The Cake Eaters - 81. D3: The Mighty Ducks - Part 1

Episode Date: April 9, 2024

Heath & Brandon finally dive into D3: The Mighty Ducks! Today’s episode goes over minutes 0-10. They discuss the illustrious history of Eden Hall, Bombay causing trouble again, Charlie's teenage angst, Preppy Snobs, being down to one Bash Man, the insane rollerblading sequence, and the shrinking sphincter. Follow us on Instagram @thecakeeaterspod Email us at [e-mail]

Remember, it's not worth winning if you can't win! We're back, baby. This is the Cake Eaters podcast. Welcome back, baby. This is the Cake Eaters podcast. Welcome back, everybody. My name is Brandon. Let me introduce to you my wonderful co-host, as always, Heath. Heath, how are we doing? We're back.

Brandon, Brandon, I am ready to hit people with the one, the two, the three, the triple deke of D3. How do you feel about that? I mean, D3 triple deke. We need one more three, though. Is there another three in here? I don't know. It's the rule of threes. We can't be naming threes up, not using the rule of threes.

I mean, I have three pets there you go nailed it crushed it they're doing fantastic too you know we've been we've been out seven times this morning in four hours just to to try and convince them that the snow while yes taller than their their backsides it's not the enemy anyways brandon d mother loving three d3 we're back heath we're talking nothing but ducks now we went through uh it's because it's been because we did game changers it's been a long time since we talked about d2 yeah and boy i'm gonna go back to my nose leave a leave a bad taste in her mouth and Brandon, I don't know if you remember over a year, the D2 cakeys were November 22nd, 2022. That's when that was a long time.

What a journey we've been on. And I have not up until just right before we recorded watch D3. Like I have not even dipped my toe into it for the entire time we've done this podcast and so this is a full fresh brand spanking new freaking watch dude it's like do you smell that new car smell right now in the pod dude it just it feels really good honestly like yeah did you feel i feel rejuvenated did you actually i saw a tick tock about a dude that sued tesla because of the the new car smell put him to sleep fantastic this is that's us man we're not gonna fall asleep though i'm too jazzed up this is this is good like it's this is a really good one to talk about too because it's

the most controversial like you either love it or you do not it's controversial have you read the reviews everyone feels the same way as i do it's like it's it's a ducks but it's it's because they're idiots this is this is this is a golden a golden movie. This is Oscar worthy. Dude, they recycle some stuff. They literally recycle the goalie. But he's not a goalie in the first movie. What, are you talking about my boy Scott White? Yeah.

Scooter? That's too much. No, don't ban the Scooter. It's the Lannister kid in Game of thrones just they did it way before that you know the lannister kid what did they do with the game of thrones i know they did they reuse them yeah yeah the the the one that just did the swan dive off at the top of the building i'm blanking on everybody's name. Oh, God, I haven't watched it forever. He was one of the Lannister cousins

that the Snow's brother-in-arms killed because his sons died in battle from Jaime. You don't remember that? No. It's been a long time since I watched Game of Thrones. A long time. That's my biggest beef, dude. That's just my biggest beef we got scott white we got some some rehash that's a fair beef but i will i will argue two things okay one scott white is an angel

and a fantastic actor he crushes both roles yeah yeah i mean i like scott white too like we'll talk about his lines because they're good man like his intro is scooter fantastic scooter uh i i'll remember a scooter vividly from this movie because scooters fucking sassy shit dude brandon though i just have to tell you this this is a quote that i wanted to give you because this is how i was feeling as this movie kicked off all right and you'll appreciate this because i shifted from nervously optimistic to undeniably stressed bro i am straight up not having a good time i just have to tell you brandon and the listeners brandon has been telling me on this pod for what three is it two and a half years to just do something like that watch real bros the semi valley he just just watch real bros the semi valley it's real quick you can watch the whole thing in a day and and i

started watching season one and kelly came down and she's like hey is that real bros and i was like oh my god yes and she was like mind if i join and i was like oh my god yes every everybody loves real bros and and and we ripped through that in two days it is an amazing show how a major network didn't pick that up like for shame for shame i've been waiting for the new season and i don't think it's ever gonna happen it's too late it's too late it's kind of it was for what it like for the time my god it was amazing dude amazing everything about it is fantastic like oh hey you better get your boy bro what's he staring at me what's he making that face at me for he's a baby dude look at his dumb little face oh my god everything like when he breaks his legs and rubs his cbd lotion on his legs the cbd the best part about that when he's uh when he breaks his legs and he's in the

hospital and uh paul sheer is uh dude he plays the doctor fucking fantastic but he's like he's like you may never skate again and the bryce is like pull the plug pull the plug and he just starts reaching around and he unplugs the tv pull the plug oh dude that's the guy i steal his lines all the time from the league where he uh talks about his clear hair oh yeah andre yeah fantastic all right i just wanted to derail this such a good show though i had to derail us for a little bit because oh my god that was my favorite dude dude doesn't burn. And then when he finally burns, like overdoses. Oh my God. What's his name?

Wade doesn't burn. I'm getting mixed signals on whether or not Wade burns. That's the best one. I'm getting mixed signals over here. Does Wade burn or does he not burn? Johnny, hands down, is my favorite character. Can you please do me a favor and make a few Johnny shirts?

