The Cake Eaters - 98. TMNT: Mutant Mayhem

Episode Date: December 3, 2024

Heath & Brandon are finally talking TMNT and Heath is not happy, as they go over 2023's Mutant Mayhem. The boys talk through the absolute disrespect shown to April and Splinter, the elite soundtrack, Ice Cube's direct attack on Brandon, Heath's Donatello vibes, and Heath explains why this movie shouldn't be included in the wider TMNT universe. Follow us on Instagram @thecakeeaterspod Email us at [e-mail]

It's not worth winning if you can't win them! They're the world's most fearsome fighting team We're really hit They're heroes in a half shell And they're green Hey, get a grip When the evil shredder attacks These turtle boys don't cut him no slack Hey, Teen mutant ninja turtles Teenage mutant ninja turtles Splinter taught them to be ninja teens He's a radical rat

Leonardo leads, Donatello does machines That's a fact, Jack Raphael is cool but rude Gimme a break, Michelangelo is a party dude, party! What a banger. Top five, top five theme song of all time, easy. This and DuckTales. DuckTales, yeah.

Solid one, two punch, you know? No, even two. Yeah, it's just, my God, they don't make the intros to the cartoons like they used to. No, they definitely don't. What, unlike this movie that you forced me to watch that I hated, I literally, Brandon, I literally stopped this movie the first time I watched it,

20 minutes in, because I was like, you know what? As much as I want to just like attempt to give this a try, I would rather do anything else with my time right now. And then you made me rewatch it and it's the same argument I'll have until the day I die. You made me watch it for some stupid fucking game changer shit that is not even acknowledged by Disney as ducks lexicon. And I'm so, I just, ugh, ugh. This is the Cake Eaters podcast, everybody. That's Heath. My name is Brandon. We are talking Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Mutant Mayhem from what? 2023? Yeah. Um, and like he said,

the reason we're doing this is game changer is related our boy Evan Brady noon is the voice of a Raphael Rude raff You know what I was thinking the whole time What is it? How dumb it was how You, uh, you get some real Donatello vibes going. Me? Yeah. I've never, cause I, Brandon, did you not listen to the entrance song? Have, have I ever done machines?

I'm not talking about that. I'm talking skill wise. I'm talking, you know, vibe, aura, or you skill wise. I'm talking vibe, aura. Aura, you got a real Donatello aura about you. Boy, Brandon, I don't know if I agree with that. I just, I don't know if I agree with the Donatello aura. That's so Donatello, you do. That's, I just, Donatello is much too technically savvy throughout every Ninja Turtles for me to be him.

This doesn't count. I do not acknowledge this Ninja Turtles as a part of the universe. It's rough. It's real rough. They fucking did. They did splinter so dirty. Oh, don't even get me started at how I hated that. That's a massive splinter is lame. I hate splinter. This is so stupid. What is going on in this movie is 85% of the movie for splinters to do something

cool. What the fuck was the milking thing? Like what, what? I mean, he did turn out to be right. No, Brandon, stop. That was the dumbest thing that I've ever seen in my whole life. Ice Cube being Superfly, like, there's so many, there's so many racist. I couldn't like, you know what I mean? Like it was like, it was like the most stereotypical thing.

It was like, that's just how Ice Cube talks. Oh my God. Like if you cast Ice Cube as like a voice actor, you're not getting like a different voice. You're getting Ice Cube's voice. If you know. I, I, I hated the way they portrayed Baxter Stockman. I hated that. Um, do we just, I mean, I have no, like,

do you have anything? I only have one positive thing to say about the movie. Otherwise. What's your positive? So the one positive thing to say about the movie. What's your positive? So the one positive thing is, I believe Michelangelo says it, and he says, Guy Fieri seems like a fun guy, and I've always wanted to go to Flavortown.

Boy, join the club, my friend. I would just soak up a one-way ticket to Flavortown, Brandon. I would wanna be co-mayor with my, my boy guy. Something, something so good, he could put it on a flip-flop. I don't like so good. You could put it on a flip-flop. I didn't like how that sounded. Co-mayor of flavor town. Now you'd soak up a one way ticket.

Oh, sorry. Oh geez, Brandon, you're the worst. It doesn't, I just let me enjoy this one nice thing. Don't soak up anything. That's a terrible visual. I love diners, drive-ins and dives. It's great. Triple D, baby. Triple D, the Friday all-day marathon of Triple D on Food Network. Name a better time.

