the shootout?

Oh my God, I almost forgot the shootout. Yeah. We're talking about one Iceland game. We need the second Iceland game. The second Iceland game. Are we going to skip right over the... Oh my god, I almost forgot the shootout. We talked about one Iceland game. We need the second Iceland game. The second Iceland game. And we... We get a little bit of Julie the Cat, where Banks defends her honor. We'll talk about it with Portman more.

When she's like... Her and Portman get into it during the... The players-only meeting. Yeah, but Bombay says Julie you got this shit on the last one he's gonna go glove side he's fancy

and then you know one two three triple nothing because glove save and a beauty and nothing the the dramatic like catch

the sound of the puck hitting the glove and then the pause and then the flip up of the puck and then then the team rushes out and Charlie and her wipe each other out onto the ice it's good stuff.

Yeah. Hero of the day. Yeah. Julie the Cat. Miss America. Mistreated. Misused. But a winner in the end. Yeah. Julie, yeah. I mean, we beat it to death during the the entire thing she should

have been playing from the start goldberg had no goddamn business being in there um and even after even after bombay turns the corner and ditches hollywood bombay he still doesn't fucking put her in yeah unbelievable unbelievable anyways all right so now we have kenny woo um and tibbles in bombay is like is that the figure skater from the olympics and this is where we learn that tibbles has got you know he's a salesman through and through and he convinces kenny that there's more opportunities in the in hockey yep to come to the dark side um to hockey do they say if he meddled in the olympics okay no they just said he's isn't that the olympian okay yeah um and then we don't actually hear back from Kenny again until the first Iceland game.

When we get Bombay, Kenny, we're in trouble. What do you got for us? And then he spouts the fucking nonsense. I've got it. Triple aerial with the double Hamill camel. That should split the D then a pirouetting half toe touch for the goal. Yeah. If I remember correctly.

Yeah. He gets fucking destroyed. touch for the goal yeah if i remember yeah he gets destroyed but if i remember correctly because i i have a very very bare minimum knowledge of figure skating and i believe when that when we crossed that portion of the the episodes we talked about i broke it down the only thing that he said in that whole entire spiel that actually made any sense um, what was it, a Hamill Camel? What was it called again? Yeah, Double Hamill Camel. I don't think a double is a thing, but a Hamill Camel is a real thing. But everything else he said in that was just nonsense words that didn't make any sense. And he deserved to get fucking dump trucks for that.

Yeah. But yeah. And then, and then Kenny, my favorite, we forgot the best part of that whole entire thing is he gets, he goes out there, he gets fucking dump trucked and then he skates back to the bench and

Bombay goes, was that it was that it and he just yep yeah and then we get street puck with Kenny and that's where he learns that where where James treats him like a dog come on come here boy

I'm coming for you I'm gonna get you I'm gonna get you and that's where he learns stick gloves shirt and our third bash I'm going to get you. And that's where he learns stick, gloves, shirt. And our third Bash brother is born. Because final Iceland game is where Kenny just blossoms into the chaotic neutral that he is. And he. I wouldn't say neutral.

He goes pretty fucking ballistic. Yeah. And it starts. He fucking throws a punch on the goal at the goalie. I wouldn't say neutral he goes pretty fucking ballistic yeah and it starts he fucking throws a punch on the goalie and I forgot to include this with Dwayne and here's another proof why Dwayne and Goldberg are best friends before the final Iceland game

where Goldberg is calling the game and they talk shit and he's like hold me back hold me back because Kenny's like dude that guy would kill and he's like, hold me back, hold me back. Because Kenny's like, dude, that guy would kill you. He's like, yeah, I know, but at least pretend to hold me back. And that's Dwayne and Kenny

holding Goldberg back. So Dwayne and Goldberg, best friends. Best buds. And then after Sanderson gets a penalty, he says, get in the box, you big goon. I like that.

And then in the final game, we get him. He hits the triple aerial with that double Hamill Camley splits that D and then with that half pirouetting toe touch, Fulton rips him the past. Pretty cool. Boom.

Nailed it. And then right after the goal. He picks a fight with the goalie. He's talking shit to the goalie and the goalie starts running up on him. And so he's like, oh, really? Okay. Stick, gloves, shirt. And then he says, two minutes.