You can find them. People have made a whole bunch. I'm like TeePublic. Speaking of TeePublic, we just moved merch shout out. We got a new merch store on TeePublic go to thecakeyjuicepod.com click the little merch thing it'll take you right to it

we got some new shirts we'll be dropping new shirts as the episodes go along as well so stay glued to that but people have been making Real Bros shirts and stuff all that for years if you go on to there or any of those other sites i'm sure you can find some good ones i found them because i have a

sticker on my work laptop that says so steez and then um i have a i have a magnet on my fridge that said that says wade doesn't burn oh that is wow so steez way doesn't burn that's fantastic dude I really want to get a I almost did it a couple years ago when I was like really watching it and I regret not pulling the trigger I might do it now after this TV after we record this is get a dunk

surf t-shirt they I like I got I mean the word art that they use for the dunk surf that is absolutely yeah i honestly gave kelly some constructive feedback on her invite when she sent it out for goldens and golden she didn't even call it a fucking kickback all right so what's wrong with you man we're having a kickback you didn't even call it a kickback yeah you guys did have the uh you had the red uh the red solo cups too you had the cups like we had all the makings of a kickback yeah only thing that you changed maybe is

like you know she had hippie girl lo-fi playlist on maybe you maybe you switch it to a little more you know dj yeah throw some dj getter on there man yeah exactly kelly didn't know that was getter when we started watching i kelly didn't know that was getter when we started watching i was like i was like let's get her you know that right and she's like wait the dj that we've seen and i was like yeah and she's like oh i just knew he was the sad dude he is both in fact yeah one of the best characters like when he's when dude when he says that uh he's like yeah she fucked the dj just completely makes it happen so it's like yo man hey uh did you fuck that dj and the who's the friend with the red hair and her facial expression oh dude she's fantastic

she's she was my favorite like honestly, honestly, like Johnny was number one. Her the red hair girl and her facial expressions when people would say the things that they said were just absolutely the favorite wrinkle. All right. So let's get back to D3. Hard stop right there. I just I told you I would derail us for 20 minutes pre-show. I told you I had a quote that would derail us for 20 minutes, and I'm kind of glad we did it. So go check out Real Bros.

We'll do an extended podcast two years from now on the show. Like, we'll just do it. We'll just go completely rogue. Okay. Okay. Back to D3. Back to D3. Dope.

Check it out. D3. Let's go. D3. We're back. The Heath. They kick it off beautifully with the music the flashbacks oh my god i got it dude i said starts off with classic ducks intro and we got some awesome 90s like

intro montage music to set the tone we've got montage of the previous movies starts with the limo scene come on brandon classic the practice where they're shooting eggs at bombay did you like failing of the ducks uni yeah did you like the the music was fantastic because they went from the um the end like the intro music that the the classic mighty ducks intro music that everybody knows that they use in one and two yeah they went from that and then when they started doing the flashbacks they went into um I forget exactly what but it's it's they use the song from D1 I forget what song it's in it might be the the the one of the egg might be the egg scene I don't know but they were they were blending music from all from the first two movies oh i didn't realize that it was it was fantastic though like i loved it like oh dude and then charlie charlie charlie with the one two three triple deke oh my god brandon

it just it was fantastic and then that's where we don't see it, though, but Bombay comes up to the podium, gets introduced. Yep. He's speaking. He's at Eden Hall Academy in Minneapolis, Minnesota. The alma mater? Is it still the alma mater if it's high school or is that just college? I don't know. To be completely honest with you

my element like my 10 year old wayne america brain had a really hard time comprehending the idea of a prep school i was like wait yeah this is this is wild they live there their parents let them live there could you imagine he would have never they don't they don't they don't all live there i got i got notes on that i can clarify that for you some live on campus some don't only the only the only the the new ducks the out-of-towners are on campus everybody else is still living i mean i would still consider it an alma mater especially like a prep school like i think it is yeah yeah so it's 1000 percent like i am technically wayne high school alumni right 20 years dude 20 years at chicken days this year can you believe that that's crazy man yeah i am old oldest oh i know like

kelly actually sometimes talks about me dying i'm like man tell like she's like well you know the way you act you gotta it's like your heart might just you got a will set up no like you gotta get one of those do you think so i mean i'm closer to 40 than 20 that's for sure do you have anything that's gonna it's gonna necessitate a will i guess your record collection now yeah i mean dude i told kelly i was like listen if i do die you better sell this shit dude because i've like you know like my comic books don't just give them away okay like it's not only are you dying on here but now you're leaving her the burden of offloading all of your stuff great it's not offloading she it's like you can you don't need to like do a lot like you know she's on my life insurance for work and i was like and then you can just you know what i've always

all my shit and you can live off of it for a very long time like like you like i was like these are assets that you can yes you have to sell them but like you can make a good chunk of money if the economy doesn't crash and then it's a lot of work though you know what i've always wanted to do and they make it hard you got to know um i think you have to know at least the last four of the social right to add somebody as a beneficiary i would love to set up um just a random person a beneficiary though a nice surprise for somebody then that feel like it actually would be really fun like my third like my like my third grade teacher or

