The Cake Eaters - 61. The Sandlot

Episode Date: July 4, 2023

In honor of the 4th of July, Heath & Brandon breakdown the timeless classic, The Sandlot. Today's episode starts with Heath seducing us through song, then the boys talk through the real lack of Pickle Rundowns in life, how this movie may be the best period piece in cinematic history, the death grip of a childhood nickname, the greatness of Hercules, the scary world of conspiracy theories, and of course The Great Bambino. Follow us at www.thecakeaterspod.com and on Twitter (@thecakeeaters) and Instagram (@thecakeeaterspod) Email us at [e-mail]

What does possible sound like for your business? It's having to spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with Business Platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and conditions apply. Visit amex.ca slash business platinum. It's not worth winning if you can't win. me out to the ball game singing like maryland mom rose saying happy birthday Mr. President take me out to the ball game Mr. President

Mr. President is wildly unnecessary wildly the mr president at the end is wildly unnecessary wildly unnecessary but we can just we just like i'm keeping that in we're we're that's how it's starting is that oh but uh everyone this is the cake eaters podcast everybody happy fourth of happy 4th of July happy America Day capitalism wins another year Heath another year capitalism

what how long ago was 1776 what are we looking at here long enough to know that the end is nigh Brandon according to all the conspiracy according to all the conspiracy theory reels that I fell into a deep, dark rabbit hole into, the end is nigh. It does not shock me that you have been roped into conspiracy theory TikTok or conspiracy theory reels.

You are their target market, Heath. Oh, it's amazing there was i forget what so there was one that is just is amazing oh it's then the illuminati i love um gravity falls and there's a lot about how like the illuminati has described like their plan for world domination, how they sell their souls and stuff within Gravity Falls. And man, that was really good stuff. That was really fun because I love that cartoon so much. Because if you are a global organization hellbent on world power, why would you not put everything in plain sight in an amazingly entertaining children's cartoon that's a great question yeah it's great it's it's you know

that's that's good stuff and the fact that kevin hart is clone that's another good one i like that one too because i like a lot of his movies with the rock the clone ones always crack me up because there's there's there's kevin hart one there was the uh the simulation ones that were living in a simulation that's always really funny too because like what form of hubris do you have to have to think that there is like a computer program like i think we've we're all talking about this yeah anyways sorry i think we've talked about the simulation thing on here before because i i am of the belief that if – I would fully – you could talk me into it, everything being a simulation. But if that were the case, you, me, we're all NPCs. We're not the – I would not be the main character.

Anybody listening to this podcast would not be the main character of that simulation. No. We're not going to that much effort for your fucking 9 to 5 bullshit job. That's exactly the only thing I could think of. It's like, this is way too intricate of torture

for me to actually, for this to be like a simulation. This is real. This is happening. Anyways. Back to the 4th of July. 247 was the correct answer, Heath. How many is it? You know what that means? That means capitalism

247, communism nothing. Damn it, Brandon. Okay. Let's slide back in, Brandon, because it's 4th of July, and we have what is probably the best 4 of july ducks related movie in the history of planet earth in front of us right now yes yes and that is no

hyperbole finally for the first time yes so i was thinking um i had fourth of july narrowed down to two two options because there is another good option. It's not as great as the Sandlot, obviously. But Connie is in Wet Hot American Summer, which is summer camp. Maybe next year, 4th of July. It won't be the 4th of July

because we lucked out this year with it being on the exact Tuesday that we're releasing an episode. Around that time what hot American summer Connie Moreau love that um but yeah so let's dig in Brandon Sandlot the adventure of a lifetime the summer of their dreams the dog of their nightmares I'm i'm surprised because that's the tagline for everybody following along i'm surprised that they didn't that the tagline doesn't mention the greatest pickle they've ever been in because the narrator smalls while he's narrating he says that at least

five times he says i the greatest i'm about to get us in the greatest pickle that was my summer that was my only complaint and of this whole entire movie. My one critique is that him saying the greatest pickle of the summer, the greatest pickle, like five times in the narration was a lot. Also, I remember like when we would go play, like the first thing I thought of when like this movie started and like he started talking about the pickle is how many people intentionally

put themselves into a pickle in youth baseball because of this movie and drove every coach absolutely batshit crazy. I laughed really hard to myself about that. We used to do when I was when I was playing like little little league we used

to do pickle drills like we would practice beating the pickle as if that was ever gonna come up but i guess i guess when you're like a little kid it comes up because you're such a terrible base runner that it it'll pop up a little more often than it than it should it's like quicksand though you know what i mean it was like quicksand where you thought that there was going to be a lot more like trouble with quicksand in your lifetime i'm gonna need this skill yeah this is an important there's no way there's no way i'm gonna be able to make the majors without being able to beat a pickle you know but um i do love i do love that that's how this movie starts though is with a pickle

with Porter shouting pickle this movie is so good like I loved every second of watching this like especially like after we had to trudge through the disaster of Game Changers for so long like having such an amazing movie

was so good and my favorite part is that this movie was released one day april 7th 1993 one day after my seventh birthday so and actually i kelly and i talked about this controversial opinion um that i had yesterday where this came out on my seventh birthday well a day after a day after my seventh birthday this movie was such a like because this is like pre-internet right so like you find movies and you quoted them to death for forever and so this movie got so beat up in my youth like and so played out it was like you know matchbox 20 on the radio by the time i

hit middle school where it was just like my god if i hear matchbox 20 on the radio one more time i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm just gonna drive in fucking silence and like unfortunately that's what this movie came because people got like a weird obsessed with it like like insane weird obsessed with it where like they base their personalities around their love of baseball or softball in this movie yeah and it kind of drove me a little nuts and so it caused me to kind of like you know not enjoy it as much for a long time but then coming back in as an adult and watching this for the first time in forever my god yeah i was just cinematic art this is the first time i actually watched it in a decade maybe maybe more um because yeah the same thing i like i love this movie when i was a kid and then yeah it just uh it's i mean it gets played

out um after a while and you lose track the same thing with the mighty ducks happened i watched the mighty ducks constantly growing up and then went you know from like 16 to 26 i didn't i never even like thought about watching it which was a mistake god if i could have those years back you know yeah yeah it just that was that was just my thought but i i still absolutely love this i love this movie so much and it holds up very well very well absolutely a lot a lot better than the mighty ducks yeah yeah but uh but like you said my favorite part too is that it it was like it's a genuine kids movie because it's like the only one that there's there's no competition there's no game there's no like underdog story to come from it's just kids like this is how we played in a small town in wayne america right like there weren't enough human beings that wanted to play this sport in a hot summer day

and so like we played with eight people or six people that could come out that day and you would just you know hit the ball around yeah hit the ball around and just have fun and ride your bikes around town and then when it got too hot you would go to the pool and you would make lifeguards lives miserable not on purpose i want to go on accident i want make lifeguards lives miserable i'm not on purpose i want to go on accident i want to go on record of saying i never did that okay i was very respectful of every single lifeguard that i ever came in contact with you can't can't solely my childhood at the wayne city pool because it was great and i can't like i'm assuming that it's also helped my immune system because i can't imagine the amount of small youths that peed in that bad boy oh we would just soak it

endlessly for the summer like it was just especially in in wayne america yeah that's that's a town full of of hams town full of porters you know they're just peeing every which way let's um i we did used to talk a lot of shit when we were little kids um when we would play sports again any trash that's that's the that's the other great thing and what makes it this this movie started it we never like literally still to this day i went and met up with all what's all my old friends from wayne america this last couple weeks and it's still the same shit. We just make fun of each other the whole time and we have fun and we just roast.

