The Cake Eaters - 82. D3: The Mighty Ducks - Part 2

Episode Date: April 23, 2024

Heath & Brandon continue talking D3: The Mighty Ducks! Today’s episode goes over minutes 10-20. The boys discuss the cast of teachers and animals at Eden Hall, Heath's disdain for Fire Ants, the best snack foods, Brandon gives us another rendition of Jersey Time, and we get our first look at the great Coach Orion! Follow us on Instagram @thecakeeaterspod Email us at [e-mail]

It's not worth winning if you can't win! Yeah! quack attack i want to play big like that quack attack i thought you were gonna go longer okay oh should i keep keep quacking and attacking never stop so good from the big diesel I wanna play big like that but we're quacking and we're attacking and we're doing a lot of things that start with a W Brandon

do they do the tomahawk chop the tomahawk chop like the chefs like the chefs the tomahawk chop like the like the chefs like the chefs yeah the tomahawk chop yeah like the kansas city chefs oh yeah they do the tomahawk chop and the braves do too they do that in this movie though don't they or maybe later on i don't know anyway this is the cake eaters podcast my name is brandon we are diving back into d3 i'm heath by the way brandon i was gonna i was gonna get to it okay it's it's about timing and building

anticipation okay sorry and just blow your load as soon as we get in here okay he's fully prematurely evacuated like i know wait like what is he a premature evacuation i think oh she's gonna think i have premature evacuation yeah we are prematurely evacuated all over your intro and i am so sorry should i let me just let me just take this step back okay it's understandable because we we ended last we ended part one talking uh with dean buckley about tight butt holes and so i get i get i get it i get it you know it happens to everybody understandable i just love that you made that correlation of the shrinking sphincter to the type of all dude that's just that's you you haven't done a lot of good things in this podcast brandon but that's i've uh i've done so many good things remember the dead dead mom jokes

those are fucking classics dude classics oh dude on my face sorry my face is glowing on our zoom i just opened up the blinds though because it's a beautiful winter wonderland outside right now it's fantastic it's yeah yeah it's beautiful you know golden it's a fresh beautiful place a fresh pal oh yeah dude some nar pal brother yeah so steez dude dude the nar pal is so steez gonna go rip maybe shred gotta burn too you burn oh dude I don't know dude I know Wade doesn't burn I can tell you that I don't love shit okay so good all right so we have just jumped off the bridge charlie's doing the kobe car jump and then we get we're back at the introductory heist like not the press conference but the school assembly brandon which i want to point out this is a very lackluster stage design

it kind of looks like your typical assembly hall in a school like an old school it looks like mine like a poor ass public school this is a fucking prestigious prep school I think they can afford some better set design

the funding went to the hockey team and all that production dude there was not enough leftovers that's right would you see fartsy would you get a peek at the the rink this part beauty beautiful rink gorgeous with yeah a lot of banners he's 10 consecutive state championships wait is the coach that they showed that won the 10 consecutive coach wilson coach wilson why does he look familiar because he's the guy who played the ref in d1 and d2 i fucking knew it i knew it okay and once again brandon we're talking about why I just have some problems with this movie, right? His name is Jack White, by the way. The actor's name is Jack White.

So he was the ref for D1 and D2, and he's also credited in this movie and a few other movies as a hockey choreographer. So he's the hockey guy. Well, all I'm saying is – He was the hockey advisor in the he's the hockey guy well all i'm saying is he was the hockey advisor in the the michael keaton classic jack frost he was the hockey technical advisor in airborne remember that no and then he was the skating technical advisor in young blood did you ever watch young blood that's a great hockey movie with Rob Lowe. No, but we just hit the nail on our next Christmas movie. Jack Frost?

Patrick Swayze in Youngblood too, I think he is. Oh, dude, I fucking love the Sways. Red Dawn, dude. Red Dawn. Come on, I fucking love Red Dawn. Patrick Swayze is probably one of my favorite people in the entire world. Or was. R.I.P.

Nobody puts baby in a corner, Brandon. Roadhouse, dude? Did you see the trailer for the new Roadhouse? It actually looks pretty good. I don't know. You know how I feel about all modern things, dude. Well, I understand that. But I feel like you gave the original roadhouse a very

dismissive uh sigh was that no i was giving the remake a very dismissive sigh as i say the original with the fucking sways in his prime brandon don't talk to me about like that that's one of the top five greatest movies ever made roadhousehouse. Yeah, I haven't. It's on the whole watch list for HBO. That and War Games is next on there. And then Point Break. Point Break is also on the watch list. The original Point Break. What's the...

Why am I blanking on it? The number two greatest movie ever. What is he saying? What's the tagline? What does the dude always say are you thinking about vayacondios is that what you're trying to say no i don't know like he always like that's really the only like catchphrase they have no it's you you said it like what it's like hey thunder let's rip or something i don't know you've said it in a previous podcast it

doesn't matter there's a utah give me two that's what it is oh well yeah give me two okay that's um uh what's his name bucey's character that's it is yeah oh my god what the the reals of bc just completely insane he's like hey we just talk about buttered sausages wasn't that wasn't that debunked as like wasn't that debunked as like a fake ai thing i think that's what it was oh was it the buttered sausages oh't that wasn't that debunked as like wasn't that debunked as like a fake ai thing i think that's what it was oh was it the buttered sausages oh man that's still one of my favorite things though i just hilarious but i think about buttered sausages i think that was like an ai it was an ai thing that just like copied his is like copied his voice and face

all right well anyways i did yeah he's so jack white So Jack White, that's how you recognize him. He's the ref in D1 and D2. Now he's Coach Wilson. Yeah, somehow. Ten-time defending. Maybe he's got a twin. That's how I like to think of it. His twin is the ref.

Fine. And that's why he fucking hates the Ducks because he's talking to his twin brother. And his twin brother is like, those fucking son of bitches made my life hell. Out there roping people. that makes sense but this is where the the dean says so today after much debate on both sides we proudly open our doors to a truly great student athletes the gold medal winners and then crash crash oh crash ducks being ducky and they all fall in what i'm telling you really isolated the them by saying that not a lot of good leadership they're they're still isolating them but yeah by continuing to refer to them as the ducks but there's a lot of debate on both sides i'm telling you they just wanted bombay

the kids were like okay we gotta throw them in to get bombay and then bombay being the fucking dick that he is bails well this is this is also a moment in time where we didn't need to say the quiet part out loud what's the point the after much debate just leave that whole part out so like they didn't need to say didn't need to give people how the sausage was made like hey we fought about this for a while because these kids are fucking idiots but good news is we're gonna welcome them with open arms you know tough shit rich kid's dad that owns a yacht fucking cake eater man yeah so they go they come crashing crashing into the stage everybody gets that nice a nice chuckle a nice laugh and then charlie hi we're the ducks nailed it thank you thank you i felt like i nailed that too but then what an entrance

