The Changelog: Software Development, Open Source - Hello, Matworld! (Friends)

Episode Date: April 25, 2025

Join us on a journey to make believe worlds with our good friend Mat Ryer. The assignment; we each get to make up a new world where we invent a new gadget and declare a new rule. This episode is sure to delight loyal fans and especially those who enjoy Mat Ryer on the show and a good/bad song or two.

All right, friends, welcome to ChangeLogin, friends, the weekly talk show about building worlds. Big thank you to our friends over at fly.io. That is the home of changelog.com. Learn more at fly.io. Okay, let's talk. Well friends, it's all about faster builds. Teams with faster builds ship faster and win over the competition. It's just science. And I'm here with Kyle Galbraith, co-founder and

CEO of Depot. Okay, so Kyle, based on the premise that most teams want faster builds, that's probably a truth. If they're using CI provider for their stock configuration or GitHub actions, are they wrong? Are they not getting the fastest builds possible? I would take it a step further and say if you're using any CI provider with just the basic things that they give you, which is if you think about a CI provider, it is in essence a lowest common denominator generic VM. And then you're left to your own devices to essentially configure that VM and

configure your build pipeline. Effectively pushing down to you, the developer, the responsibility of optimizing and making those builds fast. Making them fast, making them secure, making them cost effective, like all pushed down to you. The problem with modern day CI providers is there's still a set of features and a set of capabilities that a CI provider could give a developer that makes their builds more performant out of the box, makes the builds more cost effective out of the box and more secure out of the

box. I think a lot of folks adopt GitHub actions for its ease of implementation and being close to where their source code already lives inside of GitHub. And they do care about build performance and they do put in the work to optimize those builds. But fundamentally, CI providers today don't prioritize performance. Performance is not a top level entity inside of generic CI providers. Yes.

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Again, dep again. Depot.dev I was in a different Dan Tan recently. Where? And it was just a typical Dan Tan. So cool. So cool. But he's not going to tell us where it was. It's too cool. I've seen some amazing downtowns in America.

Traveled. I'm very well traveled. I'm sorry. Downtowns. I'm not familiar. Do you mean Dantans? Dantans. Thank you. Yeah. So I visited lots of them. And there's some really lovely ones in Colorado. There's like proper olden days. Oh, yeah. Probably all over all across the country.

That's right. Where you feel like you're in a Western film. Break that down for me when you say proper and then olden days. What does that mean? Oh it just means like for real olden days. Like the Wild West movies that you've seen. Just break it down. Break it down though. Right so you've got like all the way. There's basically like a lot of dusty area, wooden buildings, wooden buildings, saloon doors, there's a guy in there chewing tobacco. You see any of those, what do you call those things? Tumbleweed?

Tumbleweeds, yeah, not dust bunnies, but tumbleweeds just rolling through. Yeah, well I get a lot of them in my normal life as well. Really? Yeah, just after a joke or a witty remark. Sometimes I'll do a little, little wry little comment, something and then, you know, just silence for a bit. You can hear it blow past. But adds to the effect. I'm thinking about crickets. Yeah, same, same thing. Tumbleweeds and crickets. If you make a joke and no one laughs You can if you listen carefully, you can hear a game of cricket being played

Okay, one of those rare things. Yeah, I would never play cricket. No now here again is a misfire because I'll talk about crickets Which is what you hear when you tell a joke when we laughs? Silence, where'd you go? Matt? Where did you visit here in the States, the state of Colorado? Oh yeah, well I used to live there in Denver and in Boulder. Boulder? Colorado.

Yeah, say Boulder. How do you say Boulder? Well I say Balder. Balder. Say it again. Balder. Can you say Balder-dash? I can say Balder-dash, but I can't,

oh Balder-dash, yeah, but I can't say- Sounds cooler when you say it. I don't think so. To me, you're the cool ones. I- that's why I think we have friendship, because we sound cool to you and you sound cool to us, and it kind of just makes up for our overall lack of- Yeah, I mean, if you sound like me, I would just wouldn't like you, you know? Yeah, but you sound- like Adam, I can't believe someone exists who talks like you at all. That's a thrill for me. Imagine that. It's like being in a movie. It's awesome Adam. I guess so. What is it about his voice?

Is it the malevolent sounds? Is it the words he's using or the combination? Yeah, it's just the whole sort of package really. He is the entire package. Yeah, it's just the whole sort of package really. He is the entire package. Yeah, the whole package. Yeah, I love that. Well, you know, ditto Matt. I mean, I think if we had a world where your voice didn't exist, it would not be Matt's world. No. My world, my voice.

We're getting ahead of ourselves, or perhaps we're trying to get ahead of ourselves because perhaps a world where Jared's in charge, Matt's voice also wouldn't exist. Let's not reveal any spoilers. Matt, you brought a strange idea to us. Yeah, thank you. Actually, you didn't bring it to us today, but you brought it for today. Sure did. Which is what? I'm coming over, here's some toys.

And how did you come up with it and why are we agreeing to it? Well the whining we're agreeing that's on you and I do think whining is should be a word. But you can't just make up words like that can you? People look at you strangely or there's a tumbleweed or something. Let's introduce it whining. What does it break down to mean? Like, is it like when you're thinking about something, that's the process of whining? You're thinking about whining,

it should or should not be a thing. You're whining it, you're like trying to figure it out. Yeah. Yeah, why is that? Yeah, you're whining it. You're thinking about it. It's kind of like howling. Sometimes you howl something. Other times you whine. So you're whining or you're howling. Yeah, you're whining. Sometimes you howl something. Other times you whine. So you're whining or you're howling.

Sometimes you're hooing. Well, if I owned the world, I'd be able to just make these new words anything I like. You know, if someone's eating a sausage, I could say, yeah sausage! Like I could make that socially normal in this world. That one's not that weird. No, it's not. It doesn't have to be weird. It's just what I like tell me this a throwback to your time in Germany Oh, yeah, Berlin when they were all calling you bad names. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I love Berlin Isn't it because you says a mother sausage though when there's something involved yeah, yeah sausage and they said What they say man? Yeah, they're like, oh we don't really we don't want to just be associated with that

We've got a lot going on also Yeah, and that's fair enough didn't some lady call you a donker. Yeah, everyone was saying like thank her. Thank her. Thank her Originally, I thought they were calling me names. Yeah, I didn't know that that just means. Thank you. It does Boy for leaving by thanking you for leaving Well, they're a lot more polite than I was The sausage bit the sausage bit well if you're not tracking you should go back in time and listen to pass shows We can't catch up. Yeah, that's just a call back. That's just too deep in the stack. It is a deep cut. You know overflow Matt there's a strange dichotomy with British people

and you're my best example because I know you probably better than any British person. And that's this politeness juxtaposed with tomfoolery or like just calling names and being mean. So what's up with that? It's like there's like a polite society aspect and a properness. And there's also like this underhanded, I'm going to call you a name. You're not going to realize it's a bad word.

