The Catechism in a Year (with Fr. Mike Schmitz) - Day 224: The Grace of the Sacrament of Marriage (2025)

Episode Date: August 12, 2025

The grace of the Sacrament of Marriage provides husbands and wives the strength to love one another with supernatural, tender, and fruitful love. Fr. Mike covers the characteristics of the marriage bond and the different roles of husbands and wives. He explains what it means to “be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.” We also learn that indissolubility, faithfulness, and openness to fertility are requirements of conjugal love. Today’s readings are Catechism paragraphs 1638-1645. This episode has been found to be in conformity with the Catechism by the Institute on the Catechism, under the Subcommittee on the Catechism, USCCB. For the complete reading plan, visit ascensionpress.com/ciy Please note: The Catechism of the Catholic Church contains adult themes that may not be suitable for children - parental discretion is advised.

Hi, my name is Father Mike Schmitz, and you're listening to the Catechism in a Year podcast, where we encounter God's plan of sheer goodness for us, revealed in scripture, and passed down through the tradition of the Catholic faith. The Catechism in a year is brought to you by ascension. In 365 days, we'll read through the Catechism of the Catholic Church, discovering our identity in God's family as we journeyed together toward our heavenly home. This is day 224. We're reading paragraphs 1638 to 1645. As always, I'm my name. using the Ascension edition of the Catechism, which includes a foundation of faith approach, but you can follow along with any recent version of the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

You can also download your own catechism into your reading plan by visiting ascensionpress.com slash CIY. Lastly, you can click follow or subscribe in your podcast app for daily updates and daily notifications. Today is day 224. Today we're going to talk about the effects of the sacrament of matrimony. Remember, there's always this section in these seven sacraments where it's what are the effects of the sacrament. So what are the effects of baptism? What does it actually do? What are the effects of confirmation? What does it actually do? What does reconciliation do? So today we're going to talk

about what are the effects of the sacrament of matrimony. We're going to talk about the marriage bond, the grace of the sacrament of matrimony. What is that grace? And also these kind of important paragraphs 1643 to 1645, what are the goods and requirements of conjugal love? They were just going to dip into the first three paragraphs there, the goods and requirements of conjugal love. And so we're going to talk about all of those today in order to prepare our hearts for big topics, personal topics, topics that are close to our hearts. We always need to ask God's grace. We always need to ask for the grace and the help of the Holy Spirit to be able to say yes to the Lord. So let's pray right now. Father in heaven, we give you thanks in the name of your son, Jesus Christ,

and praying in the power of the Holy Spirit. We ask that you please hear our prayer, receive our hearts, open our hearts, and heal our hearts. Lord God, there's so much in our lives that causes so much noise, so many things in our lives that can be helpful distractions and so many things in our lives that can be unhelpful or even destructive distractions. Now, God, we ask you to please clear out those destructive distractions, those things that take us away from what you want us to hear, those things that take us away from what it is that you want us to do. Lord God, we ask you to please take away from our hearts all things that could rob our hearts from from love of you and love of our neighbor.

Take away from our lives, all those things that could steal our hearts from you and could cool our hearts from love of neighbor. Lord, I ask you on this day to please strengthen all of those couples that have been called to the sacrament of matrimony, please strengthen them in their love for each other, strengthen them in their love for you,

all those couples right now in this very moment that are struggling in their marriage, struggling in their vocation. We ask you to please give them the grace, of patience, give them the grace of mercy, give them the grace of perseverance, and give them the grace of hope, remind them that their story is not over yet, and that there are miles to go, but they don't have to walk them alone. Lord, God, be with this entire community in this moment. Open our hearts and fill them with your strength. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. In the name of the Father and of the Son

and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. It is day 224. We're reading paragraphs 1638 to 1645. The effects of the sacrament of matrimony. From a valid marriage arises a bond between the spouses, which by its very nature is perpetual and exclusive. Furthermore, in a Christian marriage, the spouses are strengthened and, as it were, consecrated for the duties and the dignity of their state by a special sacrament. The marriage bond. The consent by which the spouses mutually give and receive one another is sealed by God himself. From their covenant arises an institution, confirmed by the divine law, even in the eyes of society.