Well worth it. I brought it up when we were talking again, when we were talking about it. But the fact, I mean, I feel I felt bad for the Iceland goalie that entire second game. Because he gets the... A, he gets the slap shot from Fulton to the dome. Luis, like we talked about, fucking showers him on ice.

He gets beat up by Kenny. And now one of his goddamn teammates comes to his defense. Like, where's Sanderson to be like, Hey Kenny, don't touch my goalie. Yeah. It's rough. It's rough stuff.

That's the number one rule, man. Don't touch the goalie. Kenny, Kenny should honestly, for what Kenny did, where he scored a goal and then threw an unnecessary punch at the goalie. There's no logical reason for him to not have

left that arena on a stretcher. Yeah. If I was Sanderson, I probably would have tried to legitimately kill him. Yeah. Old Yeller. I'm taking him out on the back. I mean, yeah, that's, that is an instant fight. You just,

you can't, that's, I mean, how many times do you see that? Whereas somebody just, they skate up trying to punch in the rebound. You see him like start. Yeah.

You see him barely touch the goalie and people freak out. Like if you were to actually throw a punch at a goalie, like it would be chaos. Oh, especially from Sanderson. He's a fucking psychopath. Yeah a psychopath yeah like yeah but either way kenny wu the third bash brother and then we don't really hear from from kenny we just see him in the bonfire singing with everybody well yeah because he was in the he was in the box yeah for the for

the the the end there yeah because he was no yeah he he wasn't in the shootout. No. You just see him in the background of the campfire scene. Yeah. Cool. Well, that moves us into our final pre-trip new duck.

And that is Dean cut off sleeves on my hockey jersey. Portman. From Chicago, Illinois. The enforcer. Cutting off the sleeves so you can see my tattoo. Yeah, the skull and hockey sticks. I think it was a goalie, Matt.

It was a goalie and hockey sticks, but in the form of a skull and crossbones. Yes. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. And he's like, and in Bombay immediately, I don't like going, he's like, down on my team. And Tibbles is like, listen, man, he's an enforcer. You're going to need him for Iceland.

So just get over it. Boy, did they. Oh, my God. And my favorite, well, there's a lot of favorites from Portman, but in his introduction where he comes out singing, don't you know that everything's on fire? And he's just knocking everyone down, puts Kenny up on top of the goalie. Just absolute chaos of an introduction. Just a goon um that intro the when he skates onto the

ice with his sleeves cut off he's using the the hockey stick for air guitar and then he just starts punching everybody it's amazing it's the best entrance ever and then we get followed up where fulton hits timbles in the head or no yeah Timbles gets knocked down because we get introduced to uh Miss McKay and that's where we hear Portman chime in I don't need no school when Goldberg is is trying to talk about um. And then, of course, my favorite part of the movie as a very small child was when we have the team doing the group skate

and everyone starts to little sniff like, Goldberg, it wasn't me. No, it was me. And just in all his glory owns that big old me. And just in all his glory owns that big old fight and him and Fulton both trying to lead. They're arguing when they're tied together, left, right, whatever in between.

But the, the Trinidad game are good friends from Trinidad. That's where the bash brothers are released for the first time. Yeah. good friends from trinidad that's where the bash brothers are released for the first time yeah and that's where we see um them putting their their headbands on and they get the fist bumps um oh wait actually no yeah and because they score a goal together and then they're taking bows scoring goals it's good shit bash brothers and i think that might be oh no later the final iceland game is where they yell party that's my favorite yeah and they clothesline a dude and then they skate by the benches and then everybody um the the bash Brothers sleep routine is also amazing. That's a great one.

Where a little tunage to sleep to after they like chug some water. And it's you ain't seen nothing yet. I don't know. At like an 11 volume. Oh, my God. So, so good. Then we see Portman and Fulton sneaking out where they basically say that no curfew can hold them back. To mack on some honeys, man.

Yeah. No curfew can hold them back. Oh, and that's where they hear the green light. What does he say to the two girls with ice cream walking in front of him? And Portman says something to him, right? No, Fulton says, hey, ladies, nice night for a stroll, isn't it? Oh, yeah, that's right.