Yes. Well, I think what's really going on is we, there is the politeness thing where if you bump into somebody in the street, you say sorry, even if they've bumped into you. But you're not, you're not really, it's not in the same way that you might say sorry in other places where you're sort of taking responsibility. You're not. You're not. Everyone knows it was their fault. Now they have to also say sorry. And then, and then everything's okay. Just socially, it's the social rule. Sorry might mean like it's your fault and we both know it. Yeah, it's like oh, sorry It's but it's almost like a polite way of just acknowledging some things happen that shouldn't have happened

and you both say it and Then everything's okay, and then you haven't really had to assign blame or anything You can kind of just get sweep it under the carpet. Yeah But if the second person doesn't say the sorry back and it was their fault, that's that's the worst thing that can happen on the street. Or one of them was fighting words,

fighting non words. Kind of, yeah. Although in London, people are from everywhere, so you can never really assume. Right. British person bumps into you and then you say, oh, sorry.

And then they don't say sorry They just look at you or just carry on with their lives They have crossed a line that you assume there are tourists then maybe you know maybe those folks are tourists Maybe and everyone else is Brits and those are the people that say yeah, although in London in London Everyone's from everywhere, so it's kind of like you You can't be from everywhere. You have to be from one place generally. You just walk around being upset then basically. No, you just sort of get on with it, don't you? But then there's the banter side where you

basically try and be, it's a way of making friends as you're sort of mean to strangers sometimes. Right. And if it's friends too, right? Oh, definitely friends. More mean to your friends than you are to strangers. Yeah. Yeah. Which explains why you're not very nice to me very often.

I take it as a compliment, sir. Mm hmm. Yeah, you should do. But you have American friends that are just always just nice to you and just just say nice things like, oh, neat hat, Jared stuff. I mean, I prefer it, but, you know, those people are hard to find. Oh, neat hat, Jared. Neat hard to find. Oh, neat hat Jared. Neat hat Jared. Neat hat Jared.

Thank you sir. I like the word proper, you know, in places I was, I assume it's in the place that the word like good or I'm going to get something nice or the best. It's like real. If it's proper, yeah. It's like, you know, imagine there's like a traditional way of making something Yeah, it's authentic and someone makes it that authentic way You'd be like, oh, that's a proper that's a proper drink

Well, someone will sometimes come out with a cup of tea that they've made and it's horrible because it's too strong and they got That's a proper cup of tea. Go on. Get that down you get Good no, they just say it's proper but they say it in the way that you know, they mean the opposite It's like the sorry thing then you say what is not good. No, they just say it's proper, but they say it in the way that you know they mean the opposite. It's like the sorry thing. Then you say, Donka. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

Hmm. So would you guys like to come to Mat World? Oh yes, I'm sorry. That was a proper sidetracking. We sidetracked you. Back to Mat World. This is a world in which you decide, or what do you decide, Matt?

What happens? Yeah, so I'm gonna take you to Matt World, and it's basically a place that I've just sort of designed. It's my planet. I get to choose what it's like there. You know, there's gonna be interesting places. There's gonna be some interesting food and drink to explore and then maybe a new gadget,

a new rule for society. And then something that you would just, you just like to be a little bit different. Just like maybe it's like this world, but you would like it to be slightly tweaked. What would you do? Yeah. Okay. So this is the idea here.

Of course we have Jared's world and Adam's world waiting in the wings. We're going to be visiting. But this is Matt's idea and you are our guest, so. You go first. Take us to Matt world. What is this place like, Matt world? Let's go.

Let's go, get in your rocket. Put your seat belts on. We're gonna take off in there. In the unlikely event of an emergency, I want you to sort out your own masks first. That's very important. Don't be helping someone else. Oxygen mask. Okay.

Don't try to help anyone else. I thought we had to sort our masks. Like we had more than one of them. We were going to sort them by size or something. Oh, I see. Yeah. No, this is a British... Sorry.

I'll do the American. Yeah, please do version after yeah Well, if you're feeling unwell, there's a little tiny little bag in the seat in front of you in your seat pocket in front of you So if you could please use that it's it's really tiny though. So don't do any big Just a little swim Yeah, just do a little one. Sounds like Wayne's world, remember that? If you're going to spew, spew into this. Oh yeah. That guy designed a lot of our hospitality on board.

There you go. Rockets to Matt world. Yeah, because it's a kind of funny world. It's kind of silly, isn't it? It's going to be my world. Yeah. I hope you enjoy your time with us. Remember to please visit the dungeon for over-engineers.

This is a place where if you over-engineer things and make loads of complexity where it's not needed, you go in this dungeon. It's a simple thing. Harsh, but fair, I think. You have to build an MVP before you're legally allowed to build anything more complicated. Otherwise, you might not be able to build MVPs. that's that's why we have the dungeon of overengineers any questions about this this place how do you get out you just have to build something really simple oh but good like a fizz buzzer you can do hello world try i don't know about hello world well does it get any simpler than that hello mat world you Well, is it getting simpler than that? Hello, Matt world. You could do hello, Matt world.

I like that one. Okay, so dungeon for over engineers and really small puke bags in the yeah, but that's not part of the world. I'm sorry. I was just giving you the that's just in case anyone's feeling unwell on the flight. Don't when you get to Matt world, please, please do not forget to sample the delights of clever coffee. You play podcasts into the beans as they're growing. And then when you brew the coffee, that information actually can get into you, into you, into your body. Oh, wow. Osmosis.

Kind of like that. yeah, but through coffee. And yeah, you get that you just get the knowledge. So that's really cool. You'd be like, oh, I want to learn about politics. I'll drink some politics coffee. Or maybe the Peruvian coffee you can learn about Machu Picchu. Oh, my gosh. Maybe it's the place.

Yeah, maybe. Would you like a cup? What would you have in your coffee? Wouldn't you like that? You could just have a coffee and get an API docs in your brain. Sounds kind of amazing actually. I'm wondering about how diluted it might be. Because you're really just passing water through the beans.

Maybe if you actually ate the coffee beans, you just become all-knowing. Yeah. I think it's just like caffeine though. It only lasts that long. Oh, it goes away. Yeah. You forget it. Not as cool now. Not as cool. So you just drink it for your morning coding session and you just like know the Stripe API inside out, for instance, if you're drinking Stripe's coffee. And then you lose it later in the day.

You lose it, it wears off. Yeah, but you might be like, oh, I'm gonna write a Grafana dashboard. How do I do that? Let me drink the Grafana brew. And then you've got that, you've downloaded the wrong bit. Is this an advertisement?

No, no, no, I'm just saying for another example. Another example. No, this coffee doesn't exist. It's not an advert,, no, no, I'm just saying for example. Another example. No, this coffee doesn't exist. It's not an advert, it's not a real advert. It's not for sale. You can't play podcasts into the coffee beans and then that information goes into the beans as far as I know.

Now what if you played this podcast right here that we're recording into the coffee beans and then drank the coffee? What would you know afterwards? This entire, everything we talk about in this. Some high quality coffee. Yeah, when you order them, I think you choose the They would call that proper coffee.

That would be proper. Yeah. Okay, so clever coffee. This is your best beverage. That's the best beverage. What else you got? Well, while you're here, please, please try if if you can, the falafel wraps. They're lovely. Nothing special about them. Just love a falafel wrap.