Name a better time than just throwing that on, just enjoying some, you know, and then looking them up for like some of the older ones. Cause it's like, Oh boy, there's no way this place is still in business. Like, you know, most of them aren't cause they're dives, right? Like it's, it's, um, but my God, mama D big Mike, big fans of the triple D, not because of them. It's like, it's like how big Mike became a Packers fan because I became such a big Packers fan, they tolerate triple D because I'm like, you know, it's because I drug them to like every triple D place when they came.

Cause it was just fun. You know, I hit up a, a bunch of the triple D places in Atlanta. Did you ever hit any of those? No, cause we were there during COVID. So there was, it was a very COVID Atlanta. There was a, there's a couple of really good breakfast spots that had I hit up all that were from triple D's. And then there was one right by, uh, Danny's place in, uh, in Smyrna. It was like a it was a Japanese place. They

had sushi and like chicken katsu and all kinds of stuff. But they had they were on Triple D. And when you walked in, they had a I think they had like a signed like assigned frame of Guy Fieri. Um, that place was fucking delicious though. It was so good. Um, I think my dad's actual favorite triple D places here. Um, cause Sam's number three big Mike that is a, cause he could get, what is their massive, it was like a 12 egg omelet with every meat. And then he could get a massive milkshake to go with it. Oh, it's just, it is just so up his alley.

It's not even funny. Sounds like a rough morning. Yeah. But that's, you know, he, he, he understands and lives with the consequences of his actions. Good for him. Yeah. You know, you know, so you, Guy Fieri was your, your positive.

One of the lines actually, I have a few positives. One is when they are, they're coming back from Ferris Bueller and Leo tells Splinter, I think it's Donatello that says, oh, way to rat us out. And fucking Splinter goes, hey, don't use that. Don't use that word like that. That was a great one. Or,

Well, you know how I feel about Ferris Bueller, Brandon. And so as soon as that, as soon as that popped up, I was like, oh, these, these fucking ass, they would have the Ninja Turtles look up to Ferris Bueller. Get that. And then like Leo being love struck, get the fuck out of here. And it's just, God, dude, that's the dumbest. I fucking hated it so much. And April being a loser. Oh my God. Get that shit out of here.

You girl. I fucking hated it. I hated it. You know what else really bothered me? It was like, these people were like, hey, so Spider-Man killed it with Miles Morales, fucking killed it. Let's do the shittiest version humanly possible with the turtles. That's what they, that's what this movie was.

The whole time I was like, this is like, if someone was like, man, Seth Rogen, actually, now that I'm looking it up and Mr. Beast, Mr. Beast is in this. So that explains a lot as well. Um, and they were like, Hey, Hey, guys, uh, co-wrote it though, for sure. Yeah. So Seth Rogen was like, Hey, let me make the shittiest fucking version of Heath's childhood thing to just go along with all the shittiest versions of our childhood favorites that have

come out. Like I just, cause it doesn't matter. I just, I fucking hated Swinner. I fucking hated April. I hated all the turtles and their personalities because it didn't match the tail as old as time like don't fuck with like the personalities and then you know what bothers me the most to Brandon is like they come out with movies like this and everyone's like No, no, thank you. It fucking sucks. And then the movie theaters like now We're not putting out the shitty movies

The fans are just shitty now and so because they don't like the shitty products that we're shoving down their throat. And I just, I hate them all, Brandon. I wish that I could just, I wish that people would just fully. Go again. Like if, if a movie like this came out, I wish that there would just be a strike against the studio for the rest of the years. Like, you know what?

Nope. No matter how good the movies are, you're pumping out after this, this, this will not stand. I can't do it anymore. But okay. I just, I fucking hate it, Brandon. I hate everything about this movie. It was nothing good.

You're taking it as like a personal attack because there was a scene in this movie that was a direct fucking shot across my bow, a direct personal attack. Do you know what I'm talking about? No. I think it's in the bowling alley when Superfly is talking about killing all the humans or taking some of them in as slaves and making them be entertainment.

