The Cake Eaters - 89. D3: The Mighty Ducks - Part 9

Episode Date: July 30, 2024

Heath & Brandon continue talking D3: The Mighty Ducks! Today’s episode goes over minutes 80-90. The boys discuss Coach Orion breaking out the Bombay practice drills, Rihanna and the Four R's, Edina High School's hockey team, Bombay Attorney at Law, Brandon's dead mom, Goldberg on defense, and the battle of David v Goliath finally begins. Follow us on Instagram @thecakeeaterspod Email us at [e-mail]

It's not worth winning if you can't win! What's up, America? Drop a beat for us. Stomp, quack, stomp, stomp, quack, stomp, quack, stomp, stomp, quack. Ah, the duck's born of thunder. Ah, he flies through the night. Ah, don't you mess with his eggs now. Ah, or you'll see a fight.

Ah, yes, we have feathers. Ah, but the muscles of men. Ah, because we're birds of war now but we're also men ducks of war I started high I had to go low because that was chaos that was probably too long again

now that I actually heard it this is the KQDist podcast everybody that's heath with a fantastic rendition of uh birds of war from it's always sunny in philadelphia my name is brandon i was just singing in brandon yeah that was that was now that now that i heard it in all its glory it was great but it was probably a little bit too long it's a very hefty intro and we probably should have shaved that saved that for the cartoon because you know they actually are like half human half ducks in the cartoon so well i will say this brandon if you don't carve out the

first part of it for tiktok i'm gonna be so mad why would i why would i not carve out the first part what do you mean the first part of it i gotta carve out the whole thing the whole thing you mean the first part of it? I got to carve out the whole thing, the whole thing. You're just going to rock the whole thing. All right. Nice. Okay.

Cause that'll, that'll actually be fantastic. What an episode. What a start. Brandon, we're reaching the conclusion. What is it? The penultimate?

Yeah. Yeah. Well, and then the cakey's, but yeah, that goes with that scene. Everybody. Yeah, exactly. Ah cakey's, but yeah, that goes with that scene. Everybody. Yeah, exactly.

Ah, well, here we are, Brandon. What a journey. We're we're back. The ducks are back. We're no longer freshmen warriors or freshmen ducks. Yep. Yep. Well, we got to practice montage before we get to being the ducks you know and as we learn

there is nothing more ducky than some undisciplined practicing brandon that's how we start off i'm glad you mentioned that because i have in my notes i i like the bombay thinking here with the trash yeah i just don't know how how it translates you know listen if you're coach orion and you're like all right i gotta get these freshmen to figure out how to play hockey but every time i try to do it in a normal way in a normal hockey coach way they freak out and they rebel against me so what's the best thing i can do? Somebody has a goddamn hissy fit. I got to duck it up real quick. And that is how we start because we get inspirational music and we are skating laps, Brandon, son of a gun. We're getting in shape because we're getting ready to play some blue collar hockey like we've never been before. No longer the Miami Dolphins of the Eden Hall Warriors,

but some real, maybe some Baltimore Raven-esque blue-collar-ness. Yeah, no more finesse bitch team. Yeah, yeah. You know, I like the Ravens, you know, when they run the ball. Run it down your throat. Yep. Anyways, but yeah, Coach O'Ryan gives him a nice little pep talk, too. He says, all right, you guys, been doing my homework on the varsity.

Not going to lie. They're good. Yeah. This is my favorite. Not a fluke. The way they wiped your faces in the dirt last time was no fluke. If you want your pride back, you better be willing to work. Way to show them straight coach orion

like listen you guys fucking suck and you know they just they wipe the floor with you because you were just being little babies out there and you were trying to fly and be your way through that shit yep not gonna fly here you know because there's nothing glamorous about it brandon in the pros they call it blue collar hockey who's the most blue collar hockey team right now would you say right now um yeah like in 2024 historically it's it's probably philly the flyers that makes sense yeah okay right now right now i'm trying to think who's a real blue people went nuts for rempy people went absolutely nuts he's having his like insanity moment but he is the rangers aren't really blue

collar they're just cheap shotters though you know yeah um like that fucking elbow he gave that was a couple months ago that was rough that was That was rough, yeah. That's not really, yeah. I'm trying to think. Who's like, it's hard to pick now because everything is like finesse bitch in the NHL now. Well, they changed the rules to get more fans, more goals, more fans. Yeah, and everybody's so fucking fast. Yeah. So, yeah, I wouldn't say there there's i can't think of like a team that's like blue collar there's definitely a couple blue car blue collar like players that

are hanging on like the minors is where they still muck it up a lot yeah but like you got patty maroon who just got traded to the bruins he's a real blue collar all those like fourth line guys are like like uh cogliano on the abs he's a real blue collar guy um almost like every every team those penalty killers yeah yeah but there's not really like a whole team that's like that now because you can't you can't yeah you can't really win like that um you just get everybody skates the skates around you yeah well anyways you know what the varsity does while brandon they are vultures around the net they don't beat you with the first piece of loose trash with the second and the third and the fourth they bang