And Portman's like, oh, dude, yeah. Killed it. Killed that. But that's where they hear the Iceland is very nice conversation. Greenland is full of ice, but Iceland is very nice. Like your state of Minnesota.

Spot the fucking traders. Benedict Bombay. That's son of a bitch. And then that's where they're calling him out in the locker room, not without a little dessert. Huh, coach? And then with it, then we get

Portman in the Iceland game and we mentioned a little bit charges with intent to injure thrown three seconds thrown out three seconds into the game. That's where his locker room tantrum begins. I brought it up at the when

we talked about it like that. He should not have been ejected for that. He shouldn't even got a penalty. It was he accidentally backed up into the ref i think that he did it accidentally on purpose i don't think so i don't think he knew it was the ref he was he had just done a face-off they blew the whistle dead or whatever and then he had the ref first of all because he charged that dude after the face-off the The ref fucking put his hands on Portman first. He put his hand on his shoulder. He didn't know if it was an Iceland guy

or a ref, and so he turned around. I believe the ref for that. Well, the locker room tantrum, the breaking of the stool is all amazing. The stool is amazing. The stool the stool is amazing the stool break is

so good but let's not forget that he goes into the crowd in street clothes and tries to jump over the penalty box to fight sanderson in the middle of the game that he was ejected from so so that's that's why we love port that's a yeah that's amazing that's yeah the fact that he he changes in um into his his civilian closes and then tries to jump into the penalty box with sanderson amazing classic and then we get another classic line from him after that, when they're doing the training, when Bombay is nowhere to be found. He's like,

and when him and banks get into it and he's like, don't tell me how to talk rich boy. If he would have said cake eater. Oh, it would have been so much better. Yeah. I mean, he's from Chicago.

He doesn't know the Minnesota slang. Yeah, exactly. And then right after that, he's like, look, from chicago he doesn't know the minnesota slang yeah exactly and and then right after that he's like look that kid's crazier than me look fulton that's a great one just don't listen to him he's crazier than i am um and then we have my least favorite newspaper headline in the history of newspaper headlines when they're like mark's brothers no it's the bash brothers what the fuck terrible um and then it's the final iceland game and that's where we get bash brothers craziness party clothesline they should have been honestly him and Fulton for stopping the game to celebrate Kenny Wu getting into a fight and then doing what they did they should have gotten thrown out that

actually should have been thrown out what Julie and him were thrown out for the first game that wasn't worth it but this they could have thrown them out for that for stopping to celebrate um because they did throw them in the penalty box. They should have been thrown out for that. Or they should have been thrown out for smashing everybody on the bench's head when they skate by. That's all of them.

Yeah. But yeah. And then the last time we see Portman is when him and Fulton No, yeah, it's Portman's Maybe it's, I know it's Goldberg, Charlie, and Portman But they lunge down when they're singing We Are The Champions Oh, yeah, yeah

Yeah, and the campfire scene Yep, Portman belts it out That news he's background, dude, he belts out some Some queen Of course, how could he not But yeah, that's Portman belts it out. That Newsies background, dude. He belts out some some queen. Of course. How could he not? But yeah, that's Portman. Bash Brothers, man. Him and

Julie the Cat's my favorite if I had to pick one. But Portman's a very close second. Portman's probably my favorite. Any excuse for us to do the Newsies? I don't love it. He does great in that movie, too. All right, and so now we have our final new duck,

who is not introduced by Tibbles, but is introduced during Russ Tyler from L.A. He's introduced during the... South Central L.A. Yep. And he's introduced... Just and he's introduced specific here he's introduced in the Trinidad

game where the Team USA is getting fired up because they're kicking ass taking names and he says yeah high five some more man my little brother could score on these guys and then Jesse you know gives him you know

bother him then or Trinidad and Tobago fucking catching strays right here just getting obliterated by Russ yeah well he's making fun of Team USA and he's making fun of them he's making fun of them through Trinidad and Tobago you know

it's like they didn't deserve this he hadn't seen them celebrate yet that's true but then that's where he hits him with the ha ha ha ha I ain't even got a little brother and then Bombay's like hey

Jesse go out there show us you want it son let's go and then I love this where go out there. Show us you want it, son. Let's go. And then I love this. Russ is like, yeah, show us you want it, son. Go. And then he's like, oh, okay. I'll just slink back after Bombay glares at him. So that's how we get introduced to Russ.