And he goes, we could do redheaded shows or fat booty boy races and I was like that is a direct attack At me that was that was not subtle at all ice cube. I see you The old actually sorry the only good takeaway from this movie was like it did have a good soundtrack Sounds like dude the the no diggity fight montage that was elite So the soundtrack if it wasn't for the soundtrack, I might have just put it on mute Did you uh, what were your thoughts on I believe was Donatello's ringtone that was the ninja rap And it would have been funny if I didn't hate this movie so much before it.

Like if it wouldn't have done so many things to turn me away, that would have been the one thing that would have been like, oh, okay, that's kind of funny. I was like, no, fuck you. Quit trying to like, don't nod back to the originals. If you just completely go against the fucking personalities and you make April a loser in school. You make Leo a lovesick loser. You make Raph not cool and rude. You just make him a loser. Donatello is double loser and Michelangelo is supposed to be hip and cool. But like, why is Don, why is Michelangelo seem like he is in sixth grade while

everyone else is like an actual teenager in high school? Like I just, I just, I fucking hated it. It all. He did sign up for the improv class. I hated the whale. Hated bebop. And do you want to, can I, do you want me to just go through, do you have anything else to say or do you just want me to rip on all the things that I hate it?

All right. So what did I, I hated that like splinter had human hair, even though he was a rat the whole time, hated that, hated. Um, Oh, I already went on the April being a loser. Like that just- That one doesn't make any sense to me. That's weird. Why was she a loser?

That doesn't make any fucking sense. Like April was always awesome. Like she was always so cool. Anyways, it doesn't like, anyways, it doesn't matter. I hated that. The milking thing, hated it. Like I don't understand who it was for. I don't understand the joke.

I don't understand where it came from. Like even like the punchline to it, it was like, Hey, we need this like really funny joke that we think is really funny to pay off. So we're going to make it pay off in what we think is the funniest way possible. It was the dumbest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. I hate as soon as they were hooked up to the machines, I was like, Oh my God, they're going to just, and they spent godless amount of minutes on the stupid fucking milking shit.

That was just dumb. It was so fucking dumb. Clearly you've never been milked before. God damn it, Brandon. Don't... Coming from, speaking from a lot of privilege over there. Oh my God. I hated Lovesick Leo. Did I say that?

Leo is a leader. Oh God. I just, I hated that. Hated the movie in general. I put that down in my notes. I hated the Barb Sella thing. Hated it beyond belief. Hated that so much. Hated the bad guy. Like I wish I hated that all the characters that they pick were like the shittiest way to design them in this like artistic way. Like I feel like this is a really cool median for like comic books.

The animation style was amazing. The animation style is great. And it was like, it was like, Hey, when is this stupidest fucking way we can depict these characters from the cartoon? And boy, they knocked it out of the park. Every single one, every single side character. When is the stupidest fucking way we can depict these characters from the cartoon? And boy, they knocked it out of the park. Every single one. Every single side character. I hated every single one of them. I hated that all the bad guys like turn the corner and they were like reclamation projects.

Bebop and Rocksteady. Bebop and fucking Rocksteady became good guys at the end. Get the fuck out of here with that shit. That was so stupid. I hated the whale. I hated the whale more than anything could have ever been hated. Like that was the dumbest fucking thing that could have come from like the end of the movie. Uh, once again, Hey Bob and Rocksteady all the way through all the the zoo animals, like when he pops up in the zoo

and they all like morph in, that was weird as fuck. Hated that, hated the end in general, I actually put that. I was like, I hated everything as soon as I thought this movie was ending. And then I hated that the movie got extended as soon as they missed the ooze hole on the back of the whale and the movie got extended for 15 as they missed the ooze hole on the back of the whale and the movie got extended for 15 minutes. I was furious, Brandon. I was like, God fucking damn it. They

couldn't have just ended it. You know, um, I hated that the turtles got blamed, um, when for all the problems when there was obviously the biggest fucking whale with a whole bunch of animals attached to it doing the destroying. Are you just fucking stupid or blind? Like that was the dumbest thing I've ever seen. I hated the fact that they wanted it to be a touchy feeling and that was the worst. I felt just that was so dumb. I hated the splinter cockroach makeout thing. Like what the fuck was that? And why did it look so weird? I hated the symbolic shedding of the masks at the end of the movie for them to go join high school. They're massive fucking turtles.

Like- It looked so weird without the masks. I, I, I hated this movie more than anything and I ended this. I wish it would have ended with them getting bullied in high school. All of them, because if April is a loser, then they're all losers too. I just, I hated it all Brandon. That's just, I, anyways, that was, that was, that was my notes.

