The Cake Eaters - 86. D3: The Mighty Ducks - Part 6

Episode Date: June 18, 2024

Heath & Brandon continue talking D3: The Mighty Ducks! Today’s episode goes over minutes 49-60. The boys discuss Mission Impossible, their undying love for Denzel Washington, Banks and Conway's trash-talking, Brandon's Goldberg hate resurfaces, more Fire Ant talk, and the boys each share a fun athlete meeting story. Follow us on Instagram @thecakeeaterspod Email us at [e-mail]

It's not worth winning if you can't win! We still miss it like We should do Mission Mike. Spy movie music, Brandon. Or like, do you remember Emperor's New Groove with Kronk when he's like going, he's got the emperor in his satchel and he's like trying to like get rid of him and he's like He's like, oh my god, he's doing his own theme music.

Yeah. I appreciated the spy music on the top there from you. Yeah. I'm not 100% sure that people are going to get that it's Mission Impossible spy music until you shouted that it was spy music. Oh. What did it sound like? Me just doing insane hums? Okay, that one was better.

That one you could tell was Mission Impossible. That was a good one. And then when you do the little... Nailed it. Those movies are highly underrated I fucking love Mission Impossible Yeah, just Tom Cruise Is just so weird It's hard for me to enjoy anything he does

He just got too weird You know when he lost me Was when he jumped on the couch With Oprah That was when he lost me I couch with Oprah. Oh, that's when he lost me. I was just like, you know, you just got to not pay attention to anything he does that's not in a movie.

He's still a great actor. I respect his game. Those last couple Mission Impossibles, especially the one with Henry Cavill, is top notch. Oh, really? I I mean I haven't watched any of them but I do respect the fact

that he does like all of his own stunts that's pretty cool you should definitely watch the newer Mission Impossible they're fantastic especially the one with Henry Cavill that one's great there's a helicopter fight scene he does between Tom Cruise and

spoiler Henry Cavill. That's fantastic. It's amazing. I was like, that's what this, that's what this, that's what D3 is missing. There's a fucking helicopter fight scene,

dude. My favorite Tom Cruise movie will forever and always be Jerry Maguire. That's a good one. I love, I mean, it's weird that I love that movie as a kid what about days of thunder oh i haven't watched that in forever but um big michael is that's a good um you know that's that's one that's always on tnt right so i feel like big mike always had that one on if it

you know why it's always on tnt because they know. Is that still their tagline? I don't know. Probably. I mean, listen. I will say this about TNT. If you have cable and you are about to

do a deep clean and you're not really into any of the music you're into and so you just want to throw some television on that you can't pay attention to you can throw on tnt about 85 percent of the time they have a movie that if you don't like it you at least can tolerate it enough to have it on in the background like so like shout out tnt for always having like you know what i mean it's like all the background like action movies that you can do sometimes they'll do lord of the rings trilogies like they'll do car and air they'll do fast and the furious you'll get some denzel in there like it's it's and you get some deep cut denzel in there too right like john q remember that one oh yeah it pulls at the heartstrings

there you know just trying to save his son ain't got shit on me remember that one yeah ever heard of it they did him dirty in that one he did a fantastic job in that movie though he's so good i remember watching that when it first came out and just being like oh my god denzel's so fucking cool i say i i feel like we've we've talked about how cool denzel is multiple times we have we have but he's so there's there's always room for more he's the fucking best yeah i just everything i love all these movies but man on fire too i know we've talked about it i got into the man on Fire is just next level. It's amazing. That car scene, well, not the car scene, but the scene where he's interrogating the dude in the car,

and then, yeah. He has him taped up, and he's on the hood of the car, and he's like, yeah, that's a crazy scene. But I recently got into, re-got into The Equalizers. Those are underrated movies too. I need to get back into those. Especially the third one. The third one's great. He's in Italy.

He's like, oh, I'm just here to make pasta and then shit goes down, dude. Yeah. Do you remember the movie called I think it's called Spy Movie and it has What's-Her-F face from Bridesmaids? I keep wanting to say Jenny McCarthy, but that's not who it is.

Melissa McCarthy? Yeah. Is that the one with Jason Statham? Yeah. Yeah. It's like a comedy where she's like an analyst, and then she becomes a spy. It's really dumb, but I really like dumb movies like that. It's another one that would be on TNT.

You'd be like, oh, this is a dumb movie. Let me just put this on. I haven't seen it. I've heard good things about it, though. And I'm a sucker for Jason Statham. It's on HBO. Is it? Okay. I gotta see Beekeeper. I haven't seen that yet.

The new Jason Statham movie? No. He's a Beekeeper. I haven't seen that yet. The new Jason Statham movie. He's a beekeeper. I haven't been back to white America, but once we go back there, any and all Jason Statham movies on streaming will be watched because Big Mike likes to... He keeps a list so that when I come back, he's ready to roll.

I bet you Big Mike has already seen Beekeeper. Yeah, for sure. And he likes the Voice activated Alexa ones because he can Just be like you know Jason Statham Action movie and it'll just pop

Them up and what's available on Whichever streaming services and then he's just He's in Easy peasy Yeah my guy gets it My guy is the reason why i still have all my streaming services we should probably talk about the mighty ducks here though yes let's get into this you know because we are in full spy mode and this is one of my favorite favorite scenes of yes it's everything about this is good this is the cakeDist podcast for everybody listening mine is Brandon that's Heath as Heath mentioned

and saying we're in full spy mode we are full revenge mode yeah everybody's everybody's got the glasses on we're in all black yeah we're wandering through the dorm rooms and we've got evil intentions in our heart, Heath.