The great thing, again, that makes this movie an endearing kids specific movie is that the trash talk is exactly how... The dumb nonsense doesn't make any fucking sense. It's not coherent

we will we will get to it because it was it's absolutely my favorite part of the whole movie it's the back and forth between ham and um i forget i forget the kid's name but i'll pull it up because i've got the do they do we even get the the other kid the other team

yeah i know that we the team name is the tigers but i don't i forget if we get actual kid names. His last name is Phillips. Oh, okay. And they actually, because that's where, well, let's not spoil. We'll run through the highlights, but that kid, his last name is Phillips. so another thing that i think endears it as such a kid's movie and is it with along with the trash and making everything so like oddly pinpoint accurate for kids to do is the way that they

address each other like once um with us with smalls specifically he gets there he everybody he knows everybody's first they tell him everybody's first middle and last names and then they tell him the nicknames after he learns their nicknames he doesn't call them by their first name ever again it's nicknames 100 of the way he doesn't say anything and then with other with the kids that the on the tigers team the the enemy kids they all call them by their last names which is great i fucking love that you don't if yeah i'm not i'm not i don't like you i'm not calling you by your first name you get you get phillips and you like it you know uh it's it's amazing i mean childhood nicknames stick around forever much much like the dog in this show my nickname as a kid was beast or beastie

and i literally thought you were gonna say hercules i hadn't talked to my my buddy in like seven years and in the text it's like yo beast what's up like i haven't talked in seven years and probably hadn't talked in like four years before that but they still like address me as my childhood nickname forever. In Wayne, America, that's forever who I will be. It's amazing. What the fuck else is he going to call you? Keith? That's fucking

insane. That's what people at work call me. I did love that though. Smalls, I'm pretty sure all the other kids do that do it too but i know for for a fact smalls once he learns their nickname he doesn't call them anything else besides that it's nickname or bust uh it's really good stuff all right let's let's jump in to some highlights of this movie brandon because there are an endless amount we could go on forever um

we talked a little bit about the intro but the the full and i think it's probably the first like what 15 20 minutes of the movie but like the full introduction of smalls his family that them playing baseball that him being the announcer like the full lead into this movie was so well done like it just it wrapped you in it built drama he got him into the biggest pickle of their life and now that you've said that it like shattered the glass and i can't unhear how many times they said it because i just three times in the middle and i remember thinking like huh i think he just said pickle a lot yeah and um he he does he does it i think if i'm remembering

correctly because this is a three-act movie he does he does it at the he the narration at the beginning of each act i think he he restates this is going to be the biggest pickle you've ever seen yeah and that's when i got us into the biggest pickle of the summer oh my god oh wait um and like okay so the introduction and i include this into the introduction of like smalls introducing himself into the, the kids playing baseball, which he basically just sees Benny as they're unpacking. And he's like,

Hey, I wonder what this really cool handsome kid is up to today. Let me just follow him. He gives him a wave. He gives him a wave. Benny gives him the nod. And then Benny wanders off. And then.

There's the next day. Sorry, I was going to say there's two nods as well. Like the nod up is like what's up. The nod down is like more formal. Like hello. It was an upwards nod. Exactly. Which was an invitation.

Also, I want to point but before we get too far into this so this movie came out in 1993 it's set it because the the main character is uh um present day his present day self in 1993 is narrating his childhood this childhood movie so the all the childhood scenes take place in 1962. yeah so it's a period it's a period piece oh just like pregnant prejudice it's um do you honestly do you think now that I bring that up do you think sandlot is the greatest period piece movie of all time i'm gonna say yes i will also say yes but there's a million people that would just argue with you endlessly all the sentences you know on that it's just they would um they would do that but okay the also in the intro this is where we get them where they're just like benny so okay let's let's start this where first he he follows benny right

well wait wait wait first we we should fully establish this just for everybody i know everybody oh let's introduce to our ducks sorry you're right. Let's introduce them to our ducks. That, that true. Okay. So we'll do that. And then I'll, I'll do a brief intro for the, for the, for the actual movie after that. But yes, the reason we are doing this movie, um, cause you might say, Hey, this is a mighty ducks themed podcast. Why are we talking about the stand lot?

Uh, two reasons, Mike Vitar, who plays Benny, the jet, uh, Rodriguez, right? Yeah. Benjamin Franklin, Rodriguez, Benny the Jet, Rodriguez, right? Yeah, Benjamin Franklin Rodriguez, Benny the Jet. Do you think Elton John wrote that song about Benny? The song is Benny and the Jets, but it's got to be about

Benny the Jet, right? Sure. Whatever. I'm sure. I do know Mission Impossible stole that whole lowering down thing from this movie oh absolutely um but uh but so yeah mike vitar who plays benny the jet he also plays luis in d2 and d3 um and luis our favorite speedster again Again, Benny the Jet, speedster. I love that. Luis, the speedster. Benny the Jet.

Oh, my gosh. I guarantee you, I guarantee you, if you put Luis on ice skates in a race against Benny the Jet on foot, Benny the Jet's smoking his ass. Oh, absolutely. Well, I don't know. Luis on skates is going to 1.9 blue line to blue line Is something that you need to be impressed with Don't even get me fucking started I bet you

Benny the Jet could run Blue line to blue line in under a second With his PF flyers on Under a second That's a good point Are they fresh out of the box PF flyers He might do it in 0.25 seconds. That's what those PF flyers will do for Benny the Jets.

Yeah, Benny the Jets would run circles around Luis. So then our second duck, because there's two ducks. Luckily, we got two ducks in this movie. We have Brandon Quinn Adams, who played Jesse, Jesse hall in d1 and d2 he plays kenny what's what's his last name again in this movie kenny doofenshmirtz no um denunias kenny denunias yes yeah brandon quentin adams jesse hall and kenny in the same lot. So we had double duds. He's the pitcher. He's the pitcher. He brings the heater. Yep.

He does. And it's just, they're great. They're both fantastic. Absolutely amazing. And to put this in the timeline, Mighty Ducks wise, this is, this came out one year after the first Mighty Ducks. So Jesse, so Brandon already played jesse now he's playing um kenny but mike has not played louise yet that's in i think two years from now is when

that was when the second one comes out also fun fact about mike did you know that his older brother and now i forget his brother's name shit shit i saw his older brother played older version of him for the dodgers and i thought that was a super fun wrinkle uh that they added to the movie yeah that's awesome i saw i saw that it was uh pablo pablo's his older brother's name yeah there you go um but anyway so okay so we're we're in in the sand line oh Oh, wait. Go ahead. Sorry. Now let me. So this takes place in 1962, right? Smalls has just moved to Southern California. I don't think they ever specify a town. It's just Southern California.