in the junk the six you want to win you gotta pick up the trash and the eighth who do who's the trashiest person you know that needs to get picked up no i'm kidding i don't know if we want to go down this road here he's just kidding please don't answer to brandon for the love of god that was but but when he does i love this he dumps the trash on the ice russ is our russ and averman and hit our comic relief stinky and then averman picks up the bagel and he says have any cream cheese did you see that the bagel had like a sticker on the bottom there's a whole fucking bagel on trash yeah someone just well i mean you know maybe he got the trash from goldberg's delicatessen and those were stale bagels

maybe he's driving all the way to goldberg's deli though to get the trash yeah yeah he had goldberg bring it with him hey goldberg can you bring the trash from your parents restaurant today i got a point to prove i would love that you see it's just it's just goldberg rollerblading to school with a bag of trash yeah maybe charlie's mom gave him a ride yeah okay oh but did you while they're like fighting with the trash with coach orion he literally yells at them come on come on come on clear the bagel out oh man that's i kind of get what where he's going with with this specific um drill where he dumps it in the crease and he's trying to get the the demon to

just clear it out that kind of makes a little bit of sense but then they start like skating down the street and picking up trash and now we're just you know that's called community service brandon they're just out there ducking it up in the community i did not i did not realize how how uh dirty the city of Minneapolis is. Goodness gracious, guys. A bunch of litterers over there. It's a real shame. Obviously, they did not get the message in elementary school to reduce, reuse, and recycle.

Three R's. Jesus. Four R's. What's the fourth one? It's reduce, reuse, recycle, Rihanna. Do you ever watch Broad City city that's a great show okay i never i never really watched that but go go back and watch that that's fantastic it's a great great show i mean kelly would love that i bet you kelly would love that show no she's she's watched it she's watched it we just uh she didn't she's didn't have the energy to go back and re-watch it with me while i watch

it the first time so if i do it i gotta do it on my own and it's not something i necessarily like jumped out to pursue yeah that's fair give it a shot though that's a great that's a great scene the four r's reduce reuse recycle rihanna oh man oh um come here ruben speaking of um this is this is gonna come out um a couple weeks afterwards but speaking of heath yeah because we are the official podcast of the adina hornets high school uh athletic booster club let's go. They just won state. What? Yeah. Congrats to the Idina, not Hawks.

Hornets. Hornets. That's what I said. Yeah. Yeah, they won state. Did you message their group to say we'd like to exchange our tickets for a t-shirt. No, just go buy a fucking t-shirt. See.

I guarantee you, though, the difference, the thing that pushed them over the edge to win state was our $50. Oh, absolutely. State hockey. Yeah. That's fantastic. What have they won? Have they won any other sports? I don't know.

Are there any other sports? I guess that no. Yeah. Well, anyways, uh, no, that's fantastic.

Congrats to them. The Hornets crushing it. Number one team. All right. Well, coach Orion, after their one in the standings and number one in our hearts he's forever and only is some of that and you know hornets that's not a bad it's not a bad mascot no not at all not at all i would have i would have loved for them to just really lean into the being the bad guys of the mighty ducks and being the hawks well i mean the thing the thing is they were yeah it's probably it's probably copyrighted and they were around you know 40 years before for that movie why why wouldn't

you change your name based on this i i'm i'm shocked they didn't i think we talked about this in one of the past episodes are the the non-alliteration name throws me off you know yeah that must just be like a colorado thing where everything's um i think we had this exact conversation actually now that i'm bringing it up again but um you get your shit together but like the edina um elks or you know the Adina the Adina what's with an E it'd be the Adina Elvira's you can name it after Elvira

that'd be tight I mean yeah she was pretty cool I don't know what else says with an E yeah I don't know either we'd have to E. Yeah, I don't know either. We'd have to Google something, because I'm sure there's some weird name or insect. So you could go real racist with it and do Eskimos. Yeah, I guess. But then they'd have to change it to the ducks.

Maybe the Edina Electrons electrons and they'd be supercharged what's the uh what's the pokemon name the big giant uh light bulb that explodes electrode yeah edina electrodes did you see that there's a whole neighborhood in vegas that just ran out of ideas for street street names so they're like fuck it pokemon and so they're just their whole their whole neighborhood is just pokemon names the uh so i was sitting for my buddy in uh um millican do you know where millican is no it's uh it's right by johnstown where they're putting the buckies oh fuck yeah i love buckies godee's. Every street, not every street, but the streets that go north, south in Milliken are all lady names. Like Alice, Grace, Dawn.

