The Chaser Report - Albo's Game of Thrones

Episode Date: May 16, 2023

Dom is back on home soil! Charles catches him up on all the latest announcements from Labor's Minister For (Or Against) The Environment. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gatigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report with Dom and Charles, and we're back in the same space. Hello, I'm back from the land of amazing electronic toilets. Really, I love Japan, but the best thing about it of all is that the toilets have computers in them. So does that mean you actually can browse a computer while you're on the toilet? Well, you can. There's amazing internet. everywhere. But no, it means it's, without going to go to too much details, there's an electronic

spray, Charles, pressure variable spray. You save on paper. It's very hygienic. And it warms the toilet seat. But does it, it's a bit, it's just like a bidet, right? Kind of, but it's a smart bid. And you can also, this is the best bit. And you don't have to go to France. That's right. There's also a button you can press in many of them, which plays the sound of a toilet flushing so that you can hide the sound of you going to the toilet, which apparently is a thing that many people do. People are going to the toilet and wasting. People are flushing as they went and wasting water.

So they instead created a recording of the sound of flushing to save water. I mean, that's just a can-do attitude to technology. It's a great way to deal with shame. Yes. To just bury it a little bit deeper. Yeah, the shame is a given. Let's find an eco-friendly form of shame. That's what they've done, and I really admire it.

Coming up on the show, we're going to just do a round-up of the news. We haven't really talked about the news in last week. Has anything happened? Nah. There's tons of stuff. There's a bit of a celebration. We'll get to that straight after the break. You know what?

I didn't watch any of the coronation, Charles. I was in Japan wandering around doing tourist stuff. And it occurred to me that I could stop doing that and watch a very old man in weirdly florid robes becoming king despite already being king. I didn't do that. So at some point, can you film me in on what that was? But there's no rush.

I don't think we need to do that today. Well, yeah, we must do it some other time because I have to catch up on my coroner. coronation. I recorded it, of course. Oh, naturally. On my VHS VCR. Oh, yes. Just to get into the spirit of, you know, ye oldie times. Yeah, I got some scribes to write on preparations what was happening. I unfell that at some point. So we should, well, we can have a coronation celebration party. Maybe when Charles dies, we can. Well, you don't want to get it to. I mean, he only got his coronation, what, nine months or something like that after the actual war of

however it longer was after the actual death. And he was king immediately. Yeah. So I don't actually know. He didn't change anything. No, no. So anyway, we'll get into that at some point. That's not breaking news by now anyway.

But just, I just wanted a flag we haven't actually done that yet. But I wouldn't rush. But I'm very pleased to announce a bit of a celebration today because this week, Tanya Pliversick, announced Labor's first new coal mine approved by the Labor government. Oh, it was that the sound of people on the streets partying? at that. And Minister for, was it still for the environment, her job title? Minister, yeah, I think four or against, I think it's about the environment.

Yeah, it's probably more accurate. But look, what was, I think, wonderful about 10 years, and we'll get into the details of it, but what is truly wonderful is it actually happened on the same day as the 70th anniversary of climate change being a mainstream item in the press. What, 70th? It was 70. In 1953, in May, 1953, at a meeting of the American Geophysical Union, a Canadian physicist, Gilbert Plas, who'd been talking to other scientists, told the gathered scientists that trouble

was afoot. And he said, the large increase in industrial activity during the present century is discharging so much carbon dioxide into the atmosphere that the average temperature is rising at the rate of 1.5 degrees per century. And then that got picked up by the Australian Associated Press, got syndicated in the Sydney Morning Herald, appeared in Newsweek on May the 18th and time. It went viral, Dom. It went the equivalent of 1950s viral. The idea that, it wasn't called climate change, it was called the carbon dioxide theory of climate change. Hang on, but why didn't someone say anything.

It did. It was huge news. No, but why didn't someone with credibility say? Why didn't scientists speak up? Why didn't policy makers? Why didn't, like, Al Gore make a movie about it or something? Plas then spent the rest of his career popularising this theory. Wow.