So they just moved to Southern California. And that's where the movie starts is day one when they're unloading the U-Haul. Yep. And that's where he sees Bennyny the jet gives him a wave benny the jet gives him the nod um and he kind of like creeps and stalks them and sees that they're playing ball um at the ball field right and then we we do we do establish he has an interest in baseball beforehand. Cause he, he keeps begging his stepdad who's played by Dennis Leary,

his stepdad to play catch with, teach him how to play catch. Yeah. And he, cause he, he's a nerd. And so he loves the statistics behind it. Yeah.

But he doesn't, he doesn't know anything about baseball though. I don't think he's, he hasn't fallen in love with the statistics yet. that's right he just wants to play catch so bad because he's he wants he wants to learn how to play catch because his stepdad is like in love with baseball he has a he has a whole room that's just baseball memorabilia yeah um including foreshadowing uh Babe Ruth signed baseball um so that's why that's why he has an interest in baseball he's like teach me how to play let's Bond you know God knows what happened to my real dad he probably died and now i'm stuck

with dennis leary um long story short he wants to play baseball with these kids he he knows nothing about baseball and he has the hand-eye coordination of a blade of grass. Yeah, and he can't throw. He can't catch. He can't do anything. He creeps out onto the field. This is your favorite part where he's hiding behind. He follows him there. He follows Benny to the baseball field, like one block

behind him. With a plastic toy mitt. Yeah, plastic toy mitt and a baseball cap that has like a three foot bill on it it's for fishing so that you don't get sunburned it's there's that bill is so fucking long though i feel like it's extra sun protection brandon like you're sure it's not it's just clean from those uvs baby it's just flopping in front of him. There's no way that's providing any sun protection. You don't know shit about hats, Brandon.

But yeah, he follows Benny. He stays far enough behind him so that it's not obvious that he's following him. And then, once he gets to the baseball field, instead of being like, hey, guys, can I join? He just, again, not saying a word to anybody, just

wanders into center field and hides behind a bush like normal kids do duh and just doesn't he doesn't say anything until a ball gets hit at it yeah oh my god it was so like i i i'm i was with the other kids when benny was like finally like bringing him in i was with the other kids this motherfucker is so creepy sitting by the bush i don't want him in my baseball game let's see yeah yeah when he's like he's like yeah he makes nine so does my sister but i'll bring her and then also this is amazing right here i wanted to highlight this squints is awesome in the show but the kid is an l7 weenie yeah yeah oscar meyer even footlong dodger dog a weenie well and he's he's shouting that at at smalls like he's

he's not describing it to somebody else he's staring like i direct eye contact with smalls and screaming that at him he's like what are you laughing at yeah you run like a duck yeah i did like that where benny was like you guys all fucking suck but what are you you're part of the team you know it really is just amazing amazing staff um when they start talking shit to smalls straight to his face. They continue to do it to each other as well. They're not the nicest of people to each other, but it's tough love. It's really good stuff.

That was one of the highlights. They're playing ball, right? I think Benny hits it a home run of the highlights. One of the other, they're playing ball, right? And I think that Benny hits it a home run over the fence and we get, he's going to go over the fence to get it. And they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing? Lunatic. The beastly lives back there. And so we get our first slumber party in squints tree house, which is a very tree house.

It's a, is that, is it squ's treehouse? I didn't realize that. Yeah, that's Squint's treehouse because and he gives... Did he just build his own treehouse in the middle of a public park? Is that what he did? No, I'm assuming that they're

neighbors. Like, he neighbors the house because they're in... But it's in the the the treehouse is in center field of the baseball of the baseball field that's what i'm saying like i'm assuming that i assume that squints is the beast's neighbor and that's why he's the one that but still that's that's like that's a house or two down and he just he wanders into this public baseball park and decides to build a treehouse in the middle of it. No, the treehouse is in squints backyard. And that's where you get the amazing for the, for the squints explains the beast and how it was created and how it eats men and how they lost one of their buddies forever after he went

back there to go get the ball uh because the beast ate him um and that's where we get the we already talked about the forever thing but before we even get to the amazing beast story we get a this is a wildly quoted um where ham is, hey, want a s'more? He's like, s'more what? No. Do you want a s'more? I haven't had anything yet. So how can I have some more of nothing?

You're killing me, smalls. These are s'mores stuff. Okay. Pay attention. First, you take the gram. You stick the chocolate on the gram, then you roast the Molo. When the Molo's flaming, you stick it on the chocolate, then cover it with the other end. Then you scarf. Kind of messy, but good. Try some.

And this is where in D2, Goldberg and Charlie needed to listen to this instruction where you let the Molo flame. Then you put it out and add it to the s'more. That was a pretty solid reading you did there. I feel like this episode is just going to turn into an audition reel for you, just reciting these quotes. I've always wanted to be an audible narrator. This is my chance. This is my big break right here uh yeah the s'more the s'mores is great and then we get the ghost story right after the beast ghost story with the

flashlight um and yeah beast beast is uh running from the law right yeah he's uh did they say he killed somebody i forget it yeah and like the dude like feeds him like oh yeah that's right and then then he feeds him kids and yeah that's that's the other part is the uh what's what's his name it's mr myrtle is that what it is yeah mr myrtle just a myrtle yeah he feeds uh he feeds beast hercules the the kids. As a sacrifice. Everything they do with Hercules, Beast, the dog, is top-notch fucking fantastic.

You have the weird little ghost story where they build up the hype and they show just the most massive dog in the fucking world with the tricks they do. And then later on when they're showing the backyard area, it's like scanning his backyard. There's a full-sized femur, human femur bone, just chilling there with the meat ripped off. Everything's torn up.

It's nothing but dirt. There's a doll with an arrow in it through it's at one of its eyes um everything they do with hercules to like like set him up before you actually like see him is fantastic um top-notch work and then they even do like they show scenes where you see just the paws um and they're just the the gigantic the most gigantic dog paws you've ever seen in your entire life. Like a fucking lion paw. And then...

Very well done animatronics. Yeah, so good. I don't even think it was animatronics. I think it was like a steel pole that they just built a paw around and then a guy just smashing it down. I do have to jump back just for one second the introduction and

where they're like playing baseball where we tied everything together we do have to talk about where he the beginning of his misunderstanding of who babe ruth is and where him is like he has the yeah the convenience store he has has the bubblegum cigar, which remember when those were like a staple for baby showers? They had the pink or the blue bubblegum cigars. And so he's like, check this out. I'm the great Bambino.

And Small's like, who's that? And the narrator is like, I had no idea what they were talking about. And Ham gets wildly offended. What did he say well i love i love how he's like he goes uh oh because the great bambino obviously a nickname right and he goes i don't i don't know whose nickname that is and then in response to that every kid just goes and reiterates a different nickname for babe ruth like that that's going to help him figure it out. That's it.

