The Chaser Report - 2022, The Year That Got (Shitter)

Episode Date: December 13, 2022

Charles, John, and Lachlan continue to remember 2022, a year that is so long and arduous that even recounting it puts some to sleep. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gatigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report. This is the second half of a bit of a cliffhanger episode. I'm on the edge of my seat. Yesterday we got up to June in the year. In the context, we're going through the main points of the news in the last year. Yeah.

And John and Loughlin are here. and John has, I don't know, what did you do? You just remember, you're just remembering the year. This is the Hamish and Andrew remembering project. Remembering in 2020. I wanted to do an article wrapping up the year and then realize so much stuff happened this year that'll be better just do it on the podcast.

Yes, so I don't happen. Save you writing it. Yeah. So what happens after June? Yeah, so we're going into July now and the UK lost their prime minister. Oh. And Boris Johnson was forced to resign. and no, not for the reason you're probably thinking of.

It was not the parties. It was in the parties. I thought it was the parties. No, it was, wasn't it? Because he got found guilty of holding a party or something. Yeah, he got found guilty of illegally holding parties in the prime ministers' home. That got found illegal and then there was a no confidence vote, but he won that vote. And then he got forced to resign a few weeks later because it got revealed that he had promoted a politician called Pinscher.

It was the pincher guy. Oh, yes. Even though he, like, directly knew that there was sexual harassment complaints against him. Because he made the joke. He made the joke once a pincher, always a pincher. No, no. Pinscher by name. Pincher by nature.

So he completely knew. And then the Conservative Party was like. Of course he was undound by a quip. Quite a good. Yeah. Quite a good. Like, the Conservative Party was like, okay, yeah, no, you can't just promote someone, you know is doing like that stuff but in yeah we'd never do that in Australia so I'm sure

sent like shockwaves to the coalition here being like asking what went wrong our game they're probably called Scott Morrison's empathy consultant like I'm confused isn't that why you give someone promotion I mean also around that time was John Barrow's ICAC hearings were the big hit and local news just like as big of a hit as John Barrow did to an ACA reporter yeah so So what was John Barilaro done for in the year? Barilaro was the job. So John Barbarallaro actually. Yes.

So he actually is a person. This is what we're saying. There's too much in 2020 to possibly remember. He's the one who asked for the ICAC. Like he was the one guy that we need an ICAC into this. I want to give evidence forward. Because it turned out that he actually wasn't the person who gave him the job. But didn't he go into the, into his offers?

Part of the evidence was. And he, that's the job that I'm. I want to want to go on that one that I don't want to trade in boy that we've just created I'm going to have that in a few years time yeah there was stuff like that plus also there's been like text to Matt Keen being like do you reckon I should apply for this and Matt Keen was like I mean a guess yeah sure like like eventually what happened was it turned out like the main person who cleared him was there was someone who

constantly kept badgering all the public service people like hypothetically if I was to change the list order so I can give it to John Barrow Laro as a surprise gift, what would I do? And then so, like, they literally just, like, wrote down those conversations being like, she said surprise gift, so it sounds like she's going to rig it. I mean, who hasn't wanted to give their boss a job in another country? We've thought about giving Charles a job in New York all the time. But it's not as a gift for him, it's as a gift for us.

I'll take it. So going into the next month, obviously, that wasn't... Where are we up to now? I'm going to August, and that's when it got revealed that Scott Morrison had also given himself jobs. I think it was, it's a bit like, very like the coronavirus. We thought we'd got rid of it and then five new variants pop up. This is now where the world lost a great leader. Belved by many despite doing absolutely fuck all.

Many were shocked to find out they were still going around the first place. We all mourned the loss of a staple in every home, the COVID safe app. We lost the COVID safe app. It was close to finding its first case, but it got shut down, rudely, by the Albanese government. They're costing us a lot of money. And then they announced that public holiday for the COVID safe camp getting shut down.

Obviously, that wasn't the only death at the time. We had ABC's 14-day wall-to-war coverage of a loss that only racist old people thought was relevant. Channel 10's neighbours got shut down for a beer. Also, the queen died around that time. I don't remember. I think I remember that. Yeah, that was a whole thing.

It's nice to see, you know, Prince Charles taking over his king, you know, like, finally. I was, Charles, it hasn't clicked over, yeah, for anyone. But, you know, like, you know. I was really hoping he would go out first. White man back in charge. I mean, into September now, we had the sixth once in 100 year flood at that point. And then that was, like, the whole news was because that was one of the ones where, like, the entire east side of the country, he's got hit by floods. October, Britain lost another prime minister and another Liz.