though what an entrance my favorite is we flash we flash to the dean's office and duane says hey he knows wayne newton it's not wayne newton right do you know you know who that is right new king i thought that was hilarious too i laughed for an incredible amount of time when i saw that like boy i i don't think i laughed at that part when i was a kid but as an adult that's that's just that's the reference you should be upset about because a the kids are not going to know who way newton is and they definitely don't know who newt gingrich is well way dude wayne newton was very prevalent in the 90s he was he was look at how featured he was in vegas vacation and that came out in the 2000s like he was like a main component his like chevy chase's wife basically is like one you know piece of clothing away from having an affair with wayne newton are we all well i mean he's an icon he's

a vegas icon but that's that's all like brain listen all i'm saying is that that just happened to just tickle your boy's funny bone just just in a way this morning that you just you couldn't even imagine how how much i like it's like oh boy newt gingrich i wrote that down that that got a legit laugh out of me too that was a good one and then we we we pan over to these fucking ants. And remember those. Yikes. Have you ever gotten ants before? Talk about a little foreshadowing here, Heath.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you ever gotten ants before? Wink, wink. Have I gotten ants? Yeah, like at your house. Like, we got ants one time in our house in First Street. Not like an infestation you know like we had like a couple uh a couple little hills chilling out like in the in the garage or in the driveway but

they never really never really had a had to make their way into the house that i that i'm maybe unless they're really really good at hiding no we we had an infestation because we had a big old house and it was haunted it was one million percent haunted my parents kept telling me i was making it up when i heard they were ghost dance they weren't ghost dance but the people that i heard walking in the attic every night above my room were definitely real like you can't i always like old houses make noises so it's like no they do that sounds like someone's walking up there. They do.

I always, because you always hear about ghosts walking around in attics. How, like, how, were people spending a lot of time walking around their attics back in the day? I'd never walk in my attic. Our attic was enormous. Yeah. Like, dude, you could just, it was like a jungle of stuff up there it was wild because my parents are hoarders you know yeah and it always had dude like i you think there's a

stowaway up there i was i always get paranoid about that dude that just talking about it i can actually smell it like as weird as that sounds like it had the most distinct attic box dust smell. And like, like literally I, I can, I can smell my, the attic on first street, just talking about it because it was, it was something, um, it wasn't as bad as like the basement in the dark before my dad kind of put some carpet and some old couches down there for, for me to quit breaking shit on accident you know this is yeah way too big way too fast and i kept rattling all my mom's china in the hutch when i would fall and stuff and so just you know put a little carpet down put the old brown couches in there sent the kid downstairs to where it was haunted as well anyway okay back to the

fire ants dude wait hold on have you ever gotten bitten by a fire ant i have not all right so fun fact last summer at possum kingdom lake texas Shout out. I'm like a sucker. There was a beautiful Labrador at the neighbors and you can't just not pet a beautiful Labrador at the neighbors. And so as I pet this beautiful dog and we both were like, all right, good pet, buddy. And then we kind of went our separate ways. And I went back to go chit chat with the crows. And I stopped right on the other side of the time that I felt the first sting, and then I looked down, the entire front half of my foot

was completely covered, all my toes to the midpoint of my foot. I was in sandals. We were walking to the boat. That's what you get for wearing fucking sandals. We were walking to the boat, Brandon. It was a boat trip in Possum Kingdom Lake, Texas. Shout out Possum Kingdom, dude. I love that place. I wish we were walking to the boat brandon it was a boat trip in possum kingdom lake texas shout out possum kingdom dude i love that place i wish we were going back this year we're going to going to lake conroe which is fine dude conroe's fine but it'll be fun going

back to houston gonna wear some sparrows like a like a normal fucking yacht boy all all i'm saying brandon as someone who and i was a trooper about it too i never complained and i just went got some benadryl itching cream and dealt dealt with the like the front half of my foot was literally on fire for three straight days it just kind of put it in the like the lake water in the morning when it was freezing was awesome it was so good that's what i'm saying dude i was a trooper let the fish clean it off you know what the most traumatizing part of that uh trip was though at night the dock the fucking spiders dock spiders yeah oh dude and they were huge and they would

come from everywhere it was any any spiders that willingly hang around water, dangerous. Yuck. All right. So anyways, back to the ants. That's my fire ant story, Brandon. I didn't know if you, like, if you've been bitten by fire ants, you relate. Like, it just, it stings and it hurts and the itching. And I had, like, all these massive welts and bites in between all my toes. Like, it was everywhere because they covered

and like once because once the first one bites they swarm the first one bites they swarm they swarm the top of my foot luckily i was able to like push them and stamp them off and everyone was like geez and i was like dude i just got my whole foot was covered in fire ants and then later on like my foot was just like mangled anyway wearing sandals man you wear sandals at the lake brain and don't fucking talk to me like that first of all i'm wearing sandals at the lake that's crazy talk wrap that shit up dude oh my god all right whatever i disagree you're fucking cake eating lake boys too did it come with a yacht heath listen no it came with a tiger wait you know dude we do a little wake surfing i'm i'm not as good as

everyone else but you know well that's because i'm in the crawls are wakeboarder people well we wake i wake surf i can't wakeboard that's yikes that's way harder those are those people always weird me out oh yeah oh you know i i didn't get that i did anybody who's back once like anybody who's super into water sports i question a bit yikes but like so i did give that feedback once i was like you know sometimes after like the second day it would be nice to just you know sit on the on the lake and not now that now that we're here you know it would be great as if we weren't here yeah no no i still want to be there it's just that i just don't want to i just don't want to surf on the third day like the first two days i'm in third

day i just want to drink you know like sometimes you just want to get shit faced on the back of the boat that's how i feel my when i uh it does help with the wake surfing honestly like like the more the more high noons i hit in the morning before the wake surfing it makes the water warmer and it makes me not overthink it because like once you figure out getting up it's just you know now i can just get i didn't do it in like two years and i just popped right up i love i love water i love being in the water by the water i'm not like when i was growing up my family would go camping every summer uh to this i forget what lake it was but they would go to lake and my the like my extended family are big um tubing people oh they would eat like all the tube were

yeah just trying to murder the kids we had like the the big banana boat like the like the LeBron James banana boat but it was one of those things where like the we'd get we'd get there you do like two runs on the tube, and you're like, okay, I'm tubed out. I'm good. I got my tube fixed. Let me just chill. Let me just fucking chill.

Relax. It's all right, though. Throw a line out. Just drink some beers with the boys. We have fun, though. We have fun, though. I really want to get into Lake John Crow playlist. We've talked about this before. I really want to get into fishing. We have fun, though. We have fun, though. You know, we got a good Lake John Crow playlist. You know, it's good.

We've talked about this before. I think I really want to get into fishing. I think I could be a good fishing guy. Yeah. Especially fly fishing. I think I was born to be a fly fisherman. Well, I was just born to be fly. So and on that, let's go back to the water.