What did he say? What were you born in a barn, man? Yeah. Yeah. What planet are you from? But there was no way I could let you know. This is where it squints. You've never heard of the Sultan of SWAT, the Titan of terror, the Colossus of clout,

the Colossus of clout, The Colossus of clout. The King of Crash, man. Oh, the Great Bambino, of course. I thought you said the Great Bambi. What? That wimpy deer? That is good. I love that sentence.

Because that's what we'll get to in the end. I just love that they just kept shouting out new nicknames. Like, that's kind of fucking hell. The Colossus of Clout. What a nickname, man. We should probably go... Before we get too deep into it,

we should probably talk about each of these kids. We should bring up each of these kids. We got Benny. Benny's the ringleader. He's the actual baseball player, Mike Vitar. Smalls. Smalls is the new kid that moved in. You got Kenny, who's played by Brandon Adams-Jesse,

who's the pitcher. And then we have Squints, who's like the real nerdy guy with the glasses yeah you have um yeah yeah who's the like the the stereotypical italian kid and then um what else we have we have uh porter ham porter who's the catcher the the big ginger everyone the the the deep listeners will remember him from son-in-Law fame. Yes. That Pauly Shore gem. Yeah. Paul Renna, I think, is the actor's name, right?

Paul Renna. Yeah. Yeah. In Son-in-Law, Big Green. He was also in Big Green. With Squints. Squints is in Big Green, too. And then we have Bertram, who's the tall, skinny kid.

Tall, skinny kid. And then we have Timmy Timmons and Tommy Timmons. Yep. I mean, as soon as I heard Timmy and Tommy, it made me instantly think of Timmy and Tammy from D1. But I like Timmy and Tommy better. We needed Tommy the repeater in D1. That would have been great. That was a really good character, right?

Well, while we're naming the kids, I do do want to point out because it's a baseball movie So I want to point out each of the hats That these kids are wearing Because some of them have some fucking sick ass baseball hats So Benny's wearing An LA Dodgers again because we're in Southern California Most of these kids are going to be California fans

Benny's rocking the LA Dodgers Timmy is rocking a New York Yankees hat Tommy to be California fans. Benny's rocking the LA Dodgers. Timmy is rocking a New York Yankees hat. Tommy doesn't really wear a hat all that often. There's a couple kids that don't wear hats while they're just playing around.

Tommy did, however, wear a hat during the Tigers game. And it was just a plain bright green hat. No, no team logo. Bertram. The hippie kid is wearing a Los Angeles angels hat from the six, from the fifties and sixties with the halo on it.

Sick hat. Kenny, he's wearing a Negro league, Kansas city Monarchs hat. Mitchell and Ness. You can get Kansas city Monarchs gear. Pretty cool. Mitchell & Ness, a better company than Mitchell & Ness, though, that you can get

pretty much every single one of these hats is Ebbetsfield Flannels. Oh, there you go. It's way better than Mitchell & Ness. Mitchell & Ness is a fucking sellout and they belong to fanatics now, so you don't need to use Mitchell & Ness anymore. Ebbetsfield Flannels, Seattle-based

company heath you know i love seattle and they make it um it's all wool it's all like exactly how they made it in the 50s and 60s to the t um i also partnered with them for a broken forest hat um oh amazing on the shop too so yeah but uh so. So then Kenny's wearing the Kansas City Monarchs hat. Porter rocking the Yankees hat because he's a big Bambino guy. Squints is rocking the backwards hat the entire time, but it's just a plain black hat. It doesn't have a logo on it, which I thought, I mean, come on, Squints. You could have been better than that. Yeah, yeah.

It was the other guy who didn't wear a hat most of the time except for during the tigers game and he's wearing just a plain tan hat from what i can see there's no logo or anything yeah and then smalls is wearing that ridiculous um bass hat um for most of the most of the game or most of the movie until benny comes up to and goes, dude, you got to lose the hat. You look like a fucking loser, man. And he goes, this is the only hat that I have. And so then Benny pulls out a cap from his back. Just like he did with the, when he gave him the glove to pull it from his back pocket, he goes, I got an extra one, hands it to him.

And the hat he hands him is a UCLA ruins baseball cap from like cap from like the 30s i love that speaking of clothes do you remember the line where um squints is like about time benny my clothes are going out of style and he's like they already are squints and also i forgot that uh benny's real name is Benjamin Franklin. That's nothing like a little shout out to, to, to good old Benny Frank. Oh my God. Anyways. So that's a recap of all the kids and their hats.

Cause I think the hats the hats and their outfits and all the all the nonsense they're wearing because they're wearing some ridiculous 1960s attire um but the costume department fantastic because it time to transition into the pool scene i have an endless amount of quotes for this as we scroll through but like this pool scene this pool scene is the only one where i like watching it and i was like i don't know how i feel about this it's it's oh it's absolutely terrible but i this. This is how it all starts is because Ham is like, this pop isn't working, Benny. I'm baking like a toasted cheeser. It's so hot here.

And then Benny is basically like, all right, vote then. Anybody who wants to be a can't hack it panty waist who wears their mama's bra raise your hand everybody raises their hand and then he's like all right so what are we gonna do and yeah yeah goes oh oh and all together they go scam pool honeys oh my god it was just nothing well this is right after, because on the way to the park, Yaya and Squintz run into Wendy Peppercorn, and she's walking to the pool to begin her lifeguard duty. Yeah. Oh, God.

Or Wendy Peppercorn. Never saw it coming. Or Squintz insanity here, where he goes, I've swum here every summer in my adult life. And every summer, there she is. They're like 12, right? Yeah, that's so good. And every summer, there she is. Lotion, lotion, oiling, oil oil and lotion, smiling, smiling.

I can't take this no more. Move. And that's when he decides to jump off the diving board when he can't swim, which is just, once again, absolutely. Into the deep end. Into the deep end. He can't swim and he once again absolutely into the deep end into the deep swim and he goes dives into the deep end yeah that whole scene was insane and so of course he gets kicked out right and as they're all running out ham was nice enough to grab squint stuff his glasses his hat and everything and and he's like um hey did you know what you were doing and squints is like i've been planning it for years and ham goes sprinting up to the rest of the kids like he's been planning the whole time he's planning the whole time like i thought that

was just oh my god it was so amazing the low the The low key like hero of that entire, the entire pool sequence is Porter. Cause he does that. He freaks out when squints tells him he was playing in it. And then he also, before the cannonball, I forgot about them. I say when everybody,

everybody gets into the pool immediately and ham is like slowly strutting by the cuties. He's the only one who actually who actually tries to scam the pool honey oh my god he's walking by he's giving him and then he and i don't know about you but we used to do this all the time like if there were like high school hotties tanning in the pool we would try to like off the diving board get the biggest splash yeah yeah yeah it's just trying to get their attention if you're gonna sit in the splash zone you gotta

get prepared to be oh man um uh it's just really good stuff also i forgot i meant to say it when you're talking about the hats but i love how benny tells him uh he's like you got fireplace and he's like yeah he's like throw the hat in it it's burn burn that shit it's like i it's it's a comically large bill that like legitimately that something that big i don't see how that would i don't see how that would better protect your your your face uh sun wise than something that's maybe half of the size because even half of that size is still way larger than a normal baseball hat it's uh that was just that was so good but anyways yeah the the whole pool scene was just just is i was absolutely ridiculous um after the pool scene was just ridiculous. It was absolutely ridiculous. After the pool scene, another highlight of mine, and I don't know how you felt about this, but the 4th of July game when they were playing America the Beautiful.