Yeah, yeah. Well, honestly, like, have you ever been bitten by fire ants? Because. We've talked about this before as well, Heath. You, in the first, I believe it was part one, you spent a good 30 minutes talking about Brazilian ants. Brazilian fire ants. Talking about Brazilian ants. But getting bit by fire ants is no joke and if you've been bitten by a fire ant you wouldn't just dump them in someone's bed all willy-nilly because that's

that's some really fucked up shit yeah we you know they don't call them brazilian fire ants for nothing that's okay russ russ russ had the fucking dumbest fucking lines there is that one and then uh what did he say oh charlie's like do you think they'll know if they're missing and russ goes i don't think he keeps a head count charlie yeah that's that was damn it let's see dude that's you know i was like fuck you russ fuck you fucking ass it's an insane scene but we kick it off with a fantastic opener because we get honestly julie the cat and averman peeking around the corner in full spy gear uh honestly though i would not be surprised if the dean was keeping a head count yeah he seems like that kind of guy like he's he's got a name a name for everybody yeah well and like Charlie, you're really risking, like, what if you accidentally get the queen?

Then you're in really big trouble because then the hive is going to spread. You know, like if that queen gets out, sets up a nest in the dorm, Brazilian fire ant nest. Oh, yeah. You know, I didn't even think of that. Yeah. That's how you get ants. That's. Dude, that is one of my favorite wrinkles of archer ever like that is for all the archer fans out there like it it's literally is my favorite

like ongoing jokes like what is this is how you get ants like anything spilled yeah this this is i just i i couldn't stop thinking especially the the like close-up scene they do of like inside the tube yeah i was just i was like this is my this is my worst nightmare it made me think of honey i shrunk the kids the first one when they make friends with auntie and then that kid gets all butthurt when auntie gets murdered sacrifices himself for the bee dude but i don't i do not care for bugs yeah yeah i mean now just imagine i'm crawling all over me he's dude this is like this is this is my nightmare i had my whole top of my foot covered in fire ants and it hurt like a bitch. Yeah, that was just karma. For petting a dog? No, for something

for some evil thing you did prior to your life. Do you not know how karma works? For all the misdeeds? I haven't done anything that bad. You're partnered up with Kelly and you don't know how karma works. You just ignore everything she says? Yeah.

Actually, I think said that last night but i wasn't feeling well so i was ignoring everything that was no that's full karma i have a joke uh with my sister that i do where um whenever something uh whenever something bad happens to her i just yeah i say it's karma and then um my go-to line is um if it happened to you you deserved it wow it's very it's very empathetic of you brandon we lead with empathy all right but we get we are cat lady says the coast is clear and then we get averman louise there's no way there's there's no way they're seeing anything with those sunglasses on right no no absolutely not but like i do love that those evil geniuses thought of bringing the rope and tying all the doors together so that like not only did they release the brazilian fire ants but they also lock them in there with those savages because once

once those fire ants start biting they swarm yeah like they swarm to the bite so like you are getting swarmed and attacked and that stuff hurts and itches so incredibly bad it's just i mean this is really psychotic stuff yeah it's very well thought out and we have duane on the crew of course of course rope is going to be involved there's no way rope's not involved if we got duane hey you know what to say he always stays strapped he's always oh my god he never has to get ready he always stays ready he's got that he's got that rope just attached to his hip, dude. I guarantee you he wears that in class. Just like right on his hip.

Just ready. Ready. Dude, it's skipping ahead a little bit, but hands down, forever and always, my favorite line of this movie is going to be, Guys, they have horses! That's such a great one the my favorite line is when i laughed so hard when he yelled that i was like oh my god that's so good it's so good like they have horses well that goes where did that horse come from we talked about this in one of the previous episodes. They show so many horses on campus. And I guarantee you the reason they did that was just to set that up, just to be like, hey, guys, they have horses.

So it's not crazy that he found a horse. Speaking of equestrian, have you ever watched the Snoop Dogg, Colin, the Olympic equestrian staff oh my gosh it's so good that's that that's it that's that's a youtube video worth taking like just a couple minutes out of your way but by the the line guys they have horses is fantastic and then the when uh he when the when cole wanders up to to duane on the horse, Dwayne has the best lines, too. And he's like, oh, we got a stray calf here, do we? Oh, we'll get to it.

We'll get to it. The best line is when he goes, it'd be a lot more fun for me if he ran. Yes. That was real psychotic, too. I mean, to be fair, it's probably been a while since he's wrangled any cattle. He's wearing like the Lone Ranger, He's wearing the Lone Ranger, right? Is that Lone Ranger, right? Yeah.

Oh, my God. I love that Averman gets distracted trying to steal a sticker off of somebody's door. Julie yells at him. It's a cool sticker, man. That's a cool sticker. Come on, Averman. Oh, my God. and then we've got connie and gee that's where i would want to be i would want to be outside with the binoculars you

know helping lead the charge from out there you know a little to the left that's a dangerous as as somebody who has done group pranks before the lookout it's the hardest no i'm saying to put a couple as your lookout is a dangerous game to play yeah it's a miracle they weren't just making out the entire time well i mean the reason they weren't and we find out later is because connie was disgusted with ghi's ninja outfit wow that was just that was some playful ribbing that was that was that was couple flirting is what that was that's you know i don't think she was actually disgusted i think she was like here's a good time to you know to roast my boy as a fun little jab you know when you get a little couple flirting back and forth and then bam there and then bam your lookout

is making out and then you get caught i've seen it happen many times he's i've been the one making out before it's it's it's it's a rough look when you're supposed to be the lookout you end up making out when kenny was stepping earn that trust back it's tough well i i mean that's actually a really good point like it's that is not super thought through by the group to have the couple out there. Yeah. It's dangerous. It's dangerous. Yeah.

But after that, Kenny is fishing for something. And I think I missed what he was fishing for. And he's just stepping all over Averman. Averman's like, ah, okay. Yeah. Okay. But fishing for something. No, he's. It's just my face.

They were. He wasn't. Was he fishing? No, he was trying to. fishing for something. It's just my face. They were... He wasn't... Was he fishing? No, he was trying to... Wasn't he feeding the tubes into the room? No, it looked like he was fishing for something on the other side. No, I think he was like...