something i'm dying and i'm probably gonna outlive her yeah yeah i was gonna say you should i don't know she's probably she's probably a lot healthier than i am she'll show up a five years left do the killmans oh no i would never do the killmans i'm not no that would gerald there you go just do you okay i would do gerald if you're listening gerald which i know you're not you're about to be brandon's beneficiary all right all right so bombay gets to the podium and he starts talking but the the uh montage that keeps going it shows the tied together scene when they fall down brandon shows the bash brothers talking iceland i don't know if we if we actually said it or not during my uh figuring out if it's the right term this is bombay's alma mater though he went to eden hall yeah that's that's our connection here yep yep and and we've got duane when he perks up to go rope the dude i didn't look at the bench i

should have paused that i wonder if they showed scott white on the bench when the bash brothers were taunting him um i think he is on the the bench oh my god that's fantastic um russ scoring the the goal with the goalie stuff on and celebrating charlie getting the american flag from banks oh my god what a journey you know it's really taking us through that ride and then we open up and it's the podium into the press conference introducing the ducks with those full ride scholarships Eaton Hall baby full ride athletic scholarships

the Eaton Hall Warriors I was a Midland warrior for just a hot minute and they had to change their logo midway through my year and then they changed it to a knight that looked like a penis but kept the warrior name it was really weird oh interesting you know yeah that's what i said i was like this

is a disaster they do bring up the name debate in this movie ahead of its time really if you think about it yeah exactly that's it it was 2004 well i guess i guess their name yeah i guess not really ahead of its time because all those colleges it was either like late 80s early 90s but anyway the the one thing i want to talk about with the podium here is they right here in the like the little um intro press conference they're doing or whatever and then throughout the rest of movie, they continue to refer to these group of kids as the ducks, which from my experience in mergers and acquisitions, it's a mistake. Yeah, you were creating the divide almost instantaneously.

In my experience in mergers and acquisitions. Dude, every company that I've worked at has either been while i was there has either merged or bought somebody you know i'm well versed in mergers and acquisitions well you're you're a fantastic um well and we know except for except for my current company of course they're running independent 89 boy better than anyone that you gotta cut the cord with that when it comes to charlie right like you gotta just oh that was feeding that was feeding his little yeah absolutely like that that guy introducing them as the ducks gave number one it was the whole podium and press conference like i get it right they just won the gold medal

it's exciting to bring the team in um i i'll talk about it now because i have in my notes uh that i was i was thinking about this once once we get a little farther along when when bombay drops i mean classic fucking bombay waiting till the last absolute minute to drop the fucking news oh my god right yeah get some ship some all out there that with them also he's going to be the coach i mean it's still a great opportunity but still my theory was so here's my theory i'm going to i'm going to switch to you okay so my theory is eden hall did not they they even the dean who's like kind of their champion and kind of wants them to do good he's very off-puttish and um cold to the Ducks from the get-go right yeah my theory is Eden

Hall did not want the Ducks they wanted Bombay right they were like hey Bombay will you come coach and he I he I'm my theory is he struck a deal where he was like i'll come coach but you gotta you gotta you have to give everybody you gotta give all my ducks a scholarship i gotta bring them with me and they were like okay we can do that as long as you're gonna come all while he's making this deal he's also talking to the goodwill games uh about that role that he that lawyer bombay that makes sense brandon because then at the end at the very end i'm assuming he didn't tell uh in my theory he doesn't tell eden hall until right about this time as well where he's like oh hey i'm not gonna coach yeah but

here's all my kids yeah good luck and then he goes off to the junior goodwill games that's my theory is that the eden hall that's why they're so standoffish to them the whole time because it's like we wanted bombay bombay did the little trickery here and now we're stuck with the ducks yeah yeah i mean that's kind of like yeah like if a college coach went and then recruited a whole bunch of people and then dipped after the first year and it was like cool good luck with it it's classic bombay yeah to not to wait until the very last moment to tell anybody you know um i love how like they're at the podium they end the conference he turns to charlie's mom and he goes i should probably tell him now right yeah what are we what the are you waiting for maybe i should tell them first that's

what he says well he says maybe i should tell him first tell Charlie first because he tells Charlie by himself alone and then I'm assuming he goes to the rest of the ducks and drops the bomb and then poor man beautiful scenic view right on the lake dude yeah it's beautiful but yeah yeah poor so so what an opportunity director and player personnel for the junior goodwill games doing like the scouting and shit like that's that is a good opportunity for bombay you can't i don't know that's uh i don't know how he i don't know how he wrangled that that job that's his eye for talent right like well he brought he brought he brought all the ducks with him which i guess you can kind of oh oh, that's a little bit of scouting and player personnel.

But all of the new ducks was Tibbles. Tibbles brought those guys in. Bombay didn't bring them in. Maybe Tibbles showed him. Well, it's the junior Goodwill game, so he'll still have Tibbles in the fold. Hopefully. I don't know. Do you think Tibbles got fired between D2 and now?