Ah, yeah. After six weeks of being prime minister, which is still a funny sentence. And then sadly, we've had multiple other than less time. But she wouldn't even be in the top five for us. Is that correct? Yeah. There was like something where there's some that it's like you'd just count it in the days.

The very thing about Liz Trust was that she got in and was like, oh, I'm just going to bring in tax cuts for the rich. And all the economists were like, please don't do that. And then she's like, I'm going to do it. And the public was like, don't do that, change it back. And she was like, no, let's just keep going. Let's see how it works. Like, it's weird seeing the implosion that quickly of a policy.

And then like in Australia, the Labour Party was like, we should all take notes and learn how to do it better. And it's like, no, it's still like, oh, yeah, we're saying we're sending tax cuts for the rich. But we're just not going to do it how Britain did it. And it's like, I've got a real theory about it. this, which is that policy has been electoral gold since

1980. Tax cuts for the rich. Tax cuts for the rich has been the prevailing way of doing anything for the last 45 years. You know, 1981, 40 years, let's say. 1981 was when Reagan started doing it, and it just worked, right?

Like, it just, it worked in terms of you look like you're doing tax cuts and then the rich benefit. And it's like you look like you're doing it for everyone. So poor people vote for you because you're doing a tax cut. Rich people vote for you because it only benefits them. And then I reckon, so I reckon the whole thing is that, like,

the reason why they're doing it in Australia is it's like inertia. Like, like, we sort of think of, oh, the treasury and, you know, leaves trust, she must be so smart. And you just go, no, she's just as dumb as everyone else. Yeah. And she just hasn't updated her thinking. Same with Australian treasury. They just don't realize that this is not going to.

It's not, it's over. But you've got to give them, you've got to give them respect, though. They made an electoral promise, and they stuck to it. Yeah, and you can understand

why the Treasury in Australia do it, because they're all on, they'd be all on the senior public servants. They're on 370 a year. Hey, who else wants a tax card? All in favor say, oh, 100%. And then, like, I mean,

even the... Oh, look at this modeling I got. It says it's good. Whoa, we've got bilateral support. across the bench. It's amazing. The Chaser Report, now with extra whispers. I remember like,

because this is also around the time that the initial, like, looking at the election for Labor got leaked, and it was like, do we think that it was the policies or wasn't Scott Morrison that caused the election? And then now, like,

around the time of recording, they've just, like, the full strategy thing has just really been released. And they spent six months researching and a lot of money. I was like, the reason Scott Morris,

the reason Albinsey won was because everyone hates, like you could have saved six months of money and planning to just ask like anyone and then they've also come out with a plan of like which obviously looks like an interesting as well like oh the biggest threat is the teals and the greens the next election so clearly the solution is we go more conservative and then villainize there I am looking to hear me out I'm going to be the first person to say this in the country and I want to know I am looking forward to a greens majority like Sorry, I'm looking forward to the Greens being a major party after the next election.

It's going to have, there's no, there's no way. No, I don't know who it's, no, definitely, I feel like because they said the way they're going to stop the balance of power is by going conservative, and then saying like, oh, kids who are. The Teals and the Greens, you need to vote for the major party because they're crazy, like that is literally what Liberal Party tried at this election and failed, but they can nurse your idea of like, oh, no, that's how we're going to win. It's like, let's get that thing.

From now, a kid who's four... Your son, who's 14, will be voting in the next election. First of all, three years. Is not going to vote for liberal. Three, your son's going to vote in the next election, right? No. 14 plus three is 17. 17.

I don't know if your kids are 14 or 15. Yeah, 14. Three, like, but, no, but countering that is that... And this is true. This is the scientific, you know, measurement, which is that there is a metric fuck ton of boomers. still alive and they're not dying. If you look at the demographics and go to the ABS website

and you look at how many old people are there? Like how many people over 65 are there? It's like 99% of Australia is people over 65. It's unbelievable. Why do you think I'm going to all of these nursing homes and trying to give everyone COVID, Charles? I want my bet. I want a Greens majority to come through.

That's why we've got the Let It Rip strategy. It's a Greens conspiracy. If only someone could stop flooding all of these other places, then I'll be fine. Moving on, we've got... In October, we also had the... That's when the hacking started. Every company got hacked at the same time. Yeah.

Like, the NBN was no longer the biggest threat to Australian Internet. And that's also when... I think Optus dealt with it quite well. By advertising on our podcast now. Yeah, have you heard them? Oh, really? Yeah, they're advertising on the show. They're like, oh, we're sorry.