You have complete creative freedom to come up with anything that you want. You can't beat it though. And you just go with a falafel. The only thing, the only way I think you could beat a falafel wrap is if you had a headache and you put, you made the falafel wrap also take away headaches. Why didn't you do that then? I mean, you can do whatever you want here, Matt. It's Matt world. Yeah, because I don't want to, I don't have a headache.

Okay. Yeah. And plus there's going to be more regulations with that sort of food, isn't there? So I can't be bothered with that. What about the clever coffee? I think they'd probably regulate regulate that wouldn't they? Yeah they try but we've outsmarted them because we've had a cup of business. Yeah well if you're drinking like the the business brew so to speak and you get

you know a comedic latte instead. Yeah you get to learn about comedy versus business. Instead yeah, you get learn about a comedy versus business You get a legal flat white and then you've got yourself to the teeth really have to have in court What they what they call those? Those bills deterministic builds no not deterministic where you know the build end-to-end reproducible Reproducible builds, you know, you have to be able to reproduce The fact that you know, you got to document what knowledge went into this coffee so that I'm not drinking some

You know some of your politics I just want some business brew Yeah, there we go. There's that whole don't be slipping them, you know Not proper politics up in here. No, that's it. That was that big scandal where they were worried about that because everyone just suddenly got into wearing mullets again and they were worried that someone had spiked the clover coffee. They look lovely but-

I've been waiting for an explanation for this. Yeah, that's what it's coming from. That is plausible. Sneaking it in. I tell you how to do it right there, microdosing. Microdosing in the mullet coffee. That was in a podcast about mullets though. So first you have to find a podcast about mullets

and you turn that into the coffee and then people grow mullets. They're doing fade mullets now. They have like really high here, a fade and then it fades into a mullet of the back. Yeah, it's good idea terms are back, too Yeah, boy spiky fade mullets keep going Matt. What else you got? Well, I'd love to show you well, you know if you want to come into my house I've sit down notice that the sofa doesn't have any legs. It's just floating

You're welcome Don't be scared. It's perfectly fine. Sit on it. It moves a bit more than normal. But sit down. That's not even it. So you sit down on the sofa, it kind of moves a little bit? Well it does. It doesn't have any legs. Is it hovering?

Yeah, it's hovering. But it moves when you sit on it. It's like suspension. Is there any way to make it not move? Like a lock? the more expensive ones will Go more still loud. Is it displacing air underneath it? You didn't sound it just floats. All right, awesome Yeah, levitates that we call that levitating actually. What's the difference between levitating and floating? That's a great question. Is that a great question?

Yeah, that's a great question. Great. a great question? Yeah, that is a great question. I think that question is honestly. I never thought about that. If you're floating. I think it's two different words that mean essentially the same thing. Yeah, but they've got to be something different. I think floating might be the act of being a certain weight. And that there's no there's neither pull nor push when gravity is concerned.

But when you're levitating, you're resisting gravity. Staying in the same position. that there's no there's neither pull nor push when gravity is concerned. But when you're levitating, you're resisting gravity, staying in the same position. Yeah. So if it's density, then if you're less dense, you float. That's floating. Yeah, because you're floating. You're you're buoyant with gravity. Right. But if you are magically or some other means lifting yourself up. OK, there we go. OK. So that's what your your sulfur levitates,

which is the reason for the movement. Yeah, they just move a little bit when you sit down. I'm just saying don't be scared when you sit down. This isn't even my main gadget. I want to tell you about this new gadget. I'm going into the details here. This is, this levitating couch is, you know, stop, stop the press.

Yeah, yeah, but it's good. Imagine big magnets. Go on, I'm ready. I want You know, stop the press. Yeah, but it's good. Imagine big magnets. Go on, I'm ready. I want more. Give me the rest. So I'm out of talking about this before, because I'm coming back. Night rider or sleepy car,

I call it. It's essentially you, it's like a nanite vehicle. You can fall asleep in a car and it's a self-driving car. So if you wanted to go what's a place that's like eight hours away from where you live Jared? Denver. Denver so you want to go to Denver for the day it's a pain to do that now but

with Nanay to car vehicle you can get in the car it will drive you there while you sleep you then wake up you're in Denver for the day you go back to bed in the car it drives you back so as far as you're concerned you've just slept in a car or slightly better than a car but you've teleported essentially you have a day where you are now and then the next day in Denver the day after that back where you are now. Well I think teleporting might be a stretch I mean you're sleeping the whole time, right? You're sleeping, but it's close to teleporting, isn't it?

Because you're not really, unless you're conscious of where you are every time while you're asleep, I'm certainly not. I don't even know I'm still in the bedroom. I'm kind of appreciating how much Matt undershot on these. They're understated, you know? Like he had a complete freedom to do whatever he wants. He comes with falafels and full self-driving basically.

These are this is a really good Waymo, isn't it, Matt? It's basically a good. This is it's a nice way. Mo. All right. All right. It's a sleepy bedtime. That world is like the current world we're in, but maybe like six months earlier or later.

Yeah. Okay. I like it. I hope so. Yeah, I I hope so too. It's the floating couch thing I mean, we're not quite there yet, but no way you can if you have a big strong magnet But I think clever coffees are gonna be at least eight months. Never coffee is a great idea Yeah. All right. So you've got a gadget which is a Nanite way mo a sleepy car. Yeah. Yeah. It's hush hush bedtimes vehicle van you can get your salesman because you claim it teleports you but what it does is it

drives you places while you're sleeping it's like tele is the closest we'll get I fell asleep on a flight to the US once I got on the plane they'd messed around tried to warn me about not to put someone else's mask on. Like, oh no. You'd sort your own mask. Well, I wasn't even thinking of helping anyone else at all. So I don't know what they're playing at. And they're like, oh, do you want this tiny little packet of peanuts?

Yes, please. Would you like some even smaller pretzels? I've never seen a pretzel that small. Have you? Anyway, this is just in my head, but this happens. So I get on the plane. I've never seen a pretzel that small have you? Anyway this is just in my head but this happens. So I get on the plane, I fall asleep, I wake up in America. That's where you all live. Correct. And that was to me that was like two hours of my life conscious. So that was like teleporting. Yeah I used to do it all the time we'd go on family vacations and I was a child.

I'd just sleep in the car. Yeah. And you leave your house and then you wake up and you're there. There you go. So I'm excited for Matt world. What else you got? Did you like that when you were a kid doing that, Jared?

I loved it. Yeah. See? That's what I'm saying, I love it. What has happened, you forgot about that love? No, it's just that- Because they're gonna pitch this startup. Just my parents were driving the car. I love it. What has happened? You forgot about that love. Cause when I pitched this startup. Just my parents were driving the car.

You know, I wasn't teleporting really. I understand from my perspective. I get a hundred percent what you're saying. I'm just feeling like, you know, complete creative freedom to invent a gadget. That's all. Okay, good. But so just to clear,

you're just making clear for your listeners that, okay, good. This is your game by the way, so just keep that in mind. Okay. What else you got? I can't wait to hear this rule. Well, exactly. The laws are different on each of our planets, of course.

And there's a law that's actually quite a strange one that was passed a few years ago. If you want a dock at work, you have to write it. Okay? And you can't say, let's have this doc and then make someone else write it. That's a, it's a law. It's a law. Yeah, on that world.

