The Catechism in a Year (with Fr. Mike Schmitz) - Day 287: The Gratitude of Children (2025)

Episode Date: October 14, 2025

Gratitude is the proper response of children toward their parents. Out of this gratitude comes respect. When we are children at home, this respect includes “true docility and obedience.” Fr. Mike emphasizes respect for parents doesn’t expire when we leave home as adults. Grown children are responsible for caring for and supporting their parents in their old age. As Fr. Mike stresses, this can be the simple but often overlooked phone call to mom or dad. Today’s readings are Catechism paragraphs 2214-2220. This episode has been found to be in conformity with the Catechism by the Institute on the Catechism, under the Subcommittee on the Catechism, USCCB. For the complete reading plan, visit ascensionpress.com/ciy Please note: The Catechism of the Catholic Church contains adult themes that may not be suitable for children - parental discretion is advised.

Hi, my name is Father Mike Schmitz, and you're listening to The Catechism in a Year podcast, where we encounter God's plan of sheer goodness for us, revealed in scripture, and passed down through the tradition of the Catholic faith. The Catechism in a year is brought to you by Ascension. In 365 days, we'll read through the Catechism of the Catholic Church, discovering our identity and God's family as we journey together toward our heavenly home. This is day 287. We are reading paragraphs 2214 to 2220, which is a fun number. I don't know why, but it's fun. 2-2-0. As always, I am using the Ascension edition of the Catechism, which includes the foundations of faith approach, but you can follow along with any recent version of the Catechism of the Catholic Church. You can also download

your own catechism in a year reading plan by visiting ascensionpress.com slash CIY, and you can click follow or subscribe in your podcast app for daily updates. Daily notifications today. Day 287, we're continuing to talk about the Fourth Commandment and the ways in which the family is not only just essential, but how do we live in the family? And so tomorrow we'll talk about the duties of parents toward their children, but today we're talking paragraph 20 to 14 to 2220, about the duties of children. We said this many times. We will continue to say it. We belong to each other. And in almost, in very rare exceptions, the most critical place, the original place where we belong to each other is in the family. And so every child has a mom and a dad somewhere. And so what are

the duties of children to their parents, particularly when it comes to this Fourth Commandment. We're looking at that today, and it's just really remarkable because it's not just about children to their parents, but also grown children, adult children to their parents. What do we talk about when we're talking about that? What do we need to pay attention to when we're paying attention to that? So as we launch into paragraphs 2214 to 2220, let us call upon the Lord, our father. And as his beloved children, his adoptive beloved children, we cry out to him as we pray. in heaven. Thank you. Thank you. In the name of your son, Jesus Christ, receive our thanks,

receive our praise. May you be glorified now and always. Lord God, may you be known. May your fatherhood be known. May your fatherhood be realized in the lives of every single person you've created and redeemed. Lord God, we ask that every person is baptized. We ask that every person comes to know you and come to know your love through Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit. God, bring every person into your family and let there be no person on the face of this earth. who walks, lives another day, walks another step, not knowing that you desire to be their father, that you desire them to be your adopted children in Jesus Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit. Or God, let no person live the rest of their life in fatherlessness, but let all of us live with you as our dad.

In Jesus' name we pray, amen. In the name of the father and of the son and of the Holy Spirit, amen. It is day 287. 2214 to 2220. The duties of family members. The duties of children. The divine fatherhood is the source of human fatherhood. This is the foundation of the honor owed to parents.

The respect of children, whether minors or adults, for their father and mother, is nourished by the natural affection born of the bond uniting them. It is required by God's commandment. Respect for parents, filial piety, derives from gratitude toward those who, by the gift of life, their love and their work, have brought their children into the world and enabled them to grow in stature, wisdom, and grace. The book of Syrac states, with all your heart, honor your father, and do not forget the birth pangs of your mother. Remember that through your parents you were born. What can you give back to them that equals their gift to you? Filial respect is shown by

true docility and obedience. The book of Proverbs states, my son, keep your father's commandment, and forsake not your mother's teaching. When you walk, they will lead you. When you lie down, they will watch over you. And when you awake, they will talk with you. Proverbs further states, A wise son hears his father's instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke. As long as a child lives at home with his parents, the child should obey his parents and all that they ask of him when it is for his good or that of the family. Colossians chapter three states, children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Children, should also obey the reasonable directions of their teachers and all to whom their parents have

entrusted them. But if a child is convinced in conscience that it would be morally wrong to obey a particular order, he must not do so. As they grow up, children should continue to respect their parents. They should anticipate their wishes, willingly seek their advice, and accept their just admonitions. Obedience towards parents ceases with the emancipation of the children not so respect, which is always owed to them. This respect has its roots in the fear of of God, one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit. The Fourth Commandment reminds grown children of their responsibilities toward their parents.