We understand that people are upset by what happened, but you can trust us now. Sorry that everyone got your data, Charles Firth of 107.3.30. You haven't heard that ad? No, I just saw it, you know, because there was a strange week, wasn't it? Yeah. At the beginning of the week, the hacker was asking. It was clearly a teenage boy. Yeah, yeah.

Do you think it was Cam, maybe? Oh, I had my suspicions. If anyone was. Um, was asking for a million dollars. By the end of the week, it was like, no. Unlike what Elon Musk is now doing to Twitter's old employees, where he's just doxing random employees, this person like had a soul.

Oh my goodness. Elon Musk hasn't even bought Twitter yet. That's how far. That's where we're up to is Elon Musk buying Twitter, everything going to shit on Twitter. Oh, yes. My favorite thing about Elon Musk buying Twitter is it's proved he's not a genius. Like every decision he made, it was like the obvious thing not to do it.

He just fired. His main lawyer, because his lawyer pointed out that there's legal issues with him doxing employees. Yeah, no, that's your lawyer's job. Well, so does this mean we'll see the end of Elon Musk in 2023? I mean, is that on the cards? Is he at risk of bringing down his whole? So, okay, looking at these companies right now, Tesla's stock is at the loss that's been, NeurLink is getting investigated by authorities because of animal use.

So, like, it does look like he's going to go down, which is great because that's one of the biggest, That's an actual villain going down. Yeah, no, we've taken him down. I think that the only thing that you need to understand that Elon Musk is completely insecure and a failure is the fact that he started buying Twitter with the campaign that he'll bring back free speech and then one day later shut it down

because he didn't like people making fun of him. I mean, obviously the best part of the story is that he did it because Joe Rogan and his ex-wife texted him asking him to do it. Where are we up to? Please tell me we are through October. We are up to the election in Victoria when dictator Dan

Dictator Dan fell down some stairs. He won the shocking win in Victoria. That was shocking to the media and very obvious to literally everyone else. I don't think that anyone could have picked it. Did you say that Dan Andrews might actually be getting a statue? Really? There is a chance under, because he's been in for so long, this old law, this old, like, Briconia law could mean that he might get a statue.

Because if there's one thing we know about people who aren't dictators, it's that they hate getting statues put up of them. Yeah, absolutely the weirdest thing about that election to me is still the idea that they're like, right, we need a personality battle. We're going to paint Dick Tedder Dan as a guy who fell down some stairs once and as a pussy. Versus Nazis.

We love the Nazis. Nazis are going to win it. Obviously, a Mac guy said he wasn't going to step down and then a day later said he was stepping down. And I'm assuming Kanye West will be the new leader of the Victorian Liberal Party. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So.

And that was November. So now we're into December. Now we're up to December. When Scott Morrison got censured for a constitutional crisis. Oh, censured. That sounds like a really devastating and impressive punishment. Oh, I mean, yeah, it's great. It's great for that level.

Surely he faced huge consequences for his unconstitutional actions. It is the exact same level that Paul Enhanse. It was too harsh for Pauline Hanson to get for her racism stuff. Oh, boy. It was a real stern talking to on the hanser. I like that's a no-no and it's a real bad no-no and we don't like it it's it's similar to what I got about one of my jokes we're sending a letter home to your parents god well no that's the next step that's the next step that's the next step right sorry sorry parents and then if

you're really bad five minutes in the naughty corner and then we are up to now we're up to now Trump wants to destroy the constitution oh I thought we were done with the year and then you kept going and that's it and that's it I'm not going to that further because I'm pretty sure we just did an episode about Trump and the Constitution. Trump and the Constitution, and who knows where it goes from now. And by the time this episode comes out, Godzilla's probably attacked New York and... I'm actually really scared because I know that this episode isn't supposed to come out for four days. Who knows what could have happened?

I just cannot believe that this year has gone on for this long. And it feels even longer when you're doing it in two podcast episodes. I cut out a lot as well. You can now see why I didn't want to do this. Oh, no. This was terrible. This is a terrible idea. In fact, it's gone on.

22's, a wrap-up episode has gone on for so long that Charles has fallen asleep. If you notice why he stopped talking on Ilan Musk, it was because he said his point, and then he just started, like, going glassy eye, and now he's fully asleep. Now he's fully. So our gears from road microphones,

and we've hired the ACAST creator network. Everyone wish Charles a happy new year on Twitter. and sweet dreams. No, no, Charles. So, what? What? It's over already? Oh, no.