Wander out to the mountains. Bring flapjack with me. Have them just fucking mob through the lake or the little stream the movie. Wander out to the mountains, bring Flapjack with me, have him just fucking mob through the lake, dude, or the little stream, dude. He'd scare all the fish away. I'm not going to catch any fish anyway. Oh, okay. All right, so let's get back to these ants. When I say I was born to be a fisherman, I mean I was born to do it

and not be good at it. I'm not actually going to catch fish. You know who could catch a fucking fish, joke all right brandon are we gonna get back to these ants that dude's a water dog dude i don't know if i've ever shown you like videos of when that gets into water he's the happiest thing i've ever seen in my entire life when he gets into water dude he loves it in houston i had a pool and there i would always try to tell people don't throw jenkins in the pool don't go throw jenkins in the pool he'll get real mad like he'll get real mad and um there were two people that did it

and those two people every time they came into the house afterwards jenkins would try to bite him and jenkins is jenkins right like he literally stands on his back legs to trying to make everyone pick him up and um those he remembered like his i think it's a swag i think it was and and every time he came in jenkins would try to bite him fantastic dude jenkins knows dude don't throw him in the water he doesn't like it but he did like to he did like to captain the ship so like if i was on a floaty i would go up to the side of the pool and he would crawl onto my chest and then he would just lay on my chest and captain the ship around the the pool yeah flapjack fucking dude he has a nose for it too like i i take him to um this like open space

trail-ish area where there's like, anytime it rains or there's like snow or whatever, there's like a little like Creek runoff. Right. And it'll, it'll get pretty like deep, but you know, enough for him to go to like, like go like halfway up his legs or whatever.

Yeah. And whenever I take him there, if there's even the slightest little Creek water, a dude will fucking find it and he will jump in it and I like sometimes I have to because if I'm like sometimes I'm not in the mood to like you know wash and clean off a fucking dog after jumping in the

creek sometimes I'm like I like will like physically like fight him and stop him from going to the water like no dude we're fucking we're not doing that I'm leashing you up and we're walking right past the creek you fucking all right so back to the ants in the office where the dean uses the ants as a lecture for the ducks that hey all your willy nilly silliness is out the door we need

worker ants that are going to get the job done there's a real growth the backbone real anti-america but did you give it you know did you like what i russ's come come back though wait does that make you the queen fantastic russ got him nailed him got him but this is where brandon so we get the montage we jump into school and see the first one was no i didn't see what do you mean the first teacher yeah do you remember her dad is not the same teacher from detention it's the principal from their yeah their elementary school friend in d1 when they quacked at the prince oh brandon it's also also i believe if i'm not mistaken i believe that is mcgill first two movies michael ohms r.i.p he passed away not

too long ago um that's his actual mom so i just think i just don't know why you'd bring that up brandon because you know how i'm feeling about all these because if i don't if i don't bring you know people are going to call us fake ducks okay that's that's true that's true because i mean i knew i recognized her from somewhere but i was thinking matilda for some reason but no no that's no dude you're getting the teacher from matilda no, no. I just, I, for some reason thought like, I don't know why my brain went there, but. As I say, the teacher from the teacher from Matilda is legitimately one of the most beautiful human beings I've ever seen in my entire life. No, the trench ball. but she's just like dude could you imagine that being your first day in school and she's just being the absolute fucking worst about quizzes and tests and surprise quizzes whenever i whenever i

feel like it i'd be like dude this lady sucks yeah it was like quizzes on monday wednesday friday tests on tuesday thursday or something like that and then uh yeah then the surprise ones whenever i fucking feel like it yeah geez she was kind of the worst but then we go to your boy the history teacher with the speech of all speeches the speech of a fucking lifetime oh my god he he gets it like i mean history is a giant brandon so his uh uh his name is the actor's name is james craven um yeah and he's in a he's in a bunch of stuff but yeah he gives the monologue of the century if i ever decide to like venture into the acting world uh this is the monologue i'm gonna audition with wow all right i mean that's a good answer didn't that come up at at the kickback a while back where like what monologue you would choose if you were going to

do something what i don't remember was that after i left i don't know no no it was in the house during the during the kickback we talked about the monologue because i mine easy right of the row here oh that was that was that was a side specific conversation you were having with somebody that wasn't like a group thing that was i remember you know but no this this dude's this this model this teacher's monologue is fucking amazing i have the whole thing here for you are you ready he's yeah got the whole thing it's been said that the present is to the past like a dwarf on the shoulders

of a giant if the dwarf holds his seat he can indeed see further than the giant but beware if the dwarf should grow careless and forget his place, history is a giant.

And then he slams the book, and then he looks, is it Charlie in the face? Right? He's talking to Charlie, right? It's either Charlie or Averman. I think it's Charlie. He looks Charlie in the eye, and he goes, get ready to ride yes oh my god the the book slam on the like on the dwarf dude there was a dwarf writing the history book as he's saying this well people would see if if people have any kind of reading comprehension they would understand that from monologue

okay yeah I'm not gonna baby everybody through this monologue you either get it or you don't listen Brandon you better get ready to ride you're either the dwarf or you're the giant okay I'm probably the dwarf even though I'm tall

alright that fucking monologue was so good though dude I'm probably the dwarf, even though I'm tall. All right. That fucking monologue was so good, though, dude. And this is where we kind of get a little... If he holds his seat, he can indeed see further than the giant. I mean, it was fantastic. It was just like... Wait, hold on.

How long do you think he rehearsed that do you think that oh james james craven that was a one that was one shot you don't think he rehearsed it the night before he's like all right what am i gonna do for my lesson plan and i was like oh i'll do the giant speech for these fucking ducks no no no no no i i am so i imagine both james craven as the actor yeah that was one take he did that in one take fucking nailed it and i i imagine if i insert myself into the fictional universe of the mighty ducks that teacher yeah that was completely improvised um on the spot he did not plan that out he was just like i got a fucking sick ass thing i'm gonna pull right now and just gonna make these he's like these these kids these kids are kind of paying attention but i gotta i gotta

fucking grab them you know yeah well regardless that is a wild ride but after that we get luis you know stalking his prey back on her man is is that what you call it he's just walking behind her giving her the eyes and then she she gave him the eyes as she walked by too and then Kurt Chow the the dude from band of brothers what's his name

Cole yeah the character Cole yeah cool I called him bull because that's his name in Band of Brothers. But Cole checks him and the announcer kid. The announcer kid.

A hard check into the boards. That has to hurt. I love how we don't get introduced to the announcer kid beforehand. So when this happens, it just comes off as like a weird fucking thing it's just a just a random kid with the with the comb yeah um is it is she she's one of their boyfriend or one of the one of their girlfriends right is she rick or cole's

girlfriend she's rick's girlfriend is she the girl from varsityity Blues? No. She's not? She looks like it. Are you sure? Mindy? Her name is Melissa Keller. Her first movie. Oh, it is? But no, she's not. It's definitely not Varsity Blues.

She was in an episode of Entourage. Oh, Entourage. She played Top Tall Blonde. All right. episode of entourage oh she played a top tall blonde all right so yeah she was just i'm all right yeah not the person i thought she was who did you think she was in varsity blues the main girl the the blonde one with the green bikini well that's not the main girl well the the main girl the blonde one with the green bikini well that's not the main girl the blonde girl that tries to seduce James Van Der Beek

Paul Walker's girlfriend they're definitely not the same person Allie Larder is the varsity blues girl and then the other girl the other main girl who's um mox is like next door neighbor best friend slash kind of love interest remember that's amy smart she's not a brunette she's blonde as well oh yeah that's oh amy smart yeah it's like you watch him we'll call it like you don't even watch these movies i do i remember amy smart what else

is she in she's in one of the road trip movies right the euro she's in not your trip road trip she was in like everything during the early 2000s but yeah road trip butterfly effect which is oh yeah we might do yeah i can do butterfly effect even though one of my biggest fears is time travel and the better. I really don't watch time travel movies because I just don't care for the butterfly effect. Even like it's such a big trope. Right. And so many DC comics and like, I get it. But at the same time, you know, I just there's so many.