As much as they can, they must give them material and moral support in old age and in times of illness, loneliness, or distress. Jesus recalls this duty of gratitude. The book of Syrac states, For the Lord honored the father above the children, and he confirmed the right of the mother over her sons. Whoever honors his father atones for sins,

and whoever glorifies his mother, is like one who lays up treasure. Whoever honors his father will be gladdened by his own children, and when he prays he will be heard. Whoever glorifies his father will have long life, and whoever obeys the Lord will refresh his mother. Oh, son, help your father in his old age, and do not grieve him as long as he lives. Even if he is lacking in understanding, show forbearance. In all your strength, do not despise him. Whoever forsakes his father is like a blasphemer, and whoever angers his mother is cursed by the Lord. Philial respect promotes harmony in all of family life.

It also concerns relationships between brothers and sisters. Respect toward parents fills the home with light and warmth. Proverbs states, Grandchildren are the crown of the aged. In Ephesians chapter four states, with all humility and meekness, with patience, support one another in charity. For Christians, a special gratitude is due to those

from whom they have received the gift of faith, the grace of baptism, and life in the church. These may include parents, grandparents, other members of the family, pastors, catechists, and other teachers or friends. St. Paul stated in his second letter to Timothy, I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother, Eunice, and now I am sure, dwells in you. Right there we have had paragraphs 2214 to 2220.

Just it's so edifying. I don't know if you find it edifying. I find it really inspiring, convicting, edifying. I find it uplifting at the same time, as I said, convicting. And it's just so good. So let's go back to the beginning, 2214, just to review. Remember, that divine fatherhood is the source of human fatherhood. And this is the foundation of honor owed to parents, right?

Because here is God, who has made himself our father in adopting us in Jesus Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit and baptism. And so all fatherhood flows from God who is the ultimate father. Therefore, the respect of children, whether minors or adults, we're going to talk about that in a second, for their father and their mother is nourished. by the natural affection, the bond uniting them. It is required by God's commandment. It's so good.

Now, in the next couple paragraphs, there's just some key words that might be helpful. And the two keywords in paragraph 2215 and 2216, the key word is gratitude and the next one is obedience. Dacility is another, maybe three words. How about? But in paragraph 2215, respect for parents derives from gratitude toward those who by the gift of their life, their love and their work have brought their children into the world and enabled them to grow in stature, wisdom, and grace. And it's just so incredible. Again,

there's a quote here from the book of Syrac. We ask the question, what can you give back to them, your parents? What can you give back to them that equals their gift to you? Virtually impossible. And yet, we're called to do that, and we're going to talk about that in a second, too. But it arises from a place of gratitude. Now, we recognize, again, all families. Every human being is a dysfunctional human being. Every family is a dysfunctional family. We can function, but we function and brokenly. And I'm not saying that everyone's, you know, rotten to the core. I'm not saying that at all in any way, shape, or form. I'm just saying that we're all imperfect. Therefore, every child of their mom and dad has been an imperfect child. And every parent of their child

has been an imperfect parent. Every husband has been imperfect. Every wife has been imperfect. We're all imperfect. Okay. That being said, there is still so much to be grateful for. I can choose. I can choose to emphasize where my parents have gone wrong. Or I can choose. to remember where they went right. I can choose to point out all of their faults and to and to accuse them. I can choose to hold a grudge or I can choose to note those things, right? I'm not going to be deceived. I'm going to tell the truth. I'm going to be humble. I'm going to tell the truth. And at the same time, acknowledge the death that I owe to them, acknowledge the gratitude that I have for all that they've done for me and all that they've given. Even if they haven't given me

what I wanted, and even if they haven't given me, maybe even what I needed, what they did give is irreplaceable, just to grow in gratitude. Again, that's not to dismiss, obviously, I'm going to say obviously, but I'm just going to say it, make it very clear. That's not to dismiss real pains. That's not to dismiss actual abuse. That's not to dismiss neglect. All those things are in so many people's lives, and they are real. So we're not saying, let's ignore the hard things and only focus on the good things. But let's, let's do both. Let's let's, let's pay attention to the bad things, address them. And let's also pay attention to the good things and be grateful for them. Does that make sense? I mean, again, I'm not trying to, I know that we have a big community