It goes in alphabetical order, too. But the legend has it there used to be a brothel when uh out here when the town first started and each of the streets is named after one of the ladies that worked on shout out yeah you know i don't i have a hard time i hope that wherever they're resting i hope that they know you know yeah i have a hard time believing that considering it goes in like perfect alphabetical order you know but it's i mean everyone knows that brothels back in the day were had the women lined up alphabetically by name and just one per letter too yeah all right so anyways brandon we get back and we have a wonderful practice montage and

then coach orion he buzzes that whistle and he says all right now get over here grab a knee that was a real hot real fucking hostile you guys are not skating like warriors and then the subtitles say averman mumbles oh i didn't notice that he's always that man he's always mumbling um i thought that was really good and then he says you look like something else huh you look like ducks and then he tosses cowboy duane that first jersey and we get quiet quiet quiet quiet quiet quiet quiet quiet and then it fades into the game brandon and here we go isn't there there's a couple more montage shots no there's no no i kind of went through the montage pretty quick it well it was an incredibly

quick montage yeah they just took some laps they didn't garbage they didn't fucking practice at all it was a very the cat is like all right guys it's looking pretty clean up here very uh very little practicing going on probably one of the worst practice montages i've ever seen especially compared to d1 and d2 those were like legit you know let's turn this thing around montages well number one brandon you don't know about practicing like a duck you know i think i know i think we've come to i know everything about practicing like a duck oh yeah like you don't know i come from the minnesota miracle magic that you get i come from the bombing coach this practice he's we've talked about this do you think that they should have roped then do you think like a good like duane roping would have kind of been the chef's kiss

on this practice montage? You know what they should have done? They should have had him rope the trash can. That would have been the creme de la creme. Just you know? I don't know. All I'm saying is

what else would you have liked for them to do? I would have liked for them to do? They did like the jump over the hockey stick. Anything hockey related. Any actual hockey practicing would have been welcomed. Like a little three-on-three or even just some passing drills in the blue line. Yeah, anything, dude. Anything hockey related would have been very welcomed

instead of community service. This was a community service montage is what this was. Well, it was nice that they did some rollerblading through whatever town Eden Hall's in, picked up the trash. In Minneapolis, I believe, right? Hopefully they left a note on that neighborhood's doors of like, hey, get your shit together on the mailboxes cleaned up by the dunks your trash just got quacked that would be a good little like

sticker to throw around after coming through your trash just got quacked dude and I bet you anything they donated to clean the highway you know this highway was cleaned by the ducks your trash just got quacked right they're not donating though they're just i mean they're donating their time yeah these are the these are the poor these are the poor kids they're the wrong side of the tracks

kids they ain't got no donation money. Well, the highway that they clean, they just donated it to the ducks for free. They just gave them that highway. Exactly, yeah. They're donating their time, and then the city throws up the sign. I get you now. But yeah, we're not donating. We're not paying for our own sign. That's not fucking happening but anyways brandon after we get quacked up it gets

quackalicious for the first time in a long time brandon q to the u to the a c k l i c i o u s quackalicious crushed it nailed it proud of thank you. I think that's a first. To go from your incredibly inappropriate rendition of Quackalicious to Han's death is a real tough segue here, Heath, but I'm going to do it anyway. Well, Brandon, wait, hold on. First, the Dean and the Yacht Club bro are shaking hands. And this, we got to give a shout out to the announcer kid, Josh, because he puts on a fantastic performance in these last two episodes that we're going to talk through because he is all in. Fasten your seat belts and hold on to your hats, everyone. There's no Bob.

We have a special showdown for you. David versus Goliath in a Titanic grudge match. The winner can truly say that he is the symbol of Eden Hall. Tonight, the Eden Hall varsity warriors do battle with the Eden Hall freshman ducks. That's right, Brandon. Look at those uniforms. The sign of the duck is here at Eden Hall for at least one night. So are they officially playing for the

name i always wondered this no i don't think it i don't think they're playing for the name i think that bombay is working his magic because everyone at the end everyone's like uh bombay that bombay he just lawyered the shit out of eden hall god that's some real bird law there, Brandon. Nobody talks about Bombay the rest of the movie. Yeah, right, dude. And what will be the next episode after, spoiler,

after they're quacking it up at the end, Bombay is all over the place. He's standing there. Nobody says he loitered the shit out of it, though. is all over the place and they're in like they he's standing there nobody nobody nobody says he'd lawyer the shit out of it though should shoulder shrug bombay and the dean says to the yacht club guy bombay have it in the notes brandon does he when does he say bombay yeah i mean i don't know we're arguing over this in episode too soon but whatever

anyway so I they make that very murky whether or not the name is on the line and I just don't think I think these I mean these people the board of trustees were very hesitant

about even letting these motherfuckers back into the school I don't think they're going to be all willy-nilly to change the name i'm not i'm with you there brandon but you know if once you get lawyered bombay from bombay there's no coming back from that like he's ruthless he's gonna he's gonna take everything he has i read a uh a really weird theory um about this movie the other day i'll bring it up in the next when we talk about bombay again in part 10 um because it's uh it's weird it doesn't make it that he's dead yeah did you read that too yeah no i just put two and two together because of the way he's shown in the audience and then like the way he walks away and like the

varsity is just kind of behind him it does look like it's like the minnesota miracle man spirit is the building the theory the theory was that bombay died in between two and three um i think it was like yeah or or or bombay died after the um when they get into the school like right after that opening scene but there's like there's like there's four four ish there's a handful of scenes throughout the movie where other and the the what they do what their theory was is that bombay died and then charlie is imagining um bomb whenever bombay shows up in the alarm scene i guess it kind of well that's that's their main that's their main the main um thing for them is the the alarm scene because he acts like a bombay acts like a ghost in that scene because he's just like fucking

popping up everywhere and you know he's not making any noise your alarm yeah um but there's like four there's a handful of scenes where bombay interacts with other people besides charlie and that like throws the theory off and they they mentioned that but it's an interesting theory um that he's he was dead and the way they show him in the last the last two um things you know when he's standing in the when charlie sees him in the stands and then when he yeah when he's walking in front of Varsity, it's very, you know. Yeah, but Charlie says, you know, this is for Hans. He would have said this is for Hans in Bombay.