So many mistakes that can be made and so many consequences that can be had and it's just you know fucks with me messing with my head good thing it's not real we don't know what happened in 2020 brandon nothing happened in 2020 someone stepped dude a time traveler messed up the timeline everything just hasn't felt right since then the timeline was messed up way before 2020 when

you want the exact point yeah it's when the Cubs won the World Series that's what fucked it all up that was 2016 wow a month before Trump got elected. That's when it happened. They do. They do always say,

you know, like in, in like the old time travel movies, they're like, Oh, the Cubs won the world series. It's like, wow,

everything must've gotten real fucked up. If that happens. Wow. Brandon, that's a good call. All right. Thanks a lot. I mean,

I can't, I can't really, that's a fairly common thing that people say. I can't take credit for that. All right. Well, you know, I feel really bad for Kenny that they keep stealing his lunch, though. Did you? Yeah.

I was going to say, do you know when my timeline got messed up? When? What's that? The day I was born. Oh, my God. Brandon, you're so dramatic. When like my timeline got messed up What's that? The day I was born Oh my god Brandon You're so dramatic Just the tip of the Goldberg Keith

That was good That might be a t-shirt too That might be your best line ever Honestly Might be the best thing you've ever said They do fucking steal Kenny's lunch A bunch I don't know why we's lunch a bunch yeah he's uh i don't know why we're always i guess because he's the smallest but fucking kenny man i feel bad for

kenny and can you believe homework on the first day and then goldberg yeah if we're not careful we might learn something i thought that was good that was a a good one. And this is where Charlie gets introduced to his lady love interest. Do you know who's this? Who's this girl, Brandon? Is she in things? This is Margo Finley, I believe. Linda's her name, right? Margo.

Yeah. So Linda's the character's name. Linda. Linda. Linda. Linda. Listen. Listen.

Linda. Remember that? Right? Isn't that yeah but she Margot Finley is the actress's name she was not really in things

she stopped acting not too long after this movie she was only in like a handful of stuff yeah you might recognize her from Far From Home The Adventures of Yellow Dog she was in an from far from home the adventures of yellow dog she was in an episode of are you afraid of the dark um oh dude love are you afraid of the dark i started watching that a little bit during halloween last year i thought she was a fantastic

uh actress she killed this yeah she did a great job like being the being the nerd and and telling charlie it's like oh she's not the must be a jock well that's her character well she's not really she's got that she's got the edge to her she's not really a nerd she's like a you know she's misunderstood she's a rebellious nerd yeah she's she's the yeah she's the I don't know what the you know what the she's the Lisa Simpson yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's that's a good comparison I like that yeah thank you yeah because she's trying like she's a real activist she's got the petition she's got the petition going Charlie's like what's the big deal we got the Redskins we got the Blackhawks we We got the Indians.

We got the Braves. Why don't you chill out about the Warriors? Two of the teams he named have changed their name. So the seed doesn't really age well there. They're Chuck. She calls him out that he's a jock, Brandon. All you Warrior jocks, stick together. Well, did you like what Charlie said said i'm the captain of the new jv team already throwing that out there yeah yeah you hear what he said at the end though right

i'm a duck just sowing the seeds of rebellion already you know oh boy charlie's a real disaster during this movie though from an m a perspective this is not how you do things, Heath. I mean, we've got Charlie in the throes of rebellious youth. You know, mom's working long hours. Bombay abandons him for the millionth time. You know, it's just, what do you do? What do you do? You suit up that's what you do suit up and you play some hockey did that well and this is

where after charlie is you know a big baby about being a duck again this is where we get their first trip into the barn brandon i have i have in my notes because coach orion calls it a barn yeah i have in my notes i love what people call hockey arenas barns i love it in the barn what do you think about goldberg oh this place is huge but they even have a snack bar they probably do i bet they do too yeah but you get some Snickers, get some onions. Maybe a Wild Cherry Pepsi. Dude, like, dude. A 90s Wild Cherry Pepsi?

Yes, Brandon. Come on. Let's go. Doesn't get any better than that. The best of the best, dude. Maybe some Gardettos. I don't know. Just feeling crazy. I don't know. Wait, hold on. You know what 90s snack I got? Wait, shit. Now I'm going to look at the 90s snack i got wait shit now i'm gonna blank on the the name oh what are the little like the little things like

you have to give me a little more like they're the little bread like the little breadstick snacks combos i got combos when's the last time you've gotten combos So I'm not a big I'm not a big combos Or like Chex Mix I'm not a big mix guy You're kind of a loser Brandon No offense

And a hater Well established hater Not a hater If anybody's a hater if anybody's a hater now it's you you've been bad mouth on this movie your entire life this movie's fine but combos you can't be talking shit about combos like that it's it's it will not i'm not a big not a big combos guy it's a wonderful snack you know what else i had too it was just i got you know what you know what it doesn't do though taffy oh that was good but you know what combos don't do they're a wonderful snack but they don't smile

back thanks all right so i have a sucker for laffy taffy though i haven't had laffy taffy probably since i was like 15 years old the candy candy store downtown Golden, I got a throwback, like one of the throwback Laffy Taffy bars. We used to get them at Ben Franklin in Wayne, Nebraska. The name of the store, Ben Franklin. Yeah, yeah. So I used to...

Great candy section. They also had hamsters and my sister got her bird from there. There you go. They had parakeets, they had hamsters, guinea pigs, dude. It was the best, dude. I go get some cards.

Like, I literally got a Kobe card from there. Pulled it from the pack, dude. Kobe rookie. Oh. I used to crush Laffy Taffy when I was in, like, middle school. And, like, elementary school. Every time I bring this up i sound like a crazy person because apparently it was a singular thing that nobody else experienced

but when i was growing up in suburban denver um we had a thing on friday nights at the local rec center right they did it at a couple different rec centers it was we called it friday night live kids did yeah it was actually referred to as kids night out on friday at the rec center nice you model to the rec center you pay your five dollar entry fee that it was it was capped age groups i think you had to be like eight to get in and then once you turned 13 you couldn't it was you know too old too old um so is that so you bob up you get there with you with your buddies you pay the five dollar entry fee and then you it's just like you have the run of the rec center right so you had like in like the ballroom like event center area they had had the DJ and the dance floor set up in the gym.