Um, speaking of the, the masks and then being giant, giant fucking turtles. Anyways, that was that was that was my notes Speaking of the the masks and then being giant giant fucking turtles Do turtles have ears Oh, I don't know I don't know the science of it Oh, so I hated the fact that they were shoplifters. They they stole their groceries They didn't even like put acknowledged that theyters. They, they stole their groceries. They didn't even like put, acknowledge that they left. They literally were basically foot clan light breaking into delivery trucks, stealing chip deliveries. Like get them. My God, they were bad guys. Shipping containers too. They were all in the fucking place.

They were breaking into shipping containers. That's how they started the movie with the, with the turtles stealing their wares. Their wares. By the way, turtles do have ears. I Googled it. They do. I just hated this movie so much. As soon as you said it, don't you remember when you said, I was like, oh my God, I hated that movie so much, I turned it off. And this made me appreciate Terminal 2,

or not Terminal 2, what's it called? Turbulence 2. Turbulence 2. Yeah. What? This makes me wish they had made a Terminal 2 with Tom Hanks. That's how much I hated this movie.

It made me wishing for a sequel to terminal. But I actually don't mind that movie. It's one of those weird movies that for some reason it just that and like, yes, man, that's like certain movies that aren't very good that I just kind of like. This is not one of them. This is just stupid. It's not, I hated it. It was, it was not great.

It was not great. There's a million different, it was just, it was, I think what bothers me the most is that it, like I said, it was just, it was like, they were like, Hey, this miles Morales thing, they're onto something. This is really cool. And it's really hitting with the audiences. Let's do the turtles. And then you're like, yes.

And then it's like, but let's make it one of the shittiest versions of the turtles that you could possibly imagine. And you know, like I am an old school cartoon stand, Brandon. I use my, you know, like I am an old school cartoon Stan Brandon. I use my, you know, like delay your shipping with Amazon video credits that you get, if you like delay your shipment by like three days, you know what I mean?

And I have multiple of the seasons of the OG cartoon. Love putting it on the background for Sunday morning cartoons while I'm cleaning. Fantastic. And this is just an appalling, terrible dung heap of a version of the turtles. It makes, it makes me appreciate what they tried to do with good burger too. Oh, that's crazy. That you appreciate good burger too.

Yes. That's how mad I was at this movie because it just, it blatantly put the middle finger at something that is awesome. That's fair. Ninja Turtles are awesome. Ninja Turtles have always been awesome. This, the OG cartoons, the toys that were out, like I had the Baxter Stockman,

like toy with like the ooze thing that came with like slime that you could like open up the canister of ooze and you could dump the slime down onto your Baxter Stockman toy. Like it was awesome. It was the best. And then Baxter Stockman toy. Like it was awesome. It was the best. And then they do shit like this. And it just makes me hate people.

Like I've always appreciated Seth Rogan for his movies that he made when I was in college. But now, like just because you're bored and don't know what to do, like don't make shitty versions of things that we like. Like do it with something else. Like do it with something that's maybe, like maybe they do Voltron, right?

Like maybe they do like this with Voltron and it's, you know, it's not quite as prevalent. So if they do a shitty version of it, most people can't reference like the standard of what it means to be those characters. I don't know. Whatever. It's fine. It's just dumb, Brandon. This is a movie that just represents everything I've hated about Hollywood for the last four years. Yeah, it's definitely not good.

I don't think, did you expect me to just go through any viscerate this movie and I was hoping you would, it has a 7.2 rating on IMDB. Yeah. Cause people are stupid, Brandon. Like that's the public. When is it? Like when does the public ever, it doesn't matter. It's, it's a bunch of kids that don't know what good looks like. And this is the problem. This is my biggest problem with it, Brandon, is that there's a whole generation of youths out there

that are going to walk away and be like, hey, have you seen the Ninja Turtles? This is awesome. Look at this really cool depiction of them. No, it is just littered with falsehoods. Just damn it. Go watch the old cartoons. There's a method to it.