Well, the theory is he's, Charlie's in denial. Oh, so he's like sixth sensing Bombay. Yeah, he's projecting Bombay because he did he can't he hasn't come to grips with the fact that he died um that's that's a pretty wild theory but the way they shoot it it does kind of make sense it's like it does and he he rarely like i said there's only like a handful like three three maybe four scenes outside of or in the movie where like a spirit guide yeah where where anybody else even interacts with bombay his mom at the beginning what about the board scene though that one yeah that's that's one of the scenes yeah that one is where he's a person right and like that's

or is he you know whatever but uh but anyway back to hans hans being dead dead hans um where you have the the norwegian uh uh hand to the ice right there to pay homage to the departed friend and mentor i don't know how close you you looked to this you were looking at their little um circle of hand of a hand of the touching the ice um did you you looked to this you were looking at their little um circle of hand of a hand of the touching the ice um did you pay attention to it at all because um goldberg was not touching the ice he couldn't bend over far enough to touch the ice and then be nice to goldberg wait hold on can i ask you an inappropriate question? Oh, my gosh. Here we go. Do you think if you were playing hockey when your mom died,

you guys would have done a touch the ice and then you would have won the big game? No, I think it would have gone like Bombay's original one where the coach would have been like, do this for your dead fucking mom. And then I would have missed the shot. That's what would have happened. Would have been more of a Coach Riley Bombay situation. So Brandon, your mom just died. If you miss this shot, you're really going to let her down. And then sail it into the stands.

I just thought there's there's no there's no way i would have made uh the rest of the team touch the ice for my dead mom that's insane that's so main character energy i would never have done that oh man i'm i'm sorry i I thought you'd enjoy that. Get branded some dead mom motivation. Yeah, it would have definitely, it would have been Coach Riley's scenario for sure. Okay. All right. Well, let me get my,

collect my thoughts here real quick. That was good stuff. Okay. All right. Well, let me get my, get my, collect my thoughts here real quick. Cause that. Ooh, that was good stuff. Goldberg does. He's like, he doesn't touch the ice. I thought that was very weird. Dude, like it's Goldberg. Be nice. What if he falls over? Like he's just, it's hard. Go down, go down, go down on a knee and touch the ice.

What if he's not graceful enough to get up off that knee? He's just simply put. Go down on a knee and touch the ice. What if he's not graceful enough to get up off that knee? Well, he's been skating well. He's on defense now. You know, he's skating. You know, I would think he could at least go down on a knee. I don't know. It just, it was weird seeing everybody touch the ice, except for Goldberg and his tiny little arms.

Couldn't get there. Well, you just seem to cut Goldberg some slack, Brandon. I never, never. I know, I know, and it's too bad. But you know what, Brandon? We get the crowd. Wait, hold on. This is my Brandon thing that I got stuck on really quick

is before Coach O'Ryan says like, on three, quack, did you see that they already had merch printed in the stands? I assumed that what, wait, which specifically are you talking about? Because I saw a bunch of stuff. Behind them, there's two people wearing crewnecks, orange crewnecks, and it says, go freshman ducks. ducks okay i did not see those i saw a bunch there's a bunch of mighty ducks merch in the stands i figured that was just people had bought

it for you know they bought the team merch and they were like let's wear it for the the original ducks um they had a custom go freshman does itucks orange crew. Could you see who it was? Hated that they were orange. No, it wasn't anyone. It was just extras. It might have been like a homemade, you know? Yeah, that's all I'm saying is, did you see it? And it was awesome.

But like they were already trying to get orange there later. You just said you hated it. Now you're like, it's awesome. Well, I hate that it's orange, but it's fun that they already had go freshman ducks had to have been somebody's parent or sister i say if it's orange yeah it's definitely homemade because why would their colors aren't orange it's it's uh they were red yellow and black for that switch to orange like well they don't they don't switch to orange it's the colors are always red yellow and black even when they uh spoiler alert even when they drop the uh the eaten whole duck banner it's still red yellow and orange or red yellow and black there's

no orange well i'm just saying um i did not see that though i saw a bunch of um um just ducks just ducks gear and i did there i do want to point out let's talk about the the people the people in the stands because i got some notes here about the stands um how do you have notes about the stands it's chaos the first thing i want to the first thing i want to bring up is it shows casey a bunch right yeah um and she is in the stands just yucking it up. And the kid, I don't know if you noticed the kid next to her. No. The kid sitting next to her looked so much like Banks that it threw me off.