It was a cover story. Would we call it popularising? Has it reached critical mass yet? I don't think it has. Okay, there's a few Tiles voters. Anyway, a few Tils MPs elected off the back of this newfangled theory. But I thought it was very. very elegant that they would announce the approval of the first coal mine.

They're a completely new coal mine that Labor has now brought into the world on the very anniversary of that being sort of discovered and popularised. And worth noting, I mean, we don't like to talk about politicians' ages, but quite some time I would imagine before Tendipzig was born. Yes, that's right. This happened. But I've been looking into this. It's called the Isaac River coal mine.

I couldn't put it on a river, that'll work. And general consensus is a bit of a nothing burger. Bit of a nothing burger. You know, I hate climate change as much as the next. Inner city lades sipper. It was sorry, inner city lade sipper. Woke. Yeah, but.

Brigade member. This is a coking coal mine. It's only going to be open for five years. And there is a theory to say that actually the announcement that she approved this was actually to distract from. the other things that happened that day that were far worse than the mine. Okay.

So she's, it's kind of like a fun sized coal mine. It's just a little blip. It's a tiny little five-year coal mine that's only, it's not going to be used for thermal coal, right? So it's just the metallurgical coal, which you could actually argue, and it's going to be 100% offset, you could argue

well, you sort of need coking coal to make steel and stuff like that. This is a politically tricky thing where anyone who says, you know, Labor's doing something about climate change. You go, well, look at the mine we approved. I know, but, you know, of all the coal mines to approve, this is a pretty small one compared to the other announcements she made that day,

which no one is paying attention to. So you're saying the lead was buried beneath a sort of new coal mine. Yeah, yeah. They went, okay, let's make something sound really bad. We'll announce a coal mine to distract away from the even worse stuff, which is, so there were three other. mine projects that she took to the next stage of environmental assessment, and their thermal coal.

So Mount Pleasant, the nicest Mount Pleasant mine. Known for their fine wines and fine coal if this goes ahead. Are they going to build a mine in the middle of the vineyard? What the fuck? If they approved the expansion of that, that would be an extra 12 million tonnes of thermal coal a year. But it's pleasant coal? The Adani Carmichael mine, which was expected... I thought that was off.

It was expected to... No, it's been moved to the next stage of environmental assessment. This has all happened on the same day. I thought the Adani had kind of fallen over, you like a finance or whatever it was. Of course you did, because you were too concentrating on the Isaac River. Pissy little mine, Dom. Okay, so Adani's closer to reality, right. And so that one, and that one, I can't remember what the third one is,

but the Adani one is expected to operate until... mid-2020-2050s, by which time most countries have pledged to quit qualified power completely. So that would take us up to the 100th anniversary of the climate change announcement, basically. Yes, exactly, yes. Yeah, amazing. Yeah. So how do you think she's enjoying the environment portfolio, Tanya? I mean, she wanted education.

Everyone knows she wanted education. Yes. And it was seen as a bit of a demotion. Do you think maybe she's just, she's got a little bit of a chip on her shoulder? Is there wood chipping as well? The analogy I saw Charles about this was, you know how Tony Abbott made Malcolm Turnbull ripped the NBN apart piece by piece?

And he's basically one of the people who brought fast internet to Australia with Aussie mail in the first place. I want to say fast, I mean, duller. And just had to basically, you know, completely destroy and know what he was doing. Yes. And get up in front of the media day after day and say how they were improving the NBN, it was much better.

It was a bit like, who was that character on Game of Thrones who got subordinated, what was his name, Tweek, what was the name? Rique, Rique. Oh, wow. Yeah, it was sort of like Malcolm Turnbull was the reek. So Theon Grayjoy, who gets literally neutered. Which I think is quite right. Like, Theon Grayjoy, yeah, was the Malcolm Turnbull of the coalition government.

I just can barely remember. Ramsey Bolton, I think, cut off his dick, basically and sent it to his dad. Ramsey Bolton being Tony Abbott. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not a bad analogy. But in this analogy, I think you're right. I think Anthony Alberdezzi is Ramsey Bolton. And Reek is tenure blipersick.