I don't know who was singing it. I just assumed it sounded like Louis Armstrong or something like that, but it was just, my God. That whole scene is fantastic. So good. something like that but it was just my god it was that whole scene's fantastic because they said smalls and during the narration he sets it up to where um 99 of the time they're always playing baseball during the day because once it gets dark you can't see anything but one night a year the sky lights up just enough for them to play baseball and that's when all the fireworks are getting set off for the fourth of july and my favorite part of it is the lead up to the game though where ham is doing a drive-by on all the picnics and just loading a plate full of goodies for they're like

running there all the kids are running through the neighborhood to get to the baseball diamond while the fireworks are still going and of course in typical 60s americana the whole neighborhood's doing a like fucking potluck yeah for the july yeah so everybody everybody's out and about there's uh everybody's got grilling out out in the front yard and all that kind of stuff so as as porter is running through the neighborhood to get to the baseball field he's stealing everybody's food that was where we established that baseball was more than just a game for for benny because while the rest of them would stop to watch the fireworks benny was still playing the game you know the game that he loves brandon um yeah benny man and then brandon we get What I consider The best scene in the entire

Movie where we Have the enemy Team that's an actual team Not just like you know A bunch of kids on The on the diamond They come riding into the Sandlot to come talk

This is a it's like four or five kids from the legit baseball team. They have uniforms, fancy uniforms, let's say tigers on them. But Phillips is the only one that does the talking for them. Phillips.

There's like four or five that come riding up on their bikes with them into their little sandlot area that that our our kids are playing at and you can tell that we've got history because um as soon as the kid turns the corner and porter sees him he goes oh this kid again yeah my favorite part is like all the all the kids are like gathered together when they see him so they all start marching together but as as they're marching together, every one of them is like throwing their mitt on the ground. Yes, because they know it's about time to throw down.

And my favorite part is if you watch that scene, Squintz is like ahead of everybody by a little bit. And he sees them all throw their gloves. So he grabs his glove and he goes to throw it, but he like holds onto it too long. So it doesn't hit the ground. It just flies back and it hits smalls in the face oh that is an amazing wrinkle that i totally missed um or no i'm sorry it's it's timmy in the face not but uh great stuff um all right but are you right i want to read through this whole shit talk back and forth between this is your audition reel really let it shine here

alright so it starts off we get a little bit of shit talk back and forth first and it starts off with Phyllis talking to Benny he says it's easy when you play with rejects and a fat kid Rodriguez I mean he has a point he does have a point there

shut your mouth, Phillips. And then this is where Ham jumps in and he says, what'd you say, crap face? You shouldn't be allowed to touch a baseball except for Rodriguez. You're all an insult to the game. Come on. We'll take you on right here right now. Come on, Sandlot kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll take you on. We play on a real diamond, Porter. You ain't good enough to lick the dirt off our cleats. Watch it, jerk. Shut up, idiot. Moron. Scab eater. butt sniffer, puss licker,

fart smeller. Oh, you eat dog crap for breakfast, geek. You mix your Wheaties with your mama's toe jam. You bob for apples in the toilet. And you like it. You play ball like a girl and then that's the worst one that's the the record scratch but my personal favorite is mixing the weedies with the mama's toe jam i love how he i love how he he fought he he leaked like in the middle of it he goes with

but but sniffer right and then it comes back around to him again and then he follows it up with fart smeller which i mean it's honestly not that different it's about it's a pretty much pretty much fairly redundant insults but um you know that's and it's it's there's two different things like you know a butt sniffer just does it for the pleasure uh a fart smeller is someone who does the action you know it's it's someone who you know it's like hitting the bong okay do you have the you have the the rest of the do you have the rest of it oh i hold on on. I do some. After they agree to the game, and they're saying bye to each other,

Ham has my favorite line, trash talk line. Oh, after they start the game? No, no. At the very end of that whole situation, they agree to play the game, and then it's like the last line to each other before they leave oh i don't it cuts off oh i forget what he says what the what uh philip says to um to uh porter but porter's last line to him he

he calls him a pee drinking crap face oh my god it's it's so good it's so good and so they they meet up on the diamond and they travel to the tigers they travel to the real diamond there we're playing we're playing in a real stadium now guys yeah and they are just ripping shots even Even Smalls is ripping shots into the outfield. They're just embarrassing the Tigers. But the absolute highlight of the game is Ham behind the home plate. And if you don't mind me again,

Brandon, I do have it for us. His trash talk when he's catching behind the plate while the other while the other kid is trying to bat is amazing it's play ball hurry up batter this better be a short game i gotta get home for lunch um and everyone is just getting straight. Jesse is just throwing the mad heaters all over the place. Ham is laughing. He's like, haha, that's one as people are

swinging and missing. He's calling strikes before the ball even gets to him. Before Kenny even throws the ball, he's like, strike one. This is my favorite one to the batter. You know, if my dog was as ugly as you, I'd shave his butt and tell him to walk backwards. Then it cuts to a new pitch. Here it comes.

It's coming. I tell you strike three. That's once again, he's talking all the shit. And then this is the best where he's talking shit to Phyllis this is by far the best that's amazing he goes hey is that your sister out there in left field naked

she's naked shut up Porter hey hey hey hey I'm just trying to have friendly conversation come on think she'll go out with me it's the the way he the way he follows it up when he's like is that your sister out there in left field naked and then he pauses she's thinking okay when they're in there he pauses and he's like think she'll go out with me? It's just... Oh, man. He was great.

Patrick Grenner was amazing in Son-in-Law. He was the best part of that movie, even though he was... That one had a lot of really weird... Wasn't he like hunting for panties or something like that?

In the dorm rooms but uh he crushed that role he's amazing in this role in Big Green he's fantastic the kid was a phenomenal comedic actor phenomenal it's a shame we never got him in the ducks that would have been great oh my God and it's and so what do they do to celebrate their glorious victory, Brandon? Got to go to the fair. State Fair, baby. State Fair. It's probably not a state fair because it's Southern California.

It's probably just a little carnival popping through. But Benny is a great guy, buys everyone tickets for the ride. But before we get on the ride, we have, oh, what's his face? I just blanked on it. Blanking on his name. Bertram. Bertram. He's like, hey.