And I was like, is that his little brother? Is that Banks' little brother? Did you really get stuck on that? They have the same fucking haircut. And I was like is that me is that his little brother is that banks his little brother? Did you really get stuck on that they have the same fucking haircut they look exactly the same dude That could not have been unintentional I'm gonna have to watch it back before the cakey's again Um, but then there was that there was like and then there was a bunch of people in like there's there's a couple Like Mighty Ducks starter jackets I saw on the

crowd. Ooh, jealous of those, especially right behind the announcer guy. There was a, there was a pretty sweet, I don't know if it was a starter specifically, but it was like that style of,

of puffy jacket. And then, uh, next to, uh, next to the, what's, what's the girl's name?

What's, what's, uh, Charlie's girlfriend's name. Uh, Linda, Linda next to Linda was, uh's the girl's name? What's, what's Charlie's girlfriend's name? Linda. Linda. Next to Linda was.

The band instructor. The hot music teacher that we were talking about. Yeah. Just wanted to point that out again. She was, she was really enjoying not to rap. I don't want to spoil it. We'll talk about it then. Oh, it is.

The, the jacket right behind the announcer is 100 a starter jacket i was looking at it right now and i can see the starter logo on the on the sleeve there so that's amazing confirmation a deck starter jacket oh i see okay i see well i do so i see the sweatshirts uh the crewnecks is that orange that might just be like a real faded red it says go fresh oh okay like the eden hall colors and it just may and it's just like it's like weird in the lighting yeah and like the closest red crewneck they could get because you know crew necks are usually a little faded. They're not like super bright.

Yeah. So I think, I think it's still red, but yeah, the lighting was throwing it off, but now, now, now I see what you're talking about.

The, it's not a bad, I mean, if it was a bad design. Yeah. Screen print quality looks pretty, pretty spot on, you know?

Yeah. Brandon. I do. So I do, I do i do to go back to go back to the names here because and the stands the stands from a like i mean from a like 2024 um post um redskins kind of mindset here. The stands are bananas.

Not only do they do the brave chop in a couple of... I don't think they do it in this game, but they do the brave tomahawk chop in earlier games. And then, if you look at some of the stands, they have the foam tomahawks. Then they also have a foam

headdress that a couple of these kids are fucking wearing nice yes it's uh like and in the 90s that was just that's what that's why would you not have that but now looking at it from the braves and the redskins probably all had stuff like that oh the braves the braves still do they still have the foam tomahawks. They do the chop. Even the Chiefs do the chop too. The Braves did go through a spell where they were trying to minimize the chop. And they did it in one of the funniest ways that I remember, like trying to like dispel people from doing it because the fans just like started on their own out of nowhere and when it was a couple years ago before before they last or before 2021

when they last won the world series whenever the fans would like break into the tomahawk shop the dj would play a song that had like an opposite beat to it just to like throw it off yeah um they tried that for a couple years it did not discourage people i thought it was fucking hilarious um but then they that's amazing they gave they gave up and they just let people do it now which you know whatever but um but no the foam headdress was throwing me off when they would i would show a kid with there's like it it shows so many of them it was crazy i mean the fact that i even show a kid with there's like it shows so many of them it was crazy i mean the fact that i even noticed the crew now there's even there's even a girl now that i'm looking at it there's a girl who has like a homemade headdress that she's wearing

and she's got like crazy uh like earrings on it's just uh it's wild man to like look back they're just they're they're sure sure are supporting their school brandon i guess you know but um but yeah it's it's time time to kick off brandon because we are quacking and it's time for the ducks to go and we're ignoring the crowd because for some reason it's bothering you and we wasn't bothering me it was just uh it was just wild you know you know just to see all that again you know yeah yeah uh but we get when we get the face off brand and we get some terrible banks trash talk again and we gotta we need banks to work on this trash talk because he's i didn't even notice what he said what he

said well he doesn't say anything. Rick says, you're going to wish like hell you stuck with us. And banks just says, save the trash talk. Okay. You did miss, uh,

there's a couple of lines, um, before the quack on the bench. Well, there's a, the line from Wilson. Yeah. When coach of Ryan is like,

all right, let's go hunt for goose eggs. Yeah. And then right before that, right before it cuts to the Ducks bench, it shows the Warriors bench. And it's got Coach Wilson. That's right. They don't belong on our ice. They don't belong in our school.

Now, let's show them why. Let's go, gentlemen. Yeah. Especially, you know, get them out of our schools. Get them back on the wrong side of the tracks. Yeah, I actually put my notes. Varsity coach goes full Coach Riley on his team. Not full.

Pretty close. Not full. Pretty close, Brandon. He starts reiterating what Cole's been saying the whole time, where he's like you know I was expecting Russ to like pop his head over the bench and be like hey who doesn't belong here

you know yeah go back to California got something to say to me and Luis huh yeah oh geez yeah but anyways he's racist is what I'm trying to say

I know Brandon I just wasn't gonna oh my god I just wasn't gonna go there with you he didn't let me not go there with you so anyways if I'm going you're coming with me. You know.