And even some of the ones where like, oh my God, like with Krang and the Technodrome, and then like the kids from like the outer space that come in. Oh my God. It's fucking fantastic. Trying to think if they're ever my favorite old episode is like I got, I got, I was in the, I had the burger king kids club. And so I got the Ninja turtles burger king kids club, like the one episode cartoon VHS tape. Okay. And so I got the Ninja Turtles Burger King Kids Club,

like the one episode cartoon VHS tape. Okay. Oh my God, Brandon. It was the one where Donatello and Rocksteady get beamed up to the alien ship by their kid cause he wants to play with them. And yeah, you know, all the chaos that ensues is Shredder tries to steal the weapon.

And you know, at first they think the turtle, it's just like this, right? Where at first they're like, oh, the turtles are the bad guys. And then they're like, no, Shredder is a bad guy. But anyways, and they, I don't know, it's fine. They made Baxter Stockman into like crying, but it doesn't matter. I just. I was trying to think, cause you, you, you brought up the you brought up that Bebop and Rocksteady, good guys at the end, which yeah, I agree made no fucking sense because you would think that they

would be trying to turn this into like a series, right? That they're going to make a sequel. I don't know if they are. I haven't heard any rumblings that they are because I- They're better not be. Even though it has a 7.2 on IMDB I remember when it came out it not being liked It made money though. The budget was like 70 million and it made 180 So it definitely made money. I don't understand the rotten tomato scores. Like what is what does high mean? It's good Rotten tomato. Yeah. Yeah. The percentage. Do you not,

do you not know how percentages are? No, cause like I always like if the tomatoes are rotten, you wouldn't want very many rotten tomatoes, right? Cause I thought that it's throw. It's not so, um, we don't have to get into it. It doesn't matter. I just, it got good ratings. I don't know why I knew everything about it. The higher the percentage, the better the tomato,

lower the percentage, the more rotten it is. Right. Does that make sense to you? Yeah, it makes sense, but the rating doesn't make sense. Is it 90 fucking five on Rotten Tomatoes? Yeah. Am I looking at the right thing? Yeah. And that's why it doesn't make any sense because it is not good. And then like, if you look at like the audience rating summary, it's... Where's the... Well, the audience is 95, right? Or is that a... It's a three and a half half But like this is skewed by kids that don't know any better

No Also, okay, so the popcorn meter Is the audience score? So that's 90% and then the tomato meter is the critic score 95% That's insane. It is not that good. No, this is anyone. This is why I don't fit in with society anymore. This is, this is just, this makes perfect sense that like, of course, the general public is so vehemently behind this movie because it's terrible. This is where I check out. This is where I become a hermit officially, Brandon. You've heard it here first. The general public's feeling about this movie is,

this is it, this is over. I'm done, I'm done with society. Finally. Yeah, it's, we've been on the cusp for a while, but this is what finally puts me over the cliff, is this is the general public's positive response to this dog shit sandwich is why we are failing as a country. They locked up the fish sticks, man. Locked up the fish sticks. Because this is such a great fucking fish sticks.

Anyways, this might be the fastest episode we had because I don't have anything out like I, the whole time we watched it, I was like, I was like, I will give this just, I will give it a shot. Let me, let me do a little cooking while I started, you know, um, just so I'm, I'm, I'm wanting to be full, well fan fired up, you know, for it. And I was just like, you know, what, how long is it? Hour and 39 minutes of absolute trash after trash. It is, it is not good. It is, um, like you said, they make the changes they make to the source material are weird and unnecessary. They don't make it like, yeah, like making April a loser. That's the worst one. And then splinter. And then like, it doesn't make any fucking sense. Why was it like, like, there was a disservice to Jackie Chan

making the Splinter that stupid. Yeah, if Jackie Chan asked Splinter it should have been fucking amazing and it was lame as hell. Yeah, he came off as just a worry war. He's supposed to be a sensei. Name one sensei that acts like that. It did.

It did make me want to, um, by Carrie Lee's guide to self-defense though. Is that a real thing? I wonder if it's a good thing if it is a binary. So that reminded me of a Rex Kwan Do from Napoleon dynamite. Think anyone's going to take a run at me with the wearing these bound boys. Forget about it. That's it. That's what that video reminded me.