The covenant between the spouses is integrated into God's covenant with man. Authentic married love is caught up into divine love. Thus, the marriage bond has been established by God himself in such a way that a marriage concluded and consummated between baptized persons can never be. be dissolved. This bond, which results from the free human act of the spouses and their consummation of the marriage, is a reality, henceforth irrevocable, and gives rise to a covenant guaranteed by God's fidelity. The Church does not have the power to contravene this disposition of divine wisdom. The grace of the sacrament of matrimony By reason of their state in life and of their order, Christian spouses have their own special

gifts in the people of God. This grace proper to the sacrament of matrimony is intended to perfect the couple's love and to strengthen their indissoluble unity. By this grace, they help one another to attain holiness in their married life, and in welcoming and educating their children. Christ is the source of this grace. Just as of old, God encountered his people with a covenant of love and fidelity, so our Savior, the spouse of the church, now encounters Christian spouses through the sacrament of matrimony. Christ dwells with them, gives them the strength to take up their crosses and so follow him, to rise again after they have fallen, to forgive one another, to bear one another's burdens, to be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ, and to love one another

with supernatural, tender, and fruitful love. In the joys of their love and family life, he gives them here on earth a foretaste of the wedding feast of the lamb. As Turtulian once wrote, How can I ever express the happiness of a marriage joined by the church, strengthened by an offering, sealed by a blessing, announced by angels, and ratified by the Father? How wonderful the bond between two believers, now one in hope, one in desire, one in discipline, one in the same service. They are both children of one father and servants of the same master, undivided in spirit and flesh, truly two in one flesh, where the flesh is one, one of one.

also is the Spirit. The goods and requirements of conjugal love. Conjugal love involves a totality in which all the elements of the person enter, appeal of the body and instinct, power of feeling and affectivity, aspiration of the spirit and of will. It aims at a deeply personal unity, a unity that, beyond union in one flesh, leads to forming one heart and soul. It demands indissolubility and faithfulness in definitive mutual giving, and it is open to fertility. In a word, it is a question of the normal characteristics of all natural conjugal love,

but with a new significance which not only purifies and strengthens them, but raises them to the extent of making them the expression of specifically Christian values. The unity and indissolubility of marriage. The love of the spouses requires, of its very nature, the unity and indissolubility of the spouse's community of persons, which embraces their

entire life, so they are no longer two but one flesh. They are called to grow continually in their communion through day-to-day fidelity to their marriage promise of total mutual self-giving. This human communion is confirmed, purified, and completed by the communion in Jesus Christ, given through the sacrament of matrimony. It is deepened by lives of the common faith and by the Eucharist received together. The unity of marriage, distinctly recognized by our Lord, is made clear in the equal personal dignity which must be accorded to man and wife

in mutual and unreserved affection. Polygamy is contrary to conjugal love, which is undivided and exclusive. Okay, there we have it, paragraphs 1638 to 1645. Wow, there's so much beauty here, and there's so much goodness, but also we recognize there's so much challenge. here as well. So from the very beginning here, 1638, from a valid marriage, there's a bond that's one of

the effects of sacrament matrimony. There's a bond between the spouses, which by its very nature is perpetual and exclusive, right? It goes on and on and on. It goes last until death, perpetual, and it's exclusive. It is a bond that is only between the husband and wife. That's why the very, very last note of this section in paragraph 1645, the very last line talks about how polygamy is contrary to conjugal love, which is undivided and exclusive. So it starts out by talking about, yes, it is perpetual and exclusive. And it ends by saying it is undivided and exclusive. Very, very important for all of us. Going on to say, furthermore, in a Christian marriage, the spouses are strengthened. And as it were consecrated for the duties and the dignity of their state by a special sacrament. So we recognize that marriage

on its own, it's not just a piece paper. It's not just a declaration of love. Although you get a piece paper and you've declared your love. Those things exist. What is that? it is a special sacrament instituted by Christ that gives grace. By that very sacrament, you have the grace to do what? It says in 1642 that Jesus is the source of this grace, but he dwells in them and does what, gives them the strength to take up their crosses and so follow him. Remember, this is a sacrament of discipleship, it's a sacrament of following after Jesus. It's a sacrament of service, a vocation. Okay. So what does Jesus call us to do? It says if you want to be my disciple, deny yourself, pick up your cross, and follow me. And so every person,