Being forced to... Is there anything Game of Thrones can't... What's the situation where you make someone basically consume their own sons in a pie? Because that's definitely happened in Australian politics on multiple occasions. Okay, no, but this is... I think that's more of a sort of obede style.

Yes, okay. So she's having to make humiliating announcement after humiliating announcement. I can see Richo doing that. You wouldn't see him doing it. You wouldn't say it. No, I didn't know. There'd be no documentation about it. It wouldn't be in writing.

There'd just be an insurance claim for which I'm not holding him responsible because everyone knows that was exonerated. And anyone involved who knows better is dead. Not that I'm, you know, I have a lot of respect for Richo. I mean, what an operator. You wouldn't cross him. You definitely wouldn't cross him. Definitely wouldn't say defamatory things about him on a podcast.

No, he knows his way around a pie. It does Richo. A man, I love. I consider him a father and a grandfather and an uncle and God. Yeah. Yeah. Does that cover our liability? I'm not sure.

The Chaser Report. Now with extra whispers. Okay, so yes, God she must hate going to work. Can you imagine? Because somewhere in there is the 10-year plebiscic who was starry-eyed and, you know, like Malcolm Temble, she used to go on Q&A and everyone went, oh, she's wonderful. Why isn't she, Prime Minister? There's a wonderful woman with all these principles. Well, it does make you think, I wonder at this point whether she's considering

whether the correct way to try and change the world is through electoral politics. Being on the inside. Yeah, that actually, because what has happened in Australia, because it certainly made me question my belief in electoral politics. Versus farant revolution. You know, well, no, just versus any. I don't know, fucking bumper sticker campaigns might be more effective at this point. Well, you've done some good ones on us. Yeah, I know, exactly.

We brought down Murdoch with that. But, no, no, because the thing is, like, we elected, you know, the Labor government to do something different, right? You know, and most people supported the Labor government, you know, in coalition with the Greens. Well, I mean, that's where the majority lies. And it's not really that.

They're not different. Well, Charles, they're doing amazingly well. Have you seen the latest polls out today? Well, exactly. They're absolutely smashing it. So Albo's strategy of going firmly to the centre and not frightening the horses and doing the things that mainstream Australians

are not done, but not the scary stuff that might be a bit radical. Yes. That's very popular. So your argument is not with the Labour Party, Charles. Your argument is with Australians. I've actually got a theory on what has happened. Because now, I mean,

And the latest news poll is the coalition are on 45, Labor's on 55, which is very commanding. Albao is on 56 as preferred Prime Minister compared to 29 for, I was going to say Tony Abbott, Peter Dutton. It's so hard to tell, isn't it? And the thing is that you go, I've got a theory, which is why has suddenly it gone from being, oh, you know, 50-50 to Labor just going, like everyone's supporting Labor. The answer is, this is my theory, is the Liberal Party, while you're away in Japan, Dom, what happened was the Liberal Party is now a minority in every single Parliament in Australia, including Tasmania. Oh, yes, the one place where they had, and their own, didn't their own MPs quit because their policies were just too shit? They didn't like the new stadium?

Well, it was the new stadium that saw them quit. But now, but the one thing that Australians hate is a minority, right? Oh, I see. They look at the Liberal Party and they go, oh my God, well, we've got to, we don't like them, they're a minority. You see what you did? Did you see what I did? So there's also very well done, Charles.

There's also a poll out in the Herald. Do you want more, you know, but can I just also say that on that Tasmanian thing, which is what brilliant politics by Anthony Avanese to throw, throw $250 million of our taxpayer dollars on something which federal governments have never done and he's brought down an entire government. Yeah, he's taken out the one remaining. This is the thing. Alba is doing an amazing job of...

The politics. I mean, there's also stats in the Herald today, Charles. Next you'll get the Greens voting for the coal mines. Well, they did. Haven't they already voted? Didn't they sort of meet them halfway? Yeah, the safeguard mechanism. On the safeguard mechanism.

So the Herald has stats here today. They say that 63% of voters, So the government's done a good job. Only 29% rated it poorly. 63%. This is my favourite stat in this poll, which is the Resolve Strategic Poll, by the way. You know how many people think the government's doing a very good job?