In that world, okay, this is a good one. You want something written? Yeah. Write it yourself. You cannot request that somebody else write some documentation. Yes. You have to write it yourself. And if you can't, because you don't know, then you have to find out in order to write it yourself. And if you can't, because you don't know, then you have to find out in order to write it.

But it proves that you need it, first of all, because it's easy to just imagine, here's six docs we should have. That's easy. All right, let's play this out for a moment. So let's say in Matworld, you write a new microservice. It's perfectly engineered, Let's say in Matworld, you write a new microservice. It's perfectly engineered, so you're not in danger of the dungeon.

And I need to use your microservice, and it's got no docs. I can't come to you and be like, hey, Matt, you should write some docs for this. Yeah, that's true. You've found an immediate place where this doesn't apply. I should write the docs. I'm not talking about docs really.

I'm talking about a design. I'm talking about some pre-designed thing or some... Write a doc that explains something about the system. Gotcha. Yeah, which you have the knowledge. It's one of these laws that like lots of small fine print. Yeah Changed over time. Yeah. Well, you have to adjust it as the world advances. Okay, so not a bad idea Yeah, tiny little law Adam. You like this one write your own docs. I think it's a it's it's probably hard to enforce

What kind of consequences are there if you ask somebody else to write some docs? Three nights in the dungeon? No, no. It's basically decriminalized at this point. Decriminalized? So it's a misdemeanor? Not even, yeah. Not even that, you're just fine. It's like jaywalking. Okay, so that already does it.

So it's a worthless law. Alright, what else you got? It's mostly a request. It is, yeah. That's what laws are really, isn't it? They just request it like, please, please don't. Yeah. Pop his head off. If you do this, I'm gonna have to do that. Yes. And you don't want that. It's a good idea to have laws written in code though, I think. She's giving me that idea. It's quite a good one. You should try that. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

Is the laws of physics aren't exactly the same on this planet, by the way. I know what you're thinking, Jared. You're thinking laws of physics are probably identical to Earth. Why would they be? So this is Matt. World is different. OK. All the rain falls in one go, like just down like a single drop It's just an enormous just smash every that's awesome Finally none of this like none of this delivery in little bits and pieces and taking hours one big massive drop like worldwide

Yeah, just bang does everybody get hit at once are there holes in it? Everybody's wearing pointy hats. How do they know? We got really good weather people. They just wear them all the time. You never know when it's coming. Just in case. You can see it.

Is that a law? No, but- The pointy hat law? No, but of course you're going to do it. Otherwise you have to try and dive through it. Like a reverse dive. If you don't have the hat on, like, could it kill probably could it's you certainly guess You can get a slapped a slapped red back Have you ever jumped into a pool and just landed on your belly on the water? I have yeah hurts belly flop

Yeah, was on top of your head Smash all the buildings are pointy big ramifications. Yeah. But once it's done, you can go out for the day. Do what you want. Just one big drop. Just comes down in one big slab.

Love it. Matt's world sounds fascinating. Welcome. Have a coffee. You know, this one's from Kenya. So you can, this will actually teach you about the sort of rich experience of that country and the rich culture.

So have it, enjoy. That's the Kenya one. Or I can offer you this cold blend from Brooklyn, New York. For half an hour, you'll know how to look cool wearing a hat. This cold blend. You guys are a crazy podcast in that world. Well, friends, you know, I love Notion. It is the number one tool in my tool chest.

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combines your docs, your notes, your projects all in one place for you and your team to collaborate on. And the fully integrated Not notion a sweet let you work faster Smarter easier better all the things and I know because I use it every single day You can try notion today for free when you go to notion dot-com Slash change log use that link to try the powerful easy use notion AI today And of course we use our link you are benefiting us letting Notion know that we work. There you go. Once again, Notion.com slash changelog. All right, Adam, you want to take us to Adam world? I'd love to go. I don't think I want to do it anymore this stuff

That with this imagining stuff, uh, I Don't know if I'll be as cheeky as Matt, but I will take it to Adam world. Let's hear it. I'd love to go. I really I Really struggled because I was between the couple different worlds here. Hmm But I figured I'd stay stereotypical and take it to what I would call Adam World. OK, let's hear it. Am I supposed to read this script that you share with me, Jared? Is that the rule? Matt sent me the script.

Should he read the script? He didn't read the script. Yeah, he sort of did. He used it as an outline. Yeah. OK. You can read verbatim if you want, or you do it like Matt did or you can do whatever you want. It's your show. I will do my best.

Okay. Okay. That's all we can ask for. Please. A lot of pomp and circumstance. Welcome gentlemen. Thank you. I didn't write that.

Welcome gentlemen to Adam World. I hope you enjoy your time with us. Remember to visit the Silicon Valley Museum Oh and the food court and try the Hooli Pied Piper burger today and sample the delights of the uptick mineral water which might Which might reduce bedwetting. But first, can I introduce you to our favorite gadget, the most revolutionary compression algorithm ever that the world has ever seen. Oh.

That's it. Middle-aught? That's the script. Middle something. I didn't name it. It was already named. That's right. All right, so.

The new gadget is a revolutionary compression algorithm. Yeah, we could use one of those. It remains unnamed. Like Voldemort, you can't say the name. Right. The new rule, new law is this. Everything is nothing and nowhere, but also kind of everywhere. Cloud. Yeah. Compressor. Compressed. And the thing I love to change most about the world that I live in is I want to live.

This is heartfelt. Okay. This is hard to even say. Okay. You can do it. You can do it, mate. You can say it. I want to live in a world where everyone can watch Silicon Valley, a piece of harmony.

Well, this is, this is very touching. OK, I've said it. That's it. Wow. Wow. That's it. Wow. I like it. I can say thank you for listening. Wow. I like to be on Adam's world. I've just started rewatching Silicon Valley and it's so good. I'm proud of re-watching Silicon Valley. And it's so good.

I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you. How many times have you seen it, Adam? Endless. It's constantly playing in my brain. Yeah. So if you had that compression album, by the way, you can't name it because the name is so small

that it can't be spoken by humans. Is it compressed that much? They wanted to call it FTL Good, that's great. That is great FTL Faster than light yeah faster than light yeah for the loss It's lossless it's lossy But it was actually faster than light, but I like FTL for the loss as well. Or flossing.

Well, so if you had that for real then, what would the word that I mean because we did have a bit of a problem before recording this where my hard drive is unnecessary. Well that would have never happened. Okay, because based on the new rule new law everything is nothing and nowhere, but also kind of everywhere. I Don't know what that means Well, everything is nothing And it's nowhere

Because it's just so small But it's also kind of everywhere Because it's so small it can move so fast so this problem at hand with moving his data and all that disk space issue is that it just basically renders disk space obsolete because it's infinite. It's just the thing that something becomes nothing, but also something in everywhere. Yeah, that's cleared it up. Yeah. Yeah.

I think I always found compression to be sort of bonkers that you could just have a file and then Do something and then it's a smaller file and then do something else and it's put it put it back You know sometimes I just uncompress and decompress things constantly just to see if somewhere Someone's pulling something over on me. Okay. Yeah, that's good. We should find out constantly.