He had a fishing reel. Yeah, but I think he was like lowering down... Oh, crap. I don't remember. I'd have to... I think they were just... They were trying to put the tubes into the rooms and they were they were trying to find like the they were trying to get

them onto the like into the beds and shit you know they were trying to like put them in the right spot that's why connie or not connie gee had like the the binoculars and he was like up a little higher a little higher oh because they are trying to get the tubes in the beds gotcha yeah yeah gotcha that makes sense that makes sense i think that's what that's what was happening uh with kenny i'd have to i forgot i am blanking though i'd have to go back and watch just to double check the fact that they have duane patrolling outside on a horse dressed as a lone ranger is really really good stuff like it's no i had a i had a question for you so so yeah duane's out patrolling yeah and and then we get why i would have loved to have seen that conversation because you don't

if you have a lookout why do you need him patrolling um so that no one comes home late like that like cole did well that was my other question is how later how late how late is this and where where was cole that fucking son of a bitch it was right after dinner so cole was out wandering and this is done at the night after dinner so it's probably i don't think he was out wandering oh you think he was with a lady yeah oh my god that that guy just makes me think of the pacific yeah um but uh or not the pacific band of brothers yeah but but i was wondering what time it was because there's this later on

towards the towards the end of the scene um there's a conversation had that i i want to talk about as well once we get to it but um but yeah so there so you know, Dwayne's patrolling, um, Cole wanders up after his, uh, his, his night with the, with the ladies. Yeah. And, uh, hold on the scene quick before that is when they're in the Dean's office and Charlie vacuums the ants. Like, I just, I don't know how they did that vacuum without taking too many or messing up the ant hillill like that just

is a plot hole i need to move on from but i got really stuck on the well how do you out because how would you take too many you can never have too many well because if you take too many the dean's gonna notice that someone's fucking with his ants but we've established he doesn't keep a head count you know we don't know that we don't know like and the way it vacuums there's no way to control that vacuum i don't know i don't think they're too worried about getting caught like i don't think they're worried about him realizing ants are gone in the morning how did they get the ants vacuum from there into a mason jar. I'm assuming instead of

hooking the vacuum up to a bag, you hooked it up to the mason jar. You're thinking... Or there was a connector to the mason jar. This scene has a horse in it and you're getting caught up on the fire is i just didn't get past how they got those ants vacuumed out of there into a mason jar i think it makes fucking sense you've been spending too much time with me heath

you're focusing on the wrong stuff that's real rich coming from you Brandon this is a real this is a flag situation all over again from D2 alright alright fine we'll move on you understand where I'm coming from though right like it doesn't make sense that they can vacuum those ants out of there like how would they distribute

they'd go like the ants don't anyways they wouldn't go everywhere they'd go into the bag or whatever you have at the end. It's fine. We're going to move past the ants in the mason jar. When Dwayne does say, hey, hey, hey, use a stray cat. That is so good he's like what the ha it'd be more fun if you ran and when he's chasing him down he's like little doggies and that's when we get the line of all lines guys they got horses dude i i do want to shout out cole though because he uh he has some speed he does he was out running that horse for a good amount of time yeah yeah he showed he showed a lot

of good speed for his size with a leather with a leather jacket on and everything yeah he had some he had some moves dude he had some moves yeah just oh my god and then this after that we get connie and gee and that's where it says, this ninja stuff really makes you look, I don't know how to say it, ruggedly handsome? No. Incredibly stupid. See, I think she's just razzing him there.

Because he does look ruggedly handsome. Yeah, very funny. Puts the binoculars back on. Why did you say it like that?'s what he said i think did he say it like that the binoculars no i didn't mean just a slip of the tongue that you caught brandon but yeah he him hog him chasing down and hog tying that's really funny was amazing yeah it's it makes no fucking sense it's like nowhere cool screaming out to no one because they're all in bed that they had horses was just it was at a moment in time where that's not going to be funny and

then to skip ahead at the very end when he's like fucking hot like hobbling into fucking dorms oh that's that's good stuff but honestly he got he he got the best end of the deal here he didn't have any fucking fire ants although they're probably still in his room but you know i

uh louise did you get some only a couple hundred charlie charlie has some good lines in this movie Louise, did you get some? Only a couple. Hundred. Charlie. Charlie has some good lines in this movie. He's got some good stuff. And once again, very flawed execution here. You're not just dumping ants into a funnel and having them run up tubes.

It's just not how it works. Oh, no, no, no. They're biting you. They're biting you all over like all of them dumping those ants the way they did or getting bit oh for sure you know like that really unless anyways unless he's unless now just thinking out loud here okay this is a disney movie right yeah oh do you think it's like the ants from Ants? No, I was going Ant-Man. You know how he controls the ants in Ant-Man?

Yeah, okay. Do you think this is part of the Ant-Man universe? It could be. I think Paul Rudd's in that funnel. Like the ant that he becomes friends with in the first movie? It's like one of his... Yeah, Antony. It's like his great- his step his like great grandpa yeah yeah he's a brazilian fire he's like oh he like tells

him about he's like oh dude my great great grandpa was a brazilian fire ant in the in the d3 movie it was fucking awesome in the in the eden hall wars yeah the eden hall wars it's uh i don't know it's i did like the i don't know what it's called but like the little they did like the charge music and then the varsity are just you know getting they're getting real bit ups studer and rick are getting eaten alive yeah and that's that's i just i you know and you hate to see it for scooter you know and as a kid i didn't understand like how did they show banks getting eaten too i think they did now they did they maybe i don't know i didn't really see it but But I mean, full panic mode, of course. Like you're getting gnawed on by fire ants.

You're getting swarmed. Like, oh man. And what do you think about, you guys are all just white trash. And Russ is like, who you calling white? I love that line. Yeah. We can call it white.