I got to look up to see if that's a real thing. I got to buy it. Jerry Lee's going to self-defense. Yeah, it's, it was, it was the, the, the fan. Listen, I will say this to our users like do me a favor Ignore the ratings ignore the fanfare. This is the worst movie you could ever say this movie makes The third Ninja Turtles movie where they travel back in time and become turtle samurais where they travel back in time and become turtle samurais look like a fucking

Oscar worthy work of art, like the second coming of the Godfather. That's what this movie makes that third Ninja Turtles movie look like. So don't watch it. We, we watched it for you. Ignore it. Maybe write it really in a strongly worded letter. It really is like the, I don't know, I'll say it even though I haven't seen every single piece of turtle media, but it is, it's, it's definitely the worst. Like all the, the, the eighties, nineties movies, those aren't great movies at all, but there's so much better than this. This was just, it was boring.

It was for only being in what, 90 minutes, 90 plus minutes, it goes on forever. Yeah. It's so slow and plotting and it's just- It tries so hard to be funny again. Like they try so hard to be funny. It's one of those things, cause they rely very heavily on

like pop culture references and stuff. In 10 years, this is gonna be so dated. People are gonna be like, what the fuck are they talking about? I just envision Seth Rogen surrounded by a room of just toting yes men going, yeah, we should have them like being milked as like the main thing of the movie. With this stupid fucking laugh. Your Seth Rogen sounds more like Kel from Keenan and Kel.

Well, either way, I, that's what I envision as this movie was made. Just, just, Toadies just being like, Oh my gosh, Seth, that's so funny. Like, oh yeah, we should definitely make milking turtles as like the primary story arc between Splinter and the boys and the bad guys. It's a good idea.

How else are you really funny? How else are you going to get their blood? You could just, do you just take their blood? Like every other bad guy. How do you take, how do you take blood though? You don't milk blood out of people. Brandon. What is an Ivy? If not a milker? It's the same fucking process, man. Brandon. You trying to get me riled up by justifying the milking storyline is not gonna work.

I'm not gonna allow it. It's dumb. I will say when Splinter got to the facility and he saw that the machine was a milking machine. I legitimately laughed at that conversation when he was like, is that a fuck? Is that a milk? That the ratted out line and then what was it?

Fuck, there's another there's another one that had me had me laughing out loud. I forget what it is though. But, um, yeah, it's this movie. It's, it's very long. It's very boring. It's there's yeah. Like you said, it's the worst of the, the turtle franchise. If you want, if you need Ninja Turtle stuff, go watch anything else. Anything. Anything. Go play the video game. Go watch anything else. Anything. Anything. Go play the video game. Yeah. It's, I think the first two, and it doesn't matter. The first two seasons I think are on Paramount Plus.

You know? Like go watch those. The original trilogy dips in and out of the streaming services. Like- It's probably on Paramount. I think Paramount owns the Turtles thing. But sometimes, sometimes HBO and and get them as well.

Like they dip in and it is all of them. This movie is both on prime and so. Two ways to not watch it. Yes. Although I will I will say, go on YouTube and find the fight scene with No Diggity playing in the background. That's the best scene in the movie. The fight scene with No Diggity is legit. It's just...

Shitty turtles version of Miles Morales. Can you sing No Diggity for us? Oh boy, yeah. Do a, do a, um, Shutta get down good lord. There you go, keep going. I can't, Brandon. I don't have it in me. No Diggity is an amazing song. Oh my God, listen. It might be top 20 all time. No, no diggity. No diggity is an amazing song.

Oh my God. It might be, it might be top 20 all time. When that song came out and that video hit MTV, like Heidi and I were just like, my God, this is what music genius looks like. It's so good. I would say it's the top 20 song of all time. You know what's another amazing song

that they also have at the end is, uh, can I kick it? That's a top five song ever. Can I kick it? Yeah. For sure. For sure. I mean, you know, I, a tribe called quest, that's their greatest. I mean, that's it. That's a solid greatest hit CD. Like that's one of my favorite greatest hit CDs that I've ever had was the Tribe Called Quest one. I mean, it's just banger after banger. Oh, even their normal albums are banger after banger.

Even their, their, um, the, you know, the, the quote unquote filler songs, bangers, dude. Yep. Yep. So that was the only saving grace of this whole movie was soundtrack. Everything else sucked. Um, yeah. Sing some ninja rap for us. And this on a high note. Sing some ninja rap for us. All right.