This is a successful Goodwill game. No, no, no. He didn't get fired but i mean out of sight out of mind maybe he got promoted if i don't see tibbles does he exist jeez i don't know brandon that's a real um schrodinger's cat type of situation you know i don't know what to i don't know what to do with it you're getting too philosophical on the people here brandon but uh but so so we have the podium they're going to eden hall full scholarships bombay bails yeah uh as a result of bombay

bailing charlie is super butthurt too he's like you just dump us at this school and now you've abandoned us it's some real you know divorce parents abandonment issues stuff coming up here for well i mean he does he he does have abandonment issues um yeah that's what i'm saying oh yeah and he's 15 16 maybe yeah this is like this is prime like dad not in the picture rebellious teen what happened to uh just fucking ditched me it last year on the bench to be a coach what happened to um uh forget if they mention it later on in this movie but they talked about his uh his uh his uh mom's boyfriend in d2 briefly i wonder if that was still going if they're uh didn't seem like it because she seemed pretty single you know buddying up with bombay there you know with bullshit one conversation with them oh brandon i i saw it in the eyes you just the eyes well i mean that's a that's a i mean that's a spark you never fully get rid of you know as hard as hard as you try come on that's the thrill of that peewee championship my god but uh but as a

result of bombay bailing portman bails too yeah yeah which is a real which is a real bummer and charlie like is like bleeding with him please coach don't go yeah i'd be kind of i'd be fucking kind of i'd be fucking pissed too i mean i guess i'd be mad i don't know especially with this when you go from funhouse bombay to drill sergeant freaking what's his face coach orion what's this turn it into my dad yeah but uh anyways um fucking bombay dude i we we go through this every goddamn time with bombay i mean his kids abandoned them in every every fucking time an elimination game his communication and his timing is just unbelievable un Un-fucking-believable. You're right. Like, listen, it's a great opportunity, but it is a dick move.

Oh, it's 100%. It's a dick move, 100%. But, you know, I get it. To be honest, like, Fulton and Charlie and Goldberg, they'd be going to, like, you know, just public high school. They're going to get a good education. They're going to get good opportunities. They're going to play at a school that's won 10 straight championships like you know and he just

he doesn't know these fucking kids anything you know he's known him for what four years he doesn't know he doesn't know these kids fucking anything yeah that's what i'm saying right anyway so that but we the introduction to the Seton Hall campus, we see all the out-of-towners. Eden Hall. Eden Hall. God. Seton Hall is a university in New Jersey.

The Pirates. Pirates. Damn it. Yes. Yes, I know. I've been getting real saucy with some college basketball parlays brandon and i have been hitting them although i will say this purdue fort wayne purdue fort wayne i've got some real fucking beef with those kids if they twice they were the kicker on my eight leg parlay that was going to be a big winner and those six sons of bitches

lost twice at home as favorites at home get your shit together Purdue Fort Wayne men's college basketball team the mastodons and see like damn it Purdue Fort Wayne I got a lot

of beef with them right now dude like i bet a dollar and have been ripping these parlays and i had a crazy one 250 bet a dollar to win 250 in purdue fort wayne lost at home mastodons bastards sorry wait hold on let's get back to the movie where did we oh because I did it I told you I was going to do it it was an accident damn it Eaton Hall and I did it the whole time not Eaton

Eden Hall yeah boy it's only spelled out in every scene of the movie you know i have about four different variations of it in my notes if i'm being completely honest we got e-t-e-n-e-d-e-n-e-d-o-n and uh s-e-t-o-n e-t-o o n that's oh yeah there's well because like there's it would be sprinkled in throughout my notes there's seaton hall without the s sprinkled in there there's there's e t e n so you as well okay so you were calling iton hall and of the two options where you spelled eden

did not spell it right at all no no no no that's fantastic um yeah no it's eden hall eden hall yeah isn't that the is it not the bible thing the garden of eden oh yeah yeah you're right. Well, all right. So me being an idiot aside and unable to comprehend simple names. Jesus, that's really disappointing. We have the out-of-towners. Thank you for calling me on that, Brandon. Eden. Eden Hall. All right.

So we have the out-of-towners on campus, and we get Russ immediately jumping in, understanding like oh my god i'm not in california anymore he says i think this place is running low on the brothers quotient and he is a thousand percent right i don't think i saw another black person yep yep we are in you know minnesota except for the teacher the teacher which is is not in this not part one but part two later on they got a teacher who's black yeah we'll get back to that because there's a lot to break down there um julie the cat though she wants to know this coach orion because her dad was like listen if this guy sucks because bombay bailed you just bring your little happy took us on back to bangor and the ripcord yep we'll get you back and russ but russ's dad is like i'm gonna whip your

butt if you lose this scholarship that's fantastic russ russ did some good stuff right like that's keenan peak of his powers it's 1996 he's got those 10 years old those sick ass sunglasses he's wearing oh my god dude keenan was so cool and, I know my favorite character of his will forever and always be the, the, the Pierre, uh, yeah. As far as his French in the bathtub. Fantastic. Um, and then Louise heard that the coach played for the Minnesota North stars got suspended for punching out his own coach.

Who's this? Is this Wolf the Dentist again? I was going to say, it was very, very... Recycled there. Wolf the Dentist. Yeah. Dwayne. Latrell Sprewell.