Dinner was great. Don't forget to wash behind the ears uh goodbye and then charlie gets an evil laugh well so this i want to talk about this because so rick is rick is calling them white trash he's saying they'll never amount to anything they're just here as a charity case and then charlie but uh slaps back a little bit but so then charlie or charlie says anytime anywhere right um and rick rick's response is tomorrow at dawn so this goes back to my question of what time is it currently right now because these motherfuckers I bet it's 1030 there's no way they're getting any sleep tonight

no not with those fire ant bites dude there's no way they have the what's the pink stuff remember the pink stuff you put on yeah so then you gotta budget like an hour and a half to put the pink stuff on to get some go get it yeah go get it

from the nurse's office the answer is still in your room you got to clean up those fucking hands that's gonna take god knows how long there's no way and then by the end of that then you're laying in bed we'll say you're still not falling asleep because you're still in fucking pain like you're not gonna fall asleep there's ants in that bed like you have to fumigate you have to call the you know the orcan man yeah there's just so that was my thought is like rick is that to call the you know the orcan man yeah there's just so that was my thought is like rick is that still a thing remember that the orcan man calling the orcan man working that's yeah it's still a company that's going around um good for them but that was my thought

i was like rick let's take a beat maybe not tomorrow morning maybe the next morning get a good night's sleep you know well they didn't need it brandon well i guess i mean you know ducks were but that was that was my thought that was like there's no way that these people these uh the varsity team is getting any fucking sleep tonight there's they're gonna be real groggy for that that dawn game i did absolutely love cole hopping though i'm gonna kill you and then they're charlie this is he's like oh boy i think it's probably time to leave see ya and then we get the we get the game well dude why was there so much fog in the rain is there usually morning fog first of all, I wrote how fucking sick is all this fog?

It's cool, but where did it come from? Does the ice rink get fog in the morning if it's hot outside and the ice is that cold? That seems like a lot of fog. It's definitely not to the

degree that it is in the movie. But you do get a... Depending on if it's like temperature changes and everything degree that it is in the movie but you do get a like yeah depending on like if it's like you know like temperature changes everything that was 100 smoke machine fog but you'll get like a little you'll get like a little dusting of fog every once in a while from a rink you know you know but i i was i saw i that's the that's the scene that i remember most from this movie like when i picture this movie in my head is the the the fog on the ice while they're all skating around and it's got like the the fucking uh sword sound effects in the background yeah yeah oh my god yeah for the skates and the

sticks like they're actually like getting ready to duel and the eden hall wars you know the eden The Eden Hall Wars. The Eden Hall Wars. And we have like full Team USA Ducks jerseys on by everyone. Oh, yeah. Quack, quack, quack. They're still sick. Like those jerseys are awesome. Oh, yeah. They're fantastic. Fantastic.

And then we get a little, you know, Julie the Cat slides on over to the goal. Hey, coach says I'm a starter in Goldberg. I don't see no coach i fucking hate goldberg yeah i mean it's real rough that he's gonna be a liability there but julie the cat being the way she is she said we'll split the shifts i want a piece of these guys they didn't end up splitting the shifts though goldberg was so terrible they didn't end up splitting the shifts yep because they just got in a fight and that was that yeah but i have in my notes classic goldberg because he like gives up a goal right fucking away well i we can get to that because first we get scooter to the cat lady hey can we call it even and the cat lady says no i hate ties they're like kissing your brother

do you think julie the cat has a brother she never talks about him i don't know never know but she doesn't want anything to do with scooter big scoot nasty absolutely not you know you know who i think would be real tight if they didn't have the rest of the team kind of weighing them down? I bet you Coach Orion and Julie the Cat. They got similar wavelengths. They're thinking in the same vein. They both hate ties. Julie the Cat.

They'd rather fucking lose than tie i feel like you know if you if you cut out all the shenanigans of the other ducks they would julie the cat and coach orion would have like a real like uh like tom brady bill belichick relationship you know she'd be like the patrick waugh of the ducks no no she's not patrick well patrick law is uh patrick law is a legitimately insane person julie the cat's temper is nowhere near that i uh julie the cat's more of like a martin brodeur kind of kind of character okay i like that i like that uh i also once again averman hits the heath right away talking all kinds of shit to a dude that's way bigger than him as a freshman do you see oh got some ants in your mask it looks like

you were a goalie for a dart team did you see him legitimately skating circles around him that was i didn't remember that but that was such a weird visual because he's so much shorter and he's just fucking circling him while he's like making fun of him i thought that was pretty fucking hilarious and then he and then he and then he grabs him he's like yeah i'll go yeah oh my god and then and then banks is like they didn't tell me until it was too late, Charlie. You got to believe me. And I love this from Charlie. Went full AC Slater on Banks, saved by the bell. He says, yeah, right, preppy. Yeah.

There's a, there's a, him and Banks' interactions at the end of this game are fucking fantastic. Oh, I have that too. That back and forth is amazing. But the fact that preppy boy man oh dude the fact that charlie is going full ac slater on banks is just you know calling him a preppy that's what ac slater always called zach it's like hey preppy what are you doing getting ready for the school dance no i'm going to the max to hang out with kelly let's move on i don't need to get you caught up in your saved by the bell story let's move on you don't want you want me to hit screech for you next

all right so first to 10 full check bring it on and literally they do like the i did love the like the the stick thing that they do where they ice clap ice clap you know that's that's fun that's right that's those are the rules that you're supposed to do when you don't have somebody dropping it yeah it's the i forget what he said he said it something boom clap boom clap i it made me made me think of that one i think it's tough of like some weird disney movie where they do that it doesn't matter anyways immediately is his name rick right rick just takes out charlie right off the face off, rips it past the liability of all liabilities,

Goldberg. Just real rough business. Like three, not even three seconds in. But before he goes and scores the goal, Cole has, I forget, I think it's Averman

and maybe Connie. He's like two for one. Oh, no, it's Guy and Connie. It's Guy and Connie. Guy and Connie just takes him out. Oh, my gosh. And then. Their little one-liners in this game were pretty good. They were almost as good as Iceland's one-liners.

