The Catechism in a Year (with Fr. Mike Schmitz) - Day 311: Adultery and Divorce (2025)

Episode Date: November 7, 2025

The Catechism goes into detail about offenses against the dignity of marriage. The two topics we look at are adultery and divorce. These sins against marriage are not isolated between the spouses, but affect others including family, children, and society. With this, Fr. Mike reminds us that we live in a broken world, but God is among us, and he is a merciful Father with the ability to redeem. Today’s readings are Catechism paragraphs 2380-2386. This episode has been found to be in conformity with the Catechism by the Institute on the Catechism, under the Subcommittee on the Catechism, USCCB. For the complete reading plan, visit ascensionpress.com/ciy Please note: The Catechism of the Catholic Church contains adult themes that may not be suitable for children - parental discretion is advised.

Hi, my name is Father Mike Schmitz, and you're listening to the Catechism in a Year podcast, where we encounter God's plan of sheer goodness for us, revealed in scripture, and passed down through the tradition of the Catholic faith. The Catechism in a year is brought to you by Ascension. In 365 days, we'll read through the Catechism of the Catholic Church discovering our identity in God's family as we journey together toward our heavenly home. This is Day 311. We're reading paragraphs 2380 to 2386. As always, I am using the Ascension edition of the Catechism, which includes the foundations of faith approach, but you can follow along with any recent version of the Catechism of the Catholic Church. You can also download your own catechism in a year reading plan by visiting ascensionpress.com slash C.I.

And lastly, you can click follow or subscribe to our podcast app for daily updates and daily notifications. As I said, today is day 311, reading paragraphs 2380 to 2386. You know, we've been talking in the Sixth Amendment for the last number of days. today we are talking about offenses against the dignity of marriage. We recognize that marriage being a great good, marriage being a great gift, and even marriage being something that was elevated by Jesus Christ himself to the status of a sacrament. We recognize that there are ways that marriage can be attacked, the ways that marriage can be wounded, ways that we can offend the dignity of marriage.

The two ways we're talking about today are through the sin of adultery and divorce. And tomorrow we'll talk more about other offenses. against the dignity of marriage. But these two topics, these two ways in which marriage is offended, I guess, for lack of a better phrase, or marriage is attacked, are part of our broken world. And so we recognize that as we talk about these topics, once again, as we talk about all these topics, we are keeping in mind the fact that in this catechism in your community, there are people who have fought. There are people who have fought through the temptation to adultery. There's couples who are listening to this who have been through the reality, the wound of

adultery and have made it through and are still struggling to be faithful to each other, still struggling to trust each other, still struggling to move forward. There are also couples that have said absolutely when it comes to divorce, this is not even a word we're ever going to say, and they have battled through the ups and the downs of marriage. And there are times, of course, where adultery has broken hearts and broken marriages. There are times where we recognize part of this community. Many people in this community have lived through, suffered through divorce and adultery. And so we recognize, of course, that we're always striving for the goal. We're always striving for the good. And at the same time, we are all walking in this broken world, just like these

last few days we've been talking about, whether it comes to yesterday and the gift of a child. It comes to the days before where we talk about faithfulness and fruitfulness in marriage and all the ways in which this gift that God has given us, the gift of human sexuality, has been broken, has been twisted and when it comes to relationships from the very beginning, God made the male and female. And in the very beginning, there was this original holiness. And that original holiness has been broken. That original holiness has been twisted by sin. And so as we find ourselves listening to this and learning more and more about what does the church have to say about these two offenses against marriage, we always remember that our God has entered into our broken world. He is entered

into our broken hearts and he's entered into our broken relationships he has the ability to redeem them to redeem our hearts to redeem this world and to redeem our relationships and so we trust in him as we pray father in heaven we do trust you we and we do know that even in our brokenness you are good and you are still god even when we fail you are still god even when our hopes and our dreams are dashed to pieces. You are still God. And so in this moment, Lord God, we renew our trust in you. We renew our trust that not only have you called us to this moment, you've called us, you will never cease calling us. You will never cease holding on to us. Help us to hold on to you in the midst of our pain, in the midst of our brokenness, in the midst of all the ways that

the goodness you've created is attacked. On this day, Lord God, ask that you please be with every member of this community, of the catechism in your community, be with all of us and give us the grace that we need to get through this day and to get closer to you. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. This is Day 3011. We're reading paragraphs 2380 to 2386. Offenses against the dignity of marriage. Adultery. Adultery refers to marital infidelity. When two partners, of whom at least one is married to another party, have sexual relations, even transient ones, they commit adultery. Christ condemns even adultery of mere desire.