Bertram Grover Weeks. Full name. Goodness. Well, Bertram says, I almost forgot, gang. I was saving it for a special occasion. I've got some big chief, baby. Some, some fucking cha Brandon,

but then I'm big dipper, a little lipper there. Come on boys. The amount of like the size of the dip that they do is insane. It's there's like it made me a little sick to my stomach just watching them. I put that in

and then once once they got on the actual ride, I skipped until they were done because I was like, I know I know how this goes. I don't want to see all this fake throw up everywhere. And yeah, just just just watching them put that dip in made my stomach queasy i was like and my my favorite is they're like let's dip that's and that's why they cut it from um fun fact brandon i think i told you this off the air

but fun fact most um tv showings of this have now officially cut that scene from it. It makes sense. I don't think it would encourage kids to go do Chew. I remember watching this as a kid and being like, oh yeah, I don't think I want to throw up.

I don't like throwing up. You go get Big League Chew. Big League Chew. But I'll say the key is A, I mean, you just don't. You go get big league chew. Big league chew. The key is A, small doses is better for dip, especially if it's your first goddamn time and you're 12 years old.

Just a little tiny bit. And then also, don't go on a fucking tilt-a-whirl while it's in your mouth. Well, they got the pouches now. What are they? I always get those reels of the Zinners. Zin? Like the hockey bros?

That's one of the brands of the pouches is Zin's. Yeah, the hockey bros love them. Isn't Grizzly? Wasn't that like a... Grizzly is one of the... I think the biggest one of the chews. It's still going i think i don't know if i would imagine they do patches or pouches i don't know if they do yeah yeah you think about getting back in you know get back into the pouches absolutely not like it's

just it's it's just real gross you know and you want to walk around with a disgusting well i imagine a bottle full of your spit yeah well i imagine the pouches are not nearly as gross as like the actual dip um still i think still gotta walk around with a fucking gross ass bottle of your own spit you're gonna just spit it on the ground you're in a bottle well if you're most people aren't outside all the time oh well why are they not outside I don't know go outside people stop sitting inside what are you doing anyways anyways so that's just they barfed all over the ride it was disgusting

but it was I wrote I wrote a very iconic scene I wrote in my notes I feel so terrible for the other kids that were on that ride same same like they show like a couple of them that are like right behind him yeah that would be a fucking nightmare oh my god just put ride same same like they they show like uh a couple of them like right behind me yeah yeah that would be a nightmare oh my god you just put the fattest on your jaw and it was just

and then just you're just sitting there on the tilt-a-whirl there's there's nothing you can do you can't you can't you just gotta wait for the ride to stop it's getting pelted by other people's vomit that's my word that's my worst nightmare i think we're really like stuck on an amusement ride just constantly getting vomited on that's my that's my nightmare that's my personal hell uh it yeah anyways um yeah it made me rethink ever going i'll never go on another carnival ride ever again but um after the the celebration this is where we get benny the jet tear tears the ball open um and just rips the laces off of it and so they're done for the day that was then they that was like the coolest fucking thing i'm with kenny right and i think it's kenny that says it where

because benny's all fucking pissed he's like damn it i ruined the ball and kenny's like dude that was the coolest fucking shit i've ever seen in my life man yeah that's Kenny that says it where, cause Benny's all fucking pissed. He's like, damn it. I ruined the ball. And Kenny's like, dude, that was the coolest fucking shit I've ever seen in my life, man. Yeah. That's something that you'd never forget that moment in time. Um, but what we, what we get is we get smalls trying to save the day.

And how does he save the day? Cause there's stuff in between this, right? Like they go and buy one and then it gets, no, no, no, no, no. They're, they're talking, they're talking go and buy one and then it gets no no no no they're they're talking they're talking um because benny's like damn it guys i ruined it we don't have another ball and kenny's like that don't worry it's the coolest fucking thing in the world

and he was like yeah but it's like noon and we can't play anymore because i ruined it and because they were like does anybody else have have i, I think they say 98 cents to go buy a ball. Does anybody have 98 cents? And they're like, no, no. And then that's when Smalls is like, well, I got a ball. To the rescue. And since Smalls provides the ball, he is first up to bat. And what happens?

Are we going to skip over what kind of ball he got? The ball he got? Well, spoiler alert it was his dad Jerry's Babe Ruth ball they scream at him what's his dad's name Bill

sure Dennis Leary he says I have a ball and they scream at him why would you not bring the fucking ball idiot go get it anyways keep going stepfather he says i have a ball and they scream at him and they're like what the why would you not bring the fucking ball idiot go get it yeah um and so yeah and then he and at this point bill dennis leary is on a business he's on a business trip and so smalls sneaks into the baseball memorabilia room that we mentioned earlier and he grabs he grabs the baby Ruth. Oof. Big trouble.

And so he gets to bat first. Kenny throws him the heater. I just want to interrupt you for one last time. Just in case anybody doesn't know who baby Ruth is. It's the great Bambino. It's the Sultan of Swat. It's the Colossus. He's the Colossus of clout. He's the, what was it?

The Titan of. King of crash. King of crash. That's the, what was it, the Titan of King of Crash King of Crash that's who Baby Ruth is just so you know anyways so Smalls is up to bat rips his first and biggest hit

ever he's rounding first he's rounding second but then he stops and realized that the ball has soared over the fence as a home run and he starts gently kind of meandering towards the fence he's having a he's having a panic attack yeah and and everyone is like what in the hell is happening and he's he's like you know i i got this ball from my dad's room it was signed by some lady and then i have the whole thing again here but before you do that i love how though when he's like when he's having his panic attack and

he's like instead of turning on turning a second going to third he just wanders out into the outfield everybody is like you're supposed to turn small yeah and he comes over there now yeah yelling at him he's like what is going on what's he doing he's supposed to turn why is he not turning and that's when he's like it was signed by some some lady right but i have this and he's like he's like yeah i was gonna bring it back and squints like but it was signed by babe ruth yeah you keep telling me that who is she and then porter mortally wounded what what the sultan of swat the colossus of clout babe ruth the great bambino it's like oh my god you you mean that's the same guy it's just oh he's like i don't i don't feel so good that was as a kid that was my because i i was i was super into baseball when i was a little kid

um like i had pennants like like how they show in the the dad's memorabilia room all the pennants that are on the wall i had that like all over my wall i collected baseball cards i was i was a real i was like a stats nerd about it when i was like a little kid and i remember the first time i watched that movie the the moment where he goes and who is, who is she? I remember like losing my fucking mind. I mean, like that's the greatest joke I've ever heard in my entire life. That's hilarious.

Cause we missed the, they didn't include the lead up. We, the lead up to where I started was squints is like, where did your old man get that ball? And smalls is like, I don't know. Some lady gave it to him.

She had signed her name on it. Some lady, Ruth, baby Ruth. And that's where they're like, I don't know. Some lady gave it to him. She had signed her name on it. Some lady, Ruth, baby Ruth. And that's where they're like, she even wrote her name on it. That's really good stuff. And then we get like, we got to recover it. So the recovery efforts that the kids go through from the treehouse are amazing. The homemade, like where Squints

has like the... Like the Telescopor? Yeah. The submarine shit? Yeah. Periscope? Sure. That sounds right. Yeah. I was never in the Navy. But yeah. And then the beast

grabs the claw from there and then they do a vacuum trick where they got like four vacuums they they do a couple tricks before that they do the at first they just try to do like a stick they grab like a broomstick and then fucking hercules again everything they do with her is fantastic he eats half of it and then porter pulls the rest back and it's like all gnarled and male that That's right. Like drool drooping down. Then they try the metal claw thing. Hercules grabs it, squishes it into a ball, and then somehow throws it over the fence. Amazing.