All right. And then once you think about Charlielie he's like oh we gotta respond they scored right away flying v i i have i have in my notes here's this here's the fucking dumbass flying v again you you would think that you would think they would they would have learned by now right that this shit doesn't work i put get smoked because it's dumb. They break it up the same way Team Iceland did. You just fucking run right at them.

Yeah, you just take them out. And then Goldberg's just like, oh, geez. And then gets absolutely. Just, you know, classic Goldberg. Yeah, he's got nothing. And then trying to get the defense going goldberg's like need a little defense to help me out two-way hockey guys two-way hockey wait did you love julie the cat grabbing charlie from the bench charlie hit him with the triple d

it was so fucking stupid scooters too good for that you can't fool Scooter with that my favorite is that like Julie the cat grabbed Charlie from the bench like it was like a secret move that he could use that no one could stop and it's just the triple deke that is a normal

move it's a normal move it's the move he's famously known for yeah and then what do i have to do glove saving a beauty scooter scooter's too good you can't you can't come and skate our music was good too but you can't it's too good yeah you can't come with scooter with some half-assed you know we have a state championship winning goalie yeah like maybe you think some silly triple deke is gonna get him glove side sure right and he's won at least at least two straight state championships it's not if not three if he i don't know if he was on varsity when he was a freshman or not i'm assuming he probably was

i bet i don't know there's i bet he's not starting until he's a junior. If they're winning 10 straight, right. And the goalie. Wow. I mean, if it starts as a junior, if it was anybody other than scooter,

I would be with you, but it's, it's fucking scooting. So you think he got it? Maybe as a sophomore, I'm, I'm willing to bet scooter. My boy scooter is a,

is a four year starter. Wow. Wow. Yeah. That's, willing to bet scooter my boy scooter is a is a four-year starter wow wow yeah that's that's big that's big words i i don't agree with you if i know anything about my boy scooter scott white. Gunnar Stahl, he started all four years. Listen, Brandon, no. Because, and you know why? He was the captain of Team Iceland, Heath. A dynasty like this with 10 straight state championships in Minnesota. You know how you get a dynasty like that, Heath?

With consistent, top-notch goalie play. You know who's giving that to you? It's Gunnar Stahl. Scooter. Team Iceland. Scooter gives you that goalie play after two years on the bench. No, dude. He spent the entire first half of his life being the captain of Team Iceland.

He's coming in here and he's crushing. He was goalkeeping when blowouts were happening. That's it. I don't think you know Puck, dude. You don't know Puck. I don't know Puck. So,

anyways, yeah, we get, it's just a bloodbath you know we just connie is getting getting frustrated it's like we can't win if they're gonna cheat and and charlie's like you know you can't show show them we're hurting we got to keep skating and then well yeah because rick Rick, I mean, Rick was throwing some very... Oh, yeah, he's like, you got a problem, sweetie? Yeah, Connie, you know, very condescending

jabs, you know, just like Team Iceland. Threatened by a girl. Yeah. You want some of this, punks? Yeah. You want some of this, punks? Yeah. But this is where Charlie and Banks go at it, right? Yep.

So Charlie takes Banks down with a headlock, and Banks goes, get off me, Charlie, get off. And Charlie goes, how do you like it, Banks? And then Banks, with the worst comeback ever, says, yeah, nice takedown. You'd be in the box. I thought that was great. He would be in the box. That's a penalty.

And this is, you know. Because you forgot to mention, so Charlie is on a breakaway on offense. And Banks catches up to him, tries to steal the puck. And then Charlie just puts him in a headlock. Yeah, and takes him tries to steal the puck and then charlie just puts him in a headlock yeah and takes him down as the offensive player yeah and so yes it was a nice takedown and yes he would be in the box but in street puck that's a terrible comeback this isn't street puck this is this is full check you gotta be you gotta you gotta be on the street in order for it to be street puck you know know what I mean, Brandon.

It's not what I say, it's what I mean. It's just a pickup game. Do you even blade, bro? No, I'm terrible at it. But my favorite is after he makes that terrible comeback, Charlie's like, go cry to your rich parents, punk. All right, fine. Charlie has... Banks literally just goes all right fine after he tells

him to go cry to his rich parents and try his head locking it's really good stuff and come on preppy i love the preppy stuff but in in banks's defense go cry to your rich parents is also a terrible comeback yeah um and charlie charlie's got a real uh like napoleon complex when it comes to money you know he's he's real worried about being poorer than all the kids in this school he's real salty that he's got a single mom who's poor you know that works at a diner and he just yells at her in it like a dick yeah yeah i mean poor casey conway casey conway is an angel of a mother she's just trying to she gets rewarded with this piece of shit you know she's just trying to make her way that's all she's doing she's doing a good job dude yeah

she got this kid into a fucking prep school on scholarship. You know? But this is where... She had to sleep with an alcoholic lawyer in order to do it, but she did. You got to do what you got to do sometimes, right? Those are sacrifices you have to make, okay? Do you think Goldberg actually got into the fight? He yelled at them to wait for him. No, Goldberg is the biggest wussy in the

world oh no we knew that we already know the goldberg move he's gonna go have some people hold him back while he pretends yeah yeah yeah now goldberg yeah goldberg is zero hell goldberg is zero help in all situations it's been okay it's been a long time since i've had a goldberg rant Goldberg sucks. He really like this movie. Like I was a Goldberg defender in one and two, even like I was team Goldberg. But at this point in time, Julie, the cat has,

he hasn't put in, this is my beef with Goldberg personally. Is it. If you want to do the time, you got to put in the effort, right? Like if you want to play zero work ethic. got to put in the effort, right? Like if you want to play. Zero work ethic.