The Sixth Commandment and the New Testament forbid adultery absolutely. The prophets denounce the gravity of adultery, they see it as an image of the sin of idolatry. Adultery is an injustice. He who commits adultery fails in his commitment. He does injury to the science. He does injury to the sign of the covenant which the marriage bond is transgresses the rights of the other spouse and undermines the institution of marriage by breaking the contract on which it is based. He compromises the good of human generation and the welfare of children who need their parents' stable union. Divorce. The Lord Jesus insisted on the original intention of the creator who willed that marriage be indissoluble. He abrogates the accommodations that had slipped into the old law. Between the

baptized, a ratified and consummated marriage cannot be dissolved by any human power or for any reason other than death. The separation of spouses while maintaining the marriage bond can be legitimate in certain cases provided for by canon law. If civil divorce remains the only possible way of ensuring certain legal rights, the care of the children, or the protection of inheritance, it can be tolerated and does not constitute a moral offense. Divorce is a grave offense against the natural law. It claims to break the contract to which the spouses freely consented to live with each other till death. Divorce does injury to the covenant of salvation of which sacramental marriage is the sign. Contracting a new union, even if it is recognized by civil law,

adds to the gravity of the rupture. The remarried spouse is then in a situation of public and permanent adultery. St. Basil stated, if a husband, separated from his wife, approaches another woman, he is an adulterer because he makes that woman commit adultery. And the woman who lives with him is an adulteress because she has drawn another's husband to herself. Divorce is immoral also because it introduces disorder into the family and into society. This disorder brings grave harm to the deserted spouse, to children traumatized by the separation of their parents and often torn between them, and because of its contagious effect, which makes it truly a plague on society. It can happen that one of the spouses is the innocent victim of a divorce

decreed by civil law. This spouse, therefore, has not contravened the moral law. There is a considerable difference between a spouse who has sincerely tried to be faithful to the sacrament of marriage and is unjustly abandoned, and the one who through his own grave fault destroys a canonically valid marriage. Okay, there we have it, paragraph 2380 to 2386. We recognize that, okay, adultery, what does adultery refer to? It is refers to a marital infidelity, right? So sometimes people will broaden out adultery to mean any kind of sexual acting outside of marriage. That's not the case. Adultery specifically speaking means when two partners of whom one is at least married to someone else have sexual relations. So that's strictly speaking that's what

adultery is. So I bring that up because there are some times when someone might go to confession and they will commit the sin of adultery, but they don't, they don't mean that the person, they're single and the person that they had sexual relations with are single as well. They mean like the Sixth Commandment, right? Thou shall not commit adultery. They mean they're violating the Sixth Commandment, not that they've actually strictly speaking committed to adultery. It's important just give a definition.

The definition is marital infidelity. Okay, so we got that down. Now, of course, Jesus in the New Testament, he condemns even adultery of mere desire. And again, this is broad and expanded to any kind of looking with lust on another person, whether they're married or not. The desire to use another person, whether mentally, you're like, right, emotionally or physically, that is, that's use. And we recognize that that's the opposite of love. I don't know if you've ever heard this.

Maybe you have. But I think it was John Paul II who had pointed out, he said, the opposite of love is not hate. He said, the opposite of love is use. That here we are, we're called to recognize in every individual, their personhood. And yet, what does lust drive us to do? lust moves us or drives us to simply use a person or to reduce a person to what they can be for me, right? What I can get out of them. And so a person is never meant to be used, but only loved. Now, obviously, in our daily lives, there's interactions that are utilitarian, right? So you go

to the checkout in the grocery store. And the only reason you're really talking to that person is because they're going to check out your groceries and you're going to pay them and all that stuff. Now, at the same time, though, we are called as Christians. We're called as human beings. But of course, as Catholics, we're called to not merely allow that moment to be utilitarian. We're called in that moment to rise above this simply use of another person. And actually, this human interaction is meant to be a human interaction, truly human interactions. It makes sense. I know we're talking about adultery and divorce today. But the whole core of this comes down to persons are never meant to be used and only meant to be loved. And, and again, when it comes to this, this brokenness we have in our hearts, lust is the desire to use. And so when we have this adultery in one's heart or lust in one's heart, Jesus says at every moment, we are called to see other individuals as persons who are deserving of love. So we have, let's go back to the checkout. We go back to the grocery store. We have self-checkout. And, you know, yes, that is a tool we're using. And you are using this self-checkout.

as a tool, that ought to be qualitatively different than when there's an actual checkout person. Even though that person in this moment is doing virtually the exact same thing as the tool of self-checkout, there is a monumental difference in the human interaction we're having with that person behind the counter versus just the tool, the machine that you check out your groceries with in the same way. Again, this is just expand this to sexual relations, expand this to the desire to use someone sexually. We recognize that every person is meant to be treated as a person. You know, I think it was John Paul II.