every couples who's entered into a sacrament of matrimony, Christ dwells in them and gives them the strength to take up their crosses and follow him, which is amazing. But also, we recognize that we don't do it perfectly, so it goes on to say in 1642, to rise again after they have fallen, to forgive one another, to bear one another's burdens, also to be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. I want to talk about that in a second, to love one another with supernatural, tender, and fruitful love. This is the grace of the sacrament. This is the effects of the sacrament. You have a special strength, a special strength that comes from Jesus to take up your cross and follow Jesus, to rise again after you've fallen, to forgive one another, to bear one another's

burdens, to be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ, and also to love one another with a supernatural, tender, and fruitful love, which is a high call. It's what I'm saying. This gift is also a challenge. This grace also means that you're going to have to do things that are impossible for humans on their own, right? Impossible for us to do on our own. Yes, marriage exists on the natural order, but we're talking about the supernatural order

of grace. Everyone who's listening to this, who has been married, you know that it requires supernatural grace to be able to every day say yes to every day take up your cross to every day rise again after you've fallen to every day forgive one another and that that call again is is so huge and that call as we know is so important now at the same time there is this call to be subject to one another out of reverence for christ that comes from st paul's letter to the ephesians chapter five and you know it's so interesting it's fascinating whenever you read St. Paul's letter to the Ephesians, specifically chapter 5, sometimes people kind of cringe

where it says, wives be submissive to your husbands and everything out of reverence for Christ. And there can be some elbows that are in the pews. There can be some eye rolls. There can be some hesitation in this. In that sense of like, okay, what is it in us that hesitates when it says wives submit to your husbands and everything as to the Lord? What is it that's happening? Actually, not just what's happening in us, but what do we think St. Paul is saying when he says, wives, submit to your husbands in all things as to the Lord. Well, a couple of things. There is a recovery in some ways, I think, of this notion that here is the husband who is the head of the family, and here is the wife who's invited to, in fact, as you might say, commanded to, submit to

her husband. What does that really mean? Well, I love the fact that the catechism quotes the beginning of St. Paul's letter to Ephesians chapter 5, verse 20, this section is verse 21, where he says, actually the whole section begins with St. Paul saying, be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. So submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. So husbands and wives both mutually have this mutual call for submission. And what is submission? What is it to submit? Well, it's to place yourself under the mission of the other person. And so this is why this is so important. This is why from the outside, it can look very hostile, it can look like tyranny. From the inside, hopefully, hopefully from the inside, it makes sense. Why? because I will never submit myself. I will never put myself under the mission of someone I don't trust, right? I would never put myself under the mission of someone that I don't share their vision for the world. I don't share their mission.

So St. Paul writing to spouses saying, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, have this mutual submission. It has, I think, at its basis, a mutual trust first. I mean, honestly, from the outside, if you were to say, hey, submit to one another out of reverence Christ or from the outside, wives, be submissive to your husbands and all things as to the Lord. Like, wait a second, whoa, that sounds way out of line. But from the inside, when you know, I was talking to a couple about this just the other day. And the bride was just like, yeah, I, you know, I really want to submit to my future husband.

I got to really, but she said, but it seems so interesting because I have some Catholic family, some Catholic friends who they have this idea that he has to always lead and I have to be kind of like a little church mouse kind of a situation. Like, okay, that's not what scripture is saying here. That's not the invitation or the picture that the catechism is even painting right here. The picture it's painting is one of mutual submission. So basically, I would say it like this, is you submit to the other person because you place yourself under their mission, because you trust their mission, because you trust them. But beyond that, you know, it's so interesting because again and again, you have a lot of Catholics who maybe or some other Christians who will say that, no, the husband, the father's the head of the house.

He's the leader. He's called to lead. and so I'd say okay yeah that's that's right and that is again recovering a biblical view of what of marriage but then they stop there they stop thinking in Christian terms they stop thinking in biblical terms and think okay so if the husband is the head of the house that means that he's in charge that means that what he says goes that means that he makes the big decisions that means that he all you go down the line he's like wait a second wait a second wait a second you're just appealing to a Christian vision of what it means to be a husband okay he's the leader that

the head of the house. But then you stop on the Christian vision of what it is to lead. The Christian vision for a husband and wife is the head of the home, right? Okay, head of the family. He's the leader. But then we have to also have what is the Christian vision for what it is to be the head. What is the Christian vision for what it is to lead? Jesus is the head of the church. He leads, right? What does it look like to be the head as Jesus? What does it look like to lead as Jesus? Is that dominating? Is that being served? Is that being weighted upon hand and foot? Is that being the, okay, you guys, everyone stand back. Dad's here. I'm making all the decisions. I'm in charge now. No, no, no, no. The head, our head, Jesus Christ, he races to the bottom, right? His leadership