Oh, yeah. He's going to choke out, choking out, choking out dudes. That's fine. But did he choke out? That wasn't Larry Brown, was it? That he choked out? No, no no it was um oh he went on to be one of the desk guys for espn on their game day stuff pj carlistimo yeah yep yep that's who it is i'm good damn i'm good uh but do you like duane correcting luis because he's like dallas stars now because

in between the first movie and this movie the stars move from minneapolis to dallas and speaking of minneapolis sports teams the wild have been a bit underperforming this year well that's that's the wild they do that been down i hate the wild and down those guys i have a uh really nice wild jacket from when i worked for the arrows you know before they moved to the to the iowa wild which made sense like putting putting them in iowa and des moines building a nice little little arena for it it's smart putting anything in iowa doesn't make a lick of sense well listen you're brandon you don't have to tell me how much iowa sucks you're getting soft in your old age here heath listen it made good business sense for the minnesota wild i'm not saying it

was smart if they were smart they would have put it in Omaha. That is a classy city full of vibrant, just access to everything. Dude, it's fantastic. And they put in a pitch for an NHL team. Yeah, that's not going to happen. Well, could you imagine? Dude, you and I, as number one and number two Supernovas fans in Colorado, you're talking shit about Omaha getting a hockey team?

Yeah, because they've tried to have minor league hockey teams before and they fail miserably. They would never, dude, the NHL team would sell out every game and I would go. They had an AHL team and it didn't, they moved because they weren't selling any tickets. Well, that was when

Omaha was still finding its footing. Like, Omaha is figuring the shit out. The Omaha Exarban Knights. That was their name. I love everything Exarban. I love everything Exarban.

Alright, so I do love the Supernovas, though. Yeah, that's... just fired well this is gonna date the podcast they fired their coach did you see that oh no i didn't yeah they went he's after one and one the scuttlebutt is that there was uh you know um ulterior motives besides performance to the firing i don't i don't have any confirmation on that though some uh some chaos behind the scenes but all right hold on let's get back to the movie because the kids are talking about coach orion and julie the cat says i heard he was a buddhist monk like kung fu or richard greer i haven't

richard gear gear i have i have in my notes is richard gearere a Buddhist? I just laughed really hard. Because that's Pretty Woman guy, right? Isn't that Richard Gere? Yeah. Pretty Woman. Oh, shit. He is a Buddhist. Dude, I remember watching Pretty Woman at my babysitter's when I was six years old.

What a movie to not watch with a six-year-old. But I sure enjoyed sandra bullock yeah yeah here's a picture of him with the dolly llama the goddamn guy's a buddhist oh damn all right dude shout out julie the cat um but kenny says uh kung fu was a trappist monk yeah um and then keenan talking about the old or the new adventures of kung fu i have a feeling if you were a kung fu master

going around beating people up that would conflict a lot yeah with some of those real peaceful um peaceful yeah constructs you know but but anyways um that scene ends with duane telling everybody like hey y'all watch too much tv should be roping cattle and then i also love when it's we get moved to the next scene and it's charlie's mom dropping him off in an alley yeah well not in

alley the alley but those those it was at four it's four kids right it's or is it five yeah it's those five the five new ducks kenny russ wayne luis julie those are the ones that are living in the dorms on campus oh okay the rest of the ducks as we see when a little bit later when they're bobbing to the school they're all still at home yeah i i okay i for some reason thought that all of them were there but i yeah that makes more sense it makes more sense Brandon alright well we get I love Charlie calls it out too Charlie finally calls it out it finally

happens I love that I thought that was fantastic but before that Charlie's like yeah hey mom it's gonna be okay cause I'm gonna have my support ducks with me during the new school it's gonna be scary but my ducks will be there. They just make Charlie sound like a real baby, you know?

He's a 15-year-old kid. But everyone else is 15-year-old kids. They don't make them seem kind of the worst. I mean, Fulton kind of. All these kids are fucking terrible. Well, Luis later on. Luis, yeah. all of them dude louise is kind of uh kind of a creep in this movie you know

doesn't know i don't know if he i don't know i don't think he doesn't know watched a little bit too far after for our second episode and he hits creep status there. Can't be crawling under the cheerleaders table like that. I forgot about that scene. And then to do the tip, we'll talk about it when we get there. It's not very chill.

But yeah, so we got Charlie and Fulton in the alley and Charlie's like, Fulton, you ever think about shooting into the back of the alley instead of the street? No. Absolutely not. And Fulton, this is where Fulton tells us, found out Portman isn't coming. He's staying in Chicago.