When he talked about pornography, and this will come up, I'm sure, in the next couple of days, he said that, you know, and this is actually a quote that's been attributed to John Paul the second, but I don't know if anyone's ever actually tracked down the quote. He said, the problem with pornography is not that it shows too much of the person, but that it reveals too little. In the sense that, not that you should see more. skin but the idea behind this being it actually obscures the person and reduces them to their parts and something again paragraph 2380 and jesus is talking about adultery of mere desire

what's happening is when we have this adultery in our heart or interactions we're reducing a person to the mere parts and this is this is a grave sin obviously in fact it's so grave that the last line in paragraph 2380 says the prophets denounce the gravity of the adultery, they see it as an image of the sin of idolatry. And if you remember the Bible in a year, if you went through that, you remember how many times that that analogy is made between idolatry and adultery because we're called to be faithful to the Lord God and to exchange that faithfulness to the Lord God to belong to anyone else or any other false God that is like adultery because those who are entering have entered into marriage are called to be completely

faithful to their spouse. Okay, we already know this. Now, paragraph 2381 highlights something that I think is very profound. We might have mentioned it a couple days ago, but I think it's worth mentioning again. It says adultery is an injustice. This is not simply a, I mean, quote unquote, simply a sexual sin. Adultery is an injustice.

Here is a person who promised. They made a promise to be faithful to their spouse. And they are now breaking their promise. And that is unjust. It's a sin against justice. Because one made a promise to another, they owe that thing to the other and then what did they promise they promised to be faithful they promised to be permanent they promised to not leave then they think about this again let's go back to this the marriage vows

we talked about this before i'll see it again on someone's wedding day there is no need for them to promise to love the other person that day there's no need for them to promise to be faithful to that person on that day there's no need to promise to be stable and to choose that person on that day you're making the promise on that day because you know the day is going to come when I won't feel like choosing this other person. You know the day is going to come when you won't feel like loving this other person. You know the day is going to come when you will want to be unfaithful. What you're saying on that day is when that day comes, I promise to choose you. When that day comes, I promise to be faithful to you. Adultery is an injustice. It's a sin against this

promise that one made to another. And again, I just, I hate to repeat myself, but sometimes it's worth it, right? There are two men, C.S. Lewis and another man named Sheldon Van Aachen. C.S. Louis helped Sheldon Van Aachen become Christian. Sheldon van Aachen later on became a Catholic. But both of these men have really powerful essays on this reality that we find ourselves in. So, for example, Sheldon Van Aachen has an essay called The False Sanction of Eros. Remember, Aeros is that love of desire, that romantic love, that wants to possess, right? The false sanction of Eros. And C.S. Lewis does this as well, but Sheldon Mnachin, in this essay, the false sanction of Eros, he highlights this. He says that you'll talk to someone. You know, here's Bob. And he's talking about how he loves Sally. And just Sally makes him feel more alive than anyone's ever made him feel in his life. Of course, Bob is currently married to Jane. And but that sense of like, but no, but I feel this new thing with Sally that I never ever felt with Jane. And so what Sheldonan is highlighting is there's this. And again, he has it parenthetically the word false. the false sanction of eros that we can in our culture appeal to well i've never felt this way before

i have this this eros that i feel for sally that i never ever felt for jane or vice versa you know this whole kind of thing and that gives us quote unquote permission and yet we recognize that on a just basic level of yeah but you made a promise that comes undone this sanction that you know quote unquote sanction that eros gives is doesn't matter it doesn't matter it doesn't matter when it's like, yeah, but you made a promise. And so we recognize that to break this promise, to break this bond has a lot of consequences. One, paragraph 2381, it highlights it says he does injury to the sign of the covenant, which marriage is. Remember, marriage is a sign of God's love for us. And so we do injury to that. It goes on to say, transgresses the rights of the other spouse.

That when you made the entry to that promise with this other person, they were given certain rights. and also it undermines the institutional marriage by breaking the contract in which it was based. It goes on to say compromises the good of human generation and the welfare of children who need their parents' stable union. That you said you'd be here and you're still here. Again, that's offended, that trust that you can have in the other or even for children that trust they can have in their parents is violated. when there's adultery or paragraph 2382 when there's divorce again there's there's something

remarkable about the way in which you know our culture has said that you know the idea of no fault divorce or even the idea that divorce doesn't really hurt anybody you know the kids bounce back etc that kind that idea that they'll be okay and you recognize that i think we've discovered that divorce the kind of divorce that we've come to know in our culture doesn't seem to do a lot of help, right? It doesn't seem to do a lot of good. Not only, as it says in 2384, it's a grave offense against the natural law.