They had, they had an area where you can play basketball and all that, but then they also had half of it split and they had like fucking blow up jumpy castles all over the place or like obstacle courses. And then they also had, they had a couple other weird things going on too, but then they also had a snack bar, which,

you know, your boy would go down there with 20 bucks load up on some fucking laffy taffies nice russian dude yeah that's a good sack it's good i actually got uh kicked out of kids died out when i was 11 or 12 for being the worst uh me my buddy got in a fight uh not with each other my buddy my buddy got into a fight with this kid i came and backed him up and then they were like you guys are done so and i was like you know what this place yeah i do remember i do remember vividly a vivid memory from my childhood was watching the Carmelo Anthony led Syracuse Orange Men or Orange

speaking of name changes, Syracuse Orange watching that NCAA tournament run while at Friday Night Live they had a big giant TV so they played the games. I'll never

forget. I think it was Kansas. The shot he made against Kansas I think, right? I was sitting there Friday Night Live glued to the TV screen. Everybody's in the dance room dancing to Yeah by Usher and I was like, I gotta watch Mellow, bro.

Gotta watch Mellow. I'll never forget that year because this girl won the big school bracket challenge because she picked based on color she's a big orange fan and so she picked the syracuse orangeman to go all the way that year only person classic all right so this is where we get introduced to your order but going based on color what a weird fucking lady that's I'm saying she's fine she's very kind actually she's very nice I don't believe it all right so lady we get Rick to keep believe you sent that to Brianna. That's fucked up. All right. So we get Rick saying,

Dad said this puts the whole school at risk with this embarrassment. It's going to cost the school its reputation. You see all those banners up there, Heath? They got a reputation to uphold. Well, and that's why Cole says, them rejects should have stayed on their own side of the tracks and the big fair point and big scooter is like the those rejects genius and we don't have any tracks cole no trains no tracks do you get it yeah scooters the fuck

scooters are sassy son of a bitch dude yeah well that i love i actually kind of love this he's like well this should just stay out of our school don't get smart with me goalie it's like hey come on scooter you know better than to confuse cole we're on the same team i do love how uh cole throughout the movie refers to him as goalie instead of his song called scooter or whatever oh don't get smart with me goalie oh my god this is if it isn't captain ducky i'd make fun of charlie too if i was on the varsity team being a little baby about being a duck instead of just you know assimilating into the school you're a warrior now buddy assimilator die heath yeah don't don't cut that for tiktok i thought we were we're talking fire ants right yeah assimilator die you either get it that's true if you like charlie you need to be that's well

first of all they should have changed the name To the Fire Ants And I think that the Fort Wayne Fire Ants Would agree with that Or wait, no, they're the Mad Ants Just kidding There is a Fire Ants team though I was trying to remember what the other one was

I think it's a hockey team too I think it's like a You know, like a Minor league southern hockey team Vamp a little bit's like a um you know like a minor minor league southern hockey team so you vamp a little bit i'm gonna look that up yeah well i'll give the next couple parts because he says if it isn't captain ducky and kind of gives him a little push now i keep your hands off of him says fulton and this is where cole's like oh brother i'm so scared the fayetteville fire ants arkansas well that's that's that's the question which fayetteville are we talking about here

oh let's go to the tape here pull it up pull it up i knew it i knew it i've been burned too many times with this it's fayetteville north carolina ah should have known should have known but they are they are no longer the fire ants they are the marksmen well i hate that switch yeah that was dumb it's really fucking stupid well after this quick gentle kerfuffle the varsity coach shoes the varsity out of the barn. Coach Wilson. Coach Wilson. And this is where Charlie says, how about it, Cowboy Roundup?

And Connie... Wrangle us up some ducks. Well, Connie, endlessly full of sage wisdom, as we know from the previous two movies, she says, hey, shouldn't we wait for the new coach before we mess around? And Charlie, being the worst, says, this is how we practice. Duck hockey, Connie. He's going to have to get used to it sooner or later.

Come on, cowboy. He's thinking they need to do a simulator dive. We got our wires crossed. That's what happens in the M&A world when you keep calling people by the different names. Yeehaw, doggies.

Round them up. Before we get to the end of the roundup i feel like this is a uh perfect did you wait in the roundup did you see averman hiding in the goal yeah that's good but uh before we we get to the roundup and the fallout from it i think this is a perfect this is perfect uh segue to jersey time practice jerseys brandon i actually wrote in my my notes here as i was watching the movie i was like oh can't wait for brandon to take notes on these practice jerseys and so this i've got every single one of them all right let's go so sound off they're all they're all wearing uh they're all wearing different jerseys um the varsity all had uh they were wearing um eden hall specific practice jerseys jerseys like

like normal teams right yeah yeah yeah not yeah not not poor poor folks um but so so to go through the list here we got charlie who's rocking his OG Ducks jersey with the Captain C, number 96. You got Connie, who's rocking a Minnesota Moose jersey. Love that one. That logo, because now they're the Manitoba Moose, and they have a fancy new age, real mean-looking Moose logo. That logo that's on her jersey where it's just the the cartoony one the goofy one with the helmet and the holding the hockey stick i love

that logo so much i need to get merch with that on it yeah um it's just it's so expensive because they don't make it anymore it's so old it's so expensive so cool though love that fucking jersey yep then we have boring people we got kenny russ and banks both wearing the new ducks the the d2 ducks one the one the one from the end of the d2 movie yes yeah so those guys are all rocking the new ducks uh it makes sense for for i guess kenny and russ but banks come on you know banks is just wearing his own ducks. Your family's loaded, bro. Let's go crazy with the jerseys. I disagree.

You're going to be a cake eater. At least spend your money correctly. So what jersey would you have him put on? Because all the rest of them, they had their jerseys from their home states, more or less, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Fulton had one from a hockey supply company. Yeah, Fulton's wearing it. Sorry, sorry.

You can keep going. I would throw Banks in. Because it can't be a North. Did you throw back North Stars jersey? Throwback North Stars wouldn't be terrible. I'm trying to think what a good like what's uh oh you know what i'd have him in is uh saint cloud state which is oh the college in minnesota yeah yeah okay that's what that's what i'd throw banks good hockey school yeah the huskies all right but

um so then we have uh julie julie's rocking in the university of maine go black bears yeah then we have Julie. Julie's rocking in the University of Maine. Go Black Bears. Yeah. And we got Averman, who's rocking the University of Minnesota. Golden Gophers. Yeah. We have Dwayne with the Dallas Stars jersey. Luis with the Florida Panthers. Love that.

Goldberg's rocking a flyer, like a flyers practice jersey. Yeah. And then, yeah, Fulton has Heaton Brand and brand hockey which is the they like i don't know if they're still around but they uh manufactured goalie pads just like a hockey just a weird little hockey jersey he had and then gee my boy is rocking the 1996 atlanta olympic logo that's on a hockey jersey which is weird because those were the summer olympics they weren't really playing hockey there but they probably made them into hockey jerseys i'm sure they did yeah everything that's true back yeah the 96 that was the prime for like fashion

jerseys yeah and so they yeah they were throwing everything on they'd throw anything on a hockey jersey and sell it to you yeah but i was trying to look it up to see uh i had an espn football jersey there you go it's not a booyah on the back but i had a hard time he was the the one i had a hard time figuring out what the it was on because i saw like it had the olympic torch you could see but then i couldn't really make out the writing i had to like pause it and like you know write in the screen and do all that kind of stuff to figure out that it said atlanta 96. but so i was like online looking that's good jerseys though all the way around those are good jerseys you can get the olympic atlanta hockey jersey i found one on ebay 200 bucks heath yes that's a little or a hockey jersey That's about how much. I mean, I guess that's how much a new McKinnon one would cost, huh?