He has some great lines, especially trash talking from the stands. Like the, I don't even got a little brother. It's a great one. And then when he's yelling at Goldberg and he's like, I bet if that puck was a cheeseburger, you'd stop it. Yeah, that's during the first Iceland game. And then

when Jesse gets a penalty after that shit talking and Russ is like, oh, he dissed you bad, G. Because that was after Deliberator scored the goal. Yeah, and then

he's picking a fight with Jesse through the penalty box. He blows a raspberry on it, doesn't he? And he's like, he dissed you bad, G. No, he golf claps during the Italy win Which is, or no, raspberry, sorry Yeah

Raspberry On the glass of the penalty box He's like, he dissed you bad, G The germs And then after that The next time we see him He's like, oh, you know It's a pretty good win against Italy

And they're playing the Italian music Goldberg just got done yelling at them about their meatballs slowing them down what does he call them um hey paisan meatballs slowing you down how do you say in italiano uh wussy oh that's good stuff um but then we get the uh iceland game and that's where he's like hey goldberg i bet that puck was a cheeseburger he'd stop it and then um the next time we see him for the street hockey challenge he's like hey team usa what are you gonna do a million jumping jacks i love how he sneaks in to the the area where

they're uh where they're fucking draining uh and well and he's and then he picks a fight with the security guards like get your hands off me well and i love that the security he's on skates so the security guard is just gently pushing him backwards as he's sliding back um but you know russ was sick and tired of usa being represented by a bunch of whining babies yeah he had a point he had a great point and he told charlie he's like listen you slug some water and you get back out there and do it again exactly don't be celebrating Celebrating your goals. Unless you got to steal drum. Yeah. Don't celebrate. Exactly.

And then, you know, with that great street ball tryout in an open roster spot, Charlie shows us why he's always said he makes a great coach. And we're going to fill it with Russ. And Russ is absolutely shocked that bombay hasn't heard of his knuckleback the shot that we were just introduced to on the street i forgot about that you never heard of my book and then immediately the next thing we see is a game against russia it's knuckleback time um and then course, we know he keeps his roster spot thanks to Charlie

sacrificing when Banks comes back. The ultimate captain move by Charlie. And then, you know, the final Iceland game, the first time he tries the knuckle puck, he gets stopped.

And then they stop him again in the the first time he tries the knuckle puck, he gets stopped. He gets scouted. And then they stop him again in the boards. And then Bombay calls the timeout. And we've got the old switcheroony play, Brandon, which we know is all the types of illegal and would never work. And I still like to picture Goldberg hiding on the bench and the other players blocking him from view from the Iceland team.

That's how I like to picture it. We got the old switcheroonie for Juggaloo for the winner. And that's Russ Knucklepuck all day. He was not involved in the game. Not the winner, the game tie. The game tie that sends it to the shootout.

Yep. Sends it to the shootout but he does not fly back with the team to Minnesota. He stays put in LA. He's not at the campfire scene. Okay. I'll say he does end up he does fly to Minnesota. He ends up going to Eden Hall at D3. But he was not in the

camp fire scene. Interesting. That makes sense, though, because he wouldn't have been on any of the pre-purchased flights for the other people that would depart. Yeah, because I mean, there's definitely no way to get a flight from LA to Minnesota.

Not in 1994. No, Hendrick's can't do that. Impossible. there's definitely no way to get a flight from la to minnesota not in 1990 94. no hendrix awesome they're they're uh what is their travel travel agent is he really not in the campfire scene at all yeah i didn't i didn't see him there that's just i made a note but um yeah and that's that's our final that's our that's our ducks ducks This is where we gotta shout out James While we're talking about Russ I do want to talk about James Because James and the soul skating Street puck

We talked about this at length During our breakdown But that's really what switches Team USA around It's not Bombay and his fucking bullshit It's James Hector and the Soul Skaters. Soul Skaters for life, baby. Yeah. Soul Skaters for life.