I can, I can put ninja ninja rap, ninja ninja rap. Go, go, go, go ninja. Oh wait. Go ninja, go ninja, go ninja, go ninja, go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja go ninja Gonna rock the town without being seen. Have you ever seen the turtle get down, slamming, jamming to the new swing and swing sound? Oh my god. Vanilla is here with the new Jack Groove. Gonna rock and roll this place with the power of the Ninja Turtle Bass. Iceman, you know what? I'm not playing.

Devastate the show while the turtles are saying, I'm not playing, devastate the show while the turtles are saying, ninja, ninja, rap, ninja, ninja, rap, go, go, go, go, go, ninja, go, ninja, go, go, ninja, go, ninja, go, go, ninja, go, ninja, go. Like when they are doing the dance and they're trying to put the little donut things in their mouths, oh my God. What a fight scene.

You're talking about a fight scene, Brandon, the fight scene of the club with Toka and Razor and the Ninja Turtles with vanilla ice throwing down in the background with the ninja rap. Oh shit. Heath. What? They're making a sequel. I'm not watching it.

They're making a sequel. I'm not watching it. It has a tentative 2026 release date so far, but nothing. I don't even think they finished writing it yet, but. And. Yeah, I hated this movie, Brandon, but on the on a positive note, the Ninja Turtles are awesome, but just go fine. Did you hate this more than 2014? I hated 2014. The one with Megan Fox.

Those were not good, but I liked those better than this one because they at least stayed true to the characters. Right? Like, wow, I didn't care much for the movies because they're just like, to me, those movies were just like, it's like, hey, let's grab Megan Fox and make a shittier version of the Transformers movies. That's a, yeah, so it was like a,

It's like a bad movie. Was Michael Bay involved at all? Because he was, yeah. I think so. It was, I don't think he was. Maybe he wasn't, it felt a bad movie. Was Michael Bay involved at all? Cause yeah, I think so. I don't think he was. Maybe it wasn't, it felt like it, right? It was like, it was, it was very much a ripoff of Michael Bay for sure. It literally was like, hey, let's make the Ninja Turtles

version of these Transformers movies and let's even bring in Megan Fox. But at least- I do like Megan Fox though. Megan Fox is cool. Megan Fox's April O'Neil like Megan, Megan Fox is April, O'Neill being hot and awesome. That makes sense. The Ninja Turtles all stuck to their personalities in those movies, Bebop and Rocksteady while I hated the character choices in those

movies of Bebop and Rocksteady. Guess what? They were bad guys that stayed bad guys being bad guys, you know, like everyone stayed true to the characters. So while poorly done, I give it a pass because they at least stayed true to the content. Was that a trilogy? Did they make three of those fucking things? They made two.

Two, okay. Yeah. Yeah. The first one was moderately good and the second one was a disaster. See, I had no business getting a sequel either. No. Yeah.

There's Charles, man. What a world. Yeah, I mean, this might be one of our shorter episodes, but it's just because I don't really have anything, like I've said all my pieces, it's just all negative things that I didn't like about the movie. And I kind of am mad at Seth Rogen for making it,

if I'm being honest. Yeah, it's not good. It's bad, but it's not so, it's not so bad and ridiculous that there's stuff to talk about, you know, it was just really boring. It took way too long, even though it was only 90 fucking minutes. Um, and then, yeah, the splinter in the April shade was just too much to forgive. Yeah. And it was, like I said, it was just miles Morales.

They were just like, wow, let's, let's make a worse version of this. They definitely with great content. It's like, let's take this really great content and do as bad a job as possible. Yeah. They definitely were, were riding the coattails of that for sure. So anyways, do you want me to go first on my cake rating? Cause mine's easy. Yeah.

I give this movie 0 to five cakes for the soundtrack It is down there with worst of the games It's worse than buddy games. They're the second one at least the first one. I think he gave a negative 300. Yeah Kind of hate those movies, but this is up there with Buddy Games. This is right. This is right. We need a Ninja Turtles Buddy Games crossover episode.

That's what we need. My God. So imagine imagine what's his name? Dale. Imagine Dale out here. I'm in trouble with the turtles. Dude, stop. I'm not mine's not going to be much better.. I'm gonna give it a 1.25. Um, yeah, cuz it's not good at all. Um, there's no redeeming quality. There's no redeeming moments in time. I would never watch this again. Good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's pretty much all there is. It's gonna be a very short episode.

Because the movie sucked. Yeah. Flat out. Straight up, dog. I was straight up not having a good time, yo. So you