Yeah. Or a car. I'm more of a Rantanen guy myself. You know that. I have a Rantanen jersey. Otherwise known as Rantanen. But it's neither here nor there. But that's everybody's jerseys.

Oh, and then I also do want to point out Coach O'Ryan shows up here in a second. Coach O'Ryan is rocking a fucking mint NHL Players Association quarter zip sweater. I need that fucking sweater, dude.

That was nice. And then he had the Adidas turtleneck underneath uh looked like a real coach from the 90s and i need that fucking sweater and and how embarrassing for charlie to get roped and be you know at the like what a power move by coach orion that like that stop is right in front of charlie oh boy and this is and then he comes in he comes in fucking firing my name is coach orion you can call me coach or coach orion you can call me charlie so good so good that must be what that c on your chest stands for because it sure doesn't stand for captain i love that's i love how it just comes in firing and all similars right

away right away no time to waste no time to waste he's like hey take that c off you sort of you fucking asshole oh dude what up give your gives your give your balls a tug well shorezy yeah it's fucking embarrassing i started re-watching uh letter kenny just like while i'm cooking and stuff for some background i need to uh really good stuff really good chirps from the boys did you watch season two of shorezy no no i i i haven't either i need to it came out i came out a little while ago i need to watch season two season one is so good though it's so good with the with the gyms dude the gyms are the best uh all right so yeah y'all all three are jim okay just go by nicknames or anything nope just just jim okay uh what do you think about russ sticking up for charlie though like oh hey coach sorry we're just messing with you

and but then goldberg hey bombay gave him that c and this is where your your boy coach orion does he does best and i respect that but that's the past this is my team now and i'll be selecting the captain i'm captain now uh but this is i love coach orion dude but like like he comes in way too hot and then charlie this is way too hot this is what you got to do with a brick like charlie you got to come in you know you got you got to assert you know alpha male you got to assert your dominance here yeah you got to pee on him yeah you can't let the inmates run the asylum here you got to charlie's one of those fucking assholes

where you give him an inch and he's gonna take a mile. You know, because he tries. His response? His response is bold as brass. I would have... You know, he deserved those laps. You've gotta be kidding me, right? I mean, you're the rookie here.

We've been together for four years. Why do they make him like this i feel like he's always been like this yeah this is like after d2 too right when yeah the whole pride that's what they played for pride yeah he got real butthurt about them being team usa instead of the ducks coach bombay if you didn't as usa all over it he got he got you're representing usa and the goddamn fucking junior olympics you moron he got uh charlie upset about being team america you don't think he's gonna throw a fucking nuclear fit about being the warriors yeah like bombay do better like getting him ready for this like hey charlie you can't be a little bitch at eaton hall well you can't keep you can't keep calling say you keep calling them the ducks at every fucking opportunity and not have, you know, not expect a certain sense of entitlement or some tribalism going on.

Yeah, that's true. Some tribalism. Oh, my God. But I do. I love it. And OK, Charlie, laps. Now, how many coach Orion? I don't recall saying I love that line i don't

recall saying oh fantastic orion's the best dude i forgot how much i loved him and are you ready for this too this is my this is his his speeches are gold so good dude you you know what though like as i was watching this it's just like god i am averman like i i think we've we've 100 we've talked about this before yeah you give us some some strong averman vibes oh my god just the more we watch these movies and break them down like i'm pretty sure i had something similar to this happen to me with the hard ass coach right accident like like i don't always mean to be a smart ass but sometimes it's the first thing that comes to my head when you're putting a lot of pressure on me like that especially as a kid yikes dude i just folded under you just had to ask me twice and i would

fold under your peer pressure do you want to do this no thank you that's a bad idea you sure fine fine I'll do it just once it's like uh it's like uh remember the Titans with uh Denzel and he's he's he goes up to the turkey he's like what are you smiling for you having fun it's football fun he's like yeah yeah yeah are, what are you smiling for? Are you having fun? Is football fun? He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you sure? Are you having fun right now? Yes? No.

No fun, sir. I had to preface this because I really relate to Averman. That just sparked a great idea. We need to get... I don't know how we do this but we need to get like a round table with me you coach orion and then um coach coach boone right from remember the titans we need we need coach orion and coach boone in a round table with us

as one of the episodes of the podcast like do like ai generated characters for for them like i would prefer the real life thing and i'm i'm certain denzel would have no problem hopping into character for us easy you know yeah we're very important people and he's a pro you know yeah it's all right so all right so here we get imagine imagine the the you know the philosophical features of those two you know conversations the the poetic uh the you know it would just it would be amazing to listen to them trade uh poetic musings about sports back and home. It would be fantastic. But right now, Brandon, I need you to listen up and listen up good. We're here for one reason and one reason only.

You know what that is? To win Coach Orion, sir. No. To work. High school hockey is very hard work work and it all begins with defense i've seen the tapes i know you can score goals i just don't know if you can stop them shot shot across the bow he's he's not wrong no we saw the iceland tapes too my friend we saw the even italy team italy got a few on them reiterating everything that we've been saying since the gig yeah i mean

he's not wrong we have a couple backers here because then we get goldberg he's like hey and then he shoots him a look that's that's my favorite sorry sir you're not kids or little ducks anymore so i'm not gonna treat you that way you're gonna learn to play two-way hockey offense and defense it's gonna take one thing and it starts with the w to work coach orion sir he tried he tried you know god you gotta give abraman credit he tried that's it that's insane like because that's what i would have thought like i thought okay he wants he's doing the military shtick right let's go and then duane hits him it's like wrong will it takes real will if you want to play in my barn. Kills.

Kills. All right, count off. Let's climb the ladder. And then they count to threes. Did you know that's what counting to three meant? Climb the ladder when they count off? How did they know to count to three? Because wouldn't you think

that it would be like one, two? Are they scrimmaging? I would assume one, two, yeah. I'm just saying. I was just curious why they counted off for three. Is it like a drill? Maybe it's a drill. I've heard maybe. I've heard climb the ladder. It might be a drill

I might say there's going to be hockey people That are going to listen and say Oh these stupid bastards I don't think climb the ladder Is a Hockey drill I've heard Climb the ladder referred to

When like numbering off Like when they want you to number off And climb the ladder I don't know why they did threes nope that's not yeah i don't know all right so well that's just a this is a weird thing i kind of got stuck on that we'll just move we'll just slide right on past um because maybe maybe it's a it's a thing where you're doing the drill and you do one twos and threes okay dude oh my god hold the phone brandon this is oh geez this is embarrassing because they're doing the three lines like they're counting off into three lines to do the drills right that's not it nope nope because they

don't have i'm gonna cut you off there because we don't have enough people for three fucking lines. Okay. Sorry, Brayden. I have it in my notes later because Russ, when he goes and looks at the lineup cards, he goes, I'm on the third line. No, you're not. You're not on the third line.

You don't have enough people for three lines. It's true. They don't have enough people for three lines. It's true. They don't have a full roster. It's very confusing. They have exactly 12 people, two of which are goalies. Oh, my God. That's really. That's two lines.