Yeah. Like that's where he bugs the shit. Like if you're going to want to play at this level, you got to put in some form of effort, you silly bastard. Like you can't just be cracking wise and expecting your big ass to stop everything. For the love of God, stop leaving the net. Why does he do? Why does he always get stuck behind the net it never works and why does he always go behind the net and then fall to his knees like how does that like how does he not keep his feet like they can't hit him they can't bump him like so how is he never on his feet when he's behind the net i think that's just

his go-to move is just follow his knees and hope somebody calls the penalty or something oh my god he's still uh he's still gonna take the fall act hurt get indignant fucking goldberg man fuck that guy it's really good stuff but then dude this is great coach Orion step two when he puts those lights on did you see break it up did you see he's wearing a different version

of that NHLPA sweater it's a blue now instead of red oh I didn't see that I spent conservatively an hour and a half last night trying to figure out where to buy one of those i couldn't i couldn't find one you can find it so if anybody if anybody has the hookup on where to find a sweater like that let me know because i i need one i need one i'll take red or blue i'll take either one i don't i don't care did coach Coach O'Ryan broke that up

pretty fast, though? He did. He's got a presence. People scattered. Did you like my boy Averman had his jersey pulled off? He pulled off his glasses so they didn't get broken. They were in his hand and then he had his jersey pulled over his head. I didn't notice.

He was holding his glasses. What a fucking nerd. Holding his glasses in his hand, jersey pulled over his head. Coach't notice he was holding his glasses what a fucking nerd holding his glasses in his hand jersey pulled over his head coach is yelling at them why wouldn't he just keep the helmet on over the glasses that i love averman he's fantastic i'll have to go back and look at that because i didn't notice that he's just flailing around with his jerseys pulled over his head and he's got his glasses in his hand that's good stuff as coach orion's so mad oh and that's exactly what i would be doing at that moment in time too something weird something awkward something that's like makes the coach go damn it what is wrong with this kid and then coach orion this is a good lecture he gives them when he's like well

congratulations you just forfeited whatever mental edge you might have had over the varsity now they know they own you this isn't the peewees your little duck tricks aren't gonna work at this level now for the last time stay away from the varsity fair points that's what we've been trying to tell these fucking ducks the whole goddamn time he was this is where he didn't he did go a little too far he didn't need to make him strip their jerseys like i understand like the symbolism behind this at this point you got it because it's it's like the symbolism like get the jerseys off you are no longer ducks get yeah you gotta get if you can't yeah if you can't get past it you gotta get out and charlie just stares him down arms crossed breaking up the best thing any of us ever had well it's time to grow up

and charlie's being a bit dramatic there like calm, calm down, dude. You were 10. Yeah. You won. You won the peewee hockey championship, bro. And then the junior goodwill. Okay. I guess. Yeah. So you need to calm down to Brandon. He's basically, he was on a Wheaties box, bro.

That was like basically the cover of fortune in the nineties. That's true. That's true. They named a team after him. Yeah. Yeah. You know, there's a lot of pieces of ego. Wasn't getting along with his mom's new boyfriend after Bombay.

Was abandoned by Bombay multiple times. Realizing you've peaked at 14 is rough, you know? So it's a tough thing to get over. Some of us were never cool. I've never even seen my peak or a peak. I'm still at base camp, bro. Yeah, listen. I mean, that actually should put a lot of encouragement.

Like, dude, you haven't even – you've peaked so little that you haven't even – there's still a peak to look forward to. It's far – it's a long ways's it's far it's a long ways away though it's a long way away dude 55 is gonna be your time brandon oh dude we've talked about this before old man brandon is is for sure gonna be my peak once you get your old man era from like 45 to 75 when i'm like okay it's over let's end this um it's gonna be just yeah peaking peaking for days dude i cannot believe sitting sitting in my house all alone you know yelling at people yelling at people getting urban legends mad at the news getting urban legends made

about me like oh that's that's fucking that's fucking old man Axelson, dude. Oh, yeah, dude. He murders the people and he crunches up their body into the salt that he uses for the ice. Yeah, exactly. Let's see. You're going to be Broomfield's crazy bud.

Man with the most toys wins. It's Fort Collins now. It'll be Fort Collins' crazy bud. Yeah, most toys wins it's fort collins now before collins is crazy bud yeah that's crazy brandon i want to i want to be like so mysterious and aloof and like off-putting that not only do they create urban legends about me but they also create urban legends about my dog you know like him and his dog eat the people that they hunt down together in the neighborhood that cross them yeah they dine together

on human flesh that's why I've been I've been teaching flapjack to freak out and bark at everything I want I want a lot better about that they're just so old at this point at everything. I want... They've gotten a lot better about that. They're just so old at this point

that they don't cause a ruckus if they see someone, but they've started to chill out with just general noises. I want children to see me and my dog on the street and cross the road to get away from us that's what i will

my dogs have the complete opposite effect of that there could not be a more different effect than sometimes honestly josie gets offended because like she'll when josie walks she'll stand in the middle of the sidewalk so that you can't pass her without her at least getting a little drive-by sniff and like tapping you in the leg and so it's really awkward for me because i have to try and like maneuver around the person just trying to use the sidewalk like every person should be able to but josie will stand in a way and then she'll like kind of get her feelings hurt if they don't pause and and just drop down for a couple pets you know she doesn't need a lot she just needs a quick quick little head head pat and a chance to tap you with her nose if you had a scary dog that made people cross the street in

fear you wouldn't have that problem well jenkins is actually the worst about it because he acts he acts like he's he gets all excited he's like oh hey yeah you want to come pet me and then the stranger will go down to pet him and he'll be like just kidding i fucking hate you and just go the other way and so people get so excited to pet this super cute dog and he's just like fuck off i gotta pee on this stuff all right so anyways what i do have to say is, can you believe what Charlie said in response to Coach O'Ryan? Like, yikes-a-mundo. That was, like, grew up like you, huh? Washed up, bro, has to show off to a bunch of kids?

Jeez, that's a real grown-up. You know what I got to say to that, Heath? Goodbye, Conway. Yeah. Okay, goodbye, Conway. Anybody else? God, that was good though and then fulton stares him down skates off all right goodbye fulton he this is this is a he makes a fantastic point here though brandon and he says no one is forcing you to be here it's your lives you decide what to make of them exactly more people need to

understand that like you make your own path you own the decisions you make if you're an idiot idiot shit will happen to you trust me what do i say if it happened to you you deserved it yeah exactly and there was uh i had a i had a lot of comeuppance i guess in my 20s because i was an idiot so i don't know what i did throughout my life but i got a lot of comeuppance, I guess, in my 20s because I was an idiot. I don't know what I did throughout my life, but I got a lot of comeuppance throughout my 20s. Just getting started. Just getting started. Tip of the iceberg.