Bombay bailed and he bailed too. What am I now? Mr. Bash, the Bash Man? That's the T-shirt I was telling you about mr bash the bash man with the people with the folding on there that's the shirt okay that's the shirt for this episode that we're doing mr bash keep an eye out okay i love that and then we get and then getting nailed but when he's talking about mr bash the bash man what about kenny we got kenny so it's not the same that's true kenny kenny wasn't his roomie you know kenny is uh a foot

shorter and like 150 pounds lighter kenny is the kickstand to that bash brother bicycle i like that you can cut that for tick tock but yeah so goldberg is coming in he gets he gets nailed why am i always getting shot at because you're the goalie deal classic fulton dude love it thanks for being real sensitive fulton dude every okay so i gotta take it back i i just i really did it's a great movie getting back it's it's good it's not it doesn't have the magic of the first one it doesn't have like the well it's because we we don't have because we're missing bombay yeah it doesn't have the magic of the first one we've established the spirit of the second one but the third one is good we we have established throughout the first talking about the first the and the second and even game changers yeah without bombay

you don't have the magic you don't have the minnesota miracle magic yeah you know he's an integral part this and they they figured that out i thought they figured that out with this movie which was that's why it was such a fucking shocker when they did season two without him they've done this before right it crashed and burned as good as this movie as much as i like this movie it crashed and burned it's a fun watch like if you if you it's like you know what it is it is exactly like the ninja turtles movies it is exactly like the ninja turtles movies brandon the first one awesome like next so awesome that they did partnerships with pizza hut where they were a band dude and then

the second one of you and then the second one with toka and razor judge um yeah the goodness of something based on corporate partnerships Heath listen Brandon I'm just saying that was awesome and because like I remember when my buddy got the vhs of the ninja turtles concert it was pretty next level watching that on the on the vcr dude and then and then you get to the third one right after the like the secret of the ooze was awesome was it a little campy yes did it hit with kids and not everyone absolutely but then the third one is it good yeah is it one that you're going to go out of your way to watch no you're going to go out of your way to watch the first two but if you watch the first two can't just not watch the third because you're going to probably be pleasantly

surprised that was a long way to get us there, but I'm glad you shared that. Dude, Ninja Turtles trilogy and the Mighty Ducks trilogy. Lots of similarities. Yeah. You heard it here first. All right. So, so, all right. So let's get back again. This is going to take many, many hours, but I just, I had a lot of fun watching this.

You know, it was just fantastic so we end the alley scene though but this is where i didn't like charlie he's just coming in with a bad attitude brandon and i don't like it like we need some open-mindedness going into this situation you gotta make the most of it but he's coming in because they're they're preppy there's their cake eaters is what they are my stars you there's there's a reason jesse ain't here okay because he ain't he ain't mixing with cake eaters listen brandon you learned from banks all right not all people didn't die but he's not here i don't know why all cake eaters are bad welcome to banks thanks in a cake eater he is he's uh brandon he's he's the he's a he's a black sheep in a family of cake eaters

listen i do believe charlie calls them cake eaters in somewhere in this and no he calls them preppy snobs uh well here he calls them preppy snobs but i think later on in the movie he calls them cake eaters somewhere or it's like softly mentioned i can't remember yeah without jesse um i can't remember if anybody drops the cake eaters line um i yeah that's that's why he's that's why jesse's not here wouldn't dare cake eaters he wouldn't dare be caught at eaton hall disgusting yeah eaters fucking traitors dude call yourself ducks so after the alley scene we get a first day of school assembly where they also not only do an introductory press conference but they do an assembly for the school, of course

everyone is going to hate these freaking ducks, dude. A, we're in Minnesota and it's the goddamn hockey team. They won a gold medal. I get it. I get it. But my favorite is... I got some

information about you. I got a little fun fact. After that, I want to introduce us to our varsity bullies because we get some good content here get some good content with eden hall though they he not to be confused with seaton hall people get your together go ahead brandon keep going um dean buckley who uh was bombay's old biology teacher is doing this whole speech his speech doesn't make any fucking sense when he starts

talking about tight buttholes and everything didn't make any sense to me but oh my god it's it's it's true Eden Hall is a fictional, prestigious prep school in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Four-year academy featured in the D3 Mighty Ducks is a private school with tuition and scholarships awarded to deserving students. Gordon Bombay went to school here. The academy has on-campus dorms that some of the students reside in. Most of the Ducks who live minnesota commute to eden hall academy julie russ duane louise ken all lived on the door in the dorms of eden hall um yep that's that's pretty much it but yeah that's a good rundown that's solid he mentions its uh inception was in 1903 oh geez that would put us this is what 96 that would put us at uh 93 years 93 years old damn wow what a journey the warriors the warriors wow

what a journey but so back to uh so yeah so then we're we were they just happened so so uh julie rush yeah they wander wander in and they happen to sit right in front of the varsity hockey team varsity hockey team which is you know what you ducks don't belong at eden hall is it for us it's like what do we take easy rest they probably don't know who we are love that like just the arrogance of the ducks and um just obliviousness is amazing it's i'm dwayne we're the new hockey team and you are my favorite is the gum in the hand is so disrespectful oh my god i said i put total alpha move that's like a that's like a joe rogan bully alpha move dude where it's just puts out his duane puts out his hand to shake his hand and puts his

fucking gum in his hand wow the disrespect it's cold right yeah cool cool because we don't get his name until later and i was like geez if we don't get this guy's name soon i'm gonna make one up and it's gonna be a disaster for the podcast so that's cole who's played by michael kudlitz i don't know if you're familiar with michael cutlets like like like timmy cutlets from this football season like c-u-c-u-d-l-i-t-s c-u-d-l-i-t-s michael kudlitz Cudlets. Cudlets. Michael Cudlets. But he's in stuff. He's in everything. He's in The Walking Dead. That's probably what everybody will recognize.