None. 2%. But no, Dutton's absolutely nowhere. He's 53 to 20 as preferred Prime Minister. Australians don't like tall poppies. Don't be too good. No, that's the thing. Albu's doing it pretty.

It's just be mediocre. He's really caught the spirit of what Australians really want. That's right. And those things creased in this poll They're a priority vote from 32% to 42% Charles And it's by not doing that much He's the John Howard of the left He has, he's read Donald Horn

And he's read Donald Horne's thesis Which was the lucky country Which is the idea that Australia is cursed By lots and lots of mediocre leaders Which still bumble by Because we've got fairly good resources Like coal and stuff like that that we can sell overseas and we can make our own food and everything like that.

And he's read it and instead of going, oh, that was a harsh criticism of Australia, he's read it as, oh, this is my strategic label. This is the manual. Yes, it's a manual. I don't want to frighten the horses. I don't want to be too radical. When he's come out, Charles, there was a proposal. I don't know if you saw this. To limit negative gearing to one property.

So you allowed one property to get your negative gear and get all the tax banza. Yeah. But more than that is a little greedy. Yeah. So you get taxed more highly on the second, third, fourth. fifth, you know, the standard parliamentarian amount of properties. And sniffing something, Peter Dutton came out and immediately gone, oh, Labor's going to change negative gearing again, we're back to shorten and Albo's.

No, no plans to get into that. We wouldn't want to get into that and, you know, undermine the wealth of ordinary Australians who own five houses. We wouldn't want to do that. That would be a bit radical. What would young Albo growing up in that, in the council home, think of Albo's prime Minister. Well, I could only assume that he obviously didn't particularly like his home. No. He wanted to live in the lodge.

You know how to do it. But the thing is, Charles, maybe, because he's showing a degree of mastery that I think we weren't necessarily ascribing to him. We thought he was a true believer rather than a true cynic. Maybe in the second or third term, he'll do a little something. It's a little moment for legacy. Yes. Well, traditionally, actually, Australian politicians, on their way out the door, what they do is they do something for Indigenous people. Oh, in the 2030s. They always give like $100 million to that

or Howard did the intervention. That was his little gift to Indigenous people. Well, after the, if the voice falls over, you won't make that mistake again, will he? You just do something. Well, no, but I think Albo has sort of got in, you know, first with the Indigenous stuff, you do something for Indigenous people.

So what can the legacy be? Like it'll be a reverse Howard, won't it? So what did Howard do in his first term? Guns. Guns. You'll distribute it. You'll give free guns back. That's what he'll do.

No, look, it's an issue one. But there is, I mean, if you're going to look at the dark arts, we should get a spin person on to talk about how this works. Because I can imagine in Labor headquarters, there's someone vaguely competent who's going, only do one radical thing. It seems unlikely. But can't you imagine that being logical to do one?

You're doing the voice. That's it for this year. Yes. Don't have any other fights. Don't do anything else radical. Just try and get this one thing. Yes. Which is simply saying that if you're going to make laws that affect a group of disadvantaged people whose land were stolen from them, you should ask them.

Yes. That's all it is. Yes. Let's be clear. It's very non-radical. No one's actually explained that what all of this says is, should we just check in with you before we legislate in a way that could make things even worse for you, people who have suffered extraordinarily. And we'll check in with you. We can completely ignore you.

It's not like... We're just going to ask. It's just, it's like, you know, a parent-teacher consultation where you bring, you get to check and you feel, oh my gosh, the teachers talk to me, but the next day in the classroom, they're not necessarily going to have to act on it. I feel like that's not the strongest argument for the voice on, though,

is, oh, we can totally ignore the voice. But this is the whole thing. It's being... I mean, it's okay, there's a chance that it's something historic and symbolic and all this stuff. But the people who are campaigning against it, It's a very innocuous proposal in many respects. Yeah, yeah.

It's very Australian. You'd have to be a real cunt. Go against it, wouldn't you? Yeah. Well, let's just say it's surprising how controversial it's been, shall we? Our gear is from Road. We're part of the Iconiclass Network. We'll be back tomorrow.