There's a lot worse shit headed my way. Thought life sucked before. It's about to get real shitty. But Orion, he does great here. Again, he's probably a little more harsher than he needs to be but goodbye conway goodbye fulton the ducks are dead he didn't need to say that i feel i i feel like it's gone too far that you they're not they they didn't listen to him at any point during the you know up until now you have to and everybody everybody else keeps calling them the ducks keeps playing into the fire right you gotta you gotta

take all the oxygen away from it yeah you gotta you gotta rip the band-aid off at this point you just gotta you gotta the ducks are dead like it's time to fucking move on um i like how he makes him hit 20 laps before they hit the showers after the scrimmage in the morning well it's early they play they started this at dawn it's probably what 8 30 right now the whole day we got the whole day ahead of us he's actually here's the thing brandon and and this not to just you know once again get caught on semantics and pull a very Brandon thing here, but like dawn, depending on the time of the year, typically is around like five-ish, right? Like maybe a little earlier in the summer, maybe a little later in the winter. This is Minnesota.

We're up north, okay? So dawn is like 6 a.m. Well, no. So no, no, no, no. Dawn is either like 5 a.m. Or if it's the winter time, we're talking 9 o'clock, 830, something like that. Okay. So we're at the beginning of the school year.

Okay. So my follow-up to that is what time do we practice to hunt goose eggs? 5 a.m., right? Yes. So if I'm a duck and I know that my coach loves for me to practice at 5 a.m. and that psycho is usually at the gym at 5 a.m., why would I want to do this game at dawn where i know my coach is probably going to be there halfway through the game so well i'm assuming this is like a saturday right oh okay

okay maybe okay that makes sense i was just like man they were just asking for trouble that dude's there at dawn for hunting goose eggs of course he caught him well yeah and i mean where else is where else are they going to do it that's the only rink we really have access to you know yeah um and it's the beginning of the sun at midnight you know like a duel we duel at midnight see well that's what i'm saying that he jumped the gun too quick after getting eaten by the fire ants he needed to give himself some time you know but i looked at highlander so i looked so i'm picturing because we're at the beginning of the school year. I'm picturing, you know, we've had a couple of practices.

We've played a game. We did the dinner, right? I'm assuming we're looking at like, you know, October, early October, right? Maybe that's what I'm thinking. So I looked it up. Sunrise, dawn, for Minnesota in October, 7 a.m.-ish. So coach – I think you're not getting taught by a coach at 7 a.m. Coach Orion has been awake and there for two hours. Yeah.

Yeah. Like there's no there's. Yeah. So anyways, it just it's just me calling out that flawed logic from the ducks that like, dude. Of course, I don't think they were too worried about getting caught, though. I think they were. I think they wanted to get caught.

I think I think Charlie did. I think Charlie's like it's like the person that's cheating. Finally, they just want to get caught because they're trying to keep it a secret. Hold it inside all those years. I could never cheat. Oh, my God. My guilty conscience would ruin my life. I don't know how people do it.

I would never want to do it i there's i would never i would i would never want to do it in the first place but if i ever did do it it would it it would last the total of however long it was until i saw them next and then i would just blurt it out oh my god 1000 could you imagine like i just could never imagine living with that like oh it's insane guilt in that lie like i would like i would self-combust or i would like have a heart attack and like literally just just die from like the i just couldn't like as a kid yeah you're an idiot but like and now as an adult i couldn't even even as a kid i couldn't i i have the worst anxiety when everything in my life is above board and all right.

If I was like hiding and lying, my anxiety would, I, yeah, I would give myself a heart attack from anxiety. I would be so, so fucking paranoid. Dude. I mean, I probably shouldn't share this on air, but it is a really funny story where, um, you, you know, where I, I thought like I, I made a friend on an airplane and then I thought I accidentally asked her on a date. Oh, yeah.

And I called. And I got back to the hotel and I was just like, I told a person I was going to go to the game. They were like, I'll go with you. And I was just like, okay. And I moved on with my day. And then I got back to my hotel room and the, the guilt of this, like I immediately, immediately called Kelly.

It was like, Hey, I don't know what to do. I think I asked someone out on a date on accident. I was like, I, I don't, I don't know what to do. And she just started laughing so hard at me. And then, and she was like, she's like, go, go hang out with this person. I'm assuming they don't think it's a date and just go be normal. Just do, do me that favor. Spoiler alert.

I was not normal. And she sat down and I looked up and I was like, I'm so sorry. You don't think I accidentally asked you on a date, do you? Because I have a partner that I've been with for like over six years. And she was looked at me and she's like, I didn't think this was a date. And I was like, okay, okay, perfect. When, when went to a predators game, it was fantastic. Predators are the worst.

Oh, I know. But they had a, they had a fun in-game experience honestly like i had a lot of it's not bad who were they playing you remember jeez i can't remember it was a pre-season game and pre-season and we sat at the very last row in the stadium like it was the very top row and sat next to these two british dudes um that were talking about hockey as two british dudes fitting visiting nashville would talk about hockey so that was really fun for um eavesdropping and then the people the the date in front of us was really interesting to kind of watch that unfold too interesting i went to a a predators game uh when i was living in atlanta they were playing the the

the avalanche who um that's that's why i went because i'm avalanche fan so i went and i don't know if it was i don't know what was going on in nashville that day but for some reason always stuff there's oh dude like well well i'm saying because i got um I got third row tickets for dirt cheap. Oh, damn, dude. The amount of Bachelorette party buses rocking at 10 a.m. on a random weekday is wild. You would think that would raise ticket prices, right? But it did not. But I was three rows.