Oh, yeah. But he's in he's like in kids movies as like a bully. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He does the bully role for sure um yeah where is he

all right keep going but so that's cole and then the other guy that they're talking to is rick who's like the captain varsity that's played by uh christopher or double r and he's in stuff too right i don't think so i don't think he's in oh is he not in stuff i just i don't know i guess he's uh he's in some stuff he's like side roles he's like he plays the waiter's friend and shaft i don't know if you remember that no gripping role shaft and then he did he did a bunch of he did a bunch of like tv show parts too. But those are our two varsity captain bullies. And then your boy, Scooter, you can see him one row back just chilling. Yeah.

Chilling, dude. But this is where post-Gum, the captain of the varsity team what's his name rick rick literally just said it yeah sorry his name is seton see seton hall and eaton hall eden hall um and he's like he's like he's like varsity the only hockey team state champs you know my little brother lost his jv spot when they brought you yo-yos in here remember remember the big yo-yo craze in the late 90s zone like doing the tricks a couple couple points here one okay so what but hold on julie the cat, he probably wasn't good enough. And that's where that kind of scene ends.

So I have a note to talk about this later on in some of the other parts. Why did they kick people off of JV? That doesn't make any fucking sense. Because when we get to practices and games, we only have

12 kids that's not a team heath why are we kicking kids off the fucking team we need more bodies we talk about this every fucking movie they don't have enough kids to feel the fucking team anyway the other the other thing i want to point out though is keenan had a great fucking comeback i forget to what what rick said uh oh rick's talking about his dad it comes up next it comes out next he says see that's my dad he's gonna he's gonna get the board to revoke your scholarships just you wait and then keenan says that's your dad nice outfit did it come with a yacht great fucking busted got him fucking nailed what a sucker rick uh geez get your shit together rick dude that guy

that guy sucks i got it i legitimately laughed out loud to that did it come with a yacht so i mean i didn't know how insulting that is right like if you can afford a yacht it's pretty cool well that's the joke because he can can afford a yacht, it's pretty cool. Well, that's a joke. He can't afford a yacht. He had to get a buy one, get one deal. Fucking poor. What did you think about the local ducks quacking down the street?

Hear that comma, just a quacking down the street. How do you feel about that, Brandon? A little freestyle there. I'm all for the quacking. I do want to point the beastie boys quacking too i'm all i do want to point out when they're they're mobbing down the down the road and they're the roller skates that banks wearing a sweater vest yeah that's what they said nice tie banks no this is where charlie says nice time thanks cake eater oh there we go okay yeah caught it in the because the subtitles also where they someone it just said it just the subtitles labeled the

speaker quote unquote duck and it says averman where are you taking us yeah and you know this is another thing they recycled from from d uh d2 yeah hated it dude they just stole it from from d2 where it literally was the exact same thing it was just uh goldberg caused way more chaos than just interrupting yeah he he he one-upped it oh geez i don't know is it but he does charlie charlie i'm a goalie not a skater i'm a goalie, not a skater. I'm a goalie, not a skater is a great line. And then I love that Charlie keeps calling him Goldie. Oh, dude. What do you?

Okay, so this is where we get. So not to traumatize you here, but when he's after he goes down the stairs and they're skating down the alleyway and that pit bull chases after him. Got some green room flashbacks for a second there. Oh, Brandon. No. I didn't even. Pit bull's coming in hot. I had put that movie so far behind me.

Like, I hate you for bringing it back up. Kind of. Jeez Louise, dude. I also do want to say they did a uh they did a much better job of cutting around the stunt skaters in the scene than they did in d2 d2 it was incredibly obvious there were some skaters this one still obvious but less so hold on i actually have a lot of beef with this whole sequence brandon i need to get into my beef one, I hated him going down the stairs. Number two, got caught. That's a classic laugh track is rollerblades going downstairs.

I mean, I get it. But I do have to say the pit bull munching on the trash with the absolute trash gremlin that resides in my home it just like brought up we literally have to put the trash up or lock it away because she had like in my old house in houston i used to have to wedge a chair into where the pantry was so because she figured out how to open the pantry door and that little goddamn trash gremlin would she ate an entire walmart chicken carcass and then jenkins that little son of a bitch would go and pee on the trash that was his oh it's just ah trash dogs dude anyways flapjack's flapjack's just as bad well not just as bad but he's uh he loves he loves going through trash he's a big uh any kind of like like if you like throw like a paper towel away or whatever

he loves that shit he's like jenkins loves kleenexes dude he'll just like you'll just catch him with his little head over the over the lip of the uh you know the bathroom trash it jake ends and he'll just like set it down and slowly back out it's really good stuff but so i also have second beef is we have another just silly outdated reference during this alley scene that where charlie says he's basically like hey goldberg look out kujo the dog is chasing you and this is reference to a saint bernard movie from the late 80s kujo it's one of the most popular books in the world heath it's a stephen king novel is it yes I hated it I hate these weird references this is my brothers all over again that one is way way less egregious than Mark's Brothers whatever I thought it was Mark's Brothers Oliver I'm not a big Stephen King guy like one of the most popular