Compressing, recompress, compressing, recompress. It's like, it's back and forth. Yeah. Yeah. One day I'll know for sure if they're truly compressing those things and then pulling them back out and they work again. Yeah, I never know or they just say saving the main file in a different And that's why we have the Silicon Valley Museum if we didn't have this museum these These critical Cultural icons in our world today would just be gone forever

Yeah, you would never know why or how I? Thought there this was the Silicon Valley. I mean aware is Adam world but with the But I thought when you meant Silicon Valley, I thought you meant like the actual computer area Oh, yeah, sorry, man, but you don't this is where you're sorely mistaken man. This is where you're totally mistaken man, this is the TV show. You don't listen to the show enough man, it's never the computer. Silicon Valley the TV show. It's always the TV show. You gotta keep it alive forever. It's rich in my blood deep deep deep. One time I tried to reference the actual geography of Silicon Valley and this

guy dinged me anyways. He overruled it and he just dinged it. He's like, nope, that's the TV show. So good luck trying to talk about the geography. Okay. No, forget it. Not an Adam's world. Yeah. Not an Adam world. Now, I don't know about you, but I'm, I'm just sick and tired.

Sick and tired of- He's gonna start crying again. It's tough to talk about, okay? He's getting choked up. I've got some friends, okay? They're still a little scarred. They were trying to watch Silicon Valley. I was too close to home.

Okay, and some people came in the house, started throwing some things, okay? They were throwing things. It was not cool. No peace, no harmony. Trying to watch Silicon Valley. started throwing some things, okay? They were throwing things. It was not cool. No peace, no harmony. Trying to watch Silicon Valley. So everyone is allowed to watch it,

and that is the law. No, no, that's not the law. This is the law. What's the law? Oh, that's the change. If you want everyone who wants to watch it, you can do so in peace and harmony. So now there was this cult, this uprising, trying to abolish and get rid of and erase

Silicon Valley culture and everything that this TV show stands for. And people were trying They were on eBay They were on eBay and they were trying to get the TV show Trying to buy HBO that word is there was insiders. It was a bunch. It was a mess Okay, it was a mess and then whenever you watched Silicon Valley the TV show There was never any peace and never any harmony and And so the new rule is this, is that you have to abide by peace and harmony. You cannot disrupt. They will watch Silicon Valley forever if they want to.

Sounds like the Streisand effect. I'm getting a little worked up now. Now I was sad for a second there, but now I'm mad. Well, maybe you should come to Jared's world. Yeah, it sounds like you've made a world that's really just tormenting you. Pop in the rocket, let's go to Jared's world. Would you like an enormous pretzel? Welcome, gentlemen. To Jared's world.

Oh, hello. Yay! I hope you do enjoy your time with us. To Jared world. Oh, hello. Yay. I hope you do enjoy your time with us. Remember to visit The Lou, which is our Lou Gehrig themed restaurant. And when you're there, be sure to order the number two, which is the best chili nachos smothered in baked beans

Lovely and then of course when you're all finished you can watch it wash it down With our world famous cocktail. You're gonna love this cocktail Matt. It's an homage to Alan Iverson and his mechanical horse Named 10 10. Sorry, this is too good and his mechanical horse named Tintin. Sorry, this is too good. It's so good. Yeah, it's, you know Alan Iverson, the famous basketball player here in the United States?

Yeah. Well, did you know he had a mechanical horse? Was it called Tintin? Was it? Yeah, Iverson's mechanical Tintin. We call the drink Iver Mectin. Now is it coming to tin tin? Yes.

Like a Trojan horse? It'll finish you off nicely after that number two. Oh yeah, it sounds big that number two as well. It is big. It sounds really big. Yeah, you almost can't finish it in one sitting. Right, yeah. Now that's just our fine cuisines

We also have amazing new gadgets. I'd love to hear about your gadget Is it better than a levitating chair or a sleepy nighttime car? Yes I think it might be more useful than a than a really good Waymo. Oh Yeah, this is called the dis incinerator and than a really good Waymo. Oh yeah? This is called the dis-incinerator. Ha ha ha ha. And it does exactly what it sounds like. It's the opposite of an incinerator. It's so useful.

So if you have a great campfire and you want to do it again. Right. Same wood, just dis-incinerate it. Right. California wildfires, no need to rebuild your home, just dis-incinerate your home.

Right back to good as new. Yeah. Or the Amazon forest ravaged by loggers. First you have to incinerate the logs. Right. And then let's get those trees back in the ground with the dis-incinerator. Right.

I think you get the point. This is very good. And grandma? That's right. Yes. The ultimate disincentivating values is your loved ones. As long as they don't choose traditional burial.

Right. We can disincentivate them too. This is exciting because I sometimes burn things and then think afterwards I shouldn't have burned that. I think we all do that from time to time, don't we? It happens. Pretty good gadget. Yeah, this is a good gadget.

Thinking outside the box, you know? Not just renaming existing vehicles, but just brand new things. Of course there are some people who would not like this dis incinerator. Serial killers. Oh yeah. It's annoying for people with really mean grandmas.

Mm hmm. Um, some grandmas are horrible. Yeah. And you just want to leave them as they are, as they lay or as they lie. Mm hmm. Liars. They are. Yeah. But for everybody else, there's the distance in as they lie. Liars, they are. Yeah. But for everybody else, there's the distance generator.

This is it, yeah. That's my gadget. I got nothing else there. That's how Jared's World works. I once made a pizza, and I didn't really know what I was doing, so I sort of put it under the grill, which is the broil thing in the US, I think.

You know when it's just got the heat on the top. Sure. I thought that's kind of like a pizza oven. But I was essentially just grilling or toasting a pizza frozen pizza. And anyway, with cut long story short, it was on fire. It was very quickly on fire. Yeah. And I knew it was a spicy pizza, but that I don't think it was meant to be on fire. And it certainly, when I checked the box, it said nothing about that, if anything. It implied it wouldn't be on fire. Like it didn't say explicitly, but yeah.

You just can read between the lines. Yeah, you can't return it at that point, unless you had a dis-incinerator. Now, in that case, I think it pays for itself. You can just take cooking too far and then just rewind it, basically. You can get yourself a dis-incinerator for four easy payments of 29.99 and one really hard payment.

So, just look out for that one. Same amount but you have to pay in pennies. That's right. You know, your checks gonna get lost in the mail. Your credit, your bank account is gonna bounce. Something's gonna go wrong on that last one Yeah, put the wrong number in when you try to put your the destination bank account number you put it all in correctly But you got something wrong in the address. So it's just slowed it down

It's just it's not much the system has been flagged, but it's bank holiday. It's a long weekend So shout out to Mitch Hedberg. That's an old Mitch Hedberg gag that he does quite a bit better than I do. And if I can disincentivate him, I certainly would. All right. Now there are some new rules here in Jared world. We don't live after the same rules that you all live by. It's going to be dark, aren't they? He's going to make Adam cry. Here's what we're going to do.