You got two lines, and that's it. That's really good stuff. So I'm assuming they count one two three i'm assuming one group is is resting while the other two are going yeah sure but that's that's what my option would be so the my favorite is goldberg just getting worked banks oh classic cowboy classic goldberg except for kenny kenny's the only one um that tries to do the spinner rooney and coach orion's like cut it out how in the world like what like what thought process did kenny have like thinking that coach orion would want to see the spin, the spin cycle. Come on. Yeah.

After, after what we've already seen, come on, Kenny, come on. Yeah. Kenny should be smarter than that, but maybe he's still shook from the bullying and you know,

he's probably a blood sugar. He hasn't eaten. He hasn't eaten in like three days. He hasn't eaten at all. Oh, it's really sad. But, uh,

but then. Goldberg. Gets. Yeah. all oh it's really sad but uh but then goldberg gets yeah called over by coach o'ryan when's the last time you practice we don't really practice per se we either play or play around you know have fun the thing that makes you smile and laugh okay i'll shut up fucking goldberg and then we switch over to the cat and she is just a brick waterfall goldberg thinks he got it all and i do and boom with that attitude no reese's pieces seven up you mess with me i mess you up bang bang choo-choo train come on brandon do your thing have you ever heard that yeah sorry it just kind of like doesn't that sometimes make you like does weird stuff like that ever just pop in your head not like that no not like that but yeah so julie julie's crushing it lights out so yeah it's and and so we get after practice in goldberg you know somebody get a shovel and

bury me right here dead done haven't practiced all year after the last game you know um and then we get charlie kind of being a smart ass and this is where i actually relate to charlie because you can't give a big dumb speech like that and not expect me to make fun of you behind your back let's just sorry this is gonna happen um it's like i'll teach you to play like what starts with a with a W. And Averman, wussies. Averman hits him with the wussies. That's right. Wussies on offense and defense, defense, defense. Ah, Russ yelling.

Yeah, I mean, it doesn't really make any sense because he's trying to teach them how to play not like wussies. They are currently wussies Bringin, you know what they are in fun of you know what the dogs are what what the ducks are Heath or a finesse bitch team Yeah, like the Dolphins. Yeah. Yeah, there's a dolphins of the the school here I'll sizzle no steak Bitch man. Well. I'll fall apart in the playoffs. And especially with no Portman, finesse bitch team all the way, dude.

That's true. They lost all their muscle. They're toast. Well, this is where Coach Orion, boy, he just keeps the gift that keeps on giving if you're talking about being kind of a dick, he comes charging in and he says, oh, I got it right in my notes. Eden Hall. There you go. First time.

This took almost two episodes. Finally hit the Eden Hall in the notes. God, what a journey I've been on i'm getting good anyways eden he says eden hall academy requires you to maintain a c average to compete i believe that's a bad rule oh pretty cool coach doesn't give a shit about c he's very cool but then we get i don't want any c players on my team i want bees are better and then the way he hammers the tack on that board that's just he just really does a good you know exclamation point on that tack and that board brandon did you notice that yeah he's business my god i'm i listen i knew he meant business from the beginning

but I didn't feel it until that boom that little pop on the board with the bottom of his his palm oh my god dude Coach O'Ryan's not fucking around today you're hitting something I can hear him banging

I'm getting excited I'm gonna have to cut that all out because it's all banking oh well i think it was my cord yeah he means business he puts attack in there and then he's so that attack he's walking out of the locker room right and he turns as he's at the door and he goes oh by the way stay away from the varsity until we play them in the annual JV varsity showdown. I have in my notes

is that a normal thing? JV varsity showdown? Yeah, like a scrimmage. Like a scrimmage. That happens. Like we did in basketball. JV scrimmages varsity a like a like a scrimmage that happens like we did in basketball jv scrimmages of varsity in practice yeah no like well like they do it's like an exhibition the jv scrimmages of varsity and gets their asses kicked in front of people people come watch small town stuff

wait hold on that was that was never a thing at thing at any of the sports I did you missed another fantastic Coach Orion line Brandon when he goes if you don't keep a C or a B or better you're going to be riding the pine pony and then he gives them 15 minutes to

clear the locker room after every practice because they got fucking studying to do yeah yikes the pine to ryan dude and then they they reference that afterwards one more thing state clear the varsity i just yeah the g well and then to skip ahead a little bit here the gb varsity showdown at eden hall is like it's a fucking production yeah it's like a which i had just always that was the one thing about this movie where i was like i don't think people do this you know i think we do this in a practice yeah but like to make it like a whole

big thing and isn't it in the middle of the fucking season too what is that that's definitely not a thing yeah the whole jv that's what i i think that's that's it you're here about you're you're getting to a point that i'm middle of the season is where i think is my biggest complaint well you're getting to a point that i was going to make later in one of the later episodes of another reason why I'm not a big fan is the fact that it, it's not the Hawks that the ducks are facing. It's not team Iceland that the ducks are facing. They play a season and they're not like, fuck, like who are they playing? And then they'd like their big game is with the varsity team on their own

team. That's the dumbest shit I've ever seen in my life. Like why you have to find a different life like you have to find a different like you have to do it different somehow like it didn't make sense to have the big game be a scrimmage in the middle of the season it's perfect sense you know because they're playing for pride oh my god brandon stop it stop it no i'm i'm i'm with you the the having it having the the varsity team be the i mean yeah having the varsity team be the bad guys isn't a terrible idea but the way they executed is off with the showdown in the middle of the season if it was like a pre like if it was preseason and it was the lead up to and like it was for like i don't know man i just yeah it's it's it's not perfect okay i'm with you it's not perfect all right

that's okay thank you thank you for for letting me get that out but russ russ is as i would be appalled 15 minutes to like get your gear off like fuck off dude like give us an hour like don't talk to us like that you need an hour well you just get your chit chat you gotta unwind you gotta crack wise and then you meander out i am a dilly dallyer brandon kelly gets mad all the time absolutely a dilly dabbler oh it's the worst it's like like hey like the the worst is since like hey we're gonna go to bed and and then i start to have you ever like lotty dotty with snoop because i then part of it he's like i dilly i dally i run through and so kelly will literally like scream at me she's like hey i'm like sorry i'm just doing that dilly dally run through the alley ran up on this bitch named sally from the valley

but i dilly dally so bad and like she'll be like keith what are you doing and i'm like i actually don't know i i i like sometimes i'm just like pacing the house randomly or I'll just like start looking at something like just like start going through random stuff on my desk and just be like, Heath, what are you doing? Just just decided to go through the mail on my desk that's been sitting here for a few months. So it's just just how it goes sometimes, you know. But anyway, so Connie calls out posted the positions. Brandon. Yep. First practice already knows the fucking starting lineup.

Easy. Yeah. I mean, what do you know you know? Well, and how do you feel about, like, why do you think Fulton was so fussy about he's saying he plays the left side not the right is just just that's how he likes to wind up his shot yeah because like he likes he's left handed isn't he oh i don't know right he's he's probably taking a shot with the way they like um switch out stunt skaters and all that he's probably taking a shot with both his left and

the best with that kind of continuity. That does matter in hockey. The sides matter because you tailor it to what hand you're going with. If you're on the wrong side,

it limits the angles that you can shoot from. Sides are important in hockey. All right. Well, Fulton's not super happy. Russ, third line, majordice. And we talked about this. There's no way he's on the third line.