It claims to break the contract, even though it can't, right? Because this is a covenant and you can't break a covenant. But also, we recognize that in human development, it does something to children. I mean, at the very least, one of the things that does to children

is it lets them know that, oh, mom and dad can change their mind. Right? And there's that sense of they say they love me now, but I know they can change their mind. And they might say, you know, the moms and dads might say to their kids like, no, this isn't about you. And I get it. And you're trying to make the best of a bad situation. But we realize there are some really serious effects. I mean to say this as a pointing of finger. But this is the reality that we have to look at what does sin do. Sin never stops with us. It always echoes out. Right. There's always consequences of our sins. There's always consequences of our choices. and so I think it's really helpful for us not to condemn ourselves right not to not to listen to the voice of the accuser but to allow our hearts to be convicted and say yeah these are the choices that I made and this is the thing like so here I am who's I've never been married clearly that's kind of that's obvious but we're all called to make promises and we're all called to keep our promises and when we don't there are consequences and I think there's something something just helpful about acknowledging

what are the consequences when I don't keep my promises? What are the consequences when I said I would do one thing and do something else? So paragraph 2385 says divorce is immoral also because it introduces disorder into the family and into society. And so that's one of the consequences. There's this, things are out of order. It goes on to say, this disorder brings grave harm to the deserted spouse. To the children traumatized by the separation of the parents and often torn to between them and because of its contagious effect, which makes it a truly, truly a plague on

society. I know I've worked, as I've said many times, almost two decades with a junior high, high school, middle school, and college age students. And there are a lot of, they're great, great young people, really good. And young people who have become, you know, adults and are doing really well. Sometimes children of divorce and sometimes not, but there's an extra wound. There's an extra wound as a lot of the children of divorce are entering into marriage age themselves. And this wound is kind of this, well, I don't really believe in love. I don't believe that a person can keep their promises. And that's a wound that can be healed.

It can be healed. But again, it's helpful for us to acknowledge, okay, our choices have consequences. And our sins don't end with us. They, as I said, they echo out into our family. They echo out into our friends. They echo out into society. and it's so important for us to just acknowledge this again not as a condemnation but as this conviction of okay what are my choices what are the consequences of my choices where is it that i need to ask for

forgiveness where is it that i need to repent now of course there are times when someone hasn't chosen divorce it was chosen for them and that is divorce is always tragic i think but there are times where here's a person who is saying i'm willing to do anything i'm willing to to fix this i'm willing to work on this and the other party is just like, no, I'm done with this. And keep in mind, paragraph 2386 highlights this. There is a considerable difference between a spouse who has sincerely tried to be faithful to the sacrament marriage and is unjustly abandoned, and one through his own grave fault destroys a canonically valid marriage.

There's a big difference between the, in some ways you say that between the one who left and the one who is left. There's a difference there. And also, you keep in mind, the catechism does highlight the reality that there can be a separation. Like, you know, I know the question comes up all the time, but, but what if this is, like, a violent place? What is this is dangerous? What if, what if they're not only physically in danger? What if they're financially in danger? All these realities. And paragraph 2383 says, yep, that's, that's, can be a legitimate thing. Separation of spouses while maintaining the

marriage bond can be legitimate in certain cases provided for by canon law going on to say, if civil divorce remains the only possible way of ensuring certain legal rights, care of children or the protection of inheritance, it can be tolerated and does not constitute a moral offense. Same time, realizing that in that separation or even in that civil divorce, the couple remains married to each other. That marriage, that covenantal marriage, if it, again, if it was a valid marriage that's been consummated, it's unbreakable. It cannot be broken. The only way it can end is in death. And so, again, there might be cases where someone for safety's sake or for some other serious reason. A couple might need to separate. They are still married to each other. And again,

I know this is very serious, but all of this comes back to the reality that marriage is a sign of the Trinity. Marriage is a sign of the covenant between God and his people. And so because of that, there is this high call to marriage that every married couple is meant to be an icon, an image of the very identity of God to the world, and the very love of God. And the very love of God, between him and the church to the world. It's the high call of marriage and it's a hard call. And again, I know that as we're saying this, many people are in a place of inspiration.

I guess that's what I want. I want to fight against adultery. I want to fight against divorce. I want to fight from my marriage. It's so good. And others maybe find themselves beaten up and kind of in a place of sadness. Because like, oh, I was beaten.

or maybe I walked away. It was my fault. To be able to recognize that and to be able to take that next step, the next step of let me go to confession. Let me stop sinning. Let me turn back to the Lord to allow His grace to renew your heart

and to give you a new hope. That's what we're praying for today. Tomorrow we'll continue to talk about offenses against the dignity of marriage. But today, please know that I am praying for you. Please pray for me. My name is Father Mike. wait to see you tomorrow. God bless.