We're going to return to champions. Okay, we're gonna bring back champions in Jared world we do not wage war By killing millions of young men women and innocent children Hmm, all disputes are resolved by champions just like we used to do in the neighborhood growing up You know, my dad can beat up your dad that kind of a thing Or the old school David versus Goliath, you know send out your best we send out our best right and whoever wins wins the dispute. Was David the best one because that statue of him he's got no arms have you seen it in Italy? Yeah I think Michelangelo screwed that part up didn't he?

Or is that? And he didn't have any clothes on, he's got his willy out. He can't go to battle. All I needed was five smooth stones I guess but not any. Just two. You must have read a different account. So yes this is the old champions. Here's how it would work now. I got practical here.

I want to actually explain this because you know you can't just come out and say whoever's champion wins wins. I still do not want there to be murder, okay? So there's no, all wars now are done this way instead. And it is based on champions. How it works is each disputing group will pick their contest, okay? It could be MMA, it could be Wii Sports, chess, vibe coding, whatever.

Right. There's nine events, and the smallest population picks first because they need a little help. Right. And then each contest has a new champion. So you name, here's our vibe coding champion, right? Here's our chess champion.

And they battle it out. First one to five wins the dispute. Here's the kicker though. Each champion that loses is disqualified from ever being a champion in that category ever again and so choose wisely. What do you think? This would work right? I mean I think this, I think we should do this just as a TV show.

I think we should. Yeah. It's kind of like the Olympics but higher stakes and more categories. More random categories. What are the rules in that last part again? Like how does that go? Well, you got nine. So let's say it's United States versus Great Britain for instance. Okay. Oh, come on that'd never happen. I know it wouldn't but just for giggles Hilarious. Yes So we would pick oh we have a bigger population so they would pick a category probably cricket Could be probably a surefire win for them, right? I mean could be the Beatles and then we put Paul McCartney in

Yep, he's still kicking. Yeah We put Willie Nelson against him. See what happens. Yeah, but They would pick cricket, you know, we don't have any cricket players We put Willie Nelson against him. See what happens. Yeah, good, but They would pick cricket, you know, we don't have any cricket players We might just give them that one or like fine Whatever you in that category and then we would pick a category and you can name pretty much any other Game of skill and then we would have more people on that one and then they would pick one What's that? You say burgers and we're like, we'll let them just have that one Exactly. Make your battles.

Apple pie, you know, a pie baking contest. Yeah, so food we pretty much win, but it could be like Fortnite. I'm sure there's probably some really good Fortnite players over there. Yeah, even Minesweeper. Minesweeper. Minesweeper. Yeah, there's a whole kinds of e-sports that can move into this. And then whoever wins is best of five.

So you got nine different events. So you can go, it can go eight to four to four all the way down. Whoever wins the last one wins the dispute. So whatever we're disputing about, be it land or money or how many used to put in the word favorite, I'm looking for zero, we win or they win. And that's it. The dispute's over. Like there's no ifs, ands or buts about it It's over. Yeah, I think I think everyone could get behind that you'd be like, okay fair enough We're all gonna lose our entertainment too, right? Like yeah

they're already trying to entertain us with these monstrosities right like they're like showing us war and stuff and Yeah, it's horrible. How about like something fun? Yeah, I like this idea We have to get the violent people to really buy into this idea. I don't think it's the well, it's Jared world So I just dictate it like this is just how the world works. Okay. Yeah, you have to yeah Yeah, this is a good one. It puts my Doc's one into sharp perspective Yeah, yeah sure does yeah in fact if you had a dispute over Doc's one into sharp perspective. Doesn't that one really seems really important? That's why it is. Yeah, yeah, it sure does. Yeah. In fact, if you had a dispute over Doc's, well, we would just champion it, you know?

And I think in this world, it's probably pretty easy to watch Silicon Valley to use that piece of harmony. I think, yeah, you might exist happily in this world Adam. Yeah, it's not No need for tears. No need for you know sessions and in groups and you know, yeah Fellow Silicon Valley people to cry with Well, the AI best friend to think of the past through it. What a beautiful world Jared So I've described to you guys my gadget, which is the distance generator I've told you my new rule which is a return to champions and skill based competition to settle disputes.

My thing I would like to change. And Matt, you did say this does not include physics. I can just do whatever I want. Right? Yeah. Anything you want, mate. Don't forget. I had the big rain that all comes down.

That was epic. I might adopt that. Can I adopt some of your stuff? Well, let me just go a little bit bigger than that even and say everything that tastes good, ice cream, Snickers, the extra large number two from Looz, they're all actually good for you. And everything that tastes bad, cucumbers,

or cucumbers gone bad, AKA pickles, avocados, you know, gross stuff, they're actually bad for you. Right. So this is not a creative one because I think a lot of people would like this, but it really is gonna bring people into Jared world. Because wouldn't it be amazing if the best things that tasted the best to you actually were the best for you? Wouldn't that just be epic?

Yeah, it would be epic. For a lot, I think a lot of people will be happy with that. And I don't want to take anything away from them. But just, just for me, just only speaking, just for me personally, I don't like, I don't really like cakes and that. And the stuff I like is good for your stuff. Like I love avocado, cucumber. Oh, yes, please pickled, hello. Well you must be pretty healthy then. I think I am but not deliberately.

Yeah just because you like the taste of good things. Yeah. Well here's the thing is I didn't describe how it works especially, I was naming things that I think taste good or bad but it's completely subjective so whatever you think tastes good is good for you. Oh here we go. Yeah so I win everybody with that right?

Like there's, who's gonna not want that? I don't, you're in. Yeah. Yeah, so I wouldn't everybody with that right like there's yeah, who's gonna not want that I didn't Yeah, yeah, I think so Yeah, it's kind of like what they did in the matrix. You know they made they made taste. Thanks made steak taste so good Yeah, he just wanted to go Red pill so this is a personal preference thing. This is not a I make your food taste bad. You make my food taste whatever whatever tastes good is good for you And that's you personally so all your favorite stuff. That's guilty pleasure Everything is good. It's good. So let's say I have a bag of Swedish fish

Swedish Swedish Swedish fish No, they have red 40 in it. Okay, what's the heck? What's the heck is right 40? Let me tell you about red 40. Tell me about it, man. What is red 40? Let's see how biased this is. This is deep seek our one Right and tell you what China what is red 40 thinking red 40 also known as Allora Red AC, is a synthetic red dye widely used in food,

beverages, cosmetics, and pharmaceuticals. Right. Okay. Okay, and you love that, do you? It is known to have health concerns, hyperactivity in children. Children lead to, in some studies to alleged reactions and some of the stuff.

I don't know, whatever. Yeah. Anyway, it's bad for you. It's approved in the US. Not in Jared world. Not approved everywhere else. Not in Swedish fish and Jared world. Well, it's good for you in your world, isn't it Jared?

That's right. I mean, this is just in it Jared. That's right. I mean this is Just how it works. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean the point is you got Swedish fish red 40 And it tastes good. Okay, they're pretty solid. I've never had them in Jared world. They don't taste good Or is it up to me for them to taste good if it tastes bad to you? It's bad for you It's a simple equation if it tastes bad to you, it's bad for you. It's a simple equation. If it tastes good to you, it's good for you. Yeah, so your Swedish fish would be good for you. Your doctor would be like, you make sure you're getting enough Swedish fish.