They only have 12 people. Two of them are goalies. That only gives you 10 people. Two of them are goalies, so that gives you 10 people. Five. Unless we're going with only one pair of defensemen the entire game, there's no way they have three lines. Thanks. I don't know what to tell you, Brandon.

Who's the other defenseman, by the way? Russ. He says he's on the third line. Oh, that's right. Fulton? Maybe. Fulton. Fulton and.

Is it Averman? No. No, it is. It is Averman. You're right. Averman plays D. You're right. Okay.

Now that I. Now you mentioned Averman averman plays d that you're right okay now that i uh now you mentioned averman once again that's that's why i relate to averman you know i was it's like a bull in a china shop there in uh middle school basketball and they just put me out there to kind of go cause a ruckus um all right so but i have the i i i froze the lineup and i have oh you do okay what little they showed me okay let's go through and then i'll finish what everyone's saying here it's it's only like uh it's not even a full grasp at like the starting lineup um because i was missing the defenseman um okay that's why aberman makes sense but uh he wrote it the way it was laid out was super weird because it starts with

Charlie Conway center and then it goes the second line is Julie Gaffney goalie like why center to goal usually you put the goalie at the end you don't know shit about lineups but so then

so Julie Gaffney goalie. Then we got Guy, right wing. Okay. Luis, starting left wing. And then Fulton, right defenseman. And then that's where it cuts off. I didn't have a second defenseman. But I'm going to assume, and I'm going to put in my notes,

that it's Averman. Better not be wrong. Well, whatever. I'll put in my notes. And it's even better. And I'll be wrong. There's your, there's your starting JV lineup. It's a solid lineup. Yeah, it's good.

I don't hate it. I don't hate it. I would. But what do you think about banks? He's like, I'm not even posted. And then Connie, yeah, you are. Third line center.

Varsity? Oh. I made Varsity. Bum, bum, bum. Banks on Varsity. That happens, you know? That happens. banks on varsity that happens you know that happens sometimes you said that's so weird why it does you know sometimes you're you're there with your freshman team and then the best player gets pulled up to varsity and you said that you kind of lose your juju a little bit

you said that as if like i had just like lost a pet and you were trying to console me so that happens man it happens trying to console the ducks dude they lost banks could you imagine he is the heart and soul of the team and they lose him he's not the heart and soul it's not don't even sit there and say it's charlie it's not charlie it's fault fulton is the heart and soul it's not don't even sit there and say it's not charlie it's not charlie it's fault fulton is the heart and soul of the ducks it's full okay it's not banks though banks the first half of the movie he spent the first half of the first movie on the hawks if it wasn't for banks they're not winning they're not winning shit. They're not fucking winning a single game without Banks. They won the championship without Banks. They won with him.

He gets injured in the first fucking play. It's not the first play. He scores. Scored one goal. They had like six. I'm just saying. They're not winning without Banks. Not in D2.

They're not winning D2. D2, he misses half the games. It's true. I'm just saying. They're not winning without banks not in d2 they're not winning d2 d2 he's he misses half the games i'm just saying they're not winning without banks that they might not win at all they might not win without banks he's not the heart and soul of the team though he's a cake eater and that is the heart and soul of the team i would i would argue fulton is the heart and soul of the team all right that's fine brandon i agree with you but it is sad that banks mr bass dude the bash man mr bash the bash man i bet that it would be kind of like you know as banks like you're excited to be on varsity but

at the same time you're gonna feel a little ostracized he didn't take it well no he didn't do well his he struggled and like that's what happens if you move you know that's why i said it like a funeral you know move those kids up too soon brandon i don't think it was too soon uh but he i i he takes it personally, emotionally. He does not take it well. Yeah, well, we get your boy Goldberg. This is good. That's the great thing about being goalie, you know? I just mind my business and take my place between the pipes. Well, this is good from Averman.

Sorry, Goldberg. You're riding the pine pony, pal. Finally. Delightful alliteration and you know it's a Julie's number one you're number two and that is well deserved a well deserved benching yeah it's I am I was

I was initially like I was reflecting on this this morning after I rewatched that like when I watched as a kid I was like on this this morning after I rewatched that, like when I watched as a kid, I was like, coach O'Ryan, you dumb ass. Do you not understand that these are the mighty ducks? Yeah. Girls can't play hockey coach O'Ryan.

You know, I didn't say that. I was more so like, number one, Charlie's got a point. Quit being a dick. You know, number two one, Charlie's got a point. Quit being a dick. You know, number two, Goldberg's got a point. He's Goldberg. He's going to munch all those pucks on up. And then I was like, you know what? Looking back as an adult, I'm more team coach Orion.

But in my youth, I could have sworn thatlie had some valid points here but um you know looking back i was an idiot i mean he has some valid points does not communicate them in an effective way um well like you know it just feels like chopped liver brandon chopped liver the thing with um with coach o'reon and char we've got to find the middle ground. We've got a classic M&A strategy. We've got to meet in the middle. Yeah, Goldberg A deserves to be benched. He's a goddamn liability, and it's about it's about time you know and uh just to um uh go back to my earlier point

uh fulton confirmation fulton is left-handed okay well that's fine but do what do you think about the captain i i mean i i like i respect the move to name your own captain. Captain Tibida? Dwayne? Who's Tibida? That's TBD. Oh, I see. No, I don't.

That's your job, Charlie. I have no problem with him Taking it off of Charlie To start You gotta earn it Exactly and he would have earned it Because in this group Obviously they're gonna pick fucking Charlie To be the captain

Nobody else is gonna step up If you come in and buy in And just like alright guys We'll figure this out We'll get all the W's And we'll get the let's just we'll figure this out we'll get all the w's and we'll get the b's and we'll figure this shit out and then eventually bombay will come back like he always does it doesn't no but that's what you say to just kind of help the team get through it brandon that's not what i you know no no you can't sit there and lie to them and tell them Bombay's going to come back. False hope

is better than no hope at all. Clearly, you have zero experience with M&A here, Heath, okay? Can't tell them Bombay's coming back. So, to answer your original question, I'm 100% okay with him taking the sea away. And then being like, we're going to

let this play out and you guys pick a captain or we'll all pick a captain or whatever. But he came in way too hot with that better not stand for captain, you fucking dick. Yeah, you little bitch. That C

should be a B for little bitch. That's what you are, Charlie. Could you imagine if he would have said that instead that's it that's it's basically what he said i basically summarized his entire speech right there uh but yeah so i'm i'm good with i'm good with with stripping the captaincy and then letting it come about organically. Let that shit marinate. I can't remember who gets picked or how it

unfolds, so don't tell me. I don't want to spoil it. I won't. It's been a journey already. These first two episodes, Brandon, this has been wild. I feel like I'm watching it for the first time all over again. I'm a changed man.

I haven't watched it in a long time. It's been like 20 years since I've watched this movie. It hasn't been that long for me. It's definitely been a while. I forgot how much I fucking love Roger Ryan. We'll see you next time. Bye.