is how can I be of service? That's all it is. He leads by laying down. He leads by laying down his life. He doesn't lead by saying, okay, you do this and you do that and you do this. He doesn't lead by being the CEO of the family. This is so important for us because for too many, gosh, I don't know what to be on a rant right now, but too many Catholics, too many Christians have again, embrace this biblical idea that the father is the head of the household, but they've forgotten to also embrace the biblical idea of what it is to be the head. To be the head is to be the crucified one. To be the head is the one who lays down his life. To be the head is the head is the one, as I said, who races to the bottom and serves from the bottom. Jesus Christ said,

Son of man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many. Okay, so that's the big question. Fathers, husbands. Are you willing to be the head? Are you willing to do that? Because that's, if we want to keep talking about St. Paul's letter to the Ephesians, chapter 5, he does say that. St. Paul says, yes, wives submit to your husbands in all things as to the Lord husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church gave himself for her handing himself over for her that's the call right there the call is how do I lead okay well from the bottom how do I lead from the cross that makes sense and that's a high call that is so high that it's I don't think we're able to do that without the grace that comes from Jesus so praise the Lord that

Paragraph 1641 and 1642 exists Because by the reason of the state and life in their order Christian spouses have their own special gifts in the people of God And this grace proper to the sacrament of matrimony Is intended to perfect the couple's love To let them love even more and more like Jesus Christ No, I'm talking a lot about the father here I'm talking a lot about the husband here

I haven't mentioned anything about the wife But what is it to follow To follow is not to be like the bride said To be that mouse Like okay but let's go back to this what is the image of the body of Christ? The body of Christ is active. So the head of the church, right, is active and serves.

He lays down his life for his body, for his bride, the church. And the church does what? The church is in constant relationship with our head. We're in constant relationship with our bridegroom. The bride, the church is in constant relationship with Jesus Christ. And there's this back and forth. The church, would you ever describe the church as a mouse? We understand the church as being this, you know, kind of small, ineffective,

lacking in power, lacking in strength, lacking in responsibility, lacking in the strength to move forward and bring the kingdom of God into the world. No. And in so many ways, right, what Jesus is the bridegroom. The church is the bride. The husband is the bridegroom. The wife is the bride. And neither of them are diminished by marriage.

They both have the roles and the roles are complementary and their roles go back and forth. They're dynamic. And no one in this relationship is the mouse. No one in this relationship is the weak one. But they're a couple equal in dignity. And given the source of grace, Jesus Christ himself, hopefully this makes sense. The last thing I'm going to talk about. I know here I am going on another rant. Paragraph 1643 talks about conjugal love. So love of husband and wife in the sexual embrace. It requires a number of aspects. And these aspects is that, you know, appeal of the body and instinct, power of feeling and affectivity, aspiration of spirit and will.

So everything from the bodily attraction to the aspiration of spirit and will, this is so good, incredible, beautiful. But also, it aims at a unity. The unity is that demands indissolubility and faithfulness in the definitive mutual giving, and it's open to fertility. So there's these, we call them the four marks of God's love. we'll talk about these eventually again, but for marks of God's love. God's love is always free, total, faithful, and fruitful. God enters into a covenant with us. It's always free. He's never coerced

into it. And that's one of the reasons why that free acts, that free promise of love for each other is necessary for matrimony. It's free. It's total. It is definitive self-giving. I give you my whole self. It is faithful, you and none other. And it is fruitful. It is open to life. into fertility. And so if a marriage has aspects that are impeding this or working against us or if the couple does not intend these four things, they aren't entering into marriage. It has to be free, total, faithful, and fruitful, at least an openness to all four of those things. That's required for the sacrament of matrimony. Okay, you guys, I feel like I've talked a lot today. And so I kind of talk a lot every day, don't I? Oh man, but here we are. Again, tomorrow we're going to talk about the

fidelity of conjugal love, that aspect of fidelity. And we're going to talk about the openness to fertility, all those aspects, as well as the domestic church and days to come. Like, what is it to raise a family? Well, it's to form a little house church, a little domestic church. And so in the days to come, we'll be walking into that. But today, I am praying for you. Please pray for me. My name is Father Mike. I cannot wait to see you tomorrow. God bless. Thank you.