You sound like Katniss Everdeen. If I burn, you burn with me. Thank you. Never been compared to Katniss before, but I like it. Well, I mean, if you read the books, she's kind of a dick. She's a super dick. Yeah. She's real selfish and mean to peter and kind of

a hater so if anyone's a hater they're kind of at least near the brandon territory i'll take it yeah the books were way better than the movies the movies i was very disappointed in the first movie isn't bad for a movie based on a book the first movie is the worst one what the the last two movies weren't my favorite no the the best one is the second one the the one on book two what is it uh catching fire right yeah yeah that's the best movie i agree i agree and uh the book is also really good i mean all three books are fantastic. Yeah. I've talked about it a lot, but, you know, Tatiana Maslany does a good job reading. I thought she does a good job.

You know who they should have had to read the book is goddamn Fulton Reed. He's in the movies, for Christ's sake. Yeah, but you need, like, my, one of my biggest pet peeves is when they have a dude narrating a story that's being told from like a girl's perspective that just doesn't make any fucking sense to me that's kind of makes you lose the you know the feel for it you know that's true and yeah that's right i didn't even think about that because those books are specifically told from like her her point of view and half of the books are just her you know internal monologue going yep and like the Mistborn trilogy from Brandon Sanderson good books but the audiobooks it's about a girl and

they have a dude with a gruff voice reading it and it just you know just doesn't sound right if you're gonna have a girl that's gonna be your main character you're gonna have a girl narrate it because it's she's she's gonna be able to bring that voice to life so much better and you know just whoever is recording these books to just you know get a fucking clue yeah girls have to be girls boys have to be boys i get it he's i get it brandon god damn it what is you just i don't know what's going on with you today like are you okay you just came out just with violence all over the place what's to do with you um let's get back to this uh this game though i haven't because i have in my notes okay so the up until we kind of get to the varsity is pressing the ducks brandon they are just well i

was gonna say up until up until the next break here for for part 10 there's uh some incredibly boring hockey that happens whoa whoa whoa whoa i whoa, whoa. I mean, you know, we got, this is defensive hockey, Brandon, number one. You know, we've got the varsity coming out, pressing, big saves by Julie the Cat, toe save by Goldberg, Fulton hitting the change up, Connie cheering people on, you know. And then Rick says to Charlie, why'd you come back? And Charlie says, unfinished business. And then Rick says, oh yeah, well, we'll finish it for you.

And we just have hits and all kinds of stuff. But, you know, Goldberg, I think emerging as a defender and a true leader for the team is probably one of your favorite moments of this part, right? I forget which save it's right after, but there's a save. Play is stopped. He skates up to Julie the cat, and he's giving her some words of encouragement. You're doing great, solid. And she gives the encouragement back to him and then he goes he goes to like you know give her like a uh uh like a shoulder punch

or whatever and it looked like he missed and hit her right in the tit from from what i was looking at and i was i had to like rewind it i was like did he just did he just punch her in the tit geez brandon and he did he he did he missed well i'm geez all right well and then they they almost they almost killed my boy gee well and that's what they are. We got Goldberg, Guy, and Averman clearing out the garbage, no cheap goals. And then the coach rileys it up again, and he says, pick up the hitting now. And then they turn on the dramatic music. Yes, I was just going to say, did you like it?

It felt like it was like a gladiator, you know? Like, they were just like, oh, getting ready for the big kill. Like, they just released a lion. Yes. Yes, exactly. Like, there's some lions and some crazy carts running around there now. And then Josh, shout out Josh. He's like, well, if you can't beat him,

beat him is the messaging the coach is sending because the varsity is really nailing the ducks now. MVP performance, Brandon. You need to get over it. He's no Bob. No way. You need to give Josh his flowers, Brandon, because he is coming into his own on

that microphone and he is on top of it he knows all the ins and outs in the back end drama you know from talking to people at school he just he's had a lot of context here do you think he did a better job than rich eisen absolutely that's why rich eisen was so weird because it's like these are little kids why do you know all their business but josh of course knows all their business because he's goes to school with him that's true yeah so anyways um so everyone is just getting crushed but then we get averman who really gets crushed on the glass brandon and we get cuckoo bells as he falls cuckoo cuckoo and he kind of like falls down and uh whoa les

averman just got leveled he must be seeing stars and he is brandon because he's like it's pretty up there and uh goldberg's like way to, buddy. And then he goes onto the bench fully concussed is just like, Hey coach, what's up? And then he goes back into the game naturally because it's the nineties and the new coach Riley says, keep hitting them. They'll break. And then Orion says, watch yourself ducks. They're head hunting. I love how, I think it's's i think it's after um they destroy gee and he's like her and orion turns to the other coach like through the bench and he like gives them the yeah what the hell are you doing coach wills like throws his

hands up like what what are you talking about? Yeah. Well, I thought this was America. Oh, man. What did I say? What did I say? It's so good. And we get Josh letting us know Orion sends out Fulton

and their new defensive weapon, Goldberg. A true leader, Brandon. Do you have a defensive weapon, Goldberg. A true leader, Brandon. Do you have a defensive weapon? Yep. And it's named Goldberg. And what do you think about Julie the Cat's crazy save where she gets tripped up from behind and then recovers all the way across the goal?