Who would? Yeah. How would Hercules not throw that over the fence? And then we get the vacuum. Then they do the vacuum. And that's amazing because we get Hercules puts a... It worked, but then we get a kink in the hoses.

We get backed up and they've got to run for cover as those vacuums explode. I love how they... It's not just one vacuum. They have three vacuums that they hook up into one little tube. Dude, but those vacuum bags will explode like oh yeah i love i love how they i love how they fire the they fired the vacuums up one at a time like

okay go go for vacuum one oh my god yeah it's so good um the mission impossible rope and pulley system where they lower squints on and um uh the Hercules just um takes takes him and throws him out of there yeah and then the erector set um the the Beast versus the machine that was really great stuff that's just great interaction but they realize it's just you know it's it's never gonna work Brandon until lost cause until our boy Benny the jet is visited by the babe and and this is I I love this where the babe his parting wisdom random where the babe is like comes to the babe babe ruth comes to benny in his dreams to give him sage wisdom to get in a pickle with um with hercules um and he says remember kid there's heroes and there's legends heroes get remembered but legends

never die follow your heart kid and you'll never go wrong beautiful words to live by yeah yeah and so that's probably that's probably the the most famous quote right it's a tie between um that and you're killing me smalls right you're killing me smalls is hands down like running away the number one quote of this movie i think it's the most versatile i don't think it's the most famous i think legends never die is the legends never die might be the most famous but the you're killing me smalls is the most used the most because it's the most it's the most You can throw it into anything. Anyways. And then we get Benny

busting out the PF flyers and brand new PF flyers. And he has just we get the pickle of a lifetime between Benny and the Beast running through the barbecue

This scene again Everything they do with Hercules is fucking fantastic This whole scene It's a long fucking chase scene They go through the whole town Basically Hercules chasing fucking Vinny down It's amazing

There's the classic thing where they're turning a corner and they're all sliding. Everything about this chase scene is fan-fucking-tastic. So good. Even they had little kids like, oh, doggy. Big doggy. The only thing they were missing is they don't play Yakety Sax

in the background, do they? That's the one thing they're missing. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. But then in the background do they that's that's the one thing they're missing um uh but then it ends with benny jumping over the fence and the fence collapses back down onto hercules and we see that poor pup struggling and it's a really beautiful moment where they all rescue the dog and then hercules walks over to Smalls and when you think he's gonna peel the flesh from his bones, nope. Gives him a big old kiss on the face. Yep. And that's where we meet

James Earl Jones. Mr. Mr. Myrtle. Mr. Myrtle. I take Mr. Myrtle over all of those guys. James Earl Jones. mr myrtle that's i take mr myrtle over all of those guys james earl joe it's i don't know so mr myrtle so yeah so they after they save hercules they go and they knock on mr myrtle's door and they're like hey we're super sorry but we pretty much we knocked over your fence we knocked over your fence and killed your dog um and that's what and that's what our bad yeah that's when we find out mr myrtle is

blind you can't see um and then um he invites them in uh because they explain they jumped they did all this because they did all this because of because of baby ruth that sweet old lady yeah and um and then mr myrtle's like you you sons of guess what i have in store for you come on you old so-and-sos you would not believe what i have for you so then they go they go into mr myrtle's house and you see just mountains of baseball memorabilia and it turns out mr myrtle is a and you see just mountains of baseball memorabilia. And it turns out Mr. Myrtle is a former professional baseball player. Guess who he played with?

He guess who he fucking played with. Well, he played against George. Well, yeah. With against tomato tomato. I'm just, I'm just saying.

And he also, I like how he was like, Oh, autograph, babe, Ruth ball. Yeah. You're you're,

you're real fucked kid. Like you're you're you're real fucked kid like it's you're dead yeah but then uh but then he says he wants to exchange with him brandon and and give him the old murder's row autograph because it's beautiful bill's getting bill comes the next day right i think he's he's coming home the next day right i think he's coming home the next day so they're trying that's why they it was now or never to get the ball and so yeah and so mr myrtle's like here i'll trade you you're ruined because it was it was with the beast hercules for a couple days he nod on it it's not in the best shape you know he hercules doesn't know who baby ruth is never met her before in his life.

So he ruined the ball a little bit. So yeah, Mr. Myrtle's like, I'll trade you your terrible, ruined Baby Ruth. And he doesn't have an actual Baby Ruth to exchange it for, because like you said, it's very rare. You just get out of luck. But he gives him the Murderer is real right that's what yeah murder is real yeah yeah um which i mean i don't know i don't know one better but well you just have a lot more like you have an endless parade well it's not an endless parade. It's like five. It's like four or five. Still. Right. Yeah. Still.

But. Oh, wait. We learned that Mr. Myrtle went blind because he was, he played hard 24, seven all day, every day, crowding the plate. Pitchers hate it. It's because of CTE. He went blind because of CTE. He went blind because he was crowding the plate and the pitcher was trying to back him up away from the box and

lit him up in the face. Yeah. And he probably has CTE. Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, why else do you think he's a shut-in? Anyways, so after all of that, I actually, the ending of the movie, it was perfectly done too.

Like it was everything about the ending was just a perfect summary. We see Bill come home and Bill, he's not thrilled. He's disappointed because like, don't, don't fucking touch my shit, bro. You know, stupid fucking idiot. That's a priceless artifact yeah we didn't i don't think we talked about the catch scene that him that bill ends up having oh my god when bill throws a surprise he's like you got to watch out for that curveball it's like the kid doesn't even know how to throw a ball is playing with a plastic children's glove like what's wrong with you man i

wrote that down here i was like when he's playing catch with dad, it's like this kid obviously has never thrown a ball in his entire life, nor does it look like he's caught a ball. And his dad, his stepdad is like, he's just like, I'm going to play catch with you like I would play catch with anybody else. Like, we're not going to start from the ground up and slowly work our way. We're going zero to sixty right here bud you know you teach them

to swim by throwing them in the water you know just like true grit yeah um but i love that and then yeah then he pops him in the eye with uh with a curveball yeah and just yeah yeah so yeah so bill bill gets his murderer's row and then we find out that mr myrtle uh not exactly a shut-in he just doesn't have any he doesn't have any friends out here you know he's like he's like smalls he came out here and doesn't have very many friends everybody thinks his dog's a murderer so they don't want to go say hi to him and so then um the kids and mr myrtle strike up a brand new friendship they start talking baseball all the time they become best buds what a what a happy ending yep it's beautiful and you

know they they basically sum it up that um they all lived in the neighborhood for a couple more years through junior high and every summer was great uh but none of them ever came came close to that first one. When one guy moved away, we never replaced him on the team with anyone else. Just kept on going. It's beautiful. You know?