You get that red 40, you need that red 40. That's right. So you're telling me, it tastes good to me, good for me, no matter what. Exactly. I mean, this is a win, win, win. There's no losing here. I mean, you would just want this real change.

This is why I changed it. So let's say you got somebody who's like really down with broccoli. They're down with it? They're down with the broccoli. They love it. So good for them? They have, in the past, they'd say things like,

I love you broccoli. I love you broccoli. Okay, so they have like a speech impediment kind of thing? Yeah. Okay. No. It's like a judging cartoon. This is a dated, that was a dated caricature of the person.

That was when they were seven. I didn't know you dated the person. Maybe four or three. I love you broccoli. Go ahead, do it again. He wants to do it again. Go ahead. He's coaxing. I love you broccoli. Go ahead, do it again. He wants to do it again. Go ahead. I love you broccoli. It tastes like candy.

Okay. So, you love broccoli, it tastes like candy. Yes. Good for you, no matter what. It's good for you. It's not a complicated algorithm. There's no holes in this algorithm. You can't poke a hole in it.

All right. So, who's moving where? That it. All right, so who's moving where? That's what we gotta know. Who's moving where? Now I'm kind of want this, I think my world's the best, but I really do want Matt's all the rain at one moment thing. So I'm kind of on the fence there. And you know you want people watching

Silicon Valley in peace and harmony, man. You know that's. I'm not against that. You know that's your goal. That's not my goal in life, but I do want them to have that freedom. So yeah, I mean, all these worlds sound pretty good. What I'm kind of boned about

is they don't have any musical accompaniment for any of this. Matt, can you sing, how about theme songs? I mean, now you know our worlds. You've heard everything about Matt world. Everything about Adam world. Where's the coolest song, World, everything about Jared World, maybe a Diddy for each or one that encompasses all three,

whatever you're thinking here. Get that guitar out. Right, let's do it. Let's go on a trip around this weird solar system. ["Wonderful World"] Won't you come with me please On a big big journey We're gonna make sure you put your own mask on first Before you help anybody You can sit on a floating sofa you can ride a sleepy car

if you wanna ride ducks though you're the only one who has to do it okay cause all the rain falls in one go Everybody wears pointy hats And all the cars are pointy and all the buildings are also pointy Why, Why? Well it's because because of the rain.

Do you like Silicon Valley? If you do, you're gonna like this place You can watch it anytime you like In peace and harmony If you don't like it though I don't know what happens to you I assume that it's not great, maybe you get shunned Or we can go to Jared World now Jared World Jared world Where all things you eat that are nice That, that, that means they're good for you

Lucky kid eats a bad, bad sandwich But you like it anyway And well I got news for you, will you pay attention? That sandwich is now good for you, will you pay attention? That sandwich is now good for you. You're gonna like Jared well. And if you don't just get in the rocket, we'll take you to space, take Would you like a little packet of pretzels? In the event of an emergency, please put your own mask on. For helping anyone else. Very nice.

Very nice. Very nice. It is. Poof indeed. That's the sort of reaction you look for after a song. No one mentioned compression. Sad. Pardon? No one mentioned compression, man. Oh yeah.

Well, he was in there. He's so disappointed. He might start crying again. No, it was in there between all the words. Yeah, he compressed it. Oh, I sure did. This is not what we call peace and harmony. I got out of that so good. I got out of that.

Because of the compression thing. I think Matt really highlighted his points more than ours. Don't you think Adam? He even brought back the little pretzels. None of us were talking about pretzels, but Matt. I don't know about you, but when he said that, I mean, no mention of a disincentorator at all.

Yeah. Coolest gadget of the three. Yeah. I was trying to remember that stuff, but I didn't. What I should have done is written it down. That would have been good. We gave you plenty of time, you know? Yeah. I mean, Adam cried for a good 45 seconds. Yeah, I know, but that was just so touching It was like watching the Morgan Freeman film at the end where it does a long speech tells you all about something Which was that in your heart all of them?

Where is okay like I'm Morgan Freeman and I'm gonna tell you now about this Moral of the story that sort of thing right? Is that right? What's all your favorite Morgan Freeman movie? Um I like that one where he's God Bruce Almighty mmm. That's a good one such a short role though God Yeah, but he wasn't really in the film a lot. Well. You know not bad. He only really did his thing for a week there, didn't he? And took him a week to build all the universe and all the That's right. That's right. Bruce Almighty, on the other hand, had to do loads of work

and he had to keep his main job. A lot of emails, a lot of emails. I think that movie pales in comparison to Shawshank Redemption, which is one of the best movies of all time. That's probably true. It's often in the lists of top movies. It is because it's just that good. Yeah, and it really is good too, so.

Yeah. It's fair enough. Sometimes you'll have a popular album and you're like, yeah, I don't really like that band because everybody else likes them. Yeah. You know, like of course you're gonna pick Godfather 2. You know?

Yeah, Shawshank really is the- But it's like Shawshank's just so good. You can't even get mad at people. I think really is the it's like Shawshank just so good You can't even I think because it's so long Shawshank's long. It's a pretty long movie. It's a fairly. It's not a short movie. No, it's not a three-hour movie, but it's long I heard it was a flop when it first came out and people were like, yeah, and then it just grew and grew It wasn't like a big opening weekend. Not like, you know and grew. It wasn't like a big opening weekend. Not like, you know, uh, the flust. What's the fast of the, the fast and the furious cars, right? Well, there's angry cars or, you know, Marvel.

Right. But I think that, you know, Shawshank can probably thank TBS or perhaps TNT, which might be the same company, I don't even know, because its rise to fame really was over like the course of 10 to 15 years when it was just on like TBS on like a Saturday afternoon, probably every Saturday or Sunday for years. And it gave like an entire generation an opportunity to watch it and watch it over and over again and just fall in love with it. Because yeah, it wasn't like it moved, changed the world when it was in theaters or anything. But it is, it's classic.

And if you look at those lists, which I sometimes do, and I'm like, I'm gonna start at the top film of all time, which is usually a Godfather or two. Yeah. I can go down the list until I haven't seen one, and then that's the one I have to then watch. And honestly, they really are all good. That is true.

Like, good films, like, when they're like the best film in the top 50 films of all time or whatever, they're probably all good films. Yeah, they're all really thinking good. And if you're like the guy in the room going, I don't like that one because, you know, you're probably wrong. Yeah. Yeah. But let me do that for a second.

OK, so Citizen Kane though, like that one's like well-known top number one. And that's the one I'm always like, yeah, I've seen it. But I wouldn't go back and watch it. I appreciate it for its quality, whatever, whatever. But I'd watch Shawshank like 100 times before I watched Citizen Kane again. Maybe just because it's that old of a movie.

I mean, it was very early on. But it's always there. And I think it's not I don a movie. I mean it was very early on but But it's always there and I think it's not I don't think it doesn't deserve it. I just feel like I could take it or leave it myself So there there I'm that guy, you know It's I'm that guy with the citizen code as well. Okay, cool. So but but we're probably wrong We probably are but we're at least wrong together, you know, yeah exactly. And that's what that's why I come on this podcast. That's right. We can watch shashank in peace and harmony One would pray all right, what else should we? Should we hard segue into a different topic? Should we say goodbye? Should we?