And they got Team USA back on track. Yep. You know. Yep. Back on track. Russ becomes a fucking He ends up going to He gets into a private school in Minnesota

On a hockey scholarship This dude's from South Central LA What a great Older brother mentoring job James does Beautiful moment Him and Hector man Not the

Not the coaches we Des, but the ones we needed. Between Russ, Portman, Julie the Cat, and Luis, these new ducks provided us some amazing sidebar movies to break down. Some great sidebar movies. And all of them are in D3. Every single one of them continues the D3. Yeah. And that's beauty.

Portman with an asterisk. But, you know. Yeah. That happens. We'll get to that. But, yeah. All of them, great, great additions. Yeah, that happens. We'll get to that. But yeah, all of them, great, great additions.

They built out the characters pretty great. Like Julie the Cat, Portman, built out very well. And then the rest of them, just enough to give us all the background we needed.

And they kept going to the next movie. So yeah, I mean, every single one of them was a great addition. I would not... I wouldn't change a single one. I wouldn't give Dwayne like one highlight on the ice instead of it

just always him getting murdered. I guess he alley-ooped i i guess yeah and the roping no that's true the roping is amazing yeah that's better than any goal you could you could hope for that's good stuff i think portman provided some of my favorite moments out of all the new people though or yeah foreman's foreman's great the bash brothers love the bash brothers the two niche to fall asleep to yeah that's important was awesome all of them were top notch even even for as slow as louise is he was great. Don't talk about Benny the Jet like that. Woo, woo, woo, Kenny Woo is amazing. Yeah, that was good. Woo, woo, woo, Kenny Woo.

The third Bash Brothers. That was an amazing storyline. There you go. Fantastic. It was a great new addition to the flock. Can't ask for better, really. And like you said all of them give us some solid movies well except for kenny kenny and dwayne they uh didn't really do much acting after this or after the ducks but uh portman uh kenan. And then Julie, the cat and, and,

uh, and Luis, I'll give a solid, solid movies, um, that we can go over, you know? Yeah.

Yeah. Portman gives us two of my faves, you know, goofy movie newsies, good burger. Oh my God. I cannot wait to dig into good burger. We have to do that one.

Yeah. We'll do that. He's a dude. We'll do that one. We'll do Rookie of the Year soon for sure. The next episode we got coming is Luis as well as Jesse. It's going to be a 4th of July special edition

of the pod, The Sandlot. Because I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I used to be free Okay I'm just kidding I'm just kidding Remember because

I've been really falling in deep dives In those conspiracy theory things Yeah, you and your flat earth Have you seen There's the one where like the flat earther is like delivering an argument and he like through his argument he like proves is it is it the one where he's trying to like see the curve over yeah yeah and he ends up proving that it's actually around. Yeah. That's my favorite. Like the look of,

Oh damn it. This isn't what I wanted. That's that's good stuff. The flat. I, I, I definitely don't. What is it? I don't,

I don't discount every conspiracy theory. Cause I, what's his name? Have you ever heard of ron funches yeah oh yeah he's a comedian he has the conspiracy where he's like he's like i i understand not believing in all conspiracy theories but to not believe in any that's that's crazy to believe our government is batting a thousand? Yeah. That's a strong stance to take. Yeah. And I love how he goes, he's like. There's literally thousands of pages of declassified documents backing up.

And then he's like, the best part is he's like, the government's in charge of running people's lives. Me as a father, I'm in charge of running one person's life. And I lie to that guy all the time. You gotta do the little white lies, right? Like Santa Claus. It's the biggest white lie of your childhood. Yeah, exactly. But the flat Earth one cracks me up because it's just so

stupid. The real stupid ones that people somehow get sucked into crack me up. Those are my favorite. Those are my actual favorite ones. It's crazy.

The more insane and outlandish, the funnier it is to me. Yeah. New decks, new ducks, old ducks, you know, blue ducks. No.

What is... Yawn. With new ducks and old ducks, we unite under a new banner. Thanks for listening, everyone. Please remember to follow and like us on Instagram at TheCakeEatersPod, on Twitter at TheCakeEaters. Also reach out to us via email, Thecakeeaterspod at gmail.com or visit our website, thecakeeaterspod.com.