It's a fun game experience. I was three rows back from the bench right behind the colorado avalanche bench um i was on tv too though if anybody wants to i had a buddy text me he's like are you at the fucking prejudice game right now uh but i was uh i was like right but uh so i got there for warm-up so i'll get over the bed right by the bench, right by the tunnel that the Avalanche were coming in and out of. And I was pounding Coors Lights, right? Yeah. I'm talking like I'm already – like the warm-ups are still going. I've already had three.

I love that. That's expensive for games. But it was when we – it was when P.E. Belmar, you're not going to know that name. The true puck heads out there will know who P.E. Belmar is, though. He was on the avalanche and he saw me pounding these Coors Lights.

He skated up and walked up into the tunnel to get close to me. He was like, hey, where's mine? I was like, I'll buy you one. You really want one? Right before the game, P.E.? I love

random interactions with real people and you're like, wait, oh my god, are you talking to me? Are you serious, P.E.? I'll buy you one. I'll get you one. This is an incredible interaction. Yeah. he ended up turning it down though it was like you know 10 minutes before puck drop probably not the best

idea yeah I mean listen I used to have to and I interacted with somewhat famous people at absolutely the worst time of my life the mid-20s like I was a complete idiot like there's no way that Spud Webb thought I was anything other than a fucking moron, you know, like, but he was very nice about doing shots with me and stuff. That was nice. You know, like I've had some, some moments like that, but that's like in my twenties and I was so weird, you know, and I had was just experiencing the real world for the first time that wasn't like small town Nebraska. So I had a lot to figure out. So some of my interactions were C plus to B minus work at best.

Well, you got to experience that with Spud Webb. Yeah. And I bet he was very grateful for that but yeah it was like man what a great what a what a great experience for me to tell my friends about this weird extreme like extremely weird white dude that i was just ripping shots with after a team event okay uh i think i think that's about it so that we're wrapping up part six we're officially past the halfway mark we're around the corner here we got four left

it's been a hell of a journey Brandon it's been this movie is so good it's so good it's not good you gotta quit saying it's good it's not a good movie they're dead done so it's not a good movie but The ducks are finally dead, Heath. They're dead. Done so. It's not a good movie, but it's a fun rewatch.

Like, I forgot how much fun this movie is. That's true. I always forget to, because I've been told many, many times that I have weird taste. And so I always forget that when I say something's good i just mean that i i enjoy it not that it's like a good piece of film but that i watched it i enjoyed it that's what that's all i mean when i say that it's a good movie is that i had a i had a fucking blast when i was watching it it's it's we talked about this but like every like trilogy like this I feel like there's a lot of them where the third one is like, yikes. We probably could have kept this at two and been just fine. But for the true fans, that third one will always hold just a special place in your heart.

I will forever love some time-traveling Ninja Turtles becoming Samurai Warriors. And I think we talked about this way way on vhs had all three on vhs it was awesome i think we uh puffy boxer now no no no i don't think the turtles came in puffy boxes they just had the sleeves that's true that might have it because when did the third one come out geez Geez, I don't know. Like 98? Oh, okay. That would have been. It was like 90, 94, and 98 or something like that.

Okay. I'd say Puffy Boxes weren't really a thing until like the mid-90s, like 93, 94. Yeah, and it was usually Disney movies. So they popped up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think we talked. We didn't have Disney movies. We got the Knock Off Ones fire from hollywood video besides the ducks

yeah yeah besides the d2 d2 but got that for christmas i think that wasn't on we we talked about this way way back at the beginning i don't know if we've touched on it since but i this one has a special place in my heart because this was the first one of the ducks this was the first movie that i actually that this is the first my first uh toe dipping into the ducks franchise because this came out when i was like five years old and i like you know i'm finally understanding what you know what a movie is and so this this was my my entry point into the ducks franchise so this is a special place in my heart um coach orion is it is an angel i love coach orion yeah he i i do wish he would have come in just like you know 25 less hot at the at the beginning and i think he was his points

would have been made he's not more digestible he's not perfect i'll give you that okay he could have worked on being more digestible i'll give you that but especially for these spoiled brat like ducks like he can't come in hot with that there's too much ego i think you got you gotta you gotta chip away at the ego though you gotta you know you gotta i guess you don't you don't have to chip away at the ego you gotta you don't have to chip away at the ego you gotta knock the ego out right out the get go you gotta take a sledgehammer to that ego alright yeah he's just trying to suffocate

the ego completely by removing all oxygen from it that's right but yeah Coach Ron's the best I mean we still got a long journey to go. We are gearing up to see what life is like for the freshman Eden Hall Warriors without Fulton and Charlie on the squad.

Two men down. That's some real tight rotations. I hope they're in shape. Yeah, now we're down to 10 people total, right? Yeah, 10 players total. Yeah, now we're down to 10 people total, right? Yeah, 10 players total. Yeah, and all I can think of is they sure could use that one dude's kid right about now, I'm sure.

Yeah, they could use him. They could use Portman. They could use Jesse. Where the fuck is Jesse? You know? Who else? Who else did we lose? Did we lose anybody besides Jesse? Just Jesse from D2. Right.

Yeah. I'm trying to go through my, go through D2 in my head here. Well, and Portman, but you know, he was, he was there briefly at the beginning.

Yeah. He was, he was mentioned at least. He was on screen. He was at the, the, in part, the part one we did when they did the little podium speech.

He's right there. Yeah, yeah, we just lost Jesse. It's a real bummer. What do you think Carp's up to right now? Oh, my God. Juvenile detention center somewhere. That's Peter for sure. That's Peter.

You're right. You're right. Carp is probably, you know what carp is doing brandon honestly he probably went to a two-year trade school he's gearing up for high school he's going to some public high school in minnesota he's he's attending maybe a shop class gearing up for like a two-year vocational school once he gets out maybe join his dad's plumbing business you know does his dad own a plumbing business no i made that up just making up my own storylines in my head as we go Thank you.