books in the world dude why would you want to read about like horror stuff man it just it creates way too much vivid imagery for me i don't like it it's like reading game of thrones dude some of those calisi and cal drogo scenes i reading it is you know it's rough kujo that's not a terrible reference though kujo because kujo for a kid's movie dude i knew about kujo when i was a kid whatever okay so um all right so charlie gets uh goldberg gets caught in the hose charlie gets sprayed goldberg gets spun around but then we flip back to the kickoff still happening and this is where the dean says and we dare not to shrink from the specter of change this speech made no fucking sense he was just saying buzzwords it's like dwight's speech and exactly he's just

talking in circles uh but this is where we get the type type because what did he say something what did he say something about a shrinking sphincter shrinking sphincter really good stuff but this is I wasn't a big fan of Goldberg going through the traffic Charlie's in hot pursuit

and did you see Charlie jumps a fucking car in traffic that was fucking tight dude stop it come on stop it come on goldberg's up on one foot what do i do charlie and then he charlie finally catches up trucks bridge and then they fly off the bridge and land smack down right with all the rest of the ducks and Abram and... That's where I have the problem

with this scene. Because this is how we end our first ten minutes, Brandon. If we end with the line Goldberg, don't you ever do that to me again. That's where it ends. The ten minute... I hate it. Come on. That's where it ends. The 10 minute... I hated that. That was so dumb.

That was so dumb. The only one... I will say, Charlie jumping the car was fucking badass, okay? Okay. The problem I have is the bridge jump

because they're going down, right? They go through the two trucks and when they jump off the bridge, they are perpendicular with the road, right? With the bridge. and when they jump off the bridge they are perpendicular with the road

right with the bridge and then they land and they're parallel with it they would have had to do a crazy turn that they didn't do you know what i'm saying like they they the way the way in which their bodies landed is physically impossible from how they jumped i mean brandon you are i'm not gonna argue with it i genuinely did not care for that scene at all like that's that's i like maybe if they do it why don't you go go get in bed with big bridge like you always are big bridge that's not even a thing it's all a fucking cover-up heat oh my gosh but that's that's him jumping the car was pretty fucking badass though dude what that's you know what like you know what remember that wasn't that a commercial for sprite or something when kobe

jumped the car that's what it reminded me of you know what i fucking love it reminded me of high love because there's it's it i see these clips so often people must be doing this all the fucking time but people try to like jump cars right like they're like run and jump over and there's always the fail ones where they miss i fucking love those they just smash the windshield it's the best love it i mean there's nothing i mean there's a reason there's blooper things, right? Like fucking Rob Dredrick did that with MTV for a long time, dude. Is he still doing that? I always think it's a bit and it's never a bit you're just so fucking stupid what's his name rob deer deck deer deck oh geez

i wish someone would have told me that a long time ago i've been saying it wrong for a long time he is still doing it though i believe that show is still going It's like the only thing they show on MTV Yeah I guess you're right I mean yeah Except when they show the challenge That's my jam Big challenge guy CT shout out

Johnny Bananas They've just been You think Johnny Bananas would come on the pod I bet he's a big duck he might what challenge are you talking about real world road rules yeah but now it's just now it's just called the challenge because those things don't exist oh gotcha I we've been they've been doing some offshoots of that for love island we've really gotten into it they do they do they didn't they did a love island games this year for the first

time they got into that that was fun and love island people on the show all the time oh really they bring them all stars for the uk and it's fascinating love that's what i got because i was a huge challenge guy growing up watching him and then i kind of fell off and then i got sucked back into it again when they started bringing all the british uh reality stars into it too and those those accents man oh do you have to watch it with subtitles on otherwise you can't understand what they're saying like i i i want to feel like i'm there i go no subtitles i try to like immerse myself jeez dude i can't imagine going to england i would need subtitles

for all of them i just have to like look at them well it depends on what what part of england you go to london you'd be fine london yeah there's no terrible accents there but you start you start or scotland yeah yeah you start wandering away from the cities it's uh pretty incoherent pretty quick yeah it's true right but yeah that's brandon what a what a journey we just went on with the first 10 minutes of d3 yes time stamp wow time stamp give them give the people the timestamp. 10 minutes, 11 seconds.

Right where, right when he says Goldberg, don't you ever do that to me again is where we're going to end part one here. Part two, I'll pick up right there. Part two is I'll give you the timestamp as well. It's a minute,

10, 10 minute marker, 11 seconds. And then it's going to go through the 21st minute, 11 seconds. And then it's going to go through the 21st minute, 17 seconds. Slightly bigger one. But yeah,

part one, we're back. I'm fucking excited. We've got 10 plus hours more of this. Yeah. If you're listening to this buckle up yeah it's it's gonna be fantastic we have any like my favorite part movie dude when they go mall when we get back to the mall of america i fucking love i just i just thought of the

greatest joke in the fucking world though you don't blow your mind all right go so telling everybody you know we got 10 plus hours of this. Buckle up, right? Because this is just the tip of the Goldberg. Alright. Nailed it. Fucking nailed it. We'll be right back. Bye.