And then this is where we get the full summary where Benny said Babe Ruth was the Hercules of baseball and the Beast's name ended up being Hercules. None of us could ever figure out what that meant, but we were all amazed by it. Kept in touch with most of the guys over the years and found out that Yaya's parents shipped him off to military school. Gotta love that. Yaya causing trouble. After the army, he became one of the pioneering developers of bungee

jumping shout out yeah yeah okay um of course we all know why oh do we know why he became one of the innovators of bungee jumping no i don't i don't i don't remember that line yeah all right anyways and then because i because that's what it says he said he became he became one of the I don't remember that line. Yeah. All right. Anyways. And then, cause I, cause that's what it says. He said he became, he became one of the pioneering developers of bungee jumping. Of course we all know why. Was he the,

no, they were, they were dangling squints from the ground. Right. Or was, was he Manning squints? Maybe he was. Was he the,

was he the, maybe he was the guy. Cause when, when the beast grabbed it, he was the guy. When the beast grabbed it, he was the one that the beast was like it looked like bungee jumping. He was like yanking on him.

I'm glad we went back over that. Because that was... Then we get Bertram. Well, Bertram got really into the 60s and no one ever saw him again. That might be the best line of the whole movie. What do you think happened? Oh, dude, he went out to California and.

He didn't go out to California. He was living in California. He went, he went up to, what's it? Hates, hates Barry and Ash. Is that what it hates? Hates and Ash. That's a, that's where Bertram was never, that is his last known location.

Okay. So there you go. Um, Timmy and Tommy became an architect and a contractor started out small designing playground equipment and pre fabricated tree houses, but they became multimillionaires when they invented mini malls. I didn't feel about that. Squints grew up and married Wendy Peppercorn.

They had nine kids. They bought Vincent's drugstore and they still own it to this day. My favorite success story of them all, though, is Hamilton Porter became a professional wrestler. You know him as the great Hambino. Love that. De Nunez played triple-A ball, but he never got to the majors. He owns his own business now, and he coaches a little league team that his son plays on called the Heaters. Nice.

Hercules lived to be 199 years old in dog years. And I saw something about that. And it's like 28-ish. 28 years old? Yeah, about 28 and a half years old. That is. That's crazy. Unreasonable.

And then. Unreasonable, then Unreasonable but Good for you Hercules But after Benny pickled the beast His reputation spread all over town And from then on he was known as Benny The Jet Rodriguez And the nickname stuck with him for the rest of his life

And I thought it was kind of fun How they showed him stealing home Even though that's something that no one ever does. But it was just a good, you know, and it was the end of his baseball career, too, where he lost a step. You know, he even said, oh, he's lost a step, but we might see some fireworks here. People's still home, though. Well, I mean, no, but it's not very often. No, not very often, but it does happen.

But anyways, there we go. I bet you it happens a lot more now with this pitch clock. That's true. Pitch clock is crazy, but I love it. I went to a Mariners game, and it moved so fast. It was so refreshing. It was so nice like the game went by so quickly it was a pleasant evening enjoying the game see i don't know baseball is

when i like get real in like real old man mode where i'm like don't ever don't ever change anything yeah well because you're a real accounting nerd so you're gonna want to keep it real you know for the nerds i just want i just want everybody to forgive barry bonds that's really what i want but anyways all right so um you know that is probably one of the better movies you know close close second to son-in-law um for movie duck movies that we have oh yeah we gotta rate it out of five oh yeah our oh this is boy you know like i've given some like you've given some ratings i gotta put together a graphic of your of everything we've rated because it's wild i think you gave us you gave son-in-law like an 85 out of five son-in-law is the best thanksgiving movie i've ever seen in my entire life

like it's it's beautiful i i love it so much um i this one is actually just a a really really good movie though like this is a classic it's it's so good that it got beat to death you know it's the the matchbox 20s of kids movies uh but i would say this is probably four and a half out of five cakes four and a half is what i would give it to you it's it's it's a fantastic movie and watching it again after a long time it it holds up it's fantastic yeah it's one that if you have kids you literally like wait you can't wait until they're old enough to start watching these movies with you and it's one that like they're not gonna you don't mind i don't think kids are gonna get this movie though you don't think so you think it's just kids are too far

gone hope it's lost it's a 90s movies a 90s movie set in the 60s i don't think so? You think it's just kids are too far gone? Hope is lost? It's a 90s movie set in the 60s. I don't think they're going to be like, what the fuck? A, they're not going to know who Baby Ruth is. That's true. They probably don't even know what those candy bars are to get that part of the joke.

They won't know what a drugstore is. They're just going to be... Do people still make tree houses? I don't think that's a thing anymore no the hoa would get jump on that in five seconds hoa is the enemy yeah what about well what do you what's the what's the video game where you build like houses and tree houses and shit animal crossing they'll be able to figure it out from that. Yeah, that's true. But yeah, I don't think... I think this is a movie where like if you

show it to your kids expecting them to love it, you're going to be slightly disappointed. You just watch it with them, right? It's like you watch all the old movies from your past with your kids and they either take them or leave them. I don't know. Yeah.

That's all you can ask. Yeah, exactly. Like, you know, it's not going to hurt my feelings if my kid doesn't like the sword in the stone or emperor's new groove, but it probably means that the kid is a psychopath and I should watch him

more closely. It's going to like it. I'm going to fucking teach him a lesson. I'm an old yeller. That kid. That's what I'm going to do. Imagine if he didn't like the Newsies. I still

have never seen the Newsies. Oh, boy. I can't wait for us to break down. That's on the list. I watched it when I was back. I watched it with my sister. Just like back in the day. Yeah. Anyways, all right. Any final thoughts on Sandlot? It's a gem.

It's a gem. it's a jam we got to do it shout out to louise and jesse for being in this movie so we could do it mike fatar brandon adams just as good in this one as they were in in mighty ducks um yeah premier childhood actors premier premier premier and um wait is louise louise isn't a kid in King Arthur's Court That's the other kid right I don't remember that movie at all A kid in King Arthur's Court I think a kid in King Arthur's Court Is a kid from

Oh that's the kid from Rookie of the Year Yeah that's not Sorry just ignore that Fans sorry So that's That's. Just ignore that, fans. Sorry. That's one thing. So the kid from Kidd and King Arthur's Court was the Rookie of the Year, which we're going to do Rookie of the Year here soon because Jesse the Cat is on the Rookie of the Year.

But it's interesting that we didn't get that kid or Patrick Granna, Ham, Porter. It's crazy we didn't get them in any of the Ducks movies, you know? Because they were in, like, every, you know, Big Green, all that. Him and that kid were in, like, every sports movie during this time frame. It's a wonder that they didn't get cast in the Ducks. Same with Ham in Heavyweights. That's a surprise you don't have Ham in Heavyweights.

What year was Heavyweights again? Was it like 95? I think it was 93. I can't remember. 95. Right after this, he would have been, yeah, right after this. He would have been fucking perfect. Let's say thank you

to the listeners for joining us on this. Happy 4th of July. America! Fuck yeah! What did I say the score was? 247 to nothing? Yeah, 247. Boom. Take that, Russia. Thanks for listening, everyone.

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