following this catechism. I mean, here on day 287, there's so many of us. And because of that, there's so many stories. Because of that, there's so many wounds. I mean, obviously. And so I don't want to dismiss that in any way, shape, or form, the depth to which there are lives that have been broken by parents. And so, yeah, not dismissing that. I'm just highlighting the fact that even in the midst of this, there's something still to be grateful for. And that's just life. And I'm highlighting this not just because it's the Fourth Commandment and we need to apply that to our parents, but because we need to apply this to life. This life is really, really hard. As you know this, you don't need me to tell you this. Life is really, really hard. There is so much suffering,

not just in the world. There's so much suffering in our lives on a regular basis, even seasons of suffering, or maybe what can feel like a lifetime of suffering, and that's true. We need to address that, acknowledge that, and do something about it at the same time. There is still so much to be grateful for. And so what do we do? We cultivate an attitude of honesty, meaning we acknowledge the good and the bad, and also an attitude of gratitude, where we notice. the good and thank the Lord or thank whoever it is that gave the good or brought the good. So that's paragraph 2215. Next is 2216, full of real respect is shown by true docility and obedience.

And so when we're kids who are beholden to our parents, we owe them obedience. And that's just very, very clear. Forgraph 2217 highlights that. As long as a child lives at home with his parents, the child should obey his parents and all that they ask of him when it is for his good or that of the family. And it goes back to the scriptures. It goes also to say children should obey the reasonable directions of their teachers and all to whom their parents have entrusted them at the same time. And I love this because I can think of, you know, 12 year old me saying, but what if my parents

asked me to rob a bang or what if my teacher asked me to do something, you know, wrong? It goes on to say, but if a child is convinced in conscience that it would be morally wrong to obey a particular order, he must not do so. So the church got ahead of me on that one, which is great. Now, the big question is, what do we do as we grow up? Because I imagine a lot of people listening to the catechism in here right now. Probably a lot of us are emancipated from our families. We're no longer, you know, living under our parents' roof. So how does this commandment still apply to me?

Well, paragraph 2217 goes on to say, as they grow up, children should continue to respect their parents. Case do still our parents respect. They should anticipate their wishes, willingly seek their advice, and accept their just admonitions. It's just remarkable, right? Anticipate their wishes, willingly seek their advice, except they're just admonitions. I think a lot of us, the way in which we live, and this might not be you. Maybe this is just the people I know, maybe the people I've seen and maybe myself, where it's like, okay, so you get to a certain age. Maybe that age is 18, maybe it's 21, 22, somewhere in there.

And at some point, you know, we leave home. And then it's like, okay, every man from themselves. Like, yep, I'm okay. I'm taking care of myself right now. and so now I yeah mom and dad you take care of yourselves I'll take care of myself and we'll just take care of ourselves and the church is envisioning something different the church is envisioning something more beautiful the church is saying essentially remember marriage is the school of love and that school doesn't end when you turn 18 or it doesn't end when you turn 22 or when you leave the house that idea is okay I'm now an adult well how do I have an adult relationship with my mom and dad well I should anticipate their wishes, willingly seek their advice, except they're just eminitions. It goes on to say, but do we have to obey them? I love this, because obedience towards parents, obedience towards parents, this is paragraph 2217, ceases with the emancipation of the children. So you're no longer

bound to obey your parents when you are on your own, basically. Yet, not so respect, that, yes, obedience ceases, but not so respect, which is always owed to them. This respect has its roots in the fear of God, one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Just keep that in mind. That's really remarkable. That sense of, okay, when I'm emancipated, when I'm out of the house, I no longer owe my parents' obedience. Yet I do always owe them the level of respect that belongs to them as parents. Remember, we talked about that a couple days ago. The first level is the respect we owe to anybody because they have dignity. They're made a God's image and likeness. The second level is the respect that's owed to a person because they've served a function. They have a role.