Julie the Cat. I mean, that was one of the weakest shots I've ever seen in my life you know who loved it the most was the dean because you're skipping past my question though what was the question can you have a defensive weapon

yes give me a real life example of a defensive weapon Greg Goldberg go fuck yourself. Kale McCarr. No, it's not a defensive weapon. It's just a weapon. He's a defensive weapon because he plays defense

and then he weaponizes his shooting by scoring goals. Defensive weapon. It's not... You don't get it. You're not smart enough. You don't get it, Brandon. Because the dean doesn't even give a

shit about Julie the cat's save. He just cares that she's an A student and he proclaims it for the crowd to hear. Unlike you. No, never mind. I said, do you think she's the only A student? But Connie's probably an A student too. Oh, yeah, for sure.

And I bet Kenny and who else? Because Kenny seemed pretty serious about the school work. Julie the Cat, Connie, Kenny. Do you think Guy maybe? I bet he would try but he wouldn't try but he's got he's a solid b yeah he's a solid he's getting some b's in there uh banks banks probably has is an a student as well maybe maybe maybe like really do you think he's sneaking in with an a minus maybe yeah well i mean even if he doesn't get A's you know his dad is just giving him

the business when he gets home. You stupid asshole. God. B+. I guarantee you his dad doesn't give a shit about school. It's all hockey. That's all. Whatever, Brandon. I think his dad does care about school because that's part of getting that scholarship.

He's going to play at the University of Minnesota. He's going to be a golden gopher. That's his dad does care about school because that's part of getting that scholarship. He's going to play at the University of Minnesota. He's going to be a golden gopher. That's his dad's dream. Definitely wouldn't want to play at Minnesota Tech. I can tell you that because they fucking lost last night. Sounds like a lot of projecting we're doing here. Well, I'm a little mad at Minnesota Tech. I'm also a little mad at Bemidji State.

They can go F themselves too. I don't know. Is Bemidji in they can go f themselves too i don't know is bemidji in minnesota or is that michigan i thought bemidji was in minnesota i always forget i get it mixed up well i can tell you this but they didn't cover the spread how's duluth doing it is in bemidji minnesota. Okay. I don't know. I haven't seen them on DraftKings, so they haven't. But I can tell you this, but Bemidji State not covering the spread minus one and a half against an inferior team.

But they played. I can't remember now. I thought they had it. You know who I always liked? It was St. Cloud State. The Huskies. Oh, yeah. Solid program.

I'm in for St. Cloud State. I, of course, got a cheer for Omaha. It's the home state. But I like Maine. The Mavericks, right? Oh, yeah. It's the home state, but I like Maine. It's the Mavericks, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Mavericks. It's good stuff. You know, nothing like some college hockey betting, Brandon. DraftKings put a little boost in there the other day. It was fantastic. Can't forget about DU and Colorado College either. Well, I got Omaha over Colorado College in a little parlay here. You know, not to date. Are there any other Nebraska D1 hockey schools?

Or is it just Omaha? I think D1, not D1. Okay. I think it's just Omaha. Interesting. What a world. Anyways. Anyways, so we are, you know, Orion does screen.

I bet you Banks is, I bet you he's a north dakota kid though oh you think he goes to north dakota yeah what about north dakota state did you just hear that did you hear that yeah what was that yeah that was the dog so your dog's sitting yeah you get their together are they big dogs one of them's like a big uh i think he looks like a lab but he's real skinny and the problem with big dogs is they make big messes and that's my beef oh well the memphis is like the lab looking one he's he's tall and skinny and lanky zero coordination like always fallen you know uh it's really icy so jenkins was having some issues the other day

like so we he's barely he's got uh we've got uh hardwood floors here so he's just sliding across that's what that little scuffle was so fucking sliding across happens to the best of us though yeah uh but anyways brandon they are getting absolutely blown up. Coach Orion is. But they're keeping it. No goals, though. No goals. They're getting blown up, but no goals.

No goals. They're playing some goose egg hockey. They're cleaning up the trash. And then we get your boy, Guy, just absolutely blasted into the boards. And right he's like well blow something ref come on yeah he got he got fucked up yeah and and even then now josh you know he's like oh boy this is getting out of hand gee jermaine just took a vicious check into the boards he's down and he's not getting up and did you hearwayne's words of encouragement? No, what did Dwayne say?