Reinvent new worlds beyond I want to mention one thing. mention one thing that was not really talked about much. Okay. Uptick mineral water. Oh yeah. I don't know what that is. Uptick. You drink this mineral water, not only do you get a physical uptick, you get a website traffic boost as well. Yeah, this is good.

Uptick mineral water. Brings you growth, makes your Internet fast and I mean, you know, that's the it helps you get the people to buy your thing uptick. It does a lot of things, this uptick. Is it natural? Does it come out of a spring? It's a mineral water. Yeah. Best thing for you

Hmm Not if you don't like the taste of it. Some would call it amazing Some would call it amazing. Honestly, I would mineral water that gives you a physical and a digital uptick Who doesn't want an uptick? Who doesn't indeed? You know what I live daily for an uptick. Uptick. Who doesn't want an uptick? Who doesn't, indeed. You know what? I live daily for an uptick.

Can you see my this gadget that I have in real life? Oh, wow. What is this? So there's like two lights around your neck. Those are personal headlights. Yeah, kind of like what? So you have like, what is this, man? This is kind of like personal headlights He's joking, but if you're reading a book

You you wear these light kind of collar There's a sort of collar to it looks like the kind of thing you know like the pillow you'd put on on an airplane Yeah, pop it around your neck Put your own mask on before helping anyone else's. Put your own headlights on before helping your friends or your children. And then you can read because there's more light on you. It shines light on your book. What if you just had instead, right here Matt, see this part of my neck?

Oh yeah, face it back into you. What if you just had these like, they were magnets. Those same lights and they would call it power over skin Okay, PO has right your skin would electronically transmit the power You click the lights to your neck power Via your heartbeat and boom light. So are they pulse? I Don't know if they would pulse. I mean, maybe they have different they have different you know your bodies that provide the power at that point you know

but they yeah they can use the power to blink or to go blue or green or to be this you know I'm thinking maybe like 3600 Kelvin right now roughly yeah 4700 maybe I mean I wish you could do that. I wish you could like experiment more with stuff in your body. Like yeah, I've gone for LEDs or extra arms. Extra arms? Yeah, if you have, imagine an extra arm coming out of your side. Here's a weird thing because, well, imagine picking something up with it now. I'm kind of down for it.

You kind of know how to feel. You kind of know how that would feel. Yeah, like an arm. That's my theory. Yeah, but like imagine, I think, imagine it. You've got an arm coming out of your side. I am. You keep saying that like I'm not imagining it, but I am.

Okay, you are. Right, good. I just can't tell. I can't tell what you're imagining. I'm with you. I can't tell what you're imagining or not. Well, I'm wondering, could you feel when the power over your skin,

would you feel the electricity running through your veins? Imperceptible. Oh, wow. The reason why is, do you feel it now? You're already electrical. I'm carbon based. Or your nerves, touch your fingertip. That's an electrical pulse.

Yeah, I do feel that. That's electricity electricity inside your body a little voltage baby yeah but I mean you're talking like lighten up a light bulb dude a light bulb is sets a little voltage that's five volts or less man you don't feel that have you ever peed on electric fence no because they said don't do that in my my world that one of the laws that I didn't have to mention was that you don't pee on the electric fence you just don't pee on the electric fence You just don't do it. Oh, yeah. There's a song about it, too. Did you hear the song? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah the song about not peeing on the electric fence. Don't pee. Matt, how's that one go again?

On the electric fence. Go ahead, Matt. Give us some rendition of the don't pee on the electric fence. There we go. Yeah Okay, good. I wonder what genre this is gonna be. Nursery rhyme. What did it run? Yeah, kind of like a kid's song in a way. Very happy. Very happy. Too fast, too fast.

Yeah, that's a good pace. No rush, you're in no rush to be on that fence. Hey, when you go in at for walk. Well, something something I got to tell you, let's have a talk. Because if you need to go, there's something you should know. Don't go on that electric fence I did it once and not again I'm electric now and then I couldn't even really believe

How it made me feel Yeah, I did it I've done it again, kids. Oh man, that burns. It stings. Oh yeah, it burns. It stings. It hurts. It burns. It stings. So, is the idea there that you actually peed on it while you were singing the song even? Yeah.

You're getting the songs going. You're doing it to show them what not to do. That's why it sped up, he's just hurt the burns that stings Yeah, that's like I got me a class. That's good stuff man. You had your headlights on your personal headlights Now Matt when you wear those on the airplane Can you can you see the the very bottom and get that very last little pretzel? So those are for like you can you can take these on an airplane get down there in the bottom of the bag But the problem is when they turn all the lights off

For everyone's goes to sleepy time Then you got your lights on it's really annoying for everyone. Yeah, I gotta say sorry. Is there a dim mode? You know maybe uh you know yeah like it's like less bright. Oh, yeah, there's more bright It's like less bright. Oh, yeah, there's more bright It's like three love remitant. Yeah Like a little low mode. That's what you do modes. Yeah that low modes actually kind of high Then we need to go a little lower at that Do they measure that nets? I don't because we that's what we call head lice And that just as a unit for measurement it went out of fashion years ago

What do you measuring then? Knit widths. We just we still use inches. Oh yeah. Light? Not for light. Not for the light. Just like squinting. Lumens? What's a lumen count on that?

No, it's like if it's a big squint. How many inches is that light? If it's like, oh what you doing? Turn that off! Then you know it's really bright. so it's more or less squints Yeah, it's a medium squint light Yeah, you can get candles that are a thousand squints Well listeners, I'm so glad you tuned in today Me too, it was I think we all learned something

It was a This was a really interesting cheat on our friends, I'm telling you. I just don't even know where we're going with this. I'm loving the guitar picking as we outro this. Like as if it's an undercurrent or an undertone, so to speak, to these words I'm speaking. Well, thank you, friends, loved ones. Choose your world wisely, and we'll see you in Zulu. Bye, friends.

Bye, friends. Well friends, which world was your favorite world? I just want to say that I don't know if I got the memo on the assignment. Like Jared did a really good job. He made a real world. I was trying to be funny. I was just going to like do my thing with Silicon Valley. You know, I don't know. Matt of course is always cheeky, polite, funny, witty, comedic, and I suppose pretty decent

with a song. But let us know which was your favorite world? Jared world, Matt world, or Adam world, where you can watch Silicon Valley in peace and harmony forever. Big thank you to our friends over at Depot and our friends over at Notion. Check them out, depo.dev,

and of course, notion.com slash changelog. There you go. And of course, big thank you to our friends and our partners over at fly.io. That is the public cloud for developers, those of us who ship, those of us who love to remove the infra and deploy our apps wherever we want, and that place is fly.io.

Check them out. To the Beat Freak in residence break master cylinder, yes. Those beats are fresh, those beats are banging, and we have a new album. Check it out. Also, you can buy it, the MP3 digital version of it at the merch store, merch.changelock.com check it out if you want to buy it and if you want to stream it to your heart's content it's all the places apple music spotify

you name it enjoy those beats okay that's it the show's done we'll see you next week