and the third level of respect is the respect I give to someone because they've earned it. And that's really important. So what the church is saying is that we always owe our parents this first and second level of respect. Now, I think this is very, very getting serious here. Paragraph 2218, the Fourth Commandment reminds grown children of their responsibilities toward their parents. And this is just here is what a Christian will do. This is so clear, this is what a Christian will do. as much as they can, so keep that in mind, as much as you can, which means that you might not have

the answers for everything, you might not have the resources for everything, but as much as we can, we must, it says they must, but I want to make it personal, we must give them material and moral support in old age and in times of illness, loneliness, or distress. Jesus recalls this duty of gratitude is so important. Now, we have a long quote from the book of Syrac, and that is, it's just, it is beautiful not only because it offers guidance it also offers promises it also offers directions right so for the lord honored the father above the children and he confirmed the right of the mother over her sons whoever honors his father atones for sins and whoever glorifies his mother is like one who lays up treasure oh amazing is that beautiful whoever glorifies his father will have long life whenever obeys the lord will refresh his mother

He goes on earlier, it says, when he prays, he will be heard. And then here's the next line. This is from Syrac chapter 3 versus 12 and 13 through 13 and verse 16. Oh, son, help your father in his old age. Do not grieve him as long as he lives. Even if he is lacking and understanding, show forbearance. And all your strength, do not despise him. Whoever forsakes his father is like a blasphemer and whoever angers his mother is cursed by the Lord.

It's powerful, so powerful, because why? Because what happens, and we all know this, what happens in old age as we continue to grow is we continue to become less and less independent. We begin to need others more and more. And yet what happens to most of the people who are elderly in our world? They have fewer and fewer people to help them. The more and more they need help, the fewer and fewer people there are to help them. And so remember the principle of subsidiarity is that if I can do that, if I can do that,

help my mom and dad, I'm supposed to help my mom and dad. If my siblings and I can band together and help our parents, then we should band together and help our parents. If we can't, then that's the next step you take, right? Inlist assistance from other people. But the first step is, can I do it? I mean, that's, and again, I'm saying this into the microphone. I'm saying this and I'm so convicted by this. Because, I mean, here's, I just be honest, I live a couple hours away from where my dad is now. And I know when my mom was sick, it was, you know, a couple phone calls. I remember one, at one point, I was at a foundation dinner trying to raise money for the local Catholic school. And I was sitting with my parents and she was like,

how come my kids don't call me on the phone anymore? And she really meant me and my brothers because all the girls are back in town. And I was like, oh, mom, you don't want me to call you, do you? And she's like, it would be nice, you know? And I was like, okay, mom. So I called her in the next couple days, and she didn't answer. I left the voicemail. And then she texted and said something like, I was, you know, I'm sorry. I was so, I'm sorry, I was giving you a hard time about not giving a call. I know you're busy, et cetera. She was so gracious, so gracious. And yet, it's so easy. It's so easy to call. It's so easy to just pick up the phone and call. You know what's easier to do, though? It's even easier to not pick up the phone and call. And yet,

here's our invitation, our command is to reach out, to reach out and to offer whatever it is that we can offer. And I know that there's people in so many grave situations, so many serious situations where it's impossible. It's impossible to take care of your mom and dad. And yet, the question isn't, what can't I do? The first question has to be, what can I do? And we know at some point, right, we know this,

that at some point it runs out. We won't have the chance anymore. We don't have the chance to take care of them, would have the chance to even call them. And so while we can, we must, right? Isn't that just seem reasonable? And again, I'm saying this as someone who's failed to do it so many times. And yet, I'm reminded.

Again, I told you the commandments are going to convict us. And they're going to remind us of the areas in our hearts that are not the Lord's don't belong to the Lord. and maybe they're too selfish or too busy. I can't, you know, I remember hearing a spiritual writer had said this. He said that the greatest spiritual enemy of our time is busyness. The enemy of holiness and our time is busyness. Think about how many times we just haven't loved someone because we were too busy.

And I'm saying this, I'm looking into a mirror, not literally right now, but I haven't loved the people we love the most because just, just too busy and so here's my invitation if you can after you press stop today if you could if you have parents or who are still around give them a call or give them a text make sure you're not driving but just reach out and if you don't if you can't if you can't because they're not around anymore, then maybe reach out to an aunt or uncle or reach out to one of your

siblings. 2219 highlights this that it also concerns the relationships between brothers and sisters. Reach out to someone after this or else this is just head knowledge, right? This is just information transfer, but this is not about that. This is about transformation. And if I've failed to love my parents or my siblings, have failed to love the people around me, then well start again start new we only have right now so let's use it i'm praying for you please pray for me my name is father mike i cannot wait to see you tomorrow god bless