He says, hey there, you'll be all right, partner. There's no way. There's no way Dwayne has ever gotten an A in his life. No, no, he's definitely a B minus C plus student. Actually, no, I take that back back i bet you um i don't even know what you would call it or if whatever whatever course that all those the horses we've seen around campus whatever course or those are involved in he's got an a in that class dwayne's got an n in horse class well i mean as long as snoop dog calls the equestrian well

they're doing that. That's fine. Do you remember that from the Olympics when Snoop does that? And the horse is grip walking. But Dwayne has severe horse girl energy. Jeez. I mean, he kind of does. Yeah. Have you seen the videos?

There's like the competition in Europe where like the girls ride the fake horses and they do competitions. Have you seen those videos? That is wild. That just like people, could you imagine like going in, like you're from like the fifties and you're like just living life and then you get sent to 2024. And that's one of the first videos you see is just some, some crazy girls riding fake horses, doing tricks. Dude,

I guarantee you that that's that stuff started in the fifties, fake horses. Oh, we think so. Okay. Oh yeah. That's I mean, they got some good,

they got some verticals. I got to jump over those, those things. You know what I mean? Like there's gotta they got some verticals, they gotta jump over those things, you know what I mean? Like there's gotta be some training that they do they're at least doing squats to be able to get up over those jumps, you know and they kind of do like, if it was like

you know, if they were like rollerblading they kind of do like a heel grab, I feel like when they jump over those, like oh, heel grab it's just aggressive inline walking is all it is, with a little horse thing between your legs grab i feel like when they jump over those like oh he'll grab oh yeah it's just it's just aggressive inline walking is all it is with a little horse thing between your legs inline walking i can crush some aggressive inline walking brandon a little 360 heel grab start uh start training for the uh Olympics. Just me out there

with a bunch of kids. Calm down, Smokey. We got a long day ahead of us. Smokey's not a bad name for a toy horse, but I could probably come up with something better. Smokey's alright. Smokey's more of a...

Yeah, not really a horse name. I don't know. So, Guy gets destroyed. We have a little more boring hockey, and then we can kind of... That's when the varsity coach is like,

that's hockey. Getting hit in the boards. And then we get kind of. That's when the varsity coach is like, that's hockey. Yep. Hitting the boards. And then we get your favorite, Charlie, on a breakaway and just barely gets beat by the buzzer. Classic spaz way is what I wrote in my notes. And then Josh says, I thought this was really funny, Kazika. He says, you wonder how long the freshman can take this bounding.

It's a great question. Not much longer, Heath. Not much longer. No, no. That's a bend-don't-break defense, and they're about to break. Yep. They've been bending over too much. That's why they're taking the bounding.

Did you but that's that's that's did you notice that the d3 cover is the first one that doesn't have the kids blowing the bubbles on the front oh yeah yeah it's because we're not kids anymore heath we're in high school oh grow up i just i just noticed that though like you you know what would have been real funny is like if it would have been like the cover and it would have just been bombay blowing the bumble bubble this time that would have been super weird considering he's hardly in the movie no well i mean now it's just a big mask with him he's still on the cover he's it looks like he's hardly in the movie no well i mean now it's just a big mask with him he's still on the cover he's looks like he's the coach on the cover well yeah he's yeah

he's first building you know duck season opens october is that him that's what it says yeah are you sure yeah too small there's a zoomed in picture of it down a little bit further and it's very clearly Bombay oh yeah it is oh yeah I don't know I hope they don't do anything ducky for a while after the game changers

he's not he's not that tall well they probably gave him those shoes that short actors wear. Are you looking at the zoomed in cover? His legs look fine. His torso is not that long, though. That looks like an elongated torso they got going.

They stretched him? Yeah. Anyways, it would have been funnier if he would have been blowing a little bubble because he's really small in it. Right. There is a bubble. Where?

Right. There is a bubble. Oh, my God. Charlie's got. Is that there is a Luis? It's one of the decks. They are blowing a bubble just to the left of Bombay. Yeah, he's blowing a fucking bubble.

All right. It is in his in his the left of Bombay. Yeah, he's blowing a fucking bubble. All right. In his cage. That's crazy. Yeah, well, that's what Goldberg's doing in the first one. That always, yeah. Well, that's his goalie cage. But yeah, shit, I didn't even realize yeah fucking

shout out to them I thought the third one was the last one that they didn't but they had a secret one in there oh yeah they got me yeah what a journey we've been on Brandon it's the end of the second period and we are we're holding on brandon and then you know it's the end of the second period and we are

we're holding on we're hunting goose eggs did you see in d2 their bubbles are touching that's weird yeah that's really unsanitary yeah yeah but yeah that's everything else to say with part nine did we even give the second frame that we did this on I don't think nobody nobody cares they're just yeah when we ended at the 130 mark

yeah or it's the 130 mark it's uh end of the second period zero zero in the annual varsity jv showdown a real defensive battle 0-0 in the annual Varsity JV showdown. A real defensive battle, Brandon.

Yep. Hutting goose eggs, like you said. Yep. Make the first move. Getting up early. Hutting goose eggs. 5 a.m. Hunting warrior eggs. Right? What do you think a warrior egg would look like

like a fetus probably oh my god Jesus like a warrior egg is something you would collect in a video game right like that's in it that feels very Assassin's Creed This podcast is created for you.